The Nick DiPaolo Show - Mass Shooter Mentally Ill | Nick Di Paolo Show #1234

Episode Date: July 5, 2022

Chicago shooter caught. Ilhan booed by Somalis. 100 year old WWII vet sad about country. 4th of July premiere. Gay man fired for not working.

🎵 Hey, here's Nick. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you very much. It's so hot today. How hot is it? It's so hot, I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking. How are you, folks? Welcome to a silly Tuesday.

How you is? How was your week? And how was your fourth? Pretty good? Pretty good? Did you read all the celebrities and left-wingers shitting on the holiday, saying it's not legit and stuff? Boy, I can't wait to kill one of these motherfuckers. Oh, what am I doing?

I can talk like this. You're just going to pick the funny parts? Right? Right. I want to like this. You're just going to pick the funny parts. Right? Right. I want to choke these. I'm tired. I really... Stabbing Rob Reiner to death would be... I used to fantasize about fucking Pam Anderson.

I would get way more joy. I would cum in my pants if I could stab him, not to death, so he's hanging on by a thread. And then I suffocated by taking a dump in his mouth. Hi. Thought I'd start with the opening shit anyways uh thank you guys for watching I also want to thank those of you who joined up on Patreon over the weekend the best way to support the show is by subscribing monthly through Patreon or the Comics Gym where you'll get the exclusive Encore episode each day. We've got a great Encore show today

about, I think, some mothers in Long Island showed up at a prom and of course it went the way you'd think it would. That only goes for the people who belong to sign up on the monthly basis. Subscribe now to see it and to support the show. And again, thank you guys so,

so much. Anyways, had a great weekend. Went to New York on Thursday. Premiere at the Beacon Theater, which is a legendary theater. And 2,000 people sold out. Louis C.K. can still sell tickets. It was the premiere.

First time anybody had seen the movie in the country. And Joe List was tremendous. This is a kid that opened for me. I take credit for finding him. I always do, too much. But he's just grown up before my eyes like a kid. And he was the main guy in the film.

And he was terrific. And I had a decent-sized part, of course. I fucking knocked it out of the park. I'm telling you and then uh we did a Q&A after which was the funnest part the whole panel's out there we have mics and me and Bobby Keller you know busting balls and getting big laughs and and then we did the same thing next night in Boston again sold out again Louis CK is a force that can't be stopped and um it was just uh it was it was um to see all those people again was just tremendous because we did this last august or whatever september and uh everybody

really did a phenomenal job and friggin louis and he's out there being funny him and joe went out first and and they were both funny but louis just's just so relaxed. Can you imagine being the best stand-up? And he is. He's the best stand-up out there and one of the best ever. He's just a little hobby. He makes films. He makes it look too easy. I can't write a pamphlet. I can't take this shit no more. He makes it look too easy. I can't write a pamphlet. I can't take this shit no more. We'll get to that later, by the way.

I got pictures and clips. So let's get to... I am so sick. I am sick. Bullets rain on parade. I'm tired of it. I'm not tired of the way Joe Biden is in the... I'm just tired of talking about it. This is more proof to the idiot left,

because this happened in Illinois, which has more gun control laws than anybody, that none of your stinky laws are going to stop this. It's the person. And they'll say just the opposite. It proved that. We get all those gun laws in Illinois, but there's so many guns that you can't. It's 330 million people, and it starts with the person.

Did you see this guy? We'll show you in a second. Does he look normal? You're going to tell me it's the gun? You're just evil. Between shitting on the 4th of July and your dog shit gun control, you're the most anti-American. Go to fucking Canada.

That's where you really blow. All of yous. I'm sorry I swore at you but unbelievable a person of interest has been identified in Monday's deadly mass shooting at a 4th July parade outside Chicago well they have him by now officials said he was 22 year old

Robert Bobby E Cremo the third oh my god there's three of them and he's believed to he was driving a Cremo III. Oh my God, there's three of them. And he's believed to, he was driving a, this is all, driving a 2010 Silver Honda. Look at this guy.

Do you see what I'm saying? Do you see what I'm saying about this? Look at him. He looks like Adam Lanza who shot up Newtown. Remember? He was autistic, but he had the same creepy face. The gunman opened fire with a high-powered rifle

while standing on a roof just minutes after the parade began in the tony suburb of Highland Park where six people were left dead. It was actually 31 or 34 people injured. The killer was very military style, methodical in the way he was crouched and shooting, an attendee told the TV station. Investigators found a rifle at the scene that is believed to have been used in the massacre. Jeff Leone, 57, told CNN the shot sounded like firecrackers, which they always do, and on the 4th of July, it's even more dangerous, and that he initially assumed the noise was part

of the parade, which is natural. The police started reacting, and I saw some people falling. He said chaotic footage showed frantic parade goers, some of them bloodied, running for their lives as the gunfire exploded. Take a look. This is so... Go ahead. They'll show this. You know what's weird about other than the music, what's weird about that?

It has a very, a very, Born on the Fourth of July. Remember they showed the parade at the beginning, small town, whatever, and kind of Jaws. You know, Fourth of July, people running from the shot. It's very, that looks like a beginning of an Oliver Stone movie or whatever. Kind of creepy. Leon said people began ducking behind cars to stay out of the line of fire. The Chicago Sun Times quoted Highland Park resident Miles Zermanski. I heard 20 to 25 shots, which were in rapid succession, Zermanski said. So it couldn't have been just a handgun or a shotgun. In this clip, you could actually hear the gunshots in the background.

Listen. I can't believe I actually recorded that. Do you hear the kid? How excited because he recorded it? Do you see part of the... He should be running for his life. He can't believe he recorded it. That's... Anyways.

Parade goer Alexander Sandoval said, we saw the Navy's marchers and float pass by, and when I first heard the gunshots, I thought it was them saluting the flag and shooting blanks, but then I saw people starting to run, and the shots kept going. We started running. Another witness told CNN that she hid in the basement

of a sporting goods store and saw several injured victims scurrying around the scene in a bloody daze. Investigators found a rifle at the scene that is believed to have been used in the massacre. So again, it's Bobby Cremo III. Here's a little more background information on him. He's known as Awake the Rapper online. Just to fucking... He was taken into custody Monday shortly after the FBI agents visited his family's home in Highwood

about a mile from the scene of the shooting. Jesus. An IMDB page under Cremo's name identifies him as a rapper-singer before you want to just call him a crazy white boy, and songwriter and actor and director. Oh, really? What are you directing, snuff films?

From the Chicago area. The Page boasts one of his songs released in 2018 amassed millions of plays so far across online streaming platforms. I'll have to check to probably lie about that. The hip-hop phenomena is mostly known for his hit song, On My Mind, which I'll have to check. They're probably lying about that. The hip-hop phenomenon is mostly known for his hit song, On My Mind, which I played at my wedding. Hey, how'd the job interview go, shithead?

Look at this. He's dressed like Rodney Dangerfield coming out of an IBM. Ooh, I'll tell you. They didn't like the tattoos on my face. You get no respect. You don't respect at all. On My Mind, which was released October 8, 2018.

You know, and I'm being a hypocrite now because I'm in favor of giving these guys no fucking ink because that's why the copycats come out. You make them famous. But how do you not talk about people getting gunned down in the United States of America in 2022 on the 4th of July? The track has amassed millions of players

across online streaming, whatever. Cremo had posted a video to his since-deleted YouTube page that included a drawing of someone who appeared to have been shot dead by police. Screenshots posted online indicated, okay? Get out of my room, you sick cunt. He released a music video titled

Are You Awake? In October 2021, that included drawings of a man aiming a rifle at a person. The video also showed an image of a newspaper clipping about Harvey, about Lee Harvey Oswald, who shot and killed President Kennedy. And another image that shows a drawing with blood spurting from a person's butt. So it's not like he didn't send up any red flags once again. I don't know who's supposed to be monitoring the nuts and shit, but like I said, I can't blame them because it's impossible to.

Unless you cheat the government out of taxes and then they'll catch you on a bank camera and come to your house. Or if you just say the wrong thing on YouTube or Twitter. That's all. Watch out because I'm... Look at this idiot. Cocoa pop, cocoa pop, cocoa pop, cocoa pop, cocoa pop. Oh, was he bullied?

The most viewed on his YouTube channel is a music video on my mind that shows him in the classroom, blah, blah, blah. And the video of Cremo's scene reaching into a backpack, here you go, before the screen goes black. Once the music returns, it's filled with maniacal laughter, fast-paced piano music,

and drum beats with Cremo wearing a helmet and bulletproof vest. Again, it's not like he sent up any flags. I'm crazy. Check this this video the video then shows a classroom ransacked with cremo uh smiling yeah exactly a piece of shit so anyways we gave him more than his due but i mean for the love of god and you people who are gun control friggin' nuts, how do you, really? So take the guns, and by the way, you're not even taking them away from people like that. You're taking them

away from people like me and Dallas and, I don't know, how many millions of NRA members? Who aren't killing people? Who don't kill people. But that's who you're going to go after. So if you guys can't figure out what the government's real, I hate to go, because you're going to call me a tinfoil hat. What is this, the third one of these we've had? Or fourth one in the last couple months as the election approaches? I can't prove it. I know I can't prove it.

But don't tell me that you believe your government isn't capable of doing this stuff. That's all I'm going to ask you, people on the left who hate the government. You're going to tell me they're not, well, you love them now, I guess. You're going to tell me they're not capable of doing something that's evil. I don't know how. They can rattle and radicalize people. I don't know. I want to say one last thing about the shooting story before I go. You know the theory I have, you guys have heard me say on the show, about young, good-looking girls that find any excuse, and it doesn't bother any guy, obviously,

but to take a selfie and put it on the Internet. I don't care if it's a girl in a bikini at the beach or whatever, somebody in a low-cut shirt at a bar. They always take a selfie if they have even a slightly, and they use it as an excuse. You know, they're at the shooting range. For some reason, they're in a bra, that type of crap. But here's the survivor of the shooting.

I'm not making fun of her. I'm just saying, this is her selfie to show her. I mean, let me ask you a question. OK, maybe I'm a perverted old man. But the first thing I think of when I see that, you know, and I'm saying. I think you could have showed that with a shirt laying on a bed or on a chair or something. I just wanted to point that out, that I know this world better than most people. And people go, oh, your theories are crazy. Baloney. If I was her and I had a chest like that, I'm doing the same thing. I'm just saying. Girls, you're really funny.

Showing us your boobies and using a mass shooting to do it. I don't know. They call men shallow. All right. Anyways, I got to take... The coffee's making me crazy. Guys, please take a moment and click the share button to share today's episode with a friend or coworker.

Nothing helps the show grow as much as word of mouth. And I thank all of you who have continued to let people know about us. We're actually growing now that we have people focused on the marketing. I knew it wasn't the product. You know what I'm saying, folks? But anyways, let's move on, shall we? Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich.

And shut up and make me a falafel tonight far left rep ilhan omar democrat minute welcome to america you scum look at that oh boy just just a couple more raps around the face uh anyway she was met by a chorus of boos and calls to get the fuck out when she appeared on stage at a music festival in Minneapolis over the weekend. Video from Saturday night's event featuring Somali singer Saldan Sirara, I got all her old stuff, showed Omar, the first Somali American elected to Congress, I say seems appointed, walk onto the stage with her husband, Tim Minet, who is a dope. The crowd at the Target Center promptly unleashed a torrent

of boos that would have made Joe Biden blush. Lasted for more than a minute. I want you to watch a clip and see how she keeps a smile. You know she's dying inside of embarrassment, but she just keeps smiling like the mama look that she is. Go ahead. This is a Somali audience, by the way, mostly. That's what it said. Thank you. Thank you, thank you.

Please, please. In front of her own people. They love the country more than she ever, and they know it. Can you imagine it? She's a malignant cunt. Yes, that was my point. Others in the mostly Somali audience, that's what's killing me.

First of all, shouted, get out, and some yelled, get the fuck out. It sounds much nicer in Farsi. See that? Look at the sweat coming down her neck. Omar, a member of the progressive yeast infection squad that includes Bronx and Queen Rep.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, tried to calm the unruly gathering. Okay, okay, okay. We don't have all night, Omar said. Oh, we do, though. This is America. So insult him instead. Yeah, exactly. Omar said she made a tamp it down gesture,

which I'm sure she was used to because we found her, we're at a Kenya fucking refugee camp with her hands in the video. She's trying to tamp the booze down. Video on Omar's Twitter account shows her taking the stage, but the clip is cut off 14 seconds in because that's how it's done when

you're a politician. Take it out of context, make me look good. Anyways, it's cut off 14 seconds after the booing begins. You can't handle the truth. It's unclear what sparked the outburst against Omar, but the Republican challenging the two-term incumbent suggested her comments on LGBTQ issues in opposition to the Supreme Court's recent decision to overturn Roe v. Wade played a role. In other words, those people don't agree with her far-left radical baloney.

And they're Somalis, which I guess that's not a role. In other words, those people don't agree with her far-left radical baloney. And they're Somalis, which I guess that's not a surprise. I'm just saying. She doesn't care about her constituents, is my point. This is what she gets for trading her godly conservative values for the sinful LGBTQ ones and the promiscuous abortions, somebody wrote. The jeer may also have been a response to comments Omar made during a town hall event last week, during which she said she experienced more violence in her adopted home state than in a Kenyan refugee camp. Really? Then go the hell back. You need to shut the fuck up. What a hateful little wench. Take an Uber,

and I hope it goes over an IED on I-95. For four years in the camp, I did not witness that kind of violence. What are you doing here? My first year in Minnesota, I both saw a person shot at Peavy Park. Yes, somebody who would vote Democrat, which you are. Dead on the floor three weeks after my father and I arrived in Minneapolis, the congresswoman said, June 30th.

Six months later, I watched the Minneapolis police put 38 bullets into the body of a mentally disabled Somali immigrant who didn't speak English. So you recovered from the shootings, is that what you said? Somali immigrant who didn't speak English, so you recovered from the shootings. Is that what you said? So for six years, I had the privilege of not seeing any violence until I moved to Minnesota. That's because you were in a camp. How about the rest

of fucking Kenya? You are a hateful, dumb, minority woman. Sorry. Omar, who also has a history of anti-Semitic comments, hates Jews, hates Jews, is heavily favored to win a

third term representing her district, which covers all the city of Minneapolis. Hates Jews. Oh, she does. Hates Jews. What's that? Who does she hate? Hates Jews. Hates Jews. Out of all the people, who does she hate the most? Hates Jews. Hates Jews. Out of all the people, who does she hate the most? Hates Jews. Hates Jews.

Okay, folks. And Dallas made a good point. She's heavily favored to be re-elected. How is that? We just saw her get booed by her own Somali people. Because you know why. She was appointed by somebody. Don't believe in the city elections,

the local, how we can't even believe in the national president of federal elections. So you don't think there's going to be cheating going on? By the way, she helped stuff the ballot box

for Biden on a big way. Again, how about this too? We haven't heard anything about the movie 2000 Mules. They must have crushed, they put that down, didn't they? You guys want to see the fraud up close? And sorry to bring you such a heavy show, but I'm doing the best to make it. This is called He's Right. Fourth of July is a big deal for veterans like, you know, Dallas and guys. There are still guys who fought World War II.

Do you understand? Still alive and they're watching what's happening under Biden and the people that hate this country. U.S. Marine veteran Carl Sperling Dekel, who served in WWII, celebrated his 100th birthday this week. Surrounded by his friends and family, Dekel toasted his triple-digit age while seated in a golf cart with a bear in his hand. Because that's an American. Along with his pride for his uniform, though the veteran shared a sad realization. Look at the medals on him. Can you tell Dallas, do you know what any of those are? Do you? Do you? uniform, though the veteran shared a sad realization. Look at the medals on him. Can you tell Dallas, do you know what any of those are?

Oh, yeah. Do you? Yeah. What's the, I know the star is the, he's a sheriff. It's the bronze. Bronze star. Bronze star. Yeah, with valor.

There you go. And then a lot of them underneath there are campaign medals specific to the World War II campaign itself. There you go. Okay. So anyways, this is what, it's a little hard, this is a little sad,

but I want to show you because we live in a time right now where Rob Reiner and celebrities, famous people, are trash in this country. And they needed to be reminded there's guys like this that created a nice free place for these jerk-off to live.

The things we did and the things we fought for and the boys that died for it it's all gone down the drain. Our country's gone to hell in a hand basket. Yes sir! We haven't got the country we had

when I was raised. Yes sir! Nobody will have the fun I had. Nobody will have the opportunity I had. It's just not the same. That's not what I'm going, that's not what they died for. That's just not it. I'm so sorry. The girl got down. I don't know what happened after that,

but he was very happy after. What? Anyways, wouldn't you like to see Deborah Messing or Rob Reiner, name any jerk off, Bette Midler, LeBron James. Wouldn't you like to see him sit down face to face and him say that see uh deborah messing or rob reiner didn't name any jerk off bet midler lebron james wouldn't like to see him sit down face to face and him say that and then you know and it's still disregard us because you know they're superior decal statements came the same day the united states lost the last surviving medal of honor recipient from world war ii herschel Woody Williams died Wednesday at age 98, God bless him,

surrounded by his family at a hospital named after him in his home state of West Virginia. Keep them in mind. Williams, also a U.S. Marine, received his medal for heroism from former President Harry Truman during the Battle of Iwo Jima in 1945. America's 63 Living Medal of Honor recipients honored Williams in a statement to Fox News. So keep these guys in mind because... He was the best guy around. No doubt about it. Yeah, so I just... It was heartbreaking.

A guy truly loved this country. And you spoiled scumbag leftist pigs. I wish you'd just put your money where your mouth is and get on a fucking Amtrak train to Montreal and don't come back. Thanks to everyone, folks, who ordered a cameo for me over the holiday weekend. I really like doing these things. They're kind of fun. I can be sitting on the toilet. I'll be in my car going off the road. If you want to order a personal message for me to roast your brother or

wish a happy birthday to your husband or whatever, go to Cameo and search for Nick DiPaolo or go to the link on your screen right now. When you go there, and you can see some of the other cameos I've done before you order one yourself, trigger warning, I like to talk dirty. Anyways, so yeah, do that for me, and for you. It's a good gift, actually. Jesus, glad I said that. My wife's birthday is tomorrow. Oh, my God. I don't know if she's going to get mad at me, but I got her a bunch of black buffalo.

It's a dip. Got her that and a hula hoop and a nice tuna fish sandwich I found at a snow cone station. Anyways, as you know, we're going to lighten it up right now. As you know, this past weekend, me and the wife went up to New York on Thursday night. We're on the Upper West Side, so it was actually kind of nice, believe it or not, to see people out and about. Yeah, we went up there, and the premiere of Louis C.K. and Joe List's movie, they co-wrote it together. Louis, of course, directed. And you guys know, remember, I

took a few weeks off last summer to shoot it up. Lake George. All the cast were there. Hadn't seen them since. And we showed the movie. And after they did a Q&A, so there's a bunch of people on stage. Ron Bennington, who's terrific. He's a radio guy in New York. He's done

radio forever. And he really, he's a stand-up, too, and a goddamn funny one. And he's older than I am, believe it or not. But he's so great at interviewing us, and people got to, you know, we were being kind of funny after the movie, and Louie's just in his natural. Anyway, so don't believe the reviews because, as you know, the press hates Louie because of his hashtag me too moment and they're doing anything he had to like pay for the distribution of this and he had to do all

kinds of things to go around the press because they won't let him back in and uh so almost every new york times crapped on him which is hard to believe you know they stay writing just like they always do they stay lockstep with each other. There's only a few people like in smaller papers. Actually, the Wall Street Journal liked it and gave us a nice review. Why? Because adults, people who have money in bank accounts, you know what I mean, gave it a good review. And I'm going to read a review from the New York Sun.

We don't know what that is. But they sent it to me. So they're talking about the movie. Then they go, there's also Kevin. That would be me, Uncle Kevin, in the movie. Yeah, I'm bragging about myself right now. I'm sure there's nine articles. We're going, he was just beating himself.

There's also, Kevin, a name Jeff mentions. Jeff is, real quick, recap of the movie. Joe List plays a guy named Jeff who's from Boston, moves down to New York, becomes a jazz pianist, and he wants to have a family. He's real nervous about it. He's an alcoholic who's trying to quit. He's like three years into sobriety, and he wants to confront his family, Massachusetts people, on the 4th of July at a camp up in Maine where they always go. And so he plays Jeff. So it says, there's also Kevin, a name Jeff mentions early on with significant trepidation and as a figure to be avoided.

As it turns out, you guys are going to laugh, Uncle Kevin is an aggressive, loud-mouthed boar who has no compunction about strong-arming Jeff into taking a tipple or letting fly on any marginalized group you'd care to name. Sound like anybody you know? He's a type, sure, but as played by Nick DiPaolo, Uncle Kevin is one of the best things about the Fourth of July. A bracing rush of causticity among the pussy-footing typical of dysfunctional families and, for that matter, contemporary cinemas.

So that was nice. You are correct there. It is Mr. List, though, I'm going to read this because I'm so proud of Joe, who distinguishes himself the most thoroughly. Well, he had the lead role. I hope so. We've seen this kind of nebbish before, and the worry is that Jeff will remain a stark comic foil.

He doesn't, though. In two riveting, painful, and hilarious scenes, one with the entire family, the other with Uncle Mark, played by Chris Walsh, who I kept calling Murph the whole shooting, who was great. He had two big monologues. This guy Walsh, Chris Walsh, nailed them. Mr. List holds the screen in a manner that not only points to his character's growth and complexity, but underlines his own considerable gifts as an actor. Not every funny man deserves

a starring role. Few earn it. Mr. List is, in that regard, a rarity. And Fourth of July is a rewarding film. How about that? You are correct, sir. So I got a few pictures we'll show you and a couple quick clips. It really was fun. And so on Thursday night, we get up Friday morning. Again, the weekend, Friday before the 4th, Joe and Louie rented this, you know, 13-seat sprinter van or whatever they call it. So a bunch of us took that. We're supposed to leave at 9 to try to beat the traffic.

We get to Louie's apartment. First of all, he says, we're not leaving until 11. Whatever. I was, whatever. I'm like, we're dead. We're going to be caught. I got to be honest with you. I think Biden's gas prices did us a favor.

It was not that frigging bad. We took our time. But anyways, here's some pictures from the weekend. gas prices did us a favor. It was not that friggin' bad. We took our time. Anyways, here's some pictures from the weekend. There, I have pictures of me and him at about 10 different stages of life. I got us when we were comics about

two years into the business up at Niagara Falls. We were dating then. No, we were doing a club up there. He's literally fresh out of high school almost and you know i don't look like that uh so and then i got us in comics come home anyways that's the uh genius right there he's got a sweatshirt on and here is um they introduced us by character and this is again in New York in front of 2,000 people both of them were sold out because Louis is a force to be dealt

with anyways this is Uncle Kevin being introduced Uncle Kevin Nick DiPaolo oh my god they love me Uncle Marky, Chris Wall. That guy was great. All right, kill it. Anyway, that was in New York.

It was so fun. That's Ron Bennington on the mic. That's a picture of the whole cast. And Louie's so goddamn funny. What else we got? That's Joe onnington on the mic. That's a picture of the whole cast. And Lois so goddamn funny. What else we got? That's Joe on the big screen. You understand I met this kid? He told me this.

When I met him, he was 24. He just turned 40 recently. I can't believe it. What else we got? That's Uncle Kevin, me. And that's Ron Bennington on the right. He's so good, man. He knows just what to... Here's a quick...

I'll set this up. Ron Bennington, right after I sat down, after they introduced me, he goes, How much of what your character says do you believe, like in real life or whatever? And I said, someone... I don't believe that. Oh, Christ, I'm a deep person. life or whatever and I said someone Oh Christ no, I'm a deep person People try to make it too complicated

Yeah You know what I mean? Well there's those, those porch nights are very New England to me Everybody on the porch, drinking, and they're talking about life, you know, deeply and also opening it, you know, just telling each other shit right in front of them. The mom just saying, guess what fucking kids were just doing this with.

The woman Paula Plumlin played, the mom was so good. There's a scene where she's talking about, right in front of everybody she's talking about Joe. He used to piss his mom. I don't love you. I'd clean your skid marked underwear. He used to piss himself. Just all this fucking horrible shit.

I'm not being biased, folks. If I didn't know Logan I watched, I would have liked it. You know? No explosions. No fucking, just a good story. This was in one of the papers, which made me laugh because I'm in the center of the picture. It makes it look like I'm the star of the movie. And Joe's looking over going, what the fuck?

I should be standing. That's me getting in confrontation with that redheaded girl. And my character actually goes, it's 2021. I'll hit a woman. Believable. Oh, absolutely. Fucking acted. Kind of.

What else we got? Alright. Well, there you go. I suggest it's in theaters, like, in a lot of different places that I was surprised. Oh, but only for, like, one night. You know what I mean? Like, Liberty Tree Mall in my hometown of Danvers, where I grew up, they're showing it. I told my

mother. She said she was going to come to bars. I never did. Maybe we'll make a movie about you being a prick. Just kidding. I love you, honey. Alright, so go see that. It would help all of us. Bye Bye Asshole, the headline of the next story. A woke

Universal Music group worker claims he was fired for speaking up about abortion rights after he admitted that he refused to work because he was fired for speaking up about abortion rights after he admitted that he refused to work because he was in mourning over the Supreme Court's decision to overturn Roe versus Wade. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. He was in mourning. I guess he has a vagina too. And you know what? I wasn't that far off in making that stupid assessment.

Michael Lopez is a brown gay person. That's how he looks at himself. He looks like a gay Ben Affleck is what he looks like. Michael Lopez, a production coordinator at Universal Music Enterprises, blasted the company as anti-gay

for terminating a queer brown person. That's how he sees himself. If I terminating a queer brown person. That's how he sees himself. If I called him a queer brown person, I'd be a bigot in a way. During Pride Month, for speaking up in defense of abortion rights, according to a, maybe he's going to transition and get a snatch,

Donald, the snatches are us. According to a lengthy note on LinkedIn that went viral last week, this is the note. Last Friday, like countless other folks, I was devastated by the news of the Supreme Court's attack on abortion rights. Lopez wrote. You hear how he mimics the words, the very words that the media uses? Attacks and devastated.

What a bitch. Oh, poor you. Parade with the, and again, folks, it's got nothing to do with him being gay. It's got to do with him being a perpetual victim and swallowing this stuff whole other than cock. I mean, the message. Paired with flood of anti-queer and anti-trans

legislation, it's been hard to process how companies expect us to be productive while our rights are being stripped away. I suck cock. Can you imagine? And I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy. Stripped away. You see what...

If they ingest enough of this stuff, you see, you turn... No, I mean... I mean... Dallas, get your mind out of the blowjob. I mean, you ingest enough of the message. This is what... It's a little robot that they create, and there's millions of them. Lopez then went on to explain that each Friday, one of my tasks was to process reports for upcoming releases

and then to email his work to 275 people. But instead of doing the usual process reports, he wrote in an email that read, I didn't do them today. I'm in mourning due to the attack on people with uteruses in the United States. Federally guaranteed access to abortion is gone. The email continued. I'm going to fucking smash his fucking face in. Hey, stupid, take the balls out of your mouth for a second

and know that you can get an abortion still. Do you understand that much? Are you too blinded? Well, you might have to drive to a different state and realize that it's now back in the hands of the state because it was never a constitutional issue to begin with. Even your hero Ruth Bader Ginsburg said that.

Do you understand? It was bad legislation, she said. Do you get it? You've killed 63 million of them. I'm not even pro-life. I'm just saying get your head out of your cum-filled ass. A spokesperson for Universal Music Group told the Post, as a matter of policy, we can't discuss an individual's personnel record. We can say that was posted on social media.

What he posted is inaccurate. UMG has a long record, ba-ba-ba, a support for women's issues, ba-ba-ba, the spokesperson said. As we wrote to our U.S. employees, UMG views reproductive care as essential. Oh, yeah. In the wake of the recent U.S. Supreme Court

ruling overturning Roe v. Wade, the company has extended its efforts to assure that these important health care services like killing babies with forceps remains accessible to employees. We also financially support non-profit groups that will crush a baby's skull with their work boots. Working in this area and offer a match for employees' contribution to those groups as well. You know how far off the reservation you have to be

for a company to be that liberal and fucking fire you, you ass? When Lopez returned to work the following Monday, he said he was greeted with a surprise Zoom video chat with HR. Were you surprised, were you? How does it feel? I was being let go for paraphrasing, not doing your job, disrupting the day of 275 people, and poor judgment.

I love it. I think the worm is turning right in his ass. Lopez then said he sent a follow-up to the email list informing his colleagues. Oh, you're so important. Who gives a fuck what you think? Just got fired. This is what it said. Just got fired for this email from Friday.

So they're letting you know where they stand on employees speaking out on politicians that support marginalization for folks like me. Wah! I'm a victim. Wah! Wah! Wah! He is just mad because he was born with a dick

and has no interest in putting in a pussy where it belongs. Now here's Tom with the weather. It's raining. It's raining, man. Hallelujah. He reportedly wrote according to his lengthy LinkedIn post. What is that, some type of euphemism?

I am on fire today. Let me tell you something, dude. You're going to... I want it all in there I bet you do no I just oh my god this is turning into some type of homophobic show

it's a great show for a Monday is what I'm saying he opined a brown queer person terminated during pride month speaking in support of abortion rights seems like that's exactly what America is all about right now. Can you fucking imagine? Really? Is that what it seems like America is all about?

For the last 35 years to us straight people, it seems like it's nothing about you. Gay people. Trans. Okay? Whether it's TV, movies, film, it's been all about you. Gay people. Trans. Okay? Whether it's TV, movies, film, it's been all about you. You make up about fucking 6% of the population. Who

are you kidding? His view of the world is so distorted thanks to CBS, NBC, ABC, LA, the usual suspect. He thinks that they haven't been getting enough coverage. I'll say it again your bosses don't even like it and it doesn't seem like a real conservative

company okay Lopez I hope you see this I don't know where you unless it goes to a you know gay film house in Hollywood anyways hey, hey, one-time contributions. I want to thank you people. Again, 4th of July, so I know not many. It'll be short list. Paul Sagnella, a buddy from Connecticut. Sean Powell, the liver is still hanging in from Florida. Bob and Jerry Curley, met them after a gig.

Very nice people. John, that's a bad sign, though, when you're thanking your contributors and you know half of them by... John Melton, Sicily. I love that. Svetlana. Okay, this has to be a fake name, right? If it isn't, I want to meet this broad. I know somebody's trolling me. Svetlana Rodriguez.

That's a Russian Puerto Rican? Do you understand what that means? After she blows you, she plays a good shortstop. With vodka. There you go. Nick Powell. New subscribers. These are monthly subscribers.

Matt Altman. David R. Ignacio. Ted Bukaki. Bukaki. Get it? James Taylor. James Taylor, the musician, I hope. Because he sings some terrific songs.

You've got a friend. How's it go? My wife hates him so much. Billy Schaefer and Rocky Pintazzi, who just signed up for a full year at Patreon, which is I want you to share the show, man. People saw the, if they see the show today, they'll eat it up, won't they? That's it, right?

That is it. Perfect. About 45 minutes in my book. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just burped. Have you noticed I haven't been coughing lately? You notice that? That's because when I fall asleep and I snore, my wife takes a turkey baster,

sticks it into my lungs and goes like this and pulls out all this brown shit and I don't even feel it. Anyways, that's it. Good to be back for Monday. Hope you had a great weekend. Don't forget to sign up at Patreon monthly, please, or thecomicsgym.com

and go to nickdip.com for all your comedy needs. And don't forget cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or relative or say happy birthday to somebody. Cameo.com. We already plugged it. That is it, ladies and gentlemen. For you people who are staying tuned, you monthly subscribers,

got a great extra story for you about some mothers that went to a high school prom and things got naughty, naughty. You guys think I'll say it. You're very welcome. See you back here tomorrow at the same time. Take care, kids. I'm free guitar solo Outro Music