The Nick DiPaolo Show - Musk a 1st Amendment Guy | Nick Di Paolo Show #698

Episode Date: April 26, 2022

Musk buys out Twitter. Louisiana 1 Biden 0. Psaki dodges Hunter question. Umpire punched by mother. Rogan on Tyson. Trump threatens Putin.

🎵 Oh yeah, how are you folks? Welcome to the show. You dirty pigs. You fucking homos. Good night, everybody. Had a good career. And put that on Facebook. Wherever. I'm banned throughout the universe for saying,

Hey, masks are bad for you. You deserve to die. Well, all that's going to change, you left-wing cocksuckers. You anti-First Amendment motherless fuckstains. Even though Twitter is the smallest of all these platforms, it's one of the most influential. And, yeah, that's right. There's a man in charge now who's not afraid of free speech. These cocksuckers, you better free ride.

I'll get you in a few minutes. First, my Red Sox. Again, two nights ago, they're no-hitting to the fucking 10th inning. They go ahead by two runs and lose in the bottom of the 10th. Last night,

down 2-0. 8th inning, we tie it up only to fucking give up a grand slam in the 9th or whatever the fuck. Dante Bichette's kid. I call him Sharon. He's got nice long blonde. I like these guys.

That Vlad Guerrero, his old man would swing at anything. It was like he had a fly swatter up there. He would swing at anything and hit it. He hit a ball that bounced. I remember this. It bounced in the dirt in front of the plate, and he still made contact. He would swing it at him. This kid's got a discerning eye.

He's got his all-man's power, and he dropped about 30 pounds from last year. Fucking guy almost beat out a ground ball last night. Led the league in fucking, what, homers, RBIs, OPS, on-base percentage, like every offensive category. Fucking Blue Jays are stocked. That division. Anyways, why am I opening with baseball

again? Folks, I can't help it. If you guys are theater majors. And there's no football. And there's no football. What do you mean? You're not betting on the USFL? I had the Birmingham Faggots minus 10 last night. And they lost to the Cheese Eaters from Wisconsin. But anyhow, stayed up again until 2.30.

Found a spinoff of Evil Lives Here. Something like Shadow, Evil Lives Here in the Shadow. It's a spinoff. Terrible story about a 12- 12 year old girl doing a paper right up in binghamton it was national news back in the 70s or 80s some guy a few houses down her mother would go i'm running spoiler alert uh her mother would go on the paper route with her every day just in case right one day she doesn't her mother would go on the paper route with her every day, just in case, right? One day she doesn't. Her mother had something in the oven, and she said, all right, you know, you can do it, but, you know, be careful, but never comes home. Guy about six houses down.

Rapes her, kills her in the basement. Anyways, that's the lightest story I have. Let's talk about pediatric cancer. I miss those. Well, I think they're still running them, and I'm not making fun of kids with cancer, all right? Matter of fact, I'm signing up for the St. Jude. You send money every month.

Fucking little kid needs a wig. He's going to get a wig. Listen, what? That's not even funny i'm just saying i miss those commercials with that kid alec you know the little kid in a red shirt it's adorable blanket yeah jay leno disease i used to say that on my new york radio show people go fucking crazy i don't know i'm killing. Any idea what time we started?

About four minutes ago? Alright. Let me write down. I got a gynecology appointment. Pap smear. And again, I suggest you guys when you're horny and I don't know, you're sick of porn, if you want something a little softer, you go to YouTube. They have these pelvic, female pelvic exams.

I say this on stage, now people cry. I go, I got a great marriage. She's upstairs watching Friends reruns. I'm watching Pap Smears on YouTube. How to do it with a fucking spork and a can of Cheez Whiz. Anyways, let's get right to the big story, ladies and gentlemen. Who am I, Ted Koppel? Don't I have a mouse?

I'm losing my shit. Elon Musk, you know who he is, right? Young kid, richest, $276 billion. That was last week. It probably compounds everything. Imagine the interest on that. That's just in his savings account at the local bank, folks. 276 bill with a B.

What's that like? I'd love to catch him in the dollar store. Elon Musk clinched a deal to buy Twitter Inc. That's good news for people who think like us. You guys know why. For $44 billion. You know, just a quick purchase. On Monday he did that.

And a transaction that will shift control of the social media platform populated by millions of Marxist-Communist stinky left-wing fucks. Anyways, populated by millions of users and global leaders to the world's richest person. Global leaders except for Donald Trump. So we will welcome him back with open arms. People are going, you think he'll, what do you mean you think? Fucking, he's taking it all before,

it's not for the money. He should make, he should make Trump like a fucking vice president, a co-partner or some shit. I love Twitter. I could tell anybody to fuck off at any time.

I will respond strongly. Anyways, I'm excited about it. You should be too because you guys think like I do politically and you should be too because you guys think like i do politically and you should be sick of being again i got shadow banned six seven years ago i was up to 106 000 it was moving nice and then they just it started going backwards they couldn't even fake it with me hey everybody we're all gonna get laid let's hope so it is a seminal moment

for the 16 yearyear-old company, which emerged as one of the world's most influential public squares and now faces a string of challenges. Oh, does it? Is the First Amendment a real challenge? Is it? Musk, who calls himself a free speech absolutist. By the way, folks, I'm just lazy.

I didn't take the time to pull clips of all the people that are having meltdowns on MSNBC. There were too many. You'd be there all night. Yeah, I should have picked one or two. But again, fucking girl get kidnapped. I fucking paper route. I had to know what happened.

Anyways, he calls himself a free speech absolutist. Has criticized Twitter's moderation. So has anybody that thinks like us he wants twitter's algorithm for prioritizing tweets to be public and you know what that means folks because they have these algorithms that pick up on guys like me and you don't hear from me good uh tweetsets to be public and objects, excuse me, to given too much power on the service. That makes no sense. I don't know who wrote this.

Objects to given power on the service. And objects to. Oh, my God. Hold on. I can't read now. And objects to. Thank you, teacher. Is it not better to?

I'm making fun of the guy that wrote it. But public and objects. And objects to giving too much power on the service to corporations that advertise. Anytime, that's always a question. When I go to a radio show, you know, even when I do my podcast, I'm like, who's going to sponsor? But, you know, then I look over and Anthony Comia, who's no shrinking, vile-headed sponsors. It was always like sex toy shops. Daniel Ives, acting manager at WebBus Securities.

He's a financial whiz. He's going to explain what he thinks as far as the purchase of Twitter by Elon. The first one, he's going to talk about why Twitter finally caved. I think there were two issues that really changed the board's mind to do a U-turn on the Musk bid. One was the financing. Once Musk outlined the financing, that really was the clock striking 12 for the board, put their feet to the fire. And second was no other bidder coming. Once another bidder did not come, they were at the altar, but no one came.

That's why ultimately they called back Musk. I came at my altar when I was getting there. Boy, the priest didn't like that, but he had his hand on my peepee. Listen. He's a smart guy. He doesn't like neckties. And then on the second clip he talks about the possible changes that

Elon might make to Twitter, I believe. I think Musk likely becomes chairman, not CEO, takes historical social media experience, people that come into Twitter, make it a subscription model, probably a paid subscription model, increase cash flow. There will clearly be changes from a constriction and what people could say.

And that's gonna be a tight wire act, especially in this environment. But ultimately, taking pride is going to have a lot of changes for Twitter. But Musk just bet 20% of his net worth on Twitter. It's not just about freedom of speech. I look at it, that's the reason it is. He don't need the money. He's saying it's an investment or whatever the fuck, right?

I think that's what he's implying. Well, I don't think he needs another penny. Maybe I'm reading that wrong. I did get a D in fucking finance in college. And my teacher was a football fan and loved me because I played up to him. And I still up to him. And I still got a D.

Couldn't help it. The Asian kid next to me is sick the whole year. There's a joke that's been done 450 times. I was stealing his intellectual property. I think this is such a great joke. How the fuck is this in place packed with three strippers? Male ones. Oh, this feels good.

I never had allergies until I moved down here to slave country. Must be the car. God damn. Oh, by the way, I scratched my eye the other night. Now I have a light show going on. Have you ever had that?

And when I blink, I see like lightning and shit. Dude, it came at the worst time for me. I was in Afghanistan. We were getting in firefights and I couldn't see out of one eye. Oh, you're kidding me. That's what it looks like. A tracer. Anyway, I think this is

what's his name talking? Elon. Free speech is the bedrock of a function of democracy and Twitter is the digital town square where matters vital to the future of humanity are debated, Musk said in a statement. He's goddamn right. It's freedom, baby, yeah. Former Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey took his time to take his hand off his pee-pee and get out

of his fucking chamber bed thing that he sleeps in,ed in on the deal late on Monday with a series of tweets that thank both Musk and current Twitter CEO Parag Agrawal. He's a growling all the time, the mother. Obviously, Indian fella. He's the CEO. Forgetting the company out of an impossible situation. Twitter as a company has always been my sole issue. This is Dorsey talking. And my biggest regret, it has been owned by Wall Street and the ad model. Taking it back from Wall Street is the correct first step, he said. See that? So all you people that are bellyaching, did you hear what their arguments are on the left? A billionaire, the richest guy, it's not, that's not good when the richest guy on the planet,

you know, owns a piece of, really? Like Zuckerberg and all the other fucking platforms? What are they, owned by? You know what I mean? Somebody come up with something funny. They're owned by whatever. It's not like the Green Bay Packers and the people have a chunk. Maybe it is. I don't know. Twitter shares rose 5.7% on Monday to finish at 51.70.

That's still below what he, remember he put 54. The deal represents near 40% premium to the closing price the day before Musk disclosed he had bought more than a 9% stake in it. I'm excited. Oh, boy, is this great? Now I can get back out there, hopefully, and say horrible things. I hope. How does that work? How do I get on shadowbanned? He just starts all over? I don't know.

Can I keep the 98,000 when I should be at 298,000? You fucking people. Anyways, I used to get drunk and Tommy would go, what are you doing? That's probably why he took it over. No, it is why he took it over. I used to argue, and then I read one of mine

when I sobered up. I went, oh, here. I said something about Dorsey. I said, I hope you get raped in the ass by the second string defensive backs of the fucking University of Michigan. All kinds of stupid shit. Anyways, nothing personal, Jack. Just fucking around. But I can't wait to, and the people are threatened on the left. Morning Joe. There's clips all over the place again if I was ambitious I would

have pulled some but they're shitting their pants how can you trust anybody who's not a free speech absolutist they're telling you right there they want to control you whatever and that starts with Obama that motherfucker worsening that ever have and not get Not to do with his race. Matter of fact, his race is the only good thing about his presidency. And he wasted that, too. Anyways, I'm going to come up with a show name for this. That's Morning Joe. I'll be fucking... Hey, people, right in. Here we go. You want to see a storm? people right in. Here we go. You want to see a storm?

Colin Quinn wanted me to call it Happy Hour with Nick the... Oh, but then we'd have to drink. Huh? Oh, Jesus. Well, that's how you would take it, yes. Dallas has been known. Him and his wife. I mean, girlfriend, I call them. But holy moly, can they put it away?

I go, he goes, you want me to bring anything? I'm like, yeah, bring your own four bottles of wine. I can't find. All right, next story. Louisiana won. Joe Biden, nothing. That's a final. Just in.

A Louisiana federal court issued a temporary restraining order Monday preventing the Biden administration from lifting pandemic restrictions at the southern border. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God forbid, right? They got us. They're mulling around whether we should be wearing masks on planes still, but by all means, come on in, third world people. No diseases over there. How fucking, do you see the way they're treating us? The restrictions known as Title 42 started when Jackie Robinson stole 30 bases on the, uh, that's the other thing. No offense to Jackie Robinson.

Super, but enough. Enough with everybody wearing 42. He didn't play for the Red Sox. I don't want them all wearing 42. Ba, ba, ba. Stop with the shit. If anybody should get the ink, it should be Branch Rickey who fucking had the balls to sign them. And Jackie, but let's stop, okay?

Restrictions known as Title 42 allows authorities to expel nearly all migrants from the border. This is what Trump put in place, right? In the interest of stopping the spread of COVID-19. The state of Missouri, Arizona, and Louisiana brought suit earlier this month in federal court to keep the restrictions in place. So let's get a dirty judge involved. Hear ye, hear ye, the court's in session, the court's in session now. Here come the judge,

here come the judge. Our office just obtained a temporary restraining order to keep Title 42 in place, Missouri Attorney General Eric Schmidt tweeted Monday. This is a huge victory for border security, but the fight continues on. Is that Schmitty? Look at him, huh? Looked like he might have played some ball, some pickleball. Isn't that the big thing now? Yeah. Is that what it's called? I think the rule is you have to be a certain age to play it. I'm kidding. Only old people play that. Fuck, then count me in. Hey, pickleball, I'll show you my pickle.

The Centers for Disease Control, that would be the CDC, I call it the Center for Domination and Control, announced April 1st that it had determined a suspension of the right to introduce migrants into the United States is no longer necessary and said the mandated restrictions would be lifted on May uh 23rd why are we still they're not an agent they they have no gravitas who the fuck are you are you writing a book who the fuck are you I Are you writing a book? Who the fuck are you? I'm the CDC.

At the time, the CDC said the order would remain in place for the next seven weeks to implement appropriate COVID-19 mitigation protocols, such as scaling up programs to provide COVID-19 vaccinations to migrants. Yeah, make sure they're all vaccines. Jesus Christ. Excuse me. Ian, prepare for resumption of regular migration. How about this? How about a moratorium on any migration? Legal, illegal, no more people. The party is packed. Okay, it's getting rowdy people are getting shot people are drunk enough already it's an experiment that's not working what i love i'm gonna say this but

nobody better steal this because this is fucking brilliant i'm waiting till somebody puts me on tv to say it but the irony of all this shit is the dems are letting all these third worlders pour over the borders right they're coming after the American dream. But they're going to wake up one 10 years from now and look around. It's going to look like the shithole they came from. But the politicians, the Dems don't give a fuck because they're still in power.

That's what they want. An underclass that they can feed off of. Meanwhile, it'll be as dangerous as El Salvador. So good luck with that. I should get my own show just because Jesse Waters my ass. Fox News reported Monday that the restraining order prevents any action

before a May 13th hearing schedule in the case. Neither the CDC nor the Biden administration have proposed lifting the restrictions earlier than May 23rd. Yeah, I mean, they're just going to take those away and they don't even, I might have missed it, did Biden administration speak out about the border guy that drowned trying to save

a couple cartel members in the river? Did they ever even comment on it? Meanwhile, what's her name? Kamala Harris is like in some country. She, oh my God. Oh my God. Haven't heard a peep out of her lately. It's been a while.

There's a reason for it. You would have thought it was Joe Biden they wanted to keep his mouth shut. She should have stayed silent. After she got elected. She is as dumb as a fucking pigeon turd on a windshield. I just made that up. Sounds like if I'm Oklahoma, you know. The decision to end Title 42 authority, named for a 1944 public health law, is being legally challenged by 22 states,

which I love, and faces growing division within Biden's Democratic Party. See, even the Dems are fighting over this. Do you understand? The Dems are arguing with each other over this. That's how they're coming apart. They are finished. They might be finished as a party, again, unless they steal the election, which people are already mumbling that they're doing illegal shit already. Rep, representative, and he's a Democrat. Henry Cuellar of Texas Board of Democrats said last week the Biden that Biden's hurting their party by ending Title 42. And listen to Mr. Cuellar again, a Democrat. This is not good for Democrats in November. for Democrats in November. You know, in talking to some of my Republican colleagues,

they're saying, we can't believe the White House is giving us this narrative. We cannot believe that they're hurting Democrat candidates for the November election. Yeah. And then he called Biden, and Biden said, what's the problem? What are we doing? What's going on right now?

I'll tell you what's going on right now. These guys like my fucking state looks like fucking Chihuahua, Mexico. Shut the fence. Shut the door. What a stooge. Don't you love it? Libs eating libs, folks. Libs eating libs.

I can't wait for November. i just i can't wait and if they don't control both chambers you guys republican you'll never ever control anything these guys are serving you the vote is a fastball down the middle again barring cheating. And the media, well, here's a good thing. Twitter will at least be opened up, right? They won't be doing things like they buried the Hunter laptop story right before the election. Shit like that will be hard to do, I'm hoping, with Mr. You-Know-Who Musk in place. Let's get on to my girlfriend. Big Red dodges hunter questions. It's always an attractive nickname for a woman.

It's like a big red. I just think of, you know, I think of, you're probably too young. Dave Casper, tight end for the Raiders in the 70s. One of the first guys that, tight ends used to block all the time. He was one of the first guys they started throwing to when he had all kinds of records big red anyways that's my girlfriend jen saki a pasaki white house press secretary jim saki dodged a question monday about the post that's a new york post reporting on hunter biden's business no maybe it's a washington Post, Associate Eric Schwerin's 19 visits to the White House complex while Joe Biden was the VP.

PBS reporter Lisa Desjardins, or if you're French, Desjardins. That's how they say it, Desjardins. There's been a bunch of hockey players that know that name. Desjardins. Asked at Psaki's regular briefing. So come on, a fucking... PBS, did I say?

Yeah. Imagine that, asking a tough question of big red. Guys, I can't explain it. I know she's hideous, but there's just something about her. Maybe I just want to bang the fucking left wing out of her. I like redheads, even with a face like fucking Herman Munster. Go ahead, let her roll. On Hunter Biden, the New York Post is reporting, looking at White House visitor logs, there were 19 visits to the White House while the president was vice president by Hunter Biden's business partner, including one with the vice president.

Do you almost understand why that business partner had access and what those meetings were about? I don't have any information on that. I'm happy to check and see if we have any more comments. I don't have any information on that. I'm happy to check and see if we have any more comments. I don't have any information. Well, you are the spokesman for the Biden administration. Yeah, but they keep me in the dark about shit like this. You get that little red beaver right up there in front of you. I don't think it's crazy at all. Really? You don't have any? I think they call that willful ignorance, Jen. Is that what they call it?

You're a liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, and you know it. Those visits during the Obama administration cast further doubt on Biden's claim that he was uninvolved with his son's business activities, which are under investigation by the United States Attorney's Office in Delaware. Not even, I'm not even bringing up Tony Bobulinski, who met him. Remember that guy? Moments earlier on the White House lawn, Biden was seen taking a dump. What? Continued walking with the dump on his leg

and did not verbally respond when a reporter for The Post asked him why he met with his son's business. So can you imagine? Doesn't answer. Trump would answer. Even if Trump was guilty, he'd stop. Oh, you're full of shit. You're a wormy cocksucker, you know that? He really is. Can't wait till he passes away in his sleep at the wheel. Schwerin's White House visits included a November 17th, 2010 meeting in the West Wing with Biden himself. This is one of Hunter's partners. There were eight other meetings between Schwerin and aides to Joe and Jill Biden.

Yeah, nothing to see here. From 2009 to 2013. Often a guest at the White House complex is merely recorded as visiting a specific person, when in fact they may speak with many others during the time at the executive complex, meaning Joe Biden may have met with Schwerin on more than one occasion. Here he is saying, where's the front door? Emails from Hunter Biden's laptop. Folks, do you realize if all this came out right before the last election,

and it's been proven, Democrats said they would have, 10% of them, their voters said they wouldn't have, not that I'm mad, I keep forgetting it was stolen. And it was. Emails for Hunter Biden's laptop indicate Schwerin, who was president of Hunter's firm, Rosemont Seneca Partners,

had access to Joe Biden's personal finances, including that he was involved in the elder Biden's taxes and discussed the vice president's financial future with him. Just think for a second, if Trump was half that dirty, they went over him with a fine two. Could they find anything? Went over his family members? Biden is dirtier than Trump will ever be.

And Trump's the businessman. That's what's funny about it. My God. So this guy was like Charles Schwab. Hunter's partner to fucking Joe. He's like his, manages his portfolio. Joe, you got too much shit in the Pacific Rim.

Get on Disney and they're on the toilet. Netflix. I want to sit on that one. That's my other happy. Boy, if you have the politics that we do, it's been a good couple weeks. Right? Fucking Disney taking it in the ass.

Netflix is going in the dumper. Elon Musk just bought Twitter. All kinds of shit. Now Pelosi can just develop a lump in her tip. There are white niggers. I haven't seen a lot of white niggers in my time. In our RTR segment for you new people that's reversed the races tonight, you're out is the headline.

According to WHLT, this is considered my light story today, by the way. According to WHLT, a Mississippi Youth League softball ump, she was a white woman. I'm going to tell the story the way it should be told. She was a nice white mother woman angel, way it should be told. She was a nice white mother woman angel. Got decked by a sorry excuse for a parent, a big fat black woman who should be playing linebacker for the Ravens. Of course, she resorts to violence as they do. Well, Nick, that's because of socioeconomic, whatever, most violent race on the planet end of fucking story don't want to put her up there now let's play the video first here we go christy moore says a mother did to her

face after umpiring a 12 year old softball game in laurel mississippi apparently the mother was using some pretty foul language during the game to the point where Moore asked her to leave. She told me she wasn't going anywhere with a bunch of cuss words in that. And so I told the coach that if she didn't leave, the game would be put down as a forfeit. And so he just kind of looked over there and told her to leave. And when she went to walk off, she told me that she was going to slap the ass out of me when she was leaving. The mother made good on that promise. Pause. Listen to this stupid bride doing this story.

The mother of my god on that bottle. What is she, shit-faced? Take it down a notch. Jesus, fuck. Is there anybody training anybody anymore? There's nobody training. Well, it's on my mind. I love UFC as much as anybody. I have to put it down. Daniel Cormier, and they all know this shit the other guy the English guy that never I have to turn it down when Rogan's not there

they fight the fight verbally every now he's got to you're exhausted I'm very conscientious I listen when people talk it's a horrible habit I have to shut the they don't and nobody's there to teach habit. I have to shut the fucking, they don't,

and nobody's there to teach them that you have to let the broadcast breathe. You don't have to fucking be verbalizing every move that's made. It's exhausting. God, Joe, are you listening to me? Tell them. Joe's fucking, and I'm saying because I know him,

he knows when to jump in and make a good point. And God, and I'm saying because I know him, he knows when to jump in and make a good point. And God, and I like Cormier too. And Bisbing is the other one. He's the one. It's like he does meth before he does this. And I understand they are experts at it, but you don't. Anyways, back to this black woman sucker punch my fucking old lady.

Waiting in the parking lot for Moore, her punching her and then running away but she wouldn't get away for long this is that mother kiera thomas booked into jail with the assault wearing a mother of the year shirt in her mugshot watermelon. Can you fucking imagine at a kid's game, waits for the fucking ump. The ignorance is, why are you living in Mississippi, white lady? What are you doing?

The umpire, who is a 10-year veteran of the youth league softball, called the entire thing ridiculous, and then she said this this has been very very hard anywhere I go of course at this point people know who I am and looking at my eye and the people that don't know and they ask you know what happened they applauded when I tell them what happened but the hardest part of it all was coming home that night and my children seeing me and they just burst into tears about it.

And that was really hard trying to talk to them, you know, about what happened. Mama. I don't see the big deal. My mother used to go to bed like that every night. She wouldn't listen. Folks, that's a joke. The old man only punched me in the face. He was a Marine. Never closed fists, but that backhand, that's knuckle too, by the way. So is the belt buckle. That fucking stung its head. Anyways, had it coming every time. When you almost burn the house down with an alias pizza because you're drunk, you deserve to be cracked in the head. Thomas was charged with simple assault as opposed to complicated assault,

because she has the IQ of a doorknob, so it's simple assault. She's simple. The punch was simple. May she die tonight in her sleep. And according to the Laurel Police Department, she has been banned from all rec league activities and facilities in Jones County. Why don't you spade her while you're at it, too? You fuck.

Her child's entire team was also removed from the USFA tournament, so the mom wearing a Mother of the Year shirt ruined it for the daughter and for the entire team. What in God's name? These blacks. Who knows where they're going to take the wrong way? What in God's name? These blacks. Who knows where they're going to take the wrong way?

Ha. Um, violence is never the answer. That's the stupidest thing anybody ever said. How do you think we got this country? From a slap fight? Were we noogie in the Indians? Let's be serious, folks. God, this shirt, I lift weights and now it's fitting me like a T-shirt.

I feel like Shannon Sharp. They wear their suits like they're T-shirts. That's not how a suit's supposed to fit. Can't even get that right, you dink. Speak of the aforementioned, Joey Rogan, he had comments. This happened a few days ago, but I forgot to touch on it. You guys must have seen the clip that went viral of the king fucking crazy guy on the plane actually you know harassing tyson let me tell you something tyson is mellowed out if this was 20 years ago he would have

he would have snapped that guy's neck within 30 seconds uh so tyson uh i mean uh joe rogan was commenting on it uh he had a message for the man who Mike Tyson punched on a plane Wednesday. Of course, Rogan said he had a comment, so no kidding. You are correct, sir. On Saturday's episode of the Joe Rogan Experience podcast and comedian, my buddy Dan Soda called out Melvin Townsend III. That's his name? It sounds black.

For instigating the violent incident on the flight and not, you know what was funny? I don't know if it's in the clip. There was some black guys watching him, the white kid, and filming him and laughing their balls off, going, this motherfucker crazy. That was the best part. And they were like, fucking egging him on. It was really, That was the best part. And they were like fucking egging him on. It was really. Anyways, and not expecting the former heavyweight champion to retaliate. Yeah, why would you expect that?

It's real simple. That dude was a douchebag. He was annoying one of the baddest motherfuckers that's ever walked the face of the earth, Rogan said. Talk about kicking a beehive, Dan Soto replied. What the fuck are you doing, dude? It's so dumb. It's not even kicking a beehive, Dan Soto replied. What the fuck are you doing, dude? It's so dumb. It's not even kicking a beehive. It's like smashing it or headbutting it, Rogan responded. Let's take a look.

This is fucking priceless, man. I don't, we really do live in the, I'm guessing that this shit happens, this kid just wanted to go viral or whatever, get his five minutes and spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair, staring it with his tongue, blinking his eyes. Watch this. This is George talking to Mike Tyson, bro.

This shit crazy, bro, Mike Tyson. That's the first clip, and Mike's trying to be nice. I think they had already talked a little bit. Mike's trying to be nice. He's just trying to read crime and punishment for the third time. He's going over the Forbes list and saying, how are you, motherfucker? Somebody get Don King on the phone.

Motherfucker stole my money. Anyways, so the kid continues. Go ahead. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, Mike, Mike, come on. Let's go stop that. This is the worst, man. Jet blue, mid-flight.

Boy just got beat up by Mike Tyson. I'm not crazy. I just don't give a fuck. He was making that face on purpose. He ain't sad inside. He is happy. And, you know, who was the guy? That must have been a guy that was with Tyson that jumped.

Jesus, I hope so. Kid, how'd you do? You're going to eat lightning and you're going to drop thunder. Look at his face. Look at his face. That is like, honestly, that's like a lion. You jump in the cage. You know how people jump into the fucking lion's thing at the zoo sometimes and poking it with a stick?

Are you fucking out of your mind? And, of course, Tyson and those are legal weapons. I'm guessing once you're a pro boxer, right, that law sticks with you throughout your life. Those are weapons that you can't use. Unless somebody's doing that. If I was a judge, I'd be like, you should have crippled the motherfucker. Look at his face. Tyson's an asshole. On a JetBlue flight from San Francisco to Miami Townssend, a fan of Tyson's, reportedly harassed Tyson, would not leave the box, turned cannabis entrepreneur alone. That's probably what saved him, right?

Tyson was probably high as a kite, didn't want to move. According to Tyson's representatives, the incident escalated when Townsend threw a water bottle at Tyson, leading I.M.I.C.E. to repeatedly punch Townsend in the head. Townsend denies throwing anything at Tyson. Rogan added that fans need to learn that celebrities are people as well and often do not want to be stopped on the street. Yeah, leave me alone when I'm at fucking One Potato 2

or the Pottery Barn. Look at Tyson. Yeah, I'd fuck with him on the plane. Imagine? I'd be sitting in seat 14C. He'd come up. He goes, you ain't getting in there. Fuck off.

Take your bags elsewhere. Ping, ping, ping. If you find yourself where Mike Tyson's reaching over the back of an airline seat and punching you in the face, I think you probably earned it, said Rogan, who recently appeared on Tyson's Hot Boxing podcast. I like Tyson. You know, when you read about how he fucking grew up, it's an amazing story. Remember, he did a one-man show a few years ago in Vegas?

And he was a real historian. I really did think he'd get framed in that rape thing. But anyways, I'll talk to him about it when he comes to my house on Saturday. We're playing Trivial Pursuit. trivial pursuit. This guy played Skipper on Gilligan's Island. Is this the final story? All righty. I saved the best for last. Ah, boy. Ah, boy.

Donald Trump threatens Putin. Former President Donald Trump lashed out against Russian President Vladimir Putin, who's very bloated, by the way. This is an old picture of him, but you see some clips online. He's on medication, and he's holding the table when he's talking to somebody while he's sitting down. That hand's probably doing this. Probably going to hit that button by accident.

Trump lashed out against Russian President Vladimir Putin for repeatedly using the nuclear word, claiming that if he was still president, he would try and stop the strongman from ever saying it again. Hey, I thought you were for free speech. Don't start, Donald. Putin uses the N-word. That's how they got me to read the article.

That's what it said in the headline. I thought, why would Putin be... There's only two black guys there. That was my first thought, you know. There are white niggers. No! I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time. Who uses that word?

I don't like that word. We're talking about nuclear. I call it the N-word. This is Trump talking. He uses the N-word. This is Trump talking. He uses the N-word. It's a little ditty I wrote on the way home from Florida. The nuclear word all the time. Trump says that's a no-no.

Whoops. That's a no-no. You're not supposed to do that. Why does he talk like he's in fifth grade sometimes? Trump railed during an interview on Piers Morgan Uncensored that he had on Monday. Yeah, he can't do that. He uses it on a daily basis, Trump says, and everybody's so afraid. So afraid. They're so afraid. And as they're afraid, he uses it more and more. That's why he's doing the kinds of things he's doing right now. And I mean, they were awful, awful things. I mean, the worst things. Awful, awful things.

I never, maybe the worst things everybody's ever done. Asked by Morgan what he would tell Putin if he was still commander in chief, Trump replied, I would say, we have far more than you do. What is this? Here's where it's hard to defend Trump. It's like a fourth grade, they're fighting over crayons. We have four. Do you realize, Mr. Trump, it's only going to take a couple to, like, blow the world to smithereens?

The extra 5,000 aren't really. We have more than you do. You know what that means. We're richer than you. You know, that's that mentality. I can do anything better than you. No, you can't. Yes, I can.

Kiss my ass. Anything. Anyways, you can't say that word ever again. That's what you'd tell Putin. you can't say that word ever again. That's what you'd tell Putin. You can't say that word. There's Putin's response. I'll come over there and bitch slap you. You cannot use the nuclear word ever again.

If you do, we're going to have problems. I'll put my son over there. I'll put him on a train, next train to Moscow. Trump also said he warned Putin in very strong language not to invade Ukraine. Well, that worked out well. You scared the shit out of him and threatened a U.S. response if Russia did. Let's take a look at my friend Donald Trump. We're going to be very strongly responding if you do that. I also said to President Xi, don't go into Taiwan,

and there's going to be a very strong response. They both understood that. They both had the same reaction. Really? Really? I said, really. I want to know what the word for really is in Chinese. Really? Can you see either one responding like that? You think Putin went, really? I love this picture of Trump. I told Dallas, it looks like Joe Pesci on the cover of I don't know if it's Goodfellas or Casino

on the box of the Moby Box CD, whatever you call it. Anyhow, it looks like he's got Pesci in his face there. During the sit-down, Trump blamed Russia's brutal invasion of Ukraine on the rigged election, suggesting that if he were president now, the war wouldn't be happening. Isn't it a shame all those people are dead all because of a rigged election, he said.

You are correct, sir. Absolutely right. I know you people out there. The big lie. The big lie is that Biden got any votes. That is it. So be happy. It's been a good week for us politically.

You know, I just hope Musk can do something and open this thing up. Maybe Zuckerberg, you might want to think about him. And the jerk-off that owns Google. Visit his house. What's his name? Brocon de Dido? Yes. Oh, I don't like that. Two Jews walking to my bar. Oh, I don't like that. Two Jews walking to my body. Two Jews are on the Titanic as it was sinking. One of them is crying.

The Jew says to the other Jew, why are you crying? It's not your boat. Colin Quinn told me that's a real old joke. God, was that fucking funny. What's the other one he told me that's a real old joke. God, was that fucking funny. What's the other one he told me that was so fucking brilliant? I don't know.

Anyways, that's it. I don't want to get kicked off the internet, you know? Just when Elon Musk is going to welcome me back. Don't forget to sign up at thecomicsgym.com. That's thecomicsgym, G-Y-M, folks. And don't forget patreon.com. Sign up monthly, please. Keep the show alive.

Keep me employed. And nicktip.com. If you want to buy merchandise, click on the store and check out the tour button. I'll be at Governor's May 6th, I believe, Friday, May 6th. Governor's in Levittown, Long Island. Next night, I think I'm at the Paramount Theater in Peekskill, New York. Is that right?

I think that's right. Anyways, and don't forget Cameo.com. If you want me to roast a friend or a relative, go to Cameo.com. I'll make a little video on my phone we send it to him and he cries because it hurts that's it you guys thank god i'll say it you're very welcome we'll see you back here at the same time tomorrow take care kids guitar solo Outro Music