The Nick DiPaolo Show - MSM Lied About Russia-Trump | Nick Di Paolo Show #661

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

Clinton busted. Biden rejects Army report. Biden pushes diversity in NFL. Seattle buys more beer. Man "gives" cops the finger. Teacher beaten by middle school students.

I am so sick and tired of the liberal agenda that is destroying our country from our schools to our workplaces to our media. It's literally everywhere. Well, everywhere maybe, but not this show. Never. Here you get the truth, unfiltered and unapologetic. I don't care if I hurt feelings or if I take a position that isn't agreeable or if I step on somebody's toes. I call them the way I see them and I put it out there for free. To keep this show free, I need your help. Please go to nickdip.com and make a contribution or even better, subscribe at thecomicsgym.com or on Patreon today and get

an extra encore show each day. Discounts on merchandise and a whole lot more. Thank you guys so much for watching, sharing, and contributing to the best show, in my opinion, on the internet and the most honest. You guys make it happen. guitar solo Oh yeah, how are you folks? Monday morning again, state of Georgia. Welcome to the Big Dirty Show. How are you? How was your weekend?

Interesting going on. Russia right now has 130,000 troops on the border of Ukraine. Joe Biden's doing everything they said that Trump was going to do. Get us in unnecessary wars, blah, blah, blah, blah, just a cocksucker. And all you people who voted all 12 years for him,

fuck you and everything you believe in. Super Bowl, good one. Super Bowl. Good one. Good one. Good game. It's all he asked for. If you don't have a dog in the fight, I was hoping for a good game. Didn't like the touchy calls at the end. The interference.

They were letting him play the whole game and then a linebacker from the Bengals puts his hand around a guy's back. It was a beautiful play knocking that ball down. But his hand around a guy's back. It was a beautiful play, knocking that ball down. But apparently they missed a few, whatever. Just why would you choose then? Two

interference calls, give them first and goal. I just, they gotta change the fucking rule or something. It's just, you might as well just hand them a touchdown. It's fucking dog shit. Cooper Cupp should be the MVP of the league, okay? He had the best regular season of any player who wasn't a quarterback, which is hard to do when you're a white wide receiver. That's right, I said white. And then he comes up huge in the Super Bowl, two touchdowns. He is the MVP of the

league, not Brady, not Aaron Rodgers, not whoever. Well, I think he was the only other one that was mentioned. And he got screwed. I don't give a shit. Good game. Joe Bowler's going to win his share. They put a decent team around him. Cool as a cucumber. You almost look bored, for Christ's sake. I fucking love that kid. Looks like a goddamn model. What is it with these guys? Anyhow, what else?

Super Bowl halftime. Yeah, terrific giving once again always thinking about your white fans huh Goodell always say well the league 74% but what's that got to do with it the fuck's that got to do the core of your audience is still flyover white guys, working class stiffs in flyover country. We know that. Okay? It was sad. Nothing edgy like my buddy Greg said. Nothing edgy about hip hoppers and their fucking billionaires almost into their 60s. And I'll say it again.

After watching the commercials, if you weren't from this country, you watch five minutes of American TV, especially yesterday. You'd go, what is it, 80-20, black to white? I don't care. And I know everybody across the country was saying that. And I know you dumb liberal fucks have heard your excuses. They're just trying to draw in, it's advertising. You got to bring everybody, really? Then go for the biggest market. It's not. It's part of reparations. Hey, look, we're including black people and everything. What is the obsession with fucking, this, we're including black people and everything. What is the obsession with fucking, this should have been the fucking N-word. What is the obsession with frigging, I don't understand this obsession with black people and slavery. And I just don't, I mean, other than I know the Dems, it's been so successful as far as gaining political capital

for the last 30 years. I'm sorry. People were texting me who I don't even know are edgy going, what the fuck? I mean, really? Yeah, but they had Eminem there. That's how they covered their ass. So you can't say, what the fuck was that?

And then the big stories, Eminem nailed down apparently during whatever. I don't know if it was a down, apparently, during whatever. I don't know if it was the national anthem or the fucking, I don't know. But that's what the story's focused on. Not the fact that Snoop, who, again, folks, and I'm not saying I don't like, I know what Snoop is.

I'm just saying. I'm going by the rules that this country has made as far as race. I know Snoop doctor, I know they got street cred and all that shit. Snoop I like his shit. I'm just saying. They were drug dealers in their day. They sing about pussy. They glorify rape culture.

Ba ba ba. And then you have like stop hate on the back of the helmets. Do you understand? Do you fucking get it? And for me pointing that out doesn't make me a racist. We bend over backwards for black people. Okay? Fine.

And you'll go, well, Eminem sings about that fucking shit too. Not the point. Show me. He's perfect for them. They get the cover. But fucking, you know, show me a white guy who glorifies rape culture. You know. Other than rappers I'm talking about.

Anyways. I'm just saying. Don't put up this facade, end racism and sexism and blah, blah, blah, and ignore your white fans, and then you're just fucking hypocrites. Yeah, and they also have to grab their dicks still, because they're told. I know there's a fact.

They're told, it's a halftime show at a Super Bowl. It's a family show, you know. It's considered family entertainment. Got to grab them dicks. What is that about? What are you, a three-year-old that has to pisses? Pisses? You got to pisses?

Look, just, it bored me. It disgusted me. It was anti-white. It was like the fucking tribute to the Black Panthers and Janet Jackson or whoever the fuck did. Beyonce. I don't know who the fuck. Grab any one of those untalented whores.

All right, let's get on to the... Oh, by the way, I made my chili in Dallas and his girlfriend came over. Dallas is ironically a Texas guy. I mean, he's from Alabama originally, but he knows this is chili. He gives it two thumbs up. Two brown ones. It's fucking delicious.

Five pounds of brisket. We're going to show the... I took some clips of me making it, so we'll throw that up tomorrow. I'll have Dallas just tie them together. And you can see me in my glory. I think I took a 12-patch hit this morning. Anyways, you shouldn't say stuff like that. Hey, whatever.

Whatever. All right, let's get on with the show. Oh, and the N-word tonight. D.C., the city, and a bunch of other leftist so-called city-slash-states that so-called follow the science are scrapping all their COVID mandate rules. Wow, why is that? Anybody smell a rodent? What transparent asshats these guys really are. Gee, I wonder if it has anything to do with a Canadian trucker convoy that woke the woke, and it's probably coming to this country, or it's about the midterms, right?

In about six months. You think that had anything to do with it? Either way, we can see right through you, fucking power-hungry tyrant. And no, Joe, you don't get credit for crushing Omnicron, which he's already trying to do. No more than a relief pitcher gets the credit for a no-hitter because he got the final out in the knife. You stooge. We see right through you people, okay? End of story. DeSantis and all the red states are miles ahead of you. That's all I got to say.

Well, we're waiting. It's coming, bitch. That makes me laugh every time. Anywho, I just made that up. Hey, the Clinton crime family busted, but does it really matter? That was my first instinct. Does it really matter? Does it really matter? Remember when Trump said he was being spied on and everybody laughed at him?

it really? Remember when Trump said he was being spied on and everybody laughed at him? And there's footage on Fox. I'm sure it's only Fox because the other station helped perpetuate this collusion lie. And they can't go back and revisit the story because then they're going to have to cover their asses for making it all up. So they're going to ignore it. So look for a ton of stories about COVID and puppets and fucking kiddies who dialed 911 in a house fire, that type of important shit. Anyways, they connected Hillary and you know John Durham, the German U-Bo guy who's doing the federal investigation for the last couple of years. It's about time he came up with some shit. Anyways, here's a clip of saying what went on this weekend as far as that goes. What we've learned is that there were spying operations going on,

both to the Trump campaign and its Trump Tower headquarters. And then when President Trump became president, they continued to spy on him at the executive office of president. Huh. Yeah, keep laughing, you empty pantsuit, fat, thick-ankled dogface. There you go. It's the closest she ever came to a blowjob lip. Trust me, she's blowing a kiss to some diesel dyke.

What? Are you interested in the real story? Alright, I am. The Friday filing from a Department of Justice prosecutor tasked with investigating the origins of the FBI's Russian probe served to throw cold water on Democrats' longstanding allegations of collusion. Remember they were saying that Trump in Russia, he's an agent? Go back and look at the clips, man.

How these people are still politicians is beyond me. Special Counsel John Durham, seen here, one of my favorite fellas. Look at him, German U-boat. And I believe, and Clint, you are an idiot. Special Counsel John Durham filed a motion related to potential conflicts of interest in connection with a case of Clinton campaign lawyer Michael Sussman. This guy makes Avenatti look like Thurgood Marshall, who was charged with lying to the Fed.

Sussman allegedly told the FBI he was not working on behalf of the Clintons when he presented the, I should say Clinton, Hillary, when he presented the agency with documents that supposedly linked the Trump Organization to a Kremlin-tied bank two months before the election. And you blew it! You did, you fat fucker. You blew it! Durham's motion reportedly alleged Sussman had assembled and conveyed the allegations

to the FBI on behalf of at least two specific clients, including a technology executive, tech executive one we call it, at a U.S.-based Internet company, Internet Company One, and the Clinton campaign. Records showed he repeatedly billed the Clinton campaign. Why would you have paperwork or whatever? You know what I mean? For his work on... Maybe that's their argument.

They'll go, look, we weren't trying to hide anything. For his work on Russian Bank One, on the Russian Bank One allegations, which involved an investigative firm, a tech executive, cyber researchers, and numerous employees at Internet companies, the motion reportedly stated. In 2017, Sussman provided an updated set of allegations about then-President Trump's Russian connection to another government agency, the motion said, according to the outlet. Among the accusations leveled at the time was that suspicious DNS lookups by Russian-affiliated IP addresses demonstrated Trump and or his associates were using supposedly rare Russian-made

wireless phones in the vicinity of the White House in other locations. Remember he said, and again, Obama has his fingers in this too. Don't let him fuck it. Remember, he was the outgoing. Oh my God. You're lying. And you're a piece of shit, Mr. Sussman. The allegations relied in part on the purported DNS traffic that Tech Executive One and others had assembled pertaining to Trump Tower, Donald Trump's New York City apartment building, the EOP, and the aforementioned health care provider, according to Fox's report. Again, you're going to have to go to, you can make fun of Fox all you want. This is how they get their reputation for being right wing, by reporting fucking what the left wing, when they're caught red-handed, do it.

This is bigger than Watergate. Arguably, this is bigger than any political scandal in the history of this fucking country. You could make that fucking argument, no doubt. Trump said he was vindicated by Durham's filing and a Saturday evening statement adding, there was a time that Sussman's alleged crime would have been punishable by death. And he's right.

Treasonous cocksuckers. And they were claiming he was colluding. You see what they did? The little gaslighting? Now here's the question you guys should all be asking. Well, is anything going to be done about it? We've already got the thick-ankled dog face and a million other things. Will the fat fuck die in jail? Wouldn't that be sweet? Take your husband with you. I'm sure you couldn't have done it on your own. I don't know why I kind of like Bill Clinton.

Anyways, what I'm telling you is you're going to have to come here to Stephen Crowder's show, to Gavin McGinnis, if he's still on the air, and shows like this if you want to hear anything about this. Fox News will touch on it, but they'll get nervous at some point. So, again, another reason to sign up here. That and his tie and his mustache it's beautiful oh a little chili fart just slipped out of there holy moly was that fucking good five pounds of my heart's gonna stop like Dick Cheney's before Dick Cheney I'll be dead before Dick Cheney now I have high blood pressure which I've never never had, folks. Not in my life, ever. Ever.

I remember living in L.A. I was doing the Stairmaster an hour a day, five days a week. And I had a physical, and the doctor's fucking eyes got huge. He was taking my resting pulse. And I got scared because he had a scared look on his face. And he goes to me, do you run marathon? I go, fuck no. He goes, my pulse rate was 39 resting. 39. Average is like 60 around there. Now mine resting is 447.

No, it's like 65, which ain't bad. Anyways, let's get on to Biden botched it. President Biden on Thursday said he rejected, of course he did, the accounts and findings of an Army investigative report in which military officials reportedly criticized jerk-off Biden, administration officials, for failing to grasp the situation in Afghanistan. Buddy Dallas knows the place very well. As U.S. forces withdrew. And Biden's, you know, they were saying Biden's administration botched

everything and of course he's rejecting it. What are we doing? What's going on right now? We're lying on your behalf, Grampy. Go unload your diaper in the toilet. Asked about the report during an interview with NBC's jerk-off token black slash white guy Lester Holt on Thursday. Biden said that it didn't square with his impression of the administration's handling of the withdrawal. I'd love to see Joe do an impression of the withdrawal. Pulls his prick out of his fly.

Look, this is what I do with Jill. I pull it out and I did it. What? Okay. No, that's not that. This is what I do with Jill. I pull it out and I did it. What? Okay. No, that's not that. This is what Biden responded. No, that's not what I was told. When asked if the details of the investigation, which was reported by the Washington Post, okay, the Post, rang true to him.

There was no good time to get out, he says. Oh, my God. But if we had not gotten out, I can't believe this is a professional politician, the fucking logic and reasoning. He says, but if we had not gotten out, they acknowledged we would have had to put a hell of a lot more troops back in. Asked if he was rejecting the accounts or conclusions of the report, Biden said, yes, I am. What a mamalook. I am rejecting them, he said,

as AOC's hand went up his ass and moved his mouth like Kermit the Frog. He's so stupid. He's so stupid. So much stupid. That's him looking at a squirrel in a tree for like six hours. The Post reported earlier this week that Army report stretches thousands of pages and contains sworn testimony from commanders involved in the withdrawal from Afghanistan last summer. Yeah, why should we believe them?

According to the Post, military officials quoted in the document accused White House and State Department, which has been weaponized, we know, officials of not recognizing the swift advance of the Taliban as U.S. forces withdrew from the country. How can you miss it with our technology? It reportedly points to disagreements over how to handle who's sticking their nose in there, Pelosi. Who are you guys arguing with? Fucking AOC? On how to make a fucking gin fizz? Disagreements over how to handle

the evacuation of Americans at risk in Afghanistan. They're on the phone arguing with each other. Stupid. Is this moron number one? Yeah. Put moron number two on the phone. Hi, it's Joe.

The withdrawal from Afghanistan was a low point for Biden in his first year, at least he thought. Things only got worse. In office, while a majority of Americans support withdrawing from the country, the chaotic nature of the U.S. military. You know what's funny? It was so chaotic getting out of there, but look how smooth it is to bring illegals into our country. Look how it just works beautifully. Look how smooth it is to bring illegals into our country. Look how it just works beautifully, huh?

Anyways, the nature of our U.S. military exit spawned criticism from Republicans and Democrats of the administration's handling of it. Boy, the guy. Remember Obama? I give Obama one thing right before Joe announced he was going to run, Obama said it was a quote in the paper, don't underestimate Joe's ability to fuck things up. But what Obama meant by that is like the dirty deep state

that I created, he's going to fuck that up. I think that's what he probably meant. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh, that's good gin. Biden blows back. Let me repeat that. Biden blows blacks again.

What kind of talk is that for a news show? Luckily, it's not. President Biden, oh boy, a lot of Joe today, weighed into the controversy surrounding diversity in the NFL's coaching ranks in an interview that aired on Sunday, saying the league has not lived up to the standard it committed to in hiring more black or minority head coaches. And Vince Lombardi said, what the hell's going on out here? Vince was like, what's with all the blacks out here? Can I just say something, folks? I could

talk about this for two fucking hours. First of all, the league is 74% black, so you can stick your racist shit up your ass. Yeah, it is racist. There's not enough white people. I mean, you guys want to play the bean counting game. The number of cops should represent the number of people, color should, you know, blah, blah. Okay, country's 68% white. I want to see 68% players white. How about that? Let's do it. If you're going to play that game, we can play black.

And as far as black coaches go, honestly, they stink, Nick. If you take Mr. Tomlin, who I love for the Steelers, I think he's a working class. He's got the cross on and shit. I just think take his records out of it and the black coaches' records over a long period of time. Not good. Not good at all. And it's insulting to black people, this rooney rule where they have to, football teams have to interview so many black coaches first. That's insulting to black people.

I think Tomlin said it. Some black coaches said it. But blind, we'll get to it. But I'm just saying. Fucking hell, you don't get what you want. Racism, racism, racism. How many millionaires has the NFL made? Black millionaires and zillionaires.

Even ones that beat up their wives and shit and go back to the league. What the fuck do you want? All of it. All of it. Exactly. Biden specifically echoed comments made by NFL. By the way, Biden's doing this what? Same reason he always kisses black ass. To make sure he's got

the black vote. Too late, Joe. Too fucking late. They hate your guts. So do white Democrats now. That's the best story so far. Echo comments made by the NFL Commissioner Goodell. What a company man this Mama Luke is. 44 million a year this prick makes.

How did he get to be the chosen one? Roger Goodell on Wednesday who contended that the NFL won't tolerate discrimination. You know, we know that by the halftime show. Oh, wait a minute, you tolerate white discrimination with your abominable fucking woke league? Ugh. Whatever happened to the black national anthem? Was that ever played? I'm pissed. I really like that song. It went a little like this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, boy! The commissioner pointed out that they haven't lived up to what they committed to. Insulting the black people. I really do. Because I met a lot of black people at Chris Rock. They're a lot smarter than I was. I'm just saying. And a lot of black people at Chris Rock. They're a lot smarter than I was. I'm just saying. You know, a lot of dumb ones. What they committed. They haven't lived up to being open about hiring more minorities to run team. They haven't. They have a rule in place

where you have to interview them, whether they're qualified or not. Biden said in the interview with jerk off Lester Holt, who does anything PC, Goodell says they're going to take a look at whether they can meet the standards. We're thinking about firing any crackers. No. And the standard was set by someone who said, this is something we should do. Let's lower the standards out of fairness in every industry on the planet. Biden said the NFL, well, Nick, why are you saying lower the standards out of fairness in every industry on the planet. Biden said the NFL, well, Nick, why are you saying lowering the standard?

I'm just going by the past record. Other than Tomlin, it hasn't been very good. Does it mean, and when I say that, by the way, I'm not saying that's an inferior coach. I'm just saying you've got to prove yourself. This isn't 1958. You've got your opportunities. You've got to win. It's the NFL.

Biden said the NFL, because of its broad influence, should be held to a reasonable standard when it comes to diversity issues. Yeah? Shouldn't I, Joe? Then he went back to throwing green jello at his wife's back. Roughly 70% of players in the NFL are people of color. You mean colored people? Why can't I say that? That's offensive when they call themselves people of color. I'll keep pushing that point until I get kicked off the poo-poo internet. Though Mike Tomlin of the Steelers is currently the only black head coach in the league.

And yeah, you know why? He's a damn good one. And he played in the league. Ron Rivera, look at this, of the Washington Commanders. What a gay name. Oh, my God. And Robert Salah of the New York Jets, the other minority head coaches. Rivera's parents were from Puerto Rico.

And why does this even matter? And Mexican. And Salah is of Lebanese descent. And a practice in Muslim. Good for him. Put that one in there for you. It's in there. Think about it. The whole idea that a league that is made up of so many athletes of color, as well as, you're making my point for me, schm of color as well as you're making my point for me schmuck as well as so diverse that there's a they just said it's made up of predominantly people of color and it's diverse that there's why do you know what that the argument should be we should have white coaches all of them because it's already too black I mean you want to play games I'll play games

that there's not enough African American qua here's why I love Snoop, by the way. Snoop said this about black, it was like five, seven, eight, ten years ago. Remember about the rule? He goes, this is Snoop, not me. Black guys are the athletes, they're the players, you know, white guys are good coaches. We can't say that. We can't, and again, I'm not, fucking Tomlin's a great coach. And you know who?

Tony Dungy was a good coach. Please, stop with the horse shit. Race, race, race. You guys taint everything you touch. You fungus-eating prick face. Not enough African-American qualified coaches to quote, to manage these NFL teams. It just seems to me that it's a standard that they want to live up to, Biden said. Why don't you try to live up to one? It's not a requirement of law, but it's a requirement, I think, of some generic decency,

whatever the fuck that means. Anyway, so yeah, Biden said blah, blah, blah. What did he say? Generic decency? Generic decency. What the fuck does that mean? Shut up! Shut, shut, shut, shut, shut up! Shut up! The issue of diversity was ignited in recent weeks following a class action racial discrimination lawsuit against the NFL and three teams by former Miami Dolphins head coach, I hate Whitey, Brian Flores, who's black. I think he was a Patriots coach and a pretty good one, but he didn't get it done in Miami or anywhere else. Jets? Was it Jets? I'm confusing my brothers. Flores claimed to receive, no, that was Bowles with the Jets. Flores claimed to receive sham interviews. Now they're sham interviews.

While seeking a job with the Giants and Denver Broncos and alleged he was only being interviewed by teams so they could satisfy the Roney rule. So you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't. Like anything else, it involves race in this country. I am so sick of this con job. I can't wait to get the fuck out of here. Which requires teams to interview minority candidates for certain top jobs, like the head coach.

Oh, boy, you. You're going to tell me in this day and age, people, and black, I hear black guys say this about white owners. You know, it's a business. It's a business. They do anything to win when they get traded and shit. They go You know, it's a business. It's a business. They do anything to win. When they get traded and shit, they go on to say, it's a business. It's a business, right? They're always saying that. Yeah, it's a fucking business. And if you don't produce, doesn't mean they're not turning down black guys. You're going to tell me these white greedy

owners, and that's what you guys call them, plantation owners. You're going to tell me these white greedy owners, and that's what you guys call them, plantation owners, you're going to tell me these guys who are all about money, if they thought a black guy was the best coach, best chance to win a Super Bowl and put more zillions in their pocket, they're not going to hire him? Fuck you. Totally untrue.

I didn't mean to say fuck you. That was not necessary. I mean, blow it out your ass. On Wednesday, Goodell noted that the NFL will look to see if any policies need to be changed. He doesn't like these separate water fountains at practice. Following another offseason where the number of minority coaches has not increased. Oh, what a shame.

I hope I can sleep at night. Let's move on to the shithole called Seattle, which used to be a beautiful city. I have a duplex there in Chaz. My wife got me a Valentine's Day card, which reminded me today is Valentine. I ain't getting shit. Happy Val... I don't believe in it.

She doesn't either. All of a sudden, this year, she does. Happy Valentine's. I don't believe in it. She doesn't either. All of a sudden, this year she does. Happy Valentine's Day. Content's extremely cheesy. It's a guy with a pizza oven on the front. You open it to a supremely great person,

but listen to these pizza puns. We love bad puns. Let's see if I can play it on the mic here. Sorry to be so cheesy. Can you hear that? Listen. Pizza puns. We love bad puns. Let's see if I can play it on the mic here. Sorry to be so cheesy. Can you hear that? Listen.

Never sausage an amazing human. Never sausage an amazing human. No, there's just not much room for improvement. Wait a minute. I can't go any further. Hold on one second. You know what this is fucking me. Oh, God.

Hold on, folks. It's Monday, you know what I'm saying? There's pizza puns. My buddy Zook is crying right now. Pizza puns. Can you hear that? Yeah. Let's go another one. Yep, you're pretty sawsome.

Sawsome? All of you lots. All of you lots. As in I love you lots? Let's be honest, there's no topping you. Just a supremely great person through and through. How about the laughter?

It's like Colin Quinn. Sorry to be so cheesy. What a card. Never sausage an amazing human. I didn't know today was the day. You know what that means? She's going to Fuddruckers. Grin and Bear It, story out of Seattle. A new study is pouring cold beer on Seattle's soda tax.

The study published in the peer-reviewed journal PLOS One reveals that since the city I call home, meaning the guy who wrote it, adopted a soda tax in 2018, residents have swapped out soda. And guess what? Replaced that soda with beer. This is like a good story. It's 40 times more healthy, by the way. But of course, they're going to point out the wrong things, I'm sure. Pointedly, the study says Seattle's soda tax induced consumers to buy more beer.

Give me a keg of beer. The good people of Seattle responded to a tax on sugary drinks by buying more beer. Christopher Snowden, director of lifestyle economics at the Institute of Economic Affairs and a leading critic of the nanny state, tweeted after the study's release. This is a guy saying, the PLOS study by University of Illinois Chicago researchers Lisa Powell, oh, God, and Julian Lader, there you go, a couple of grandmothers, compared sales of beer in Seattle both before and since adoption of the soda tax with comparable, people say comparable now, it's comparable,

sales in nearby Portland, Oregon, which has no soda tax. At two years post-tax implementation, the volume sold to beer in Seattle relative to Portland's increased by 7%. Dallas goes to Portland with his girlfriend and it goes up 14%. Those supporters of soda taxes claim largely, without evidence, that they're a successful tool to combat obesity. The authors of PLOS study note the dangers of... See, this is... Ladies, I hate to be a sexist pig. This is chick mentality, which has trashed this country.

Sorry. A lot of guys think like chicks. I'm not blaming you completely, but I'm just saying. This is a nanny state fucking beer. Beer is 40 times healthier than soda. It's natural. Even when you have 10 and get behind the wheel, it's fun. It's American.

The danger of excess alcohol consumption include higher risk of motor accidents slash deaths, liver cirrhosis. Yes, if you have 40 beers a day for 25 years, you fucking boneheaded, titless, jack-off. Cirrhosis, sexually transmitted diseases? Well, you get your cock sucked every time you have a Miller Lite? Hey, that guy likes PBR. I'm going to lick his taint. millilite? Hey, that guy likes PBR. I'm going to lick his taint. Why don't you go back to what you were doing, making your husband a BLT, you whore? Nick, that's kind of rough around the edges,

as people say. Transmitted diseases, crime, and violence. Oh, my fucking word. I think you're confusing. I won't even say it. In workplace accidents. You can apply all that to the hip-hop community. The shooting at studios. The violence at workplace. You know, you tell that fucking lady. Shut up. Mind your fucking business and shut up.

Oh, God help us. This is my favorite story today, I think. You know, you can get arrested for giving cops the finger? Police made a grim discovery during a Utah traffic stop this week. A seven-finger stashed in a man's wallet. That was Sergeant Linda Smith. The rotting body part was found. Would you make sure before you talk, would you open your wallet right in front of the cop?

The rotting body part was found wrapped in cloth when cops pulled over Victor Nam Chavez Zuniga. Of course. 27, boy the Latinas are crazy sometimes. In Orem on Thursday for having

a busted headlight, KSL reported, the finger had what appeared to be pus and blood on it. And they said to the, oh, look at all the, what is looks like my wife's drawer in the bedroom. What? The finger had what appeared to be pus and blood on it. When they asked the cop why they thought that, the guy, Officer Schmidt, said it tastes just like it. The joint was beginning to turn green, and the fingernail appeared to be decayed. Look at that.

Get your ballpark, Franks. Oh, my God. The digit also gave off a noticeable, you don't say it was green and the finger was discolored and smelled. Keep it next to your Amex for six months. The digit also gave off a noticeable foul smell. Unlike my high school girlfriend after a track meet in July. What? Who wrote that in there? When it was unwrapped, officers added, I'm getting hungry thinking about this. It wasn't immediately clear

whom the finger belonged. It wasn't. He wasn't in the back seat going, hey, fellas. Officers had carried out the search for Chavez Zurigas vehicle and belongings after realizing he had several active warrants against him. Apparently he had a foot, a toe, and three heads in the

wheel well. He was arrested on one count of abuse or desecration of a dead human. How do you know? Guy could still be living. Body and booked into the Utah County Jail and We didn't have a video of this exact guy so I found the Russian guy who uh, he's gonna show why Russians might beat us in a war. Okay. Look. Uh-huh. Look.

Ah! I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. Guy cut it off. He took a saw and cut off his... It doesn't even say why. Did it? So the reason why is because

he was falsely accused of raping his wife and he was cutting his fingers off in protest of the false accusation. Well, unless he penetrated her digitally, you should be cutting your dick off. It was a rape. Thank you, Nick. I was throwing a little logic at you there.

I think this is the final story? Final story tonight on a Monday for you people who don't belong on a monthly subscription. Other people get a fucking doozy coming. So you might want to kick that around. Chips Ahoy. Chips Ahoy. Who's writing this nonsense?

This is racist. A Texas physics teacher, this one made me cuckoo, a physics teacher was chased and beaten by a group of not high school, not college, middle school students. I read that far, and the racist me being the racist I am, so I'm guaranteed it's a pack of black kids. Hey, guess what? Who'll be right? Who broke his arm in the attack. Okay, these are middle school students chasing a white baseball coach.

I can't make this shit up. These blacks. Who knows where they're going to take the wrong way. The assault occurred at Langham Creek High School in Houston. Boy, Houston's a... Oh, by the way, did you see, speaking of Houston, my boy Lewis, Derek Lewis, got beat the fuck by Bam Bam,

the Samoan or the Hawaiian guy who drinks, when he wins, he drinks beer out of his filthy shoe. This guy is going to be you. He's sort of the Gronk of UFC, and Derek Lewis is a beast. I mean, he's one of the best knockout hours in the history of the UFC, and this Bam Bam guy fucking schooled him in his own yard in Houston. Knocked him the fuck out. Anyways, I digress.

Langham Creek High School in Houston on Thursday when students from Aragon Middle School attacked assistant baseball coach and high school physics teacher. So you know he's an asshole. Michael shot a white guy during a baseball practice. Good job, again, black parents and, I should say, parent, in raising your kid. Good job. Cell phone video posted on social

media shows shot sprinting away full speed through the high school parking lot, attempting to evade several, pursuing students while others following taking videos of the attack check it out What the f***? Yo, only LA can freak, yo. What the f***? What the f***?

Oh, s***. Damn. Wake up, white people. Another reason teachers carry guns. And it has nothing to do with school shootings. They're on students. Fucking animals. Yeah, I said it.

Fucking sue me. Fucking animals. Guys teaching. Physics teacher. Baseball coach. You know, that's called contributing, making a difference. But Billy Burr will say to me, yeah, but they're fucked up because of slavery. Has nothing to do with illegitimacy.

You're astoundingly ignorant, Nick. How many fucking stories could I play this week alone? Until that's fixed, black illegitimacy, that's the root of it. Not all crime, obviously, but a huge, a disproportionate amount. Really? Now we've got white teachers running and they're trying to make it tougher to suspend kids of color in school?

Do you think the Marxist forces have this country by the balls after this? You're not going to see this on CNN, ABC, Lester Holt. You're not going to see it anywhere but fucking here. Anybody going to step in and go, enough's a fuck enough? At one point, the attackers catch up, force the coach to the ground before he gets up

and runs into an area in the parking lot away from them. Shot's mother, Peggy, that's how young the teacher is. His mother's commenting on it, told KTRK that her son suffered a broken arm. And do you really think any of these kids will be punished for this? Broken arm. He's doing fine. He's at home. He has a broken arm, but the kids said that he's doing what he's always done, and he's fine, she said.

What? Not the kids that beat him up. The reason it happened to him was, listen to this, and here's where the parenting, a lack of, comes in. Because he was doing his job. He stopped the kids. Well, there was only one kid at first. The reason the others came back is because they didn't like him stopping. They were on bikes, motorcycles, dirt bikes or whatever, making a shitload of noise.

He had the gall to tell them, you're not supposed to be doing that. Students and social media users say the coach was jumped because he told the students they couldn't ride dirt bikes or ATVs on school grounds. But see, when you're raised by your mother and have no dad in your life, you go, fuck you. Simple as that. Following Thursday's altercation,

Cypress Fairbanks Independent School District confirmed that the school received threats of further violence via social media. Now, they don't make that clear, but it says further, so I guess it's more black kids threatening when it should be white people calling up and going, hey, prompting the deployment of security officers at the school for students involved in the attack. Listen to this. Taken into custody and will be disciplined according to the code of conduct.

Is that the law or the school rule? District officials said in a letter to parents. It's unclear. Get this. I want you to let this line sink in at the end. It's unclear if the juveniles will face charges for the beat down. To that I say. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! I wonder if the teacher was black and all the students were white, which would never happen. I wonder if they would be charged. They'd have to kick it around. This country is so fucked,

it's beyond repair almost. You wonder why Trump's... I just saw a poll where it goes Trump's leading Biden by five. Five? What, 500? Do you believe that? Five percent? Or is it 5,000? Do you believe that? 5%?

Or is it 5,000? Seriously, Hillary by 10 and whoever the fuck else was thinking about sticking their beak in there. Anyways, that is it for Monday, ladies and gentlemen. I thank you again for joining us. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com, patreon.com, where you can sign up at either place on a monthly basis.

Contribute daily if you'd like, like a lot of our friends do. I want to get back to the point where I'm saying thank you every day before YouTube put all these restrictions on me. I used to have four pages of thank yous a day, okay? Until they started saying, you can't talk about COVID,

you can't talk about this. you can't talk about this. You can if you're going with our narrative or whatever the fuck. Anyways, don't forget nickdip.com. Click on my tour dates. I'm starting a tour again next month. And that's it. Cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or relative. Go to cameo.com.

Click on the button. Tell me about the person. And I'll record a little roast or an attack a verbal whatever or i'll say happy birthday to your mom tell her to pick her shoes up at my house all right uh that is it you guys think and i'll say you're very welcome we'll see you back here tomorrow have a good rest of the day guitar solo作詞・作曲・編曲 初音ミク Outro Music