The Nick DiPaolo Show - Laredo Highway To Hell | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1911

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

In today's episode Nick talks about A House of Horrors, Grandma Wrecks Bikers, Jet Crash Lands on Highway, A Literal Race Swap, L.A. Zoo Problems and Hate For Nate! The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow GET TOUR DATES & TICKETS - https://www.nickdip.com/tour NOVEMBER 5TH - The Punchline: ATLANTA, GA NOVEMBER 6TH - Rivers Casino: PHILADELPHIA, PA NOVEMBER 7TH - Soul Joel's: POTTSTOWN, PA MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/  

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Man, fuck your corn dogs. Corn dogs? What? Hey, welcome to the live lineup where it's free shows all day. And if you want to watch ad free, just join Rumble Premium. And don't forget to follow my channel and download the Rumble app. We were in the, as you guys know, when you watch Rumble, there's a center screen, a big one. and like four little satellites around it.

And when they put me in the middle, I mean, last night when I went to bed, it was close to 100,000 views, the show that day. And when I'm in the satellite things, it's like 25, you know, and eventually as the week goes on, I'll get up the 40 or whatever. But do you see what I'm saying? I feel like it's not being seen enough.

What can you do? It's been my life story. but I got to do blow Dan Bondino who I watch a little to him he's just I like that he's a regular dude and he had his theory about this well I didn't it was just a clip previewing a show

about the White House plot that was spoiled during the UFC thing on Sunday night and I don't know what his angle is because it was only a quick clip but he goes you people fall for this I don't think he was saying the White House is lying. Maybe somebody else said I have

an inside scoop on what happened. I think that's what he was saying. And you people that, you know, I'm the only one that knows the true. You fall for it every time he goes. I feel bad. He actually had a good point. He goes, because whatever you do for living, you're going to get taken by it because you're so gullible. It was actually a good point.

I don't think he was saying, you know, oh, it's all bullshit. Can't. He just came out of the White House. And he's obviously. A fan. Red Sox great last night. I don't know. Fucking 8 to 2. Some shit like that at home. Lose again. Oh my God. What a train wreck, folks. And it's making me laugh because I couldn't wait to see everybody.

Remember the fucking radio. You couldn't even get on a talk show in the offseason. People couldn't wait. Roman Anthony's been out already for like five, six weeks. You know, when it happened, they were like, oh, you know, whatever. He fucking tore a ligament or something in his hand, which is. fucking devastating. Who knows when he's going to be back? And again, crochet

still has pain. It is turned into, I actually feel bad for the interim manager. And when they had these guys, they weren't doing very good, but they would have been. I mean, they're loaded. But it's a bust. You can't look at it any other way.

The poor, not the poor, but the head of operations here, Craig Breslo. He's an Ivy League guy. Very smart. he was a pitcher. And I kept, like I said, on the offseason, he kept,

everything was about pitchers and reliefs. It's all they were trying to go for. You know? And then, even under Cora, oh, we got these athletic guys who steal bait.

You're in Fenway. It's a fucking beautiful softball park. Left field is a short porch. Get that lineup. I don't want to see anybody smaller than Mark McGuire in it

from one to nine. And I want all righties. Fuck this. left-handed hit is Fenway is a wet dream for left. You could play it. You can hit it off that wall. Fuck that. Takes a lot of skill, by the way.

Only great hit is go to the opposite field for the most part. Give me fucking a bunch of canned saco steroid-eating monkeys and let them pepper that wall and blast it over the fucking wall. Because the pitching is there. The pitch, they have done lights out this year. Now they're just getting tired.

They can't help it. I know you guys don't give a fuck as Nick Noltey said in blue chips a billion Chinese couldn't give a shit after the game one of my favorite lines in a movie of it but I just find it so ironic that I was

hyping these guys so much and it's still true they're low to a talent and if they stay healthy for a couple years they'll be very fucking dangerous but let me tell you something first guy on the chopping block and that's coming up in a few weeks uh Jaron Duran I hate to say it

he hit one last night for it 45 five feet, center field. But he strikes out every other fucking time. Decent field because he's got good speed. He doesn't have an arm. He would be great trade bait because he makes chaos when he gets on the basis. He plays hard. That's why I hate to say that about him, but he's a perfect trade chip. Okay, I don't know what you guys want to talk about. Tapioca pudding, tits, pizza. Dallas just one, hmm. He loves tapioca. that's all I had.

Oh, I had to go to a cardiologist. You guys, are you guys enjoying me? Especially people who've been following my career. Watching me fall apart like a fucking 66 Mustang. Fucking shit breaking off every morning. When I was in the hospital for the, you know, this, they did a car at an EKG, whatever the fuck, and they saw a little abner.

They didn't get excited about it. I have to get excited about it. For me to go to a doctor, I want to hear him say, there's a bunch of worms in there eating a dead rat. then I go, how many rats? Seven? All right, I'll go. So anyways. So I go to the cardiologist.

He's been on the book for about a month and a half. I go, and I like the guy right away. What was his last name? Doesn't matter. Very Jewish last name. Well, I love Jew dogs. Nick, what's it matter? It matters a lot. You see the people in India don't wash their hands after they take a shit and make you a sandwich.

They don't know the same thing at the hospital. he comes in a tall guy young nice head of Jew hair nice head of hair but I noticed right away he's got he's got like dress slacks on with shoes but no socks

like you see movie stars doing they go on talk shows LA that's a big thing in LA guys never wear socks and he comes in and he goes to me and this is why I liked him too he goes to me you want the good news of the bad and he didn't say it bubbly he said it with a serious face

so I'm going and I said me being me I go bad news first he goes well you're here and he goes you want the good nose and I go I know what it is I really shouldn't have to be here today should I he goes bingo

he goes I looked at your thing you get some leakage again think of a car fucking leaking oil so you know some leakage of my that very common and he goes and I said but I'm here for that diastolic one side of the heart

a little stiff, the one that accepts the blood. And he goes, nine out of ten people your age have that. And he couldn't have been more, you know, whatever. And then he was wrong. I clutched my chest last night at dinner. No. And I'm like, I knew it.

I fucking knew I didn't have it. And he was laughing, you know. Hey, always good to check it. I go, yeah, I know, but it's not your day. You have to take it. I could have been drinking by now. You know, it was almost two in the afternoon. Anyway, so that was good.

The wife was wrong. I go, why are you relieved? You'd be fucking happy if I was gone tomorrow. Please. The fuck. I would be happy if I was you. She better not die before me. I'm finished.

Somebody asked me, how long would you wait if your wife died to start dating again? I said, I'd be hitting out of her sister at the funeral. Honey, you heard me? You watch your show at all? Look, look what I got today. I think I did better without the teeth at the bar. It's going up to girls.

How you doing? my daddy owns John Deere tractors all right enough for that horse shit T's cardio what'd you have to eat last night Dallas stuffed sweet peppers

you know you son of a bitch that was on my list this week haven't done it in a long time but you know Dallas he'll grow the peppers the night before and they were also wrapped in bacon he wraps him in bacon he takes a nice healthy meal and makes it more delicious and what's the point of being alive

if you're not going to enjoy. Hmm. You wrapped the paper. Oh. Terrific. He might want to have to float that one my way. I get obsessed with it. Huh?

Go on fucking YouTube? I just go, um, I don't smoke pork shoulder. 19 recipes come up. It's insane. What's that? I know. All of them.

I know. That's the thing. Uh, I guess we'll get it. to it, folks. I don't know. Listen, listen, the plan's out, the 12-point plan, you know, the peace plan with Iran, I don't believe in it. I think

this is all a show. Even if it's not, let's say it really is a thing, it's going to fall apart. Like a perfectly cooked smokeshielder. In months or days or whatever. You can't expect these fucking filthy

jerkoffs. We know their history. think they're going to stick to their word. And, of course, the left is busts and Trump's ball. They get $300 billion. It's fucking more complicated. They have to do all this first. Yeah, but where was their ire when Obama gave them pallets of cash? Well, they said their argument was, that was just like this, that was money that was

being sanctioned. It was their money anyway. That's their argument, which they didn't say that when we originally, they're so full of shit. and they're actually Dallas they're actually on there going all the lefty shows I can't even folks I don't even put the clips

on here because they make me I already my blood pressure they make me crazy it's like somebody lying to my face you know they're already going this will leave we are in way worse shape than we were under Obama's deal

I mean just shit that is on its face insane so I didn't bother right in the 12 point you can Google them because I really really don't believe. I just know that they have to do certain things or they're not going to get. And the money, a lot of that money comes from Qatar and all the neighboring, you know. There's a long shot that the kid, the Colmanie's kid who's a fag, maybe he's more open-minded.

If he's even alive, who don't know who they're dealing with. You know what I'm saying? But I wasn't going to boy with all that shit. Then it becomes a real show. So yeah, it's all over the papers. What was one of the other things? What's his name? J.D. Vance went on The View and answered their questions, you know. And then he was on Gutfeld last night, which was great. He's just a fucking likable, smart, regular dude.

Just like, I kicked myself in the ass because he wrote that hillbilly elegy, and I kept hearing about it for years and years and years. And I just fucking, you know, doing more important. thing. Trying to learn the first fucking four notes to Iron Man. You know, shit like that, like a 12 year old boy. But he's very

likable, very knowledgeable, and Gutfeld's great with him. Godfell's just a, it's got a lot of juice. I send those jokes in, I want to know that he knows which ones are mine. It's very important to me. And people, oh, what do you? Yeah, I am

apparently, because I fucking wrote on a show, I told you this. And the roast-mas to general, put his name on my jokes once, which is enough for me to fucking hate him the rest of his life. So, yeah, I'm a little paranoid. Oh, I forgot the initial I did. I don't know. What happens is that, you know, five or six writers

and submit this shit, and then I think one guy pulls the shit for Greg to think what he thinks is good. And then, you know, I mean? I just like to know. because I don't know why, but Gutfeld, to me, he might go further than showbid.

I don't know. I mean, he's like asshole buddies with Trump and all these guys. Nice guy to know. And when he wrote a book a couple of years ago, he had me punch it up, you know? Anyways, I'll be, oh, gee, I haven't even said what we're going to be talking about.

So much yapping that this thing does. This fucking thing. Really? 2026. Fucking Japs. Blank, blank, blank. Blank, blink, blink. There you go, slow down.

Today I'll be talking about House of Horrors. Oh, the Connecticut. See, this doesn't mean anything. People bought a house. It was Connecticut, right? Yeah. They found skeletons, three of them in the house. That's cool.

We got a clip that's been around for a couple days. They didn't get it to it yesterday. You know, those biker, you know, the people that ride their bikes and those silly bike races with their helmets and their spandex, over in Europe and there's 11,000 on a road that holds seven comfortably and they're all packed together. Well, we got a clips of a fucking a tumble that you won't believe in how it was caused. Speaking of tumble, we got a jet crashing on a highway in Texas, a small jet on the left, but Jesus, that was pretty good footage. They don't have the plane hitting, but they have the

aftermath. Also, this has been in the news for a couple of years, but it's come to fruition as far as legalities. and whatnot. A couple, you know, they did the fucking IVF thing. A F-I-B or a T-U-C, T-C-U. Good school. They had a baby and it wasn't the right color. Let's move on. It wasn't the right.

I don't mean it wasn't, you know what I mean. Didn't match their color. And my buddy, not buddy, I shouldn't say that, but I'm marginal friends. I've met him a few times. Nape-Gar-Ga-Ghast. He's terrific comedian. Um, met him at the, uh, what's that thing they do every year that I went to? You came to see me, right in Vegas?

Oh, yeah. What the fuck was that come? Skank Fest. Yes. Yes. Anyways. A nice guy. And great comedian.

I mean, I really, and I'm not saying people go, yeah, he's clean. And that doesn't make a great comedian. You got to be funny first. He just happens to be funny and works clean, you know? Um, you're not going to tell me he's any funnier than a friggin' Richard Pryor or a fucking, you know, Sam Kinnison or, but he's the top, he's the top gross and comedian on the planet right now. And he's, he's, you know, likable. I'm happy for this kid. He's got a nice, smooth delivery. He's like a friggin, it's a nice, like a jazz thing to it.

And, um, anyways, people are upset at him. I'll give you one guess. What a, oh my God. Let's get to the house of horrors. I just left an hour ago to get here. Now, a homeowner discovered the skeletal remains of three people during a first look inside their new Connecticut residents. They purchased at foreclosure auction on Sunday. So I don't even know how it were. I know you are. So I guess it's not one of those deals where you go through a real estate agent

and you do a walkthrough for us. You just get the house and go in and go, that's how I like to do business, by the way. This whole escrow shit, they try to explain escrow to me for fucking two years. and I'm like, it's still kind of silly. Well, the money sits here. It's not your...

How about we just fucking shake hands and exchange the money? What kind of Jewish shit is this? And again, I love Jews. You know that. Don't be dirty kikes. Listen, the horrified resident called 911 just before 5 p.m. on Sunday reporting the human remains inside the Burlington,

Connecticut home, which they purchased as is. Oh, there's the key. They weren't kidding, as is. Well, what do you mean as is? I could see old carpeting and shit and the original floors. No, the grandmother that died four years ago. Her two nieces had cancer. They're on her lap and they're all dead.

Sitting in the chair still. You've got to get them out. All right. They bought that on June 6th, according to the Connecticut State Police. Anytime the state police is commenting on when you bought a house, it's not good. The state's office of the chief medical examiner is still working on identifying the three deceased and possible causes of death, while others try to track down the former homeowners.

How do you know it's not them? Anybody home? Could be Gene Hackman and his wife. You know, the East Coast version is all I'm saying. What the fuck is I going to say? I had a great story for you people about this, about when me and Andy bought a house. Oh, to have a memory again.

God damn it. They went in the house. Oh, my God, I can't believe it. It would fit perfectly. It'll come back to me a year from now while I'm driving into a lady as she's crossing the street with the groceries. Paul Cash and Sally Ancash. Yes, yes, Paul Cash in there, Sally Ann Cache and their son.

I can even link a one. Purchased the home in September of 2019 for a little over half million dollars. They took a $385,000 mortgage out on the property, but it's unclear when they did that, according to the town records. The cash is defaulted on their $3,225 mortgage payments in December of 2024 and January of 2025. So we're talking about, you know, a little over a year and a half ago. Shellpoint mortgage servicing initiated a foreclosure sometime in the first half of 2025. Connecticut Marshall Grant.

I was looking at this going, is that his title? Is that his name? Marshall Grant Carragher. he's a marshal told the outlet that he attempted to serve the caches with a foreclosure complaint in August of last year but was unable to reach them hello hello is anybody there

echo echo a letter confirming the beginning of the foreclosure process was eventually mailed to a post office box at UPS store a UPS store in Avon, Connecticut good hockey up there roughly 10 miles away from Burlington. The cash has never responded. Why don't you fucking check out the dental work first?

Save yourself a lot of paperwork. The cash is, I'm guessing they knew drug dealers and shit, and they came up empty. The cashers never responded to the repeated correspondence appeared in court or sent an attorney in their state. Yeah. Wow. A court approved the home for a foreclosure auction on March

23rd, a move that's now being called into question. Well, yeah, now it's a crime site. I'm dying to find out who it is. Stay on that way, it will update it. It'll pop up again, hopefully. Imagine it comes back. It's like, it's three members of the band Fog Hat, who were famous in the 70s.

Apparently they bought a house in Connecticut and fucking did so many drugs. They died right there. I told you I lived near, you know who. What was my fucking? and buy a house story, real estate. It was perfect. Does Mark Zuckerberg, has he come up with something

for people like me who have a great thought and a second later? He's got glasses for blind people now. Have you seen that? He's in Meta glasses, seen the commercial for him. God bless him. There's a blind guy and he's got a letter in his hand, which made me laugh my balls on.

And he goes, Meta, can you read me this letter? And it fucking reads the letter if you look at it with his, You know, it reads the letter, and then he's in his closet going, which one is the blue shirt? That one right there, which creeps me out. And I go, that's pretty amazing. It turns out Zuckerberg's just right behind the guy going, that's the blue one. What a fucking lying, too bastard. Or is fucking with him, and he's wearing, like, a dress.

That was where I was going with it. Son of a bitch. Because they have them, the next thing they do, they go, it's two guys walking, like, and they go, matter where is the American flag and they go you know five 10 feet to your right and they both turn and do this and that's where I was going I was going to you know and they turn it to homeless and he'd take it a shit and they both but seriously you know that's what that shit you know and the same with the Elon Musk right

comes up with a chip that help and paralyze people can you imagine Democrats call him a Nazi and evil. The guy has raised more capital for people, made people rich. He's helped, you know, people who are paralyzed. He's got 19 companies. These guys have never run a

lemonade stand and all they can do is point and say Nazi. That's why you're scum on the left. Yeah, like 90% of it is all untouchable for him anyway. That's right. It's tied up. You know what I'm saying? Meanwhile, he's doing

unbelievable good electric cars. Remember how he was their god until he fucking had the balls to agree with Trump and work with him a little bit. People are, you're just fucking, because you're losers in life most of you. I wish you watched my show. I'm trying to get the hate viewers like Howard Stern used to. Howard Stern during the movie Private Parts

when he first became huge on NBC Radio. There, the guy's like, yeah, but look how many people hate his guts. And the guy goes, they're listening to him longer than the people. people who like them. True fact. It doesn't work that way here because it's so divided. There's a million you can go wherever you want your little corner. You know what I do to make myself feel good. You think I'm kidding? I watch those, I watch those reactions to musicians like young kids reacting to bands that I like and you like and black people reacting to the BGs and it makes

me, it really does. When they say like music and comedy is like really the key. It sounds corny, but to fucking, it's the only thing we can sort of agree on and that and spool, all the shit that, you know. But there's a girl on there, Stacey R.P.G. who reviews, you know, and she's in her 20, whatever. You know me, I'm a blonde freak. That's since I was six. I used to wear a blonde wig to school, but that got nothing to do with it. But she's just got dark hair, you know. I love pale skin. I love really pale beautiful skin, dark eyes, dark hair. It has to be that.

If it's, you know, brunette, brown, whatever the fuck, it doesn't... Other than that, for me, everything, it's always blonde, blue. I like my wife. Took me two seconds when I saw her. Okay, nine years before I put a ring on it, but that's not the point. Fuck. Thank you. Back to the story.

Was I doing a story? Elsie's like, I don't know. I wasn't watching. I'm reading the paper. Torreed. November 5th. Boy, this seems a long way away. How many times have I said this, Della?

But it really is, though. For, you know, my, we usually read these a couple months, three months ahead of, this is compared to, I'm just saying relatively. Yes, it'll be here tomorrow, I know. Which means college football will be here yesterday. I'm already drooling over there. How about Indiana? You have to think back and go, who won it all last year? Indiana.

But it didn't get enough press. The teams they beat, some of them twice. They didn't lose a game, folks. And they had to play that whole fucking playoff system on top of the fucking regular schedule. And it is, anyways, what's I got to do? Well, the guy, half the team's coming.

They like me. November 5th, punch line to land. Number six. Number six. Have I had enough of this? I'm not going to shit. till February of 3033. Rivers Casino on November 6th in Philly

and November 7th, Soul Joles, which is always a fun gig, Pottstown, PA. And I remind you, it'll be a full year almost of the day when I go on stage in November. So I did take a year off, thanks to my teeth rotting out. Anyhow, it's fun when I'm rusty and I'm terrible. Merchandise, go to nickdip.com, go to the merchandise page.

Did I say get tickets yet for the show before they run out? There you go. Buy something. It supports this show. And it's nice. I'm not kidding you. Andy has great taste and like material and shit. You know?

Everything's plastic. If your kids wear it, it'll go up like a fucking pair of pajamas with gas on. You'll love them. Hoodies, t-shirts, hats, girdles, nipple clamps, fucking IUDs, ass plugs. If you want me to send a personal video to somebody, go to shoutout.us. Shoutout.us. It's almost like cameo.

You know, you can tell me whatever. You want me to be funny or you can say, hey, my son's thinking about transitioning. I want you to come to the house and poison them. I'll be there. Stop wasting time scrolling through endless clickbait, social media, and emails, trying to keep up with the news. Instead, listen to all the news you need in just 10 minutes. minutes. Welcome, welcome to The Newsworthy. The Newsworthy podcast makes it faster, easier, and more enjoyable to get unbiased news on the go. It helps us navigate the news without feeling overwhelmed. Even when my time is limited.

So much detail and information in 10 minutes. Listen now by searching the Newsworthy in your podcast app or go to the Newsworthy.com. All righty then. Vodville in our vaudeville segment tonight. And now for Nick's video of the podcast. the day. That's creepy. I don't know where you found that, but an elderly woman caused a mass crash. You guys might have seen this by now, but I can't help it. Nothing funnier than people hurting themselves, especially when it's a friend.

They fall down the stairs or slip on ice. Oh, my God. Especially if a bone comes through the skin. I can. An elderly woman caused a mass crash during course she did. Once you're over, women over 60, no. No, no, take the keys away. I mean, over 16. Did I say 60?

Aldly woman caused a mass crash during a cycling race in Germany. The pensioner, oh, is that what they call him? The pensioner. The pants wetter reportedly wanted to get a better look at the athlete. What are you going to do? Blow one. You're in your late hundreds on a scooter, you whore. She misjudged the situation.

She's right by the side of the road. And she stuck her little scooter nose out into the course. As they bite through the countryside, some encountered an unexpected obstacle. The elderly woman on her scooter stunned bystand has captured the moment when the woman inched her scooter out of the crowd of spectator. The crowd's right on top of the fucking riders, number one, which is so insanely. And this isn't the first time shit like this has happened. The crowd of spectators into the race path.

One cyclist managed to swerve around the front of the scooter, but a competitor behind him did a nice front hand spring and took out a few others. As far as crashes go without cars being involved in shit or motorcycles, it doesn't get much better. We're going to look at this a few times. It's all the same angle that's coming right at you. The first time I didn't really catch it. The second time, the guy comes right at the camera like a foul ball at a ball game.

Check this shit out. Oh, killing it. Nope. It gets all quiet. Look at one, two, three. And there's more a block away. Fucking bones sticking out of their ass, missing arms and limbs. The old lady's doing donuts and laughing.

Go ahead, show it again. Oh! You hear the crowd? That guy. That guy, one more time. You all cut. Why it was fortunate, he was going to be. I was fortunate. He was going fast enough

where he did a complete, he did a fucking, you know what. Yes, look it. So, in other words, he didn't land face first on the top of his, he fucking did it like a guy and he's going for the end zone. It's cut at the leg. Look at him holding his ass. And these guys, I mean, I understand this. This is competitive. I don't mind it. But it's the people

in my neighborhood that go by in their 30s. And they got helmets on. They're wearing that shit. Dude, what are you doing? They got the gloves on and shit. You're 45. You're on fucking Crescent Avenue. In a fucking residential area.

Are you shitting me? You're doing it tops at four miles an hour. If my dad caught me wearing a helmet as a kid riding a bike, he'd take it off and throw it up. That's the type of dad he was. He really enjoyed safety. Isn't that great? Anyways, more than a hundred cyclists from across Europe

converged right on that scooter and beat the shit out of her. For the Sarlane Oh, it was the Sarlane Trefeo Juniors. I did that a few years ago. I got caught for, you know, a doping. In Germany, each vying for a coveted spot

on the podium. First place gets Hitler trophy. The man smacked into the scooter narrowly avoiding its bumbling occupant and sending him some assault and off his bike, at least four other competitors were downed in the crash, which left them sprawled across the road.

They're looking into the Gambino family. They think they had money on one of these crouts. The first victim Dutch cyclist Paul Vrysman posted on social media that he was involved in a very nasty looking crash, but got away with it relatively well. And here's where I had a great thing that was going to make you laugh, Dallas. We had word from the old lady. Yes, I'm very tired.

I'm tired. I love the nap. I heard you like to take the nap on your favorite thing. Yes. I'll be taking a dirt nap very soon. It says vaudeville two up there. Oh, there's another one? Oh, what am I saying?

Yes. We have two for you. I forgot. Cars run over cops. Shoplifting suspect. Killing the suspect. It's a win-win. The cop survive.

The scumbag. shoplifter is dead. I don't know how anybody survived. This is so weird. I don't know how whoever's driving. It might be the lady who was in a scooter trying to get away from. I don't understand how only one guy died. It was a suspect.

Now I'm believing there's a God. I don't understand. It has to be a Chinese woman in her late hundreds driving. How you don't see three people squatted in the middle of the road. Check this out. It was fucking crazy. It's like the three stooges. Why, you?

Get upstairs. Keep going. Look it. look at the the guy in the back I'm guessing is dead he ain't moving is that a whole guy yeah look at that look under the car

the front of the car maybe it's him I don't know he's still alive maybe we don't know because he's not moving but his head sticking out oh look at the cars how does anybody survive that and you know what

who it was that's right Jill Biden not Joe Jill three pins to pick up the spare. Seven, ten split. And that's it. That's your... Enjoy. And that was Nick's video of the day.

I don't understand that, man. Let's move on to Roadhog. One person was killed when a private plane... This happens a lot in this country, you notice? Huh? It has, right? When a private plane crash landed on a Texas Highway Tuesday, as bystand as an emergency cruise rushed to the fiery wreckage to free those inside the aircraft.

Video from the scene posted online showed the plane upside down and engulfed in flames in Laredo, Texas, shortly after 10 p.m. Check out this very interesting footage. That's the nose of the plane, by the way. They got the captain out. You know what's crazy about that? The fucking plane is still on fire, folks. That's not a Volkswagen. It's not an electric car that burst in. That's a a fucking plane with a ton of fuel in it, I'm guessing. Do you understand? That thing it could have went off

unless somebody said, no, it's out of gas. I don't know. Do you understand? They're taking their lives in danger right there. That thing could have popped and you would have been fucking toast. You've got to hand it to those people. They're very retarded that are helping. Isn't that crazy? And you know what they

updated this morning? You know what caused the crash? One of the guys, when they were landing had his seat back a little bit. It's a true story. Always put on the oxygen ass and punch a kid in the face. Remember that? Six people were on board the plane. Three of them landed in Austin on their bare asses. Now, according to six people on the plane, according to the police,

five survivors were taken to the hospital in stable condition. Two men, one arm with a sledgehammer and the other with a shovel, use the tools to strike the cockpit glass, try to part. I opened the plane's door. The aircraft was identified as a net jets operated Cessna Citation latitude. It's a long name, probably built in California, that departed San Jose Del Cabo, Mexico, around 6.18 p.m. local time was headed for Austin before diverting towards Laredo, according to flight radar 2.4. The crash happened on Loop 20 near the U.S. Mexico border after the airport tower reported a private aircraft had a mechanical issue and lost contact with

the plane. Police said the aircraft came down on the highway like a ton of bird shit on a other thing. Make something funny. And struck a moving car, shutting down traffic in both directions and scattering debris across multiple lanes. Regrettably and tragically

there was one to cease involved in the crap. Boy, reporters, you almost got it right. You almost got it right. Because everybody that read that me, Dahl, everybody else is going, so who was the one, the guy in the car? Oh, was it one? On the the pilot?

Could you finish it? And don't tell me you don't know because you know every other fucking detail. I'm guessing the guy in the car. And if it was, why wouldn't you fucking mention that? It makes it a better story. You're like, yeah, he died. No.

I'm just saying, right? You know my rule. It doesn't apply here. But anytime you guys report on somebody dying that I want, if you don't know how, I don't want to hear about it. You know how everything now is cause not knowing it because it's all fucking lies.

Especially when a healthy one goes. We know why. Let's move on. There are white niggers. I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time. And I race the reverses. That's what I was just going to say. And I reversed the races tonight.

The Florida couple at the center of an IVF, you know, in vitalization. In vitally. Mix up have vowed to remain the baby girl's permanent parents after hammering out an agreement with her biological parents. It's amazing, isn't it? I mean, just there you're going. Those are good people, but you have no idea how good these people are.

I would have handled it differently. Let's put it that way. Tiffany Score, which is the best name for a stripper I have ever heard, or a pawn star. Tiffany Score is the woman's name. And Stephen Mills have confirmed the identities of the genetic parents of this six-month-old daughter, Shea. First thing I'm doing, obviously they fucked up the, you know,

you know who I'm calling? Russell Wilson. Fucking kid looks just like, Ah, Russell, put that one in there, Dallas. I like that one. And have come to mutually devised custody agreement with them.

According to court papers filed in. Where else? Orange County. Score? God, I love that name. And Mills sued the fertility center of Orlando. It's head,

reproductive endocrinologist Dr. Milton McNichael in January for allegedly implanting the wrong embryo in April of 2025, a fact the hopeful mom to be only discovered after giving birth. Can you imagine? You're the dad and your wife and little fucking, what's his name comes out? No, the other reference I can't that I already didn't. What's his name? Wilson? What's his first name? Can you imagine though you're the dad? Bitch. She's like, not my fault. You gave me tickets to the NBA All-Star.

Non-Caucasian. Why do you just say it? Non-Caucasian. Instead of staying dead, unlived. DNA testing confirmed Shea was not genetically related. Well, thank you for connecting the dots. Fucking detective. Excuse me, ma'am.

It was not genetically related. to them. What might you say that? She was 100% South Asian, but the couple loved her, which to me is amazing. Now, I made this a reverse the races because let's change the races. The couple is black. The baby comes out white. Are they keeping it? No. They're punting it over the shrubs behind their house into a dumpster. Yeah, I said it. Yes, I said it. Unless, if they did keep the white baby, it would be for bargaining chip. you know what I mean on the market they get the highest value

you know why they're not retarded oh that's racist suck it score and mills are keeping the details of the custody deal with Shea's genetic parents private oh my god I don't think we're getting the whole story but that is great

that is seriously and like Dallas said she carried the thing for nine months you know women are like that they get connected to shit easy Except for when they date me when I was young. After about a month, they're like, enough of this shit already. The fucking even, look at the guy. Yeah, you did.

I've got to continue as the permanent custodial parents of the dog, which is great. Honest of God, Tiffany scores. Look at even the baby's like, get them tits out. I'm starving. He's in my moment. I like, no, hip, too. Scores and Mills lawyer, Jack Scadaola.

Oh, my God. Jack Scadola. You understand, Skadol? That's greens that you eat. Escaro, an Italian, but Italian Jews it when they're talking about money. Skato. Fucking lawyer. And his clients are committed to respecting the privacy of Shea's genetic parents.

Why? Make a show out of it. Call it two and a half minorities. Even the baby's going, are you my mother? Look at fucking eyes are wide open. They have begun and intend to continue to foster a relationship of friendship and trust. I wouldn't because that's when it backfires. You're going to stay in touch with them?

and all of a sudden the woman's like, I want my baby back. And that has happened, by the way. I'd fucking go, listen. I'm sure they signed all the off, but that doesn't matter in today's world. I'm out of there. Scores and Mills also inform the judge that chose a new medical center to handle any future IVF where the embryo...

They choose a new one. They don't want to use the same one? And they said, which one did you choose? They go, well, we didn't. The guy at the dollar store does shit in his van at night. And he said he can take care of the next one. That embryo will be tested for parentage. And then they will determine next steps.

Yeah, I bet it will. The couple had three embryos frozen. One of them got lost behind the Lego my Eggos in the freezer. And with the Longwood-based clinic in 2020, the first was implanted and ended with score miscarrying. The clinic had another embryo, and it was unclear what happened to the third one. somebody thinks Don Lemon broke in and swallowed it.

Good night, everybody. The Fertility Clinic of Orlando previously said after thoughtful consideration, it would shudder by May 20th. Talk about admitting you fucked up. The guy's like, you know what? I got to be honest with you. I enjoyed roofing more than this. I dabbled in this, but I was better at roofing. All right, let's go.

Everybody knows you never go full retard. Not everybody. As Los Angeles grapples with budget problems, a new report warns that the cities, I'd love this story so much, the city zoo, the LA Zoo may be heading toward a crisis of its own as membership withers and costs balloon. A Los Angeles County civil grand jury has concluded that the LA Zoo cannot continue operating as it does today, finding that deterioration. facilities, declining membership, and financial strain have put the future on the city run, again, operative words, city run attraction in doubt. That's how fucked up things are in Los Angeles. Even the hippos and zebras are like, let's get the fuck out of here.

The report paints a troubling picture. Listen to this. If this isn't everything that's wrong with California, especially California. but liberals, left-wing Democrats in general. They hate capitalism because they don't know how to do it, number one. Number two, well, I'm going to read the levels of bureaucracy, and then I go, the report paints a troubling picture of an institution that has fallen behind while being managed through a sprawling bureaucracy.

No. A city government agency, not working. Even the animals are letting the staff know how they feel about the place. Was it a hippo that was pissed off? Watch this. They asked them, how do you feel about where you live? Nothing beats a jet two holiday. And right now, you can save 50 pounds per person.

That's 200 pounds off for a. Can you open that, Dallas? No. Make it bigger? No? Yeah, go ahead. There you go. Nothing beats a jet two holiday.

And right now, you can save 50 pounds per person. That's 200 pounds off for a. ruins it. I'd rather swallow the other shit. Unlike most major zoos in the United States, Los Angeles has to have a diverse one. They have a Chinese elephant.

The Los Angeles Zoo remains fully operated by the city. You hear that? By who? Is it privately? No, the city. Requiring, you can write them down, requiring oversight and involvement from the zoo commission, there's a level,

neighborhood councils, the city attorney, city controller, multiple city departments, who knows how many of those, the mayor and the city council. This seven or eight, probably 15 layers of bureaucracy. Let me explain that to you, folks. See, that's all this is about and why they hate Trump and the right in general, because we believe in capitalism. It's only the greatest form of government there is.

They hate it. and the only reason they want to win and try to kill Trump, it's all about power. See, if they get control of the White House, there's more and more levels of bureaucracy. It keeps them employed, keeps you guys down at the same time, sucking you drive from your tax money.

That's all this is, there's the difference. And how you fuckers, not you guys, because obviously you vote like I do, them idiots on the left, how do they fucking look at that and go, that's fine?

Just shows you they're that, fucking ignorant. Whoever's running against Bass and when I did, oh the Indian Broad I guess, she should use well she can't because she's part of it. But Spencer Pratt that his name, Spencer Pratt, he could have

fucking ran wild with this thing. According to the grand jury, that model is no longer working. Well again, thank you, Columbo. The zoo which spans 133 acres in Griffith Park and houses more than 1,600 animals has struggled to maintain its facilities while

the city faces ongoing financial pressures, including a $1 million budget shortfall this year. Membership has also dropped sharply. Oh, I remember, this is a weird, this is a non-sequit. Remember I couldn't think of the other Joe Colin told me yesterday? Guy sitting at a table, wife comes in, smashes him over the head with a cast iron skillet. He goes, what's that for? She's got a piece of paper in a hand with numbers on it. and he that's what this is for she goes he goes

that's not a phone number I was at the track those are the numbers I was betting so she apologized and leaves next day he's at breakfast again she comes and hits him again with the same pan over there he's like what the fuck was that for his wife goes your horse called street jokes great joke uh the report found that membership fell from 36,000 see I had to tell you guys that before I forgot that's the world I live in I have post-its on my chest when I wake up. The report found that memberships fell from 36,914 in April of 2025 to 28,000 in February, 26.

A loss of 8,474 members are 23% less than a year before. Simply stated to keep these important educational institutions afloat, almost all zoos across the U.S. have turned to what, folks? What have they turned to? Public-private partnerships. the civil grand jury wrote. See, even the people get it. This is a perfect example

of everything that's wrong. And you guys know what the terms conservative and liberal, you know what they mean, right? Conservative as in small government. Liberal as as much government is, but that's, you're getting to the root cause. And it's so obvious which one works better?

Un fucking real. The recommendation comes as the city remains locked in a legal dispute with greater LA Zoo Association or Glaza over a $50 million endowment. On friggin' real. Take a look of this. Oh, gosh, movie. Oh, my God, let me get it.

Is that again? All boss for me. Pretty sure that's AI, but if it isn't it, we'll have him on the show. Oh, my God. I'm not hilarious, folks. Oh, stop it. Finding tonight on your sister's back here is getting in my salad. Whoops.

I don't know. A lot of hate for Nate. I brought this up earlier in the introduction to the show. Many on the left, there you go. furious with popular comedian Nate Bargatsi, Italian from Tennessee. Gotta love it. For what he did on Sunday. What did he do?

Do you punch a baby in their face, killer rabbit? No. Like thousands of others, Bargazzi attended the UFC event at the White House. Oh my God. What an asshole, huh? Where he snapped a photo with Robert Kennedy Jr., who I love, the head of the Health and Human Services Department. and Ann Kennedy's wife, Cheryl Hines, of you know what fame, curb your enthusiasm,

at the celebration of America's 250th anniversary. I told you about it yesterday. It went off without a hitch. It was unbelievably successful. The event angered many on the left because they just hateful, envious losers in life. And they misdirect their anger through politics and you. And time to kill them. I'm kidding.

I wouldn't kill them. just torture them in front of their children. The event angered many on the left who accused President Trump of not respecting the sanctity of the White House as well as the national... You know, the sanctity White House, where Bill Clinton was getting his taint licked while he was on a phone call under his desk,

you know, where Joe Biden dropped shit all over the rug in the Oval Office every three minutes, where Hunter Biden left a bag of eight-ball, you know, that's sanctity, sanctity. Well, first off, none of these people give a fuck about the sanctity of anything. by this country. That's absolutely true.

They're just filthy, rotten people who deserve all types of cancer and third-degree burns. The event which coincided with the Trump's birthday included several USC fights, a military flyover, and a bald eagle

in the form of Jerry Nadler. A spokesperson for Bagazzi released a statement about his attendance at the event. Now, this is a guy speaking for Nate. And it's so true. Nate is a family-friendly entertainment first, they meant to say.

The representative said in an email to Huffin' Post. He is not political, nor is anything he produces. He's also a huge UFC fan and has been since before it became political. Who do you think makes everything political, folks? The left, because they don't have a life.

That's all they have. Many on the left were outraged and expressed their fury on social media. Who gives a fuck what you think? I want you to think about this. You're a fan. You guys are like me. You're a fan of a comedian.

You love him. You find out, I find out, or whatever, you'll find out he went to a party at Mark Ruffalo's house. So you're not a fan anymore. After loving his comedy for 10, 15 years. Let that sink in that mentality. How retarded you have to be? Maganazi. Okay, that's the clever name that the lefts came up with online.

Magnazzi Bargazzi. I, excuse me, I used to enjoy Chick-fil-A and then I learned, listen to this. Listen to this virtue signaling piece of shit. I used to enjoy chick filets making an analogy. And then I learned the owners are bigots. And I haven't eaten there in 25 years. Well, good. You deprived you some of something that you loved.

And they're not bigots, by the way. That was proven. They hired gay people. They served gay people. Somebody that one of the owners contributed to something that was a pro-marriage association. So that makes him a bigot. so you deprived yourself shithead of 25 years

of delicious chicken sandwiches so I haven't eaten there in 25 years responded failed Democrat congressional candidate Mo Davis is that Mo you get it get upstairs looks like Nate's dad

got the same look excuse me I used to enjoy at here's another one I used to enjoy at Nate Gargarty but then I learned that he thinks fascism is funny. I miss Chick-fil-A every now and then.

Oh, it's the same guy. I'm sorry, just a long-winded douchebag. Can you fucking imagine? He added, is this whole thing? Colin Trump and a fascist? They don't even know what fascism is. Noah Goldberg wrote a book called liberal fascism, or liberal fascist.

I can't remember, which I read, which is very good. Then I met him in the green room in Gutfeld, and I said, I really loved your book. And he goes, who are you? And I said, never mind. I've hated him since. Almost made me a Democrat. Anyways, I used to think, man, the guy says, I used to think Nate pretended to be an idiot for his act. Apparently he's not pretending.

You guys are just, I can't wait for the gloves to drop. I don't give a fuck. I could never figure out how to properly pronounce Bargazzi's last name. He mentioned not being sure himself. Today I know it rhymes with Nazi, replied another unfunny fuck staying from the left. I'd love to that guy past tense. I generally don't do boycotts, but I'm done with him. It's 2026.

If you don't know who the Nazis are yet, I don't need to hear any more from you responded. Political columnist Seth Abranson, little Jew who was beat up all the time in gym class. as David Telt brilliantly said we are the chosen people or is in gym class the last chosen one of the best Jew jokes ever look at this guy you can you can picture the

and you know again I'm pro-Israel so you don't bust my ball he's this close like the orthodox I can picture the hat and like right probably molesting somebody anyways can you imagine living your life like that folks oh my God

Clint Eastwood made a movie with Bet Midler. Never got to watch his shit again. You guys are just empty inside. You're filled with bile and envy. And God, I hope you die young. Very young. That is it.

Watch me die tonight in my sleep. Update on the plane crash. Who died? Go ahead. Josh Bear. Oh, not Josh. No. I actually met him.

You're kidding, right? And not. You're kidding me. He's a founder of the startup capital factory in Austin, Texas. Oh, you lived in Austin? And I worked for a group. And you met Josh? Was he in the car, Dallas?

Please tell me. No, he was in the plane. He was in the plane. Thank you. Well done, producer. No shit. Sorry to hear that. Of course.

Capitalist. I want to know what happened. A guy in a plane. Knock the rear view. Knock the side of your mirror off. That's it. Unbelievable. rest of peace, Phil.

That is it. Don't forget cameo.com if you want me to, you know, throw a shoe jabs, quick roast of a friend or relative, or say happy birthday to mom, go to cameo.com. That is it.

Do you guys think it? I'll say it. You're most welcome. We will see you tomorrow for the final day of the week. Me and Dallas always smile when we say that. Like we work in coal mines for a living. We'll see you. Yeah, we'll see you the same time tomorrow. Have a good rest of the day, everybody. Love you.

Hi. Good night, everybody. If you've ever wondered what combat actually feels like, not the headlines, not the movies, but what it was like to be there. This is combat story. I'm A.J. Peschuti, a retired force recon Marine and scout sniper, and this show is for anyone who wants to understand the human side of war through the people that lived it. I sit down with veterans from across generations and special operators, pilots, infantry, law enforcement, and everyone in between, and we talk about the moments that stayed with them, the missions that went right, and the ones that didn't, and what it costs during and after. There's no script and no agenda, just real conversations between two people who've walked similar paths.

We're not here to create content. We're here to provide context. So whether you've worn the uniform or just want to understand those who have, watch, listen, and follow us wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Combat Story.