The Nick DiPaolo Show - Nick's Debate Take | Nick Di Paolo Show #1623

Episode Date: September 12, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about the Debate, a Drive through, CO gangs and much more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

Music playing That's fucking beautiful. That's right. It's him talking about my hairdo. How are you folks? Good to be with you on our final day at Awake. Did you watch Crowder? I hope you did, because 300,000 other people were watching it at one point, which is TV numbers,

if you want to know the truth about it. That's why I do it. And so I haven't seen you since the debate, so excuse me. Oh, fuck me. Great memory. I'm forgetting to get coffee, something I've been doing since I was 11 every morning. That's fucking terrific.

Yeah, so I haven't seen you, right, since the farce, the three-on-one. And it was all that and more and I Have so much to say that I'm just gonna riff they were using style the segment of story fuck that I have a lot to say I think I thought I could run out in 30 seconds. I Just my jaw was hitting the floor. We all know ABC was gonna pork Trump and I don't know why he agrees to do stuff like this. Not that this is going to matter. I don't think in the end like everybody else is saying and I sort of agree it's

not going to change the needle but I have a couple takes for you know me I think 12 people run the world this is a movie we're watching a script play out I think she's already they want this country to be whatever not democratic she's probably already got it in the pocket. I don't know. But I'm just saying, they didn't even try to hide it, ABC. Didn't even try to fucking hide that they were getting marching orders from ABC. Do you know the woman?

I think it's a woman. It's either a woman or the woman? I think it's a woman. It's either a woman or a guy. I think it's a woman, the head of ABC, who helped put this debate together. Do you know she introduced Kamala to her husband? That's not even brought up, and that's fact. I looked it up. That's not even brought up.

And why wouldn't the first question, yeah, Trump might've been a little off his game. Can we give him a break? He's 78. He's been shot at. He's been in courtrooms he shouldn't be in, you know, and plus he's got 60 zillion people. He's trying to convince he's not Hitler. I mean, according to the media, I think that's all bullshit. This country leans right in. I don't care how many illegals you bring in. But why wouldn't he, why wouldn't the first question whoever helped him prepare, maybe nobody helped him.

Like they say he's been preparing, his whole life's been in a negotiation or a debate. That's why he's so good at it. But why wouldn't the first thing be, why didn't you tell America about your boss's dementia for the last three years? Wouldn't you open with something like that? Not even Trump. I should say,. Wouldn't you open with something like that? Not even Trump. I should say why didn't ABC open with something like that? I can go on and on about the questions they should have. You know, the minute she got nervous and didn't have an answer for anything, they would pivot to abortion. It was so fucking obvious and people are going,

well if you're complaining about the referees that means you probably lost you had the referees in your pocket it's not it's not about how they were calling the game and then they have fact-checking trying I know you've heard all this but they're fact-checking him that stupid bitch Lindsey Davis there's no state where a nine-month-old bubba bubba who asked you? The fuck is going on? What, and why wouldn't Trump say something like that? All due respect, am I debating you too?

Just one line like that would wake up the shitheads who are on the fence. I don't know how you can be on the fence at this point. Can you imagine? September, 2024, I haven't made up my mind yet. Really? You don't know whether you like Pepsi or Coke Can you imagine? September 2024. I haven't made up my mind yet. Really? Yeah.

You don't know if whether you like Pepsi or Coke at this point or whatever the fuck. You have to be kidding me. So and and and then David Muir jumps in. He's he's fact checking too. And and yes I cringed when he went to the they're eating animals and shit but but even that hasn't been disproven they always say shit you know like Trump's making it up well remember their rapist everybody laughed at him they're murderers they're not sending their best same shit you'll

find out in the end or whatever and And by the way, if you remember my late great friend, Greg Zuck was a cop in Miami for 30 something years, had to deal with Haitians all the time. He used to tell me stories all the time about finding roasted cats and the fucking, and that voodoo shit. That's what it's about, okay? I don't care if the clips were false or not, it's about 20,000 people who have nothing in common with our culture being dropped in a ton of 60,000. And the shit about cars being flipped over and accidents, that's all true. So whether you believe the dog shit or not, he's not that out of line to fucking, doesn't, that's not even the point. The point at this point, you should step back and go, and I wish, again, I wish Trump would

focus on a big picture on a few of these things. Like go, do you people really out there, I want you to compare what I've achieved, I've accomplished in my life, to what she has. We all agree that I built half the New York City skyline. You could call that a productive person. What has she fucking done in her whole life other than politics? You really, the country's a corporation, right?

We all agree on that. The United States is basically a business. I think left and right would agree on that. You really think me, captain CEO my whole life, I'm not more qualified than this fucking bimbo who has done absolutely nothing that's this big shit maybe say that in your closing statement you got to keep slapping again I go on X and I go oh my god I it's worse than ever I get chills up my neck the way people see the world and then I'm going do they really believe that or or do they know and they're just playing along what whether it's celebrities or

it's just creepy she's ten times more qualified than him he's a felon that's the other thing she went back to those old lies very fine people and shit she went back to that shit why Why would she do that? She's so cocky now. She said she wants another debate. You can take that two ways, too. Maybe her internal polling isn't as great as she thinks, or she's that cocky.

If I was her, I'd be, whew, I faked everybody on that one. That's enough. Right? I faked everybody on that one. That's enough right so How can people watch that and go that was fair? Fucking ABC fact-checking him didn't follow up on a question They asked her about abortion and even Trump said ask her about a nine-month-old, but she never answered it she did a nice end run and

They would always pivot to that when the economy came up. Shit that, you know. And it's up to you people out there, again, if these elections are real and shit. I'm so cynical. I'm beyond. I'm beyond. I can't even, I can't, it's an insult to this country and to the American people. It's an insult to your intelligence that he even has to go through this with her.

It's a fucking insult that he's not a more accomplished person. He's already got a track record. Whether you love him or hate him, he was a decent president. I've heard that from fucking people on the left. And you can look at it, empirical evidence. Look at the economy. Look what he did with shutting down ISIS. Look at peace while he was the president.

And I'm supposed to go, oh, I don't know, though. She's got some good ideas. She's just changed every idea she's had, her point of view on about eight issues in the last couple of weeks. But I'm sure she's sincere. Are you sucking my ass? Are you fucking kidding me?

I can't put people on the left you vote Democrat I want to give you the benefit of the doubt and and and I'm hoping you're just playing dumb and going hey I want to win at any cost I don't give a shit just come out and say that don't tell me that you you aren't seeing through please tell me you're not that fucking shallow please and the other thing he missed so many good opportunities she goes his rallies people get bored and leave early and I'm sitting there next to Crowder and I go

the answer to that is really some of my supporters at my rally one of them got killed and nobody left what the fuck are you talking about you can't get one tenth of the people I can at a rep that's not even brought up wouldn't that be a good answer they didn't even leave when there was bullets flying what the fuck are you talking about so don't fall for it and and here's what I think also if it's already preordained that that this country is gonna be socialist and she

If that's the case what the fuck did I wanted to say here If that's the case they're using this debate so you can look back in a couple After the election and if she won and went you saw in the debate She beat him and stuff. This is like a stepping stone stone I want to see how many more interviews she's gonna do before November 9th by herself and the media people are going they have to ask tough they're not gonna quit looking at the Democrat Party and the media like they're two separate entities the mainstream media is a propaganda arm for the Democrat Party. It has been since I started following politics

my fucking first year out of high school or whatever. How you guys don't know that, why the Republicans keep treating the Democrat, and they should be able to saying, this party has to be destroyed because it's not a political party in America. It's pure out Marxist. Don't treat it like it's a legitimate political party.

Those are the big things I would be fucking harping on. And he did take the bait on some shit, but how can't you? You're in a... He's 78, he's got a million things going on and people are getting all over him and shit, you know. He did. He took some of the bait. So what? That's who he is. If he was a phony, he could have just made funny faces like she did, you know. They said she actually literally studied with an acting coach. I don't know. I guess it's the one that coached Alan Hale on Gilligan's Island. Remember his? The skipper was always like, holy fucking moly. But the bar was set so low for her, like we said before the thing, as long as she got through it without a word salad, they were going to be kissing her ass.

And she did. It's the most eloquent she's ever been, and when I say ever been in the three interviews she's ever done by herself. Please tell me you aren't that shallow a country that you're going to fucking fall for this shit. And again, I kept saying this is such an insult to people's intelligence that she belongs on the same stage as him. And there's people on the left saying that about Trump.

And I would go, yeah, but he was already president. he didn't become the dictator you said he was he didn't do all the evil shit he wasn't Hitler that's not enough you people to decide I'm hoping it is she never gave an answer about the fucking economy those are the people you know who can hardly pay the grocery bills go to the supermarket and shit and she goes we have to turn the she kept saying we have to turn the page from Donald Trump. She actually meant we have to turn the page from the last four years. That's what she was talking about.

She was acting like she had never been in the fucking White House. And of course, ABC is going to write along. That's why she probably wants another debate. And if that's the case, Trump should say, yes, we're going to do it at Mar-a-Lago. Bret Baer and fucking Greg Gutfeld are going to be the moderators. I would like to see a little dirtiness go the other way.

You wouldn't even have to. I'm praying the American people see through this, but they haven't proved that they're fucking, I mean, they stole the last one. Do you understand that? They stole the last one you understand that they stole the last one she's she's an abomination she's just a fucking abomination and my values haven't changed oh yes yes no they haven't actually you lied for the debate and you're gonna go back to being a Marxist if you win and I would be worried for her

safety and I'm not implying anything if this country still has a heartbeat and is half as conservatives I think it is which it is she had I would be worried for her bucket I'm not saying that as a again I'm not implying anything but uh people conservatives or whatever you want to call them Republicans people who lean right traditional be able to take it enough shit somebody's got a snap out there I had to calm Dallas down today a couple shots he made some supper some drink it's got raw milk in it was it a white Russian with raw milk and anyhow please don't fall for the all the fake back and forth on the internet and all the fighting and shit Just sit back again. I'm preaching to the choir because you guys vote like me, but I'm just saying

I know you guys can see through it But you're idiot friends or anybody you argue with at a bar just go really here's a guy who literally Turned a business and he wasn't handed a silver fucking spoon he did just what he said he turned into a billion dollar business what the fuck has she ever created in her life not bad all right it's enough of my yap god I hope she gets some type of disease what kind well you know probably some type of AIDS from her husband who's pretending he's straight. Boy, the left has some real bitches.

That fucking Tim Walz, oh my god, he makes Liberace look like Ray Lewis. What a fucking fruit cup that girl is. Who's with me? Anybody? Hey! Hey! Chicharum! Lipdick Salon! All in our register I know they're breaking the wall Look at this fucking... All in our register

I know they break it I what's this motherless fucks name the head of the head of Google oh my god that'll never not be funny I like how he makes an organ sound like a foghorn hold on I have to turn this thing back on. This thing has the fucking life of Joe Biden.

All right, let's move the fuck on. What was the name of the story? I already went by it. This is drive-through drinks. Drive-through drinks. They have that. I know Florida. Anywhere else?

You've lived in this cell. I couldn't believe it. For one of the few times I went to Florida, you could? You've lived in this cell. I couldn't believe it. For one of the few times I went to Florida, you could pull up and get a six pack. And I thought drinking and driving was dangerous. What a pussy. Anyways, yeah, drive through drinks. An alleged drunk driver plowed his truck

into an Arizona social club. Imagine if it was an Italian New York social club. Half the Gambino family was stuck to a Ford F-150. You stinky manure smelling motherfucker. He drove his truck into an Arizona social club Saturday through several patrons like rag dolls in a terrifying caught on camera moment in which everyone miraculously survived according to the authorities. And when they said that, I said, really? Was it that fucking? terrifying caught on camera moment in which everyone miraculously survived

according to the authorities and when they said that I said really was it that fucking I thought he might have just you know when I heard everybody survived I figured oh he must have just kind of stepped on the gas accident like an old guy and no oh no no he came in like Elvis coming on stage that's a social club it looks like a look atenta inn. Check this out though. Pretty fucking frightening if you were there. La la la. Come on god damn it. 30 people were injured after a driver crashed a truck into an Elks lodge

in Apache Junction, Arizona. I'm here for my teeny. Apache Junction police identified the driver as 73 year old Thomas Kane. Police say Kane was leaving the lodge when his vehicle crashed into the building. Kane is charged with 12 counts of aggravated assault, 17 counts of endangerment, and DUI slightest degree. Slightest degree?

The fuck? That's a slight degree, DUI? What do you have to come out with a fucking eleven strollers and dead babies stuck in a truck in a cop's hat that's slight can we watch one more time i want you to point out i want to point out there's a guy walking towards us

picture where the truck comes in he's in like an orange or yellowish t-shirt watch him it's like a orange or a yellowish t-shirt watch him It's like a receiver catching a pass over the middle see this guy watch it There he is I didn't know that I expect that from black people We've seen a ton of clips of black people run over by a cement truck and I get right up Knock the wind out of me holy mother of God that really is a miracle see now he's dumb he should have laid down my neck my back holy shit the truck came to a stop on a waitress's neck

After it was fully inside the lodge its windshield was splashed with drinks guy puts on his wiper and a 40 lines go off Bunch of little umbrellas Boy they got some weather here I Didn't know I didn't know stole easeeys made a good windshield washer. Anyways, it was splash with drinks, according to the video surveillance. Ten people were taken to the local hospital, while another 15 people ended up licking the shit off the windshield and getting a nice bus. Received treatment and on site. In Arizona, a DUI charged to the slightest degree means the driver allegedly appeared

buzzed enough to be slapped with a DUI even if the motor split alcohol is under.08. And that was the case? In response to the unfortunate incident at the Apache Junction Elks Lodge, I'm doing a gig there last night, we want to express our heartfelt sympathy and support for all those impacted to the club and to our DJ who's now in a wheelchair and will be spitting records with his feet. Our thoughts are with the victims and their families and we want to recognize the tireless, no pun intended, efforts of the first responders who assisted. They interviewed this guy after, here it is. And then you get those dumb pedestrians.

On the way over here, one old lady walked right in front of my car. I had to swerve right off the sidewalk to keep from hitting her. Thank you, sir. That was the comment. Hey, guys and girls watching the show, for those of you people on Mug Club right now, stick around for the second half of this show and if you're not doing that you got to go to NickDip.com and sign up for Mug Club and if you do that you'll get my whole show, Steven Crowder's whole show which is the best thing on the

internet only 300,000 people turn in when he does a live stream and he's got an undercover team making national news I think you get enough of your money there and it's funny as hell. So do that right and you'll get my show, his show and a whole lot more. Also while you're on nickdip.com click on the tour dates. September 27th I'm at Wise Guys, that's coming up. Jordan's Landing in Utah and then the next two nights the 28th and 29th, Saturday and Sunday of September 28-29 I'll be at Skankfest in Vegas and a big new announcement. These aren't on sale yet but just to put this out there we announced it on Crowder. Jesus, excuse me. November 9th, Bridgeview Center Theater, Ottumwa, Iowa. I think tickets go on sale on the 20th at mcdip.com. I think that's what

they were talking. Keep an eye out, but I'm just telling you, Iowa, I don't think I've done Iowa yet. You might be the one state I haven't hit yet, and I know it's a nice conservative town and and I'll test that you know what I do you've seen me on Crowder and yeah November 9th Bridgeview Center Theatre, Ottumwa, Iowa and tickets I believe go on sale September 20 I just wanted to get that out there all right second half of the show if you stick around I I will be telling you, what are we talking about second half of the show? Oh, Shannon Sharp? Shannon Sharp had a little embarrassing thing happen on the internet way. Apparently he was having sex and there's no footage of him having sex. Didn't want to embarrass all the white fellas. But there's audio and

stuff and he's, you know, I'm supposed to believe it's not a, you know, I'm sorry to be so cynical but when shit like this happens, it's not an accident. We're talking about Shannon Sharp who has a podcast and blah blah blah. But it's still pretty funny how he's handling it and how Ocho Cinco waited. That'll be the second half of the show. Hi, good night everybody. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm out.