The Nick DiPaolo Show - My Cousin Nicky #156

Episode Date: April 29, 2019

Welcome to the South. Whites still in 2020 race to Dem's dismay. Trump Jr. trashes Times.  

I'm not homeless, guys. I just moved to Georgia waiting for my house to be ready to put the earth in on the floors and all that horse shit, so I'm staying at a buddy's... Well, he said it was a guest bedroom. Welcome to Georgia. I don't know. Usually there's an engine block in the front yard

or a fucking canoe. I get radial tires, but it's all good. I made a nice mattress. Plenty to eat. I look like an actor living in New York City. Anyways, it's going to be great down here. Keep your chin up. I am. I got to go. Oh yeah! Welcome to Georgia, everybody! How are ya? The new version of the Nick DiPaolo Show. Glad to be with ya. This episode of the Nick DiPaolo Show, brought to you by InfiniteCBD.com.

They offer the cleanest, healthiest, and purest forms of CBD available. CBD is derived from hemp plants. It gives you all the benefits of marijuana without getting high. And here's why I recommend InfiniteCBD. InfiniteCBD uses a double extraction method followed by refining the CBD. The end result, infinite CBD products are over 99% CBD. Other companies use CBD oil. Not good. Not infinite CBD.

This is the purest CBD you can find and is the third party tested for guaranteed purity. Here's why I use CBD. I can't sleep. You guys know me. I'm a fucking wreck for years. But they have gummy bears, which I love, okay? I eat about a pound of those. And you're only supposed to eat a couple.

But it's like having a couple glasses of wine. And I've been sleeping like a baby since I started with this stuff. It's great. Also, they have pills with caffeine. So when you need to focus, you can get off the cocaine. CBD works for me, and research has shown it has helped people for a variety of different ailments, including pain management, anxiety, insomnia, and more. The point is, they've got a large product line, and if you go to InfiniteCBD.com,

you can see which one of their products is going to help you live a healthier life. Go to InfiniteCBD.com, that's I-N-F-I-N-I-T-E-C-B-D.com. And if you use the promo code Nick15 for April only, they'll give you 20% off. That's InfiniteCBD.com and code Nick15 for 20% off all orders in April. And we thank CBDInfinite.com for supporting the nick dupalo show excited to be here folks you know i just made the the move i always had more in common with people in uh in the south and in georgia and uh whatnot and um so i'm very comfortable down here well i'll be honest the first week i was like my fucking my cousin nicky i was a little out of sorts and people

were busting my balls about how I dressed and whatnot. Real quick, shout-outs. Syl Gendron gave a very nice contribution. And Richard Reddy, who's in the service, by the way, in Germany. Richard, thank you for your service. And he's a Patreon member. Thank you for the contribution. Go to nickdip.com to contribute.

And, yeah, I'm loving it down here. Sure, it's 93, fucking April, and my nuts have been stuck to my legs since I got off the plane last week. But you know, there's things you can do. Cornmeal, that's what they use down south. You dip your balls in cornmeal like the hush puppies and you're off to the races. You know what I'm saying? There's an answer for everything. The people are a little different. You know, a little bit of a culture clash. But they're very friendly. I met my next door neighbor and he wasn't fond of how I dress, I guess.

And here he is. Sick of all these city boys and their damn slacks, preppy ass shirt. These damn coveralls holding some big fucking balls. Ready to whoop some city boys ass. Yeah, bring it on, bitch. I got a Calvin Clyde tie on. I'll knock that fucking hat right off your head. Red man.

How about redneck? Change that hat, silly. He was an extra on Hee Haw for 12 years. It's amazing. He looks very good. Anyways, what is going on in the news, ladies and gentlemen? Despite record diversity diversity this is that word again it's that fucking mantra you know

diversity diversity i'm so sick of it if you go to my first uh comedy album which i did in 1993 i was saying diversity was a crock of shit 1993 that's 26 years ago i was ahead of the curve and labeled a bigot for that. But the people in San Diego that were all white that night, they were laughing their tits off, I'll tell you. Democrats seeking to reclaim the White House, calling for generational change. It might be time for a woman or a minority. Well, that's your fucking opinion. No, they're ignorant.

That's ignorant. But for all the talk of breaking new presidential ground, the opposition party's top candidates to become the new boss look about the same as the current boss. White, male, and pretty old. I love how they can just, these are the PC party that every time we say the word black, they get quiet or Jew and they shit their pants. But they can throw around old white male. They throw it around like it's nothing.

And I will be doing the same on this show. So if you're sick of that, join in my hatred for the Democrats, okay? The two top candidates leading the race to replace him are pale male and stale too. Oh, alliteration almost. Pale male. What the fuck? And stale too. Oh, alliteration almost.

Pale male. What the fuck? When Obama was there, we didn't say we had a skinny black stick figure who wears his mother-in-law's jeans and a fucking helmet when he rides a bike. Big girl. And that's why they hate Trump, by the way, because he is a white male billionaire. People always talk about, why do they hate Trump so much he embodies everything they hate he's an alpha male he's rich he's got blue eyes and blonde hair he is the devil incarnate to these people former vice president joe biden uh jumped into the race thursday he's 76 has spent the bulk of

his life in national politics while bernie sanders that old curmudgeon jew who i like by the way i don't like his politics, but I like that he's a miserable prick. Every time you see him speak, you go, this guy hasn't taken a good dump in about three weeks. He's just a miserable son of a bitch. But he's been in Congress since 1991.

The two men's dominance in the 2020 Democratic field is at odds with last year's midterms, when record numbers of women and minorities were elected to the most diverse U.S. Congress ever. They don't even care. They don't even care about merit, whether you can do the job or not. Apparently, it's not that hard. I mean, Trump jumped into it. He's never in politics ever in his whole life, and he's kicking ass, regardless of what MSNBC's telling you and CNN. The presidential race itself is historically diverse. Six broads,

chicks, I mean tits, I mean women, candidates, three blackfellas, I mean African-Americans, I mean, what's the proper term? I don't know. Oh, one of those might be abroad. I'm so confused. Hispanic, form a cabinet member, which is funny. I have a Hispanic putting my cabinets in my new house. You can laugh, fellas.

What the fuck? Jesus, you're holding it in. Oh, we have an Asian-American run for president. I'm sure he's got a shot. And what's his slogan? Chicken and broccoli in every pot. Just made that up. Show me another fucking host that can do that.

We're coming to you live, by the way. We'll do it live. God damn right. We'll do it live. Fuck it. Told you I was in a good mood this morning. We'll do it live. Fuck it.

Told you I was in a good mood this morning. And yet it is the two septuagenarians who currently dominate the nominations landscape, with Biden at 29% and Sanders at 23%, and the latest real clear politics polling. What is the big... They're upset about this. The Dems are upset about this. You know? You know, the NBA is about, what, 85% black?

You know why? They're really good at it. Did it ever fucking dawn on you that all white guys, by the way, this country is founded by all white guys, four fucking white guys, actually. So don't get your panties in a bunch. You know, it's not all black and women a couple hundred years later. It's happening, but not fast enough for these people. But my point is, what would you rather watch, an NBA league that was 85% white? I wouldn't.

You want to watch people playing a foot under the rim? Put on the fucking WNBA. Okay? So hung up on diversity. How about who can do the goddamn job? Kamala Harris. Yeah, so unlike recent congressional elections, presidential politics has been the most dominated by men and masculinity for all of our history. And I just explained to you why.

If this country is founded by six black transgender women, that's what we'll be focusing on. Apparently, that's what the colleges are focusing on. This woman who did this poll, Ditmar, said it's not true just in who inhabits the office, but in the norms of behavior and expectations voters place in presidential leaders. You know what they expect from presidential leaders? Voters place in presidential leaders. You know what they expect from presidential leaders? People who won't go around the fucking planet on their first day apologizing for the United States.

They want somebody who can kick the economy into gear. Trump, checkbox. Somebody who will crush ISIS, check. Somebody who will put people on the Supreme Court who won't interpret the Constitution you know, the Constitution the way they feel, but the way it was written. That's what the most Americans want. How do you think the orange fella got in? Anyways, a woman, of course, has made the case that it's possible to shatter that presidential shield of masculinity as Hillary Clinton shattered that glass ceiling only because she weighs 650 pounds and her feet went right through it. But she did when she won more popular votes than Trump in 2016,

yet she still lost because she was a lazy old broad laying on the couch in Chappaqua. Bill's like, honey, you've got to go to Wisconsin. You've got to go to Michigan. Fuck that. I got it wrapped up. Didn't you watch Rachel Maddow with that giant Adam's apple? Yeah, fuckhead. So, yeah, they want a woman.

And then Hillary was the closest that they came. And, boy, they're still pissed about this. Oh, that's sexist. That's sexist. White man's privilege. The hype that accompanied the entry into the race by Texan Beto O'Rourke. Do you guys remember him? Skateboarding pussy.

6.3 he's polling at. I came in at 7.8. A white 40-something ex-Congressman with a thin resume contrasted sharply with the muted coverage of the rollout by progressive senator Elizabeth Warren, who came in at a whopping 6.5 percent. We call her olive oil. She's a titless wonder and a leftist. O'Rourke, who literally wandered into the wilderness before launching his campaign, appeared to acknowledge the hand he has been dealt. This is a quote from Beta O'Rourke, big girl. As a white man who has had privileges that others could not depend on or take for granted, I've clearly had advantages over the course of my life, he told NBC News as they all jerked off to him. That's why you're polling at 6.3% and you had 12 college

kids at your last rally. Even the young kids don't like a self-hating white man. I had it all handed to me. Fucking bullshit. I hear that. People say that to me. I get into it with somebody in a podcast that I wouldn't admit. I go, yeah, yeah, I'm so privileged. I'm at the comedy cell. I'm making $20. The other people have been doing it for 10 minutes. The fuck are you talking about? My grandparents are from Italy. They came over here with garlic knots in their pocket. And in their stomach.

Deke, put that hat on like a white guy, will you? You look like a 14-year-old fucking gangbanger. Thank you. This is a Nick DiPaolo show, okay? I'm not doing the fucking Ray Rice interview. Anyways, Sanders and Biden, unlike O'Rourke, have gotten to the point in which they realize the limitations they have as older white men

in being able to understand the challenges of women in communities of color. Shut up! Please stop with that fucking horseshit. What percentage of the United States population is made up of black females? What is it? Point oh nine percent. Just like gays make up about four percent of the world population.

But 90 percent of the programming on the Food Network. I can't find a straight person on there. If you watch the Food Network, I want to put on Chop once without seeing a broad that looks like John Madden with a purple crew cut. She's in a summer dress, nine rings in her nose, peeling a carrot angrily. She's got forearms like the skipper from Gilligan's Island, just fuming. It's still 68% white, the country. Folks, it'll change. Democrats, don't worry. I know you can't get us out of the way quick enough, but you got two old white guys

winning your race. What does that tell you? Quit fighting it and take note. And one of them's Jewish. I thought this was a bigoted country. But they will need to speak in a more detailed way about how you're going to best empathize with the experiences of women and communities of color in a way that goes beyond a tagline or one thing you did in the past. Miss Dittmar, do me a favor. You need to shut the fuck up. You know what you got to do? You white guys running against and losing to Biden and Bernie, you got to go transgender. Just identify yourself as a black fucking housemate or whatever. Dress like that for the rest of the year. You will win. You will win.

Throw in a hair lip, too, and a limp. They like that. I read an article. The question about Bernie Sanders, the headline read, is Bernie likable enough? Well, I think this picture says it all, don't you? Sure. Look at him. Who wouldn't want to say hi to him at Starbucks?

Look at that fucking face. Two words for you, bran muffins. Look at the guy to Bernie's right. Bernie just farted. One of those dehydrated 90-year-old mummy farts. Fucking guy on the right is going, do I have shit on my upper lip? Jesus Christ. The guy on Bernie's to my left, he's just looking away.

Look at the lady in the front. Her eyes are like mustard gas. He just dropped a bagel schmear fart that would have taken out 200 curds. They can't believe that all white guys are still winning. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Black guys are great athletes. White guys are great politicians.

They're born lying cocksuckers. Having fun yet, everybody? Are you? I know I am. Great show, isn't it? You know you want crazy motherfucking walk, man. Hey, mind your business. Anyways, the New York Times is under fire because that's a really reliable paper.

They give away fucking military secrets and, you know, just like I wouldn't let my cat shit on The New York Times. I had a cat that I didn't kill. But they're in some deep doo doo. Under fire. New York Times finally apologizes for anti-Semitic cartoon. Get this through your head. Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you. Let's see the picture of that that that cartoon up there.

Look at that that is why would you make him a venus schnitzel dog even that aren't those german were they rubbing it in put mustard on that it looks like trump's trying to fuck it first of all that's what i found offensive but can you imagine can you imagine that looks like john madden coaching the Raiders. Can you imagine if this was on Breitbart or some other so-called bigoted website, and look, they give Netanyahu the big Jewish nose and shit. This is the New York Times. That's owned by Jews. At least it was.

But this is – how could you not be offended by this? They're catching all kinds of shit, by the way. But this looks like something you'd see in a Klan paper or whatever. The Times ran a cartoon on Thursday showing a blind President Trump wearing a skullcap. Is that what they're called, skullcaps? That's even – it's a yarmulke, right? Yeah, it's a yarmulke. It's a yarmulke. Sk skullcap. Is that what they call skullcaps? That's even, it's a yarmulke, right?

It's a yarmulke. It's a yarmulke, skullcap. That's something you put on a baby that was born with water on his head. That's a skullcap. That's, I don't know who drew that, but that's fucking pretty funny.

I don't know why they went with that dog, though. It looks like Trump's penis. It's got a face on the head. Does it not, ladies and gentlemen? Anyways, they show a blind Donald Trump wearing a skullcap. Being led around by Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu is portrayed as a dog. The leash and collar on the Netanyahu dog character in the cartoon have a star of david on it well is that what upset you he is jewish but he can put a gold chain on him like he's fucking barkley but the problem is this this

mirrors a literal nazi propaganda against jews And then British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, some people have pointed out on social media. We actually have some audio of the editor who put this up at the New York Times. We secretly recorded him talking. Actually, it was a woman actually talking, and they were having a discussion about this. It seems foolish to have all this money lying around. Oh, you'd rather have it down at the bank where the Jewish guys can leer at it? Yeah. The New York Times Saturday retracting the imagery.

The image was offensive and it was an error of judgment to publish it. It was provided by the New York Times News Service and Syndicate, which has since deleted it. Times News Service and Syndicate, which has since deleted it. We also have more audio of somebody that worked at the Times that was upset about deleting it. This is what he had to say. The satanic Jews, they control everything and mostly everybody. That was the Times. The Times attracted it and said it was an error in judgment to publish it.

Its original editor's note statement did not apologize for this at all. Also did not answer when asked by Breitbart News about structural reforms that may be necessary as a result of this mistake. They've been doing this shit for years. Like they said, in World War II, when the Nazis were slaughtering the Jews, they put it on page like nine with the horoscopes. Aquarius, ooh, you'll come into money soon. What's this? Oh, six million Jews slaughtered. I mean, come on.

They've always been anti-Semitic. I live in New York City. That's when I started reading the New York Post, which you can read in five minutes. That's more my speed. I live in New York City. That's when I started reading the New York Post, which you can read in five minutes. That's more my speed. Even so, despite the criticism, the Times held on for more than a full day after the initial reaction without an apology and without any transparency about what was happening inside the newspaper.

Good luck with that. Three whole fucking days after the publication of the anti-Semitic image and a full more than 24 hours after the initial retraction, the Times is finally openly apologizing for its actions and announcing an internal review and significant changes to its editorial process. They're going to hire nothing but black transvestites. That's how they're going to overcome this. They said, we are deeply sorry for the publication of anti-Semitic political cartoon last Thursday in the print edition of the New York Times that circulates outside of the United States, and we are committed to making sure nothing like this happens again. We've hired three young black kids from Wendy's to do the editing. Is that? Oh, I'm sorry.

I misread that. The statement continued, such imagery. Now, this is coming from the paper that posted this clearly anti-Semitic thing that the whole world knows anti-Semitic. And if you can believe any of this, such image. Put a bun on that thing. I'm starving. Somebody get me a pound of onions and some goldens. God damn it. Such imagery is always dangerous. And at a time when anti-Semitism is on the rise worldwide, they'll blame that on Trump, too.

It's all the more unacceptable. You know, so why did you put it out there, you motherless tit wonders? We have investigated how this happened and learned that because of a faulty process, they make it sound like a circuit blue somewhere, a single editor working without adequate oversight, they're blaming it on a single guy that no, a single editor that we hired off the streets, working without adequate oversight,

this is how it works at the time. Downloaded the syndicated cartoon and made the decision to include it on the opinion page. He later stormed out of his office doing a goose step with his armband. The matter remains under review and we are evaluating.

Oh, it's so complicated. You fire the fucking guy. That's the beauty of being on the left. You can get caught fucking slapping a baby in the face, and they're like, we're going to promote that person. We are evaluating our internal processes and training. We anticipate significant changes. How about you burn down the fucking building and try reporting real news, okay? The Times has still not identified who that single editor was.

But his name is Rausen C. Crooks Rausen. Who somehow made the decision unilaterally to publish the cartoon. What a crock of fucking shit that is. You know that? I don't know nothing about that. You know everything about it. It's typical for the New York Times. They don't like Jews.

There's Jews in New York who don't like Jews. They're so far left. A lot of them moved from the lower east side of Manhattan down to Florida, and they migrated down south. And they go into these towns, probably here to – well, I don't know. They moved here to Georgia. But they go down – you know what they do? They change the whole voting in certain towns because it's all like real hard leftists.

And they'll turn a red town that votes Republican into a... I hear people complaining about it when I do these gigs in Florida. Someday I won't be doing those. That's my wet dream. Anyways, fuck you, New York Times. Nobody believes you. And you waited three days. You know who was upset about it?

Donald Trump Jr. There he is. And holy Christ. That's good. He's doing the black power sign. What the fuck? His old man's supposed to be a racist. And trump who looked like he looks like uh he looks like every guy that was in that film wall street disgusting he tweeted i have no words for flagrant anti-semitism on display here i don't mind regular anti-semitism but flagrant is where i draw the fucking line imagine this was something other than a leftist newspaper exactly and that's what's so funny about it they're always pointing their fingers at the right and calling them bigots anti-semites racist and we all know the truth you dinks so donald trump's you know he's upset trump june is not

the only son of the two world leaders in the cartoon who spoke out. Netanyahu's son, Yair. Oh, there's a message from Louis C.K. He says, I'm in jail. Help me out. Netanyahu's son, Yair, slammed the New York Times over the depiction. He said, depiction. He said, no one should be surprised by the vile anti-Semitic cartoon published by the Times. Yari changed the time. He said, Charge, the New York Times, has always been anti-Israel

newspaper, and yes, anti-Jewish too Netanyahu referred among other things I brought this up early to the Times controversial World War II treatment of reports that Adolf Hitler was methodically murdering the Jews of Europe with the newspaper at the time infamously relegating the few reports it carried on the Holocaust to the back pages. They just admitted there was a Holocaust like two weeks ago at the Times. For the love of my sister's ass. Why is... Excuse me, Priscilla? Is that you?

I'm getting messages that has your name on it. You're fired. Huh? Well, tell them to stop. Anyways, no one should be surprised about the violent, that's what he said. During World War II, the newspaper deliberately hid from the American public news dispatches about the extermination of millions of Jews in Europe,

and he's absolutely right about that. It's no surprise, he says, that the New York Times so strongly opposes President Trump's brave decisions to recognize Jerusalem as Israel's capital and declare the Golan Heights as part of Israel. Also, we should acknowledge Trump moving the Arby's in Queens. It was Radfield. Moved it to Brooklyn. Kind of a unilateral fucking move.

This committee owes an apology. This committee owes an apology. So we know who the anti-Semites are. And if you live in New York, buy the New York Post. Like I said, it's a fucking pamphlet that you can read in five minutes. But it's just so ironic. The most politically correct party. It's a fucking pamphlet that you can read in five minutes. But it's just so ironic. The most politically correct party. It's always them.

They project. They are the racist. They are the bigots. They always have been. They started the Klan. They were pro-slavery Democrats for years. Speaking of pro-slavery, I have to do a club this weekend at Tampa. Speaking of pro-slavery, I have to do a club this weekend in Tampa.

Go to nickdip.com for these dates, ladies and gentlemen. Friday and Saturday, that's this weekend, May 3rd and 4th, I'll be at Side Splitters in Tampa. I don't do many clubs anymore, but I like the owner. You see he drinks like a fish and smokes. We'll be dead by Sunday night. Friday and Saturday, May 10th and 11th, I'm going to Governor's in Levittown, Long Island, one of my favorite haunts, which is funny because I used to drive when I lived in New York. That was an hour gig for me, drive, and now I have to catch two planes, a helicopter, and a boat. Friday, May 31st.

Jonathan's in a Gatwick, Maine. That's a gay town, so if you think I'm anti-gay, I love Jonathan's. You should see me. I wear assless chaps. Guys, let it out. Okay? What the fuck? What are you here for?

I'll fire you all today. Saturday, June 1st. Whites of Westport. I can't believe they allow that name. It's called Whites of Westport in Westport, Mass. I hope Sharpton's not going to be picketing out front. I don't like Mr. O'Reilly, this club. This club is racist. The name is racist.

I don't like it. And it's a italian fella got a filthy racist mouth on him that being said i got tickets for me and 12 of my friends uh friday june 7th i'm at the steel stacks bethlehem pennsylvania saturday august 10th newtown theater newtown pennsylvania friday and saturday august 16th and 17th helium comedy club in philadelphia That'll be a nice dry heat, huh? Last time I was there, I was violated by a guy named Tyrone. Friday, October 18th, the Ridgefield Playhouse, Ridgefield, Connecticut. Friday, November 15th, the Cortland Repertory Theater, Cortland, New York. And then New Year's Eve, back at the beautiful Tarrytown Music Hall, Tarrytown, New York.

Show up for that one. I really put out like a $2 hooker on New Year's Eve. What else? Oh, this is my favorite story of the day. You know Jake Tapper? He worked at Fox News for about five minutes, and then we found out that he was a leftist fucking moron, a useful idiot, as you would say.

CNN's Jake Tapper admits Trump did not call neo-Nazis very fine people in Charlottesville. But didn't we all know that, that have a half a fucking brain? I think we did. The admission came as Tapper and his CNN panel discussed former Vice President Joe Biden's campaign launch video released on Thursday. This fucking pissed me off so goddamn much. Biden announced last Thursday, even though we established that he grabs tits and sniffs dogs' asses and old ladies, he's on the spectrum of autistic. You guys call Trump dumb. This guy is a fucking moron.

I want to like him because he's had a lot of tragedy in his life, you know. He lost his wife and daughter in a car accident. And you can't tell me that didn't affect him in some way. He lost his son to cancer. I think it's karma for his politics, personally. But he announced that he was running for president. And right away, in his announcement, in his goddamn announcement, not even the campaign hasn't even started yet. In his announcement, he plays the race card about what Trump said after. Here you go. And that's when we heard the words of the president

of the United States that stunned the world and shocked the conscience of this nation. He said there were, quote, some very fine people on both sides, very fine people on both sides. Yeah. Did it come out in French, shithead? How come I knew exactly what Trump was talking about that day? Those people were protesting the fucking General Lee statue. And that's who he was talking about. I knew it, everybody. But a lot of this blame should go on the Trump administration. They didn't address it.

They let it grow. They let it fester like a tumor on Hillary's ass for a couple years. And then Trump finally addresses it. Very fine people on both sides. Maybe he's talking about the Yankees' Red Sox rivalry. You wouldn't know that, though, Dems. You're watching Game of Thrones and playing Dungeons and Dragons because you get beat up as kids, thank Christ.

Am I almost done? Can I get my free cheeseburger? We need a clock, by the way. Somebody make a note. We need a goddamn clock. Find one now if you can. I don't like to perform without a clock. I'm a professional.

Got this out of the tub. It backed up at the house. Bought a house that was built in 11 AD. How many four bedrooms do you know that have a motor on it? Mama. So, yeah, CNN, you know, if you're still watching CNN, that means you're severely retarded or you're trapped at any airport at Delta. Can you stay cataclysmic?

You are fake news. Sir. So Trump came out recently and, you know, two years later and said, this one really pissed me off because it reminded me of the George W. Bush administration. They used to, the left would say all this lying shit about him and they wouldn't, they'd turn a cheek. They kept trying. You know what that got us? Eight years of Obama. When somebody says something untrue about you, you get in their face.

Don't you? That's why I love Trump. He's like me. I have a lot. All the qualities that people hate in Trump, I have them too. They say he's petty and shit. My parents used to say to me, you can't let anything go. And I go, yeah, that's exactly right. And that's how I am as an adult. If I'm at the food court at the mall and there's like a 10-year-old girl staring at me, I go, what the fuck are you looking at? I'll slap that ice cream cone out of your hand. You never seen a handsome, nice, young Italian fellow enjoying a slice of fucking pizza?

Mind your business, bitch. I call that a teachable moment. I got that from Obama. But I love that about Trump. But he took too long on this one. I mean, why let this thing fester? Here's Trump addressing it recently. I was talking about people that went because they felt very strongly about the monument

to Robert E. Lee, a great general, whether you like it or not. He was one of the great generals. I've spoken to many generals here, right at the White House, and many people thought of the generals. They think that he was maybe their favorite general. People were there protesting. What a bullshit. Taking down of the monument of Robert E. Lee.

When he speaks, he's like me when I got an essay question in high school. You know, you fill the first three pages with bullshit. We were talking about your comments about Charlottesville. Generals, you know, generals are very good people. I know a lot of generals. Matter of fact, when I have Chinese food, General Tsao's chicken. I don't know if you know the history of General Tsao. Great general.

A lot of the Chinese loved him. Three generals. The general idea, he really is. I was a salesman, folks, when I got out of college. This guy, he just shovels it, man, you know. You take an essay and you just fucking, that's what I used to do in high school. You know,

it was an essay question about the Civil War and I'd fucking, it was like a lot of other wars. World War II, there was rifles and guns and people dying. Eight pages later,

D minus. Tapper played a clip of Trump's remarks, though not the portion in which Trump made it clear to reporters that he was not talking about the neo-nazis and the white nationals because they should be condemned totally why wouldn't you play that tapper you fuck nut instead tapper described that portion of the press conference he said tapper said now elsewhere in those remarks trump

did condemn neo-nazis and white supremacists so he's not saying that neo-naazis and white supremacists. So he's not saying that neo-Nazis and white supremacists are very fine people. We know, you dumb fuck! Why didn't you report it like that? They intentionally took him out of contact. We know that! Jesus H. Christ! And you're still working for CNN?

That's like Brian Williams still has a job. Lying, motherless fuck. Tapper's admission is a major concession by CNN. No, it's not. Which has refused thus far to correct or retract its repeated claims in recent weeks that Trump was, in fact, referring to the neo-Nazis as very fine people. The network even, listen to this, aired deceptively edited video of Trump's remarks to create the impression that he had said something that he had not they're fucking ridiculous and they're still on the fucking air

CNN still on the air Donna Brazile had the goddamn debate questions for Hillary when she was running against Bernie Sanders and she's still on TV Shar Sharpton still has a show. Responsible for racial riots in New York. People dying. Tawana Brawley. They still have fucking contracts with networks on the left. How much more evidence do you need? Where is the building? CNN's in Atlanta, right?

I can get down there if I leave one o'clock. You know how to make a Molotov? Sir? Not for... I'm just asking. That was separate from the... In the Friday broadcast, Tapper went on to question the notion that anyone

protesting alongside the neo-Nazis could be very fine people. Exactly. So where were you two years ago? Look at that. Look at that shit-eating grin. It's like a baby with gas. Got that dog shit haircut. And he was at Fox News-eating grin. It's like a baby with gas. Got that dog shit haircut. And he was at Fox News for like three minutes. As the New York Times reported at the time,

some protesters who were present in Charlottesville had nothing to do with the neo-Nazis or white supremacists. Oh, my God, even the Times got it right? But again, I blame them for taking so long for, somebody kicks you in the balls, you don't wait a year to kick them back. And that thing really mushroomed. And it really hurt the country. It still hurts Trump to this day. And Biden used it in his announcement. He's going to, he's playing the race card in his announcement. So you know where he's going if he gets elected.

And that's what you want. That's fine. Some people want that. Oh, my God. What do we got here? Oh, let's talk, folks. Let's talk about something called Orange Crush. I'm not talking about Melania's love for her husband.

Orange Crush is like a black spring break that they have not far from here at a place called Tybee Island. And it's quite a gathering. And apparently the guy who organized it is in some deep shit. And I'm blacker than black and I'm black, y'all. Tybee Island, the police department, says that they have arrested the Orange Crush promoter on felony charges. It's that racist justice system. They can't get a break, these fellas. I love Orange Crush, by the way. I drink like a 14-year-old black kid. I love.

I do. I love Orange Crush. I love fucking Mountain, by the way. I drink like a 14-year-old black kid. I love... I do. I love Orange Crush. I love fucking Mountain Dew. Anything grape. Well, I have black blood in me. Let's be honest. I got a lot of Italian in me. So I bought a bag of pork cracklings down here.

Pork crackling. It's actually fat from a fucking pork shoulder. And they deep fry it for four years and throw it in a bag like it's Cheez-Its. I bought them. I'm like, these can't be good for you. I turn it around, and I know they're not going to be. There's a picture of Dick Cheney clutching his chest. 7,100 grams of fat per sniff.

Oh, my God, are they good. I'm Southern, y'all. Anyways, they arrested him on felony charges. And the department says all events associated with Orange Crush and George Mikey Turner are cancer. Anytime you do business with a George Mikey Turner. Sounds like one of those sitcom guys from the 80s. Always had three names, you know, Patrick Michael Faggotry and Todd Jamal Kevin. Anyways, let's take a look at what goes on at Orange.

I wanted to, I wasn't around. I wanted to catch this Orange Crush thing, but I was stuck in Charlotte because I went to it a few years ago. They fucking love me. Here's what goes on. I see nothing wrong so far. What the hell is Warren Sapp doing? We've got Warren Sapp. He's practicing his blocking.

That doesn't look like fun. You're going to tell me the guy that promoted this type of stuff was into some bad shit? You saw the ass on that woman. Mother of Christ, it was beautiful. Poor cracklings. There's a white version of Orange Crush they have at that, what is it, village down in Florida? You know, here's the white version of Orange Crush, you guys. Yeah.

Look at them titties. That guy's got some rhythm, huh? Guy's got some rhythm, huh? Guy had the rhythm of a broken furnace. It's a nice shot of a German bodybuilder in his 60s dancing on the beach. Somebody get hard. Ryan's not here. Turner, the promoter, was arrested Friday night by Tabby Island Police and charged with a felony for criminal damage to property in the second degree for serious damage to personal and real property.

Police additionally charged him, get this, with providing a false name to officers, maintaining a disorderly house. What? Jesus Christ, I hope they don't come to my neighborhood. I'm living on a mattress right now. I'm like Steve Buscemi in The Sopranos. I need a little Asian hooker to jack me off. How do you charge somebody maintaining a disorderly house? What happens when they've rented the house and they trashed it?

These things happen. In violation of the city ordinance and actively promoting an unpermitted event. Sounds like one of my stand-up gigs that Tommy booked. Tybee police responded to a house on the north end for overflow parking. Loud noise coming from the home. And Warren Sapp shaking his ass. Once police arrived, an estimated 200 people left the one-bedroom apartment. No.

That would be Mexicans. Nothing. Once police arrived, an estimated 200 people left the property. The owner of the house had previously asked the home be vacated. According to the authorities, officers found significant damage to the residents

when they inspected. Turner provided a fictitious identity to officers on the scene. His license said Tony Danza. What the fuck? And then he provided another one, Carol Channing. He was later properly identified by officers and arrested. He's not a good guy. Liar, liar, whore, liar liar whore liar whore you know

turner was actively promoting a party that happened without the homeowner's permission and charging admission there he is listen fella i'm not gonna i sort of respect you i mean you would organize in you a nice party for people sure you didn't have the permission to use the house and shit, and you trashed it, but I'm sure you're a nice fella, and you'll be drafted by the Falcons next year. If you're lucky. Doesn't look upset.

I'm guessing that's like not his first mugshot. Yeah, exactly. What the fuck? I've been on camera before. What are you going to do? I'm going to Orange Crush next year. I'm going to Orange Crush next year. I'm going to promote it in conjunction with the Cracker Barrel.

There'll be free cheese for everyone. All kinds of accordions. I'm telling you, we're your britches. I'm going to dedicate the last part of the show to me being down here uh I and I do folks don't go Georgia don't get mad at the cold opening and shit I I moved here didn't I I fucking I like it I I'm not looking for the oppressive heat I bit of a bitch about that it's but I heard I heard it only runs the heat runs from like May until December. Is that true? You're going to have skin cancer and fucking chiggers. Chiggers are in trees. I know, it's not a racist.

It's not. It's bugs. They have live oak trees down there. You know, the moss hanging off the Spanish moss. And the chiggers, fill in your own Tiger Woods joke. They're in the Spanish moss, and they're like ticks. They cling onto your balls. And at this point, they don't sound like a bad idea.

But it's very different. You know, I'm from the Northeast, Boston, New York area, and I grew up on Italian food and shit, but I've always liked gumbo and stuff like that, fried cracklings and Mountain Dew. I like Southern stuff. And let's take a look at some of the most popular. These are, well, they said they're 10 obscure Southern dishes that you need to know.

Spoon bread. God bless the South. They're trying to eat fucking bread with a spoon. What are you, Chinese? It's like a Chinese guy trying to eat a prime rib with his. But as you can see, that looks delicious. Anything could be under that, by the way. That's the thing. It could be seafood, right? It could, they say it could be pork. It could be chiggers. It could be chiggers and a nice cream sauce. But I don't like the name. That's very racist. Spoon.

That's like a derogatory thing for black people up north. I'm just saying. You southern people still letting it fly down here. Also spoon bread, oh, it's Native American in origin, so it tastes like Elizabeth Warren. Ooh. Let's skip over that one, huh? Boiled peanuts.

Look at these. Oh, that looks appetizing. Yeah,? Boiled peanuts. Look at these. Oh, that looks appetizing. Yeah, my dick's getting hard looking at that. That's what I found in the fucking sink when we moved into our house. Have you had boiled peanuts, folks? This is a southern thing. It's like somebody dropped a bag of peanuts

in a puddle for two days. Or you had your dog piss on them. They're salty and wet. And you know what? I love them. So does my wife. She had me eating these in New York. I eat the dry peanuts with the shell on, you know, so when I move my bowels, I have to get stitched up.

These are nice and mushy. And you just, you don't take them. Honey, do you take them out of the shell? Some. What are you, racist against some? If they're real mushy? If they're mushy, I don't. You can put these right in a food processor and make peanut pudding, boiled peanut smoothie.

I love them. I ate a can and a half of those, and I had the blood pressure of B.B. King when he passed out on stage before he died. But what else do we have here? That's not obscure, but how obscure is boiled peanuts? This guy, who wrote this thing? Somebody from the Times, some Jew here? Oh, chitlins. Chitlins.

That's a good picture of chitlins, by the way. They actually look appetizing there. Chitlins, if you guys don't know, it's the guts. It's the intestines of pigs and shit. You don't even have to cook them. You could see like a dead raccoon in the breakdown lane and just suck on his ass for an hour and a half, and you're going to get some intestines. But I like all this shit.

You know, like I said, I'm half Italian, half a little bit black in there. I'm a big chitlins fan. Yeah, their intestines. And so was sausage, by the way. You know, sausage casings are the intestines, you know. If you like intestines. I actually tasted intestines because I went a little too far with the broad one night. I got all fucked up on some type of angel dust and they found her

head in the freezer but listen on to the next dish what do we got here comeback sauce you know what's funny and it says comeback sauce by the way you know where you can get it they say it's very uh prevalent in atlanta well you should have gave the falcon some of that shit with about a minute left against the Patriots. Apparently the Patriots had a gallon of it at halftime. Comeback sauce. This is what you eat when you come out of rehab. You were declared as mentally ill and you're on heroin.

They go, try this comeback sauce. Then you find yourself working at a Kia a week later. Johnny Cakes. They're also called hoe cakes, and that's because they look like the tits of a 68-year-old hooker. I still don't know what that is. It looks like an English muffin, and I have no idea what that is. A glob of Hep C on top.

Chow Chow. Oh, this is my favorite. Let's look at the Chow Chow. Oh, this is my favorite. Let's look at the Chow Chow, huh? I ordered these when we stopped in Charlotte when I first came down here. I ordered the Chow Chow, and I said, why did the head chef jerk off on my fucking black eyed peas? And it looks like he hadn't got a nut off in about a month. A little bit chunky for me.

I don't mean to be gross, folks, but if you can eat that, aye, aye, aye. What is that? You know. What's your name? Deke. Deke, you grew up here. What's on top there? I have no fucking clue. I'll tell you what it is. Earwax and carrots. I've never had that in my life and finally we have calf fries pull up the calf fries picture look at that it looks like a cumulus cloud over beijing you know they have a lot of pollution there doesn't look like or nagasaki you know what calf fries are they're also known known as Rocky Mountain Oasis, which I've had.

They're fucking balls. They're goat balls, calf balls. It says right here, get their start at home on the range when cattle were castrated young. And some horny guy said, let's swallow them balls. What to do with the testicles? Why, fry them up and eat them with gravy, of course. I had a girl try that on me at her house. Let me tell you you never went back uh but you know you know it's a delicious food when you have to lie about the name calf fries fucking goat nuts the gay guys love them they say could you take

the breading off so the skin is shown? Jesus Christ, I got eyebrows like Ed Asner. When did I turn 78? Let's stay in the South, shall we? Here's why I love the culture. You know they're big on guns down. It's the first thing I did when I got down here. I did the most Southern thing you could do. I went to Chick-fil-A with a handgun on my lap. Nobody said shit. It's true. I went to Chick-fil-A with a handgun on my lap. Nobody said shit. It's true. I went to Chick-fil-A. This is how stupid. Moved down here on Easter.

We thought Chick-fil-A would be open on Easter. I mean, their sign is not the Golden Arches. It's like a crucifix. Jesus with a burger in his mouth. But this is true. I go to Chick-fil-A. My wife had never had a Chick-fil-A sandwich, and I'm that kind of husband. I went out of my way almost a minute and a half.

It was a double drive-thru. It was, I don't understand. It was just a drive-thru. There was no, you couldn't go in and order. That must be a Southern thing. I don't know. I know you can get a six-pack out a window here and a handgun. But I go to chick fil a so i get i park i get out of there because they had umbrellas and tables out front so you're

gonna tell me here down south you guys go through the drive-thru and then pull over and get out of your car and sit at the tape why were there tables and fucking umbrellas call me a detective that looks like a there's a walk-up window you can walk up to it and then sit at the table. I couldn't find the walk-up, though. It's right at the front. It's really... Dude, I went to the front. I went to those windows.

I go, this must be where you can... I get up there. You know what I see? The backs of nine black people cooking. And a bunch of boxes stacked. The guy looked at me. He was like, what the fuck are you looking in the window for? But there was no menu.

Could you order from that window? Yeah, that's what... There's two windows in the front for but there was no menu could you order from that window yeah that's what there's two windows in the front and then two on either side oh my god i really fucked up trying first of all we went and go there on easter that was funny but i went twice and the second time i didn't know it was drive-thru i'm on foot cutting through the cars in the drive-thru line they're all people all looking at me look at this yankee fuck but anyways they have my gun with me so they love their guns and if you don't believe me check this out i call this uh pre-K with an A-K.

God bless the South. I've never seen this up North. What gun culture? Who's this guy babysitting El Chapo's kid? Somebody's got a bounty on this baby's head. He stole some paste. That's ammunition for the kid. All right, shut it off. That music makes me want to fuck my sister. Again. That music makes me want to fuck my sister.

Again. Ah, for the love of Pete. Yeah, they love their guns down here. I got a couple. Speaking of guns and crazy white folk in the South, and, well, these fellas are everywhere, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center. KKK, oh, I didn't actually – KKK leader's wife admits to killing her husband. Of course she does.

White power, one, two, three, four. Going down the drain. Going down the drain. We are all at fault now We are all to blame This is my wedding song. All right, enough of that. Oh, that's me. Watch me out, vampire

What are the odds those guys were on meth when they wrote that catchy little tune? There was no weed in that fucking writing room. Billy, give me the needle, please. I gotta write a bridge for this. The wife of a deceased Ku Klux Klan leader in Missouri admitted in court Friday to his 2017 shooting

death after initially saying two years ago that her son was the murderer. Nice fucking mother. Now she says her son didn't help commit the homicide. Here's a picture of the woman who killed her. Look at that beauty. She was Miss Tallahassee in 1984.

That's what you get when the St. Polly's girl fucks a peanut farmer from Atlanta. She thinks that wig and that little bit of pink in her hair is going to get her laid. Got a face like Boss Hogg. Oh, my aching word. Her eyes, look, they're almost on top of each other. But she says her son didn't do it. Melissa, they even spelled that wrong, in Conner, 46, pleaded guilty in St. Francois County Circuit Court in Farmington, Missouri,

to second-degree murder and the death of Frank and Conner Jr., as well as tampering with evidence and the abandonment of a corpse, which they found in her Subaru next to her as she was going through the drive-thru at Chick-fil-A. As part of her plea agreement with the state prosecutor, she was sentenced to life in prison. Ann Kona was 51 when he died in February 2017, was imperial wizard of the traditionalist American Knights of the Ku Klux Klan. Oh, they're good.

Which is believed to have only a few dozen members nationwide, more proof that they hardly exist anymore. I love how Southern Poverty Law Center, ACLU, they're every white supremacy is the problem. Meanwhile, Orange Crush had 7,000 more people in a house. Yeah, so imagine she shot her goddamn son, this fucking psycho. Don't you move, you motherfucker.

I'll blow your brains out. That's her voice. Frank Ancona Jr. was killed by a gunshot wound to the head. A couple gunshot wounds. He was found dead on a bank of the Big River near Belgrave, Missouri, about 70 miles southwest of St. Louis. Originally, Melissa Ancona of Leadwood, Missouri, reported her husband missing. Then she said that her son, Paul Jenkinson, Jr., the stepson of Frank Ancona, killed him while he was sleeping

with a 9mm handgun after he asked for a divorce. But she later changed her tune again in letters from jail. She said she was under the influence of a bad hairdresser. She was under the influence when she made her first statements and instead took the blame for the killing. I fired both shots that killed my husband, she said. And then she sat down and had some spoon bread.

In addition, Ancona admitted in court to cleaning the walls of their bedroom and disposing of bloody bedding and dumping Frank Ancona Jr.'s body near the Belgrade, Missouri. Oh my God. Mama, mama. Bye, bye. Jenkinson 26

facing first degree murder charges and also like Melissa Ancona charges of abandoning a corpse. What are you supposed to stay with it?

That's a fucking charge of abandoning a corpse. He's supposed to sleep with it like most people do up north for a couple weeks. But Melissa Ancona said in court Friday that Jenkinson was not guilty of murder only the other two crimes frank and connor senior that's the dad testified in court that melissa and connor killed his son because

he was going to leave his wife probably she must she must have had the huts for her anyways um that woman is beautiful I don't care what anybody says I'm not into fat shaming or anything look at the permanent frown on her face that's what you get banging the wizard look at that look

that's Artie Lang's mouth that is Artie Lang's mouth I swear to God hey I think that's about it for today ladies and gentlemen I love it down here that is Artie Lang's mouth I swear to God hey uh I think that's about it for today ladies and gentlemen I love it down here so Georgia

if I hurt your feelings making fun of your food and shit I eat it all I love it all I vote like you and uh that's why people up north

never accepted me including my family speaking of that my politics is similar to yours uh if you like this show and I know you do. If you don't, I ain't got nothing to do with you.

I have a one-hour stand-up special entitled A Breath of Fresh Air coming out May 6th. Okay? Here's why you should watch it. Number one, I'm going to put it out there for free. Because you know why? Netflix, you can't find it on Netflix. You won't find it on Amazon. Comedy Central, HBO because you know why netflix you can't find it on netflix you won't find it on amazon comedy central hbo you know why they said it was too dangerous too politically incorrect these anti-free speech cocksuckers uh but yes uh may 6th is coming out a breath of fresh air

and uh if you're free if you're for free speech first amendment comedy you like this type of and i know you do people have had it up to their tits with this PC horse shit. And all the Hollywood people have turned their backs. I'm one of the bad guys. I'm deplorable or whatever. But I've been talking like this for 30 years. I just didn't turn it on because it was expedient to my career success. Obviously, I got an $11 tie on.

We're kidding. So May 6th, A Breath of Fresh Air. If you like it, it's racial, it's religious. You know, it's everything that you won't find on HBO because it's real. And please, please pick it up. It'll be available at, you know, Sunoco Stations and fucking Arby's. I want to thank a lot of people, folks, because this is the first day in the new studio here in Georgia. I I want to thank a lot of people, folks, because this is the first day in the new studio here in Georgia.

I've got to thank a lot of people. First of all, Alpha Graphics did a great job with the backdrop. See that? That was in my house, and somehow they took a file, a computer file, and transferred it. And Bunny Galore, who's been with me since the show began does all kinds of stuff behind the scene josh and dominic from uh southern pool repair they actually put the wrap on the thing built the thing they were out in the parking lot last night literally with

their headlights on working in the dark to get this done for today so we can't thank uh we can't thank those guys josh and dominic, from Southern Pool Repair enough. And Richard Wood, who's been a fan forever, and he lives in this area. He's made phone calls. He helped get this done. We had to have it by today. Other companies weren't going to do it. He knows a lot of people down here.

And he – what? Yes, I'll get to it mom God fucking damn it and he found the studio Jesus Christ OJ, I think you had a point and of course Jason who's down here training the new guys Jason, my producer, who's been

since last July when we started this thanks so much, Jason. And you and your life partner, Kevin, will be happy up in New York writing for a minor league ball. Jay Romanello of I Told You So Productions, he put all the equipment together. Guy's a fucking genius.

I'm like, how long have you been doing this? He goes, about a week. And he figured it all out. And my wife, Andy, who's indispensable to this show, behind the scenes, in front of it, just couldn't do it without her. That's the bottom line. I'd say she's my rock,

but you can't fuck a rock. Listen. And people go to Patreon for the tear changes. I already, I think we recorded this yesterday. If you go to Patreon.com. Is it on NickDip.com too? The instructions are just Patreon.

Hello. That's great. Go to either or and you can find out how to change tiers. We've added another tier and there's a lot of stuff available. And I can't thank you guys enough on Patreon. And for everybody who tuned in today. Remember, folks, you guys have been thinking it for 30 years. I've been saying it.

You're very welcome. I will see you guys on Patreon tomorrow. Take care of yourselves, everybody. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 ¶¶ We'll be right back. I'm out.