The Nick DiPaolo Show - Miss America Has Balls! | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1858

Episode Date: February 18, 2026

In this episode, Nick talks about Colbert's The Crybaby, Miss-or Mr America, Chinese Kung Fu Robots, Morocco Murders Mutts, ICE Agitator Busted, Nixon & Trump and Kennedy & The Kid! Use code nickdip50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 year at http://FactorMeals.com/nickdip50off The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

Welcome to the live lineup, boys and girls, where you get this show, you get louder with Crowder, and all those other shows scrolling by for free. You heard me. For free. You want it to add free? You got to sign up something called Rumble Premium. So do that. You'll feel good about yourself today.

And I'm telling you, the show's packed with all kinds of fucking recipes and talks about tits and books. and shag carpet and all kinds of AIDS. I've had enough. Good night. And good luck. Good luck with that AIDS. It's tricky when I heard. Today I'll be talking about Colbert. It's funny how these loses, even after they get canceled, never go away. Excuse me.

Anyways, he's pissing a moaning about something. We'll tell you exactly what it is. I tell you now, but I can't remember. here she comes no it's here he comes Miss America here it comes no no no it's a he

this one's a he unbelievable we are passed and the fact that people can't see what it is being done intentionally to the society what we call them Democrats and whatever also China is showing this strength with Kung Fu

robots. I don't give a shit if you get a black belt. I got a Phillips head. I'll take your part in three seconds. We got an ice agitate who finally got arrested. He was just throwing bricks at ice cars, you know, shit like that. And we got an interesting comparison, Trump and Nixon, what they've both been the victim of. It was very interesting. Hopefully you get to that. But before, I want to explain how to put in a drop ceiling. Oh. Why? Get out of the way.

Anyways, what's up, folks? How are you? Do you have me? I saw the weirdest, let's talk about food. By the way, I took too ambient last night. I'm flying right now. Flying yet, not flying. I almost feel like I took a, you know,

what, a X or something, kind of a drowsy. I did three donuts and a park lot across the street because I couldn't figure out where the X it was. My brain, I'm telling you, I'm going to be fried in a few years. It's going to be fun. Shall I really get fun. I'm flipping to the internet last night, like you should do when you can't sleep

in two in the morning. Always jump on that screen with that light. It's always good, boy. I see, quick, it's so funny, TikTok and shit. It's just like, and there's captions. This chef once show me this trick. It takes like a boneless, skinless breast, and puts an egg yolk under it and just pushes it down so the bottom's covered

with egg yolk completely, right? I don't know if you have to do that that way. But then he picks it up, puts it in a ladle, tucks it in a ladle, you know, with the egg side down, so you got like a cup. And then he sautees onions and mushrooms and

puts them in in that egg-coated chicken thing. And then folds it up and then puts it on a cookie sheet. So now it's upside down. It looks like a scoop of ice cream. And then he paints it with melted butter and then muts on top. I know. It's fine.

He made like six of them and puts them in the oven for like, I don't know, whatever, 40 minutes. And it comes out. You got this, it's almost like a poor man's chicken cordon blue. Whatever. It's fucking, they look like a perfect tit. Like a nice, I don't know, B, C cup. I haven't seen one for years, I can't remember. I'm doing it. I got all the shit in the house. It's weird.

I can't wait to tell you how bad it sucks tomorrow. You guys come on the screen. Says, Nick's out sick. Poisoned himself with some boneless breast that expired in December of 24, but he went for it anyways. I'm a food kamikaze. My wife says, I'll smell something that's on the fucking cusp. Fuck it.

I'm going for it. Fuck it, she leaves the house. I go, I'll cook the poison out of it. I told you guys. And it's a true story. I moved into an apartment in Wob in Massachusetts, right when I started comedy. And I'm opening all the cabinets, you know, in the kitchen. Like, second day there.

Find a can of spam. I'm fucking star, but I have no food in the house. I eat the spam. I guess. That's what's scary. It's like, if it's bad, it's going to poison me. And if it's good, it's going to poison me in the long run because it has so many preservatives in it.

You know, everybody always said that you can leave a McDonald hamburger like on your couch for fucking four years and nothing happens to it. I ain't got a problem with it. I'm sorry. I'm an unapologetic capitalist. I love fast food. I love shit like that. And all the years I've been eating, I don't get this shit.

shits and anytime I got this shit from McDonald's or Burger King, it's because I had 14 Heidgens the night before. And anybody's going to, you know, the green death would call it. And I really do think I have some type of spinal meningitis going on. Something is fucked up. We're going to find out. I got a physical coming up next week, I think. Pain from the middle in between the, I'm starting to sound like Crowder now.

I always got something wrong with me. Right in the middle of my, right here, up a bit of, back, right up the spine, and then goes into here. And if my head's at the right angle, it feels like it's, all I can picture is my brainstem where my brain stem is. I feel like an ache there. I swear I'm deadly accurate, religion. We shall find out.

Boy, this show become a lot funnier if I had ALS. You could film me coming in every day. You carry me up the stairs in my chair, and I'm just blinking. You're like, what? West Coast stupid? No. The other one. How is that even hurt? Oh my God, I'm fucking old.

I'm fucking old. There was an Olympic skater of this woman. Every time they talk about a female athlete from America, they have to do a piece about, oh, how put upon she was. It is, we are just a wah, wah, wah, I don't see the other, maybe they'd I'm not watching Russian TV, but I doubt it. I don't think the Chinese are doing an eight-minute piece on woman's empowerment when they should be,

because if you're a woman fetus and you grew up in China, you beat the system. That's empowerment. Avoiding the fucking coat hanger. I think that'll be the name of my autobiography. Avoiding the coat hang. I had that. You guys probably heard me. I've done that bit.

I said, I survived abortion. It always gets quiet in the car. club and I people all he leaned forward I go I said I my mother tried to have me a boy and I didn't realize it a few years ago I was looking through Christmas pictures I'm about I don't know six months old there's a picture me I have a piece of cocaine is sticking out of the back of my they try to hide it with a Red Sox cap they put a cap on the I'm a survivor I'm a survivor I saw her face what did I eat last night what do we have what the fuck oh my God I'll tell you I come home and there's frigate Publix fried chicken on the counter.

Honest to God, after pizza, it's breathing down pizza's neck. I also got up when I couldn't sleep. It was about, I'd say, 120, 130? No, I went to bed around that. Maybe it was after two. Went downstairs and had more fried chicken. Oh, man, was it good.

Holy fucking moldy. The Kellards were right about a few things. I, uh, that's so silly. Even when I was jarring, I knew that was stupid. It's like, no, it's a southern thing. And there happens to be a lot of black people down south. It's not fucking, but as far as the mountain do, they're right on the money. And watermelon.

And watermelon. Again, a lot of black people down south, a lot of watermelon down south. But you can't explain the grape soda to me. It's everywhere. They were just geniuses on that. All right. I had something else to tell you. But again, my mind is fucking fried.

Still kicking around taking the year off stand-up-wise. I told Tommy, especially because it is sleep thing. The way it is right now, when I wake up and somebody said, you have to do a show tonight, I'd be fucked if I didn't get back to sleep. And you can't go up there, trust me, folks. Especially when you're 64 and your memory isn't what it was. And you're only working on two and a half hour's sleep. It's like doing an open mic for the first time.

Let's get to the first headline is Left Wing Blow Hard That could be many people The late, speaking of that, Lettaman, Jesus, So they turn it to fucking bigger asses once they are out of the limelight. Late show host Stephen, and I hate to say that Because I fucking loved the Lettoman. I did a show a couple of times and all his comics loved it.

You know, he's funny, but he fucking, come on now. Colbert slammed his soon-to-be former network, CBS. Why is that, Nick? For pulling an interview with Democratic U.S. Senate candidate James Teller Rico of Texas, a frequent critic of President Trump. Really? He had an interview with a guy who doesn't like Trump, a politician. Wow. How to fucking get outside that bubble. In a segment that did air Monday night, the host laid out the exchange with the lawyers saying, and this is Colbert Talk, I was told in some uncertain terms that not

only could I not have him on, I could not mention me not having him on. He, was told by the FCC. And I guess they did the show and didn't air it. Colbert set to leave the network when the late show ends. God, finally, this may, not soon enough. The host who appears to have done the interview but did not air it on Monday's show suggested that the reason given for the killed interview was the federal commissions, I mean, communications commissions, that's the FCC, equal time rule, which requires

broadcast networks. and radio stations to give equal time to all candidates in an election. They were trying to do that to Rush Limbaugh when Russia's show was at its peak on radio. And they were saying it was unfair. But they couldn't find a radio show anybody wanted to listen to. I think they did one with my friend there, Janine Garfalo. It was called Liberal, something America, whatever. and it lasted about six minutes

because it's crushingly boring. She's not, but I'm just saying it was terrible. It's the FCC's most time-honored rule right after, this is him making a joke, Colbert, right after no nipples at the Super Bowl, Colbert joke before adding that talk shows have typically been given an exception. Well, maybe for you.

But he noted that in January, Trump appointed FCC chairman Brendan Carr issue new guidance dropping the blanket exception because some are allegedly motivated by purely partisan political purposes. Try arguing that to me. How is that not true? Why don't Stephen, why don't you do what you really want to do for a living? Host meet the press or fucking meet the nation or fuck the county. Why don't you? Why? do you do that? One of those Sunday morning shows where you can be as partisan and as

snide and glib and pompous and sanctimonious as you are. No need for laughs. We'll get him at home. Just trying to watch you interview somebody seriously. Well, sir, you're chairman of the FCC so FCC you,

the funny man said. Really? Who said that? Because I think you are motivated by partisan purposes yourself. Sir, you smelt it because you dealt it. I'm going to stab you through the heart with a fucking pencil. Do you understand me? He concluded, let's just call this what it is.

Donald Trump's administration wants to silence anyone who says anything bad about Trump on TV. That's funny. I remember the Biden administration coming up with something called the truth panel that was going to decide what was fact or not. Remember the woman? She sang a silly song. Do you guys remember that?

The Department of Misinformation. Wow. See that? He dated misinformation for like two years. Shut of dick. Talk about misinformation. He was misled on a Tinder page. Misinformation. I get there and he's Mr. Information. Anyways, because all Trump does, he says, is watch TV, okay?

He's like a toddler with too much screen time. He gets cranky and then drops a load in his diaper. Yeah, as opposed to Joe Biden in his late hundreds. He used to, he cut a fart in front of the Duchess of Cornwall. Suck a dick and die, you fucking motherless fuck. It's the type of language that when I went to my wife's brother-in-law's funeral, one of the old guys, somebody brought up my show. And he goes, yeah, I couldn't listen to that, filth.

I said, how'd you like to be in the casket next to him? No, he's an older guy. And he's, once again, sharp as a tack, so it pissed me off. The interview with Tellerico, whose Democratic primary rivals include Rep Jasmine left the money on the dresser, Crockett, ended up being posted on Kobair's YouTube channel. The show was not prohibited by... Now, see, how about even there?

It's still good on YouTube, and then you think what they do to Crowder, who had almost 5 million subscribers on YouTube, and they demonetized them. Do you see what we're up against, folks? And why right now, it seems to... To me, from watching all the news, the left is crushing the argument about ice and shit. Or maybe it's just I'm being influenced by what's coming on my phone.

I just feel like the rights losing a PR battle on this one, when it shouldn't be. The show was not prohibited by CBS from broadcasting the interview with Rep James Telerico, a CBS spokesperson said in a statement, the show was provided legal guidance that the broadcast could trigger the FCC equal time rule for two other candidates, including Crocket, that would have been funny. You know what? If Crocket got equal time, she'd end up taking over his slot. She's so funny and ignorant.

The show would be called a crock of shit. Crocket and presented options for how the equal time for other candidates could be fulfilled. Excuse me. Anyways, he's like, yeah, but there's always been an exception for, like, late night show. There you go. which are usually dominated by who? Mm-hmm. Go away, Stephen.

Go to fuck. Like I said, he will end up probably, matter of fact, I think CNN would jump all over him. Let me say that because many of my things come true. He'll become a pundit somewhere

because he's already done the comedy funny, ha-ha shit, and it's obviously he's tapped out of that. I can just see CNN going, hey, he's still, you know. It's going to be their effort of trying to find their gutfeld. Yeah. Yes, sir, Bob.

So, but, you know, you know what the problem with that is with them, we're already surrounded by that garbage, that left-wing horse should opinion. So when you do do a show people, like, it's more the same. That's why Gutfeld's refreshing, you know. Anyways, folks, you want to eat better, but don't have time. Do me a favor. Check out factor.

No meal prep, no following recipes, just real food in two minutes. Factors meals are designed by dieticians and prepared by real chefs. With a wide variety of weekly options, you'll never get bored. Trying to keep a specific diet, factors GLP1 friendly, high protein, and calorie smart meals make it easy to eat healthy. I have had the garlic chicken, which is my best in the, what was it? It was an enchilada? and it doesn't taste like two-minute food, I'll be honest, it's very good. Always fresh, never frozen.

Enjoy home-cooked meals with no prep, no stress. Head to FactorMeals.com slash Nick Dip 50 off. And use code Nick Dip 50 off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. Eat like a pro this month with Factor. New subscribers only varies by plan. one free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active. So it's a good deal.

Try factor. Also, when you're in the buying mood, go to nickdip.com. You go to the merchandise page. Holy Christ, like walking into T.J. Max. I don't know what that is. To support the show, head to nickdip.com for merch. We've got hats, hoodies, t-shirts, mugs.

In other words, all the shit you can't find on other podcast web. I said with a bit dick in my mouth. Wear it and piss off the right people. Also, want to send the personalized video to somebody so I can say what you're thinking, but you won't take the head I will. Book me to send a personal video

at something called shoutout.us. S-H-O-U-T, capital-O-T-U-S, shout us. Anyhow, it'll be worth your time. and it supports this show here. I can get a beaded thing for my seat. Let's go on to the next story. What would the Nick DePaul show be without a tranny?

You're going to be honest. They keep it fresh, these crazy bitches. There he is, Miss America. While the Miss America pageant has long been known for featuring the most beautiful game, I mean, women in the country, organizers are now opening the competition up to biological men

and removing the crowns of those who disagree. Perhaps you'd like me to come in there and wash your dick for you. Holy moly! Are you understanding, folks, where we're at? And it's all a play right out of the Communist Handbook. And I don't understand how we haven't dropped the gloves yet

started pulling guns on each. It can't be far. It's not about politics anymore. The left made a decision years ago. Maybe when Trump came down to escalate. We're not going to agree with one thing. Even if they're right, we're not agreeing with it. We're just going to, because we know we're wrong about a lot of shit,

we're just going to say we're fucking right. That's where we're at. And to me, when you get to that point, something's got to give at some point. How much longer can you fake going now? That's all right. You threw a brick at a cop, let it go. I don't.

Anyways Miss America All the guys would watch it for the bathing suit competition And the funny I hope I get this story Rick Chrome is a gay comedian He used to hang out at the comedy cell

A great guy He was on Louis show with me on FX and shit And he's a Republican by the way You know But openly gay and shit And there was a bowl game on one night The big bowl I can't remember what it was

And he's on a phone, that's how long ago. And he goes, Florida? And John Manfredelagh goes, is he talking about the orange ball? And then Rick hangs up and he comes over. Miss Florida won. It's a true story.

Oh my God, that table didn't stop laughing for three days. Miss Florida. Just a bunch of heterosexual guys look at him. Man, what do you thought he was talking about the ball game? I love life. Anyways, here's what you're going to see in the future on Miss America. Bring it. Speaking of the trans thing, I don't know if you heard this.

Miss America is now allowing trans people to compete. That's Sarah. So now they've got updated rules. Contestants have to be women aged 18 to 28, unmarried, no children, and U.S. citizens. However, women, air quotes, includes those born female or an individual who was fully completed sex reassignment surgery via vaginoplasti. Have you tried the vagina plasm? Holy Christ. The garlic croutons on it.

Mink you. When Miss North Florida, Kaylee Bush, oh my God, stop with the... Life's too funny. What happened to Christine Clit? Well, she lost her crown. She was caught going down on a German shepherd in the snow. What?

Kaylee Bush refused to sign a contract. God bless this woman. that featured the pageant's updated policies because it changed the language to claim that men can be considered women and eligible to compete. And she, because she disagreed that she was a stripped of her title. Exactly. See? When it's a conservative, they're fucking, and they call the right fascist. Oh my achin stem. Blaze TV contributor Matthew Marzden is as shocked as, Gonzalez, he says the mental gymnastics that they have have to go through, which is, by the way, going to tank the organization, it's going to be over, he says. He says before pointing out that it's,

it's a communist play. It is. It's the communist playbook, socials, common. They want to say that ugly is beautiful. They want to say, look at that beautiful building when it's really not beautiful. There was an ugly looking thing staring right at me. It was horrible. That's all right. goes, oh, it was you. And you go, oh, it's a concrete building. But isn't it funny? That's what they're doing, he says, and he's right.

What they're trying to do is mess with your head. I mean, really, they're trying to tell you, hang on a second. Beauty is ugly. Ugly is beauty. Don't look at this. Don't look at that. A man's a woman. A woman's a man.

That's exactly right. It's a head fuck. And half the country, not half. I don't know how many dumbac crats. But you buy it. You're that stupid. You believe what you hear at MSNBC, because that's where you get all your shit, and you buy it. And then down the road, we always prove you wrong on the big things.

I can't wait to watch the next one. I'm watching it. No, this will be the talent part of the show. You think I'm a bitch? Well, you're not that wrong. I put your man in a leash. I'm in a leash. Because I'm in our dogs.

I'm kind of a bitch. Yeah, the boys all know. Can I say you're the queen of me in maledita? Worse than that, he's Spanish. Can't even have it a white drag queen? Probably in here legally. Somebody smuggled him under a hoops skirt. What a bitch.

Did you hear him? That's a mental illness. That's a man wanting to be a woman and insulting a real woman. Like we've said many times, just throwing makeup and a dress on and go, that's all they are. Fake tits.

Did you hear? Ooh, I just wanted to jump through the TV. Oh, be tolerant. Stick tolerance up your ass. Bring back the electric chair for fags. Is that too much? It's not even a fag. I don't know what the fuck it is.

Last time I did a show at Foxwoods, this is going on three years ago probably. I told you I was sharing a dressing room with a drag queen show going on. They were going on after my show was over. So they were coming in and out. I'm like, how you doing? Like a big black guy with a,

pink dress. Huh? Yeah. Seeing you in that room. Would be worth the price of admission? Dude. I did say something funny to one of them. And to their credit, the guy laughed his balls off. I can't remember what it was.

I mentioned a designer. Some fucking shit. He got a kick out of it. The best one was when I did a gig in Chicago, I told you this before. And it was a strip club. Comedy Club was attached to the strip club.

And the strip is had to go through our green room to get to the... I'm talking pretty women with no fucking tops and shit on. So I went out, I went out when they introduced me with a hard on. Nobody noticed, very upset. All right, let's get to it. Karate chip, not chop, chip. Not pick chalk, pork chalk, karate chip. China has unveiled a new generation of robots performing

Kung Fu. Is it really kung fu? Or they just, the people who wrote this described the, everybody was a Kung Fu fighting. Remember that song? People in your late 80s? Ah, Dallas has it. Because their chips were fast as lightning. It was a little bit frightening. In an effort to showcase its technological might to the West, I don't know if that's what they were trying to do. Really, you think this is going to scare the West? You have a a bunch of robots to a scene from Westside story. And you're saying, what do you? Two dozen humanoid's before martial arts.

It says park hour. I don't know what that mean. What? Parkour. Oh, park car. It's kind of. And breakdancing and what the Chinese embassy in Washington call a demonstration of precision, power and perfect balance.

Yeah, as opposed to the fucking, as opposed to the you know what, the freestyle snowboard. I was watching that last night. I want to dig up people who did the Olympics in the 20s and go, look at this. Look at what they're doing. You know how we have ski jumping?

The guy goes, and they do this. I think they still have that. But now they've combined that we're doing flips and shit. Is anybody, they're fearless. And they all landed perfect. It's fucking. I couldn't. believe it. Takes a lot to shock me, and I'm sitting not really. I just couldn't believe what I was

seeing. Anyways, the display was broadcast on state television during China's spring festival gala, the Luna New Year's Eve show that is the country's biggest TV event of the year, and people have forced a gunpoint to watch it. No, and seen as a plank of Beijing's propaganda efforts for its citizens and the rest of the world. So they march out these robots, and it's pretty damn, I mean, but it looks like Dallas, what's the name of that Chinese play? I think you went to it too. Shin Yu? What is it? Is it Shin Yu?

No, that's what we had to lunch yesterday. Yeah, I think it's shin you or you send him. Yeah, I think you're right. It's a Chinese thing they've been doing for years and it travels the world and it's an unbelievable spectacle. Andy made me go watch it and I was out like a light for him and it's in. No, it's fucking amazing. Like they go right into the background and disappear.

Like, it's fucking insane. Anyways, this is the latest robots. And again, it looks more like dancing. They're not really scaring me. But it is very impressive when you think all this is on a chip. Go ahead. Freak out. It's American music.

Now that's fucking weird. Unbelievable. They did a backflip. Now I'm sitting here going. And again, I know I'm probably wrong on this one, but how do you know that's not AI? I'm just saying I want you to look at that. I guarantee that's true.

I'm just saying when you watch it, don't take it for granted anymore. I don't care if it's a dog jumping over fence. Don't take it for granted because they're going to use the AI. They're already used it just like they use television to fucking lie to you. Now they get visuals. It can make you think that Trump really shot a baby in the park. You know what I'm saying?

So I'm just saying, but that, you know, we know that the Chinese, they steal our intellectual property and they turn it into, like I said, fucking East Side Story. Why don't I say that the first time? So these robots, they're going to come up and want to fight you, right? I kill you. I kill you right now. Kill me. I'm right here. Kill me.

Okay. I come with two chops stick. I shove up your ayes. That's what they sound like. Two chops stick. Come over here. Talk to me in the face. Like some booty.

Oh. That'll never not be funny. Unitary. Is it not a charity to save trees? The robotics company behind the machine said it planned to build as many as 20,000 humanoids and take over the NFL halftime show. That's right, he said, no more groids, no more Ricans. Huh?

China accounted for 90 PC. That would be percent of the global market for hemorrhoid robots, a humanoid. The robotics display in Beijing featured. unitries robots punching, kicking, back flipping in unison, as well as wielding nunchucks, vaulting over obstacles like the United States in Canada, and running up to nine miles per hour. Come on, black people are laughing at that. How about the speed skaters last night? They're touching 35, 35 miles an hour on skates.

I, boy, I, I've taken the Winter Olympics off. for a few years, haven't watched the last couple. And the shit's evolving at, and you know it's all, you know these kids that do all those snowboarding shit, they just spoiled rich brats, but I don't give a fuck. They did something with that shit. I can't believe.

People used to get excited when they did a, 360 or a four, you know, keep adding 180, 4, whatever, they are doing six and seven turns. now. They are that high. And I mean, sticking the landing with their feet together, one guy's ass touched the snow a bit. That's, I didn't see anybody fall, female figure skating. One woman, the one that said, they don't want a woke bitch at the Olympics, because she's a, I think she's gay. She's, she got the LGBT, whatever the fuck. Yeah, well, she was one of the favorites. She ended up 13th because she dismissed a jump.

She didn't fall. She just didn't get to it. Boy, did that make me happy. I was yanking it. Anyways, here's the other robot companies, in case you want to get one of these for your kids. Galbit, Notex, and Magical Lab. They call it a Magical Rab.

Also paired at the event. The demonstration drew sharp comparisons to a less emphatic display from the same company last year in which Unitree's robots awkwardly shuffled on the stage. I remember this. We weren't that impressed. And waved red handkerchiefs. That's faggot stuff.

You want to call it by its name? That's strictly for fags. And that was the head of China saying that, Jing Ping. Who builds a robots that can do this? Make it a white flag. At least he can surrender. You can't imagine how fast Chinese humanoid robots are evolving,

the Chinese embassy said in the U.S. post on Facebook. China's growing prowess in humanoid robotics has raised security concerns. And oh, we'll catch up. We're busy watching the fucking Atlanta housewives and shit. Get off our back. The U.S. think tank ran, warned last year, Beijing superiority in this sector could lead to dependence on Chinese robotic firms for this critical dual-use technology. I don't think so.

Not all Trump's here. We're already getting ahead of everybody else at AI, you know. Just the greatest administration ever. You can suck my ass if you don't like that. Yeah, but what about ICE? What about it? What the fuck about it? Am I going to see? Will we get into it?

Yeah, okay. Let's move on to millions of mutts murdered. Kind of an Olympic store. I didn't know what to think of this. I thought they were a little premature. Animal rights groups have expressed outrage over Morocco's alleged killing of millions of stray dogs ahead of the 2030

FIFA World Cup, yet the Chinese restaurants are all for it. They say, mail over here. You mail 3 million over here. We open many restaurants. Here's a few. Here's a few of the dogs they missed. There you go.

They should have been killed at the D. fucking Olympics in America for it. Look at those. Look at that. It's a schnauzer, a black lab, and a snouty cunt. Anyways, back to the show. Organizations such as the International Animal Welfare

and Protection Coalition, that's the IAWP, CQRX, T, Elemental pooh. And Peter have criticized Moroccan officials for culling the population of roughly 3 million stray dogs. What are you going to do? I got to do what you got to do.

Oh, it didn't hurt them. The animal rights organizations have reportedly released images and testimony. How do you know it's not AI? Claiming that Moroccan officials are resorting to using harsh methods, which, you know, other countries don't look at dogs

like we do, not all of them. Using harsh methods such as clamping dogs by the neck. My dad used to do that to our dog when he get out of line with his hand. No, that was my mother, not the dog. Loading them into trucks and poisoning or shooting them before disposing. See, there's no need of that. You know what I mean? If you've got to call that many dogs, you don't have to be nasty about it.

Do it the fucking right way. fire up the ovens. Tell them work, sets them free. Anybody? In a 91-page dossier to Fifea from the IWP there were photographs documenting poisonings. Well, where are they? Don't tell me about them. Put them up. For starvations and the shooting of dogs.

The organization has claimed that after Morocco was confirmed to be one of the countries hosting in 2030, Jesus, it's four years from now, right? Fife for World Cup and you're going to kill all these dogs in the name of soccer? Fuck that. I'd kill people.

You know who should we call? Fucking, you know what? Drag queens. The killing of stray dogs has increased dramatically. After the World Cup confirmation, the extermination of the dogs has increased dramatically. Somebody stated, adding that the fear is that Morocco

will proceed to kill millions of... Boy, they're getting to jump on it. How long did it take you? I figured you could kill $3 million in about a month if you really work at it. You know I mean? All you've got to do is you take a nice piece of road. They love beef the dogs. Just to get a part roast.

Put it on every car on every highway in Morocco. And you just, they'll be. Katie Cryer, a spokesman who, perfect last name for somebody who works for like Peter, Cryer. a spokesman for Peter accused Moroccan officials of not attempting to hide the fact that dogs are being poisoned, shot and burned alive. See that? That's uncalled for. To clean up for the 2030 World Cup.

Well, again, if you're going to do a story like this, can I have some footage and some pictures? Because I've seen in China what they do. You know what I mean? They ain't afraid to publicize it in China. China. Yeah, what are you going to do about it? Anyhow, let's get to this one because it's going to lead me into a story I saw on the news locally here in Savannah

that got me so upset. I couldn't even watch the rest of these singles ice dance competition. And broads have some beautiful asses. Oh, my God. No, no tranny's there. When's that going to happen? Tranny dancers. Aye, aye, aye.

Blockhead busted. A mask of brute. who went on the lamb after hurling a huge cinder block at ice cruisers during a riot in Los Angeles faces up to 20 years in prison. Oh, sure he does. I'm sure he does. Until he gets in front of a judge who graduated from Yale four years ago named Margaret Steinwell and has a tattoo of ice with a red cross going through it on her left tent.

She has any. El Pidio Rainia, 41, caught on a. video 41 years old slinging rocks at these vehicles as they raced past him during the attack near a Home Depot in

Paramount and that was on June 7th I am the Frito Bandito I love little pumpkins I love them I do I want frittos chips and I take them from you aye

I God, what happened to the good old songs with nice racist lyrics and we could laugh. Anyways, he ended up on the FBI's most wanted list after going on the run, but was cuffed by the same agent he targeted a month later at the U.S. Mexico border. What are the fucking odds of that? Rainia from Compton on Tuesday pleaded guilty to one felony count of assault on a federal officer. by deadly or dangerous weapon resulting in bodily injury. Here he is working out for the Phillies.

They're looking for a closer. U.S. Border Patrol has arrested a man who was on the FBI's wanted list for allegedly hurling concrete blocks at federal agents during the violent anti-ice riots in Los Angeles in June. Those would be called bricks. The moment in question was captured on video you see playing here. Officials identified Elpedio Raina as the masked brute in the clip. He was finally busted by agents on Wednesday at the U.S.-Mexico border, and to make the justice

even sweeter, for the officer who took him in, it was personal. U.S. Attorney Bill Assali said he was taken into custody by a U.S. Border Patrol officer who was inside one of the vehicles damaged in the attack, a brave law enforcement officer who could have been killed in last month's dangerous and reckless attack. Assali also released a video showing the arrest in which the downtrodden 39-year-old is hauled off in Cuffs. Oh, now he's 30. Hey. As he found out the hard way, violence against law enforcement is not constitutionally

protected, protected, and will be met with a swift justice. Who said that? The famous. This year, we're going to grab the bull by the balls and kick those punks off campus. He added those who engage in similar violence will be arrested, charged, and eventually convicted in a court of law. Rainia had initially fled to Mexico after authorities blasted out images of him to track him down the following the attack. He was detained by Mexican authorities in the state of Sinaloa earlier this month, but later agreed to surrender to the FBI.

He was taken into custody at the San Ysidro Port of Entry. At the time of his arrest, Attorney General Pamela Bondi said, check out my breasts. You can run, but you can't. not hide. She said that to me after I bought her cup of coffee. I'll tell you. You can run, but you cannot hide. If you attack a law enforcement officer, we'll find you, and I'll spank you with my left hand. Rainia will be sentenced on August 7th. That's the sette for you grease balls and faces up to 20 years of federal prison. Of course it won't happen. It's probably already out. Eating a soft taco. And by that, I mean his boyfriend's

Jesus H. Eloise. Predicting I have something seriously wrong with me. If you see me blinking in a wheelchair in a year. Let's move on to this. This is a kind of a dry

story, but again, when Nixon was around, I was about 10, when all the Watergate shit went down. That's when I actually, even at that age, us young people kind of, you know, was our president and we knew he was in trouble. So Nixon and Trump both

Deep State Victims is a headline. Seven recently uncovered pages from Richard Nixon's 1975, I could hit by a car, they had a grand jury testimony indicate that the former president was undone by a coup d'etat contrived by the deep state, a theory previously argued by Tucker Carlson and our old buddy Roger Stone. In June of 1970, Stone used to work for Nixon, by the

In June of 1975, Nixon testified before the Watergate Special Prosecution Force and a couple of members of a federal grand jury. A portion of Nixon's 297-page transcribed testimony was previously sealed, considered too incendiary to share with the rest of the grand jury. While most of the transcript was released by the National Archives in 2011, a seven-page segment remained withheld. Well, that doesn't smell the high heavens. The answer fills an important gap in the record of the Nixon era and carries significance for our own. Last week, the New York Times published a guest op-ed from reporter James Rosen detailing the contents of those seven pages that were left out for the first time. The newly uncovered portions of Nixon's testimony revealed that he became aware in December of 19th, 71 that Navy yeoman Charles Radford had secretly copied roughly 5,000 classified National Security Council documents.

That's a lot back in 71 because you had to do it with silly putty. Including documents nab from the briefcase of Henry Kissinger. There is Henry right there. Henry was, his most famous quote was the most powerful. Adesiac is power. He said that when he was managing a fucking Walmart. That was very surprising. He's getting pussy for that.

I didn't. Briefcase of Henry Cassidy, who was then National Security Advisor, Radford then shared those documents. So Radford was working with Henry and stealing documents out of Henry's briefcase. Those documents with Joint Chiefs of Staff, Radford would bring him to the Joint Chiefs of Staff, otherwise known as a deep state in this situation.

Kissinger went on to become Nixon's Secretary of State in 1973 and one of the most brilliant guys to do it. But also you hear a lot about, you know, the whole pedophilia horseshit. I'm just saying. Yoman Radford was Kissinger's top note-taker. He had been with Kissinger on secret trips to Paris when we were trying to end the war. He had been on all of those trips and had been the note-taker and knew what Kissinger's had said and what the other side had said, Nixon. This is Nixon's testimony. He stated that Radford broke down when he was given a polygraph. Believe that shit? I do.

He said he broke down when he was given a polygraph. He cried and virtually admitted his guilty said. The reason that we couldn't prosecute and wouldn't was that if we did, he then would expose and could expose these highly confidential exchanges we were having to bring the war in Vietnam to a conclusion. conclusion, Nixon said. He said the cock-sucker cried. Nixon believed that the joint chiefs of staff opposed. Sound familiar? His foreign policy, including his goal of ending the Vietnam War and Radford's spying might undermine and sabotage these policies. You fucking people, you have no idea how to defend a nation. Nixon's testimony revealed that he had initially wanted to pursue charges against those involved in the spying efforts, but ultimately chose not to publicize the incident to protect the sensitive operations

and the military's reputation, which you know the deep state wouldn't do or the left. They were glad to, they're the ones who leaked shit. He called it a can of worms. This is Nixon. That was not worth opening, urging prosecutors not to probe the affair deeply. And the prosecutors agreed. Joint Chief's spying formed only one prong of the campaign against Nixon, the most spied on President in modern times, Rosen wrote.

The answer fills an important gap in the record of the Nixon era and carries significance for our own era. The classified portion of the grand jury transcript obtained by Times' opinion bears directly on allegations by President Trump and his supporters about the existence of the existence of what was once called the permanent bureaucracy, better known as today's deep state. Okay, it's always been around. And it seems to work a guy,

more so Republicans with an R. You notice, what is the fucking the nature of our guy? You know what? I think it was a mistake going, yes, you can have communist and socialist parties in America. Right? As far as religion, yeah, you can have all the religion and shit that you want. But no.

God bless McCarthy. I don't give a fuck what anybody says. Here's my boy Nixon. And this is when I remembered watching this shit. And this isn't the night he resigned. But this is one of the speeches that I, I think I have a sound drop of him saying something like this. But he was a great communicator, by the way. He didn't do good in the debates against Kennedy because he was sweating.

Kennedy looked like a male model and Nixon's over there fucking he's got a band dana on fucking but one of my favorite and they said even they got people that hated them the people on the left said he's really

fucking smart dude go Nixon and I want to say this to the television audience I made my mistakes but in all of my years of public life I have never profited never profited from public service I've earned every sense

and in all of my years of public life, I have never obstructed justice. And I think, too, that I can say that in my years of public life, that I welcome this kind of examination because people have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook.

I've earned everything I've got. President? Yes, sir. See the body language? See the body language? Like Mussolini? What do you got? I accept this type of an examination

because the country has to know whether their president's a crook well I'm no crook or let me just say this I never did anything wrong and I promised never to do it again that was Rich Little doing want to see the greatest Nick's impression got a Rich Little. Finally tonight on your sister's

big fat hammer toe Kennedy and the kid what? Anybody seen the clip of Michael Jordan grabbing the little white kid's ass. Have you seen that, Dallas? A couple days ago. Over the weekend, Michael Jordan owns a NASCAR team. They won Daytona 500.

They're in the fucking victory area. They have a bunch of people and his little white kid with, looks like he's five, six with his back. And Michael Jordan keeps pinching his ass. And of course, again, if that was a white fella, it would be all over the fucking place. It's amazing how they bend over backwards. I saw some black dude like on the internet, like on TikTok going,

you ain't the king no more, Michael. I don't know what that was about, dog. And he goes, more disturbing, a bunch of people around, I didn't even do anything. It's a black, young black kid saying this. It was, fuck, Google it when you get a chance. I could put it on the show, but that takes effort. Anyways, finally, Kennedy and the kid,

Health and Human Services Secretary, who I like, Robert F. Kennedy. You know why? Because he walks his own walk. He's a poor boy. makes me nuts, but I'm just saying he's from a very liberal family, but he sees the light and where the Democrat Party's going. And he's insincere about the health of people. And he works out.

And he's like, I like him. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has filmed himself taking a cold plunge and a dip in the pool and his trademark workout jeans. A 72 year old released a 90-second montage of himself. He's 72? Cheapest crow. working out alongside a shirtless kid rock. Just that makes me.

When's the last time fucking rock had a shirt on at home? On a social media on Tuesday in a bid to inspire Americans to get active. At one point in the clip, the HHS chief can be seen slipping into an ice-filled bath

and dunking his head, all while wearing his blue denim. Check it out. Get a side to that, baby. How can you not like this? fucking administration. Kid Rock must know my comedy. No, he doesn't.

All right. I've teamed up with Kid Rock to deliver two simple messages. This is Kennedy talking. Excuse me. To the American people. Get active and eat real food. Kennedy wrote alongside the video.

The footage, which quickly racked up more than 8 million views sparked a flurry of support for its overall, make America healthy again messaging. But some social media users were left scratching their heads. RFK seems to be a

never nude. One person quipped alongside a meme of arrested development character Tobias Funk, referring to his fictional psychological condition in which he can never be completely naked and wears denim cutoffs under his clothes.

You ever seen a grown man naked? Meanwhile, several others quipped, ice plunge with jeans is madness. And this jeans in the gym slash tubs. slash pool slash sauna everywhere thing is getting to be a bit much. Shut the fuck up. How's that affect you?

You humiless, dink. Kennedy, a known outdoor enthusiast, has raised eyebrows in the past for opting to wear jeans while working out, regardless of the exercise or the temperatures. They're just busting fuck out. But it is funny when they showed him, I think it was with Arnold when he was out in Venice Beach, which it doesn't get more muggy and humble. I'm telling you, I got a Tuesday, it's 98 in Venice. He's got fucking jeans on.

Everybody else says that, you know, I wonder if he's got those skinny Irish legs that they always try to hide. Oh, yeah, I'm going to leave my jeans on. And man goes to Asana. All right, kids. That is it for a Wednesday. Dallas, slow down the week, can we? Somebody?

Do you understand it? I feel like a guy on a luge. Head into the anyways Cameo.com, what is that? Well, that's if you want me to make a personal message, a video, and send it to somebody that you love or hate, and we can have fun,

making fun of them, saying happy Bob Mitzpah or, you know, making fun of their ankles and their fatty titties, all that stuff. Cameo.com. Extra lot of fun. Because people have to know whether this comedian's a crook. Well, I'm no hack. Well, let me just try this.

That's it. I got everything. You guys think and I'll say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here for the final day of the week tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of the day, kids. Hi, good night, everybody.