The Nick DiPaolo Show - Nazi My Tuchus! | Nick Di Paolo Show #1645

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Trump NOT a Nazi, Kelly all about the green, Victoria's dirty secret and more! Support the show and get a FREE $20 credit to the first 500 to sign up at https://www.kalshi.com/DIPAOLO Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! SEE NICK LIVE: 11/9/24 – Bridge View Center Theater – Ottumwa, IA 2/20/2025 -- Bricktown Comedy Club – Tulsa, OK TIX:  https://www.nickdip.com/tour  For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

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Ontario I'm gonna be a good boy. You're entitled to shit. Okay I have, let me see, four, five times, 25 sound drops, right? 25, I hit the one that doesn't work. Oh, 24 of them work, I just went like that. Which is how my week went with the NFL, you know, I play in that stupid pool, right? There were 16 games, I had three right. I've been playing this thing for 15 more,

but maybe 20 years, the worst I've ever done was a four. Just to give you an idea real quick not that you guys give a fuck this is why you don't gamble real money or I don't anymore. I somehow picked I don't know why I've been on the commanders because they did good actually Washington is pretty good this year with the fucking Heisman quarterback. I've been on them all season. In some reason I'm looking at my picks, they're locked in and I got the Bears and I'm giving Washington point. I go I must have hit it by accident. I'm like what the fuck. So I'm angry. End of the game comes. So I got the Bears giving two and a half. They're down by whatever.

They're on the one yard line of Washington about to go in to cover for me. They hand off to a lineman in the backfield. He fumbles. Washington recovers. I'm going, you got to be shitting me. You got to be shitting. Washington punts. Friggin' Bears drive down again with only a few minutes left and they score but they have to get the two the two-point convertible this is never gonna fuck they get the two-point conversion now there's under a minute left I'm like I can't believe I picked the wrong team by accident but I'm gonna win last play of the game two seconds left now the clocks at zero what's his name Jayden Daniels whatever is fuck he's scrambling around for five minutes Last play of the game, two seconds left. Now the clock's at zero. What's his name?

Jaden Daniels, whatever his fuck. He's scrambling around for five minutes. Throws a Hail Mary full of grace. Fucking tips into the guy like it was fucking Jesus. And that's the type of, every time I change the channel this Sunday, and I know again, I'm not betting big money anymore or whatever, but it's just the fact how can you be wrong 13 out of 16 times on something that's a 50-50 bet do you see what I'm saying I blame the

Jews I don't folks that's a joke you know I defend them all the time it's always good you're looking at the pool standing your mother's in front of you, 12 year old girl who's retarded. Yeah those are the people who win. There's one whose name is Grammy. Apparently she's a fucking 4-3 she was a coordinator apparently for the Texans. Oh my aching ass. Speaking of aching ass that's the headline of the first story. I gotta get out of here because I have a thing with a bunch of lawyers, you know, grown-up crap. I won't get into it because it could affect the deal. Oh, I have to look up there. Headline, Nazi Mike Tookus. The Jewish people will appreciate that.

Get a sense of yourself. That's pretty aggressive. Took, yeah, that was, that's over the top. I should have saved that for the second half of the show. Took us. That's Yiddish for ass. I was very proud of that. A major satmar group of ultra-orthodox,

Hasidic Jews in New York officially endorsed Former president Donald Trump on Monday for president which proves he's Hitler right because that's what Orthodox Jews would do They'd vote a guy who they think is Hitler. I Mean again, I would just like to say that the enemy out there voting Waltz Harrison go explain that one away to me You can't by the way on the way here to work this morning I went by a corner of about 40 30 40 people with Waltz Harris sign so I leaned on the horn gave him the Bertarini Real I slowed down

And as I'm going I look in the fucking like the right side rev you mirror, and I see like three people going like this to me I bring love wherever I go like the right side rev you mirror and I see like three people going like this to me. I bring love wherever I go. Can you imagine? I can't even. Anyways, he endorsed them despite Democrat claims that you know Trump is Nazi. This was at the Madison Square Garden on Sunday. Israel's Aroot Sheba reported the endorsement on Monday under the headline, Kamala Harris is bad for Jews. Hates Jews. Hates Jews. It's bad for Jews. Kamala is bad for Jews this she's the equivalent of like a high sodium diet for Jews and that's a caper I just ruined it by saying that

she's not kosher she's not she ain't kosher grand rabbi Aaron a title bomb sap mar Hasidic sect in New York he's one of the heads of the Hasidic sake also by the way my agent Morris, a couple years ago, has announced that it will officially support former US president Donald Trump's candidacy for US president, and when he told people that, they're like, Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you! you. He's like, the decision follows a set of discussions by the SACMAR leadership due to concerns that US Vice President Kamala Harris may pose a threat to the Jewish people if she is elected president. Of course she's got, I mean she wouldn't pick Shapiro, the guy from Pennsylvania, I bet she's kicking herself

in the ass over that. No, she picked Tim Waltz that manly fella Takes 40 minutes to load a shotgun. He was a good soldier though Joel a title bomb was rescued from the Nazis this guy was rescued from the nots and he's voting for Trump So there goes your whole Trump is Hitler for the last 10 years another faction of the a Sarah Mar group Hitler for the last 10 years. Another faction of the Asertmar group is also expected to endorse Trump. Eric Trump recently met with both factions, according to a report by VIN News, which I get all the time. As Breitbart News noted, the Harris campaign claims Sunday that Trump was trying to, get this, reenact a Nazi rally from February of 1939 based on the simple fact that the

two events are being held in similar, not the same, buildings. Let me tell you something. That Nazi rally in 1939 is not the most vulgar thing that ever happened about us in Square Garden. I'd say the last 25 years of the New York Knicks would take the cake on that one. Harris reiterated the claim herself on Monday when prompted by a sympathetic reporter to condemn the Nazi rally. Watch your CNN guy serve up a softball right down the middle to this clut. And like Dallas said, talk about a loaded question.

It's just they don't even pretend anymore. They're not journalists. They're advocates. It's it's disgusting how CNN is still on the air. Anyways, here's the CNN ask kisser asking a very difficult question to stupid. Follow up to your remarks about President Trump's rally last night. Some people who watched that made comparisons between a rally that happened at Madison Square

Garden in 1939 with neo-nazis or Nazis back then. Do you see those comparisons and can you also expand on what he said and what you said yesterday about Puerto Rico. Donald Trump has, this is not new about him, by the way, what he did last night is not a discovery. It is just more of the same and maybe more vivid than usual. Donald Trump spends full time trying to have Americans point their finger at each other, fans, the fuel of hate and division. And that's why people are exhausted with him.

That's why people are exhausted with him. You fucking hypocrite. Donald Trump tried to divide the country. Not you and your boss for the last four years, labeling half of America domestic terrorists, dividing families, having given the thumbs up to teachers who are teaching kids about sexuality instead of their parents, calling all white people racist, you defending people beating up Jewish kids on campus. That unites, though.

This broad. The Hasidic endorsement for Trump came just hours before second gentleman Doug Emhoff, who has newly discovered the relevance of his Jewish identity, was to deliver a closing argument against Trump on anti-Semitism. But I think the Jews there they're it's amazing what's happened Trump is bringing people together you would never never thought and the Jews are very excited we have footage to prove it

I'm sorry that was the Fed. They changed some rules. Oh come on folks. It was beautiful man. So yeah he's bringing it's isn't it funny. He's the uniter Trump. Think about what they've been saying him about the the last eight years, being a Russian agent, being the most racist, find people on boats, all that horse shit, the most racist president ever,

all that crap, excuse me, cigarettes, all that crap. And there were literally Hasidic Jews at the rally on Sunday and people, Muslim with the scarfs and stuff. Just let that sink in And every poll still in the headlines in the mainstream media says it's a 50-50 toss-up I'm gonna say it again. I've said it the last five shows They are preparing you so when they steal it they're gonna go what are you talking about the poll said it was neck-and-neck why is this a big shock to you that she won if they steal it but that's why they're doing it

because there's no way in hell there's real polls like polymarket okay that's what people actually put their own money on the line that has Trump at 66% crushing her anyhow and it doesn't help that he had people like this in his first administration Trump did the headline is Kelly all about the green Kelly green vice president Kamala Harris said that she believes that a that Donald Trump is a fascist. Wow, did you come up with that one on your own, sweetie? Make me a corn muffin and some coffee and iron my shirts. Good night, everybody. I had a good career.

Harris seized on comments by former Chief of Staff John Kelly, a retired Marine Corps general and traitor and ass wipe, about his former boss in interviews with New York Times in the Atlantic, published Tuesday, warning that the Republican nominee meets the definition of a fascist and that Trump. How is he considered a fascist? They were trying to lock Trump up on fake charges. They flew people and illegals in planes overnight and landed them. They censor conservatives on the internet and in the news, but they were, but the right of the fascists.

I'm sick of pointing this shit out. I'm gonna redo this show next year. Once this is over, we're going to talk about fucking football dicks and good pizza. Three things I like not in that order. Well, an office suggested the Nazi leader did some good things. They're saying Trump said that. A lot of people have said that, by the way. I don't think Trump has said it.

But again, give me the audio. Show me't think Trump has said, but again, show me the, give me the audio, show me the clip where he said it. Well, this clip will explain to you, he might have said what? I'm so excited. Well, this clip will explain to you why he might have said such bullshit. Excuse me, meaning Kelly. This out so general John Kelly, who suddenly tells us that Trump admires Hitler, Trump admires Hitler's generals, Trump says Hitler did some good things, according to general John Kelly. Is the general telling the truth? Or could there be something

else motivating these comments? Well it turns out, and you just do a little bit of digging, General John Kelly sits on the board of the company that operates the biggest migrant shelter for unaccompanied children who are coming over the border without parents or guardians. That company is called DC Capital Partners and they own two other companies called Acuity International and the other one is called Valiant's Humanitarian. Yes, and you know what they get? Massive contracts, no bid, meaning they don't have to bid against other companies from the government. So now if Trump is about to be elected and you know he's going to close the border down and that means all those unaccompanied minors and children who don't have their family with them or parents It's possible that General Kelly isn't too excited because his shelters won't be filled up with unaccompanied migrant children Which means those giant contracts could go away

Mr. Kelly, and I'll tell you another thing. Frankly, you're beginning to smell. Understand that, Trader Kelly? That's a military guy, former military guy, involved in government contracts. That's how like communism works. Marxism, social, whatever you want to call it. That's how it works. money that's earmarked for good shit and they scoop off the top you might as well be fucking working for Hamas scoop off the top they take a majority like I said take a majority they scoop from the middle no isn't a fucking debate here but it's a good point I know it's a fucking eight slices I'll take six they're real pigs is what I'm

trying to say anyhow yeah so that's the good thing about this second term for Trump I think he's gonna win again we're not gonna know for six months with all the crap that's gonna happen after but I'm just saying he's got people around him now he didn't know he was a novel to politics when he first got in and he had rats like him under him anyhow hey do you guys think you know who'll win the presidential election or how many seats the democrats or republicans will win in congress want to put some money on it thanks to today's sponsor, Kelshe, you can. Kelshe is the first legal exchange available in all 50 states where you can bet on any event, including the elections. Kelshe has marks on who will win the presidential election, the Rotten Tomatoes score of Gladiator

2 even, how many launches will SpaceX have this year. I'd like to, I think I'm going to lay some stuff on, I want to put it down on Trump, but you know you never know, but that's you want to be in the action. That's what's fun. And sporting events, I don't jump on the Dodgers right now. I think it's a safe bet, you won't get good odds. Anyways, it's just like buying stocks. The more buy the bigger the payout if you're right right now Trump and Kamala Are trading about 50-50 meaning if you place a bet on either you will double your money if they end up winning Kalshi has already facilitated over 1 billion dollars worth of trades So put your money where your mouth is and sign up using my link Kalshi.com slash depalo.

The first 500 listeners who deposit $100 will get a free $20 credit. That's k-a-l-s-h-i dot com slash depalo, d-i-p, it's spelled wrong here, which one's right? D-i-p-a-o-l-o. And if that doesn't work, take the O out, the first one. But anyway, I know how to spell my name. Or click the link in our show notes and the first 500 traders who deposit $100 will get a free $20 credit. Cal-She, you can trade on that. We thank them for sponsoring the show today everybody. Don't, I have a lot of nerve after the picks I made. I can't wait to redeem myself with a five this week. Anyways, let's move on to Victorious Dirty Secrets.

The Victorious Secret Annual Fashion show used to be a highly anticipated event between the elaborate costumes, celebrity singers. Yeah, that's why it was a big event because Lizzo brought her fat, stunning models and high profile guest list. The show drew millions of viewers from all over the world and then enter wokeness which destroys everything it touches and its path. In 2018 the lingerie company jettisoned the uber sexiness that long defined its brand and adopted a more artsy approach to stand in solidarity with the hashtag me too movement. Do you remember that? Remember how much that ruined everything that men liked? I don't mean rape, obviously. That came out wrong, but come on. Even Liberace would go, yummy. Then in 2021, Victoria's Secret replaced the iconic angels with the um... iron curtain from the seventy five steelers

look at that you're gonna tell me that's not me and joe greens legs anyways replace the iconic angels with a group of varied models and influences to show their commitment to diversity and inclusivity. There you go. Look at it, it's like a MyPillow commercial. Last year, you're marking that, right? Yeah.

That. Last year, the fashion show was replaced with a strange pseudo-documentary featuring little femininity but lots of diversity, including a Nigerian artist, thank God, who recited poetry. That's what I want when I'm breaking out the hand-jurgens illusion.

And now for the cherry on top, this year, the fashion show, which just returned after a six-year hiatus, included two transgender models. There they are, Valentina Sempeo and Alex Consani, two biological males posing as women strutted down the runway and full-blown lingerie Stu displays the pictures of the two models but says he's afraid to look too close for fear of whatever might be going on down there. I've got to tell you, I don't know if it's your Zepik messing up my eyes, but don't look bad from here. That's what I don't get. Do they still have male? Who knows? That's right.

Some people will give you a straight answer. And I'm like, what, did you sleep with them last night? It's all guesswork from here, least for me they look pretty good I don't mean to offend anybody it's the first half of the show I'm doing the best I can you gotta watch out they're very sensitive for these people anyways for those of you on Mug Club right now stick around for the second half of this show the rest you gotta go bye bye unless you go to nickdip.com and you click whatever you sign up for Mug Club at nickdip.com and you'll get my entire show. Stephen Crowder's entire show. Alex Jones pops in and out. Stephen has great guests all the times. I'm

talking high-profile people. They have the undercover team that breaks national stories. It's a great channel and while you're at nickdip.com, click on the tour button, you'll see November 9th, which is right around the corner. I'll be at the Bridgeview Center Theater in Atomwa, Iowa. That's a few days after I get back from Dallas. And also, February 20th of 2025, I'll be at the Brick Town Comedy Club in Tulsa, Oklahoma. And I hear good things. I'm hearing good things about that. So hope to see you out there.

Second half of the show, I'm going to tell you about Kamala Harris. She must be desperate. You won't believe the group she's trying to get the vote for her, but it involves pornography. That's all you need to know in Youngfellas. That rules out Tim Walz. Delicious. Delicious. Also Jeopardy got in a bit of hot water over nothing.

But apparently it could have been offensive to one of the women that was on the show. We'll show you a clip of that and see how sad this country is. I cannot wait for, please Trump get in. I can't take it no more. Hi, good night everybody. Oh, yeah Thanks for watching!