The Nick DiPaolo Show - Noam Dworman | Nick Di Paolo Show #1455

Episode Date: September 13, 2023

c In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo interviews The Comedy Cellar's Noam Dworman! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s ��Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Welcome to the show. What a great show I got today. On a dirty Wednesday from the state of Georgia. How are you, folks? Great to be with you. My guest today on the show, old friend of Georgia. How are you, folks? Great to be with you. My guest today on the show, old friend of mine, if you like my comedy,

well, if you hate it, you can blame him too, him and his dad, the proprietor of the world-famous comedy cellar and of the podcast Live From the Table. Please welcome my friend,

Noam Dwarman. Noam! Hey, Nick. How you doing? I am hanging in there how about yourself i'm i'm good and i'm happy i'm happy to see you you know after we had some some twitter battles not sort of text message battles you know and i'm happy we both took them in stride and we're friends again well yes i love you gnome is a very let me tell you, Noam and his dad, his late great dad, the most reasonable people when it comes to politics. And that's what we did at that table.

I used to get there early to pretend to debate with his dad and he'd tie me in knots in 30 seconds. And Noam's the same way. Went to UPenn Law School, I believe. And now he's making zillions. He's making lawyers look silly. Yeah, we, I had tweeted something that, when I sent it out there, I, you know, even I, Noam,

was like, meh. You don't need to share it if you don't want it. That's between us. I'm just happy that we're friends. I kind of liked, well, it depends. If you don't want me to share it, I won't. No, no, that's up to you. Oh, all right. It was kind of liked it. Well, it depends. If you don't want me to share it, I won't. No, no, that's up to you. Oh, all right. It was kind of a, yeah, it was, you know, I guess I was bored and wanted to stir up some shit,

which that happens when you're married and your wife doesn't like you. You know, folks, no, I'm kidding. Tell me about it. There was a, by the way, how is Juanita and the kids first? They're very good. Actually, today's the first day of school, so she's out picking them up from school.

Oh, my God. And I took them this morning. You know, Noam, let me forget the tweet. What's it like? Well, you don't live in the city, but you got to go in there every day still, right? Yeah, but I don't battle rush hour and i go i go when i want i you know i mean i'm in the top point zero one percent of of people who have nothing to complain about in life so yeah he's got a helicopter he flies in from westchester he lands on the comedy cellar roof

um i i'm just saying though is it the shithole that I see as portrayed on TV and on the internet? New York city looks like the saddest, meanest place on the planet, especially for people who do have things to complain about, have to go to work from, uh, you know, eight to five or whatever, and take the transit system and deal with that. It looks like a hell hole. Is it not? Um, well, I don't take the subway, but I hear that it's worse.

I don't think we're back to, you know, Charles Bronson death wish levels or even... No? No, no, no, not at all. But it definitely got worse, and it has the feeling like that we're just holding it together and that it could get even worse still. And that's what's scary because the stuff, you know, I mean, Giuliani, you know, it's kind of like is made fun of now. But, you know, I'm not talking about Dr. Jekyll.

I'm talking about Mr. Hyde, you know, Giuliani. Which one's the good one? I don't know. I don't know. I'm guessing. But, you know, he turned New York around at that time. But he won by a whisker, by a whisker at a time when New York was doing terribly. And one wonders if somebody could, if he could win, you know, today. Everybody talks a good game about knowing that things are

going bad but the tribal politics is such that i don't i'm worried about it i don't know well you should be uh there's such a it's not even a gap anymore it's two different countries well also man they're talking about this congestion pricing now yes Yes. It's $23 a day on middle class people trying to go to work at a time when they're worried about the office buildings being empty as it is. Right. And they say it's because they care about the environment. It's just a grab for money, obviously, but I'm afraid it's going to backfire terribly on the city. Well, I'm so cynical, Norm. I don't know how you feel.

I'm so cynical, especially after the last presidential election. That's another whole discussion. I look at New York, St. Louis, just pick any major city run by a Democrat mayor, Philadelphia. I don't believe, I'm sorry, I don't believe people voted for these, for some of these, you know, attorneys what's the um you know like uh what's his name in new york the brag brag yeah i mean uh i don't believe people they voted for adams or uh the guy in philly they i i just think i know it's a cynical take but i really think the fix is in. Somebody has decided which way this country is going to go.

It's all been decided. I don't know where, but I don't believe people vote for like, after Lori Lightfoot got out of Chicago. What's that? You're not asking me because being Jewish, you suspect I might know the answer to that, are you? I don't know where it's being run. I don't know. Lori's being run. I don't know. Lori Lightfoot in Chicago, right? Everybody hated her. Black people, everybody hated her.

You want me to believe after she turned that place into a total shithole that they brought in that black Marxist openly fucking, literally says he's a communist. You want me to believe people voted for that guy?

It is hard to believe, but I believe it. Do you really? Why do you believe it? Why do you believe it? Because I don't think you could pull something like that off. You're like Colin Quinn. You're too reasonable. The other side says the same thing. We hear these famous stories when Nixon won, and people say, I can't believe everybody i know voted for mcgovern you know you know it it's from within your eyes you can't

believe it but there are a lot of people out there especially whatever but you know i would say with with new york it's not so much elected officials that really worries me it's the the flight of all the money because what new york has always had that the other cities didn't have and that kept us afloat is that we were rich but now with the high tax rates i know people leaving the city and you read about it every day and new york cannot sustain itself without the rich tax base let me that really scares the shit out of me. Okay. Well, that, but isn't that, doesn't that sort of back my point that it's turned into such a hell hole under these Democrat mayors that people are leaving in droves and, and yeah,

they're leaving. Not just because of the taxes. Yeah. It, well, it's, you know, it's multi,

multi-caused, you know, multivariate, but the taxes are i i know people who specifically left because of the taxes people who were so rich that the hellhole of the city really is for the little people you know they don't really expose themselves to these things but the taxes compared to like flor, the disparity is so enormous that people are like, what the fuck? I'm just not going to waste $20 million, you know, to, to enjoy the museums. Yeah. That's what I always say.

I think I actually had a bit about that. People always go, well, they always make fun of Des Moines or whatever, Omaha. Well, we have libraries and museums. And I always say to my friends, have you been to one? When's the last time you were at the fucking, at the museum? And when I do, it's only to please somebody else.

When's the last time you saw Annie get your gun or The Wiz or Hamilton? Shut up. Yeah, I agree. I agree with you. I hope that doesn't apply to comedy, but I agree with you. Yeah, or Hamilton. Shut up. I agree with you. I hope that doesn't apply to comedy, but I agree with you. I know. I'm so wrapped up in politics. I was going to talk comedy, but I can't.

I'm watching my country fall apart. We're talking to the great Noam Dorman, by the way, the proprietor of the world-famous comedy cellar, who has a great podcast of his own. I'll get to that in a second live from the table. The table by the way which I and I will take credit for again suggested because his dad

and I think Colin Quinn was giving me a go. Are you sure? I go really it doesn't sound like me to be complaining. There's no place to sit and he went you got a good point and um i i think it was you nick i think it was you i was i was i came back from la i had bags in my hands this is when i had the eye of the tiger can you imagine me doing a set when i get in from la oh my god i wouldn't even from westchester i didn't want to get off my

couch and you and i was standing at the bar and i go to your dad was right there god bless him and i go can't we have that corner can't we have this like table right next night it's the type of guy was next night it said reserve but then we had the next couple months had to tell people who were sitting down like people would move the sign he had reserved on it people would move that and i He had reserved on it. People would move that and I'd have to come over and some family's there for dinner.

I'm like, get out of here. That's not your fucking secret. By the way, the hummus is delicious. Now get out of here. By the way, Nick,

I just want to say, you know, as far as New York, I am worried about New York, but I'm pretty optimistic about the future of the country. Are you? Yeah,

yeah. We found him. What's that? I said, We found him. What's that? I said we found him, the guy that's the optimist. We still do have the best system. We have the best demographics in terms of age. We have everything.

There's no place on earth that has any reason to be optimistic more than the United States of America. We've had our ups and downs and I have such confidence in the system. And if they don't fuck with the system and if we got nothing from and I didn't support Trump

for different reasons, but we got a Supreme Court out of Trump, which I think is going to keep us steered in the right direction now in a way that makes me optimistic. Hey, in the second half of the show, Noam and I hit on some some really interesting topics. And one of them being his interview with Philip Bump, a writer for The Washington Post, who was.

Well, let's just put it this way. I thought Noam made him look like a monkey, but you're going to want to hear Noam's take on that. To do that, you have to be part of Mug Club. Go to nickdip.com and sign up for Mug Club. Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats t-shirts hoodies and more which yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time you can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the nicker shirts just go to nickdip.com and click on store again that's nickdip.com click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com. Click on store. Thank you guys so much.

See you soon. You're optimistic, you said, if they don't fuck with the system. Well, how about the borders being wide open to the world? And like you just said, this country still, as the hellish nightmare going through under Biden, still is the best place on the planet.

And everybody on the planet knows that. And they're pouring in and that to me is fucking with the system you can't overload schools and these safety net programs i mean i think it's olenski's rules it's rule number nine to destroy a fucking democracy uh you you overwhelm the the social programs and stuff until it collapses. I mean, aren't we watching? And I don't think I'm being, I don't think these are hyperbolic terms, but don't you think we're witnessing

kind of a cultural revolution? No? Yeah, it is. Listen, you're right. You can't overload it. And, you know, shame on them for years when people who were being overrun with immigrants in border towns were immediately called racist rather than anybody can say, well, maybe they're really being over all of a sudden, it's not racist anymore. All of a sudden, nobody says that. Oh, now, well, our resources, if the immigrants, the hardworking immigrants, would all to disappear tomorrow.

Yes. What a wet dream. We would have no ability to function because they are the people doing the work and they are the... And as a matter of fact, it's really the rich Republicans who would be the first people to feel the pinch. Rich Republicans a matter of fact, it's really the rich Republicans who would be the first people to feel the pinch. Rich Republicans.

What is this? 1968. The Democrats are all tied in with money too. Now, fair enough, but fair enough, the rich, but well,

and you're right. That's, that's actually a very good point you just made. But in general, we need, we need the labor because we don't grow our own and we're going to have to come to terms with that. We really don't grow our own, and that's that. So the country is going to change, and it's going to change.

And that's, you know, I don't think most of the resistance is racism because it's perfectly natural to be comfortable with your own – what you're used to, what you're comfortable with. I don't want my neighborhood turning Hasidic. I'm not anti-Semitic. I do. There's certainly some racism mixed in it, but I don't cry racism when I hear that. But the country needs immigrants, and these immigrants, the ones that work for me,

are terrific. But what we do need, what we absolutely fucking need, is to control the border. Right. Because you can't have any policy. You can't decide, listen, let's talk about

who should come in and out of our house. Okay, that's a fair conversation. I think it should be a lot of people. You think it should be very few people. But we can't have that conversation until we can actually control who comes in and out of the house. And then we can decide.

So that's the big mistake. We have to control the border. And as a matter of fact, that will help both sides because people will feel the pinch of a controlled border too. Wages will skyrocket as soon as people can't get their hands on labor

anymore. And that will cause its own compromises in a similar way to the way they out, they, they, they overruled Roe versus Wade. And all of a sudden Kansas is like, ah, we don't really want to get rid of abortion. You know, we talked a good game when Trump was going to repeal her, we're going to repeal and replace Obamacare. The Republicans ran on this for like six years. And the second they had the chance, like, well, we don't really have those. No, that's a good point. So put up or shut up, right? We want to get rid of all these immigrants.

The second they can actually live without the immigrant stream. Not all of them. You're going to see things waking up a little bit. Well, I guess it wasn't as easy as we thought. That's my position on it. Yeah. Well, first of all, as far as the Hasidic Jews, they're great neighbors. I had them in L.A.

I'm not kidding you. I loved them. They'd get up and go to church every day, mind their business. And they keep the strip clubs running. And they kept the titty bars open, the Chinese restaurants on New Year's. I'd tip my fedora to them, whatever the fuck. I actually loved them. I used to talk about them on stage all the time.

As far as like, and you said, okay, we need immigrants to pick the strawberries and grapes and stuff, all that. I don't mind that, and I believe that, but that doesn't matter if the Chinese... I didn't say strawberries and grapes. No. Everything. Everything. Go ahead. Oh, everything. Okay, if they

have to pick everything, I don't mind. But it doesn't matter if the Chinese own those farms. I'm not talking about just agriculture. I'm talking about agriculture. I am right now. I am right now. I mean, there was documents written in literally 1733. My wife is reading a book to me, a lot of that Illuminati stuff,

that mentions how foreign countries would buy up all the farmland. This thing could have been written two weeks ago. Why are we letting China buy up all this farmland? I mean, aren't you skeptical? I feel like there's 10 guys in a room, and I'm not saying they're Jews, 10 guys in a room. I think eight of them are trans. One's black, and then there's a Puerto Rican with one leg. They're calling the shots. On China, the only thing I do worry, and I think we should intervene on, is the semiconductors. That the Chinese should not be. We should not have to depend on the Chinese for anything like that. But

buying up land, we went through this with the Japanese, it's a free country. I am so confident that a dictatorship like China will collapse under its own weight, and sooner not later, that I really don't, I'm not really worried about that. I feel that way

about the Biden administration. I have never seen, I have never in my life when i say a cultural revolution i'm like a marxist revolution i i can't believe the gall as far as well you have kids in school don't you yes are you worried well you probably sent him to private school or whatever. No, no, public school. Public school. Holy shit. How about this guy? This guy's a trillionaire and he sent him to public school. I'm not a rich Democrat.

I sent him to public school. But aren't you, don't, when you read stuff that's going on with the whole transgender thing, and I don't think it's blown out of proportion, teachers not letting the parents, we did a story today on my show about the unions. Teachers, Randy Weingarten, how big's her dick, by the way? Him, I mean. What an ugly thing, and an angry thing,

and a mentally ill thing. But anyways, don't you shake your head and go, wait a minute, the parents, they get mad when the parents try to intervene in their own children's lives as far as like sex goes. I mean, this absolutely isn't that insane? What's going on? Well, I mean, my answer on that on that particular issue of the trans thing is absolutely I am

strongly against the notion that some bureaucrat has any right to get in between a parent and a child on the most important of issues. And of course, there will be parents who are so outrageous that, you know, you'd say, well, your heart, your heart breaks that they have to deal with parents like that. But that's not a reason that they can come between me and my child. And I agree with you on that. And I agree with you that they've gone overboard on some of this stuff. I'm not particularly worried about my kids and their exposure to it. I was highly exposed to this stuff growing up in the village, too. That's true.

Well, that is true. And I always knew that the alien in Star Trek gave me a boner, like the female. I never, I don't believe that these things happen because of exposure. I do think, I do worry, and I think there is convincing that for people who are very psychologically fragile, the trendiness of some of this stuff uh is causing is is moving the needle but i think i think already the pendulum is swinging the other way uh yeah and but i will say this dick i don't like the ridicule of the trans people uh because um you know the who's before today not you no i think no, but who's, I didn't think you met me,

but I actually have a relative. This hits close to home, but I'll still say horrible jokes. I just love it. But let me ask you, you said, who is, like, who is bullying these people? Who is making fun of them? I mean, I think that. People like, what's his name who works for Ben Shapiro

he did that documentary it's a lot of listen yeah you know part of the problem with my politics these days is that quite often the people I agree with are seem to be the party's leaving you there,

there, there, there, there's a cruelty to it. For instance, well, the cruelty to the way they talk about trans people, which,

which goes beyond it's, it's the flip side of the woke. There's the woke dress up. They're bullying as righteousness. If they, if they can, if they can make the case that somebody, you know, it says something wrong,

they just ruin them to the point where these people would jump off a building, they're getting such abuse. And then the wealthy say, well, we're just speaking truth to power. No, you're bullies. You're enjoying it. And I sense some of that in the attack on trans people. But not

all of it. That's the thing. I agree. The sports thing, I agree with of it. That's the thing. But I agree. The sports thing, I agree with that. The stuff in the schools and getting in between parents, I agree with that. Do I really care about the bathroom issue? No, I don't. Because what bathroom have they been using for the last hundred years? Have you ever seen a trans woman in the men's room? Trans women have obviously always been using the ladies room or they weren't using the, I don't know. Well, for those of you on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of the show.

For those of you who are not, by the way, you'll get the rest of this show. You get Crowder's full show, Brian Callen, the Hodge twins. Go to nickdip.com to join the Mug Club. Also check out my dates, Buffalo. Just check out the dates, Buffalo and Santander Arena on the 16th. Buffalo is at Rob's whatever, Playhouse on the 15th, and on the 17th, Hilarity's Comedy Club in Cleveland, Ohio. Now back to the show. guitar solo Outro Music