The Nick DiPaolo Show - Navarro's Pre-Jail Speech | Nick Di Paolo Show #1533

Episode Date: February 28, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Navarro's injustice, Virginia haters and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Yeah. Look at this. Fucking wrinkles like an old lady's cunt. Oh, for Christ's sake. Really? The top of the show, Pauly? Wasn't it great talking to fucking

John Sacramone? You'll see that next week, folks. It's a good one. He's just, he's one of, he's media. Yeah.

Only, successful in Hollywood, at least. It's funny because I watch The Sopranos Live and I see him on screen and I go, hey, I was fucking just talking with this guy. It's funny because I watch The Sopranos live and I see him on screen. And I go, hey, I was fucking just talking with this guy. He's so good.

Oh, my God. How are you, folks? Yeah, a couple interviews next week. Him and the great Jimmy Florentine. We're having him on and talk about his gig that got canceled and it caused a little bit of a stir. Tommy handles him and a few other guys that all of them got canceled and it caused a little bit of a stir. Tommy handles him and a few other guys that all of them got canceled for some reason.

Well, we know the reason. Faggots in Seattle. And it caused a little bit of a brouhaha amongst his roster. I'm not going to talk out of school, but you can read it in variety. Oh, that was the one last night. Christopher, Christopher, John Favreau came to make a movie.

Christopher was on the set. You're gonna, you a movie maker, you'd eat this one alive. You'd be laughing. Janine Garofalo's in it. And right before they, she's supposed to get killed in a scene

and her friend Sandra Bernhardt, that other, calls her a bitch in the scene, and Janine's character goes, cut, John, can we come up with something? That's not very interesting, or, you know, it's kind of, which is true. And Christopher goes, bukakya. And they go, what?

Of course the director is like a, you can tell she's like a lesbian, short haircut, kind of angry. That's who directs shit like that. And she goes, what? He goes, that one called out when I bukyakya. And they go, okay. They start

rolling it and Favreau goes, what does that mean? He goes, cunt. The look on the face of a lesbian. They didn't miss a trick. They didn't miss a trick. Anyhow, sorry, folks. Let's start with something to make us all feel good. I just saw this clip on X. And, you know, Israel's putting the hammer down and Biden's doing everything he can behind the scenes to stop him, which is so fucking evil to me. I would be over there with pom-poms in front of Bibi going, let's go pick it up. There's three of them left. Well, they took out some high guy, apparently in Hezbozbollah one of those groups doesn't matter the eagle scouts whatever the you guys wanna but it's a nice little clip of him driving down the uh

should i turn this on jesus i'm starting to worry uh oh i didn't give you any text for it anyways uh yeah yeah, so anyways, this is a Hezbollah dude over in the Middle East, and Israel putting the hammer down on him, and it's beautiful. Let her roll. La, la, la, la, la. Oh, doo, la, la, la. Let's take a look at that again. Let me pull over here to the rest area.

It's getting hot in here. Hey, the AC broken? Open up the door. Open up the door. Open up the door. Open up the door. Open up the door. Open up the door. Open up the door. Open up the door. Open up the door. Let me pull over here to the rest area. It's getting hot in here.

Hey, the AC broken? Open a window. Hates Jews. Yeah, not anymore. Hates Jews. Those were some tough Jews. Oh, that was another shrink talking to Tony and his wife. And he goes, you know, we had some black sheep.

It's, I want to say Sidney Pollack. No. I forget. Anyways, he's a well-known actor. If I said his name, you'd know him. But he's been around forever. But he played it so well. Just sitting back with a smug look. He goes, you know, we had some black sheep in my family.

My mother's, whatever, cousin was the wheel man for, he named some fucking mobster. He goes, those were some tough Jews with this weird face. Sorry, folks, I'm ruining the show. All right. I thought we'd open with that. Make us feel good. Now we're going to go to a clip that I've had for a couple days. It was from Peter Navarro.

I call this Injustice for All. Peter Navarro was speaking at CPAC last week before he set to begin a four-month prison sentence after being found guilty of contempt of Congress, which no higher-up executive in any administration has ever been sent to jail for in history. Okay? So he's going to explain the parallels between how they're treating him and Trump.

And I thought it was pretty interesting. We had him on the show before. He was great. He went to Harvard. Super smart. But he's got personality. He's got balls. And I fell in love with him about a month into the administration when Trump, when they

would talk business, he'd go on those Sunday morning shows and straighten these motherfuckers. I'd go, who is this guy? But this is him. Pretend he's Henry Hill. Take me to jail. That scene. This is before. But here's him speaking at CPAC. This thing, lawfare, partisan politics by weaponized justice means. Look at what's going on. Democrats, Biden, Garland and Smith, Bragg, James and Willis, Biden, Garland, and Smith, Bragg, James, and Willis, and a sizable chunk of the radical wing of the Democrat Party,

not only want to stop Republican Donald Trump from retaking the White House, they want this presidential titan, and I was there when he was that titan, a providential titan who kept our nation in prosperity and out of war for four beautiful years. They want him to die cruelly in prison. Pause. Whoops, what am I doing? I tried to pause the picture with this. Fucking lost it. Yeah, that's what they want.

If you add up all the charges and you get convicted, I'm 700 years in jail. For a guy who he just described. It is fucking creepy. Go ahead, Pete. Sorry to interrupt. We must face that reality. If you don't believe they may well succeed, just look at my own situation.

As I stand before you on this stage, there's a former high-ranking Trump official now just weeks away from a prison cell. The parallels between my own and Trump's case are indeed striking. I am the first, the first senior White House advisor ever convicted of contempt of Congress. Trump is the first former president ever, ever to be criminally indicted huh i was put in leg irons by armed fbi agents who far more easily could have asked for my voluntary surrender hitler's henchmen the target of an equally unnecessary armed fbi raid on mar-a-lago i was in but trump is the danger to democracy he's going to be the dictator. But we live on the same planet.

They can't believe that. They're just evil. And if they don't believe it, it just makes them evil. Go ahead. Indicted by the Biden-Garland Department of Justice despite a more than 50-year policy against compelled congressional testimony by senior White House officials like me. DOJ's hypocrite prosecutors would falsely argue to my jury that I had acted above the law when they knew damn well I was simply honoring the Constitution, fulfilling my oath of office, and obeying the law, the Department of Justice's own

Office of Legal Counsel had long articulated and supported. Now, here's the deal. Listen carefully. Trump likewise faces a dizzying array of charges, more than 700 years in prison based on equally novel and baseless applications of laws and statutes that have been tortured and twisted by partisan prosecutors. Then there is this. You must know this. Every single major actor in the prosecutions of both me and Trump are what? Democrats.

Democrats. Yet the Democrats and their useful partisan idiots in the legacy media, aka the fake news, want you to believe our prosecutions are not political. No, nothing to see here. In my case, a Democrat House majority held me in contempt on an overwhelmingly partisan vote. A Democrat-controlled Department of Justice indicted and prosecuted me, a heavily skewed Democrat jury right here in the District of Columbia featuring members who had expressed anti-Trump sentiments and voir dire convicted me. Trump, similarly, has been indicted solely by Democrats. Here's the deal. The probability of the former president getting a jury

broadly reflective of the American electorate is near zero in the bluest of blue cities of where? Washington, D.C., Manhattan, and Atlanta. Okay. Does that spell it out for you?

Let me ask you a question. How come Republicans, you go back in history, they haven't tried something that partisan? Or have they? And I'm not aware of it. No, you fuckers are fucking power-hungry mad. And I know we have a lot of jerk-offs in the Republican Party to the point where I don't want to be Republican anymore.

Because, you know, they couldn't even impeach Mayorkas. Agree on that, you know. Oh, they'll impeach my orcas agree on that you know oh they'll do it all the time if we imagine this guy so trump's the first president and he's the first you know high sitting executive in administration to go to jail for being like he said they passed a law i can't compel you to testify before Congress. But they made him because he ignored the subpoena. They're going to send him to jail. Un-fucking-real. It's all part of the plan.

Yes, it is. Peter, four months. You can do that standing on your head. He was the best guy around. Now take me to jail. Hey, second half of the show, I'll be telling you about a school that's had enough of fag flags.

That's my phrase. I put on it. But it's good. People are starting to stand up a little bit. It's only taken, I got into comedy in 87. And we were complaining about PC shit then. So it started before then.

But now it's, that's how long it's going to take for people to sit up in those. Also, you better get to the airport early at certain airports. They're telling you to get there two hours early.

Why? Because of weather and shit? No, because they might give you a seat to a fucking illegal. Think about that. Let that settle in. They're trying to start a pissing marriage. Are they

not? They couldn't do more shit to piss us off. If that ever happened, I would get the nearest lesbian flight attendant or homo and get them in a headlock and cause all kinds of shit and go viral and finally get that special.

Can you imagine? Oh, we have a clip, right? Wait, what am I doing? Oh, I'm just plugging that. Again, I did my sleep thing and I looked at it. It said I was awake an hour and a half in the middle of the night, which sounds about right. And look at the fucking, I'm dying, folks. I don't know what's going on. Anyways, if you want to hear those stories, they're exclusively where, folks? On Mug Club.

Well, where do you sign up for that? NickDip.com. NickDip.com. Mug Club. Aye? Aye. Hey, boys and girls, head over to NickDip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more.

It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nicker shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com. Click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. What are we on to?

Virginia is for haters? Danica Rome. Danica. That's Dan, I'm sure, with an Ica on it. And there he is, point guard. Power forward. Look at the fucking Lily Munster hair and the fucking Herman Munster face with Bill M. Bayer's shoulders.

Danica Rome, a transgender state senator. What? How? Who voted? Who voted for her? It's like I'm watching American Idol. Yes, I know. You can make fun of me.

I go to my wife. Hey, where's the tranny coming? It's been almost two episodes. On cue. Guy comes out who I still don't know what he is. I almost give him credit because I can't tell if he's a man or he's got the prettiest mouth I've ever seen. I don't know what it is, but he's got blue hair and pink hair and deserves to be smacked around. Only because we live in a hateful world. Again,

I'm not condoning it, but don't fucking bring it on to yourself. You know what I'm saying? That's like you wander into the chicken wing place here in Savannah. It's all black people. You go in with a hood on and be surprised you got the shit kicked out of you. You're like Christopher Moltisanti in that episode. He's up in Harlem in a black chicken place.

He goes, hey, fucking Hairnet Central. What am I, Mark Furman back here? Then he goes, hey, who's welfare? Check, do I got a cash to get some service? And all you hear is, you're a fucking dick, man. Anyways, that's Danica Rome. Be proud, folks. A transgender state senator who identifies as a woman.

Yeah, you keep identifying. Stormed out of Virginia State legislative session. Why? Because he's a pussy. After Lieutenant Governor Winsome Sears, isn't this woman one that we liked? It is, right? She's real smart. And I said, she'd actually be good on the ticket like a year ago. Winsome Sears referred to Rome as sir. And Mrs. Sears said, Stop getting cunty. Sears offered an apology, but Marshalls didn't.

Good night, everybody. For the incident later in the session, though she did not specifically apologize for referring to Rome by the lawmaker's biological gender,

and God bless her for it. This woman is great. She was back in Trump a couple when Trump was in office and loved what he was doing and stuff. She's really smart and one of the good ones. What? You heard me. I'll show the video of what goes down here. This is the senator from Prince William Rise. Madam President, rise for parliamentary inquiry. The senator stated how many votes it takes who has this bill with the emergency clause.

That would be four fifths, Senator. And what would be the exact number for that, Madam President? Yes, sir. That would be 32. Your son looks like a fag to me. The question is, shall the bill pass? Look, she's steaming out. I said something that upset Senator Rome. to me. The question is, shall the bill pass? She's steaming out. I said something that upset Senator Rome.

Let it be known. Pause one sec. If she was just a dumb broad, you know, a Democrat who slipped up, but this woman knows what she was doing. I think. And I'm not what she was doing. I think.

And I'm not saying she was trying to be mean. I'm just saying she was letting people know, I'm not dumb. I think. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she did just slip up. I would have called him sir, too. But he did.

Here's her apology. I'm not here to upset anyone. I am here to do the job that the people of Virginia have called me to do, and that is to treat everyone with respect and dignity. I myself have at times not been afforded that same respect and dignity, but in this body, and as long as I am president of the Senate, and by the grace of God, I will be treated with respect and dignity, and I will treat everyone else with respect and dignity. Yeah, but what about respect and dignity? Yes, sir. Look at this putz.

Aye, aye, sir. Look at this putz. Aye, aye, aye. So she stormed out like, you know, you guys bring it on yourself. It's not enough that, you know, you're a little loopy. I'm sorry. No, I'm not saying they're all mentally ill, but, you know,

if you're going to throw me into a basket of deplorals, I'm going to throw you into a basket of fucknuts. That's right. That's a medical term. I'm gonna throw you into a basket of fucknuts. That's right, that's a medical term, I looked it up. Fuck it. Let's go on to more PC shit that'll make your blood burl, as Archie would say. Whitewashing the truth. It could have been reverse the erases, but we already got one of those today. So I went whitewashing the truth. And this has been going on in TV forever. This is why my dad was a genius. He was pointing this shit out in the 80s.

And I'm sure anybody watching that doesn't like me will go, oh, that's why he's a racist. No, my dad would just never let anybody pull anything over his eyes. He wasn't a fucking dummy. He would watch commercials and go, look how the white guys dress. Look how the black guys dress. And then I started to notice. And then my mother was giving the bird to the TV.

The whole family got fucking nuts. And we were picketing. A social media post from the FBI, and this one made me laugh. I've been complaining about those security companies for years, their commercials. A post from the FBI was roundly mocked and ridiculed online after it added an image of white women to a report about retail theft rings in the United States. Can you fucking look? Not only two white women, two, look, they got her putting something in her coat. Two hot white women.

And here, can I just tell you, here's the left's mentality. So what are you saying, white women don't, but that's what they come out with everything. And your answer to that is, folks, I'm going to teach you how to argue and go, yeah, for every one Winona Ryder, there's about, I would say, I'm not exaggerating. You can do the statistics.

I'd say about 20,000 black chicks who loot and smash and grab. So don't bring up, can you, making this to be the fucking rule and not the exception is, they've been doing it forever. The AT, what's the security company, AT, fuckface, AT? ATD, you're right. Yeah, ATD. I had a bit, my album, Jesus I'm jumpy I thought that was tipping over I'm hallucinating uh I had a bit in one of my albums how long ago about the fucking

I go they picked the whitest guy breaking into the house apparently I go Ed Begley Jr. isn't getting his royalty checks anymore from St elsewhere. So he's cat-burned. Anyways, higher prices. Listen to this. Dangerous products and closing businesses. These are just some of the impacts organized retail theft, like these hot Karens have caused, has on everyday Americans, read the post. The media is just fucking sickening.

Criticism of the post on social media. Here's the difference now. Because Elon Musk owns X, people can go to that community notes thing and go, hey, go fuck yourself and not get blocked. Criticism of the post on social media focused on the race of the two women in the friggin image. Hey, where are the white women at? Oh, they're smashing and grabbing. Yes, folks, our FBI would like you to know that there's an... These are comments from people making fun of them, right? The posts.

Yes, folks, our FBI would like you to know that there's an epidemic of rich, young, attractive white women ransacking retail outlets. They're passing something called a Karen law. No, Karens are older and ugly. How are they getting away with this lawlessness? This must be stopped, responded John Ziegler, who's actually a well-known guy. This picture is so conspicuously inaccurate, you have to just marvel at our federal government humiliating itself just to avoid offending Democrats. And that's exactly what it is, replied Joe Gabriel Simonson of the Free Beacon. Oh, it is. Mobs of white

women descending upon CVS are why it's harder to buy deodorant, joked Sam Mangold-Lennett of the Federalist. And please tell me you guys noticed this shit years ago, because it's been going on for a thousand, ever since the alarm companies came out. Oh, my God. They had one with Cindy Brady raping a, kicking in the window of a fucking whatever, filling the funny.

I'm drinking coffee. Do you believe that shit? Do you fucking believe it? Yeah, reverse it. It's like NASA putting up a commercial and showing two black astronauts walking on the moon and going they figured it out you had nothing to do with it whitey it's that insane nick oh shut it these guys agree with me why am i yelling at him well it's my nature hey uh for those of you guys in Mug Club, stick around the second half of my show.

Everyone else, go to nickdip.com and join Mug Club to get my full show, Steven Crowder's full show, and a whole lot more. And while you're there, click on the tour button. I've been pushing this date forever

because we booked it a long time ago. We've broken the 500 mark, by the way. May 11th, Count Basie Theater, Red Bank, New Jersey. I will hopefully do a few gigs before that, so you guys won't get buried in rust. But I've had some of my best shows when I haven't been on in a while, but this is the longest I've ever gone, because I needed a break from this shit. I won't take all that they hand me down and make out I smile though I wear a frown

and I'm not gonna take it all lying down Cause once I get started I go to town Cause I'm not like everybody else, no no I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else And I don't wanna live my life like everybody else

And I don't wanna be destroyed like everybody else And I don't wanna get a job like everybody else Cause I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else