The Nick DiPaolo Show - MTG's Attempted Murder | Nick Di Paolo Show #1264

Episode Date: August 29, 2022

Judge to rule on Special Master. Trans using SWAT to try and kill Greene. Mahr goes after lib moron. FLA man seeks prostitute on honeymoon. NYC Knock-out games. Biden admission?

It feels fucking good! You and your small dick and your pussy way of killing animals! And it feels good! You have all the blood on your face! What a bitch. guitar solo Here's the... How are you, folks? Great to be with you. Dallas, how are you? Good weekend? Great show tonight. I got a big-titted actress, Linda Evans, and a very funny young comedian, Soupy Sales, and one of the Los Angeles Rams, great defensive end, and an actor, Mr. Fred Dreyer. That and stupid tit tricks. Oh, that's letterman. I'm sorry.

Anyhow, any he. How are you, folks? Monday. Always Monday. Always goddamn Monday. Make sure to enjoy your cake. No, make sure to join me on Patreon to get extra stories each day. It's called the Nick DiPaolo Show Encore.

And today I'll be talking about Paul Stanley from Kiss. Speaking out about the homeless situation in Los Angeles. Guy is very eloquent, very smart. Most New York Jews are. I'm just saying. I love him. Loved Kiss since I was a kid.

You also get access to all the past shows, including the Encore shows, discounts on merchandise, and more. Visit patreon.com slash the Nick DiPaolo show to sign up today. I am so excited. Over the weekend, we had a bunch of people signing up at Patreon. Do you understand? We're back in the groove.

Why? Because things are getting very dire out there. Why? Because things are getting very dire out there. And the worse Biden and those leftists get, the better it is for people like me. Because most of the country, and don't get me half, more than half feel like we do, folks. The only reason you think the country's more liberal than it is is because they control the fucking blowhorn. Just remember that. I still believe with this silent majority, by mile in all this talk about, ooh, Joe's having a good month. And I keep seeing stories about the Dems.

I saw one today saying they might even keep the House and the Senate. Not a, I'll bet my, yeah, my mother's old. Who cares? I'll bet, I don't know, I got a niece who's 22 or something. I'll bet her life on it. It's a tsunami. A red salami tsunami. You won't believe what kind of, anyways. Let me get that off my titties. What do we got for him, Johnny?

Well, you'll get turtle wax. Headline, first story, Special Massa is the headline of the first story. Hear ye! Oh, yeah. Hear ye! The court's in session. The court's in session now.

Here come the judge. Here come the judge. A federal judge said Saturday, she, oh my God, a girl judge said saturday she oh my god a girl judge i love it she's inclined to grant donald trump's request to bring an outsider to oversee the review of more than two dozen boxes of materials the fbi seized from the former president's florida state earlier this month in her brief order u.s District Court Judge Eileen Cannon also directed the Justice Department, by the way, appointed by the Trump administration, to produce, by Tuesday,

a more detailed list of items seized from Trump's residence on August 8th, as well as statutes of the government's ongoing review of those materials, which include the use of a filter team to screen for attorney-client privileged records. Cannon, who was nominated by Trump, Who's your fucking boss, huh? Who's your fucking boss? and confirmed by the Senate

about a week after his defeat in 2020, said she plans to hold a hearing Thursday in West Palm Beach on the former president's request for a special master. So adorable. And she's cute too. She typically convenes court in Fort Pierce, Florida, about an hour's drive north of here. The judge's two-page order giving notice of her preliminary intent to appoint a special master in this case came less than a day after Trump's attorney late Friday made a pitch for an independent review of the

materials seized from his Mar-a-Lago estate and before prosecutors filed any reply. She asked Trump to file a brief responding to the Justice Department's produced list of seized materials. She also asked both sides, this is the judge asking, to describe specifically the role they envision for a special master. I can think of a few. And she asked Department of Justice to reveal the status of its filter review. Well, who makes up this issue? Who comes up? And whether any investigators outside of the review team had seen the seized material. Shut up. Mind your fucking business and shut up.

Exactly. Of course, you know, the left is saying this isn't a raid because there was affidavits and subpoenas involved, whatever the hell. Yeah, whatever. You think you maybe did that so it wouldn't look like technically a... Boy, you guys suck at being bad. And everybody's getting nervous now. My buddy just now texted me, I think they're going to really indict him. Whatever. Go ahead, because Lindsey Graham, that big girl, finally said something I agree with. If he does that, he said there'll be rioting in the streets. That'll be

refreshing, huh? Seriously, white people out there busting up shit. And we won't destroy our own neighborhoods either, if you know what I'm saying. What, are you going to see a bunch of people in Beverly Hills busting into Gucci?

Black people watch right now going, well, you ain't coming to my neighborhood. You don't even know when it's safe. Anyhow, all right, well, I don't know. We'll turn on the Koreans. Red meat. Stays in your colon for 10 years. So does my boyfriend. is. So does my boyfriend. Anyway. So he wants a special master. Did you get that? Somebody independent.

Take a look at all the shit that supposedly he stole. It's really sad what they're going through here. It's just... And again, watch TV. Believe who you want to believe. These people on MSNBC, TV host, black guy, L.E. Mustel, he's like, why isn't he already in jail?

And I was having this discussion with Dallas. I don't think they believe that. They just know if they say outrageous shit, there's enough dummies out there on the left. Honestly, can I ask you a question? And again, I can't even ask this question because obviously you're DePaulo fans. You vote like I do. But the next time you see a stupid fucking niece or your aunt who votes Democrat, just look them in the third eye or the lazy eye. Ugly. I have never seen a hunt brought on the left. They don't douche.

They don't shave their mustaches or their legs. Oh, Nick, you're being ridiculous. Just look at him and go, okay, three years of the Mueller probe. You came up with nothing. You tried to impeach him. You got nothing. The Kavanaugh hearings, you lied all about that. Not to mention Hunter's laptop.

That was actually, we know now that through the election. But you're still going to vote Democrat? Ask ask them that I know you guys vote like me hopefully you have a retarded person in the room with you tonight watching the show but look them in the eye go and we know all that yet you're still gonna vote Democrat and see you see if they have an answer for that if they do do, call me at 1-976-457-PRICK. I've got to be careful, my caps will come off. Let's move on to story number two. Trans rights target Taylor Greene. You know Marjorie Taylor Greene, MTG? I fell in love with her a couple years ago when she was running for Congress down here. She's from South Carolina. She had ago, and she was running for Congress down here. She's from South Carolina.

She had an ad when she's holding an AR-15. I'm like, I don't give a fuck what you guys are saying. Where's the lever? My new bill, this is Marjorie Taylor Greene talking. I didn't skip. Did I skip anything? All right. I thought I hit the button.

My new bill will protect children's innocence. I thought I hit the button. My new bill will protect children's innocence. The left's response, she's trying to push this bill through Congress because of all the nastiness with the, you know, the in-school indoctrination, giving your kids pronouns, operating on, you know, 15-year-old girls. She's trying to protect the kids. What a horrible sentiment. The left's response, they tried to get me killed, she said. Someone wanted to kill,

she says, have me killed, wanted to have the police murder me because I'm trying to protect kids, and she's had enough of this. These trans rights assholes, again, the left, they always resort to violence because they can't win the arguments. And it's like what two-year-olds do when they can't get to where they stop breaking shit and they want to break your head. But that's literally, if you guys don't know what swatting is, most of you probably do, it's what, like, Internet geeks do, a lot of them, not just gamers, but people that are on the internet all the time, they find somebody they don't like, because somebody pisses them off, they'll call, you know, they'll use a computer generated voice, and call the PlayStation, say there's a guy holding his wife hostage, a gun to her head, at so-and-so address, and they show up, which you can tell how dangerous that could be right

and they show up and and the people are at home it's two in the morning go what there's nothing going on here just to create a situation um so they're threatening the life of a sitting congressperson and let's see again if there's any uh follow-up let's listen to uh uh marjorie you woken up at three in the morning with police officers at the door, guns drawn. It's terrifying. It's terrifying. Sound asleep. You hear a doorbell knock at the door, seeing flashlights. Open the front door to guns drawn. And you're shocked. You don't know what's happening. And then the police are having the same situation.

They don't know if they're responding to a horrible incident where someone has been killed or possibly could be killed, but they're there to do their job, and they quickly figured out that I was swatted, and it's happened twice now. That's fucking insane. I just, again, instead of reverse the races, we're going to have to come up with a reverse the parties. Can you imagine a Republican guy doing that to a, I don't know, to AOC? Are you shitting me? It just shows you how much non-news that the left covers.

Because if something like that happened the other way around, you'd see that for days on end saying how extreme and violent didn't and they're the extremists they're the violent ones there's actually a little bit more footage of the cops coming in the house i wanted to show you just so you believe us at uh three in the friggin morning i'm gonna go talk to my daughter and and her husband and let them know that you know what's happening and but you can see that they still had guns drawn because this this is where police officers don't know they don't know if the call is real and they have to take it serious that the call may be real danger will robinson danger no will robinson danger prosecutors say police

responded to the home of the 28 year old andold Andrew Finch on December 28th of 2017. Oh, this is the second story, right? This is the swatting. I watched a documentary on this. This is about a guy who actually got killed because somebody swatted him. A couple of gamers, they got in a fight, and this guy was involved. So one of the gamers called the third party and said, I want you to go to this address and swat this guy who was the other gamer he was arguing with.

Turns out that guy didn't live there anymore. So this guy, Andrew Finch, lived there. Ends up, well, you'll see. that guy didn't live there anymore. So this guy, Andrew Finch, lived there. Ends up, well, you'll see. Andrew Finch on December 28, 2017, after a caller falsely claimed to be inside with hostages and a gun,

a style prank known as swatting, Finch, unaware of the false report, answered the door, was fatally shot on his porch by officers who had surrounded his home. How fucking evil. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world

he didn't exist. So this is actual footage of this back in 2017 of this guy getting killed because somebody swatted him and had the wrong address. She is! Walk this way!

Walk! Yeah, they killed him right from there. Ah, just a prank, just a practical joke. Do you see? So they said, Marjorie Taylor Greene, that a woman had a gun. She could have come to the door, right? If somebody rings your doorbell at three in the

morning, your first instinct is to pick up your gun. At least mine is. She could have opened the door and got blasted. Now, this should be all over the fucking news. Joe Rogan should be talking about it for the next month and anybody else with any power. But no.

No. They just sort of brushed it off. I gave Gutfeld a great joke for his monologue for this. That's right. I found funny in this death threat. Anyways, so that is a big deal, folks. And again, it's just power for the core. Remember, we already forgot about the guy that showed up at, what justice was it? A couple months ago? Huh? No, no, no. A couple months ago when the pro-abortion, they showed up at, who's, what justice was it? A couple months ago. Huh? No, no, no. A couple months ago

when the pro-abortion, they showed up at his house. Remember? Tried to threaten, they threatened his frigging life. The guy had a, remember? He had a gun, this kid.

He was going to kill him. Anyways, before I move on, the show's entirely supported by you guys. You know that. It says listeners. I think watchers too.

Thank you to those who joined on Patreon in the past week and those who may contribute. This know that. It says listeners. I think watchers too. Thank you to those who joined on Patreon in the past week and those who may contribute. This excites me to no end. I feel like we're back on track. Please continue to do so and I'll promise I'll keep working to spread honest and direct comedy and commentary through

the show. You can contribute at nickdip.com. I will read your name on the show and then have you swatted. Anyways, thanks a lot for contributing Dickdip.com. I will read your name on the show and then have you swatted. No, no, no, no. Anyways, thanks a lot for contributing and keeping us alive. In our next segment, what do we got tonight? Dirty, filthy libs eating dirty, filthy libs. Meathead butts heads with shithead.

I don't know if you guys saw this. Rob Reiner, if you guys, I think most of you are my age. Dallas is actually maybe too young, but I know you know all in the family because it's been running forever. And you guys all know that Rob Reiner played a liberal. Actually, when liberals had a little bit of brains, you know what I mean? They weren't totally extremist left-wing nutcases. But it turns out he's a fucking retard. You'd think people gain wisdom when they get older. Well, there's that old saying, if you're young and a Republican, you have no soul. And then if you're old and a Democrat, you have no brain. Well, that fits this jerk off perfectly. And he's not dumb because the guy makes great movies.

He's not a dumb person. It just shows what happens when you grab onto an ideal, especially if you're successful in Hollywood and you're marinating in this shit. You don't hear any other viewpoints. You don't read anything but the New York Times. This is what fucking, he was on Bill Maher. At the beginning

of this clip, Bill Maher's explaining what he's saying is, as far as politics, the climate today, either side, but it's only the left that does this, calls the other side evil. And when you do that, you have every right to, you know, kill somebody who's evil or whatever. Which is what they're doing to Trump. Making him a Nazi evil. So this is Bill Maher. Watch how ignorant Rob Reiner is about what's going on. The other side is so evil, anything is justified in preventing them from taking office.

Is it? No, no. You know what's not justified? Listen to this. Using armed violence to try to kill people in the Capitol. That's not justified. Pause. Pause. That might be the stupidest

fucking statement. Using armed violence. Nobody had a gun. I'll repeat it again, you dummy. You meathead Polack. Nobody had a gun but the black Capitol cop that shot the white woman and killed her. Nobody

inside had a gun. It wasn't, they weren't charged with insurrection. So how dangerous was it, Rob? You dickhead. Watch Bill Maher has to straighten him out. Go ahead. Was it answer this question? The question is, was it appropriate to bury the Hunter it appropriate the question is what he's getting

all defensive bury the hunter by you're talking about the press doing that he's saying that's what they did and that is what they did they buried the hunter biden story before the election because they were like we can't risk having the election thrown to trump we'll tell them after the election and we know for a fact that that's what they did of course you don't follow this you know for a fact that that's what they did? Of course. You don't follow this? You know for a fact that that's what they did? I don't know what they did. I know, because you only watch MSNBC. No, that's not true.

Oh, my God. Well, then you would know about this. I do know about that. Pause. What a moment. What a seminal moment in television. Seriously, Bill Maher making fun of MSNBC watchers, which you know he was. I swear to God he's watching

Gutfeld and getting educated and doing what he has to do to stay fucking relevant. Although he's got all the money in the world. I don't even want to give a shit. But do you believe that? He brought up MSNBC tongue in cheek sort of making fun of people. And this dickhead's

argument, well, do you know that for a fact? Well, do you know do you know that for a fact? Well, do you know the sun is hot for a fact? Do you know what I'm saying? You stupid fuck. He's like, I was like a child. We don't know that. What do you want to,

you want it on film? That all started, by the way, after the OJ thing. You got to have it on film, you know. But what a child, he doesn't even know what's going on. Watch. I do know about that, and I do watch Fox. But the point is, you're going to prove now that the press played, you know, tried to.

They're admitting it. The press is admitting it. Yes, that's not even an issue anymore. Oh, my God. This is stupid. This is stupid. This is stupid. This is stupid. And I'd say to Bill Maher, hey, Bill, when did you wake up exactly? Yeah.

Because we've been saying this shit about a million things for the last 20 years, and you were playing the role of Rob Reiner and going, well, how do you know? What, really? of Rob Reiner and going, well, how do you know? What? Really? It's so obvious now that even Bill Maher, they're so off the reservation, the left, that even Bill Maher is like a moderate going, what the? Finally. And they call these people woke. They are finally woke for the right reasons. But you hear Rob Reiner turn into a kid. Do you have a picture of it? Fucking dinkweed.

Yeah, so he played a liberal for years on the greatest sitcom ever, and I say that because it was socially relevant. It was groundbreaking in the 70s. And I know we all love Cheers and Seinfeld and whatever the fuck else. But as far as I like real shit, I like stuff based, especially socially. I like it. I like

the back and forth. And it's hard to make that funny. And they did it brilliantly. They sort of made Archie out to be. Well, here's Archie lecturing Rob Reiner when he was playing Meathead. Watch this. You're the one that needs an American history lesson. You don't know nothing about Lady Liberty. Standing there in a hop with her torch on high, screaming out to all the nations in the world, send me your poor, your deadbeats, your filthy.

And all the nations sent them in here. They come swarming in like ants. With Spanish PRs. With the caribou in them. Caribou. With the jacks. and all the nations sent them in here. They come swarming in like ants. With Spanish PRs. With the caribou men. Caribou.

Your Japs. Your Chinamen. Your Crouch and your Heads. And the reason why. They come in here and they're all free to live in their own separate sections. Where they feel safe and they bust your head if you go in there that's what makes your mother the great buddy yeah there's the same face rob reiner having he's on bill mark he was the best guy around see that show was a million for a five, but you know who, who the fuck, was it Carl Reiner? No, not Reiner. What's his name? The other big lip. Anyways, the point being Archie was supposed to be kind of like this ignorant fucking, but, and they're still making that mistake

because yeah, the truth equals ignorance to the left, back then and now. That's as relevant as ever. Anyways, yeah, he was wrong about a lot of shit, but, well, he said he'd been, don't judge him on his fucking words, judge him on his actions. But anyhow, that made me laugh that Rob Reiner, that Bill Maher goes, what, you're not paying attention to this? God, it was great. No, no, no, no!

Ooh, in our FLA segment tonight, what we got here? Florida. I throw one of these light ones in the middle, folks, because the news is very heavy. Good stories, but a little heavy. So let's cleanse our palate with some dog shit from Florida. They never let us down, do they? A Florida man was arrested on his honeymoon after he answered an ad for a prostitute.

Here's where women are so right about men. According to a local report, You're a crumb creep. again on his honeymoon, Paul Tarofsky, 34, left his new bride sleeping. Was she sleeping or did he knock her out with a hammer? In their hotel room

in Tampa, went out to meet a prostitute he had connected with online. Authorities said, how are you doing? Perhaps you'd like me to come in there and wash your dick for you. That's who he met, a guy named Kevin Chance.

When the self-employed businessman, now single, arrived at the Hyatt Hotel, he was placed in handcuffs. So he went to meet the poor at a Hyatt. It was a sting operation. And I know this guy's reaction. Of all the times I've done this to my wife. Like when she was my girlfriend. I can't believe it on my honeymoon.

I actually know, I know a guy, I won't mention his name. Let's call him Big Bob. But I know a kid whose father actually did this. Very greasy Italian fellow who we love very much back in the 50s he told me this story in such detail i know he's not lying just a crazy and you should be ashamed maybe on a wedding anniversary but not what were they celebrating honey oh they were celebrating an anniversary uh anyways he was placed in cuffs, caught up in a sting operation, local police, to crack down on sex trafficking. Don't you have anything else to do?

Don't you move, you motherfucker. I'll blow your brains out. Yeah, but my wife's opening her toaster. I got to get back to the hotel. The only question here was, as a wedding guest, was it too late? Oh, this is a guy trying to be funny in the article. Was it too late to get, oh, no, the sheriff said this, right? Was it too late to get the gifts that they gave returned back to the people at the wedding?

And he occurred. That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. Of course it is, Sheriff. County Sheriff Chad Chronister. Stick to your day job, Slappy. Adding that Turbowski

was one of the 176 men arrested in a sting opera. Don't you guys get better shit to do in Florida? I'm sorry. Again, here's where I part with the real conservatives. Prostitution should be legal. It should be mandatory

for boys under 14. It's a good way to learn the anatomy. and find out about STDs and shit. I banged a prostitute on my 21st birthday. It was actually a Super Bowl. Remember they used to play a Super Bowl at the end of January? That's my birthday the 31st. And I had never, so my buddies thought it was funny they could get me a hooker. And they watched through the door was open a crack. They said my form was horrible. And I think they found her dead a year later. I swear to God

my buddy Elton. Anyways, I was just trying to, you know, liven up the halftime show. Isn't that sweet that they did that for me? Seriously. Anyhow, any he, any who. Hey guys, make sure to grab an official Nick DiPaolo show T-shirt or hat or mug or red leather shorts for yourself or your gay boyfriend, Timmy. Or buy something for somebody else.

Purchasing merch is another way to help support this show and also be the best dressed guy or girl or in between. Whatever, sis, boom, bah, in the town. I also love getting pictures sent in from you fans of your college-age daughters in my t-shirts, drunk out of their minds, hanging off a balcony with three young colored kids. Your fans or your kids or your dogs or whatever wearing the stuff. Really makes my day, said Tommy. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com and click on store. Thank you guys very, very much.

Comedy been very, very good to me. Let's move on to colored cowards. Oh, I just used that word. And why do you use that word, Nick? Is it racist? No, because black people call themselves people of color. So when they brought that back, I can say colored. You're not going to fucking bully me as far as linguistically. I'm not going to put up with it. Kiss my grits. How's that for strong language? Knockout games are back. I wonder who's doing them. What race in our country would be doing?

The attack on New Yorkers is very real. We have to keep our heads on a swivel. Retired NYPD officer Michael Algezar and adjunct professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice told the New York Post. And again, don't prejudge, Nick. You don't know who that... These blacks. Who knows where they're going to take the wrong way. It's not only the mentally ill who are committing these assaults.

There are individuals who are angry, bored, and brazen who know they are not going to be processed. Again, we can't mention and I'm going to say this again for the billionth time until we can actually come out and pinpoint. And I know you're going to go and I can't do can't say this again, but not every, I know, I know that. Everybody knows that. We shouldn't have to fucking preempt every statement with that. Enough so that you know who I'm talking about. What, do the viral videos I watch 10 a day for the last year lie? Well, what are you suggesting?

I'm just saying don't be afraid to put it in the fucking article. You point out everything else by race, Asians are this, but you know, the best students in the country, Indians, this, blah, blah, blah, whatever. Anyways, he's referring to the city's famously woke and lax bail laws, which regularly let serial offenders back onto the street. And they do it intentionally because they don't give a shit about you. They're trying to flip the society upside down, turn us against each other. And I just don't understand how it manifests itself like this. There's a lot of poor white kids who don't do this and do, but again, this and do but again um emboldening many of them to commit even more crimes because they know they're going to be back on the streets um i actually tweeted this i don't know i i send my

shit through my manager i don't even look at because i'm still being shadowbent but i said hey blm and white libs explain this without bringing up slavery. This is the most cowardice, craven fucking act I think I've ever seen it before. But I don't know if this kid's alive the way he felt. Watch this. Black on black, by the way.

Face first on that concrete ground, marble, whatever. Look it. And nobody helping except for this lady who feels guilty, so she picks the kid's phone up and doesn't see if he's all right. Yeah, moves it three feet. Now she's done her. Here comes the security guy. He's going...

Yeah, I don't know if he's going after... If he is, he's taking his sweet fucking time. Or he just stayed out of it. It is a low point for this country, man. After all the craziness

that's been going on, in general, now the knockout, like it ever went away. Ask Asian, old Asian people if it went away in any of the cities on both coasts. And again, it's always the fucking Irish and the Amish. I'm sick of them. This was this broke right before we came on the air.

I like to say I like our lives. What's the headline? Cats out of the bag of shit. For nearly two years, this is classic. Oh, did I say this about the last story? There's something wrong with the black man's mind. There's something wrong with his mind. Yeah, we got the point. For nearly two years now, we've been told that people who question our election integrity are a threat to our democracy. That's a quote, right? We always hear that from the left.

And anyone who says otherwise is just leading the American people down this path of lies. It was strange then that President Joe Biden told a group of rally goers in Maryland this past Thursday, this is what he's talking about, and listens to what he says at the end that has the internet buzzing. This is, you can't call it a Freudian slip. I don't know what you call it. An admission by a, this is why it's dangerous to have a guy who's out of his mind. He could bore it out the codes. You know what I mean?

He'll look at his watch and go 7-11-14-9-3. That's what time it is. Bang! Anyways, listen to what he says at the end. There's one word that sticks out. We'll protect voting rights. We'll pass election reform and make sure no one

ever has the opportunity to steal an election again. What? What? What? What did you say? Again? What are we doing? What's going on right now?

Never steal an election again. Everybody online, people just fucking on both sides. Again? Well, when was the last one that was... Oh, I know Joe. He just... You know his handlers like AOC or whoever? Obama going, oh my God.

Oh my God. Even for him. If you don't think that last one was stolen, I can't even hang out in a room with you folks. Unless you're, I don't know, Britney Spears having trouble with your family again, I can't even hang out in a room with you folks. Unless you're, I don't know, Britney Spears having trouble with your family again, I'll take you in. Anyhow, all I could decide, I see him on TV and I get irrationally angry now. I have to change the channel real quick. I guess it's, you know, sort of like Trump derangement syndrome. But we all know this guy's a lion's sack of shit who was the benefit of stealing the last fucking election.

Has no business being in office. And I just want to sing a song to him. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. I get that stinking cunt. That ain't true, you balls are blue, you dirty fucking cunt. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, big duck, butt, and fur And everybody knows it, bloopin' boogie, fuckin', fuckin' peg

What? A lot of noise outside. Finally tonight, oh, that was it? Oh, what good timing. I did it beautifully. Hey, I want to thank you guys, and I'm excited. I don't get excited about much. Hey, I cut the grass this weekend, folks. This is why I love my house.

It took me 18, 19 minutes. 19 minutes with an electric mower. Like a little fag out there. It's quiet. If you can get the cars like this and bring it down to about 11 grand, because fuck you, I'll buy one. Anyways, I'm really happy to welcome all of our new patrons.

We had a lot over the weekend in Searcy. That means I like showing up. Elliot Pierce, Lonnie Jones, Tom Sheridan. Yummy down on this. They all moved from the Comics Gym to Patreon. So thank you guys. Don't forget to do that. We left out Nicole.

Brandon Sparks, Marius from Norway. Andrew Valentino's catfish voice box. What the fuck? Hello, Andrew. Is that you? Dennis Larry said a great bit about the guys that had cancer and they talk out of the... He goes, they pull up to a drive-thru at McDonald's. I'll have a Big Mac and a Diet Coke.

Hey, fuck you. You're making fun of me. I'm not making fun of you. This is how I talk. Fuck you. Anyways, Esker Evans. Dan Kistler. Again, the eyes are all watery by the end of the show.

Daniel. Daniel's traveling tonight on a plane. I can see. Jordan Martinez. ZT Comedy's traveling tonight on a plane. I can see. Jordan Martinez. ZT Comedy. I wonder what that is. Thomas Dernan. Joe and Joss Smith. CW7576. Deborah Dempsey. Scott McBride. And so much shit. We have also created a new military level at Patreon. It's only for veterans and active duty. I want to thank the following patriots for supporting the show and serving our country. Slayer Watcher?

What's the M mean? Military, I guess. Yeah. Like we need that. Colin Gaspard. John Warner. Michael Altman. This is tremendous.

These are real patriots. Kenneth Ferreira. For those of you that want to support the show with a one-time or automated monthly contribution without signing up on Patreon, you can do that at nickdip.com forward slash podcast and click on the contribution link. You can use a credit card, a debit card, PayPal, Cash App, or Venmo, thanks to my wife, who figured all this out in a second. Thank you to Leonard Farida, Paul Sagnella, Scott Brown, and Deborah Dempsey. Again, Frank Stone, Douglas Young, Joseph Hirsch, and Nico Papadopoulos

for supporting the show with a contribution. Thank you guys all so much. I mean that from the bottom of my little black heart. Don't forget Cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or relative. Go to Cameo.com. Click on my profile. They'll explain me to roast a friend or relative. Go to cameo.com, click on my profile. They'll explain it to you. That's it. You guys think it? I'll say it as I have been for a thousand years. You're welcome. See you back here tomorrow. Take care. guitar solo Outro Music