The Nick DiPaolo Show - Michigan Busts Bidens Balls | Nick Di Paolo Show #606

Episode Date: October 6, 2021

Biden responds to F*#K Joe Biden signs. Yellen defends IRS rule. WNBA players brawl next to food truck. Man joins own search party. VAWA extends gun grab. Dad tackles pedophile.

Thanks for watching. Whether on social media or in our schools, on television, or from the White House, now more than ever, our freedoms, especially freedom of speech, are being suppressed, and that's putting it mildly. That's why I do this show, and that's why I put it out for free. For those of you who are able, please consider contributing to the show in any amount so we can keep it free and maintain a forum where right-leaning, honest, unfiltered comedy exists. Just click on the contribute button on your screen or go to nickdip.com and click on the contribute button at the top. Thank you guys so much. Let's keep this freedom fight going. guitar solo Good afternoon, morning, evening. How are you, folks?

Let's go Red Sox. Let's go Red Sox. Fuck you, Yankees. See you next year. That's right, we're very humble about that. Like I told all my friends, I don't care if we get eliminated in the next series. It was a winner-take-all with the Yankees. That's all that matters when you grow up in the Boston area. A man goes to Fenway Park. He has a couple beers.

Sees a woman in a Yankees hat in her late 80s, punches her in the face. May the bat be passed to the next generation of assholes. Wasn't that beautiful? Oh, my God. Mr. Bogarts. He only hits a two-run homer about 440 feet

and then throws a guy out at the plate. Now we get the fucking race and we're coming for you assholes, too. Everybody's wondering how you guys do it with the fourth lowest payroll.

I don't know. I would be checking the computers and the trash cans for cheating. I know our coach mastered that, but he's clean now. I'm a little suspect what you guys are doing down there. Anyways, we're coming for you.

You insulted us a little bit. A little bit. Nah, nah, nah. You're out of line yourself. All right. I'm trying to kill time. I don't feel like doing this today. Fucking producers are looking at me.

Are we going to do the show? Yeah. What time do we start? About 12.50, right? Yep. All right. That's four minutes. As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.

Anyways, who do we got tonight? Dodgers, Cardinals, right? Dallas, you're a National League fan. Oh, yeah. Yeah? Cardinals have won, what, 48 in a row? Dodgers have the fucking largest payroll in the history of baseball, so fuck them.

I'll take,'m sorry for boring people who aren't into sports, but what are you, gay? No, I like synchronized swimming. I'll take Kiki Hernandez and Verdugo combined talents over one Mookie Betts any day of the week. What did you do? You heard me.

You heard me. All right, enough of the baseball chat. Let's get on with the show shall we kids in the n-word segment today two pfizer scientists have admitted if you had covid you probably have antibodies that are way more effective preventing you from getting it again than any vaccine their company or any other company could give you. No kidding, guys, huh? What are you going to tell us next, that eating too much red meat will rot out your ass pipe? We know this. Well, we appreciate the truth, fellas, and oh, by the way, it was nice knowing you. I mean, how long before one of these

guys goes to start his car in the morning and he's blown to kingdom come because a bomb was strategically placed under his seat by a capo in the Anthony Fauci family? Do you know what kind of balls it takes to throw a monkey wrench into somebody's billion-dollar-a-year scam? You'd have a longer life expectancy if you got caught banging El Chapo's girlfriend. You'd have a longer life expectancy if you got caught banging El Chapo's girlfriend. Chris Croce, one of Pfizer's senior scientists, said, I work for an evil corporation and it's run on COVID money.

Thank you, Mr. Croce. My jab came from Pfizer just the other day. Now my heart has a murmur. That's okay. Can you teach me to walk? Well, there still is a way. Croce, get it? Wake up. I'll have to do my emerald. Bam. Luckily, I personally got COVID when it first came out, and it was not just a trend. I jumped on it early. I told you guys how I got it and I know I'm telling you. I was doing a gig in Chicago, shook about 300 hands after the show, went into the green room, saw a slice of pizza, just picked it up and ate it without washing my hands. I'd say about 24

hours later, my teeth were chattering, I was sweating like I had jaundice, and I went to the doc. He said, what are your other symptoms? And I went, ting-ow, ting-ow, ting-ow, ting-ow. Luckily, I got COVID when it first came out, so the only shots I'll be getting will be administered by Ruth, the local bartender down at Dave & Buster's. As far as the rest of you who haven't had it, may I suggest, unless you're a 75 year old black person who's built like Precious and lives on cherry Coke and Funyuns, ignore the noise, okay? The only reason you should be rolling your sleeves up is to punch a pro-vaccine nut in his mask-covered mouth. And that is the N-word for tonight. And when I say pro-vaccine, I mean as far as these vaccines.

People, all I need to hear is one person died or 10. And you realize it's in the thousands all over the world. You realize that, right? People, I'm talking to you. Do you realize? Why would you fucking? I'd like to know, even my fans. I wonder how many of you got the jab thinking it's going to help you. I don't know. It doesn't matter. We're going to be in war with China in about three weeks. We're all going to die of some type of mustard gas. They pulled out of a pelican's balls,

and they'll put that on a slide and whoo. Anyways, it's all because of a fearless leader. This poor guy is slurring his words. Are these lights extra bright or are my eyes tired? I fucking can barely read this thing today. I'm guessing it's my eyes because, once again, I was trying to come up with a monologue last night at 1.30 in the morning, and then I flipped over to torture stories.

1.30 in the morning, and then I flipped over to torture stories. That's what I was reading, about torture stories and Syrian prisons. Oh, my God. Got some great ideas for the bedroom. Anyways, Joe Biden, he's supposed to be our president, which is still, people still, including him, thinks he won. Joe Biden responds to fuck Joe Biden signs in Michigan. President Joey Biden responded to supporters of former President Donald Trump, who welcomed the president to Michigan with anti-Biden signs. Tell me fucking Trump's not laughing his balls off. I thought they hated me look what they're doing this poor fuck it's a big beautiful fuck sign a big beautiful fuck joe biden said made it with my big beautiful

hand probably the most hateful sign uh that we've ever seen uh here's here's some footage of trump supporters finally getting a chance to let Joey know how they feel. Fuck. Trump won. Trump won. Fuck Biden. And there's that girl by herself looking for some cock. We got more footage. Check out this lady with a megaphone. Holy Christ, holy Christ. Hillary has been spotted, and she's with Republicans. Look at this piece of ass. Hey, who would call a coward? He's a fucking coward!

An American's home to the fed! If you don't like this country, get the fuck out of it! I have a big mom! I love her politics, but can you imagine that's somebody's wife? Oh, and you wonder why you read stories about guys waking up, married guys when they're like 88 and killing their 86-year-old wife. Get the fuck, that was beautiful well said biden yelled back when he put the window down kiss my ass and all hell broke out anyways look at those legs why would you come out in a fucking house dress

jesus christ this is what oprah did to like three generations of women. You're beautiful no matter what you look like. Now, you're a fucking puddle of shit. I wouldn't fuck you for practice. As my dad used to say to my mother, listen. That's all right. Mom doesn't watch the show. Daddy won't.

Bye-bye. Biden reacted to a crowd of Trump supporters who flew signs that read, fuck Joe Biden, Trump won. And even let's go Brandon sign. Remember Brandon? We're talking about the girl was interviewing the guy who won the NASCAR thing

and they were chanting, fuck Joe Biden, and she turned it into let's go Brandon. Why didn't I think of that? There'll be another $4 in my pocket. Anyways, yeah, let's go, Brandon signed from the viral meme over the weekend. So they let him have it. We don't want you, one man shouted as Biden's motorcade drove by. That guy was Donald Trump Jr. No. Get out of here, somebody very unimaginative said. Wow.

There were some signs that even said, as Biden's motorcade drove by, get out. All right, get out. Get out. Biden made a... Fucking eyes are watering. I'm so happy. Biden made a pointed remark in reaction to the signs reminding Trump supporters that he won the 2020 election. I feel bad.

This is almost like a little kid. It's really sad. Here's Biden slurring through some fucking horse shit off the cuff this is a big deal this is a big fucking deal that's what and notwithstanding some of the signs I saw come that's why 81 million Americans voted for me the largest number of votes in American history cause yeah listen to the 12 pipe fitters clapping for him. You fucking garbage.

And you're a piece of shit. That's why 85, 81 million. Anybody else feel a warm sensation down there? You didn't fucking win shit. The largest number of voters in American history, a clear majority are supporting when they supported me, Biden. He argued that Americans voted for him because they supported his multi-trillion dollar spending proposals,

such as the massive entitlement spending bill currently stalled in Congress. I guess the people are for it, but the people who pass the laws aren't. Even on your side, fuck's sake, explain that. Afterward, Biden claimed that the signs only energized him and not the three bumps he did with his son in the limo. him and not the three bumps he did with his son in the limo. The signs only energized him. He said it's like mainlining insurance of the head of his car. When asked by the reporters, yeah, he said it energized him. I'm sure it did. He says, I smile even though my teeth are false. I give them a little thumbs up.

Is that what you do? You're a crumb creep. Exactly. Get out of my life! You have a whore in 2A, Janice Rossi! Get your own fucking president! I don't know why I brought that in. It had nothing to do with nothing.

Matt, you don't have a cigarette on you, do you? No, sir. Son of a bitch. He's really doing it. I sort of fell off the wagon, folks, a little bit. I only have them in the morning. I've got to lay off the late night eating. I've got a chin already showing up that wasn't here

when I got back from New York from the movie set. Hey, let's move on to, speaking of chins, one of the hottest broads I think in politics. Very underrated. Everybody talks about the fucking hot ones on the right like the Governor Noem of

North Dakota and shit like that. But this broad, nobody talks about her. Put her up. It's Miss Yellen. Look at that piece of ass. Huh? Have you ever seen, this is Newt Gingrich if he had bone marrow cancer. Women turn into men. It's so sad. That's a fucking, look at that. That's Newt Gingrich without a haircut because he's in a nursing home dying of AIDS. He got that from drinking out of Bonnie Frank's coffee cup in 1988. Yellen defends IRS for requiring banks to report all transactions of over 600 bucks. Could you get any more?

You know, you fuckers on the left, you make fun of, you always made fun of conservatives, the Mark Levins, the Hannity, all those guys. But this is what the conservatives have been saying for 50 years about government getting up our ass, whether it's getting a permit to plant a tree in your own yard, telling what kind of toilet you have to, all that. And you fuckers on the left keep voting for the jerk offs, and here we are. They're already in our lives. This doesn't even matter at this point. I mean, they film us. I mentioned dildos while I'm watching TV, and then in the next morning three dildo ads come up on my computer. Not for me, for this guy next

door, big fact. But don't tell me we have no privacy left. And that $600, I know homeless people who have that. Treasury Secretary, I'll call her Bob Yellen, is defending a Biden administration proposal that would require banks to report data to the Internal Revenue Service on transactions over $600, calling the collection of information routine, after taking heat for the idea that is widely seen as unprecedented invasion of privacy. Of course, it is routine. If you mean you're always snooping on us, whether it's our medical records or whatever, it's routine for you guys.

$600, how dare you? Get this through your head, you little... on us, whether it's our medical records or whatever. It's routine for you guys. 600 bucks. How dare you? Get this through your head, you. Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you. Wait a minute. Don't blame her for that. She's just doing her job. During an interview on CNBC's Squawk Box, my wife's nickname when I met her.

Slow down. ABC's Squawk Box, my wife's nickname when I met her. Gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, slow down, it's red, gah, that's a red light, gah, gah, gah. My wife's not like that. If she was, I would have killed her years ago. Listen, on Squawk Box, that was my, I won't say that either, my sister will hate that. On Tuesday, Yellen was pressed on whether the IRS has the wherewithal to collect more information about taxpayers and if Newt Gingrich had called her for his hair back. That's right. I went to the well again, buck stains.

And taxpayers and bank accounts, including cash flows, something many Republicans have called, why is it always the Republicans and people on the right that call out the invasiveness when you fuckers on the left enjoy a nice government finger up your ass, apparently? Well, of course they do, Yellen said, meaning banks have the right to do this. Right now, on every bank account that earns more than $10 a year in interest, the banks report the interest earned to the IRS. That's part of the information base that includes W-2s and reports on dividends and other income that taxpayers earn.

So collection of information like this, it's just routine. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Make a little fucking interest on a $10 talent? Huh? I probably did too. Don't point to bad behavior to justify other bad behavior. This is just more invasion. It's all it is. Don't even fucking please. Yellen cited the enormous tax gap in the United States as the reason behind the proposed tax hikes and information collecting, blaming the gap on places where information on income can be hidden.

In other words, people who make a lot of dough. But you know what they also do? They provide thousands of fucking jobs. And there's a lot of laws that let them hide their shit. Okay? I'm not a... And this is such nonsense how they pay. They don't pay their fair share.

You have a look at what the top 1% pay. They pay half of it. According to the numbers I look at on fucking rightwing.com, under the proposal, banks would be required to turn over aggregate inflow and outflow numbers annually to the IRS. That would cover everybody. $600 transaction, for the love of Christ. Annually to the IRS, it would cover bank accounts with at least $600 worth of transactions,

according to the Wall Street. My wife spends it on makeup, for Christ's sake. This is what I say to the government. Shut up. Mind your fucking business and shut up. The proposal has been slammed by Republicans as an invasion of privacy. Last week, Cynthia Loomis, Republican Wyoming, slammed the Treasury Secretary during a Senate Banking, Housing, and Urban Development Committee hearing, asking if she was aware of how unnecessary this regulatory burden is, you whore, she added. Do you distrust the American people so much that you need to know when they bought a

couch or a cow? That's so ironic. Those two things, I bought those two things like a week ago. Unbelievable. Because I want to make my own cheese, and I want to eat it on a new couch. What? The Republican senator asked with that stupid hairdo from 1958, like she married an astronaut. Several states have also expressed concern over the proposal,

including Nebraska, which slammed the information collection as a violation of Americans' constitutional rights, because they have a shitload of cows, to privacy. And said the costs associated with banks, credit companies, and other financial institutions complying with the requirement would be passed on to who? Always the end consumer, us. It's ridiculous. It seems foolish to have all this money lying around. Oh, you'd rather have it down at the bank where the Jewish guys can leer at it? What? I don't like that type of talk.

You know I don't like that type of talk, Junior. And I'd appreciate it if you stopped. I knew it. I fucking knew it. I'm still the boss of this family, my little nephew. Go online and Google these guys that are doing The Sopranos. Man, there's about 10 of them that are fucking... There's a young guy that does Livia and Uncle... It's just fucking hilarious. I watch that shit right after porn. That way, if my wife looks at the history... I watch that show right after porn.

That way, if my wife looks at the history. Speaking of great websites, this podcast is brought to you by MyBookie. This week, entries are now open for the winner-take-all super contest. MyBookie is the only sportsbook that offers online super contests. Don't miss out on this exclusive promotion. Enter now and turn $10 into $10,000. Playing is very simple. For week five through eight of the NFL season, make five picks against the spread. When your team wins, you earn points and move up the rankings. If you go all the way, you could take home the $10,000 grand prize. Use promo code NickDip and double your first deposit.

Again, that's promo code NickDip to get double your first deposit with MyBookie. Start your winning season today. Bet anything, anytime, anywhere with MyBookie. We thank them for sponsoring the show today. I'll tell you one sport I don't bet on, the WNBA. Am I right, folks? I mean, that shit is so unpredictable. I mean, the over-under is what, 11? I want to watch lesbians play a foot under the rim. That's good basketball. Only time I want lesbians

and rims meant in the same sentence, it should be porn. I just came up with that. Boy, I wonder why I can't get on TV. Oh, I can. I choose not to. Yeah, the WNBA, which I can't

believe is still on. There's got to be 14 dykes in Vermont cheering the playoffs. Ever watch it? They put it on TV once in a while, and there's 31 people in a stadium that holds 14,000. We have to pretend to be interested. I'm not saying girls don't play,

but, you know, you shouldn't be on TV. I love how they, when they run a commercial on ESPN because they're so woke Disney, they'll splice in WNB players. LeBron hitting a three-pointer and they'll splice it in with some chick who's 6'8",

240 out of Connecticut with a fucking handlebar mustache trying to dunk and she ends up paralyzing herself. WNBA players in parking lot brawl. Boy, these blacks and whites. No. A viral video shows several women's national basketball.

Just say WNBA, you fucks. Players engaging in a wild fist fight in a parking lot next to a food truck. Apparently it was Pink Taco Night on the food truck. Am I doing well? Can you write this shit? Black broads brawling in front of a food truck in Atlanta. There's something wrong with the black man's mind. There's something wrong with his mind. And I do mean man. The video allegedly features three players from the WNBA's Atlanta dream,

including Courtney Williams, Crystal Bradford, and Kalani Brown. I don't see a dream there. I see a fucking nightmare. When you're the one that's about 6'4", about, what, 305 on the right, and you're the hottest one, look at these biological aberrations. Don't kid yourself. Look at that thing in the middle. Are you shitting me? I would blow two of my producers today before I would try to finger pop.

Look at her armpit. What are you? That's... Ugh! There's another broad... I almost said Guy, the one on the left trying to be Rodman. Just the name. You're filling the joke. Anyways, those are the dream. The three reportedly throw punches at several people in front of the tenders and bites. Isn't that a gay bar? That's what I thought it was, but it's a food truck.

Anyways, check this. This is the most physical the WNBA ever gets. Check it out. Free grits. Free grits. Free grits. Go, go, go. Go, go, go. Oh.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I always love the brother who's filming it laughing his ass off. Oh, my God. Those grits must be delicious. Oh, whatever. Boy, don't get in the way of a fucking angry black lesbian around dinner time. Or a white one.

I don't mean to be racist. The brawl was reportedly sparked when someone made a comment about Williams' girlfriend. Which one's Williams again? Doesn't matter. The one on the left? She's got a girlfriend. The 5'8 WNBA guard is said to have thrown the first

punch. Her two teammates then came to her side and joined the fight, of course. The team told the media that the incident was already handled internally. Interestingly, the video was posted to Twitter by dream player Chanity Carter. What's that, a play on words? They took Kennedy and who? Fucking Chaka Khan? Chanity Carter,

who was a, yeah, Kennedy Carter. Didn't they debate? Chanity Carter, who's a white out for the Alabama Crimson Tide, who was suspended last season for conduct detrimental to the team. Imagine what you have to do to be considered detrimental to her. Because she reportedly refused to support her teammates from the sidelines after being pulled from a game. She's a malignant cunt.

That's what I heard. The Dream issued a statement on Friday about the incident that reportedly happened months ago, but is only now being made public. Boy, they hid that under the thing, huh? Anything. You can't. Black, fucking black and female and gay? Oh, my God.

That's a triple header. We can't let people know that they're fallible. That's, honest to God, that's how the media thinks. That's honest to God, that's how the media thinks. The behavior in the video is unacceptable and does not align with our values as an organization, the dream said according to Insider. We are taking this matter very seriously and working with these seven-foot lesbians to chill them out. They're working with the league to gather more information and determine next steps. It wasn't the Kennedy assassination.

It's a bunch of pigs fighting over a fucking cheeseburger and somebody's girlfriend. Oh, my God, my teeth are yellow. Okay. I don't like to see girls fight like that. It upsets me. I mean men. What were they? Well, I thought they were dumb, but this might top them. This story is just too funny. Out of Turkey, I believe. I couldn't believe the headline. It was like an onion headline. Man joins his own search party.

In a scene worthy of a comedy sketch, a Turkish man joined a search party for a missing person, not realizing the individual being pursued was him. Oh, fucking idiot. Behan Mutlu. Behan Mutlu. Behan Mutlu. Behan Mulu. Behan Mulu. Behan Mulu.

51. Looks like he's 81. When drinking with a friend in a forest. What is this, a children's book? They slept under a giant mushroom cap. When drinking with a friend in a forest in the town of Ingol oh that's a nice place

they have a duplex there with Steve McQueen's kid what in the town of Ingol northwest Turkey late Tuesday his wife reported him missing after he did not return home and she heard he had walked away from his friends drunk.

Gendemir and rescue teams were called in to find Mutlu, who had gone to sleep in a house in the forest. One bed was too soft. Doesn't it sound like a Hansel and Gretel? One was too hard. Anyways, in a house in the floor, Turkish online news, T24 reported Friday. He came across members of the search party in the morning and decided to help them find the missing person. What is this, Gilligan of Turkey?

I'll skip records. He realized he was the focus of the search when they began calling his name. Ooh, call him a detective. Jesus Christ, what a genius this guy is. Hello? Hello? Moodle? Hello?

Moodle? Any? Moodle? Hey, that's me, man. After a while, this is him talking. After a while, they said they were looking for a Beham Mutlu. The station quoted him as saying, I broke into a cold sweat when I heard my name. Oh, my God.

I told them I was Beham Mutlu. But they continued to search anyways. Because apparently there was 11 Behamutlus in the forest that night. He tells them, I'm Behamutlu. And they continue to search. They didn't believe me. They couldn't believe I was that fucking retarded. The truth came out when my friend, Messut, saw me.

They finally believed him. If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? Who was that game back in the day to tell the truth? I am Beham Mutlu. I am Beham Mutlu. I am Beham Mutlu. I am Behan Mutlu. I am Behan Mutlu. Mutlu said he was part of the search team for more than a half hour. Are you sure this didn't happen in Poland? Oh, my aching stem. Well, I guess we don't have to worry about Turkey as a threat. Hey, ladies and gentlemen, and anything in between, I'll be back performing stand-up in the state of Florida in just a few weeks. I'm going to be doing four shows at the Visani Comedy Theater in Port Charlotte, Florida on October 28, 29, and 30.

Where's Halloween on 31, right? I've got to be home for Halloween. You guys know I have a whole bit about Halloween and my first Halloween in Savannah scaring black people all night. We had, I told you, we went through 30 bags of candy. No shit.

I live on a nice main drag, a beautiful residential area. And yeah, I think we had out of the, we had, I'm not exaggerating, 75, 80 trick-or-treaters, I think we had five white people. And I found out black people don't like supernatural shit. So I was sitting there with my, what's that clown that eats kids? It. Oh, it is? Yeah, but what's the?

Pennywise. I didn't even know that. I ordered the mask just going, hey I like that mask, and a little black kid goes, hey man you Pennywise, and I go, who the hell's that? His father goes, you ain't get Netflix, nigga? I'm not kidding you. And he didn't mean it, a, you know what I mean? It was great. I had a black guy. Boy, it would have come a long way. A black guy calling a white guy in Georgia a nigger.

I got Netflix. We had such a great time. One lady got, I didn't even scare some of the kids. One of the parents took off when I sat up. I was sitting there like I was fake. And she drops her phone and breaks, you know. Never had more fun in my life. I had a cup.

My wife thought it was Sprite. It was half fucking Tito's. If you live in Port Charlotte, Venice, Naples, or Fort Myers, make plans to come out and see me again, 28, 29, and 30 of October at Visani Theater, Port Charlotte. Also, I'm back at the Plaza Hotel Casino in Vegas on November 12th and 13th, and I just added a few dates early next year in upstate New York, New Jersey, and on Long Island.

Get tickets to all those shows at nickdip.com. Click on the tour button. You know how it done. Let's roll, baby. Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. Violence against women act will allow non-romantic relationships to trigger red flag gun confiscation.

Why don't you just say random interactions? If you, you know, it's obviously a grab for guns, you stupid fucks. The Los Angeles Times, and I'm sure they were smiling, reported the VAWA, any idea what that is? I think I had it at a fucking sushi restaurant. The VAWA, which passed the House in March, contained language to expand federal domestic partner laws.

You guys are the most, they understand that it's in the words, in the language, and Republicans, where the fuck are you? They are schooling you. and Republicans, where the fuck are you? They are schooling you. Anyways, expands the domestic partnership to include boyfriends and dating partners. You see how they're always putting themselves in a position where they decide what something is,

whether it's misinformation, disinformation. That's their M.O. The expansion allows the inclusion of gun bans for boyfriends with a domestic violence conviction. Really? And also expands the prohibition to current and former dating partners, as well as those convicted of misdemeanor stalking. Does it apply to women? I don't see that language in there, huh? Because I know guys have actually been hunted down by women. But you know, this is coming out of the West Coast, the dumbest place on the planet. The prohibitive language was part of a

provision drafted by Rep. Debbie, I haven't seen a penis dingle in a decade. There she is. That's Terry Bradle in a decade. There she is. That's Terry Bradshaw in a wig about 10 years ago. You can't tell me that's not Terry Bradshaw. I know he's heavy now, but 10 years, that's Terry Bradshaw. Look at them eyes. He's looking at Howie Longo. God, he pretty.

That's Debbie fucking Dingleberry. Democrat, Michigan. Need I say more, who told the Times, I'm not trying to take guns away from most people, but if someone's demonstrated that they could abuse, do you understand we don't need another gun law on the books? Do you understand that?

We have too many already. None of them get enforced. You stupid fucks. Somebody commits a gun crime and they're back on the street in three minutes so what are you doing what are you doing meanwhile you're labeling parents who yell and raise their voice at a teacher's meeting as terrorists yet you're bonding out felons and shit and rioting and looting is does anybody see what the fuck this is all a plan to turn this country upside down? What is this that just popped up? Capture a quick note. Why don't you kiss my ass?

What the fuck is this? I hate the fucking... I hate everything about it. I don't like the way texting works. I don't like when I pick up my iPad. If I don't pick it up right, I hit a button and check. I don't like it the way it's designed. way texting works I don't like when I pick up my iPad if I don't pick it up right I hit a button And check I don't like it the way what's design. I'm not just saying I'm not a Luddite I know how to it sucks all of it sucks. It stinks You fucking fall. Oh, I can watch a movie on my that's horrific That's great. You can watch the Godfather on a three-inch screen. That's terrific Anyways, let me get back to this shit so I can get out offather on a three-inch screen. That's terrific. Anyways, let me get back to this shit so I can get out of here.

Take a nice one. Anyways, but they could abuse somebody, said the fucking woman who should never. Then we need to do something to prevent violence. Will you shut up? Will you? Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please? Dingell pointed to Gabby Giffords' gun control group as informing her decision to seek to broaden the prohibition. David Chipman, once nominated by President Joe Biden to head the ATF, is a senior policy advisor at Giffords. There he is saying how many times he's ever used a water pistol. In addition to expanding federal law to apply domestic partner rules to non-domestic partner

relationships, the text of the VAWA makes clear that the prohibitions contained within the act, listen to all this shit, gobbly goopy, goop, goop, boop. We just want to broaden it, take your fucking guns. Whether you're fucking the girl, you said hi to her, you met her once on Tinder, that's all. Stupid fucks. God, time for a revolution. Within the act, apply to relationships that are not even romantic in nature.

There you go. Get right to it. It's just so ridiculous. Eventually, they'll have footage, surveillance of you, you know, at McDonald's looking at a girl's ass. And then you'll, you know, they'll come to your house after you go to the shooting range.

They'll look you up. It's getting fucking... For example, under the heading, oh my God, the stories is more prohibiting persons convicted of misdemeanor crimes against dating partners and and subject to protection or is aren't we supposed to give people a second chance in this country huh oh my god i can't nothing in this paragraph may be construed to require that sexual contact between two persons have occurred to establish the existence of any relationship for purpose of this paragraph.

What does that even mean? For purposes of this paragraph, the term dating partner means with respect to person, a person who is or has been in a social relationship. Define that for me, you suck fuck. I bumped a girl's tit with my elbow at the mall the other day. Am I dating her now? Of a romantic or intimate? I don't even know what that, that last paragraph, I don't know if the person who wrote it is for or against this.

paragraph I don't think I the person who wrote it is for or against this yeah it appears that a social relationship that may be intimate but not romantic so what would that be you guys like I guess you're not afraid to take a dump when you're over at her apartment and vice versa that's intimate but not romantic what falls under the purview of the VAWA as well? You know what? Suck it. We can all see what you're trying to do. We have how many gun laws, seriously, on the books?

And the only ones who follow them are the hated people who belong to the NRA. Millions upon millions. Has an NRA member even been convicted of a murder? Somebody told me. I read in an article that hadn't happened yet, which I find hard to believe, but all I know is they're the ones that use guns for the most part for the right. You know, fucking Whitey, the dummies who are anti-vax that live in, they go hunting in Ohio and Michigan in the fall, those fucking idiots, you know, the civilized people.

Those fucking idiots, you know, the civilized people. Finally tonight on Beat My Meat, dad tackles pedophile. According to reports, a father in Oklahoma City tackled a local pastor, boy, these guys are relentless, who was allegedly seen inappropriately touching his son at a bus stop, leaving the... What an idiot.

You don't do that at a bus stop, leaving the... What an idiot. You don't do that at a bus stop. You take them behind the school. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Leaving the suspect with a cracked skull, good for you, and bloody mugshot. Lisa Ward, who witnessed the incident, said, there's hardly any words that are camera appropriate. It's just sickening.

On Wednesday, the 22nd of September, Oklahoma City Police arrested the suspect identified as 33-year-old Michael Coghill. He was arrested on a child sex crime complaint after being accused of inappropriately touching a boy waiting for a school bus. What in God's name has happened to this country? Hey, little boy, do you want some candy? I'm supposed to believe this guy's a pastor of a church? Oh, he's trying to be? It's the same way you become a Cub Scout leader and shit. I wouldn't. I'm not kidding you. If I had kids and I had a son,

I wouldn't let him near the... Anything. The Little League coach has to be at least 60 for me to trust. Any guy that wants to work with kids... Nick, that's horrible. I don't give a fuck. That's ignorant. I don't give a fuck. Look at this. His face is not damaged enough for touching a kid.

I guess the guy went easy on him, huh? Pastor of a church. I am like God and God like me. I am as large as God. He is as small as I. He can't hold above me nor I. But large as God. He is as small as I. He cannot above me nor I. But he's here for you. The age is 17th century.

Touch me here, Billy. According to the police report, Coghill lives in a community nearby. Residents said he's a minister at a church in Mustang. Ward said, I just thought he was a runner in the neighborhood. The victim told his parents that Coghill ran by his bus stop several times and touched him in a way that made him feel feel uncomfortable. You're raping me. This is rape. This is rape. This is rape. Ward said he knew the time. This is the dad, I think, right?

He knew the time he would be there every day. That was the hardest part, the most disgusting part. On Wednesday, the 22nd, the boy's father waited in his car to see if Coghill would return, Sergeant Dylan Quirk said in a statement. While he was watching the school bus stop, our suspect ran by him, ran past the bus stop where the children were waiting, turning around, came back and stopped where he touched the child. The victim's father ran after Coghill, tackled him to the ground. When the police arrived on the scene,

the suspect had visible injuries to his head and face. Ward said he was in the cop car all bloody. Coghill was seen placing his hand on the child's side before he moved his hand to the back side of the boy. The father recorded the incident, which was given to police and proceeded to tackle Coghill. According to authorities, Coghill's skill, skill, it says skill, his skill was fractured. His skill of grabbing boys' asses. Coghill's skull was fractured,

and his orbital socket cracked on the left side of his face. What about the right? Cog Hill is a pastor at, yeah, sure he is, and I'm fucking the flying nun, at Lake Homer Church of Christ, which issued a statement condemning the abuse. We were heartbroken to learn of the incident involving one of our four adult ministries,

and our hearts go out to the child family involved. We were shocked at this news as he had a clean background check, and we have received no reports or claims against him during his tenure. The statement added church leadership has no tolerance for any type of abuse and is meeting tonight to discuss just what kind of boys we like. What? Meeting tonight to discuss next steps. We will cooperate with the authorities as needed. You need to thank him. That is it for Beat the Meat today. I want to, again, thank all of you who tune in. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com, nickdip.com,

and don't forget, I'm finally getting some in here. They're starting to roll, thecameo.com. If you want me to roast a friend or relative, I'll make a message, send it right to them. That's it. You guys think and I will say it. You're very welcome. See you back here for the final day of the week tomorrow. Take care. guitar solo Outro Music