The Nick DiPaolo Show - McCarthy: Military To The Border | Nick Di Paolo Show #1383

Episode Date: April 18, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about McCarthy wanting troops on border, Stewart owning Kathleen Hicks and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Oh yeah, how are you folks? Welcome. Welcome on a Tuesday. Filthy Tuesday, how are you? Pretty good. Good. Guy comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife. I guess I'll have to spread my legs now, she says. Why, he asks. Don't you have a vase? I want all of you to enjoy your cake. So, enjoy.

Welcome to the show on a Tuesday. As you know, I'm now part of Mug Club and happy to be away from Big Tech, who's been trying to clam me up and everybody else for years. Go to nickdapaloshow.com to join me and to get the full version of today's episode. me and to get the full version of today's episode. Mama, woo, woo, woo. Anyways, I don't want to die sometimes. Okay, what's going on, folks? I don't know what to tell you.

It's, what is it, Tuesday? It's a Tuesday. Real quick update on my sports teams. Red Sox have a guy named Adam Duvall who was the American League Player of the Week in the first week of the season. Already got like 19 RBIs, five homers, or whatever the fuck. Everybody's all excited about him. Breaks his wrist.

Making a catch of the outfield. So, anyways. I can't fucking. Why do I care? Why do I year after year, why do I care? As Mike Donovan, a great comedian, said, put the camera on people in the crowd, we're number one! You know, after the Celtics won, they do, we're number one! No, they're number one. You're a fucking asshole. They

don't give a fuck if you live or die. They really put it in perspective. We're number one. And don't think that, folks. I mean, I'm agreeing with him. Don't think that because you're a fan and all that shit that you helped win the cup or that you didn't. You didn't do anything but watch and cheer him on. Yeah, but that means, no, it doesn't. Shut it. That's why I hate now at the end of a World Series, you notice this trend the last, I'd say, five, ten years? The family comes on.

They let a whole bunch of different people on instead of just the team now. Okay? Stop it. Can't we have something to ourselves? Male adults? White? No, it's not white. What am I saying? If we didn't have the Dominican Republic, you wouldn't have MLB. Why? We all

talk about how the brothers are so great in basketball, which they are, and pretty much every sport they play. That's not a stereotype. There's only a few black hockey players. They're great. But you don't, nobody talks about Latinos and their baseball skills.

What is that? Dominicans and Afghanis, you know. The guy that doesn't know his globe. You know, the Afghan. Dominicans, Puerto Ricans. Seriously, unbelievable.

Especially Dominicans. Unbelievable ballplayers. I don't know what I'm talking about that. Anyways. All right. Let's get to it, shall we? Speaker McCarthy says military to the border. This guy, I think, has presidential aspirations.

I, again, I don't know why I didn't try. Well, maybe because he's a Republican from California, which is like being a Republican from, you know, they called Bloomberg a Republican in New York. So I, you know, I worry about these rhino-type globalists and you read about, I don't know. And that may be true, McCarthy. There's something about him. He's too smooth. He's too, but he and you read about, I don't know, and that may be true, McCarthy, there's something about him, he's too smooth, he's too, but he's, so far, I gotta be

honest, he's right on the money with some of his moves, I can't name two, I forget, but again, I'm on the verge of dementia myself, but he's doing the right thing, and this is one of them, I think. House Speaker Kevin McCarthy told Breitbart News that it's time to embed some military on the U.S. border. And again, we've only been saying this for, what, since I was 11? What the fuck? And people go, why haven't we? Well, I'll tell you why. Because even Republicans want cheap labor. And everybody else.

That's what this country runs on. That's why. When anything doesn't make sense, you know the rule. Follow the frickin' money to the evil. Anyways, but now that 100,000 Americans, kids mostly dying a year of fentanyl, which again, the ingredients come from China, assembled in Mexico, brought over by who fucking God knows who.

And, you know, maybe now it's too obvious that they have to pretend to do something about it. Honestly, that's war. That's an act of war, poisoning another country's people. But again, we need cheap labor and all that horse shit. people. But again, we need cheap labor and all that horseshit. Anyways, let's put some military on the border with Mexico to fight the Mexican drug cartels. I agree with that. Yes, sir. But we'll see what happens. We've been here, you know, everybody talks a good game. McCarthy's comments came during an exclusive long form interview taped last month in this ceremonial U.S. House Speaker's office just off the House floor.

Now, why you had to put that in the fucking article is beyond me. I'm not looking for the men's room to take a quick dump as I walk by. I don't need the schematics. What the fuck is that? What are you, a real estate agent? Here's the Oval Office.

Got 19 bedrooms. Kennedy banged somebody up here. Here's where Reagan dumped on the floor. But here's Father McCarthy. What the fuck's Father McCarthy? Why does that sound familiar? Talking to this little fella with a fucking giant head. I think it's Ron, what's his name, The guy, Andy Griffith, Ron Howard's younger brother, Stu. So President Trump says we should send in the military to fight the cartel. You know, I've met with the border agents many times. I think we're going to have to embed some military to allow that technology to help secure it yes yes i agree nice going kevin uh but again he don't make the rules asked about the incident which happened just before this interview with four americans remember these four black people

went down there to get like a tummy tuck? Ended up getting killed. A couple got killed, right? Four Americans were kidnapped by cartels in Mexico. Remember they apologized after. So that must have really been a fuck up. Anyways, McCarthy noted that two were murdered and it wasn't far from the border. McCarthy then affirmed, McCarthy then affirmed he believes the Mexican drug cartels should be formally designated as a foreign terrorist organization

by the United States government. Yes, we didn't see Trump do that, did we? Again, money, money, money. That's how you know it's a tough sell. But yes, in a perfect world where the border country is helping wipe out future generations of your country, yeah, the military and everybody else should be involved. It's so hilarious. That's why I don't take the wall talk all serious. What about the wall? Why? We got flamethrowers. talk all serious. You know? What about the wall?

Why? We got flamethrowers. I think you have to designate, McCarthy said, when asked if the U.S. should designate cartels as terrorist groups. Of course they should. Aye, aye, aye, aye.

Oh, my God. I am the crystal bunker. We do not have operational control of our border, McCarthy added. For anyone in America that's been down there, I want to give credit to Governor Abbott. It shouldn't be his job to of our border, McCarthy added. For anyone in America that's been down there, I want to give credit to Governor Abbott. It shouldn't be his job to secure the border,

but he has to put effort into it. You look what has gone on. These cartels are making billions of dollars, human trafficking, right? But they're using weapons, they're shooting. We've watched in broad daylight what they would do with not respect, no it no no respect for life or for americans uh he said he said that that what he said okay okay hey in the second half of the show i am going to be talking about uh digital currency and joe joe's plan which is really obama's plan to uh set up a social credit thing might be coming as soon as summertime. If you have a checking account, this is going to include you. So stay tuned for that.

It's very interesting. And God damn it, I don't like it. It's making me nervous. I finally have $11. It's exclusively on Mug Club. So join now to get it at nickdapaloshow.com. Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich.

Talk to me in that tone, I'll fucking tan your bottom. That's what my father used to say, I'll tan your bottom. And he did. If you want to call bright red after seven belt lashes, tan me like a fucking Irishman.

In our make me a sandwich segment tonight, United States Deputy Secretary of Defense, Kathleen Hicks. Kathleen Hicks. Fucking bitch. Oh, you got that right, Uncle Joe. This is Kathleen Hicks. We finally found somebody that makes Hillary likable, that makes Pelosi look likable, that makes Ilhan Omar likable.

This, you know when feminists go, yeah, when a woman's in charge, she's called the bitch. You know, and that's not true when they're good ladies and shit, whatever. I never found that to be, nobody called me a bitch bitch and i've been in charge of a lot of things um this thing here this is this thing is a bitch i don't care she's not good at her job that's why john stewart's interviewing her i want you to take note of her defensive tone right from the beginning. She must have watched clips of Jon Stewart and got nervous like the night before this interview. She's so on the defensive. And you'd think, well, you know, she's a lefty. She's under Biden.

It's not exactly enemy territory. She's talking to Jon Stewart. But I'm going to give, and you guys who are new to my show, I like Jon Stewart. Of course I don't like his politics for the most part, but there are some things that like, he was trying to, remember all the people that got sick, the firemen and all the EMS people at 911 down on that pit and that fund that was supposed to pay their hospital bills, they were getting screwed. that fund that was supposed to pay their hospital bills, they were getting screwed. So he was down there probably, what, a year ago, a year and a half ago,

defending them, and he defends veterans every chance he gets. He's a smart dude. Yes, he's too liberal for me and you for the most part. But I know him personally. You'd like him if you met him. And you can't deny he was, you can't say he wasn't good on The Daily Show, a huge success. But yes, I'm like you guys. I don't like his macro politics overall, only usually when it comes to race.

I don't know why New York and New Jersey and the Northeast have a blind spot when it comes to race as far as they just don't have the balls to whatever. Anyways, this is, again, United States Deputy Secretary of Defense Kathleen Hicks. She lost her composure during an interview with Jon Stewart when he pressed her about the Pentagon's $850 billion, with a B, mismanaged dollars, mismanaged budget, which she's in charge of. So that's why she had her dander up. Earlier this year, a report by the Government Accountability, we call that the GAO in the business, estimated that the Pentagon has at least $220 billion in unaccounted-for government furnished property.

Furnished property? What's that, like tables and chairs and beds and shit i remember my freshman year at university of maine this is so true i wasn't part of the football team yet i drove by on a saturday morning i drove by teak which was the football frat they had a beautiful porch on that house you know fr, old houses. The porch was completely off the house and piled in wood, almost as high as the house. And not soon, not long after that, they found $15,000 worth of dorm furniture in there. Reminded me of this. Anyways, nobody's keeping track, but the GAO is. However, the GAO stated that the estimate is likely significantly that number understated. estimate is likely significantly that number understated. Thursday interview quickly became contentious because this girl had a hair across her filthy ass when Stewart questioned Hicks

about potential waste, fraud, and abuse within the department. See, because her whole life, because she's a lib woman and in politics, no one's ever spoke up to her. Or whatever. She's an elitist asshole I can tell by looking at her. I'd still throw her one but what are you going to do? Anyways even Dallas wouldn't even spit his coffee on. Why am I reading some of what he's going to say? No? Anyway.

No? Okay. Thank you. He says do you feel like these are unfair questions of somebody within a department of that size and scope? That's what Jon Stewart asked Ms. Hicks, and of course she said, It's a sick question, you're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. Hicks replied with a condescending tone for most of the exchange, stated, I think you have a particular thing you really want to ask me about.

You're asking me other questions, though, but I don't think it's unfair to ask me about that one. Hicks appeared agitated by the comment and with a seemingly patronizing tone replied, You need to explain to me, do you understand what it audit does and the degree to which it is linked to the question that you're asking so here is some of that exchange watch how defensive she is good and they see food insecurity on military bases and they see talk about that because that's a good... We should be talking... I mean, I'm trying to understand

where you're trying to go other than the dollars, which really bother you. I think it doesn't really bother me. I think it's all connected. Okay. Tell me that story. Pause.

Tell me that story. Fucking blow me. Tell me that story. What a condescending war. And Jon Stewart is... this is where he's great I've seen him on O'Reilly uh you know on Hannity whatever and he never and it's the key to being a great debater and not that I would know because I don't have this ability they can just stay calm he sits back and he's like doesn't get emotional But you see how defensive she is? Because she would never let a man cut her off at work or whatever in a conversation.

Go ahead, pretty girl. Tell me how you're thinking about that. Well, when I see a State Department get a certain amount of money and a military budget be 10 times that, and I see a struggle within government to get people, like, more basic services, and then that department that got that. And I see a struggle within government to get people like more basic services. And then that department that got that. I mean, we got out of 20 years of war and the Pentagon got a 50 billion dollar raise. Like, that's shocking to me.

Now, I may not understand exactly the ins and outs and the incredible magic of an audit, but I'm a human being who lives on the earth and can't figure out how $850 billion to a department means that the rank and file still have to be on food stamps. Like to me, that's fucking corruption. I'm sorry. Uh-oh. How dare you use that language in front of me? My vagina's angry. Oh, is it ever? It is. It is. It's pissed off. Oh, is it ever It is It is It's pissed off Oh has it ever been My vagina's angry Yeah you don't have one I love how John Did you see him laying in there

The magic of an audit Cause he asked her Do you even know what an audit is at one point You know Do you know the ins and outs of an audit And that's what people do When they're losing an argument They'll retreat back to what they know

And try to get you with a gotcha question. They'll pull some jargon out that only they would know, you know, and he handles it perfectly. Well, I'm a human being on the planet. He was being heavily sarcastic there and sticking it right up her hairy ass. See how defensive? And this is what feminism has created.

Not all of yous. Not all of yous. Not all of yous. Not all you people. Anyways, again, props for Jon Stewart for, you know, looking after people getting fucked over. Now, his stance is on race and shit. I'm sorry. They're just damaged from growing up in New Jersey. I don't know.

Anyways, I thought that was great. I thought that was terrific. For those of you on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of the show. Everyone else go to nickdopalashow.com and join to get my full show. Not only mine, but Crowder's and a lot more. And while you're there,

get tickets to see me live in St. Louis, April 21 and 22, Daytona Beach May 12, and Arlington, Virginia in July the 14th and 15th. Thank you so much. guitar solo Outro Music