The Nick DiPaolo Show - Musk a Must at Twitter | Nick Di Paolo Show #688

Episode Date: April 6, 2022

More black violence - Basketball. Biden put in the corner. Musk at Twitter. Zelenski smacks UN. More black violence - Tennis. Operation April Fools.

🎵 Oh yeah, oh yeah. How are you folks? Wednesday. It's Wednesday. Savannah, Georgia. Wednesday. It's Wednesday. Savannah, Georgia. I told you, Trump. I told you Biden's a fucking idiot. He's a fucking idiot. He's a fucking idiot. Hey, before I forget, tomorrow we'll be running a repeat because I have to get on a plane. And I originally booked a flight where I could do the show, run to the airport, but the club owners, as they are, always get nervous

and say, it's going to get you here. I've got to take a car. Listen to this. I'm done with this shit, by the way. Enjoy me at Mohegan Sun, okay? Time to retire. I've got to fly. I was going to fly from Savannah to Boston,

get a car service to take me to Mohegan Sun, which is another two hours. Okay? That got me there at like, I don't know, quarter of eight or 7.30, and they're still shitting their pants. I've only been doing it 35 years. I've never missed a gig or been late,

except for Long Island. It was a car accident. But, you know, treat me like a child. Anyways, so anyways, I change it now. So I got to fly out earlier to LaGuardia, direct flight. They wanted me to connect flights. I go, don't you understand I've been doing this forever? The more planes that you are involved,

the better chance you have of one of them being delayed. I think we all can agree on that. So now I've got to fly to LaGuardia and get a car service from there for like, I don't know, it's like two and a half hours. Till my Higgins said, you can't fucking win. But anyways, once I'm there, I'll be fine. But I just, I'm tired.

I knew I should have studied welding. I was very good. But my mother said, don't hide that beautiful face with that mask. I said, shut the fuck up. I said to her, who gives a fuck what you think? And then we had Thanksgiving. It was terrific. The other thing, real quick, Sean Hannity had, I don't know if you guys saw it, Sean Penn on.

Now, I think I'm going to shock you guys again when I tell you I like Sean Penn. Of course, I hate his politics. I think he's a left-wing nutcase. But he's a guy who puts his money where his mouth is. He'll go to Nicaragua. He'll meet whatever the fuck. He happened to be doing a documentary on the people of Ukraine. Ann Zelensky, he wanted to know what he was more about before all this shit started, months before. He happened to be there two days. He was there for like, I don't know,

a week, and then the war started, whatever. He was still filming the documentary when the shit kicked in. So he stayed. And Hannity had him on, if you guys know anything. Those are arch enemies as far as political ideology. But it was very interesting. And here's why I like Sean Penn. He's flying off. He must have been up. I can tell he's been up for three days. I'm not exaggerating. His voice was all shaky. His eyes, he looked exhausted, three days. I'm not exaggerating. His voice was all shaky. His eye, he looked exhausted, his hair's all sticking up. He's a really intense guy.

I like anybody who punches a paparazzi in the face when they don't, you know, respect whoever they're shooting. But yeah, is he a left-wing nutcase? Absolutely. But they could agree on this, that Putin's fucking nuts. Now, if I was handed, I would have said,

that's what you nuts. Now, if I was Hannity, I would have said, that's what you want. Sean, your side wants that. That's what you guys have been shooting for for that 50 years. That's socialism slash communism slash Marxism. That's where I would have started. But they disagreed right at the front. No politics, let's talk about Ukraine, the documentary. You know, and they had a nice back and forth, and Hannity goes right at the front. No politics. Let's talk about Ukraine, the documentary. You know, and they had a nice back and forth.

And Hannity goes right at the beginning, tell my viewers what you said when I called you and asked you to be on the show. Sean goes, like kind of a sheepish voice, I said I didn't trust you. Which, you know, that's so true. And anyways, I don't know if you guys caught it. It made for a great TV. And again, there's something I like about him. I mean, I love him as an actor. But yeah, I fucking hate his politics.

And I think if he grew up on the East Coast, he'd be a totally different guy. You know what I mean? He grew up right smack dab in the middle of that fucking garbage. And New Age psychology. California led the way with all this PC horse shit like they always do. Anyhow, if you can catch it on the internet replay, it's pretty fucking good. I think that's all I had to say. Right before we were going on here, you know, I like to go through this,

you know, okay, something happened on me driving to the studio. Maybe a missile hit New York. I don't know. I always check before we go on. And I can't help it. And I can't play. They tell me, my management and everybody,

you know, you can't show like any violence now. I guess that, I mean, that mostly pertains to YouTube. I guess. I have other platforms I'm on, so I don't know why, but anyways. I just try to keep a lot of it out because I know it's not going to see the light of day.

I think Facebook takes it down and shit. You know? So, but anyways, I couldn't resist one. Resist this. Yesterday I showed you black kids, was that today, tennis? That's today. I showed you a couple days ago track, excuse me, track meet where white kids run and a black kid sucker punches them who wasn't even in the race.

So now they've brought violence into track. Today I got a story about two black kids playing tennis and another one slaps the other one across the face. I don't know if he's copycatting Will Smith, but it was look legit. Anyways, so yeah, I got the clip today of a two black guy

tennis player getting in a fight. And right before we go on the air, I'm looking at some stories and I couldn't resist it. I'm sorry. Flagrant fouls is what I call this story. A referee, by the way, a black referee, older guy, not too old, still in shape, you know, needed 30 stitches. I wonder who's going to be involved with this.

After being brutally attacked by a bunch of eighth graders at a youth basketball game in Georgia, according to TMZ, the mayhem was captured on video Sunday at the, get this, love of the game event at the Stronghold Christian Church. Like I say, everything they touch turns to shit. I don't give a fuck. Put it all over the Internet. I'll say it. I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of pretending. Okay. They're different. We're as different as our skin color. Take that to the, I can't pretend anymore. Not that I have been. You all say it at home. Fuck it.

I'm fucking tired of it. Jesus. TMZ reported that multiple players from one team and spectators at the game appeared to chase the referee before pitting him to the floor, punching him, and kicking him in the face. Kenneth Tarver, the founder of KB Sports, which helped host the youth tournament in Lithonia, about 30 minutes from Atlanta, said he doesn't, I thought Lithonia was a Eastern Bloc country, said he doesn't know what caused the incident. You don't?

Let me tell you. This is going to help you out. You had more than four black kids in a room at once. That's what caused it. Let that settle in. let that settle in. Yes, and I know this was caused because 400 years ago, they were dragged over here

against their will, blah, blah, bleep, blah, blah. So fucking tight. Even black people agree with me. So you white libs who love to call people racist, you know what? It doesn't mean shit anymore. There's black people who have had enough of this shit. I'm not just talking about this

fucking incident. I'm talking about every day I look at a clip from New York City and I can't put it, it's so fucking violent. Old lady getting stomped, pushed down the stairs, guy gets sucker punched in an ATM. I mean, this is every day. It's not even fucking news. So how long do we have to pretend? And again, it's not about race. It's about culture. One culture is really fucked up. If you want to blame the Democrat Party and white libs, you can,

because they fucked it up. You know what I mean? You'd think every black person that votes Democrat goes, look at what the fuck. Anyways, we're going to show the clip. Watch the ref. Right away, he knows. When these kids walk on the court, some of them are on the team. Some of them are people from the stands, I guess. But watch how you can tell he grew up in the hood. The minute they approach him, he starts walking backwards. But I want you to watch the first two kids that try to throw a punch at him. He decks the first two with his hands.

You can tell the guy. But just watch this. It makes me sick to my stomach. And here they come from the right. Look, in a pack, as usual. Look, older black guy. It's a Christian event. Watch what he does to the kid in white first.

Watch, right here. Bang! Boom! Two down, 11 to go. And here comes the rats, here comes the predator, the super predators, as Hillary once said. Kicking them in the face. That's good. That's a fuckenuff. There's something wrong with the black man's mind. There's something wrong with his mind.

Oh, don't say that, black man. What's funny is, too, the kid who filmed that tweeted it. And this is what he puts on the tweet. I can tell this kid goes to Harvard. Y'all, these bad kids got off on a referee. Why the other refs ain't help, though? Hey, it's Obama's America. It's the Dems' America.

It's Biden's America. There's your Democrat voters. Ooh, if Obama had a son. Fucking sick of it. Sick of it. And you're a racist if you say what I say. I don't give a fuck. Go out to the comedy clubs.

Always make a living. Not that I want to do that anymore, you know. I'll learn to weld again. But there you go. I mean, how much do we have to pretend that, you know, we're... And again, it's culture. Not skin color, it's culture. And you know what you didn't see there? A bunch of parents running onto the court going, stop this, stop this!

Why were there no parents there? Hmm. Hmm. No parents. Think that has anything to do with it? Might have been three. Tarver said he spoke with the referee after the scuffle and that the official is expected to make a full recovery. Imagine having to say that after an eighth-grade basketball game.

He added that the team involved in the incident, by the way, this was DeKalb, Georgia, DeKalb County, has been banned from future events, which will include increased security. They've been banned from... Imagine being banned from a Catholic basketball league. Is it because we're black? I don't know.

It's the culture. The referee appears outnumbered from the very start. Paris Cherry, a detective, a former pro basketball player who is now a youth basketball development coach. And that's who I feel bad. These guys are trying to do something good. Give these kids, you know, a productive, everything they touch.

Now a youth basketball development coach told the local TV station, I was appalled. It was a very scary video. To see the adults instigate, I don't know where that came from, and then kids follow up to the point where it was the kids who chased down the referee at the end instigate. I don't know where that came from. And then kids follow up to the point where it was the kids who chased down the referee at the end of the video. It's just disgusting.

Would you have been all right if it was the parents chasing them? And it seems like there wasn't any adult trying to break it. Yeah. It's like there were no parents there. Isn't that funny? According to TMZ,

why is TMZ covering it? Does Paris Hilton have season tickets? According to TMZ the incident is still under investigation by the DeKalb County Police Department which responded to the scene in reference to an assault. Well, of course!

Ugh. I had to show it. It won't be on YouTube, but maybe we can blur it out because you wouldn't want that to get out on YouTube, still the most popular thing, because you wouldn't want the world to know the truth, would you? But if that was a white basketball, let's say a white Christian basketball game, you think it would have made YouTube? Maybe not, but it would have made TV. Your sister's filthy fucking ass. Good night, everybody. Okay, let's move on. This story, it broke my heart and also made me very happy at the same time.

The headline, come on, man, talk to me. This was great. Former President Obama, Marxist who started the downfall of his country, stole the show on Tuesday when he returned to the evening at the Apollo and did a return to the White House for the first time in more than five years for an event commemorating the 12th anniversary of the Affordable Care Act. Really? Who gives a fuck what you think? Exactly, Kenny. The event, which featured remarks from Obama, President Biden, and Vice President Kamala, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing up in here, Harris, featured a number of prominent Democrats,

including House Speaker, leather-nippled Nancy Pelosi, douchebag Democrat California, who made their way over to Obama for laughter and conversation as Biden looked on, seemingly unsure of what to do next. Which, let me tell you something. First, I went, oh, that is kind of sad. And I'd say about a nanosecond later, I went, fuck him.

He's calling, he could have said I'm too old for this shit. He took the job. He's calling me and you, white people, we're domestic terrorists, treats parents of school children like shit, crimes through the fucking roof, blaming inflation

on Poot, lying to our face. He's been a total disaster. So fuck him. I don't care if he's... He deserves to be ignored. And that's what this is. That's like being seen with Charlie Manson at a buffet and whatever. Shitty reference. But anyways. But look

at this poor prick. Watch this clip. But anyways. But look at this poor prick. Watch this clip. Watch this. Let's help everybody go. Hello. What's going on right now? What are we doing? What's going on right now?

Hello? Hello? Oh, the poor prick. Oh, it gets worse. It gets worse. Then he tries to pal up with Obama, who never really, the word is on the street, man. K Street in D.C.

They never, you know, Obama never liked this old dopey. He was a perfect vessel. You know, it made Obama look a little more moderate by putting this old career politician on the ticket. But they, you know, even Obama knew this guy was a real dope. But watch Obama. This is the one that got me. He fucking, Biden, it's like an old girlfriend. I've had this dream where I ran into an old girlfriend at a party and she's ignoring you and you, watch, he puts his hand on Obama and Obama is just, watch this. It's beautiful. Look at him. Look at the hurt in his face.

Come. Look, look at him. He's going to cry. Put your hand on his shoulder. That'll help. Look. Look at the hurt in his face. What are we doing?

Oh, the poor bastard. He looked like a little kid lost to TJ Maxx. Oh, my God. What a cruel... And that shows you, DC, what it's all about. It reminds me of the Montreal Comedy Festival back in the heyday. You'd do that festival. It would be a room full of comedians and industry mingling. And whoever you were talking to would be looking over your shoulder to see if there was anybody more important to talk to.

It was fucking hilarious. Everybody knew it, too. It was priceless. But that poor bastard. I think that really showed their relationship. How about the hurt in his eye? Like he was his frigging life partner. While Democrats recognized Biden's presence at the event,

they really shouldn't have gave him a handjob. Most of them, like Pelosi, were fully engaged with what Obama had to say. She even, there were signs of moisture. Not down there on her lips. were fully engaged with what Obama had to say. She even, there were signs of moisture, not down there on her lips. Pelosi was seen hugging Obama and holding his hands as she pushed her white wrinkled fun bags against his strong black chest. She spoke with him.

Please give me a call. Very nice. A few other Democrats who were enthusiastically standing by for a chance to speak with Obama were sent to Amy Klobuchar, remember her? Angie Craig, Democrat Minnesota, and Rep. Jim Clyburn,

who we can blame for putting this jerk up in office. They were all ignoring him. You see the hurt in his eyes? Did you see the pain in his face? Nick, but don't you feel? But no, I changed my mind. Fuck him.

Fuck him. And boy, you're going to see what happens in the midterm. I can't wait. 70 seats? How about 170? Let's move on to a very, how about this guy, the richest guy literally in the world? Can you imagine you're richer than oil tycoons and fucking Musk? Leon, Musk a must for free speech at Twitter. As you guys may or may not know,

Christian satire site Babylon Bee, Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk, these are all right-wing things, and Fox News, Tucker Carlson, are all still locked out of their Twitter accounts for posting, get this, that Transgender Department of Health and Human Services Assistant Secretary Rachel Levine is biologically a male.

And that's why Twitter locked them out. Put up the picture of the lovely lady. And there she is. Here she is. Miss America. Look at that. This is where we are in 2022. Fuck you liberals and anybody backs this shit.

She's mentally ill. You can't handle the truth. Exactly right. It's a guy in a wig. I'm trying not to laugh. I mean, he would fit in like in prison with Richard Speck. The Babylon Bee, Kirk and Carlson, remained defiant after getting suspended

from their Twitter accounts, refusing to delete the tweets that got them locked out. They'll let you back in if you delete the tweet. Who the fuck locked out of their accounts in protest of the social media platform censorship of true statements deemed offensive by the social media platform censorship of true statements deemed offensive by the irascible members of society. We aren't banned, but we are suspended until we delete the tweet.

We won't do that, Kirk told Breitbart News on Tuesday. I won't deny the truth just to be on Twitter. I love it. Fuck you and fuck you. Who's next? Exactly. Carlson's up. On March 20th, the Babylon Bee was locked out of its Twitter account and told that it would have to delete one of its tweets in order to successfully log back into the account. The satire site's offending tweet featured an article mocking USA Today for recently declaring Levine woman of the year. I suck cock and I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy. Woman of the year. Leah Thomas's swimmer

of the year. What a country, huh? The Babylon Bee's man of the year is Rachel Levine. Babylon Bee satire headline read. Around that time, Kirk was also suspended from Twitter for commenting on USA Today's choice of a biological male for woman of the year. The TP, Turning Point USA, found that his tweet simply read, Richard Levine spent 54 years of his life as a man. He had a wife and a family. He transitioned to being a woman in 2011. Joe Biden appointed Levine to be a four-star admiral,

and now USA Today has named Rachel Levine as Woman of the Year. Where are the feminists, he asks. Good question. Do you understand it hurts when, oh boy. Like I said, it went full circle, the women's movement, now you're eating each other. Not literally, that would be terrific. We would put that all over the news.

As for Carlson, the Fox News host was locked out of his Twitter account for simply posting screenshots of the tweets by Babylon B and Kirk and stating both these tweets are true. At what point, folks, and there's people who agree with this, at what point don't 80% of you get off Twitter? I just assume anybody who's still on there, I'm on it to plug. I put my dates up.

You don't see me. Oh, wait a minute. Do I call? I can't remember. I sent shit to Tommy. It has to be approved. Anyhow. No, I got off there when they booted Trump. Anyways, on Monday, Elon Musk, this is very important, kind of good news.

We'll see what he does, though. Elon Musk disclosed that he has acquired 9.2% of Twitter, which makes him the largest shareholder in the company. It puts him on the board of directors at Twitter. Now, this guy's a free speech advocate, or pretends to be. But while Musk himself has expressed concern that Twitter has been undermining democracy by failing to live up to its founding ideals of free speech, Carlson Kirk and the Babylon Bee still remain suspended from Twitter for sharing innocuous content deemed hateful.

That's what makes me mental, and people buy into it. And the left actually believes it. If you say something they disagree with, it's hate. Those are the type of tricks, this Marxist horseshit, that's been winning for years. Horseshit. That's been winning for years. But Elon Musk, richest guy in the world, now the largest shareholder. I think he's sincere when he said this a few weeks ago. Like, wokeness basically wants to make comedy illegal, which is not cool.

At its heart, wokeness is divisive, exclusionary, and hateful. It basically gives mean people a shield to be mean and cruel. Armored in false virtue. Armored in false virtue. Like a poet. You are correct, sir. But he's exactly right, isn't he?

So let's hope. He already took a poll on his. He's got 80 million followers. 80 million followers. Can you imagine? And yet, I wonder what he makes for ad money. Like on Facebook and shit. Not that he needs it.

I mean, you can't even count his money. But 80 million. Anyways 80-many. Anyways, that's Twitter. Elon Musk on wokeness and how it's killing humor. And that's exactly right. It gives mean people a shield to be fucking mean. And what's scary is it's not just people now. It's companies.

And it's a small group on Twitter that sway these companies into being woke and so let's hope Zelensky puts his money where his mouth is he was already taking a survey excuse me what did I just say?

yeah Zelensky I'm looking at the next headline please mute that out. I don't want any more people leaving the show. No, I'm going to take it all out. Thank you. All right. I promise. Zelensky, I'm sorry.

I called, I meant Musk. I said Zelensky. Elon Musk, he did a, like a survey on his Twitter thing thing asking if they want an edit button on... What does that mean exactly? What would you be editing? Like if somebody said something mean about you? I don't get it. No, you'd be editing your own tweet.

If you had a typo or messed something up, you can go back and edit it. But the controversy apparently is that now people that have controversial things can go back and edit it, so that way there's no evidence that they said something that they were accused of. I hope you get better ideas, Elon. Jesus Christ. Giving people a way to hide their shit? Anyways, let's move on before I dump. I don't even know what that

meant. I'm just losing my shit. I feel stupid in a white shirt. What am I, the manager at fucking... Excuse me, Tyrone, get your dick out of the shake machine. Zelensky bitch-slaps the United Nations. It's about time.

The most useless organization ever formed. Ukrainian president, I always thought it was more symbolic anyways, Volodymyr Zelensky accused Russian troops of indiscriminately killing civilians just for their own pleasure in an emotional charged address Tuesday to the United Nations Security Council, during which he questioned the very mandate of the Security Council itself and I question anybody who doesn't question it how about that you fucking people what he said in Russian you have no idea how to defend

a nation my rides here I'm a rebel Here's what to know about his UN speech. It came a day after he visited the Kiev suburb of Bucha with shocking images of bodies in the streets we talked about yesterday, emerged over the weekend, bodies I'm not supposed to show, I guess. Zelensky said Russia's actions were no different from those of a terror group, except that Russia is a permanent member of the Security Council at the UN. So was Iran a few years ago. I want you to think about that.

Think about that. They were on the Human Rights Board, Iran. You know the city that throws fags off buildings? What exactly leads you to believe the Soviets were involved? Can you imagine if we did that in San Francisco? It would be literally raining men. It's raining men. Hallelujah.

It's only the best joke ever I just came up with. You know why it's even funny? It's funny on a bunch of levels. Raining men is like one of the ideal songs gay people love. It's their anthem. Anyways, right off the top of my tits, I might have said that on stage one night. Russia has vetoed power at the UN and has previously used that to block a resolution condemning its invasion of Ukraine.

No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. Yeah, it is. The Ukrainian leader criticized the body, asking representatives point blank, where is the security that the Security Council

needs to guarantee? It's not there, though there is a Security Council. Zelensky told the UN it should do one of two things. One was to remove Russia as an aggressor and a source of war so it can't block decisions about its own aggression, its own war. How fucking, how fucked

up a world do we live in? The second, and I love this, the best part, he said, if there is no alternative and no option, then the next option would be dissolve yourself altogether, meaning the UN. Who the, I love it. If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? They can't handle facts. They can't handle the truth. Who's going to do it?

You, Lieutenant Weinberg? You want me on that wall. You need me on that wall. It is obvious that the key institution of the world, we're talking about low cineplex theaters, designed to combat aggression and ensure peace cannot work effectively, Zelensky said. And so did Trump. Trump pissed all over it, too. In his damning speech, Zelensky said, you know what? This is about the United States. And again, the Bilderberg, whoever you want to believe, years ago, they put that up there in hopes that we could all live as one and that'll be, you know. In his damning speech, Zelensky said there was not a single crime that the Russians would not commit,

alleging Russian troops had searched for and purposely killed anyone who served our country. Zelensky also warned that the horrors found in Bucha would be replicated in other cities across Ukraine and cities here like Baltimore, Detroit. No. And demanded accountability. The president also demanded full and transparent investigations and security guarantees for Ukraine. He's at the end of his rope and I can't blame him. I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take

this anymore. Russia on the security council. Are you telling me they don't get booted the minute this shit goes down? You don't go, that's it, they're out of everything. Anything that's supposed to be part of our civilization, get

them out. Then I saw some former military guy, forget his name, on Fox last night, and they were talking about Putin's state of mind. He said, I don't think he's crazy. He said, I don't think he's crazy. He goes, I don't think he's to the point where he'll...

He goes, he has to weigh these options. He could talk about making World War III, making it worse, which will... Eventually, he'll end up dead. Or he could get on his half-a-billion-dollar yacht and live the rest of his life out, you know. Which is kind of true.

I personally, I keep fighting. I'm a tiger. Okay, folks, next headline, serving no love. Hey, that's clever. A brawl broke out. Of course it did after a tennis match. What color were the players? I'm wondering. A brawl broke out after a tennis match in Ghana. Ghana on Monday when a 15-year-old player slapped his opponent after losing a match in the first round of an ITF juniors tournament. Of course he did. It's in their blood. It's their nature. They're violent, Nick Starr. I can't. I can't fucking pretend anymore. My eyes see I can't. I can't fucking pretend anymore. My eyes see it every day. I can't fucking pretend. Neither have you.

Can you? Video footage shows French tennis player Michael Okwami meeting God is Rafael Ni, Ankara, at center court where he appeared to reach out for a handshake but slapped Ankra in the face instead. Now, I have a couple theories on this. I think this could be a copycat. They see the Will Smith thing go viral and go multi-platinum, whatever the fuck.

And this kid's like, I want to get some of that action. I don't think he was faking it. This is something a jerk would do. But I'm saying, he's like, yeah, I'm an asshole. You know, even if somebody films it, I'm a whatever. There has to be a little connection there. He could have punched him.

No, but it was a slap like the Oscars. And then he said, keep your racket out my mouth. Take a look. More black violence yay oh my god. You believe that shit? We need partners. We need brothers and we need friends. Although it is unclear what led Kwame to slap his opponent, again, I'll clear it up for you.

There were two black people within 10 feet of each other. The move sparked an all-out brawl, according to videos posted on social media. Here's some more. It got a little it's like three seconds but it got it spelled out a little bit of course everything they touch is it because we're black no no it's cultural and black culture is a fucking mess right now. And like I said, you can blame the white libs. I said that on stage in Dallas.

I go, black people, I don't know, there might have been five there. And I said, you know, when you call white people, I said, you're half right. But you're blaming the wrong fucking half. Ankara beat Kwame, who was the number, I just put this in the story like anybody would give a fuck. Because I just wanted to kill time. like anybody would give a fuck because I just went on a kill time. Like Dallas had money on Kiwami. Ankra beat Kiwami, who was the number one seed heading into the tournament, in three

sets. 6-2, 6-7, 7-6, and a bitch slap to advance to the second round where he will face Ishmael Knee, naughty. Duana. When's the name end? That's another Knee. That must be like Smith. Also of Ghana.

Or it's a title. Ankra will return to the court on Tuesday for a doubles match against Italy's David Brunetti and France's Michael Kalok. And I hope you guys I'm sure you're glad I updated you on tennis. My Boston Bruins laid an egg last night. Fucking up

2-0 against the Detroit Red Wings who have fucking lost six in a row and gave up four straight goals. Although they did play back-to-back games, which they don't usually do in hockey. And I can see where that, that's a lot of legwork, man. And it looked like they got tired.

Anyways, they're going to be in the playoffs. They have the second-best record in hockey since January 1st. I'm sure you care about that as much as the Ghana finals. Only thing that clip didn't feature was the fucking, the Williams sisters and their dad getting in the mix. Finally tonight on Meet My Nipples, to catch a kid fucker, my favorite show. Hey guys, can I just say, I stumbled over, I don't know why,

I stumbled over some roasts. Was that on my site? Where did I find the arty roast? Anyways, Google the Artie roast. If you want to see the meanest roast I ever did, the best jokes I ever did, the roast of Artie Lang. And then I stumbled on, when I roast Foxworthy, the blue-collar Larry the Cable Guy, Pam Anderson.

Watch those. See me in my glory. And then you might want to order a cameo, but I'm not going to do it like that. I shouldn't say it's false advertising. And Giraldo. I watched all of Giraldo's, too. And I was fucking, was I cackling yesterday? You were trying to get work? Then I was shitting my pants.

It is the meanest fucking shit I ever said. Here's the best joke I ever wrote, folks. This show is going to go down in infamy. I'll be arrested when I leave the building today. But I said Howard Stern. I was making all these mean jokes. I said, Howard can take it. He's from a long line of thick-skinned Jews.

If you don't believe me, check out the lampshade factory in Stuttgart. Even Howard was like, what the fuck? He loved it. Loved it. Let's do a final story. Except for you people who subscribe monthly, you get another one after.

Kid fucker. Catch a kid fucker. The Marion County Sheriff's Office. I don't know what state. I looked up Marion County. Could have been Ohio. Could have been Indiana or 19 other states. I don't care. The Marion County Sheriff's Office has I don't know what state. I looked up Marion County. Could have been Ohio. Could have been Indiana or 19 other states. I don't care.

The Marion County Sheriff's Office has busted nearly two dozen men seeking sex with kids during Operation April Fools, they called it. Boy, they're rubbing their nose in it. Hey, little boy. Do you want some candy? Yeah, what do you got, Zagnuts? I love a Snickers. Hey, little boy. Got a marathon bar?

Stick that in my ass? Candy. Here's a good joke. Did I ever tell you Roger Rittenhouse, the guy with the hook on his hand? I think I met him. He's a comedian who has a hook on his hand. He was doing the nasty show in Montreal. He had the funniest shit.

But he comes out in his first line, he's petting Zoo my ass. That's his first joke. But then he had the fucking darkest, funniest, meanest. He goes, yeah, I had anal sex with my girlfriend. I pulled my dick out, it looked like a payday bar. And then he got into his gross material. Anyhow, any he.

Jesus, that made me laugh till I shit. He had 10, equally as funny. Anyways, April Fool's, they're going to catch some pedophiles. Marion County deputies with assistance from local, state, and federal law enforcement agencies conducted an undercover operation that resulted in the arrest of 22 men who thought they were meeting underage children. Don't you move, you motherfucker. I'll blow your brains out.

By the way, the most played bit I have on the radio, I get residuals, you know, once a month and they break down how many, what bits were played and how many times. My To Catch a Predator is fucking through the roof as far as all my bits. I really nailed that one. It was on one of my specials. I can't remember which one. Law enforcement officers exchanged messages with 19 men who ultimately traveled to various locations in Marion County

thinking they were meeting a child between the ages of 12 and 16 for sexual activity. What are they, sick? Way too old. What? Who? I don't know nothing about that. According to deputies during the exchange, these men engaged in sexually explicit conversations with people they thought were underage children. What we've got here is failure to communicate. When the men arrived at these locations, they were met by deputies who arrested them.

Well, that's unfair. A child's innocence is something we should all strive to protect, said Marion County Sheriff Billy Woods. I will continue to use all of my resources to hunt down these predators so they may never hurt a child. According to a news release, eight additional men who did not travel to meet a child had arrest warrants issued for sending sexually explicit pictures to individuals whom they believed were minors. Out of those men, three have been arrested and five are actively being sought. Ladies of Spain, for we received orders to diddle your asshole. And so I am and I shall see you again. Check these people out real quick.

There's some lookers. Look at this. Looks like the, you know what it looks like? The fucking Maury Povich audience, look at my favorite one is, second row down, three in from the left, Evan Welshens, look at, he's got green, a green hair, he banged some kid on St. Patrick's Day, he's got green dyed hair, and then you got Benjamin Statton, who's at the top, in the top.

It looks like this could be the NFL defensive back for the Ravens. Benjamin Statton, he's got a fucking scary motherfucker. Where they have the little introduction video in the beginning. Yeah, and they look up, and they have a kid's rattle in their mouth. Benjamin Statton, kid fucker, Notre Dame.

Then you got Alexander Slows. Some of the names are perfect. Damien Shade, bottom row, far right. And the guy to his left, look at the... He's doing a Robin Williams impression. You've shown a pretty mouth. Oh. Yeah.

Boy, you've got a pretty mouth there, bro. Squeal like a pig for me, boy. And then look at one more. Sorry. Again, top row, black guy in the middle. To his right, Nathan Lewis. Look at that inbred. Oh, my God.

Why don't you stay home and just bang your sister like your father did? Goodness gracious, Heloise. All right, that's it, folks. Again, thank you so much. Don't forget, we're running a repeat tomorrow because, again, Nick DiPaolo is still traveling like Neil Young after 35 years. I've been to a club with a... I've been to yuck yucks with a comedian

and it's good to be out of the... Excuse me. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com. Sign up. Do yourself a favor. You want to laugh before I get kicked out of the country? Comicsgym.com.

Don't forget nickdip.com don't forget patreon.com you can sign up at all these things and cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or relative I'll give you a minute and a half or two you know you tell me the person's aim

a little bit about them, zing zang it's easy, it's fun, it's no money for me hardly, fucking apple takes a nice chunk of that too, scurvy motherless fucks, anyways, you guys think and I'll say it, very welcome, see you on Monday,

or I might see you up there in Connecticut, bye. guitar solo I'm out. Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok