The Nick DiPaolo Show - MSNBC “Joy”less | Nick Di Paolo Show #1697

Episode Date: February 24, 2025

In this episode Nick talks about DOGE, Cali Defies Law, Cops Murdered, Arachnid Airlines and Joy Gone!  To watch FULL EPISODES and get ALL RUMBLE PREMIUM content AD FREE, join by clicking the link below, then the red RUMBLE PREMIUM button – enter Promo Code MUGCLUB and get $10 off an annual subscription! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow/exclusive Support the show and get 15% off your VIIA order with the code NICKDIP at https://viia.co/NICKDIP MERCH - https://shop.nickdip.com/ TOUR DATES AND MORE - https://nickdip.com 4/25/2025 - Cohoes Music Hall, Cohoes, NY 5/15-16/2025 - Zanies, Rosemont, IL SOCIALS -   https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

Get ready for Las Vegas style action at Bet MGM, the king of online casinos! Enjoy casino games at your fingertips with the same Vegas strip excitement MGM is famous for when you play classics like MGM Grand Millions or popular games like Blackjack, Baccarat, and Roulette. With our ever-growing library of digital slot games, a large selection of online table games, and signature BetMGM service. There's no better way to bring the excitement and ambience of Las Vegas home to you than with BetMGM Casino. Download the BetMGM Casino app today!

BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. BetMGM.com for Ts and Cs. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you please contact connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge bet MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming

Ontario I'm gonna be a good boy I'll go home and get your fucking shine box. Okay. Hi everybody. On a Monday, welcome to the show, The Great State of Georgia. How you is? What it was? Uh, great to State of Georgia. How you is, what it was. Great to be with you.

Fresh off the road from a very successful trip. One of the better ones in recent years, Tulsa. I want to thank you guys for coming out, both clubs. Tulsa, the Brick Town Comedy Club. So only about a year and a half old. And it's very great. It's a nice, what I call a meat and potatoes club that comics would appreciate and they couldn't they would not they couldn't have treated me nicer

and shit and uh and people came out it's only like five ten degrees out five ten degrees and they we got 180 people on a thursday or something which they were ecstatic about you know um if I did it if I did a friday it would have been sold like st. Louis the next night sold out they added seats at the funny bone in st. Louis god bless you st. Louis people coming out it really was fun I know I do a lot of bitching and shit and I'm still gonna cuz I was on six different fucking planes to do two nights of comedy okay because they just it happened that way I had to connect that everything I touched which is a fucking night for me got into it with a black staffer on which airline was that either Southwest or American I can't remember but anyways we're waiting

I'm in 1a the seat 1a you know and we were already the bridge thing pulled up and I'm waiting for the door to open, the door opens, and the students goes to me, you guys can go. So I start to walk out, and here comes a black girl who works for the airline, and she's got something on her hand that she's got to do. But instead of letting me go, step off the plane, she has to, I see her speed up. You know what I mean? So I try to go around her, and my bag hits her,

like knocks her off balance. She's like, you got to chill. She's like, I got to open the door at the end anyway. I go, I know it's not my first time fucking traveling. They treat you like it's your first time. I was trying to get out of her way, and I'm the fucking paying customer Okay, step aside Fucking do you train these fucking people it's insane I Mean I like hip check they're not on purpose either

I must fucking knock their over just trying to get out of the way because they should look like Can't wait to have a confrontation with an all-white guy. It's fucking, I can see it coming a mile away. I don't give a fuck. So fucking tired of it anyways. Other than that, the gigs were killer fun. That's outside of St. Louis.

You guys have seen we do Bitch in Kitchen. There's an apron with blue writing on it. It's like an expensive canvas type. That was given to me by this woman the last year and a half ago when we were in St. Louis after the show, Jennifer, and she brought her and her husband, she's like a probation off, I keep forgetting whether it's parole or probation, I can't remember. Anyways, they're watching right now going, motherfucker, we told you eight times. But they were great, they came to the show. She hands me a bag, I go I go what's it something called a gooey butter cake and it's just

what it was I'm drunk I usually don't eat that type but I get back to my room I went at it like a little fucking Ethiopian kid who saw a grasshopper I couldn't stop and it was like addicting it was only this deep and it like I like a tin foil pan it was only about this deep and it looked kind of yellow with like a chewy crust barely a cake and I'm just pulling it with my finger it's sugar and butter I don't know what it was all I know I had to have my foot removed last night at the hospital here in Savannah she kept saying it don't eat all you're gonna get fucking diabetes she wasn't kidding I'm, I'm not like a huge sugar guy,

but when you're fucking, I inhaled half of it. That was insane, but thank you guys. I get to hang out with them. That's in Tulsa, again, with the fake brick. I try to tell these guys. I don't know why you would wanna make your clubs look like every other comedy club, and so, that's a great club.

I'm just saying, I would do a different backdrop. I mean, people have had...anyways that's me somebody I was trying to pull a knife out of my head. Somebody from the balcony tossed a fucking booey knife after I did a black job. No it was great. Both clubs great, great weekend. Made a little bit of cashish which never hurts that's a long time though for me Tuesday night I don't get home till Saturday which is I mean when I was young single young comic I do that without blinking but man when you're it's fucking oh I felt like it was out there for a month which is silly but and then meet and greets after.

It was just great. These people are such diehard. My fans are almost like a cult. I can see why it was never a commercial hit. But these fuckers would follow me through a fire. You get the, you know, you get the, when you have to shake your hands with them all and shit. And I had such a good time at both places on stage.

Anyways, enough dick sucking. I guess we'll get right to it. I had other stuff, but I can't remember. First story, Doge is like Ozempic for federal government. I thought of that when I was bleeding from my ass today in the toilet after doing Ozempic. I switched to Manjaro, by the way. I get the most stubborn. My weight doesn't budge.ge I could have cancer and I'd put on five pounds. It's fucking odd man

President Trump praised Elon Musk for doing a great job heading the new department Government efficiency otherwise known as the douche but said he should be even more aggressive I'm I'm living a wet dream here with these guys Be more aggressive as he blasts through federal agencies to eliminate waste. Musk replied on X shortly after saying, will do, Mr. President. Trump's like, Elon Musk is like Trump's autistic son.

Fucking rock star. Those which was created under the Trump administration has fired tens of thousands of federal government workers and frozen billions in federal grants and foreign and people are already starting to whine and shit. Even some Republicans. This is why we're destined to fail as a species. We can't all agree this is fucking good. They just told you you your money's being

pissed to it. Again, these are the politicians that have a problem with it. Obviously all the left does. But some of the right, some of the fucking rhinos, because that's what Trump does. He's a litmus test, if you're with him or not, a constitutional litmus test, the way he governs. And, oh, they're going to slow it down. Shut it. After what we were told, people aren't mad enough that we were lied to for I don't know how many years and they got money was going to terrorist groups and shit. You should be fucking furious.

Anyways, consistent with president's instructions, all federal employees will shortly receive an email that Elon's sending out requesting to understand what they got done last week. Musk wrote in a letter. In other words, what did you do last week? So like when you get back when you're a kid in school, they go, what'd you do this summer?

You have to fuck. Beat up my sister. Learned to finger pop the neighbor. Anyways, failure to respond will be taking as a resignation. Oh my god I'm in love with these guys That's called accountability where I'm from You know I'm saying people are all whining today about it So far the department says it is saved around 55 billion right there. You should go

You know what? I'm not saying another bad thing about these guys i don't care what side you're on the fact that the left have the problems with it what's that tell you you're all about grip your fucking grifters and crafters lifters and lafters uh... fifty five billion thanks for combination

of fraud detection slash deletion contract leases cancellations Etc. So, you know, they're trimming the fucking fat like he said he ran on it Y'all fat fuck look at you the tech billionaire is aiming to slash 1 trillion Now that sounds like a lot, but how many trillion are we in debt? 35 or more than that? Trillion. Slash a trillion, which is a lot, from the federal deficit along with his team of 100 cost cutters.

And its latest move, Doge, teamed up with the United States Environmental Protection Agency to cut more than $67 million in grant money, earmarked for former President Joe Biden's environmental justice agenda. Fucking idiot. Using the word justice when you're describing a fucking environmental plan. Remember fucking Pete Buttigieg? These brits, he's a racist.

Let me fucking go home and lick your boyfriend's chest. I cleaned that up. Trump says he is considering a plan to cut a check to American taxpayers for 20% of the savings of Doge that it identifies. And it's like five grand to each family or whatever, and somebody on the left goes, what are you going to do with five grand? Oh my God. When off Joe remember he he offered seven hundred fifty dollars to the people in North Carolina or some shit. Are you fucking? They just they'll disagree with anything if Trump said it's forty thousand to each family did have a problem with it You're sick. You're mentally ill. Oh

Nick you're so biased shut the fuck up I'm for the truth I'm for the right thing I'm for common sense. A federal judge in New York issued a preliminary injunction Friday preventing Doge from accessing the Treasury Department central payment system the case was led by New York attendant Attorney General oh there she is racist pig face Letitia James. You fucking whore. That's right. Yeah that that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. And in other cases, however, judges have ruled against preventing must team from accessing

sensitive government databases. People going fucking idiots on the left are going, he's going to have access to all our personal information. Hey, dick cheese. He invented PayPal and not to mention X and everything else. He already has your information. You don't think he could – this guy backs Rockets in. They come out of the sky backwards. You don't think he can find out your social security number? You have the stupidest motherfuckers alive.

God help us, Tiny Tim. By the way, I'm reading the, I kind of missed the classics. I don't know how this happened in high school. I wasn't really, I remember we did Merchant of Venice in fifth grade, Merchant of Venice, but me and my wife were Jeopardy Freaks and I'm going, what the fuck? She's getting all the book answers because she reads like a freak. And I go, that's it. That's what I ask for Christmas. I know my classics is called.

It's a great book, 400 pages. It gives you a breakdown and a summary of each classic book, stuff about the author. And it's very good. Then I'm going to go read the actual books. Why are you doing that, Nick? I don't know. I'm just killing time till I die,

which is about 17 years from now That's all Hey specific. Yeah, that's right. That's true as Tony Soprano said that likes a He goes life's a series of distractions. Yeah till you die. He goes. Yeah, you lift weights. You go to Italy Isn't that creepy? That's how he died in Italy lift weights, you go to Italy. Isn't that creepy? That's how he died in Italy. Hey, folks, new sponsor, life doesn't have to be boring. If every day feels exactly the same, shake things up with VIA. That's V-I-I-A. VIA is dedicated to harnessing the natural benefits of hemp to make your life better. Get better sleep, have

more focus, recover more more quickly or just get high Whatever you're trying to do via can help with the products that range from zero to 100 milligrams of THC The THC and the THC free gummies and vapes are award-winning and they've got topicals Calming drops and more for you to try. I personally don't try this stuff but I know a lot of my friends who like to get high swear by this stuff. If you have aching knees or whatever, it'll take the edge off whatever pain you have. They say they get more focused.

Stop being bored, unfocused or in pain. Viya can help get things back on track and level up your life. If you're over 21, check out the link to Viya in our description and use the code NickDip, that's one word, to receive 15% off. If you're new to Viya, get a free gift of your choice. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Support the show and tell them I sent you. Enhance your every day with Viya. We thank them for sponsoring the show today. Let's move on little girl. Everybody knows you never go full retard. Oh says who. In our West Coast Stupid segment today, a trans athlete, are they still around had led

San Francisco's Waldorf salad girls a Waldorf girls basketball team to a nine and eight record in a playoff meeting against cornerstone Christian school so you can get into the playoffs with a nine and eight record one game over 500 you make the play welcome to you the United States where everybody gets a trophy but in the trans athletes absence So they were winning all those good nine games with the trans the guy who's actually saying he's a woman With that trans athletes absence San Francisco lost to cornerstone by 26 points, 56 to 30, proving once again you need a twig and some berries, a point, strong power forward.

No reason has been given for the athlete's absence. I'm guessing probably a heavy day maybe. News that Cornerstone would play ignited national media coverage admitted ongoing conflict between the state of california who thinks they can do whatever they want in president donald trump's administration over the issues of trans inclusion in girl sports it's really simple nobody wants it again it's an eighty twenty

eighty twenty uh... issue in other words, 80% of people agree with Trump, 20 don't. And the Democrats always take the 20% and they wonder why they get smoked. That's because you don't want to, you don't want what Americans want because you're not really Americans. You want to change this place. Started with the fucking Obama going, I'm going to change,. You don't you don't fundamentally change something that you like Ask my wife for the marriage thing Additionally the California interscholastic Federation CIF Is under investigation by Trump's Department of Education and Office of Civil Rights as it continues to instruct schools

to allow trans athletes to compete as women in Defiance of the president's executive order. So Trump's like, you're not hearing what we're saying him Trump's executive order would cut federal funding for any institution that enables trans athletes to compete against girls and women. Speaking of that, I watched UFC some good fights this week. According to USA Facts, California public schools receive about 16.8 billion with a B per year, which is almost 14% or one in every seven dollars of public school funding, which is well above the national average. We've been throwing money at education in this country for years.

Once again, the left is on the wrong side. Throw, that was their answer to everything. Throw money at it, throw money at it. Meanwhile, we're watching grades and students' reading levels for the last thirty plummeting money's not the fucking answer and then you have the balls to argue with trump or elon when they come up with different idea you're really retarded i don't know what else to say

uh... there was a clip this week i don't know why i didn't put it on the show uh... trump was somewhere speaking might have been cpec or maybe the governor's thing when he meets all the governors Anyways, he was speaking and talking about was it this issue or was it immigration? I? forget I Think it was this About women and guys playing women's sports and he said the most of us agree

Well, he said the governor is a governor from Maine here governor or senator Susan Collins and she's senator I don't know she always goes against Trump but I think she's Republican I believe so she she she goes yeah no I'm gonna do it what our federal law says and Trump goes I am the federal law And she goes like this real fucking glib. I'll see you in court What a fucking twat she's like this old shaky lady, by the way talks like So trump goes trump goes well, you're not gonna get the federal funding And he then he ends it by going she goes well, i'll see you in court He goes y'all see it in court. That'll be an easy one

And then he goes something about you're not gonna be in politics much longer Fucking gives her the old zing zanger Anyways, I think she's a Republican now. She's a Democrat. Oh, is she really? All right, my bad She's always pushing against Anything Trump has to say like all the laugh I can dumb lefties anyways folks We I cross st. Louis and Tulsa off the thing and if you go to nickdip.com You want to see where I'm appearing click on the tour button?

April 25th coho's musical coho's New York. We're moving Albuquerque We're moving that one because we want to pair it up with another gig out west or whatever. April 25th, Cahos Music Hall, Cahos, New York. Looking forward to that. In May 15 and 16, one of my favorite clubs, Zany's in Rosemont, Illinois. If you want to support my show, get some of the merchandise that I have the young Asian kids in my basement making. Silly hats and sweatshirts and Nick DiPaulo tampons and IUDs and all kinds of we got the rubber nose and Nick DiPaulo glasses and fake shoulder blades not to

mention hoodies. Anyhow go to nickdip.com for all that baseball shirts. You can watch full episodes of my show, Lotto with the Crowder, and all exclusive Rumble content ad free with one subscription. So join Rumble Premium and enter promo code MUDCLUB, one word, to get $10 off an annual subscription. Hi, good night everybody. I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a good boy I'm out!