The Nick DiPaolo Show - More Minneapolis Mayhem | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1837

Episode Date: January 9, 2026

In this episode, Nick talks about Attempted ICE Murderer Put Down, Another NFL Abuse Story, Plane Loses Rubber, A Walrus Dick, Gay Sheep, Cartel Busted and Ole Miss Vs. Miami! The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

Don't give me that smart out of your shit. Folks, welcome to the live lineup where you get my show, Lauder with Crowder and all these other great shows for free. If you want it ad-free, Rumble Premium is what you wanted to do. So follow my channel, download the Rumble app, and know you did one right thing today. Maybe you did two. I don't know, maybe you tapped the wife.

You fed the cat. Same thing. What? Anyways, I'll be talking about, obviously, a wet dream come true for the left. Well, I say, I put it this way. Wait a minute. Attempted ICE murderer.

Is that what I sent you? Oh. Yeah, that's another way of putting it. I put it to it. Anyways, yeah. The fucking ICE killed an attempted murderer. In my opinion, I'm supposed to feel, I'll get that a few seconds because I feel nothing.

Also, you know, it's been about a week So we haven't had an NFL abuses his wife, you know, story. Also a plane landed yesterday and not one blowout, eight tires. The fuck, are they nerf? What happened there? Anyways, and tonight we got the first semi-final game, Miami Ole Miss, which should be a doozy. We'll talk about that at the end of the show.

I hope I've convinced you, kids. I know my buddy Evan Grant is a big college football guy. now. And come on. You got to love it. You got to love it. These guys still play hard these kids. Even though now they get paid, I was just going to say

because they don't get paid. Well, you know, you know what I mean. But I always said to my friends who would say, NFL's, I mean, you wouldn't want to see, you really wouldn't want to see Peyton Manning in college or Lawrence Taylor.

I mean, at their physical peak at like 20 years old. Remember him at North Carolina? You think he was good in the pros. You know, and then follow the NFL. I'm just saying, do both. Be a sloth like me. But I can't wait for the game tonight. And I just see all this college basketball on every chance.

And I go, how do they fucking do it? I'm at the bar that I hang out. And this is Georgia, folks. And this, I told you. One day they were watching soccer. and not young people. Guys a little younger than me, but I'm going,

is this fucking, this country has changed so much. You know, so, yeah, they're watching college basketball and biting their nails. And I just said to them, look, guys,

it's a great sport. No doubt about it. I like playing it. I suck at it. It's a great sport. It's not a good spectator sport. And if you think it is, you're just a little dim-witted.

I've said this 14 times on the show. And I'm going to keep fucking saying it until it goes away. It's not going to go away. People love it. Because again, the average IQ is about 68. How can you watch two teams exchange baskets for fucking two hours before it means anything?

Well, the athleticism and that, I can appreciate that. I can also appreciate that in football. When a guy's 6-6-3-10 and he runs a 4-5-8-40, I'll take that athlete over a guy who can dunk you 7-foot and can dunk it. He puts his hands over the

and every time two guys jumped for a rebound, there's a whistle. What do you like about that? I'm curious. And they don't even ask this. I guess it's a relief. You get home from work. You know, these are hardworking guys.

And they just, and I can appreciate it. But they don't even shoot like they used to. Go back and watch Bird and everybody in the 70s. They would drain it. These guys, everything's one-on-one and selfish horseshit. But it's the whistles and the fucking, it's just, and it's true. people used to say, look, I liked it when the Celtics in the 80s, when the Celtics and fucking

Lakers were arch enemies, it was like Red Sox, it was great. I mean, they were actually fights sometimes. And I watched it then, and I would hear people that didn't like basketball then go, I'll put it on in the fourth quarter. And I go, ah, you crazy. But I see what they mean. I do it all the time now. I just don't get it.

What is more useless in the first three minutes of a basketball? game. Honest to God. Ooh, it's 6 to 4. I don't get it. Same with the soccer. Don't ever. Yeah.

Fucking soccer makes basketball look like roller derby. God, help us. I don't get it. And anyways, Mike Berwins, I don't know. They're schizophrenic, man. Anyhow, what else? What did I do yesterday? What did I eat? How do I feel? I don't know. Let's get to it. I got to renew my gun license today. My carry permit.

I thought that they sent your thing in the mail like they do when you drive his license. It's about to expire. You know, because I don't, I just shoot people. I don't need to do the paperwork. And also, I got a thing saying, you're going to, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. expired like two years, which the reason the problem with that is I couldn't, if I go over the county line to another, then it's, you know, it doesn't work. Anyhow, I told you the first time I took my gun out of my house. I had it about a week. First time I was working in Tampa at some club. I take it with me and I get pulled over by the cops on the way home. And he goes, do you have a, you know, firearm. I mean, you can. I do. But I said, I'm a big fan of the cops. Google me. I'll wait here. He didn't like that. Then he came back, he goes, tell me a joke ticket. I had a fucking, I had a Buffalo cop say that to me. I was about 10 years in the business, working up in Buffalo.

Fucking one in the morning, I'm doing about 96. You know, there's nobody out there. It's Buffalo, upstate New York. But he knew me because at that point, Comedy Central I was on, I had all my specials and shit. He goes, tell me, I go, come on, office. And if I had that joke I told you guys about the woman taking a milk bath, I would have used it. It's the only street joke I could remember.

But, but, and other comedians will tell you that. It get pulled over by the cops that might, you know, it got me out of losing my license once because the fucking lawyer, when you go to traffic school or whatever, he goes, you're Nick from Howard's, he goes, get out of here. Yeah, that was better than doing, let him in the Tonight Show. I fucking walked out. I looked out all the other fucking punks.

fucking, and that's about as far as my fame has ever taken me, folks. My mother, we were at the airport, and the security's asked if, are you, are you, the comedian's mother? You're famous. I'm famous? I'm famous? How the fuck am I famous? They don't get it, you know?

Yeah, no, you're right, Mom. I can't go to the mall without 400 people wanting to blow me behind the fountain. That's how I, Tom Cruise is famous. I've said all this before, but I'm just saying, I try to explain it. And then she does what she always She turns her head and she spits tobacco on the rug. I don't like that. Anyways,

uh, anyways, uh, ICE puts a attempted murderer on ice. You guys, I'm sure, uh, I got plenty to talk about on this one.

A woman in Minneapolis was shot and killed by federal immigration officers after she attempted to mow them down with her vehicle. And what ICE is calling an act of domestic, uh, Terrorism. Bye, dickhead. Excuse me.

I know we're supposed to go. It's a tragedy. Anytime anybody loses their life. I don't know. I'm not feeling anything. I've got to be honest, would you? Yeah, because she has kids and she had a wife. You know, it is Minneapolis.

Maybe that. Even the wife, this video of the wife, I guess she was in the car. She looks more like a man than Ellen DeGeneres ever did. and I guess she had blood on her. And she even said it was my fault. I told her to come down here. So if I'm defending ice,

I'm throwing that in the mix and I'm sure the other tearsake. No, we got it on fucking video. Anyways, the point, I'll get to it in a second. The gunfire rang out at East 34th in Portland on Wednesday morning, according to an ex post

from the city of Minneapolis, run by a real dickhead. We'll get to him in a second. Video at the scene showed a large group of protesters shouting anti-ice slogans. I wonder why. I wonder why they'd leap to conclusions. We've learned nothing from the last 19,

the fucking Rodney King, the Mighty Joe Young, whatever his name was. Oops. Didn't mean that. It's a racial crack. What was his name? The black kid, Mike Brown. Michael Brown?

I don't know. Fucking Phil Collins. Pick one. Anyways, before they even know the facts are in, there's a crowd out there yelling anti-I slogans. I'd say to the, Democrats. Just explain that before anybody knew what was happening. All they knew, there was an incident. And it's about to build up to this. You understand? Do you really think for, let's show the

video first, okay? If you look at it once and you're trying to be objective, the guy actually, we don't have, I found another one. I don't think I sent it to you. It's the second angle you're going to show, but it's up closer. The car means. makes contact with the guy. You know? And people, we're just doomed as a species. How you can look at that and go, no, you know, you don't, check it out.

You've seen it, but check it out again. You hear the, what the fuck? What the fuck? Dramatic video purportedly shows the moment an ice agent fatally opened fire on a woman in Minneapolis, who DHS says attempted to barrel her SUV into the path of an office. officer. Yeah, they said that. You know what else said it? The video said it.

That's how they report shit. Again, watching TV with Nick. Now, the video said that. Not just ICE. And do you hear the girl going, what the fuck? Let me tell you something, folks. There's a general, including this dead woman's parents who sucked at raising kids.

First of all, what are you doing? Why ain't you fucking work or whatever? She was a post. by the way and whatever. All fucking angels. No, she was out harassing these people all day, it said. Okay? So I'm not feeling anything.

And she tried to run over. It's that fucking simple. And if you think for one second that ice, I mean, that Fry, the friggin mayor of Minneapolis and jerk off Tim Walz gives two fucks about that, that girl, you're crazy. They were probably drinking

champagne because they've been waiting for this to happen. Because this is bad optics, which is what we said on this show when Trump announced years ago that he's going to start throwing people out of the country that are here legally. And we talked about it saying the optics are going to be bad on the news. I'm telling you already. You can go back and look at the old shows. And they were waiting for this to happen. And they helped it happen by calling ICE Trump's Gestapo and not the same shit that happened to Charlie Kirk, the same reason they shot Trump. It's the same shit. Because they know we have a bunch of.

of dullards in this country, apparently since the beginning of this country, that will fall for anything that's on TV and told by them. Just they can't even, they have no mind to their own. And they were waiting for this. They trust me, they are fucking happy. They have to go on and put, and then the mayor has the balls. And this is right after it happened, to go on TV and said, I watched the video myself and their claim of self-defense is bullshit.

And then he goes, I just have one message to ICE. Get the fuck out of Minneapolis. This is before even all the facts are in and shit. He looked at that objectively. The car made contact with the fucking guy. Cops have been run over before, by the way. But you know how irresponsible that is

to come out and go, get the fuck out? That's what they've been saying, and they've been actually cheering on people who've been getting ICE's way for the last six months. So what do you think they're going to think? So now you're going to... But the only difference is, we've got a different president now.

It's not Biden or fucking Obama. So go ahead and try your identity politics bullshit or whatever the fuck. Whatever angle, whatever left-wing angle. And they're going, he's the one causing... They don't even... go, they don't even have time to go, wait, why is ice here in the first place?

Oh, that's right. The last president let in about 15 million people, half of who were fucking dangerous. And the numbers back that up, by the way. That's why they're here to protect us. That's all they have to do is think a little further, but they won't. They can't wait to turn this into a fucking nightmare. And I'm sorry, you get the wrong president. He ain't going to

go, you know what, we're going to fold up shop. Part of me wishes Trump would go, you know what? Fuck it. I'm pulling them all out of there. And when you start getting raped and Somalis are fucking, you know, ripping off fried wise. You're on your own. And they would never say any. I mean, look, they haven't even got to the Somalia. This is, you know, they haven't even got to the root of Somalia shit. What happened?

Under fucking Tim Walz and this guy Frye, he looks like a little, he looks like a little friggin, just a mousey trying to play tough guy. Do you remember him during the Floyd riots? Do you remember one night he went out while the Floyd riots were in full bloom?

And he got booed. They told him to go home right in his own district, his own city. They were telling him, get out of here. Remember? Fuck, it was great. So that's why I don't believe he got elected again. And that's why I believe, again, the four

people that run the planet, George Soros being one and people like them have these people placed I really believe it I do it sounds silly but I fucking believe it I don't know

all the world is the stage and I'm playing a potted plant in the background so I feel nothing sorry I don't feel any I should I know it's a human being blah blah blah blah blah blah but when she continued

to antagonize throughout the day not just once and plus they had the ice car boxed in I'm not feeling anything and they're all going he could have got out of the way she was just trying to she could have got out of the car

when the cops told her to or the ice agents told her to but she should have been home exactly right in a poem about her ugly kids that she had from two different guys now she's changed to pussy. Good for you. Good for you. Oh, she was the sweetest thing her mother said. Yeah, and I know her mother believes that because her mother's probably a hippie, left-wing idiot.

How was she a good person? She's out there getting in the way of law and order. How does that make her a good person? And then like her wife, I guess they were married or whatever. Like I said, she had blood on her or something. And there was a guy with a cell phone camera, like a black dude doing play by play. And she admitted, I'm the one who told her to come down here. Yeah, here you go. Keep asking yourself why they're there in the

first place, but they don't even do that. And they've been waiting for this moment forever. It'll be on a reel. It'll be so psychoanalyzed by, you know, the brains like Rachel Maddow, Lawrence O'Donnell, if they even still have shows, and everybody else.

And even today, they're passing some, yeah, I'll get to that later. About Venezuela, they pass some bill about Trump using a military and some Republicans sided with the Democrats on that. Rand Paul Murkowski, the same douchebags,

the woman up in Maine. Anyhow, so we show the two videos, right? Oh, show them, good. Here you go. You can't. Yeah, this one's far away. They have one now that's close.

It looks like my wife parallel parking. Oh, come on, honey. I'm kidding. I was kidding. I was kidding. All right. All right. Couldn't really see.

They got one from this angle, though, where you can see the fucking guy's leg, like the makes contact. You don't have the right to be there in the first place. Never mind the shooting. You don't have a right to be impeding. I've been a little, I've got to be a little disappointed that Christine, Nome isn't arresting more people that are fucking getting in the way of this shit. I got to be honest.

I hope they turn it up a notch. That airbag did a lot. I just feel nothing. I feel somebody who you got to ask yourself, what happened to Minneapolis? Well, it's been under Democrat control. That's what happened.

Same thing that happened to Baltimore. and Atlanta and Detroit and St. Louis. I could go on and fucking on and I'm tired of it. Anybody else want to fuck with ICE? Today, ICE officers in Minneapolis were conducting targeted operations when rioters began blocking ICE officers and one of these violent rioters weaponized her vehicle attempting to run over our law enforcement officers

and attempt to kill them. Inactive domestic terrorism, DHS, assistant secretary, of Public Affairs, Trisha McLaughlin said that in a statement. An ICE officer fearing for his life, the lies of his fellow law enforcement, and the safety of the public fired defensive shots. Don't you move you, motherfucker. He used his training and saved his own life and that of his fellow officers. I heard Andrew McCarthy, who's a great friggin lawyer.

He's always on when shit like this half. He goes, in this case, even if she didn't hit him, it's her intent that counts. You don't even have to make contact with the fucking guy. He explained in detail how it's written. The woman gunned down by an ICE agent in Minneapolis has been identified as 30-year-old Renee Nicole, ironically, last name, Good, who described herself as a mother, a wife, and a poet. And how about a anti-law ball buster? Again, not saying she deserves to be dead, but according to the law, she deserves to be dead.

Good was identified by her mom hours after she was killed when she allegedly tried to ram ice agents on the street in the city. Renee, this is mom talking. Always go to the mom to find out what she's thinking about her daughter who just got shot to death. That's like, again, it's like a sideline interview. Guy hits a walk off Grand Slam in the World Street. What's going through your mom? It's a sane fucking interview. Let's go to her mother

to see if this person was a good person. Why don't you find an old boyfriend and say, yeah, she deserves it, fucking whew? I'm kidding, ladies' dumb. Anyways, Donna Ganger said her mother's daughter was terrific and yum, yum. Video appeared to show her Honda Pilot make contact with the ICE agent, and that's

15 yards offensive interference. President Trump and other officials have said goods killing was justified. Her mom added she was extremely compassionate. And this could all be true. It could all be true. But in this instance, she was being an asshole. Asshole is an understatement.

She was breaking the law. She's taken care of people all her life. She was loving, forgiving, and affectionate. Now, what part of this action shows any of that? If you're loving and forgiving, you look at ICE and go, forgive them for they know not what they do, if you really feel what the dominant is wrong. She was an amazing human being.

Again, not deserved to be dead, but the cliche, fuck around and find out. I mean, sorry, there's a lot of that going on lately. You notice? Let's lighten up by selling shit. How do you like to buy an AR-15? Now, if you want to support the show, head to Nick Dip.com for

some merchandise. We've got hats. We've got hoodies. We've got t-shirts. We got heavy day maxi pads. We got mugs. Wear it and piss off the right people. And you will. You look silly with a Nick DePollo hat on Fourth of July. But just to see your aunt try to throw a beer at your head. It really makes for a good day. Let's move on to brown rice. Which, by the way, can I just say something? I saw a list of foods. This was years ago. Foods that people say good for you, but nobody really likes. And brown rice was like at the top of the list. And you know what?

It's not that much better for you, depending on what you read. Give me that white sticky chink rice every time of the day. I could eat. I like that almost as much as pot. I swear to God, I'm a fucking starch fiend. I could eat a pint of that in a second. An ex-girlfriend of Kansas City Chief's wide receiver

Rashi Rice, I call him Rashi, made a social media post Wednesday. Did I tell you, this is called Brown Rice's story? I did. Yeah, but I didn't think I said that part. Wednesday, alleging, dude, I took an ambient and I sucked down, and you know what, one of my new favorite classic, what do you call it, Lager?

and I've been going to bed before 1 o'clock. I still feel like shit. I don't know what's going on. Rice's ex-girlfriend, Dakota Nicole, posted a collection of photos that show damage to a house. I didn't put that one up. And bruising on her body and face. She posted a lengthy caption.

She did not mention Rice by name. And this is what she said. I'm so tired of keeping quiet. I'm so tired of protecting his image. I've been through too much in a span of eight years and I've had enough. I've dealt with abuse for years. Me and this man decided to break up a couple of months ago and since then it's been nothing but hell. Well, how about the years that you've known them?

Sound like that was hell too now. Nicole wrote, Rice and Nicole, excuse me, have two sons, Cassai and Caden. He's a little whore. No. No, no, no, no. Is it because we're black? That might have been right.

I don't know. But can I just say this young black women, do you not read history, the news? What makes you think? Is he a receiver? Because they're the divas. The receivers are nuts. But haven't you read enough stories?

And I know she might only be in her late 20s or 30s. Haven't you read enough stories? to know who plays in the NFL. Like, ooh, he, he hot. You know, he a player. Yeah, they read the contracts, and then you fucking, that's all you're at. It has to be, because this is not new.

I mean, Jesus Christ, excuse my language, you real conservatives, I know. What do the people say when they don't want to say, Jesus Christ? I know there's something. Jeezy, crazy. Yeah. I'd rather be thought of as a, you know what,

a fucking heretic, a religious heretic than a fag. Weezy, crazy, cheesy. Cheesy crazy. Wow. Wow. But do you know what I'm saying? These stories, how many, you could make a 90-minute documentary. Just footage of guys on surveillance care,

NFL guys throwing their girlfriends around and shit. there's a ton of it out there. You have other options. I know you were taught to, you were raised to hate white people. And don't tell me you weren't. But you should try a white guy. Maybe you already did.

But a guy, a young black dude with a ton of money in the NFL, it doesn't have to be a black dude. White guys are fucking nuts too. There was a lineman for the, was it giant years ago? Fucking bust. His wife, they had already divorced.

It's like two years later, he's been stalking. He runs into a restaurant in New Jersey and knocks the guy out. This guy was like a tackle, like 6-6-3-10, white dude with a beard, you know. I'm just saying they're alpha males, and I know that money lights up your eyes, but you're going to have to deal with this. Ask Aaron Hernandez, ex-wife. He's very controlling. There's been times he's come to my new home, broken my door. There's been times when he would put his hands on me while I was pregnant. You might want it to leave then.

Even had the audacity to lock me outside all night in 10 degree weather because I caught him cheating. That's ridiculous. In the 20s and 30s, I understand. It drops into the teens below. You can't do that. Who's with me? Anybody?

He's cut up all my shoes. I've done that. Nobody should pay $400 for shoes. My wife said, Jordan. I took a blow towards him. He's cut up all my shoes and clothes, leaving me with nothing because he's gotten caught up. That's the way they say when you catch him.

And there's multiple instances of cheating. But besides that, I'm just tired of him not doing right by my boys. And by her boy, she means her tits. Here you go. Cheesy and crazy. It's not fair. He doesn't call them. He'd rather be laid up with some hoes, she said.

Hey, where are the white women? Oh, goodness gracious, Heloise. There was one we showed last year. Remember some guy was in her apartment or his apartment? Remember threw her across the Rome and the flat screen TV fell? I don't know if you remember that. Oh, my God. It was like, oof.

He literally left us in Kansas, and I clicked my heels, and I woke up. I was still in the hood. Yeah, yeah, boy. He literally left us in Kansas, and I had to beg him. him to send money so that I could drive to Texas with my kids and all our stuff. Sounds like quite a fellow. Rice was suspended six games this season for violating the NFL's personal conduct policy, and that's not for this.

The suspension stem from his two third-degree felony charges from a March 2024 crash on a Dallas highway. Yeah, yet he's still on the team and, you know. But Goodell's got them with. thing saying stop racism, stop hate. Stop speeding. Lay off the Coke. Stop eating your wife. Stop smacking a wife.

It's no good. It's no good. And nothing we can do about it. I like when I've talked about this before, too, somebody in college. Remember Jameson, Winston? Is that right? Or is it Winston Jameson? I'm thinking of it.

Remember he was in college. He got somebody accused him A girl accused him of rape That's when I didn't become a fan But he got This was the blackest thing ever He got caught

And this is after he knew he was going to the pro He knew he was getting caught He got caught shoplifting King Crab legs Every time I hear his name I still think about that There's got to be a red lobster In the neighborhood, man

Come on. Let's move on to Rubber Meets the Road Excuse me All 8 rear tires I thought this is interesting since I fly. All rare, rare eight tires of Alatum Airlines jet burst and melted during a rough emergency landing at Hartsfield Jackson Atlanta International Airport Tuesday night.

That's they say is the most, the busiest one in the world? Yes. Or the country? You sure? No, I know. It seems it. I've never seen a quiet day there. Tuesday night, let's say,

um, anyways, that's something a former Delta pilot said is very abnormal. All ties blowing out like that. Are you interested in the real story? Well, yes, I am. You dink. Let's take a look.

Roger, we are happy truck coming on now. Cruise rushed through a runway at Hartsfield, Jackson International Airport Tuesday night after a Latom Airlines jet experienced an emergency during landing. All tires are blown on the landing gear on the rear of the last eight. All tires under the wing seem to be blown. The flight was wrapping up. It's rough. What scares me.

That was the pilot tongue. That's the silliest thing I've ever played. All the tires, all eight. How the fuck? I was in my, my dad had an old caddy that I drove around in high school. The gray ghost, we called it. And I was doing 70 on a highway a Saturday afternoon with my late great friend, Greg Zuck in the car.

And my girlfriend at the time, I forget. Letitia. tie around baloney and the right tie fucking right front tie it blew up and what's amazing is because the car was so heavy usually at that speed you have a blowout

you can you can get fucked up this thing just stayed on the straight because it was a beast you know I mean I remember Zuck on how the fuck did that not we have another video right look at the tire all the tires of the plane at the middle

were pretty much, you know, damaged, melted or reverse. The cause of the tire failure is under investigation, but luckily no injuries were reported. Then why are you telling us about it? Who cares? Nobody even fucking flew into the... That's because everybody was sitting down. The Boeing 767-300 operating his flight 2482 is arriving from Lima, Peru, around 7.30 p.m. when the tie has failed upon touchdown. Passengers described a harrowing arrival,

with one traveler noting the landing felt like the wheels were rattling on the tarmac for an unusual long time. While the plane came to a safe stop, the 221 people on board were stranded on the runway for over two hours. This is what I don't get. Why? Why? Why two hours? Why?

Answer me, you fucks. Before de-planning onto the tarmac and being bused to the term. Two hours? You know what it was? Again, that's living in a litigious society. God forbid something happened. Somebody inhaled the smoke from the blown tire. That's the country.

I mean, that's how it works. Common sense out the wind. That would fucking piss. How about you get a connecting fly? I mean, you know what happened. retired Delta Captain Paul Kha car for the rest of you people

but not from the New England who flew the 767 for years called the incident very odd he suggested the failure likely wasn't caused by the hard landing itself but by a fat chick who had 32 drinks in row 41 and hadn't taken a good dump

in two years. That's what he said but rather a malfunction in the automatic braking system that may have locked the wheels and caused extreme friction. That's very odd for all eight tires to blow on landing cars. It had more than likely the brake system, logic, malfunctioned. And it locked up the brakes, just like I just read in the fucking sentence before.

But AI wanted to repeat in case you didn't believe me, you're motherless fungus. The incident caused a temporary shutdown of runway 26R, my favorite runway in Atlanta, by the way. Shaped like a big titty. Have you seen it out of the way? but did not significantly impact overall airport operations. Oh, sure, it didn't. Really? Ask the people who are connecting flights.

That's a big-ass airport, too. I don't think I've ever landed within two miles of my terminal I was going to. You have to get on that train every time that tranny. Tranny. It's a big guy in a dressy piggybacked you all the way to your next gate. Where are you going? No injuries were reported, though photos from the scene showed dislodged cabinet. panels and a bathroom door

that had been knocked off his hinges, but that was by somebody who took a wicked dump coming back from Montegro. Am I right? Yeah. The FAA is investigating the cause of the mechanical failure. I'm going to find out what that hell happens here. There's a show

there's a channel dedicated to playing craft. Have you see that show? What the hell is it called? I forget, it's one of those ones that's on for like two years and then it's in reruns. But It's got the audio, the actual audio of planes that went down and shit. I don't know why I like that stuff. Too dark?

Let's move on, shall we? What a dick move. This is a lighten up the... A thief, get this, snatched a beloved antique walrus penis bone. From behind... I wonder where that went. Now, wait a minute. Those are his.

Tusks. You know what that looks like? Andy Reid, the coach of the... It's a coach of the Chiefs. Yeah, we had a bad beer. A walrus penis bone from behind the bar at the famed Camden, New Jersey cheese steak joint donkey's place.

The whole thing's got a penis theme. Donkey cock, walrus dick. And I want to see that menu. I'll hell up there. The elk balls. And staffers are blubbering mad. stop with that. I'm going to find that who wrote this. Yeah. She went to the back to do something else and then one duel stole it. Lucas said. We got his picture, but I don't think he's from

around a town. Let's listen to, well, she, anyways. What the fuck are you? Are you writing a book? Who the fuck are you? Give me that phone. The walrus, the walrus weiner has served as a conversation piece at the restaurant. It's not a gay bar? Is that a gay bar? The Waler's Bone. Which Anthony Bourdain, okay, I'm not going there, once praised as the area's best cheese steaks. You know what? Camden is near Philly. That's saying something. There's a lot of cheese steak on it. Best cheese steak spot for years alongside other knickknacks, like a megaladone tooth. Is that a tooth from like a fat girl? But on January 30th, a group of free men who had been drinking for hours and craving apparently Walruscock asked to see the artifact and then one of them bolted with it.

Oh my, have you checked Don Lemon's house? I can't even believe he did this. Let's find the guy who stole donk. This is what the girl says on the clip. The donkeys, you know what. I got to show this to Colin Quinn because he will fucking. cry. Because I did a gig years and years ago

and the girl said, I don't know if you remember, I had the big you know what, I apparently picked on her in the crowd. But she said the big you know what's instead of, you know, tits, boobs. And Colin thought that was the funniest fucking in this day and age. The big you know what. Anyway, she says the docky, here's her talking. She's so just, she's kind of like monum tone.

So something really terrible happened to me yesterday. If you're watching this, please help me find this man. I'm so horny. I'm having such a great time. Like, I can't even believe he did this. A group of three guys come in yesterday. Yesterday. For hours.

Don't just stay behind the bar. I run around in the back and do tables to the grill and I cook cheese steaks. I wasn't thinking that they would do something like this. It's something that we do at donkeys and this guy just decided to ruin it. If you've been to donkeys before, you may know what this is that I'm talking about or what this means. I can't say what it is because I want this video to go viral. So let's just say, let's find the guy that stole donkeys, you know what. Or if the person who stole it is watching this, please bring it back.

Not the same without it. Not the same without it. I haven't come in two weeks. Please. Return bone to me. What in God's name? His you know what? You kings curse and they'll bleep it.

It'll still go viral, right? Right? It did when I lost my walver stick. The post shows the alleged bone bandit. See, everybody goes to alliteration. Bone bandit, grinning, that was my nickname in high school, with a beard and clutching a cocktail before leaving with the loot. Oh, is it loot?

It's worth a lot, is it? But you got up behind the bar hanging out like a bowling pin. Yeah. Lucas, meanwhile, said he doesn't want to press charges. and simply wants the decades-old dong returned to its purchase. We just want the thing back, he pleaded, and so did the waitresses. He's a little whore. No!

Well, baby, me so horny. Me so horny. I keep hitting the... What a dick move. So if anybody sees anybody running around the Walrus car. on his shoulder called 911 55554-8-48-8. Did you see that that's the bone, no. I've never seen a walrus, like I, they, wouldn't we have seen that?

They always show horse-cocks and, you know, all the porn I watch, all kinds of animals. Rottweiler. You know, I've never heard that. You never hear somebody who's hung like a walrus. You can know. Right? You're like, well, you ain't been in black showers. showers. What? Say what? Say, well, what? Let's stay on the

animal thing, huh? I'm Marlon Perkins, and this is Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. For those of you under 90, you won't get that reference. Where there's a wool, there's a way. I couldn't write for the post. Raising

gay sheep refers to a real initiative primarily by German farmer Michael Stuck, who rescues Rams showing same-sex preferences. I'm not talking the NFL now. Didn't that first gay guy get drafted by the Rams or the Raiders?

Remember? Sam something. Anyways, a known phenomenon in sheep. So they're saying homosexuality is a known phenomenon in sheep. From slaughter. This guy's saving them from slaughter, the gay guy, the gay sheep to create a flock using their wool for rainbow wool. Raiders. Oh, Raiders, yeah.

Rainbow wool, a project that sells LGBTQ plus theme products to fund LGBTQ plus charities. Do you ever think your shit didn't really catch on because of how wordy and stupid it is? That's nice. So you take the wool, but you'll only make clothes for straight people? That's really giving. Suck a donkey dick and go get a walrus. A percentage of male sheep, those would be Rams, by the way, prefer other males over female ewes for mating,

making them worthless to breeders leading to slaughter. The poor things. Imagine? Guys leading them to the, you know. I suck cock, and I love it. Yummy, yum, yummy. Yeah, I mean, yummy, yummy. Anyhow.

The solution, rainbow wool, German farmer. I want to look into this guy's pass. Germans can get pretty funky with their sex habits. Michael Stuck, who is gay. Oh, okay. Yeah, he's doing it to make sweaters. This guy's rapping,

leaves around his dick at night, letting these guys chomp on him. Michael Stuck, who is gay, buys these Rams, saving them from slaughter, and uses their wool. Correct me if I'm wrong. You're still slaughtering them.

Are you just shaving them, I guess? Yeah, but let's kill one. They're gay. They deserve to die. I guess that's a good point. They keep shaving them and whatever. But couldn't you adopt a kid? No, don't do that either.

No, that's right. Forget it. Forget what I said. Let's fucking Germans. Let's take a look. These outfits were all made. using wool from Pache. The world's first block of them, actually.

German farmer Michael Stucke is raising 21 gay rams. They have a very normal, natural, and we have even no interest on the white sheep, and we're having the back-act with the females of the children. We can't have them we can be able, we can they

are holding, with this measure, or with this idea, that we do we do So Stucka stepped in, rescuing Rams from across Germany and creating a sanctuary called Rainbow Wool. Their fleece is turned into LGBTQ-themed merch, caps, patches, even shoelaces. Studies have found about 8% of Rams are gay and up to 22% are bisexual. You mean non-binary.

So that story has nothing to do with making sweaters and shit. It's just letting you know that, and this is the point, animal species. species, you know. So homosexuality is very common in a lot. Yeah, well, not humans. It's around. If you watch Jeopardy, you think it was 200% gay. The project gained massive attention being featured by CNN, of course, The Guardian, of course, and others with sheep named Prince William. Oh, my God. Gene Wool Gottler and Madonna. Madonna. Fuck.

She could shave her back and make a sweater. The wall was used for a fashion collection. I bought one of these sweaters. It was all sticky inside, so I don't know who's doing what there, Mr. Succulare. At a New York City runway show symbolizing animal rights and human rights for the LGBT.

Boy, community, community, community. And I said this 10 years, I'd say 50. I said, I'm so sick of the work. I might have said it on fucking tough crap. If I hear the word community one more time, and all that doesn't signify where a million different communities, instead of one big community, we're just broken up into a million different. It's got the word commune in it. Eventually, you will become one, you know. Look at that sheep looks very happy, doesn't it?

Finally, I'm off my feet. Look at him. Look at the smirk and the stook face. Fucking head into the barn. The sheep's like, no, not again. Oh my God, my achin stem. I don't feel like going down to the town hall or the city hall, what do you call it? I'm just going to, I'm just going to shoot my gun tonight in West Congress in the air.

Let's move on, shall we, folks? There's money and marble, you know. Oh, we say marble. The Sinaloa cartel used marble slabs and statues to smuggle meth into Spain from Mahi, call. They realized this when they saw a statue of David tap dancing at three in the morning. Authorities in Spain working with the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration were able to raid several properties and businesses in a takedown of the cartel and its allies in that country, which led to the arrest of nine individuals. You know, I keep hearing every year we do report

how you're taking down in Senileoa, but it's been. Four minutes later, they're back in business. I mean, the raids took place in recent days in various cities in Spain, as authorities tried to take down the cell, which they claim was the main meth supplier in that part of Europe. Boy, meth is still a popular amongst the whitties, I guess. I kind of think of that as a passe drug, you know? Apparently not.

I know down south here, the white trash still like it. They make it in their garage and their tub and lose their teeth by the time they're 14. It's awesome. Your dad touches you. And you forget about it. Spain's National Police shared a video on social media that shows some of the raids carried out by the officers. During the raids, the Spanish authorities are seen breaking marble slabs that cartel members were allegedly using to smuggle drugs into the country. I wonder if they're in headstones.

you know authorities also arrested a Spanish businessman who was using his legitimate marble business to transport and hide the smuggled drugs drugs I don't know nothing about that

yeah you do during a raid in one of the man's businesses authorities found a hidden bunker where the man hid three million euros in cash and also he had 10 walrus bones what a big girl

let's take a look at boy you watch these clips it's like what am I doing a podcast this is look at that tight that's Jim Gaffigan money look at that's cash oh my god

give me the money you know what you're saying give me the fucking money you hear me I got to come here bust my body give me the fucking money hmm oh this was in my kitchen

I was having it redone. And they found this. It's just bread flour. And where I keep my secret. Look at that. They look like protein bars.

Look at that. Is that drugs? Yeah, that's drugs. That's enough to get high. Belushi used to do that on a fucking Friday. I mean, holy moly, helloese. In a statement, the National Police reveal that the raids

were the continuation of an investigation that began in 2023 as part of Operation Saga, which at the time led to the second largest meth seizure in Spain's history. We don't hear many stories about meth in Europe. I don't hear much about it. You watch cops in those shows you do. In the aftermath of that operation, the Sinaloa cartel worked with local traffickers

to reestablish their presence of Europe. Like I said, they're back. They're back on the streets before they even air this stuff. There's a lot of money in them there, drugs. I think it's interesting that they were working with the DEA in Spain. Cartelos. The Spanish authorities were working with the DEA. Oh, yeah, you mean across country lines, yes.

Yeah, we probably... There's a show that's dedicated to... It's called airports, I think. But it's all international air. airports and it's people trying to smuggle. You ever watch that one? That one's interesting. It's TSA, you know, their version of T. There's one airport that's notorious.

I forget which one, Turkey, I don't know. But it's so fucking people. You're like, didn't you see the show? They get two seasons of this shit. You're still trying to get through? And it's so, when they get busted, they, you know, they call their wife and like, I'm going to prison for about 20. You know, they, oh, they open shit.

they cut shit open and you just see the people. Oh, I don't. That's why I stick to, you know what, O'Dul's. Yeah. That's a good show, though. Anyways. And the other show that I'm missing, they don't make new ones of evil lives here.

Guys, come on. It was a great show. They're not making any new ones. How many times can you watch a same guy killing this kid? What a change star? About 400. Finally tonight, let's wrap it up, huh?

Again, for you, Carl, we mentioned this early, but college football is down to four teams, ladies and gentlemen. That's called the Chevy Finals. Tonight it's Miami and Ole Miss. And then the other thing is Indiana and Oregon. That's tomorrow night. And whoever wins those plays in the national championship game. You know, I've got a field for these guys, okay?

They start, well, you know what? College football is turning into, it's not much different than being a pro athlete. It's around the clock. I'm talking around the calendar. You don't, you know what I mean? They have spring football when this is over, like in March. You understand?

They have spring football. That ends. They might get a month off. And then they have to report to Tranncamp in like July. Then you have all the portal news, the recruiting news, all the things that come through, like who's going where. So it's just like the NFL. Oh, yeah.

I'm talking about the players themselves and how it's a full-time job now. It's not like I had had enough, even up in fucking Maine. I mean, we're up there in August for two weeks. 14 days of two-a-day practices. Oh, my God, it was horrible. And then you get the season. And I'll say it again, football's only fun on Saturday or Sunday afternoon. The practices, I don't give a sure what you say.

we're looking at the schedule. I remember this, the pit I'd get my stomach. And on Tuesday, like always the second one down, ding-dong drill. That's what they called it. Ding-dong drill. Gee, that sounds safe. Literally, they set up two traffic cones over there. And whoever's in line across from you could be a linebacker.

I'm a running back. I get, you know, a defensive end. And you have to run and, you know, meet head on in that frigging, between those two cones. And guys would get their bell rung. I had shoulders that were made of paper. I don't know how I get through it. And, and, ugh.

I'm just saying, though. Then they play the season at this level. They do this spring. Then the season. And then they, you know, they got the playoffs. And what are we in January? Middle of January of this end? And like I said, there'll be.

And by the way, just give you an idea how popular college football is. And this is across the, like Ohio State or Alabama, they'll have 50,000 people at the spring game, which is an inter-squad scrimmage. Maybe more than that. I might be underselling it. So it's a year-round thing. So that's why I don't have a problem with some of these guys

making some money and shit, you know. Every building you see on campus was built by the athletic department. Doug Flutty's names over every building. And, you know, they bring in zillions of dollars. anyways the hyperbole is done now we can finally play the game that was poetry

the first of two college football semi-final pitch two teams not expected to get this far and that's true that's the beauty of this portal shit nobody saw this coming Miami didn't play in the Atlantic that's the ACC title game due to tiebreakers but earned the

the college football playoff nod over champion Duke thanks to its resume and its CFP that's college football playoff ranking. The hurricanes are vying for

their first national title in 25 years. I didn't even realize that's right, they did one, but in the 80s, they were the bad boys and when Jimmy Johnson

was it, they won a couple and Michael Irvin and behind a suffocating defense and a steady offense led by Georgia transfer, of course.

They put out great quarterbacks. Matthew Staff, it's a Hall of Famer. Carson Beck. Miami held number seven seed Texas A&M who had a unbelievable offense this year. And that was the most impressive one to me so far. They held A&M and second-seated Ohio State to 17 combined points in the first two rounds. Then Ole Miss spent the last part of the regular season wondering if Coach Lane Kiffin would leave for LSU. and we already talked about that. He bolted.

They have to change that. It is so, to me, not in the spirit of athletics. And played two playoff games after he made the jump. Behind dual threat quarterback, Trinidad Chamblis. This kid's unbelievable, too. The high-scoring rebels blew out Tulane, which was expected.

That was probably the worst game of the first round in the first round of the playoffs and then they took down number three seed, Georgia. And let's not forget, Kirby smart gambling, which sort of changed the tide a little bit. And like I said, if he made it, they'd be calling him a genius. So all as I know is, when you have a year like that, you've lost one or maybe two games and you've played 15. That's, you guys, you know how hard that is to do? You shouldn't, uh, the Fiesta Bowl will be a classic case of strength against strength.

Miami's defense, one of the best of the nation. It's first season under, uh, coordinator Corey Heatherman. The hurricanes are stout up front, loaded with athletes in the secondary. And again, you guys are like the NFL. You're going to be watching all your future idols and have shut down teams all season. Miami's defense was fourth nationally, excuse me, and scoring, allowing only 13 points per game, and 10th in total defense at only 280 yards allowed per game. It's not going to be a good one, dude. The rebels are keyed by their offense, a division two player a year ago. Shambliss. You believe that? It was Division 2, has thrived since becoming this

starter. And that's because of the portal thing. Racking up 4,180 total yards and 29 touchdowns. Ole Miss was second nationally with almost 500 yards per game and average 37.6 points per game, which is 10th in the FBS. Miami defensive lineman Ruben Bain Jr. 6-3-270 has been a wrecking ball at the heart of Miami's defense. Ole Miss running back. This kid's unbelievable. Qan Lacey. While Chambliss has already deservedly grabbed most of the headlines, Lacey has been a big reason defenses can't load up to stop Chamblis.

He's a 5-11, 200-pound transfer from Missouri. He was third in the FBS with 1,464 yards rushing, and his 23 rushing touchdowns, a third in SEC history. You can't do that in youth football, those numbers. It really is something else. Lacey announced this week that he's returning to Ole Miss for another season, which is amazing. Hope you don't blow out a knee, fella.

But that's amazing. Anyways, that's tonight. So, again, if you're not gay or a Haitian choreographer or stealing Walrus wienesses, tune in. It's going to be great. That's it, boys and girls, for the week. Want to send a, if you want to send a personalized video

to somebody. So I can say what you're thinking. You don't have to say it. Book me at shoutout.us or cameo.com. And don't forget to grab some merchandise at nickdip.com. You see that right there in front of you. That's it, guys and girls. You think it I'll say it.

You're very welcome. Have a great weekend. We'll see you back here on Monday. Take care. Hi. Good night, everybody.