The Nick DiPaolo Show - Nick’s Bitchin’ Kitchen: Pasta Fagioli | Nick Di Paolo Show #1708

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

In this episode Nick makes Pasta Fagioli!  To watch FULL EPISODES and get ALL RUMBLE PREMIUM content AD FREE, join by clicking the link below, then the red RUMBLE PREMIUM button – enter Promo Code MUGCLUB and get $10 off an annual subscription! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow/exclusive MERCH - https://shop.nickdip.com/ TOUR DATES AND MORE - https://nickdip.com 4/25/2025 - Cohoes Music Hall, Cohoes, NY 5/15-16/2025 - Zanies, Rosemont, IL SOCIALS -   https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

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I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy.

I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, another episode of Bitch in Kitchen. Haven't done one in a while. And heard you guys crying out online going feed me bitch today pasta fagioli fagioli is bean in Italian somehow fagioli turned into pasta fazul f-a-z-o-o-l it got American slash Italianized. But my father, I used to say pasta fazul, but fagioli is, you know, fag with the eoli on it. Italian fag.

And that's what, and this is in my top five favorite. I haven't made in a while. As far as the amount, let me show you what the ingredients are, right? I got a pound and as far as the amounts go, I sort of almost doubled what was in the original recipe. This guy, this couple used to go, my parents met him on a trip to Italy and they were from Connecticut, so they sort of stayed in touch. This guy gave my mother this recipe, which she gave it to me. It's in my top five, not top three but hot Italian sausage bulk

or you can buy the sausage itself and split the casing if you whatever if you can't find this. I use a whole pound of it. Diced tomatoes calls for like 28 ounces of diced tomatoes which I have here. Chicken stock I don't know I sort of eye this stuff. It's like four to five cups maybe. And this is the ideal pasta, but you can use any small pasta. This is Diddle-lini or as the WAP say, Diddle-lini. It's tiny little Russian oil pipeline gaskets. I have a cup of tomato sauce, regular tomato sauce. Again, I sort of play with it.

I might use this, I might not. And as far as the beans go, 99% of the recipes say cannellini beans or northern navy, you know, the white ones that come in a can. I like these. These are called butter beans. They look like fava beans, which is what my grandmother used to use out of her garden. And of course you make the pasta by hand and shit. But these, it's like a kidney. It's

got some weight to it. It's delicious. Onion, of course, as always. Start with onion and minced garlic. Of course, if you get nervous in front of the camera. Let's go. That's it, those are the ingredients. Fuck it. I got stuff to do, so. Crowder and gut fell semi, like an extra assignment. So, get this hot. Get your olive oil here.

You start with this obviously. Most of these recipes start the same. You cook the fat or the meat, whatever it is, and you cook the... Oh, another thing. In Italy it's more of a soup consistency to it depends what part of Italy again every region has a different American eyes it got a little thicker almost like pasta with beans with the sauce but you don't want it that thick so what you do is I'm gonna puree these in chicken stock. That gives the gives it some some body instead of just brothy but you can do it either way. God do I sound gay. Anyways, uh yeah. Brothy. Oh it's like breathy, only beretti. Okay, where's my sticks? I gave the wife this on

the ass last night. She wasn't bad, she just asked for it. What? You heard me. All right. Look what I found under the, we put this in the rats thing upstairs. $80 Gorgonzola gets them every time. They're Italian rats apparently. Expensive rats. That's right, they have good taste up there. Let's see. Shy fog in it.

Just a quick hit of that because obviously the sausage has enough fat in it, but just to get it going. You guys know, I wash my hands impeccably clean. Then I took a runny dump. You know kids, back in the, what? Yep. I think Gianna just threw up in her mouth. That's Dallas' wife back there, who's about to have a baby soon.

She looks like the women you see on a jar of tomato sauce right in the middle. You know what I'm saying? That's a compliment by the way. They're always holding tomatoes. So yeah, over medium high heat you're going to brown this here stuff. Probably take you 8 to 10 minutes I would think. I usually do it in batches but I don't have time today. I got a lot of shit to do after this.

And again, some recipes call for a half a pound. I kinda, like I said, I went heavy on all the recipes to make more. The wife will have something to survive on when I'm in Dallas. Other than her boyfriend's donuts. You know what I'm saying? What? Terrell Suggs. That's right.

He called yesterday. Said, Mr. Suggs, what up? Yeah, I'm leaving. Relax. Did you know my wife was seeing Terrell Suggs for the last decade? My favorite joke, I don't know why. If there was a black dude that would scare the shit out of anybody, it's Terrell Suggs. Alright, probably 8 to 10 minutes and then we'll come back and throw the onions in there. Alright you guys take a break at home.

Alright this took about 5 to 7 minutes to brown this. Just do it until all the paint's gone. That's all. Unless you hate the people who have in over-leather paint. Give them the shits for the next two months. Why do you go there all the time? I don't know. Fuck off. Then you're going to take this out, put it aside, right? Your brown Sazeech. Make it brown, not gray. Important part. Can you get in there? Yeah.

I heard that in a point one. Folks, how are you? Welcome to the... Folks, how are you? Welcome to the... All right, put that off to the side. Next step. Well, let me cut the onions. I didn't chop them ahead of time. It makes it look like a cooking show. Even though they have 19 kids doing this at the culinary institute. Cola, cola. They're opening one here. Andy was reading about it yesterday. They've been working on it for two years for like where college kids are going to be cooking. Yeah, like a culinary place and you can there's like 75 seats you can go in and watch through the glass.

Yeah, yeah, some of it and they, yeah, that's very Savannah. I thought they would already have had something. Very fine chop. A lot of these really authentic recipes use, in Italy they use carrot and celery and all that shit. I don't find it necessary, especially when I'm in a hurry. I don't know, you want about a cup, cup and a half. Again, quack, quack. I love, that's Dallas' rim shot. It's a penguin. It's a penguin from Superman. That's an Alabama rim shot we call it. My peepee! That looks about right, right Dallas?

You know. I love onion. Onion is the base for everything that's good. I put it in my fentanyl. You know kids. I didn't turn the stove on, did I? Get this hot again. This will pick up all the brown shit on the bottom of the pan too.

They call that fond in France. I don't know why. Probably because they're gay. You know what? I want a little more. Just a tad. Looking for the ultimate online casino experience? Step into the BedMGM Casino app, where every deal, spin and goal brings Las Vegas excitement into the palm of your hand.

Take your seat at Premium Blackjack Pro, where strategy meets top-tier gameplay. Drop in on the exciting Sugar Rush and Crazy Time slot games or play the dazzling MGM Grand Emerald Knights, a slot experience that captures the magic of MGM. With so many games, it's time to make your move. Download the app and visit BetMGM Ontario today to experience the next level of gaming. Visit BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling

or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Hi. This, see it picking up all the branch. You want it to control tomato paste in there. Again this is a very loose recipe.

Hit it with a little olive oil. You want to sweat that out so hit it with some salt though. Draws the water out of it. How do you know this Nick? Well I was a comedian then. I had no career when I was in LA and I watched the Food Network in 1900. While preparing for one line on Suddenly Susan. I'm turning the line now. I knock the shit out of that line. Even Brooke comes up and

goes, have you done this much? The line was, you know, we were moving. We were movers. For some reason we were moving stuff in her house, bringing in furniture. And as we're leaving, I'm the last one out the door, we got those jumper suits on, you know. I go, she's standing, she's saying bye to us as we're leaving I'm the last one out the door we got those jumper suits on you know I Go, uh, she's standing. She's saying bite it about as we're filing. I go you're out of salami. It's my big one Oh man, I got letters they were talking Emmy for a while I go hey really I go you don't have to I do this shit all the time Oh mama. Anytime people say it smells good, this is what you're smelling.

You know it, I know it. Alright garlic of course. Called for four, I went with six. Little tip about garlic, it only stinks in your breath if you eat it raw. A lot of people don't know that. We learned that on a different scale over the course of hours. Bite it like an apple? Yeah. A lot of Italians do that.

I know what you're talking about. I don't even know what comes next folks, that's what I'm telling you. Don't get nervous. I forgot the first step. Well, we can do it. You puree the beans first, then they'll already be ready at this point. But I was so nervous because like I said, we have some people from the Weather Channel here to see us. I don't know why. All right, it's a little fucking hot, Nick. Don't ever burn the garlic, you're gonna have to start over because it make a bit of taste in your dish. All right, meat back in. Alright, meat back in. I guess.

I haven't done this in a long time. And again, you guys can start with onion, carrot and celery like a lot of people do, but alright. but all right put that on low. Let's do this which I was supposed to open with actually. I used uh, shit, four cans you know they're like 14 ounces each of, I'm using butter bean, but like I said, cannelloni, cannelloni, cannelloni beans, a lot of people use. So you put that Cup or two, doesn't really matter. Looks like two cups probably. This is what I do. So I have a total of four cans, they're like 14 ounces each of butter beans.

I put two cans in here. I put in maybe a cup and a half, two cups of chicken stock. I'm gonna puree this. Nice. That gives the soup a little body and bean flavor throughout the thing. I don't know how people don't always use that. Let's go back to the meat and onion mixture. Calls for two cans of chopped or diced tomatoes, two 14-ounce cans. This is one 28-ounce can. like chopped or diced tomatoes two 14 ounce cans this is 128 ounce can you do the math you see in here they know what I look like

yeah it's something else fucking 63 old fucking 63 year old boot. There's that and see that's not like you could put more diced tomatoes in. I'm gonna give it it's like a I'd say a cup of tomato sauce. You know like marinara whatever gives it a little more. See more saucy now. See, more saucy now. Hell yeah. By the way, my Bruins, I know you guys are sick, they blew up the team last night, which they had to. Brad Marsh and his future hall of famer, he's been with the Bruins for 16, 17 years.

When I say blow up, they traded him and like six other guys. And they had to, the Bruins sucked this year and it was very pleasing. I don't know what we're getting. We got a couple of new guys. I know it's probably boring you, but you got to like hockey if you like my show. That and you you know what WNBA you can't get enough of that Love watching zombie women play foot under the fucking rim stupid fuck stains Yeah, they walk so much they raise a thousand dollars for AIDS every time they get oh That stays in that was beautiful

Oh, that stays in. That was beautiful. Look at that. Something tells me salt right now. Can you taste it? No, I don't have to. Here's your taste. My wife, we buy kosher, Morton's kosher salt. What do you need kid? Oh good. Get in here. Let's get over here. Buddy did that to me. Pot Emerson. We didn't get along. He's a good friend of mine. We didn't get along in junior high school. There was tension all week between us. I sit down at the cafeteria table. He's across from me like that. We start fucking arguing. I don't even see him do this. He goes like this. He puts this thing on his

spaghetti and he goes whack. Hits me right in the face. And I get up and there we go in the cafeteria. I remember ripping his shirt, ripping his shirt. This is why I love guys. The principal, the teachers broke it up and they're making a squawk out and we're both laughing. We weren't even like mad at each other after it happened. I go, how do you think of that? Nathan Emerson, he's a legend. Right after high school, he fucking was an unbelievable skier. He moved to like Jackson Hole. He went to college there. Jackson Hole, you know, in, yeah, becomes a ski instructor.

And he's banging every wife. No. And sending us pictures and bartending at night. And we go, yeah, he'll be done with that in a few years. He's fucking 82. Yeah, so. And then he finally, after like 20-something years, we used to have parties.

His parents would throw a party for us in high school once a year. And it was the day, remember 1980, when the fucking Americans beat the Russians, of course you do, in hockey, in Olympics? That was the party. They had kegs there, the parents, they would be arrested today half the high schools there

They come upstairs. I'm out like a light right in the morning and they were taking a picture downstairs everybody They dragged me down in my underwear and a t-shirt down the stairs I'm like smacking my head and shit out onto the out onto the fucking wooden deck. Everybody's all lined up and I'm just like this to the fucking wooden deck everybody's all lined up and I'm just like this like one of my favorite days of my life still his parents were so goddamn cool kind of like hippie but and they owned they owned a place called um put in a pantry an ice cream place it was fucking new england famous it was a buffet you make your own sundaes and you couldn't even get in there uh we'd get drunk on a friday night he'd bust into the place would make our own sundaes and you couldn't even get in there we'd get drunk on a Friday night he'd bust into the place would make our own sundaes you know now we go how come we're fat so you let that simmer I don't know 10 15 minutes whatever then you

take this this camel semen If you say so. Didn't you eat like all your pasta one time? Yeah, Rasta Pasta. That's the same guy. Oh my God. That's the same guy. Can you get a shot of this? Oh yeah, I want it. I'll put it all in.

See the consistency now? See what consistency now? See what I mean? It's like a thick soup. That's perfect, actually. Go to nicktip.com and click on the tour button. As you see there, April 25th, there'll be a Cajes Music Hall, Cohoes New York. It's a beautiful old theater. And then tour dates May 15th and 16th, Zanies Rosemont, Illinois. A killer club. I got to film some stuff there, I think, while I'm there.

If you want to support this show, go to the merch page. As you see, we have baseball caps, hats, t-shirts, panties, bras, speedos, fins, snorkel, and Nick DePello band-aids. I like those. Anyways, grab some of that stuff at nickdip.com. You can watch full episodes of my show, Lauda with Crowder, and all exclusive Rumble content. Listen to this, ad free with one subscription. How do we do that? Just join Rumble Premium and enter promo code Mug Club, one word, to get $10 off an annual subscription. How do we do that? Just join Rumble Premium and enter promo code Mug Club, one word, to get $10 off an annual subscription.

You'll be glad you did, I promise you that much. Especially crowd a show, it's killer. Rumble's doing some stuff that I'm not supposed to talk about, but they're making some maneuvers and stuff, and to be even more of a power play than they are I'll give you details if I'm involved be a good boy I'm out!