The Nick DiPaolo Show - Lawless & Orderless | Nick Di Paolo Show #1439

Episode Date: August 3, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Vivek making good points, Trumps impeachment illegitimate and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Wow! Da da da da da da da da Guy comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife. I guess I'll have to spread my legs now, she says. Why, he asks. Don't you have a vase? I love the perfect grammar. Why, he asks. Why, comma, he asks.

Exactly. He's a great actor. Oh, that fucking kills me. How are you, folks? Final day of the week here. A Thursday. Next week, Jimmy Florentine, beginning of the week. Very funny comic, a buddy of mine.

I call him Mr. New Jersey because he's just a Jersey guy. I'm not kidding. He might be the nicest guy I met in this business. Always complimentary. That's all you have to do to make me like you is compliment me. Shallow as a motherfucker. Anyways, yeah, so great sit down with him.

What the hell else on the scale today? 203.4. I haven't been to 203 anything. Do you understand, folks? I don't understand. I ate a big steak last night. What the fuck else did I eat? About a half a thing of hummus. I was expecting. And I didn't go to the bathroom before I stepped on the scale. So I figure, like Dallas said, that's another seven pounds. When I go, I mean, I'll chip. All right, I'm going to get gross.

I'm excited, though, because I'm not starving myself. I am being more active. I will go for a walk on the days that I'm not working, whatever the fuck. But I'm fucking thrilled right now. I mean, 61, and I haven't been near 200 pounds in, I don't know when. When I see 199, I will send a, I'm going to make a, you know, a video. It'll go viral, me yanking it as I stand on the scale maker. You'll be disappointed.

Anyways, socks, sucked a big one last night. They're up, fuck, again, up five to three in the eighth or whatever the fuck no what am i saying they're up three to fucking at one point three nothing then three one they end up losing six three bullpen some guy came in for the socks who's usually good and he stunk it up and you know what they've been carrying us so you can't really but that's two series we've dropped on this road trip. Motherbots. I know you guys don't care, but... 24 days to college football.

Oh, goodness gracious, Heloise. That's just what I need. Watch me blow up to 250. Nebraska's on. Hey, Dallas, come over. I got 40 fucking cans of Coors I can't touch. I know. Me and Dallas have the't touch. I know. Me and Dallas have the same feeling.

I love the fall so much. And you say college football. Obviously, that's my favorite too. But when you say that, you know what that means? When they start their shit? NHL, about a week later, starts training camp. And it all goes by too fast. When you get to be my age, you're like, yeah, it's here, but it's going to be gone in a blink.

It's fucking weird. It's like a little kid for Christmas. I'm gay. I'm coming out right now. Anyways, let's get on to the goddamn show. My boy Vivek Ramaswamy, who I say, I'm making a prediction, if he's in the debates, which I think he's going to be, he's going to open a ton of eyes. if he's in the debates, which I think he's gonna be, he's gonna open a ton of eyes. If people are, I'm not saying he's gonna, you know, outdo Trump as far as votes and shit, because Trump is like, they're making him a fucking martyr. But

this guy is so goddamn smart and truly like thinks like us, you know? I really, I'm a big fan. Sent the guy 25 bucks. Sends me back a recipe for chili. He's Indian. What the fuck? Anyways, he defended Trump. My boy Vivek Ramaswamy joined Alex Stein. We had Alex on the show, by the way. We should reshow that one, too. That was a good interview. He mixes it up. He's a good guy. To discuss latest indictments against Trump, here is some of what he had to say. I got about a minute and a half or two minutes of him. We'll watch it and then I'll give you my opinion.

Now our next guest is an entrepreneur, Republican presidential candidate, and accomplished rapper. Please welcome on Vivek Ramaswamy. The audience doesn't even get it. How you doing? Conservative audience. Okay, so Trump's getting indicted. What the heck's going on?

I know you have a short time, so let's try to be succinct. We have some questions, but what the heck? Is he going to be busted? I mean, January 6th, we know that there was agent provocateurs. We know that there was a bunch of weird stuff going on. What's going to happen, in your opinion? No, no, no. I think they are going after him one way or another,

like an immune system goes after a virus they're just not stopping now this indictment like the prior ones is politicized it reeks of politicization because yes sir they're using novel legal theories and here's my general rule of thumb in the united states of america if you're gonna go full full third world, if you're going to go full banana republic on this and indict a political opponent in the middle of an election who's also a former U.S. president, it better darn well be a cut and dry legal case, not using some unprecedented legal theory. And yet this is an unprecedented legal theory for two reasons. Yes, sir. There's a Supreme Court case called Alvarez in 2012. Alvarez, that guy. That expressly says a candidate for elected office can make statements that are false or inaccurate. Yet that's at the heart of what this indictment's all about.

And the other thing is, notice who the four co-conspirators are. Four of them are lawyers. So this sets up a really dangerous precedent for the american legal system to say that if you're a lawyer and you're offering legal advice but it's something that a court later believes or a prosecutor believes was a legal theory they don't agree with right then you are now criminally liable too that's actually the part that no one has talked about yet, but that worries me deeply. Will it fuck up the legal system? Yes, sir. See how he always has a different take on it? And he's right. I mean, this is pure Orwellian. You can't prove that Trump didn't believe that he won. That he didn't win, I should say. You can't prove that. You have every right. And again, I'm already tired of the argument.

The story's been out, what, two days this week? Fucking Hillary and the Russian collusion and the pee tape, that wasn't all about obstructing a fucking, whatever they say, obstructing whatever a fucking political, you know, I should look up the words, but you know what I'm talking about.

In other words, they didn't accept the win either. And they went out of their way to almost throw Trump. Then they impeached him. All that shit. I should look up the words, but you know what I'm talking about. In other words, they didn't accept the win either. And they went out of their way to almost throw Trump. Then they impeached him. All that shit. It's insane. But this isn't just about that. It is very much about setting a precedent so they can continue to do it.

Well, yeah, absolutely. Every time they do something like that, even when they impeached them, you can say that. It's the machine against a man. If you read 1984, if you haven't, what the fuck? That's all it is. You go in the future, you go against their narrative in this country, and you could be jailed. It's already fucking happening in the UK. They put comedians in jail for

i mean you gotta be shitting me and and you gotta i would think america even the people who dislike trump or people who are on the fence about this how do you not rally behind him you know i mean how do you fucking vote them? Then you put on MSNBC, CNN, I'm flipping to, and they are, at least CNN is coming out a little. MSNBC has 19 people on the screen saying January 6th, they're literally saying worse than Pearl Harbor, worse than 9-11.

They're dead serious. He's a terrorist. They can't believe that. They can't. They're fucking, if they they do they're evil and stupid dangerous combination with no mention of the whole biden thing no mention that's right all this against the backdrop of biden and his stupid son being exposed for pure treason no No less than treason. They time it. They fucking time it.

Right after Devin Archer gave his shit, they come down with the indictments the next day. It's almost like they're rubbing their noses in it. You know what I mean? They fucking know how to... They're very well organized when framing people. And like Trump said, they're not coming after me, they're coming after you,

meaning the average American. So wake the fuck up. God help us. But Vivek, I'm telling you, man, he's going to open some eyes during the debate. Makes a nice appearance. Indian guy, but he smells clean and can talk,

as Biden said about Obama. Wrong on both parts. What? Oh, cut it out. I'm just busting your balls. Hey, in the second half of the show, I'm going to be talking about a female cop on administrative leave. Why? For doing her job.

When you see the video, you won't believe it. And it's interesting what she tried to do. And Chicago's current mayor, believe it or not, actually has Chicagoans missing Lori Lightfoot. That's how fucking radical this jerk-off is. You won't believe what he had to say to the press. Exclusively on Mug Club. So join now to get it at nickdip.com. Guys, are you ready to boost your testosterone

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Click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. Donald Trump impeachment illegitimate. Who says that? David Marcus, political journalist, says Trump's impeachment must be expunged after Devon Archer's testimony. And that made, right when I read the headline, I go, that makes perfect sense. I had to Google this guy. And of course, there's 19 David Marcuses that write about stuff like, well, some of them. That's him. Dallas confirmed

it. Richard Belzer, lookalike. It was always a lie and it needs to be untold. He's talking about the first impeachment. The first impeachment of Donald Trump hinged on one and only one premise. The president of the United States had no legitimate reason to ask Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky to investigate the gas company Burisma and did so only for personal political gain. That's what they said Trump's motive was. After Hunter Biden and Associate Devon Archer's bombshell testimony this week, this allegation has not just been debunked, it has been utterly obliterated. So what did we learn? First, Archer confirms Hunter was only scoring 80 grand a month from Burisma

because he was selling the illusion of influence over his father. Let's be more generous than Mother Teresa and imagine that's true, that it was just an illusion. If Burisma thought it had bought off former Vice President Joe Biden, isn't that maybe worth looking into? But it gets worse. Archer also let slip that indeed Burisma had specifically asked Hunter to assist in the firing of prosecutor Victor Shokin, who was investigating the gas concern and to take up the matter with D.C. Hmm. Who in D.C. might they have been referring to, do you think? Huh? Exactly.

Here's a picture of Patton Oswalt in about 20 years. And what do you know? Not long after, in a tale told by Biden himself in 2018, remember on video him bragging, he got the prosecutor fired in a scene that, as he described it, could have come straight out of the Godfather. So let's connect these dots that don't appear to be in dispute. Burisma thought it was bribing Joe Biden through his son. They paid that son millions of dollars, and then Joe Biden did exactly what they wanted him to do. Okay?

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Even if this was just a happy accident for the Bidens that Joe doing the right thing in regard to Shoken serendipitously also made his kid rich, it is obviously a legitimate target of investigation. As such, the first impeachment so gravely conducted by the Democrats in the House of Reps must be expunged. How can you argue with that? That's just logic. They were saying Trump was doing for personal gain. He had no reason to make that. Remember the perfect phone call, wasn't it?

Was that the perfect call? It's the perfect call. I had a bit about it. I said that's not the perfect phone call. Perfect phone calls. Your phone rings and it's a you know, it's fucking Jennifer Aniston saying I'm a mile from your house with a bucket of fucking Cialis. Buckle up faggot. That's the perfect phone call. But he makes a great point, right? After Devin Archer spilled those beans, it shows how full of shit everybody is on that.

Have you ever seen a guy get crucified more? And he's doing it on by, he's almost like Jesus. Maybe we should thank him for his ego. You know what I'm saying? He's going to die on the cross. Not for our sins. What do we do? We pay taxes. Fuck you. Those goddamn people that tip over the money tables. You know what I'm talking about. That's right. The Greek and the Roman. It's an episode, Dallas, and it's an episode in The Sopranos where Tony and Polly and Silvio are beating the shit out of this Hasidic guy. And he won't give up what they want, you know?

And the Hasidic Jew goes into this whole story. Do you remember back in the, there was 800 Romans surrounding like 10 Jewish people in a village and they held them off for eight days. And he goes, where are those Romans now? Tony goes, you're fucking looking at them. How good a show. Oh my God.

But they're right, man. It is is i'm sure they'll get right on that we're talking unbelievable and like a lot of people saying this is about bankrupting trump obviously he's already spent hundreds of millions of friggin dollars um god help us i know people are raising money and shit but do you understand let? Let me remind you of this too, one more time. He was retired with zillions of dollars in a bank. Could have been gone for the rest of his life. Doesn't that count for anything? Nobody even brings that up anymore.

Look what he's going through now. They're threatening to die in prison. Anyways, thank you, Mr. Trump. I think we owe you one. And the more they pile the shit on him, the more galvanized, hopefully. I hope some other Americans will wake up to the fact. I don't know. Pretty stupid out there. Hey, for those of you on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of this show. Everyone else go to nickdip.com and join to get my full show and Steven Crowder's full show and a whole

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