The Nick DiPaolo Show - Northam Not Red-Faced About Lying Straight-Faced About Black Face #113

Episode Date: February 5, 2019

Pats Dynasty and The Dicks That Hate Them. Birth Of A Chimney Sweep. Clouds In Her Coffee. Six Gun on Seven Train.  ...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 🎵 Oh, yeah. Oh, what a glorious Monday. What a glorious Monday. How are you, folks? Welcome to the show. 833-599-NICK. What a glorious Monday. What a glorious Monday. How are you, folks? Welcome to the show. 833-599-NICK. 833-599-6425.
Starting point is 00:00:57 Shout out to Matt Day, who sent a nice C-note. If you want to make contributions, you don't belong to any of the tiers. You go to nickdip.com, and right there you can make a contribution thank you so much matt very generous nickdip.com uh for contributions you can buy stuff my tour dates and real quick sorry i wasn't able to get to all the super chats on friday it was just way too many anyway uh to answer a few more of those questions excuse me uh for titties and beer and for monkey balls as i said friday nobody's banned from my youtube chat it won't be unless they're spamming trolling about someone else's show or writing shit that is going to get my channel shut down
Starting point is 00:01:38 like the n-word or whatever so otherwise you're fine it's a place to spill your guts uh for travis blake you asked what kind of gun that i own and it's a remington 870 uh pump action 12 gauge leaves a nice hole in a tree and my neighbor's fucking garage that's where i tested it uh just you guys know if you're uh super chats off topic i'm not going to read it because it fucks up the flow of the show and uh i can't read everyone's but i get to eventually but stay on topic and you will be heard otherwise uh you know what i'm saying um dates real quick you can get these at nickdip.com i read these every show because i'm seeing a boost in attendance, so it's working. Friday and Saturday, September 8th and 9th, the Black Box Boca Raton. That's this Friday and Saturday.
Starting point is 00:02:31 Saturday, February 23rd, Cohoes Hall. Cohoes! It says no link yet. I don't think that's true, is it? Anyways, I'll be shooting a one-hour special at Cohoes Hall. Please come. Bring everybody. I want to see that place packed. March 2 this is brand new brook art center brooks new jersey friday march 8th wood
Starting point is 00:02:53 theater again no link for brooks new jersey just got this one a few hours ago friday march 8th wood theater glens falls new york friday april 26th steel stacks bethlehem pennsylvania friday and saturday may 3 and 4 side split, Side Splitters, Tampa, Florida. No link yet, but that'll be up. That's one of my—I don't like to do many clubs, but that's one of the best ones in the country. Friday, May 31st, Jonathan's, Agunquit, Maine. Saturday, June 1st, Whites of Westport, Westport, Mass.
Starting point is 00:03:19 Saturday, August 10th, Newtown Theater, Newtown, Pennsylvania. Friday, Saturday, August 16th and 17th helium comedy club in philadelphia no link yet saturday october 19th ridgefield playhouse ridgefield connecticut no link yet really yeah so the february 23rd show does have a link up i thought so february uh 23rd does have a link that's's Cahoe's Hall. That's the one I'm going to be shooting. So Jesus, click on that link, will you? Pack that jernt, as they say, huh? Anyways, how was your weekend? I grew up 20 miles from Boston. My weekend was fucking fantastic. What's that? A World Series and a Super Bowl
Starting point is 00:04:06 within what, three, four months of each other? Ha ha ha. Welcome to Titletown, baby. Dirty Watertown. And look at that. That is the president. Thrilled.
Starting point is 00:04:17 He's never been skinnier, I have to admit that much. This guy lives on fucking McDonald's and Burger King. And apparently this mannequin is shredded. But, anybody hearing a buzz? Get off the fucking walkie-talkie.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Go outside. Not your fault. Just saying. Every time you click that thing. Ryan's talking to this boy Scott he met over the weekend. I just wanted to clarify. You're shooting your special at Coho's Hall? You're not shooting Coho's Hall?
Starting point is 00:04:48 Right. What, I say I'm shooting Coho's Hall? You just said you're shooting, and you don't want it packed so that it's full. Well, you do if you're going to be a fucking shooter. A mass shooter, you don't want fucking eight people there. You want to fucking make the news. I'm kidding about that, by the way. That is the stupidest thing.
Starting point is 00:05:03 Don't. Just a joke. You know, I spent good money on these ties and this goddamn microphone's blocking it. Look at that. That thing's got fucking Tucker Carlson written all over it. Greatest of all time, Tom Brady's sixth ring. More fucking rings than Liberace and Cher combined. And him winning infuriates the fucking Trump haters, which makes me hard as a whale's tooth.
Starting point is 00:05:31 Your tears are so yummy and sweet. The tears of unfathomable sadness. Yummy, yummy again. You know you want crazy motherfucking walk, man. No, I don't. So shut it. Anyways, let me put on the glasses to make me look in my late 70s. I'd rather be blind than wear these motherless fucks.
Starting point is 00:05:51 Tom Brady won a sick Super Bowl ring at 41 years old. And the media and other critics of Donald Trump, including CNN, jerk-offs, and Daily Beast, jerk-offs, cannot be happy. You know why they're not happy, folks? I've got to be honest with you. Not only because Trump and Brady have been friends for a long time. Brady has a MAGA hat in his locker. That sent the media crazy. Can you imagine?
Starting point is 00:06:15 Who do you think you are? And the other thing that's bugging them, and I'll point it out because no other show will. MVP of the Super Bowl, Edelman, white super bowl edelman white gronk white and polish brady white burkhead white hogan white not to mention a few of the linemen uh i don't care about that you i don't care if it's an all japanese team right if Right? If you have fucking Belichick, you could have all Asians, 5'10", 106 pounds, they're still going to go deep into the playoffs.
Starting point is 00:06:51 Early on Sunday, the Daily Beast, which is a left-wing rag that I wouldn't wipe my cat's ass with if I had a cat, ran a hit piece on Boston sports fans calling the city's history one filled with racism.
Starting point is 00:07:02 The piece cited as evidence, that's in quotes, for the claim that the fact that former Celticsic star kevin mckale and larry bird were white oh so that's racist in itself an immutable uh characteristic you're born with makes you racist you guys are fucking evil you're the race you are the racist you are the bigots uh larry, he was white. Brady, sorry. They're only the greatest athletes in their sports, almost. Tom Brady, no doubt. We're supposed to apologize for that?
Starting point is 00:07:33 Patriots head coach Bill Belichick. And Kraft, the owner, also white. They're supporters of Trump as well. Tom Yawkey, the former Red Sox owner, did not racially integrate the team until after the rest of the Major League Baseball decades ago. But I noticed that you didn't mention that the Boston Bruins were the first NHL team to sign a black player. I noticed you didn't mention that.
Starting point is 00:07:58 Did you? Did you, you filthy Willie O'Ree? Was the first black NHL player signed by the Bruins. Yeah, but they just did it because he was good. Yes, exactly. Daily Beast, this is for you, you fucking cheese-eating
Starting point is 00:08:15 fucksuckers. Why don't you go ask Shaq how he liked Boston? Nobody had more fun than Shaq in Boston. And, you know, it makes me sick. The whole institution of Boston sports, from root to stem, is tinged with the sort of racism that brought Trump into office. Fuck you and everything you believe in.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Mr. President, are you with me? Sure is excited, isn't he? More than a decade after jackie robinson entered the league red socks were the last team to uh desegregate the socks first owner tom yawkey was infamous racist whose speech was peppered with racial slurs sort of like obama and eric holder larry burr became a symbol of white resentment no he became a symbol of white pride. Can I say that without getting in trouble? No, he was a symbol of white pride in a 85% black league. He was as good as anybody to ever play the game.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Symbol of pride, not resentment. Resentment to you fucking bigots on the left. That would be mostly white liberals too, by the way. His jersey appearing as symbol of white entitlement to black spaces and Spike Lee's do the right thing. And Spike Lee's no racist. He loves white people. We know that.
Starting point is 00:09:29 We know it. Do the right thing. Why don't you do the right thing and make a good movie, you fucking rib eater? His large teammate, Kevin McHale, was spotted at a Trump rally during the election. Oh, my God. White power, one, two, three, four!
Starting point is 00:09:56 Going down the drain! What a catchy tone. What a catchy tone. I'm kidding with that song, so just relax. But they're the ones having the problem. This is why they hate the Brady's success. It represents, and here's the beauty of sports, there's no white entitlement. In sports, you play if you're good or you don't play.
Starting point is 00:10:22 So he wasn't handed. Matter of fact, he was a sixth round draft pick, I think, Brady. So you know what? Nothing was handed to him. You saw his physique. My dad has a better physique at fucking 83. He runs like a clod. He's the greatest of all time. The exact
Starting point is 00:10:38 opposite of entitlement. That's called earning it. Integrity. Learn it. Breathe it. Sniff it but CNN on Saturday are they still on the air those guzzlers of fucking Satan's peepee hole CNN and said I read a piece calling the Patriots the most hated team of all time in large part because of Trump which is a which is ironic because I don't think there's a more anti-Trump city than Boston, my hometown. I experienced some of that when I did Comics Come Home a few years ago.
Starting point is 00:11:10 And so you're full of shit there, Daily Beast. Just a fucking, just a rag. Many others in the media criticize Brandy Craft and Belichick or the Patriots in general over Trump. Really? Is that how it works? Anybody criticize Obama? Trump and Brady have been close for many years. The media cannot stand their friendship.
Starting point is 00:11:34 Brady having a red MAGA hat in his locker during the 2016 presidential. While Brady has been tight-lipped about his politics, many suspect he's a Republican and clearly a supporter of Trump. Oh my God. How dare you? How dare you have your own politics, Tom, and be white and successful?
Starting point is 00:11:51 They hate Brady the same reason they hate the president. White, successful. Could you get a whiter guy than Brady? I mean, if you made a movie about a fucking, you know, a white quarterback, you'd name him Tom Brady and you make him look like he did with a supermodel wife. Artie Lang had a great bit about what a great life Brady has. He fucking, he goes down on his wife
Starting point is 00:12:12 and he finds like a 50, fucking 50-carat piece of gold in her pussy and a Mickey Mantle mint card, rookie card. Ah, good old Artie Lang. Anyways, Brady even ran a play at one point during the Super Bowl I heard this too I jumped out of my seat yelling Reagan before the snapped audible that's his way of saying fuck you and everything you believe in on the left even when he picks up his sixth ring that's why he's
Starting point is 00:12:39 gonna go down as my favorite of all time he should run for senator actually can you imagine he wouldn't can you imagine him running against Warren? Who do you think would win? Probably be close in Boston. Warren has a better arm, I think, because she's half Cherokee. She can really scramble. He yelled Reagan, sending the play to the right. What would a fucking, what would a lib quarterback?
Starting point is 00:13:05 Who are you going to yell? Stalin, Stalin, five, two, Stalin, Stalin's the mic. Ocasio-Cortez is the mic.
Starting point is 00:13:16 Do you believe that? He yelled Reagan. How fucking horrible. I'm so appalled. That may be harder than a fucking shark's tooth. Anyways, it says at the end, begrudgingly, with Sunday night's victory over the Rams, Brady
Starting point is 00:13:28 is officially the greatest quarterback. He wasn't after what he did in Atlanta a couple years ago. We've won so many Super Bowls. I thought that was last year, the Atlanta. I forgot about the loss to the Eagles. Like I said, it bothered me and the Patriots fans for about 30 seconds. I
Starting point is 00:13:43 got to pinch myself folks like I said I've said this on the show but I'm 57 years old I started watching the Pats when I was six 1968 didn't see him getting a Super Bowl till I think was 1985 when they get routed by the Bears and the greatest defense ever I sat through all those horrible seasons watching they were the laughingstock of the league i i can't believe what i'm watching and there's people there's kids out there who just started following them that are fucking 17 that don't know any ryan is what who do you like ryan the redskins the redskins my owner's retarded that's racist calling them the redsk. I'd call him the dirty fighting Indians. I'd call him the barefoot savages.
Starting point is 00:14:28 I love how they say he's the greatest now. Like he didn't prove that fucking long ago. Anyhow, any fucking how. That's what they hate. That's what the libs hate, folks. They hate rich. They hate white. They hate successful.
Starting point is 00:14:41 Ooh, that's what they hate. That's what the libs hate, folks. They hate rich. They hate white. They hate successful. Trump's, between Gisele and Tom Brady's, you know, salary, you don't think they're in Trump's tax bracket? Oh, my God, this must be killing the left-wing jerk-offs.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Must be killing them. Don't think that was lost to me the whole game. Oh, God. How about Edelman? What a tough little prick. They did a piece on him a few weeks ago. They ran it before the Super Bowl, not knowing he was going to be the MVP.
Starting point is 00:15:17 And how his dad lost his father when he was three years old. So his dad was a bit of a prick. He used to throw baseballs at Edelman's head. And when Edelman got big enough, he actually charged them out and they actually like fist fought and shit. His father's a mechanic. Just kind of white trashy, fucking did what he had to do. Had no dad growing up.
Starting point is 00:15:32 I did, gave all his love to Edelman and look how it turns out. Did you, did you see it? Love that guy. 833-599-NICK. 833-599-6425 I want to apologize the rest of the nation I'm hearing this today even from my producer uh the little one there what's his fucking name Ryan uh you know just oh the game was boring yeah three to three going into the fourth quarter is boring
Starting point is 00:16:00 where any one play can change the game i admitted they both sucked on offense i'll admit that i don't need it i i i like a 3-3 game i i don't i watch college football 48 40 and i'm like eh anyways doesn't matter does it it doesn't matter it's not how you win it's if you win. I just made that up. What a jerk-off. Oh, God. Red Sox Patriots. Hey, Celtics, Bruins, wake up. Matter of fact, the Bruins beat the defending champs. The Capitals won nothing in Washington.
Starting point is 00:16:38 They had beaten us 14 in a row. Enough about sports. Sorry. But it all ties together, folks. How about this one here? The conservative argument that Northam's yearbook, remember we talked about Northam, the governor of Virginia, who, you know, just got elected, and he was talking about killing babies,
Starting point is 00:16:52 and how he makes them comfortable, like he's Clemenza, or like he's the Turk, good with a knife. We make the baby comfortable, then we stab it in the forehead with a knitting needle and listen to it scream. Anyways, you thought that was the, we all thought, oh my God, what a bad week he's having.
Starting point is 00:17:10 And then this, this whole yearbook thing. Oh my God. But the conservatives just says this yearbook controversy proves liberals are the real racist, but we all know that on the left. You are correct, sir.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Put up the pictures of the yearbook. He comes out on Friday and admits that's him in the picture. The minute the story broke, he apologizes, saying, you know, I'm sorry for this. It's offensive, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:17:43 And then he sits around for about 24 hours and goes, hey, wait a minute. One guy's got blackface on. The other one's got a hood on. How the fuck are they going to know it's me? You know, some lawyer told him that, or maybe he thought of it on his evil own. Here's what you want to take away from this story, the big point, because the left is going, you got to resign. Kamala Harris, all the fucking, that's what bugged me about the story. They get to puff up their chest now, like it's going out on a limb saying that you should resign. Kamala Harris, all the other races, Booker T. Washington, what's his name? Cory Booker, all the hateful ones come out and say, this is absolutely abhorrent. You got to step down,
Starting point is 00:18:23 blah, blah, blah. But they don't have a problem with him killing babies. There was very little pushback. So according to the Democrat Party and its leaders and its future leaders, killing a baby, and that's what you're doing, and I'm not a pro-life nut, but when the thing is eight, nine months old, what are you, shitting me? You could tell it to go to the bank for you at that point. They have a zero, zero tolerance policy with blackface. But killing a baby?
Starting point is 00:18:50 Yeah, fuck it. So in other words, wearing blackface is a worse offense than actually infanticide. Am I making that up? No, I'm not. They are some fucked up people over there. I can't explain it. But my God. Wake up people over there. I can't explain it, but my God. Wake up, white people.
Starting point is 00:19:11 That includes you, governor. He made an asshole. So he admits to it when those pictures came out on Friday. Saturday. I'll give you the rundown. Friday afternoon, news breaks at Northam's page in his 1984 medical school yearbook at Eastern Virginia Medical who shows two people blackface KKK costume. He admits it in the photograph. Earlier today, a website published a photograph of me for my 1984 medical school yearbook in a costume that is racist.
Starting point is 00:19:38 Oh, here's the video. I'm sorry. We have him saying it himself. Yesterday, I took responsibility for content that appeared on my page in the Eastern Virginia medical school yearbook that was clearly racist and offensive. I am not and will not excuse the content of the photo. God damn those cameras. It was offensive, racist, and despicable.
Starting point is 00:20:02 When my staff showed me the photo in question yesterday, I was seeing it for the first time. I did not purchase the EDMS yearbook, and I was unaware of what was on my page. When I was confronted with the images yesterday, I was appalled that they appeared on my page, but I believe then and now that I am not either of the people in that photo. I stand by my statement of apology to the many Virginians who were hurt by seeing this time.
Starting point is 00:20:38 All right, all right, we get it. You're a liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, and you know it. That was on Friday. Then he comes out on Saturday and says this. That same year, I did participate in a dance contest in San Antonio in which I darkened my face as part of a Michael Jackson costume. I look back now and regret that I did not understand the harmful legacy of an action like that. It is because my memory of that episode is so vivid
Starting point is 00:21:08 that I truly do not believe I am in the picture in my yearbook. What a douche. Digging a hole deeper than... First of all, it's hilarious that a white guy who ends up being governor of Virginia, which is a very... has a racist history as a state.
Starting point is 00:21:31 Worse than the city of Boston, actually. It's just fucking hilarious. He's doing... Apparently, he could moonwalk. You know how he learned to moonwalk? Every time he saw a black person, he'd go into that walk and just fucking back out of the room.
Starting point is 00:21:44 Am I right, Ryan? Of course I am, my sweetie pie. Can you imagine? So, he admits to putting on shoe polish on his face and shit. In 1984, he said he didn't know that was offensive in 84. It's not 18
Starting point is 00:22:03 fucking 84. 1984. How is this a doctor? How is this guy a doctor and a governor i mean that is just fucking precious and wouldn't you know right away why didn't you come out on friday when you saw that said that's not me it took you a day to decide it's not you like you said you would day to decide it's not you. Like you said, you would have remembered. So why didn't you come out and go, what the fuck? That's not me. He comes out and says,
Starting point is 00:22:29 Oh, it was put on my page by mistake or whatever. Even if that was the case, then he goes, but you know what? I put on shoe polish and I did a moonwalk. Oh, in that case,
Starting point is 00:22:40 stay by all means, governor. Now, let me give you my angle on this. In my perfect world, this would all be fine. We could laugh and go, what a jerk-off, what an idiot, and laugh it off and go, you know, he's in college, he's 25, blah, blah, blah. Even though it was totally inappropriate in 84. I'm still saying, I don't want to be part of this world.
Starting point is 00:23:03 We're creating this atmosphere, especially in politics, where your career gets destroyed because of shit they dig up on Facebook a few years ago. I mean, there's going to be a whole generation wiped out. I get pictures of my daughter's nieces in the tub upstairs here.
Starting point is 00:23:20 My wife's giving them a facial, whatever, and they put like mud on their face. I get the pictures and I plan on holding it over their heads until they're in their 40s. Oh my God. So, you know,
Starting point is 00:23:35 I mean, so I'm not, I don't like that either. Life in Korea can be destroyed. But to come out and then dig the fucking hole deeper, whatever. But doesn't everybody deserve a second chance michael vick got one not a white governor from virginia christ no he kills babies we have to keep him but the left is just you know it's making the left look good look we practice
Starting point is 00:23:59 what we preach i heard chuck todd say that or meet the press. He goes, especially the Democrat Party, like the Republicans are all for this. Governor Northam, a Democrat, was asked about the bill. This is when he's talking about the, we played this last week, about the child being born after a failed attempt at an abortion and that they resuscitate the child and then have a discussion on how they're going to kill it what do you want to do knives stick a dynamite light it on fire it's up to the mom to decide i mean come on guys fucking kill more babies than fucking michael jackson's
Starting point is 00:24:37 ferris wheel what it's abortion time kids oh it's only your brain. Shut up, Junior. But this article in Vox also mentions, it's worthy noting that the photograph, left-wing article, by the way, began circling via a right-leaning website with close ties to both the failed Roy Moore Senate campaign and conspiracy theorists.
Starting point is 00:25:06 The same site claimed that a University of North Carolina professor was responsible for the death of a woman at the Unite the Right rally held in August 2017 in Charlottesville, Virginia. He wasn't. So, still a white guy. So, anyways, it's just, it's, uh, embarrassing what, what, for him to come out is, I mean, good luck trying to, I love it. It puts the Dems in a weird position because he kills babies like they love, but, but the racist thing, it's, it's worse than killing a baby of any color.
Starting point is 00:25:40 Uh, Northam's landslide victory in 2017 was interpreted as a furious backlash against Trump, driven in large part by Democratic accusations of the Republican Party's inherent racism, which is total nonsense. The Democrats brought you slavery, they brought you the KKK, they are the fucking party if you read and do your
Starting point is 00:25:58 homework. Inherent racism and the hideous display of indisputable racism during the violence in Charlottesville. A Democratic group's ad depicted a black pickup truck with a Confederate flag and Ed Gillespie. That's the guy that Northam beat to become governor. But do you guys remember this commercial? This is to me, you can sum up the Democrat, the people say they don't have a message, they don't have a philosophy. Yeah, they do. Identity politics. Watch this commercial.
Starting point is 00:26:26 It's trying to,berg in Duel. His first movie about a giant truck. Oh, look, Gillespie sticker on it. They hate minority kids. Can you imagine? This is the guy that did Blackface. Come on. Where are they running to?
Starting point is 00:27:13 Pelosi's house is up the street. I love it. They're running. They're running. Is this what Donald Trump and Ed Gillespie mean by the American dream? No, it isn't, you dumb cunt. The fund paid for and is responsible for the content of this advertisement. Is it? Who? Satan was responsible for it? You fucking lying...
Starting point is 00:27:36 You're a wormy cocksucker, you know that? Can you imagine? That's the fucking ad. That is the ad. Gillespie was painted as the racist. Oh, because the website that put it up is a right wing, as opposed to Vox, which is right down the center. So that's the big takeaway, though. They find blackface more offensive than infanticide. That was the big takeaway for me.
Starting point is 00:28:03 And good luck running on it. They're going to run on that in 2020. And they call Reagan a racist. They call George Bush Sr. a racist. They call George W. a racist. Bill Clinton, I'm going to give him credit. He did a State of the Union once and he actually said this, white people
Starting point is 00:28:21 have a right to fear black crime. He actually said that and he was allegedly a rapist so it's all confusing some really clean-cut people in politics uh let's go to Wyatt in uh Dallas Wyatt welcome to the show how are are you? Go Patriots. Oh, hello. I called a couple weeks ago. We had a brief argument, and then the call ended. Yeah. But I'm just calling to talk about the whole blackface thing.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Yeah. I mean, yeah, no one's career should be destroyed by stuff that has happened in their past and stuff. And people should be given a second chance. But this guy screwed a second chance up. Well, people should. People's careers can be destroyed. I mean, if you, you know, if they find out that you're a rapist or you killed a kid or whatever, they find a skeleton in your attic of a six-year-old boy.
Starting point is 00:29:21 I mean, that should end your career. But, yeah, I mean. Yeah, it's all contextualized and stuff. Yes, that's right. But this guy, you know, this guy's clearly lying and stuff. And nothing's led me to believe that he's any less of a racist now
Starting point is 00:29:36 than he is in the past just due to his lying and his bullshitting. I know. That's the other thing that was embarrassing that they, after something like this comes out, they're like,
Starting point is 00:29:44 but I'm a changed person, which in a fair world, you know, you know, Michael Vick was drowning puppies and fucking belly laughing. But, you know, after something like this comes out,
Starting point is 00:29:56 Oh, I'm a, I'm a changed person. Look at my resume now. And, and I'm watching him and listening to him and looking at him. He almost, I could actually hear him like being the clan.
Starting point is 00:30:07 He, he made a mess of it even worse. Didn't he, Wyatt? I mean, he dug even a deeper hole. He did. He screwed up. He needs to resign or whatever. I think he should be done now. Like he had his chance to make it better and he screwed that up and stuff.
Starting point is 00:30:22 It's like, you know, you know, James Gunn. James Gunn. Yeah, he got fired from directing the third Gardens of the Galaxy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because of some tweets that showed up. Yes. And I just, I mean, this guy hadn't been saying bad stuff for a while. And even those tweets weren't that bad at all.
Starting point is 00:30:41 They were jokes. They weren't actual promoting pedophilia or were jokes. They weren't, you know, actual, like, you know, promoting pedophilia or whatever it was that they said it was. Well, I mean, that guy... No, I remember, and he joked about saying pedophilia is funny
Starting point is 00:30:53 or kids should be fucked or something. And again, you know, you have to hold up the mirror. You'd never find a director in Hollywood who's Republican, but if he ever said something like that, there wouldn't even be a discussion.
Starting point is 00:31:05 But thank you for the call, Wyatt. Appreciate it, buddy. Yeah, this guy is made such a, I was getting, I was getting, my face was getting warm. I was actually getting red-faced for him, which is ironic because it was a blackface story and he's lying straight face.
Starting point is 00:31:22 A lot of faces. He's a two-face fuck. Let's go to Kyle in Detroitroit the history of blackface kyle said he invented it kyle uh your thoughts well sometimes blackface kind of offends me because i grew up a stone's throw away from uncle tom's cabin which is also the underground, or the end of it, in Canada. Yeah. Okay? And I also grew up listening to a man named Al Jolson. Al Jolson, also formerly known as Asai Jolson,
Starting point is 00:31:53 was a Jewish kid that was the biggest singer in the world in the 20s, 30s, 40s, up until he died. I still have his album. The man sang with half a lung. I like his old stuff. But he would go on Blackface. Yes. With Jolson, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:05 Al Jolson. Yes. But the thing that's a little known fact that some people don't know is that he would go out in blackface for a reason, which was because none of his black musician friends that were the best, the best that he loved and respected were allowed to go on stage so that's why he went in blackface so like forgive me to get a little offended by it and i would challenge your boys in the booth there look that shit up make sure that it's correct but uh but that's what i've read that's what i've been raised to believe and uh like i said i grew up a stone's throw away from a little
Starting point is 00:32:43 place north buxton ontario yeah which is fucking the end of the underground railroad well i can talk to people i need to run up with black but i'm big white fucking dutch jew he's a dutch jew um i can uh i i can top that and i'm not kidding you my my sister bought a house a few years ago. I went there for Thanksgiving in Andover, Mass. And Harriet Tubman's Underground Railroad ran through her house. So I said, I'm not eating here. No.
Starting point is 00:33:14 But that's true. Ran through her house. No, I know you're fucking joking, though. Of course. But let me ask Kyle. So it's a little bit weird. Go ahead. Let me ask you this, though, Kyle.
Starting point is 00:33:28 I hear black people going, you don't know the pain and the harm. I don't buy that for a second. Today's black person looks at that and goes, yeah, fucking white people are racist. It rolls off their back. Don't give me this shit. It hurts them emotionally, and I'm not buying it. Well, I think what it boils down to, in a nutshell, is that the people with the least amount of free speech is not a black man. It's not a Hispanic. It's not anyone other than a white dude.
Starting point is 00:33:58 A white dude, specifically. I said the other day, a new report shows that climate change is actually being caused by white penises. More at 11. Like, it's crazy. Like, everything is everybody's fault. It's white, dude. Well, yeah, I've been saying that for years. Hey, thanks. But that isn't the way that it was, like, growing up.
Starting point is 00:34:11 No. I mean, it wasn't perceived that way. No. But the media and the Internet, I think, amplifies it. By the way, stay on the Internet. And the Democrat Party. Thank you, Kyle. Great call, buddy.
Starting point is 00:34:21 I got to move along. Got a lot of calls here. But this whole shit, shit oh it's harmful and and and and and oh god you know i as long i'll say this again and i was i i said that about political correctness i said it on tough crowd in the early 2000s it was created to silence one person straight white males especially christian and they go well how do you i go okay do you know any fucking do you know any fucking, do you know any TV or radio personalities that get fired because they said something too liberal?
Starting point is 00:34:51 No, you don't. Stop having the internal conversation, you dope. Doesn't exist. It was created to shut down one thing. Look, the Democrat party made a pact with the devil a long time ago. But they saw that if we call these white, because Republican Party is mostly white, if we label them racists and bigots, and it's worked forever. But then it took Trump, big Patriots fan,
Starting point is 00:35:17 producers, it took to start calling them out on this bullshit. Reagan didn't, Bush didn bullshit. Reagan didn't. Bush didn't. GW didn't. They would turn their cheeks and it'd get worse and fucking worse.
Starting point is 00:35:30 And the big lie has become the reality. Get what I'm saying? Trying to show off my tie. It cost me $11. Andrew in West Virginia wants to talk about blackface. And if any state knows about blackface, I got to say it's the Mountaineers. Andrew.
Starting point is 00:35:52 We had a senator that was. Yeah, you hear me? Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, we had a senator that was in the Ku Klux Klan. And Obama went to his funeral. You're talking about Bill Clinton was just trying to... Senator Byrd?
Starting point is 00:36:10 Yes. Yeah, he was in the Ku Klux Klan. I know. He headed it. Bill Clinton... Yeah. Yeah. Well, I just wanted to call
Starting point is 00:36:18 because we had that black exit party thing with Candace Owen and there was only like five black people there but i you know i i still think there's some positive to take away from that maybe maybe this might help wake up some black people and and and say you know look the democratic party they ain't they ain't for you they aren't they're looking out for you they're looking out for themselves
Starting point is 00:36:40 they just want to use you for a vote to make money and maybe maybe this turns them around i don't know i'm not saying you know trump's gonna wake up half of the population but i mean you know he got nine percent yeah what do you think uh i think thank you for the call andrew i'll answer it uh i think that's not gonna happen it's not gonna wake up the blacks in the democrat party because if they haven't woken up to this fact by now there's been a thousand stories in the past years that could have woke them up to this fact um they like people who promise them free do you remember there was a clip of a girl when obama got elected a young black girl literally said
Starting point is 00:37:21 we're gonna get free gas now I ended up getting free gas. My stomach was a mess when he got elected. I was shitting my pants and I had colitis and a touch of Crohn's and I blame that on Obama. But no, I don't think they're ever going to win. As long as you have white liberals controlling the media, which they do, because that is the idiot box.
Starting point is 00:37:46 The TV is the devil. And apparently a lot of people believe whatever comes out of the TV must be true for some reason. Rich in Manassas, Virginia. Rich, welcome to the show, buddy. Hey, thanks, Nick. Appreciate it. See you in Arlington back in September. You rocked.
Starting point is 00:38:04 Oh, dude. Thank you for coming out. I appreciate that. Yeah, it, Nick. Appreciate it. See you in Arlington back in September. You rocked. Oh, dude. Thank you for coming out. I appreciate that. Yeah, it was fun. Anyway, karma, man, that's all I could say. You know, that disgusting ad you just showed, that was back in Northam. Yeah. And all I could say is what goes around comes around, you know? These people use this politics of personal destruction.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Yeah. And it's just coming to bite them in the butt. It is. this politics of personal destruction yeah and it's just coming to bite him in the butt it is but the next stage of this is going to be scary because that lieutenant governor uh fairfax he's worse than this guy you know we're trying to keep uh virginia from going totally blue it basically is now you're talking about the lieutenant gonna be worse the lieutenant governor is an african-american too right yeah well he's but he's from a politic standpoint he's a more progressive liberal than northam was yeah so i i think there's a little you know where did this picture come from i think it's got a little bit
Starting point is 00:38:55 to do with him talking you know out his ass on the uh abortion thing yeah and the the left trying to get away from him yeah and they get the real guy that they wanted because he wouldn't have won against Floyd Stewart. I've heard that story. Yeah, that's one of the theories out there, actually. All right, Rich, thanks for weighing in, buddy. Appreciate it. Virginia is for lovers of infanticide. What?
Starting point is 00:39:25 That's a nice bumper sticker with a baby with a fucking hatchet in his head. Doctor laughing with a stethoscope. But I just love the fact and the only part that bugs me, like I said,
Starting point is 00:39:38 the Democrats like Kamala Harris and the rest of these jerk-offs, Perez, and they get to pop out their chest and go, look, see? We walk the walk and talk the talk. Now you don't. Now you don't.
Starting point is 00:39:49 You do whatever's politically expedient. You have no moral compass. You never did. I'm trying to scroll down. I can't get that last call. I can't. Oh, there it is. Anyways, we'll take one more on this,
Starting point is 00:40:03 and then I'm going to move on. Craig in Provo, Utah. Craig, what's happening? Yeah. I just was going to say, I think it's,
Starting point is 00:40:13 it's super annoying as a white guy, you know, coming from Provo, Utah. Yeah. I never even had the chance to be racist one bit in my life. You know what I mean? You would deny the opportunity.
Starting point is 00:40:24 You would deny the opportunity to be racist? Oh, my God. There's no black people here in Utah. You got to move. You got to go to Danborne, Michigan. You can fucking go crazy. Yeah. Well, you know, I don't want my family to be raped by Muslims,
Starting point is 00:40:42 so we'll stay out of that one. He's painting with a broad brush, I'll tell you. Alright, good call, I think. I don't know what to fucking say to that one. Craig, take it easy, buddy. I gotta get to Utah. It's a very, it looks like a very pristine place. It'll be
Starting point is 00:40:59 ruined soon. I wanna get there you know before it's fucking ruined that's all i that's all i got to say um let's move on shall we to uh other things uh oh god let's stay on race different story only in the united states of America. Diversity is really working out beautifully, huh? Fucking melting pot. It's like throwing a Greek salad in with a fucking, somebody come up with some funny pot of pancakes. Mary Poppins, you know, that movie's racist now, don't you? I mean, they got soot all over their faces. They're obviously busting the balls of black people. you i mean they got soot all over their faces they're obviously busting the balls of black people it turns out those chimney sweeps are going into the breaking into black people's
Starting point is 00:41:51 homes and trying to fucking kill them the classic family film mary poppins classic to who fucking gay fellas and uh young girls has branded have been branded racist by uh oh, a white liberal, U.S. academic, I think it's white, who accuses Dame Julie Andrews of blacking up with soot while dancing with chimney sweeps. In a piece for the New York Times, this is what the New York Times wastes. You're such filthy, self-white-hating trash. Professor, we have a picture of him, Daniel Pollack Pelsner. I think I sent you.
Starting point is 00:42:32 Looks like Greg Gutfeld 20 years ago. Daniel Pollack Pelsner, I guess he kept his maiden name after he married his life partner, criticizes one of the film's iconic moments when Mary Poppins joins that fucking other racist, Dick Van Dyke, Bert, to dance on a rooftop. Were they tap dancing or just dancing? For the classic song, Step in Time, which is my wedding song, unfortunately.
Starting point is 00:43:01 I pissed off a few people at my wedding. If you're not familiar with the film, here it is. Side. Those Jews. Black y'all and I'm black y'all and I'm blacker than black
Starting point is 00:43:31 and I'm black y'all and I'm black y'all Of course you are. Your chimney's sweet for Christ's sake. This is what the professor writes at Daniel Pollack of Pelsner. When the magical nanny
Starting point is 00:43:43 played by Julie Andrews accompanies her young charges, Michael and Jane Banks, up their chimney, her face gets covered in soot, but instead of wiping it off, she gamely powders her nose and cheeks even blacker. I bet you Governor Northam loves this movie. Jerks off to it like porn. This might seem like an innocuous comic scene if Travers' novels didn't associate chimney sweeps, blackened faces with racial caricature. Don't touch me, you black heathen! A housemaid
Starting point is 00:44:12 screams and Mary Poppins opens the door. Oh my god, that is kind of racist. Son of a whore! When the dark figures of the chimney sweeps step uh, by the way, I've swept my chimney many times and i still come come out looking like joey buttafuoco i don't understand uh sweep step in time on a roof a
Starting point is 00:44:32 naval buffoon admiral boom shouts we're being attacked by hut and tots and orders his cannons to be fired at the cheeky devils oh my god they were shooting unarmed black people back then. With cannons, no less. We're in on the joke. He's talking about the movie. Such as it is. These aren't really black Africans. They're grinning white dancers in blackface. It's a parody of Black Menace.
Starting point is 00:44:56 It's even posted on a white nationalist website as evidence of the film's racial hierarchy. Ooh, so that makes it racist, I guess, huh? This fucking guy deserves to be beaten with an inch of his life, you with me? Or could I grab this microphone and I beat your brains out with it because that's what she deserves, that's what she deserves. Is that all you have to do, Polak Pelsner, with your
Starting point is 00:45:16 time, is to dig up shit like this? You think anybody other than me paid attention to this? Yes, so let's burn Mary Poppins. Didn't she fly with an umbrella? Am I confusing Peter yes no that's exactly and in the same movie they jump into a chalk drawing and then a chalk drawing yes a chalk drawing and dick van dyke dances with animated penguins so i don't know how seriously we're supposed to take this stuff i knew my crack staff would have seen
Starting point is 00:45:43 this i asked him about goodfell, they get this look on their face, and I tell them, fucking Mary Poppins, they know the producer, the director. It's a classic. It is a classic, and I don't like umbrellas. I've been hit in the eye many times on the subway by umbrellas, and I don't like broads that fly
Starting point is 00:45:57 unless I gave them drugs. Chim, chim, chim, chim, dirty-faced. Brr. Of course, you'd think we could all agree that this jerk-off, you know, is wrong. But no, not on social media. Fans were divided over the professor's remarks. One wrote online, I think this is a reach. Most of them, I guess, think like I did.
Starting point is 00:46:21 She was friends with a chimney sweep. When she went out and danced with him, she got soot on her face, if I recall this correctly. Yes, but what this guy is saying is they played it up. Mary Poppins wasn't flirting with blackface. It was soot in their face from being in a chimney. We're having this discussion.
Starting point is 00:46:41 A third said, this is a candidate for the stupidest New York Times article of all time. Bullshit. This is about 100th on the list. Excuse me. What kind of that boy is a fucking P-I-G dirty pig? That boy is a P-I-G pig.
Starting point is 00:46:58 A third, no. However, others agreed with some of the points raised. Oh, God. This is fucking. Uh-oh. Retard alert. Oh, God. This is fucking... Uh-oh, retard alert. Retard alert. Michael Schulman, I'm guessing Jewish fella,
Starting point is 00:47:10 writer for The New Yorker, said, this made me think about class, too. How Mary Poppins, a posh domestic, scrambles the class divide and introduces Jane and Michael to the much more fun world of pleb chimney sweeps. Further scrambled in the sequel when the Banks's are also in the poorhouse. Can somebody, I need a translator on that.
Starting point is 00:47:30 I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. Author Mr. Polak Pelsner posted online after his article was published. The chief reason I wrote this article is because I'm a jerk off and I don't like girls of sports. It was Super Bowl Sunday. I was playing my own nuts and I thought. He says the reason I wrote this article was the hope that a Disney executive would read it. I don't...
Starting point is 00:47:51 Take another look at the forthcoming Dumbo remake and ask if there was anything just a little bit racist they might want to rethink before it hits the big screen. So you're doing your friends at Disney, the most politically correct company on the planet, you're giving them a heads up that don't make fucking Dumbo races? Isn't that about an elephant?
Starting point is 00:48:08 Oh, it has African ties. It has to be racist. Can we just make a rule now? White people, whatever. White people, stay in your own lane. Don't make movies about black people. Then you'll be called racist. If you do, they'll say appropriate. Can we just have it out, please?
Starting point is 00:48:23 Let's get the muskets ready. I'm tired. Here's one thing I've learned about the alt-right, he says. After I wrote this article and received a zillion hate messages. Really? A zillion? That's quite a sight he's got going there. A zillion hate messages in response. They sure like Mary Poppins.
Starting point is 00:48:41 Yeah, they do, actually. Decent white people do like it. They didn't read into it. They don't look for racism in every fucking corner of the earth. You know why? Because they have lives. They have kids.
Starting point is 00:48:50 They have to get off to school in the morning. They work 80 hours a week and shit like that. When you sit in your fucking Ivy Towers pulling your prick
Starting point is 00:48:57 and just looking for something to inflame the to inflame the masses. Congratulations, Polak, Pelsnerner Jagoff. I never trust guys with 19 names.
Starting point is 00:49:15 Let's go to Travis in California. I'm a hypocrite about racism or something. Travis, go ahead. Nick. What up, mate? Hey. When did you consider yourself. What up, man? Hey. When did you consider yourself a hypocrite, buddy? How so?
Starting point is 00:49:34 I've been following you since Tough Crowd, Opie and Anthony, et cetera. Yes, sir. That's all you talk about is race. That's all I talk about is race? Well, obviously, that's all I talk about. Well, yeah, I would say probably 99%. Yeah, that's your topic of choice. Well, number one, that's...
Starting point is 00:49:52 And the left. Can I answer? You bring up the left. Oh, it's race this, race that. That's all you talk about is race. Yes, because I'm a white guy. I'm a fucking older... What's the matter?
Starting point is 00:50:03 Are you afraid of it, Travis? What does that have... What do you mean? I'm being blamed for everything. I'm an old white guy. I'm a fucking older. What's the matter? Are you afraid of it, Travis? What does that have to do? What do you mean? I'm being blamed for everything. I'm an old white guy. I'm being blamed for everything today. No, you're not. No, I'm not.
Starting point is 00:50:13 See, again, you're... You've been in California too long, Travis. You've got to wake up, man. Smell the coffee. I'm a toxic white European male. I'm the problem with the planet. That's not the point. The point is you're always talking about race.
Starting point is 00:50:24 So what? Why? What do you mean why? You can't answer the question. That's not the point. The point is you always talking about race. So what? What do you mean why? You can't answer the question. Why? What do you mean why? Because we're surrounded by it. That's all the country talks about. I talk about what's in the news. And that's what's in the news. That's not what all the country talks about. Me either. That's all you talk about. Me either. Well, you're wrong there. I talk about politics. I talk about sports. The first half hour of the show is about the Super Bowl. Yes, but even when it comes to sports or politics, you have to bring race into it. Yes, because...
Starting point is 00:50:51 You're talking about Japanese people playing football. Oh, my God. No, no, no. It's always something with race. Yes, it is, Travis, because sports... I'm just bringing up the point. It's always about race. Can I answer?
Starting point is 00:50:59 You always have to throw race into it. I know, and you're afraid of it because you live in California. The reason I... No, you can answer. Go ahead. Do you know what intersectionality is? That's where everything meets. I know you don't. Gender, fucking race.
Starting point is 00:51:13 That's all this country talks about. If you watch the news, that's all we talk... Yes, dude, I don't just talk about race, number one. I talk about a lot of shit on this show. But race and gender, that's 90% of the news. We're obsessed with it. The Democrats, that's what they traffic in. I'm a Republican.
Starting point is 00:51:31 So it's natural those stories are going to catch my eye. So, I mean, everybody's talking about it. I will say, since Trump's been elected, yes, a lot of it has been race talk. Yeah, there was no race talk. But that's only been the past couple of years. No, no. I'm saying your whole career, it's been race talk. Yeah, there was no race talk. That's only been the past couple of years. No, no. I'm saying your whole career. It's race.
Starting point is 00:51:47 I was on a show called Tough Crowd, which was about race. It wasn't race crowd. It was tough crowd. Patrice, Kevin Hart. Yeah, and Patrice didn't talk about race much. Did you call him out on it? And secondly, sports, by the way, is a microcosm of our society. It fucking intersects with gender and race. That's the world we live in. and secondly sports by the way is a microcosm of our society it fucking
Starting point is 00:52:05 it intersects with gender and race that's the world we live in I just talk about it you know I mean but there's a lot
Starting point is 00:52:12 of other shit on this show I talk about I know but don't be a hypocrite and sit there and say that's all the left
Starting point is 00:52:16 talks about I don't I say they traffic an identity politics I don't pit people against each other but that's what you do
Starting point is 00:52:22 I call them out on it Travis but they you're too dumb to argue with dude you're fucking politics. I don't pit people against each other. But that's what you do. I call them out on it, Travis. But they... You're too dumb to argue with, dude. You're fucking so stupid. That's what this show does. I pick the fucking some of the race headlines
Starting point is 00:52:35 and that's what everybody's talking about in politics. And this nonsense about this all started when Trump got elected. Yeah, there was no racial tension under Obama. You had the Harvard professor being stopped by the cops in Cambridge, and Obama called the cops stupid. We had Baltimore, the shooting, which was a bunch of shit in all black upper brass that ran Baltimore, who were the most hateful, racist, what was her name, the woman that was running at the mayor. We had Ferguson, which was based on a lie, hands up, don't shoot.
Starting point is 00:53:08 All that went on under Obama. You're too dumb to fucking understand. And I'm going to talk about the stories every day. But that's not all I talk about here. But so what if it was? What if it was? That's my choice. Change the channel or click your mouse.
Starting point is 00:53:26 Go to something that you can handle where people are talking about, oh, I don't know, fucking Kim Kardashian. Stuff that you, you know, that means absolutely nothing. I should be getting applauded by you about talking about this shit. You think it helps me and show
Starting point is 00:53:42 biz, a left-wing business, to talk about this stuff? You should be applauding me. Anyways, Jace. I was going to say, that's like saying Tom Brady made his career on throwing footballs. That's all he did. Tough crowd. That's what the show was about. You just happened to notice me because I talked about race more honestly than anybody on the panel.
Starting point is 00:54:03 And it only helped my career. By the way, I'm an entertainer. They're politicians. There's a fucking difference. But you should be applauding this. Unless you like it and you like comics, I don't talk about anything. Anyhow. Can I slip in a super chat? A super chat? Jesus jesus christ yes i hope it's not about race
Starting point is 00:54:27 on travis is gonna get mad at me it isn't travis call back by the way on another day we'll talk some more go ahead i'm a bills fan is from patrick door i'm a bills fan but i love new england style tough dudes who want to play d3 undrafted guys a lot also i got a useless i was called a useless fucker today at work I'm upset that that guy appropriated Asian male culture onto me How's he Appropriating Asian male culture by calling him a useless
Starting point is 00:54:54 Small penis joke I didn't hear you talk so fast dude He said small penis joke It was an impotence joke But his boss did what to him I don't know He said he bullied him didn't he i was called a useless fucker what's that got to do with asians is he asian i don't understand but anyhow um what
Starting point is 00:55:16 was the beginning of buffalo he's a bills fan but he likes the pats style no he made a great point there about uh d3 you know edelman kent state quarterback he's absolutely right that's when i joked around and said belichick could take a you know a team of asians and that's talking about race oh my aching stem go back and watch yes i'm gonna grab it you know any story that... What I talk about here, you'll see later tonight being talked about on all the cable networks. And I'm doing it first. Lowington in Austin, Texas says,
Starting point is 00:56:04 I noticed the show It's always sunny in philly they have done blackface several times no one called them out is that right lowington uh yeah man yeah yeah thanks for having me on nick you got it you're a little loud uh but yeah i got i got stock yeah i got stock here in texas uh uh when i joined the military i was in for i was in Fort Hood last. But anyways, so I've been a fan of the show for a very long time. Yes, sir. And, man, they do the black face a lot, man.
Starting point is 00:56:32 And nobody has called them out on that, which is fine. I don't think anybody should. Now, I have a different take on that. When I moved to the United States when I was 15, right, I was actually in high school here. I was 15, right? I was actually in high school here. And it was a huge change going to the, like, from the Brazilian history and slavery history to the American history. And I'm very familiar with Capoeira.
Starting point is 00:56:56 Yeah. Which is a Brazilian martial art. Well, I did Capoeira for six years in Brazil before I moved here. Ah. I did capoeira for six years in Brazil before I moved here. And, man, they had a stronghold in the jungle with over 100,000 slaves ready to fight, highly trained. They had a whole system of weaponry. They had scouts out in the jungle. But when I saw the American history, man, I opened the history book, and I see, like, one guy in a horse with, like, 1897 in a rifle that takes a whole minute to load watching 30 strong motherfuckers in the field and at some point i'm like wait a minute you
Starting point is 00:57:34 mean to tell me they only got one dude watching this guy and nobody's gonna take one for the team and i'm like wait a minute where's the's the fight? You know what I mean? What did they create? You know what I mean? So now, weakness is a problem in this country. There's a lot of weak people out there. You know what I mean? When you look at the Chinese, one of them, go ahead. Well, that I agree with.
Starting point is 00:57:59 Thank you for the call, Lovington. I have no idea what you're talking about. But something about guys in a field and a guy on a horse watching them. And that's true. The only part I did understand was, yeah, there are a lot of weak minded. They call politicians and and they're weak minded, you know, when it comes to, you know, especially the issue of fucking race. But that's all I got from that. I needed a translator.
Starting point is 00:58:23 All right, let's let's lighten it up. I don't want to talk about race, so let's change it to coffee. Man, 38-year-old Louis Williams spent the last four years working as the personal assistant of Ms. Linda Moore, executive president of the Danko engineering firm. Among his tasks as Ms. Moore's assistant, he was to take her phone calls, set her schedule, and bring her a cup of coffee
Starting point is 00:58:50 to her desk every day when she arrived at work. What a bitch. After a dispute with his boss this morning, Mr. Williams admitted in front of a dozen coworkers that he had ejaculated
Starting point is 00:58:59 in her coffee hundreds, hundreds of times. That boy is a P-I-G pig. According to Brian Little, an intern who witnessed the entire scene, Lewis Williams showed no remorse while he confessed his crime. He almost looked proud when he told her, I've been eating your shit for four years,
Starting point is 00:59:19 but all this time you've been drinking my cum. Guy's a poet. And then smiled and explained explained everything oh god this angry employee explained that he'd been putting extra cream in ms moore's coffee five days a week and over many years after his confession his colleagues called the police and mr williams was arrested on the site. Based on what? They do a DNA test of the fucking Mr. Copy?
Starting point is 00:59:50 How'd they... Why is this Keurig filter clogged again with pubes? A total of 910 criminal charges has been filed against him, including 860 charges of sexual assault. If found guilty on all charges, he could face up to 1,070 years in prison. What? Well, he looks all right.
Starting point is 01:00:16 That's what he, you hired that guy? You hired that guy. If I saw his resume, the first thing I'd look for is, did he ever jerk off on anybody's coffee? Just by looking at him. But 1,070 years, hold on a second. Guys who massacre schools don't even face that many.
Starting point is 01:00:36 For a little jizz-bopping? He has received exactly 454 days per ejaculation. He's already been sentenced? No, no, no. I mean, that's what he's going to get? Yeah, it would be 454 days for every single day he did it. But wouldn't he have to prove? I know he admitted it,
Starting point is 01:00:53 but he should just come out and fucking do what the governor did. Oh, that wasn't me. That was another guy. It was a guy in blackface jerking off. And she couldn't taste the difference? This half and half is a little salty can i speak to uh what's his name anytime fellas oh boy it's uh mr coffee it's a louis yeah that's his new name lewis williams uh lewis could you come in here why did you put tartar sauce in my coffee uh anyways a thousand and seventy years some of his colleagues have told reporters that he was
Starting point is 01:01:32 deeply misogynistic and found it humiliating to take orders from a woman all day well then get a new job you fucking dick make me a sandwich make me a. There he is. He's misogynist. His name's Louis Williams. I know. I just said that. Jesus Christ. What are you playing, Parcheesi in there? Some other employees, however, have suggested that Ms. Moore,
Starting point is 01:01:55 sounds like a bitch, was often aggressive, she is a bitch, dominating and verbally abusive with the accused, and he may have acted as some sort of self-defense. I don't know if you can go with self-defense. He stood his ground, and then he comes in her grounds. So fill it to the rim with brim. Chock full of nuts is the heavenly coffee.
Starting point is 01:02:25 Look at him. That's how he showed up for his fucking interview. Wearing a San Antonio tank top. Look at this fucking guy. He definitely wasn't getting laid. Some books you could judge. No, I mean, I tried it once from Boss I didn't like, but I was empty. I mean, I was out there banging.
Starting point is 01:02:42 I was bird-dogging chicks and chasing beaver like was supposed to be Jake and Columbus, Ohio Jake, what's up? What's up, what a great a great show today. You got dudes jizzing in coffee and saying it's for self-defense. You got guys talking about horses and fields. I thought somebody dropped acid in my coffee or something,
Starting point is 01:03:16 man. It's wonderful. And then you got this numbnuts calling you and he said, this is what they do. See, the Democrats, they're all about race, race, race, race race race race race race you're racist you disagree with me you're a biggie you're and then you talk about you talk about it and it's like oh nick why you got to bring up race bro they're they're they are out of their minds bro oh they they they have really especially on the west coast i'm afraid for my friends out
Starting point is 01:03:42 there the stupidity has been bringing it's been it's just been i mean since the early 50s when that new age psychology took over on the west coast and hate ashbury and all that they have butchered the issue of race to the point that you can't have a conversation because the starting point is is has been bastardized it's so out of whack that, you know what I'm saying? You can't even have a discussion about it. Yeah, I think their bullshit mask of tolerance and love and all that is kind of slipping off their ugly faces.
Starting point is 01:04:16 Is it me? Or have you noticed they're getting more blatant with who they really are is kind of coming out. Yes. They're having a trouble hiding. Yes.
Starting point is 01:04:24 And it's so funny. They want to blame Trump for all this racial, whatever, intolerance that supposedly picked up the last two years. Meanwhile, it's a byproduct of him exposing them as the true racists. That's what's really happening. That's what made me laugh, is he calls complaining about you talking about race and then gets that dig in on trump which was completely about race his race it's like these people are just the biggest hypocrite dishonest stumbags they just are getting worse and worse they really are
Starting point is 01:04:57 and and and thanks for the call great call jake uh it's for, I can't wait for 2020. I really can't because Trump's exposed them for who the fuck they are and they want to go further left. The economy is the best it's ever been in this country. I'm sure that could change before November of 2020, but what
Starting point is 01:05:19 are you going to, they want to fucking get rid of healthcare, replace it for, you know, fucking one size fits all, which has never worked. They want to fucking get rid of healthcare, replace it for, you know, fucking one-size-fits-all, which has never worked. They want to raise your tax. All the shit that Trump just accomplished. They're always weak on defense because they're lib fucking faggots.
Starting point is 01:05:35 They have no idea how to fucking defend the country. And, I mean, borrowing a real fuck-up. Obviously, we have the Mueller report that's going to come out but I mean Jesus Christ it makes me so mad
Starting point is 01:05:53 I want to spank it in somebody's coffee chili dog coffee like Boosty asked a good question about what's going to happen to those black Israelites that shouted down the Covington High School kids. I think they'll all be drafted by the NFL or the NBA. Boosty? All right, see you later, Boosty.
Starting point is 01:06:21 Boosty A. On a not so funny note but again no race here can't help it if I lived in Utah I could understand what do you got
Starting point is 01:06:33 what Super Chat oh this was fucking caught on caught on tape Queen shooting a man is killed in fight at subway station uh this stuff is increasing under comrade de blasio as it did under lindsey and every other fucking mayor until uh you know kotch uh who's the black guy that came in after kotch i can't even remember and then uh giuliani came in as sheriff and cleaned it up. But it's all being undone.
Starting point is 01:07:06 Six shots rang out during a fight on a Queen subway platform early Sunday afternoon, sending strap hangers running for cover as a man lay dying and his attackers fled on foot. According to the police and cell phone video of the incident, the victim was struck in the head and died at the 90th Street Elmhurst Ave station where the altercation spilled out of the Manhattan Bound 7 train shortly before quarter one in the afternoon. There were no arrests on Sunday as officers continued searching for a motive and for two men seen attacking the victim.
Starting point is 01:07:37 A fight broke out is what happened and it spilled onto the platform. The graphic cell phone video captured the victim struggling with his attack. Here's the video. Welcome to New York, Taurus. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I could hear Ocasio-Cortez screaming in the background. Do you fucking believe that being that? It's not working, folks.
Starting point is 01:08:28 As Bill Hicks once said, the experiment's not working. Yay for diversity. Imagine getting in a fistfight and thinking you got to take a gun. The gun. They don't know if he pulled it off the guy or they don't know if the guy who did the shooting was his gun they don't even fucking know that but but like it says in the article and i thought this too i was surprised there's always cops around whether they're on the platform if they're not they're downstairs at the bottom of the steps usually you know uh at these subway stops especially the seven train. Just disgusting.
Starting point is 01:09:05 I was thinking at first they were fighting and they were drunken people said, but der beast. But why you don't? Whose cell phone video appeared on Twitter. Once the guy started shooting, I was scared. The man was pronounced dead on the scene. Officials haven't identified the victim
Starting point is 01:09:24 because he was not carrying identification. Police do not know whether the men knew each other was pronounced dead on the scene. Officials haven't identified the victim because he was not carrying identification. Police do not know whether the men knew each other before they met on the train that pulled into the station on the border of Jackson Heights and Elmhurst. Investigators also trying to determine whether the incident involved gang ties. I doubt it.
Starting point is 01:09:37 I mean, it might. It doesn't have to in New York. That's the point. You keep your yap shut on the subway. I've learned that. Eyes fucking straight ahead. But then I started taking Pilates and I was getting a little cocky.
Starting point is 01:09:50 I was fucking just going, what the fuck you looking at, yo? I got a friend who actually was on that train. When it happened? Yeah, he was like in the, he was in the car. He wasn't anywhere near it, but he heard the shots.
Starting point is 01:10:00 And all he said was, it's been a while since somebody got killed on the 7 during lunch. Well, I know you say that kind of jokingly, but a fucking person actually says that. This is how bad it is. Charlie Hernandez, 19, a student at the School of Cooperative Technical Education,
Starting point is 01:10:18 this was his quote. This happening is surprising because we do have a lot of stabbing or attacks that happen here, but an actual shooting is a rarity. Doesn't that come to the Taurus? But you know, de Blasio loosened it. You can piss in public. You can fucking
Starting point is 01:10:33 you know. Am I blaming de Blasio? Yeah, I am actually. Crime's ticking up and uh but um, it doesn't have to be gang affiliated. That's the thing in New York. This shit, you know. People carry insurance money on them in New York. That's when somebody, you know what that is?
Starting point is 01:10:55 When somebody holds you up sometimes and if you don't have money, they'll kill you. So people actually carry insurance. In other words, here's $5. Don't shoot me. It's a beautiful city, though. We have Broadway and plays and all kinds of museums. To be honest with you, I mean, I love the energy and shit, and I love that I was doing the comedy. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here.
Starting point is 01:11:23 It's the most diverse city in the world. Yeah, it seems like it. How's that working? Police Transit Chief Ed Delatore said, there's just one crime for every million riders that pass through the system each day. It was the first coming on the subway in more than a year. That's knowing things are bad.
Starting point is 01:11:42 You're bragging about that. Fights are common on the subway, but the video capture a rare instance of deadly violence anyways mr bister said the victim and his assailants were fighting for control of the gun and the men trying to break it up were asking a city transit worker to help good luck with that but mr bister said the worker refused to step in he probably could have got that gun in his hand and that person would not have lost his life he said well or he could have got shot i mean but i i think you're supposed to help i don't know but they're looking for two assailants uh another video appears to show a fourth man wearing a bandana over his nose and
Starting point is 01:12:21 mouth while tugging the victim. That sounds gangish. Or the guy just had some fashion sense. I don't know. An older woman carrying a small rolling suitcase helps peel him from the fight, and one of the men breaking it up pushes him against the train. Anyways, the worst story I heard, it reminded me, when I first moved to New York, there was a couple here from, like, Idaho. They were here on vacation a mom a dad and the kids and a son and some scumbag won't bring race into it started fucking hassling the mom and and tried to mug her
Starting point is 01:13:02 pulled a gun or something and the fucking son jumps in and gets shot to death. Can you imagine the head visiting? Yes, it happens in other cities, I know, but we're supposed to be more civilized than that. Let's go to John in Seattle, a beautiful city. Haven't been there in a long time have i john what's up yeah man i just wanted a quick pop shot you know uh it's snowing out here
Starting point is 01:13:38 dude and these people are gone it's fucking out of control, man. It's snowing in Seattle? Yeah. Oh, my God. It's snowing out here, dude. For the first time in, like, years, bro. And these people are out of control, man. They're fucking sliding across the road, dude. Cars are going, like, sideways and shit like that on the intersection. Well, that's actually good, because Seattle always leads the nation in suicides. This will make it easier. You just fucking, you know, make a hard life. Well, that's actually good, because Seattle always leads the nation in suicides. This will make it easier.
Starting point is 01:14:06 You just fucking, you know, make a hard life. Yeah, yeah. We got a problem with the heroin and all that stuff. Now you get snow on top of it. Oh, my God. Yeah, man. So that's all I want to say, dude. All right, Joe. Keep it up, dude. You're doing a good job, dude. Thanks, brother.
Starting point is 01:14:23 All right, Joe. People don't drive too well here in the snow. It's kind of a... I've been all over the country, folks. I've rented cars all over the country and fucking here. I'm behind on the Sawmill Parkway last week. It's like an inch of snow. Broad's driving like it's olive oil and butter.
Starting point is 01:14:40 It's water. Get your foot on the gas, you cheese eater. Anyways. Finally, tonight here on Meet the Press, White Castle is taking reservations for Valentine's Day if you guys are looking not to get laid. Honey, look what I got for you. A gift certificate for 19 pork slideys, you fat pig, you. Love is in the air,
Starting point is 01:15:07 as will be the aroma of onion grill sliders. White Castle's now accepting reservations for its 28th annual Valentine's Day dinner, which makes me laugh because I tweeted out last year, I tweeted out a couple years ago, it was my 15th wedding anniversary, and I said, I tweeted, it's my 15th wedding anniversary, I'm taking, I tweeted, it's my 15th wedding anniversary.
Starting point is 01:15:25 I'm taking my wife to dinner. Fuddruck is to let you bring wine, right? And boy, did that not go anywhere. I, uh, imagine taking your girl to, again, White Castle's fucking delicious, but that's not the point. I got to believe. I don't care if you're living below the poverty line. If you're a guy and you say to your girlfriend, I'm taking a fucking White Castle. I wouldn't fall asleep with no pants on.
Starting point is 01:15:51 That's all I'm saying. Invite a beloved to crave it to spend a special evening at White Castle. Not the White House. White Castle. With dinner, we'll feature a table-side service. Excuse me, waitress. How are you coming on those sliders? The dinner will take place on February 14th from 4 to 9 p.m. Many cravers have shared stories with us about meeting the loves of their lives
Starting point is 01:16:16 or forming lifelong friendships at our restaurants. Yeah, that happens in prison, too. I just saw her wolf down a bag of uh 21 sliders and i knew it was love at first sight i could see her fucking the sodium blowing her ankles up like canned hams and i had to have that pig so we look forward to hosting this special event every year to help our fans build even more memorable moments well good for you white castle again it's not gonna help anybody get laid but uh you're doing the right thing. Make me a sandwich!
Starting point is 01:16:49 Make me a fucking sandwich! That's a good note to end on, huh? A nice fucking wet one. Yes, that's right. Super chat? Super chat. Go ahead. Alright. Big Bear's Hot Takes says, Nicky Boy, was it just just me or would you have much more preferred maroon 5 to come out in clan outfits to offset the beyonce debacle yeah that would have
Starting point is 01:17:12 well that might be going a little far you know the governor northern thing ruined that but i didn't even watch the halftime i just read about it just reading about it and all the fake controversy and how maroon five is too well i was so turned off by all of it uh adam levine got to take his shirt off that's what he you know it's like jesus christ he's supposed to be a heart where did he grow up do you probably know ryan though i don't know but that's a win in my book what's a win it him taking a shirt off you have a poster of him in your fucking bedroom i used to in high school did you yes ah jesus i didn't even watch it anyways yeah he comes out like he's a fucking badass rap he probably got the tattoos to give him some street cred i don't know uh hey he's got a great career he's fucking famous gets laid a lot good for him but big boy disappointed me i thought he would get down on his knees and whatnot did any of that go on
Starting point is 01:18:09 i didn't watch any of the halftime i didn't watch the commercials this year because i know what's coming here's a grown white man beating the crap out of a retarded six-year-old girl black girl then they try to sell you soap. Any more chats? No more. That's it. Well, that's it for today, folks. I had a ball here.
Starting point is 01:18:32 Monday, I always have the energy. Slept about three hours last night. Oh, by the way, I get shingles in my armpit. I've always had what they call minor shingles when my skin got really sensitive in my scalp. It feels like, why are you guys laughing? What's so funny? It's just the way you said it was funny.
Starting point is 01:18:51 He goes, oh, by the way, I have shingles. By the way, I have shingles. This doesn't involve race, although I'm blaming the blacks for my shingles. Okay, Travis, the blacks gave me these shingles. I know they did. They caused the stress. No. Okay, Travis, the blacks gave me these shingles. I know they did. They caused the stress. No, but yeah, so I've always had like minor where my skin hurts, but I never got the blisters and all the gross shit.
Starting point is 01:19:13 Well, about 10 days ago, before I went out to Rogan, I looked at my armpit and I had these like red bumps and shit, and then I worked out and I aggravated them, and then I, oh my God, I lifted my armpit and it looked like Papa John's had delivered me a fucking meat lovers and just blisters and all kinds of shit. So they're starting to dry up,
Starting point is 01:19:34 but it's an unofficial diagnosis, but I went online, looked at all the pictures, just made me hungry for pizza, but it's gross. Anyways, they're starting to dry up and stuff. And I worked out today for the first time. I was trying to let the stuff go away for a week. So I'm dying is what I'm trying to tell you. I'm 57.
Starting point is 01:19:51 I got shingles. Pretty sure cancer or the heart attack's next. All right. That's it for today. Remember, you guys think it. I will say it. Nice having you aboard. And we'll see you tomorrow.
Starting point is 01:20:01 Take care of yourselves. We'll see you next time.

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