The Nick DiPaolo Show - Monday Night Fright | Nick Di Paolo Show #1329

Episode Date: January 3, 2023

Hit Heard 'Round World. "Fauci Files" To Be Released by Musk. Dream Weaver Driver. Get bonus content at www.patreon.com/thenickdipaoloshow

🎵 Oh yeah, welcome to the big show folks, how you is? It's freedom baby, yeah! Great to be with you on a filthy, what is it, Tuesday? A filthy Tuesday, state of Georgia. It's freedom, to say that, but that's how much sports I've watched my whole life and how much sports I've read and I know about getting hit in the chest and what could happen.

I swear to God, two minutes after it happened, I'm like, that's either this rhythmic, or he ripped an aorta. You can get hit that hard that you can... Anyways,

I said I'd wait, but I guess I'm not, am I? The fuck? I don't know. I said I'd wait, but I guess I'm not, am I? The fuck? I don't know. Woke up to, oh, my father-in-law passed away. I always want to start an up-note on a comedy show. What the fuck? God bless him. Great guy. Quiet guy. Hardworking. Raised good kids. You know what I mean? Did the right thing. Unlike myself. Coasting, jerking it. Useless. Good night, everybody. Yeah, he passed away yesterday.

yeah. So it's been a tough few years. My wife lost her mother unexpectedly like five years ago. She was in her 60s. Her brother died in his 30s a year before that. And then her cousin, who was just at her

house, Christ, not even a year ago, fentanyl. It's been tough. My wife's a sweetheart. I'm not cold like myself. So it's been rough. But she's much better today. And, you know, my sister Donna

texted, you know, something about, you know, he's in a better place. Of course, I had to text back, funeral home question mark? No, I let it go. Again, because it's my wife's. Anyhow, I get this great egg salad recipe coming up later. So we got that to look forward to on the Nick DiPaolo show. I forgot to mention New Year's resolution. And you guys are going to laugh at my face. I think I'm done with sports on TV.

It's enough already. I was just telling Dallas about it. He spit his coffee right in my face laughing. Here goes another motorcycle where the guy punches a hole in it like he's 14 years old. I'd have more respect for these guys if they had fucking a baseball card with a close bit in their spokes. You're fucking 58 with a fucking beard and a fucking syphilis-ridden Brodner 60s with

tattoos sitting behind you on the bike and you're rubbing it up in front of my house. Fucking dickweed. Anyhow, anywho. Yeah, I'm just, enough already, dude. I mean, I just said to Dallas, baseball, I'll watch, I want to see, obviously, the Monday night college, which I might not because of death in the family, but the national championship and the Bruins are so intriguing this year. The whole hockey world is buzzing about them that I want to follow that to its fruition. Doesn't mean they're going to – if they go all the way to the Cup, that's early June. But then after that, enough.

Fucking Red Sox, you got rid of Bogart. It's never going to get better than 2004 when they came back down 3-0 to the frigging Yankees. That was the World Series. Nobody gave a shit about the Cardinals after that. It's never going to get better than that. It's never going to get better than Tom Brady and his 20 years in Boston, whatever. So it's just not going to get better than that.

I'm not a Celtics fan, and I don't follow fucking girls' college hockey anymore. After Providence fucked me, I had them a puck and a half with this bitch. No. So in other words, it's a hiatus until football season because you're not going to miss

football season next year. Do you have to see right through me? Dallas acts like he's a forensic. I really am a fucking riddle within an enigma. I know. No, dude. No, I know.

I'm going to try. Honest to God, I'm not bullshitting you guys. My parents will tell you. They still laugh about it. When I was five, I'd watch football with my dad on a Sunday, and then he'd go out and do his shit, expecting to come back in the house and see me playing with my Tonka toys, and I'm waiting for the four o'clock game like I got money on it, sucking on my fucking lollipop.

And I'm telling you, I wish there was a way of measuring how much football somebody's watched in their life. And I know we all think we've watched... I'm telling you'm it's a little it's an addiction like you said it's I'm not I'm worried I don't want to waste any more time I've seen what well I was going to say I've seen everything then you watch last night and I go this is why I watch this shit you never fucking know which is a good segue to get right into it never mind the Mexicans on my house at seven o'clock this morning on the roof, scraping and banging.

This was supposed to be two weeks of relaxation. I had fucking shingles for about 12 days. Meanwhile, Mexicans working on shingles. Yes. I really think there was a connection there. I don't know what it is, some type of psychic. I got half of South America painting my house, half of Central America, I still don't know the difference,

on the roof, and my poor wife, and then the it's, you know, I feel like I need a vacation as we're coming back, and Tommy's got me back on, I want to cry right now. I've done enough, folks. I've said everything I want to say, and it cost me showbiz career. Listen.

What is all this white? What the fuck? Oh, I thought that was coming off my head. I know I had dry scalp, but Jesus Christ. It's cream aura. Woo! Fucking what the fuck's going on? We'll do it live.

Okay. We'll do it live. Okay. We'll do it live. Fuck it. Do it live. I'll write it and we'll do it live. Fucking thing sucks. All right. Good segue into Monday night football horror story.

Buffalo defensive back DeMar Hamlin was in critical condition early today after the Bills say his heart stopped following a tackle during the Monday night football game, which was indefinitely postponed. Here is the hit that you guys probably all seen it by now he collapses after he gets up from making the tackle and let's take a look number three in life that's right to the heart I mean that's right to the heart. I mean, that's right to the heart. Not what any of us want to see, and everybody's around him, and just hope that he's going to be okay.

All right. So we'll take another... I feel bad for the friggin' announcer. What are you supposed to say? Hey, stop it. Apparently he's all right. Hamlin collapsed on the field during the first quarter of the nationally televised game against the Cincinnati Bengals

and was given medical treatment for nearly 20 minutes before being taken to a hospital. DeMar Hamlin suffered a cardiac arrest following a hit in our game versus the Bengals. His heartbeat was restored on the field, and he was transferred to the UC Medical Center for further testing and treatment, the Bills said in a statement. He is currently sedated and listed in critical condition.

Jordan Rooney, a family representative who described himself as a good friend to the player, told ABC's Good Morning America, I didn't show the clip because I hate that show, Robin Marowitz is getting married to her lesbian girlfriend after 18 years of, exact, why would that be in the headlines anywhere? after 18 years of... Why would that be in the headlines anyway? Her? Nobody... I'm sure she's a fine lady. I know I'm a rotten bastard.

I'm just saying. I know she's... I just hate her. She exudes PC-ness. Since she came on the scene 30 years ago, I've hated her. Gay black woman. But still, how many times

does a regular person getting married get mentioned? You know what I mean? Why is this not pertinent to anything? Well, she's does a regular person getting married get mentioned? You know what I mean? Why is this not pertinent to anything? Well, she's not a regular person. She's been a big name at ABC now for 30 years. I have never heard anybody else at ABC's wedding announcement. Well, I don't think that's true.

I'm sure. Well, you're jumping out of planes and chasing after daddies. You're not glued to The View in 1996. You don't know me. That is true. You're right, though. I'm sure we could come up with something. I'm sure.

No, Al Roker's NBC. He got caught fucking eight. Anyways, good morning, America. Hamlin's relatives, he said, are in good spirits, but going through a lot and they need their privacy. He declined to give details on Hamlin's condition other than to say he is sedated. All I can say is he's fighting. He's a fighter, Rooney said. Um, you're gonna eat lightning and you're gonna drop thunder. Uh, in a chilling scene, Hamlin was administered CPR on the field, ESPN reported, while surrounded by teammates. And some of them were in tears while they shielded him from public view.

He was hurt while tackling Bengals receiver T. Higgins on a seemingly routine play that didn't appear unusually violent. In my opinion, that's a big wrong. You know me. Nobody's watched more football. I swear on my mother. And when I've been on both sides, and I'm not saying I played at this level, but I've played defense and had to tackle a tight end 40 pounds heavier than me and get the wind knocked out of me, and I've blowed my shoulder, knocked the wind.

And it was a violent collision. I understand why lay people who watch the game said it didn't look that. Not all vicious hits are a guy doing a flip, getting his legs landing on his head. The collisions, and I'll bring up a specific example. What's his name? Drew Bledsoe, the quarterback who preceded tom brady for the patriots ran out of bounds that the hit that put him out and put tom brady in started brady's career i think it was mo lewis of the jets hit him as he was running out of bounds and i mean drilled him

you know uh again not as spectacularly the announcers were like, oh! But it tore an artery in Bledsoe's chest. He had internal bleeding. So that was my initial, when I saw the replay and when I saw him fall, I'm like, he, his aorta, something ripped.

You can, you know, it's those hits. Me and Dallas were talking, a car it's it's the difference between a car like uh t-bone and the back end of your car and spins you around as opposed to head on you know um and and so and the other thing and again i'm not bragging here of course my wife is upstairs because we had more important shit going on but i'm saying he either ripped something there or what came to my mind right after that was a little league story i did on this show about a year or two ago when a little league pitcher got hit with a line drive in the chest and it killed

him because it caught him between heartbeats and it knocks the you know you have the rhythm and uh it knocks your heart out of rhythm. It stops immediately. It's happened to a hockey player, Dennis Pronger. Dennis Pronger, is that his first name? Hockey player, big, tough defenseman. Got hit with a slap shot in the chest. He tweeted, actually.

And I remember this. Same thing. Fucking, they had to work on him. So, but I knew's now here's another whole controversy uh i didn't even finish the article um the announcers last night uh espn they announced on the air they they thought that the league you know they were on the phone with new york goodell on the air. They thought that the league, you know, they were on the phone with New York,

Goodell, and at some point the announcer said, well, the NFL said each team should go to the locker room for five minutes to compose or whatever. Which today it says they never said that. Because they're taking all kinds of heat. Because once again, the internet, why do we

even go there for? Everybody loves to shit on the NFL, and how can you be, at that point, they didn't fucking know, and what do you mean they didn't know, well, we've had many, many plays in the NFL where there's a head-on, a serious injury, they take a guy up on the spine board, you don't know if he's paralyzed or not, and you go back to playing the game, so at that point, they don't know this. Yes, they provided CPR to him and he was alive when they put him in the,

you know, ambulance from what I read. My point being, it was unprecedented what was going on. But the NFL said today, we never said go back to the game. So, you know,

you can believe who you want to believe, but everybody's so quick to point fingers, want to take the moral fucking high. It's an unprecedented thing, you know? So they're denying it, the NFL said, which I'm not a good Dow fan, but I sort of, I have to believe them in this situation because, you know, chest compressions, you can't go back out there. It's one thing for a guy to be laying on the field, you know, they roll him off, he gives a thumbs up on the stretcher and go back to playing the game because you know he's going to be all

right. Anyways, so Skip Bayless, this was today. Everybody, of course, every black athlete who hates Whitey, in my opinion, I don't mean every black athlete, the ones, Isaiah Thomas is of the world and who else? Oh, Des Bryant. They want Skip Bayless fired because at like 10 o'clock, now he tweeted, they're thinking about suspending the game. They can't because for what it, he said it's late in the season. This will have repercussions. At that point, and I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.

I don't think they knew the guy's conditions. I was thinking it too. Whether it's insensitive or not. I didn't think the guy was, you know, on his deathbed. At the end of the day, though, people are going to have to make a decision on what happens to the game. So it's obviously something that you have to think about. Exactly. And they did go to the locker rooms. And who knows?

Maybe the NFL did say that. But I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt that they said it. What is this, a sports show? Yeah, fucking that. They got Sully on line, too, coming in from Celtic. Hey, yeah, fuck that. Let's talk about the fucking Bruins. They haven't lost at home yet, Nick.

What are you fucking talking about? Who cares about this yarm? What? Cut. yet, Nick? What are you fucking talking about? Who cares about this yarm? What? Cut. Anyhow, I'm giving the benefit of the doubt. They didn't know how critical the guy was. Whatever the fuck. It's just, so Skip Bayless tweeted last night something about, you know, how can they suspend it? And of course, now, Isaiah Thomas, Hendrick, all the guys in the NBA, another black dude, he needs to be bitch slapped, whatever, you know.

Black guys, I love you. Fucking Shaq and Barkley are my two favorite probably people on the earth when it comes to shit, talking sports and politics where they meet and being honest, whether it's race or all this shit. Skip Bayless has a right to fucking his opinion without you wanting to punch him or say whatever and yes you have a right to say he's tasteless and shit but why do you always gotta and and i said to dallas you know what this is skip bayless is on a show with fucking what's his name shannon sharp where they scream at each other and you know what and i know it's all in fun and and and and But I know damn well the brothers sitting at home,

they're young guys, these athletes, hating Skip Bayless for being able to, you know, actually butt heads with a black person. I swear to God, that all fucking, that all weighs into why today they want to hang him. Hope you get fired, you bitch, and, you know, all kinds of horse shit out there. Did you understand how this country works, folks?

He has every right to fucking say that. You have a right to fucking say he's insensitive, call him names and shit, but to stop with, oh, he needs to be bitch slapped and fired, so you're for him. Yeah, why don't you go home and slap your pregnant girlfriend around? How many clips have we seen of you pro athletes?

How much goes on that we don't hear about? When you're at the fucking titty bar on the road at the Gold Club after a fucking game against Atlanta Hawks? You're not getting blown, are you? Shut the fuck up. And I don't even like Skip Bayless. I can't believe I'm defending him. But he's perfect. He's that whiny little white guy going up against a strong boy. He's perfect. You couldn't cast a better. So Disney, so ESPN. You know what? I just gave you guys the best commentary on this whole,

let me get back to this poor guy. What scares me is they were doing CPR for so long on him, which that means no oxygen to the brain, which I, you know, they say his vitals are normal, but that doesn't matter. You know? So, and they were doing it a long time. And you knew right away so i flip over to fox after about 15 minutes and jason sheffield's on uh he's a remember he's a former

he's a republican conservative senator from utah i think he's a little light in the lovage and he sounded like it talked the the crawl across the bottom of the screen says player collapses after play that's not what happened didn't clap after tackle he collapsed you know and then they're talking about doesn't look like a violent hit well how many times have you played football and put on hell you know i mean they saw and and thank god brian kill me who had a sports show on fox radio who does no sports called in and fucking said what I was thinking. He was more to the rhythmic thing. It's called Comeo Cordis

or something when your heart gets out of rhythm or whatever. Which is probably what happened to this guy. Anyways, you knew right away. You could tell right away. The first training, you see this panic look. And when you start seeing this, and the players, it was really, it was pretty upsetting.

The team statement was released before its flight or I back in Buffalo early Tuesday. There was no immediate update about the future status of the game. They sedated him and put a breathing tube down his throat. They sedated him and put a breathing tube down his throat. But, you know, again, if you're a sports fan, it was, and again, maybe I know because I saw that Bledsoe hit, and I couldn't believe that he had internal bleeding from it, but he got drilled right in the chest just like that.

So you going to say something, Della? Yeah. Didn't you play for the Vikings in the 70s? No, you weren't even around. Yeah, in the womb. Yes, he's a very light cornerback. So, yeah, that's a big goddamn deal. Honest to God. And let's pray the kid.

What was he, 24 or 26? 24. Seems like a good dude too. They showed a clip on the internet of him talking about when one of his teammates got hurt last year, him saying life is short. All this shit. Very creepy, but it's true. That is a really dangerous game. It's a blast. It's very American. It's very violent. It's being played by guys who are scary big and fast now. I mean, that's why you see so many linemen getting, they all wear knee braces. Your joints weren't supposed to have a 340-pound guy fall on the back of your legs and be fine. And they juice up to the point where they're, you know, and it's getting faster.

And that's why they took the head-on-head, you know, the fucking helmet-on-helmet, because somebody's going to get killed. And I thought we witnessed it last night. I just hope the guy got the oxygen, you know. But they were working on it for a long time. Anyways, enough of that. Go Patriots.

Yeah, Sally from... Yeah, Obi from Quincy. Give a fuck about the Bills. Let's move on to fucking fraud Fauci. That's the headline. Well, that was nasty. New Twitter boss, you know who it is, right? Charles Nelson Reilly pledged. New Twitter boss Elon Musk pledged he would release the Fauci files. Boy, this is better than CBS. Look at jerk off. Somebody just farted in the office. That's why he has that on.

Boy, he fooled a lot of people. I get all these books people gave me to read. I got to be honest with you, folks. I have an open one. They're fucking 800 pages long. I get football to watch. What did I say? Musk pledged he would release the Fauci files sometime within the next few days. The latest escalation in his war. Oh, again, in his war on Anthony. So bringing the truth out, actually taking quotes he said himself is a war this is how i teach you guys to read articles so right away i know whoever wrote this or whatever publication is left wing

literally came from the new york post so that's that's the untrustworthiness that even they have well no that's right the post is as bad as anything right now and then i you know why i see the articles it'll it'll be like articles by and the girl's name will be like Britney whatever the fuck and I will Google her and she is 11 with a shit in her pants. Having a tuna sandwich and giving her a point of view. But seriously it's kids. The war on Anthony Fauci, how dare you. The infectious infectious disease expert yeah expert we still calling that after after now that we look back now that we have in the rearview mirror how times he was wrong many times uh the infectious disease expert uh who has come under scrutiny for his covid uh policies so once

again it takes elon musk a very smart white fella, straight. Why are you saying all that, Nick? Because you guys don't let up on that. An African-American. He was the best guy around. Yes. Anyways. Hope you're having a great day. First day.

Day one of 20. I can't even read. These lights. We've got to do something. I've got to do something. I got to put on glasses, but then I'll look like a real asshole. How you doing, guys? Hey, girls. Hope you're having a great day. One of 2023 Musk tweeted on New Year's Day, adding,

one thing's for sure, it won't be boring. Well, thanks to you. Why does he always look like Christopher Reeve? That picture they put up right after he broke his neck. Must vow to dump more dirt came after Juanita Broderick. Remember her?

The former nursing home administrator who alleged she was raped by Bill Clinton when he was Attorney General of Arkansas in 1978. What do you mean? This is rape. This is rape. This is rape.

Oh, come on, darling. Quiet. They're going to hear you downstairs in the hallway. It ain't express. Posted a response to Musk's tweets, writing, waiting for hashtag Fauci files. Juanita Broderick. And Musk replies to her. The fuck is going on here?

I can't get a word with this guy. Musk replied, later this week, he answered her. Last week, Musk revealed that former employees of Twitter maintain a fawning Slack channel titled Fauci Fan Club. Right there. There you go. These are employees of Twitter. I guarantee you average age 25.

They're the big fans of Fauci. Even after we've proven everything, almost everything that came out of his dirty hole was wrong. You're still fans of his. What do you say when people say that to you? Young kids who are fans of him now. What do you say when people say that to you? Young kids who are fans of him now. What do you say to that? You don't follow the science?

No, we do now. We can now because it's two years later. But you still, what does that say? Oh, that means you just want to win your side. You don't care. So shut the fuck up. Hope you all die some type of a, huh? COVID.

Thank you. I was going sickle cell, which makes no sense. The tech mogul accused Fauci of lying about his role in funding, funding, do you hear me with my tooth missing? Funding

so-called gain of function research that some believe may have played a role in the spread of the coronavirus. Of course. You're lying. He is lying. And you're a piece of shit.

The NIH has denied claims that it supports gain-of-function. You sent money over there. He was the head of it. He was in charge of funding the NIH. I know the story. Research had any link to the worldwide COVID outbreak. The latest installment of the Twitter files last week by journalist David Swig accused the site of censoring info that was true but inconvenient to U.S. government policy.

Yes. Yes, it was. Do you remember the first doctors? It was over in Africa. Do you remember? They were like in white coats, prestigious doctors, black women, white guys of every stripe. And they remember they put up a thing saying, you know, their opinion on this, it came from whatever it was, and they shut them down. I mean, people with PhDs, they shut them down i mean people with phds well-known notorious doctors shut down that's how evil government is uh of discrediting doctors and other experts who disagreed with the government that's exactly what they did you fucking people you have no idea how to defend a nation

in his tweet thread musk also included a May 2021 article from National View titled Fauci argued benefits of gain of function research outweighed pandemic risk in 2012. See, that's in quotes, you Fauci fans out there. That's in quotes. Can you look us in the eye and say that he was wrong and admit you've been wrong on everything from fucking Trump being a Russian spy? Everything. Your impeachment.

All your horseshit. Mar-a-Lago. What happened to all those documents that Trump that went away in a hurry? Are you catching on? Christopher Reeve. Musk. Musk wrote in a caption of the tweet,

gain of function in this context is just another way of saying bioweapon. Exactly. Exactly. Hey, guys and girls and everything in between, and yes, I told you I've run into two fans of mine that are like actually trans. I don't count Dallas on that one. It'd be three.

Guys and gals, I'll be back on the road soon. Today's January 3rd. I'll be back on the, is it the 13th? My fucking aching stem. It's 10 days from now. It's not that I don't want to see you people. I just, I don't like meeting new people. I'm going to go do a cloud that I haven't done.

I just don't like meeting new people unless they have big tits. You say that now, but you're going to love it when you're there. You know you will. I have fun. Look, I'll admit that. But that's not the part that I get bummed about. It's the rest of it, which is more, when you figure out the time I spend on stage

as opposed to standing at the airport, hotel room by myself. Everybody, I mean, it's an old saying, but they pay us. They don't pay us to tell jokes. They pay us to wait in line at airports, break up relationships, All kinds of fucking. Anyways, Patrice O'Neill was almost honest. I go, Nick, I said, Patrice, you don't do

the road hardly. Man, I'm fucking lonely, man. That's what he said. And I'm like, amen. That's when I ordered that doll from Japan. What a ripper. Here's where you can see me. January 13th and 14th, comedy off-Broadway, Lexington, Kentucky. February 3rd and 4th, the Grove Comedy Club in Lola, Arkansas. March 11th and 12th, the Comedy Club of Kansas City in Kansas City, Missouri. April 21 and 22, the Funny Bone

in St. Louis and then in St. Charles, Missouri. You can get tickets to all the shows at nickdib.com. Click on the tour button. Yeah. Final story tonight. Dreamweaver. It's a song you guys wouldn't know.

I was eight. Ooh-hoo. Dreamweaver. A drowsy driver. This is my light story. Three kids were killed on the Autobahn in their late teens after finger fucking Kevin. What? A drowsy driver in Germany had his license revoked. I asked Dallas to give me one that wasn't football related, not the guy getting hurt or political.

And he found this drowsy driver in Germany had his license revoked after he fell asleep behind the wheel of his Tesla. Like, who hasn't? That's why they're so quiet. that's why I like a nice, I like a motorcycle to go by and wake me up with them, which had been driving on autopilot and accidentally led police in a 15-minute pursuit. Now these are German cops, they fucking, you know, they, that's German for where you're coming from none of your fucking business police on patrol and i hate that they asked me that in the jersey turnpike that was the first way you're coming from the fuck you give a fuck i'm coming for you huh your mom's house yeah that's well exactly you have to bite your tongue

coming from his sister's house she Yeah, that's exactly. You have to bite your tongue. Coming from his sister's house. She's in the trunk. Any other questions? Police on patrol in Bamberg. Oh, I love Bamberg. Attempted. That's Bamberg's.

No, of your whorehouses, right? Attempted to pull over a Tesla driving on, you know, Autobahn 70 towards Beirut. That's what it looks like. But the driver would not respond to stop signals or the repeated blaring of horns. Bamburg police tailed the electric vehicle for about 15 minutes without the driver acknowledging he was being asked to pull over, according to the latest release. What we've got here is failure to communicate. Officers noticed throughout the chase that Tesla had kept the same distance from the patrol car and kept at a speed of about 68 miles per hour. It also then became clear that the driver, a 45-year-old man, had his hands off the steering wheel and on his penas, that's French, and was reclining back in his seat with his eyes

shut like Mike Lindell on a pillow. After trailing behind the vehicle for about 15 minutes, the man finally awoke. Don't tell me he was sleeping for 15 minutes. Is the Autobahn that straight and do they have rails on it? Get the fuck out of here. Finally awoke and followed instructions from police. Did you write this joke? You wrote this article, didn't you? No. Following the checkup, police came to the conclusion that the man was Larry King. Apparently still alive. Nobody knows. He has a girlfriend in Bamberg. Hello!

You're on line 12. The guy was under the influence of drugs. Officer also discovered the driver had placed a, listen to this, a so-called steering wheel weight. Where do you get those? At the steering wheel weight store?

In the footwell of the car's driver's side. You're fucking crazy. According to the news release, this device is attached to the steering wheel to trick the vehicle's safety system by pretending that your hand is on the wheel when it's really choking a hooker. And the passenger side, oh, you fucking just got a horrible blowjob. I'm not, no, no, there's no fucking,

you gotta sleep for 15 minutes. I mean, no traffic out there? Police then filed a complaint with the public prosecutor's office in Bamberg against the man for endangering road traffic he will be shot at sunrise on sunday what spraken see deutsch as a result the man had to give up his driver's license until he appears in court and any scat films that he might be shooting. I have fallen asleep. I have a bit about it. We drove down

here. The day we moved down here, me and my wife, we drove through the night. She didn't know I had drinks before I left. It's always a good thing to do when you're trying to drive a good 17 hours. I nodded at the wheel, and it's happened before. Senior year in college, we

drive from Orono, Maine yes Orono, Maine to fucking Fort Lauderdale what even that's even retarded for back then what what in God's name and we kept switching drivers you know but the problem is the ones that weren't driving were the ones drinking. So then they would get in the seat. I'll never forget it. I'm on about hour two, two and a half, three. And I hear, I had a fucking mini dream. I still remember it. I was, I have a bit about it. You guys have heard it. They've seen me live. I was dreaming that I was buying a fucking car. Just, it was like a, it was a purple Mustang or something. Like a muscle car, just for a second.

And those things woke me up and scared the shit out of me. That's fucking, have you done that? I can't believe, have you ever nodded behind the wheel for a second? Oh yeah, no, the sleep strips are a godsend. Yes, unless you're headed to the chuckle hut in Minneapolis,

then you wish you careened off the fucking cement retaining wall. All right, that's enough. That's all I got. Hey, let's say a prayer for that guy from Buffalo Bills. No shit. Let's say a prayer for Skip Bayless.

He doesn't get knifed by having an opinion that goes against you fucking morons. I'm not even agreeing with, I'm just saying he has a right without you threatening, violencing. And we know who you are, Isaiah Thomas, who said Larry Burwee just another player if he was black.

Shut the fuck up. Never liked that guy. I think him and Magic used to suck each other's pricks. That's what Al Barber's father said. And we said, we laughed in his face, the old town guy. He was a degenerate, great gambler. I said, you think Magic Johnson's gay? We all laughed. And not even six months later, Magic comes out with the HIV.

Not saying he got it from, but sure, shut us up. And then I saw him on that show, Dancing with the Queers. I go, that's it. All right, that's it. You guys think it, I'll say it. You're very welcome. See you back here tomorrow. Take it easy, kids.

Hi. Good night, everybody. guitar solo Outro Music