The Nick DiPaolo Show - NSA Whistleblower: "Tucker Being Spied On" | Nick Di Paolo Show #563

Episode Date: June 29, 2021

Trump bashes Bill Barr. Sunrise movement activists. More airplane nonsense.

Hey guys, this show, The Nick DiPaolo Show, is a place you can come to for an hour each day and know that the truth is going to be spoken. Sometimes it's politics, sometimes it's comedy, oftentimes it's both. Any way that you cut it, though, it's always honest, unfiltered, and free from the bias you'll find pretty much everywhere else, and certainly all day long by mainstream media. Free speech lives here, and it always will. I want to thank you all for supporting the show,

and I want to encourage you to contribute on the comicsgym.com page or visit nickdip.com and click on Contribute. Your contributions are what keeps this show going and what has helped us now put the show on Roku, Apple TV, Android, Amazon, and mobile devices. Again, donate on thecomicsgym.com or at nickdip.com and know that 100% of your contribution comes right directly to this show. I thank you guys again. That was God punishing him for spending $40,000 on rims. Hello everybody, welcome to the big show. Oh boy, is this great.

Oh, is it ever. How y'all doing? The Antichrist. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood. Ha. What's going on? Wow, a lot of sodium last night, apparently. I made out like a three-pound Reese's cup told you that right there's about two bites left uh

anyway anyway hey uh real quick before I forget if you guys even if you're not kiss fans the rock band kiss there's a great documentary on Netflix right now um about the band it is fucking fascinated I saw them when I was 14, which is 1976, the Providence Civic Center. And it's funny because I thought they had been around a while, you know, when I saw them and shit. They broke big in 74. So they were like still on the up the fucking money they made. Mama mia. And then all the, it's just, it's very interesting.

money they made, mama mia. And then all the, it's just, it's very interesting. It sums up that Paul Stanley, real name is Stanley Eisen, by the way, and you know who, Gene Simmons, who's, I can't even pronounce his Israeli name, but they are two smart Jews who can play music. Well, some people might argue that, but I just laughed that they stayed on the straight and narrow as much as they could with Peter Criss, the drummer, dumb Italian, and Ace Frehley, who was just, those guys bailed first because, well, they were getting a little offended that, you know, they were putting out action figures, which I don't believe. But Ace Frehley was on drugs, and so was Peter Crud. They wouldn't even show up to rehearsal, and when they did,

they're fucking staggering around. The same shit that bands go through. But I just laughed at the dynamic of the two smart Jewish guys just making these other guys look like nitwits. But, Nick, why'd you have to bring that into it? I don't know. They're very successful. But Nick, why'd you have to bring that into it?

I don't know. They're very successful. And boy, when you're 14 years old and see that concert, man, like a childhood rape. I can't get it out of my mind. It was terrific. I used to fight with my buddy Nathan Emerson, by the way, who was a Springsteen fan. And this is in like, what, sixth or seventh grade. And he was right, obviously,

as far as musicians and shit, but, you know, he used to go, that's fucking garbage. Well, not really. Some of it is, but whatever. You can go see Springsteen. Anyways, I remember my brother-in-law in a Volkswagen Beetle.

We were heading to Providence, and we were drinking the whole way down, because that's what you did in the 70s. You got behind the wheel and had a few cold ones. Then he was trying to piss into a Budweiser bottle while he was driving. Ruined my shirt. Anyways, let's get to

it. Watch the documentary is all I'm saying. One other thing. I'm going to call my cable company today. Somebody's going to get paralyzed from the neck down over there. I've had the NFL playoffs set on my DVR for the last, what, month and a half? And it's recorded every minute of every game. So I'm doing my preparing for the show last night thinking, hey, the game's recording.

I'll get to watch it without commercials. And I get downstairs, and it's nowhere to be fucking found. No explanation. There's two fucking teams left. How about if you just put an NHL? Shouldn't that do it?

Nowhere to be found. Didn't record it. No explanation. I'm like, is it because, is it because it's, it used to say what I put on was NHL playoffs.

Now it's NHA finals. Please tell me that's not what it is. Please tell me NHL should be the default word. Anyways. Fucking furious. Ended up watching some old Bob Ross painting show. Instead of

people smacking each other with sticks and knocking their teeth out, I'm watching this fucking hippie using Van Dyke Brown to do the base of a tree. Oh shit, this one's running out. And I left the other one home. I knew it.

Alright, let's get to it, Matt. What do you say? What's up? Oh, and our Are You Dog Styling Me Me segment tonight, this is huge, folks. Not that it's a shock, because this shit started under Obama. In my, oh, probably way before Obama, let's be honest. The first guy to get caught was Obama.

NSA spying on Tucker Carlson tonight. That's his show. NSA spying on Tucker Carlson tonight. That's his show. Tucker Carlson says a whistleblower told him that he is being spied on by the NSA and that he filed a FOIA, Freedom of Information Act, request for information. The Biden administration, this is Tucker's end, is spying on us. We have confirmed that is what he said. And imagine fucking Biden, he don't even know what's going on. What are we doing? Yeah, he don't even know. What's going on

right now? We're helping you. Carlson made the accusations on his show Monday night, saying he had been contacted by a whistleblower who had information that came from his texts and emails, meaning Tucker's texts and emails, regarding a story his team was working on. It came directly from that. It's not just political protest, Tucker said, that the government is spying on, which is true, man. Eddie, your phone is tapped. Listen, I'm not going to use this line anymore.

Go to Chen Liu's. I'll call you there in five minutes. They can't run a tap that fast. So long, everybody. Chen Liu's, right next to the that fist. So long, everybody. Can't lose. Right next to the West Wing. I've been there. Anyways, let's take a look at Tucker. And again, it didn't shock me. What's his name? Who was the attorney general under Obama? Eric Holder. Remember he broke into Rosen, this guy Rosen that worked for Fox News tapped into his computer somehow.

The left are just filthy whores, and I'm sure the right did it too. But right now, it's the left. You're in charge. Fuck you. Here's Tucker. Yesterday, we heard from a whistleblower within the U.S. government who reached out to warn us that the NSA, the National Security Agency, is monitoring our electronic communications and is planning to leak them in an attempt to take this show off the air. Now, that's a shocking claim, and ordinarily we'd be skeptical of it. It's illegal for the NSA to spy on American citizens. It's a crime. It's not a third world country. Things like that should not happen in America. But unfortunately, they do happen,

and in this case, they did happen. The whistleblower, who is in a position to know, repeated back to us information about a story that we are working on that could have only come directly from my texts and emails. There's no other possible source for that information, period. The NSA captured that information without our knowledge and did it for political reasons. The Biden administration is spying on us. We have confirmed that. Jesus, if they can get to him. Hope they don't go through my history. I was watching penis enlargement operations on YouTube last night. I'm not kidding. And not that I need one. I'm just, as Lenny Clark said, Lenny Clark had a great life.

He goes, hey, I'm not knocking any walls down with this thing, but I'm not hurting the national average either. But I was watching. Oh, my God. They might as well take a fucking, you know what, a carrot peeler. They peel your skin. Oh, fuck. And I can watch shit like that. I don't mean dicks.

I mean bloody shit. But anyhow, can you imagine? Can you imagine the government? What more evidence do you need to know these motherfuckers? I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore. And you know why they're picking his show? That's why I keep telling you guys it's the best show on TV. He lays it

out. I don't know where he gets his sources, but he lays it out so eloquently, even if you're not that bright. Make a hell of a president, in my opinion. In response, Carlson said he had filed the FOIA Act for the information gathered by

the feds on him and his show. Like he said, we don't expect to hear much back. That's the way this usually goes. Only Congress can force transparency on the intelligence agencies, and they should do that immediately. I'm sure they'll get right to it. The NSA did not immediately respond to the post post requests for comment, nor did the White House. I bet you Biden doesn't even know about it. Fucking Obama is the man behind the curtain. This is his fucking third term. You can bet that.

You can bet that on AOC's delicious titties and her big horse teeth. Hey, there's some good skunk weed in this. Anybody else like the smell of skunk? Ever smell it like when it's real close to your house? It almost smells like coffee, like rich coffee kind. You know what I mean, man? That's what he's talking about i'm serious skunk weed smells like skunk let's get to it speaking of skunk weed my favorite president of all time donald trump bashes the bullshitter bill barr i forgot to tell you to pull up a picture

of elton john that's what we used to do. Bill Barlicks, just like Elton fucking John. Anyways, yeah, Trump let him have it. Huge, huge update. We're going to take our laughter. It's a beautiful street. I built it with my own hands. Trump just released a statement unloading on former AG William Barr. He said this to Barr.

Y'all fat fuck, look at you. Doesn't he look like Elton John? Trying to figure out the lyrics to a song about his life partner Stewie. This statement comes after it came out that Barr claimed Trump's claims of voter fraud were bullshit. This guy's another two-faced cocksucker. You're a real crumbum. In the statement, Trump exposed that Barr didn't investigate fraud and laid out many of the reasons he should have.

Here's the statement that he actually put up. I'll read it as fast as I can. I don't want to bore you people. Rhino, Republican in name only, former Attorney General Bill Barr, this is from Trump, failed to investigate election fraud and really let down the American people. Even the scam that took place in Georgia of ballot stuffing on camera, he couldn't see what was wrong with it.

Just like he failed to understand the Horowitz report and let everyone down with respect to getting a timely investigation, what happened to the Dunham report? All on the corruption of the Obama-Biden administration. That's a great question. It's people in authority like Bill Barr that allow the crazed radical left to succeed. And other writers of the Republican Party, I can't do it,

are being used in order to try to convince people that election was legitimate when so many incredible facts have now come out to show conclusively that it wasn't. That's the one that gets me the most when they go baseless. He came in with a semi-bang and went out with a whimper. Earlier in his term, Bill Barr went ballistic on CNN with Wolf Blitzer warning Democrats were changing election rules to flood the system with mail-in ballots that, as a matter of logic, are very open to fraud. They are, and Bill Barr did nothing about it. If there was no

fraud, why are Arizona, Georgia, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and other states spending so much time and effort on exposing the fraud? We already know that. And here's some of the shit we've found out so far. This is, again, Trump's letter. 101,789 obsolete voters on the rolls in Georgia, including 18,486 dead people. Ballot batches off by 17.5% in Maricopa County, Arizona. Massive chain of custody problems with drop boxes in Georgia, missing hundreds of thousands of records for the months after the election. Nothing to see here. Thousands of ballots wheeled in through the back door in Fulton County days after the election. Double-feeding ballots in Fulton County, Georgia. Nearly 200,000 illegal, excuse me, indefinitely confined votes in Wisconsin that violated voter ID law.

Cash for vote. Sorry. God damn it. Cash for votes scheme in Nevada. Illegal alien votes. Election law changes were not authorized by the state legislature, which is mandated by the U.S. Constitution. You remember that thing. And much more, Trump says. He went on to say, if he felt this way, why did Barr say he was greatly honored and proud to have played a role in the many successes and

unprecedented achievements you have delivered for the American people? In the final letter he wrote to me, he said, few could have weathered these attacks, much less forge ahead with a positive program for the country. Now it was revealed that Barr was being pushed to tell lies about the election by Mitch McConnell, another beauty, he says, who was worried about damaging the Republicans' chances in the Georgia runoff. What really damaged the Senate Republicans was allowing their races to be rigged and stolen, and worse, the American people to no longer believe their vote matters because spineless rhinos like Bill Barr and Mitch McConnell did nothing, end of quote. Oh, more. All right, this is the last thing I'll read. Bill Barr was a disappointment in every

sense of the word, besides which Barr, who was Attorney General, shouldn't be speaking about the president. Instead of doing his job, he did the opposite and told people within the Justice Department not to investigate the election. Just like he did with Mueller Report and the cover-up of Crooked Hillary and Russia, Russia, Russia,

they don't want to investigate the real facts. Bill Barr's weakness helped facilitate the cover-up of the crime of the century, the rigged 2020 presidential election. End of story. And, uh, yeah. You know, I fucking hate the way you make me fucking ride you. Now get the fuck out of here. We fucking ride you. Now get the fuck out of here. Bill fucking Barr. You're a real crumbum.

I don't like him. Why'd you hire him? I'll tell you why. The guys that was surrounding Trump, you know, again, Trump was a novice in D.C., remember? The insiders, the so-called deep state that doesn't exist, they told him the guy was clean. You know? Unfucking real. What a disappointment,

because I like Bill Barr. I thought he looked like Elton John. Big fat girl. Yeah. Fucking liar. And what happened to the Durham report, if you people remember? That was going to get behind the Russian collusion and Hillary and all the fucking shit. What happened to it? Do you see what they did? They told us we're working on it, we're working on it. Then they move on. Rush Limbaugh used to call that drive-by media. They'd focus on a story, and then they move on, even if they're wrong about it.

Nobody knows. It's down the road. I don't trust the government. I do trust they won't see this show. There's bigger fish. I think I'm in a good spot. I'm not as big as like Crowder, but I'm not as small as,

I don't know, pick some unknown comic. I'm flying right under the radar. That's how I feel. Of course, I'll come in tomorrow and all this equipment will be gone. There'll be a note from the FBI going, listen. But anyways, I'm flying right under the radar. That's how I feel. Of course, I'll come in tomorrow and all this equipment will be gone. There'll be a note from the FBI going, listen. But anyways, I'm glad Mr. Trump put that out there. I think he was running the goddamn money. You are correct, sir.

Anyways, let's move on to some other stuff. What's going on? Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. In our Ask Me Nicely, I don't want... I've got to get that down, that Nicholson. I don't want medals.

I don't want publicity. I just want you to stand there in that faggoty white uniform and show me the respect I deserve. Now you have to ask me nicely, Danny. Make me a sandwich segment tonight. Representative Alexandria, very nice titties, Ocasio-Cortez,

Democrat, you know it, you're a fuck, and I tell you, was sharply criticized over the weekend. By the way, I'm doing a Cuban. She's Puerto Rican. Over the weekend, following her claim that that concern from people over the spike in crime rates across the country amounted to hysteria. Can you imagine people living in those war zones? And she goes goes they're being hysterical about it you pompous stock-up snot-nosed english giant twerp scumbag fuck-faced dickhead asshole don't forget waitress she is effective i'll give you that much when When I watch Biden and all these policies, I see her fingerprints all over it. She's like, look, she goes, Biden's 112, Pelosi, my boss, is 145. The fuck, I'm running

the show over here. During a conversation with Rep. Jamal Bowman, Democrat, New York, over Zoom, York over Zoom. Ocasio-Cortez seemingly, sorry about that, seemingly cast doubt over the data showing crime rates rising in cities throughout the U.S. We didn't have to look at the numbers. You watch the news. Why are you doubting it? Have you fucking watched the news in the last year? Why are you doubting it? Have you fucking watched the news in the last year? Are they making those numbers up in Chicago every weekend? 30 to 40 people shot? You filthy.

Especially, says, in New York, where shooting incidents and murders have risen 53% and 30% since the beginning of the year. And she's saying people are being hysterical about it. She says, we are seeing these headlines about percentage increases. Now, I want to say that any amount of harm is unacceptable and too much. But that's where you should have ended the sentence,

cheese dick. But I also want to make sure that this hysteria, the fucking nipples on this pig. The hysteria, you know, that it doesn't, we don't want the hysteria to drive a hysteria and that we look at these numbers in context so that we can make responsible decisions about what to allocate in that context. They love to use 50 cent buzzwords to make them sound intelligent and when they're done

talking they say abso-fucking-lutely nothing can you imagine calling poor black and brown people in the city who fuck have lost a loved one or whatever that's hysteria and you know fox is saying is that you you snotty little bastard. These sound drops are right on the money, I'll tell you. The far left squad... That's an insult, the death squad. The far left squad member was lambasted by critics on social media following the comments, with some calling them shameful and others mocking her for downplaying crime statistics while feeding into premonitions of the world ending due to climate change.

That's right. Remember, according to Al Gore, a speech he gave back in the 80s, Miami was literally supposed to be underwater like 10 years ago. Miami was literally supposed to be underwater like 10 years ago. Well, the buildings, I don't know, maybe hit something. Fox News contributor Joe Concha suggested that people living in Ocasio-Cortez, New York City Congressional District, who are afraid to even put their kids outside, didn't concur with her statements. Of course they didn't. Journalist Glenn Greenwald tweeted,

ordinary people didn't have the luxury of having private security to protect them and acted to ensure $2 billion more in spending on the police that protects her by voting present on providing more funds to the Capitol Police. So she's a fucking hypocrite. You fucking hypocrite.

Imagine, literally, surrounded by, you know, security guards. We've seen her apartment, you know. But you're an asshole if you're living in Minneapolis, and you're an asshole if you're on, I don't know, Fox News or America One or Newsmax for pointing out that crime's going through the roof. By the way, de Blasio's on his way out, and I think the guy that's going to win it is Eric Adams,

black former head cop. Yeah, he's tough on crime and all that shit, but the rest of it, he's as liberal as the other jackoffs. Is that the best you can do? After de Blasio, you're going to tell me you can't find a Republican in New York? I don't fuck... I mean, Giuliani won at one point.

And even he wasn't, maybe because, you know what? He wasn't that, you know, you call him conservative, but he was, like, pro-able, pro-choice, and all this other shit. But when it comes to cleaning up the city, wouldn't you want another Giuliani type? Even you, Lib Fox, would you enjoy stepping in homeless shit on the way to Starbucks? Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Steve Sweeney, great Boston comedian, used to say that his priest sounded like the guy at the dog track.

And thereof, our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy single commandment will be done. Did no justice to that bit. Let's move on. Sunrise movement activists. I bet you guys don't even justice to that bit. Let's move on. Sunrise movement activists. I bet you guys don't even know what that is. A group of activists flanked by

noteworthy Democrat politicians. The one we just talked about. The aforementioned Sandy Cortez. Democrat protested outside of the White House on Monday demanding the Biden administration adopt an infrastructure plan that prioritizes climate change in blocking. They blocked every entrance to the White House as part of the demand for action.

Well, is that even legal? Why weren't they stopped? Somebody help me out here. It's not going to be long before you all kill yourselves because you're all crazy. Goddamn right. Nothing's crazier than an environmentalist. I'm not just talking about today's environmentalists. I'm talking, remember the guys that used to fucking be out in the boats trying to protect whales? And remember they would shoot at boats and, I mean, they're fucking nuts.

They'll burn your house down if you, I don't know, step on a tomato plant by accident. That was horrible. What's this, an internet show? Yeah. Activists from the far left, Soros funded. When's he going to catch one right in the wazoo? And by one, I mean a knee or a foot.

I don't want to hurt him too bad. Oh, God. How come his prostate hasn't rotted like a summer squash in February in Vermont? Why? Left a Soros-funded group of the Sunrise Movement. They always have the most innocent. There's a brain scan of anybody who's an environmentalist going in nine different directions. That's the tumor. See the arc? That's their symbol, the sunrise. March to the White House on Monday to demand the Biden

administration put climate change-related initiatives at the forefront, particularly in terms of ongoing infrastructure negotiations. You guys remember when infrastructure meant bridges and roads and tunnels? Now it covers everything in the universe. According to reports, protesters are blocking every entrance to the White House. That could be dangerous.

What if Pelosi has to catch a, you know, what a fucking Uber to blow some guy in his late hundreds? Anyways, demanding Biden heed to their Green New Deal agenda. Representative Jamal Bowman, Democrat, New York. Who the fuck does he look like?

And I'm not being racist here. This is a, I don't know if it's an athlete. He reminds me of someone. Was among the radical left lawmakers who joined activists outside the White House demanding the Biden administration to go big and bold and visionary for our country and for our future and for our planet. You guys are so fucking arrogant. They really think you can break the planet. It's been here for a trillion years. here for a trillion years makes me laugh represent oh here she is again Alexandria Ocasio Alexandria Alexandria Ocasio please give me cop Cortez and Carol Bush

too easy also made an appearance embracing as the crowd activists cheered. Here's the quote. What we are here to tell them is that you can't break this promise to us anymore, Ocasio-Cortez told the invigorated crowd. They're setting up a world that they won't have to live in, meaning these people are old fucks. Okay, that's why this matters. That's why we will fight, she says. Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up? Will you shut up? Look at Ms. Bush over there, huh? Jesus Christ, Tracy Morgan in a wig.

Could have grew pigment. It's a nice rack in Ocasio-Cortez let's stare at it make her feel uncomfortable yeah look even the black broad is looking at her tits what a waste they might as well be

on Newt Gingrich like I said as a result of your hard work we've got folks in the Senate we've got folks in the House not we've got folks in the House, not just me, not just like they like to say is a tiny group of the squad. We have a critical mass of people saying, no climate, no deal, she added. This thing's never going to get done.

We have seen dangerous heat events obliterating the Northwest in record numbers, and we see that it's coming up again over the next few days in places where they don't even have air conditioning. Where would that be? Amazon's warehouses? Rep Bush said at the event, bringing up other natural disasters such as flooding events in the Midwest. Anytime you hear this shit, just look up some experts on climate change.

I mean, guys, not climate change, people who are actual, what's the word for weatherman, climatologist? I mean, experts who have written books. You know, it's gone up, in 100 years, the temperature's gone up like one degree, not even. It's gone up in a hundred years the temperature has gone up like one degree, not even. And if you look at the history of this frigging planet, there's spikes, there's really hot times, and there's really... That's why it's called weather and climate. It fucking changes.

I'm not saying, you know, it's a little different because even I go out. It used to take me all day to get a little color on my face. Now it's about three minutes. But people are suffering. Are they the most doom and gloom? Have they ever had a good day in their lives, these lip bucks? Refugees from Syria are dying. AIDS, climate change, cancer in children, racism, sickle cell, asthma, paint chips, dog shit, French toast with paint chips.

People are suffering. People are dying because of our problem that society created. Society created the problem, and so society has to fix it. Is that in order? Why don't you nibble on the head of my cock, cock, cock, cock. Let's take a look at the, I don't even know what the video is, but I'm going to make fun of it anyways. Roll them.

Oh, God. Shut it down! CCC! Now! CCC! Now! CCC! Now! CCC! Now! CCC!

Now! CCC! Now! Have you ever seen a less threatening? It's like a bad fucking Thanksgiving parade in some small town. Our future is not negotiable. You want to bet? You want to bet? Do they really think marching in the streets and making noise does anything? Has it ever changed anything? Yeah, it got MLK Jr. shot dead. It's, as I said, there won't't be I don't even know who I'm quoting at this point

oh there she is Pelosi trying to prove she doesn't have fucking arthritis look I had these two fingers up my ass last night Nick why do you take it there because I'm bored out of my fucking mind it won't be infrastructure bill she says unless we have reconciliation

a reconciliation bill. That's when the left and the right get together and they have to try to make changes to it and jerk each other off. Pretending they're working on your behalf. There ain't, she said, did she say ain't? There ain't going to be an infrastructure bill unless we have the reconciliation bill passed by the United States Senate. House Speaker and leathery nippled Nancy Pelosi said last week, and about 10 guys, Republicans said to her, make me a sandwich, make me a fucking sandwich. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I hope she hanged herself with that scarf.

Wouldn't that be great? Find her in the backyard hanging from a lemon tree in San Francisco. Bunch of squirrels running out of the fucking eye sockets. Please come to Denver, she said no. Boy, why don't you come home to me? Hey, rambling boy, why don't you settle down? Denver ain't your kind of town. Her remarks prompted an internal revolt from vulnerable Democrats and Senate Republicans. They're so far left, they're actually bringing them together. They have warned that the far left tactics embraced by Pelosi and President Biden,

who is also demanding a measure focusing on human infrastructure, they're just making it up, could very well blow up the bipartisan negotiations. Can you imagine that? You've got some Democrats agreeing with some Republicans. That's how far left and fucking stupid AOC and the women with the funny fingers here. House Republican whip Steve Scalise. You remember Steve Scalise? Who survived that baseball shooting?

Tough guy. Republican, Louisiana, blasted the far-left demands of his Democrat colleagues, including their desire to thrust climate change initiatives to the forefront of these measures. He told Breitbart News, oh, the idea that they were going to try to use an infrastructure bill to bring forward more social programs and Green New Deal initiatives, that would kill jobs and unionizing home health care workers. I think the public revolted against that kind of abuse of power, and it's one of the reasons that they haven't been able to bring forward their radical spending and tax bill.

In other words, they're out, as the old term used to be. They're out kicking their coverage. You never hear that in football anymore. That's when a punt, they used to boom one. And, you know, 70-yard punt, and the guys weren't even halfway down the field, and the guy receiving the punt would get about a 40-yard running start.

I know. I returned punts for a week, and I said, enough of that shit. Anyways, let's move on to some other stuff. I'll tell you, the world's a crazy place. Let's lighten it up. What's the headline here? More airplane nonsense. Man who jumped from a moving plane, don't worry,

it was on the ground, at LAX tells FBI he bought a lot of crystal meth before the flight, which is what you want to do when you're flying somewhere. Can you imagine being on meth? I have a Diet Coke from LA to New York, and I'm ready to fucking break down the cockpit door. This guy's doing meth like it's Somonex. As United Airlines Flight 5365 was readying to take off from L.A. International Airport on Friday evening, 33-year-old Luis Antonio Victoria Dominguez of La Paz. Christ, you need meth to pronounce your own name. He's from La Paz, Mexico. He leaned over to the woman sitting next to him, Lucky,

and whispered that he was going to jump out, she said. And then he said, I'm serious. The woman remembered him telling her. I wonder if he said it in English. The rest of the story, they refer to him as Victoria Dominguez, like it's a woman. Let's say Dominguez then allegedly sprinted

to the front of the plane, tried to enter the cockpit. Don't do that. I've tried that like six times. Banging on the door and, you know, just being a third world moron. Come on, God damn it.

Come on, let's go, let's go. When he was unsuccessful, he delivered on his promise. He opened an emergency exit door. Where the fuck are the flight attendants? And leaped out of the plane. Now, Dominguez faces a 20-year maximum sentence in federal prison. Yeah, right.

He'll do 20 minutes of fucking yard work. In federal prison for interfering with the flight crew, according to the U.S. Yeah, right. He'll do 20 minutes of fucking yard work. In federal prison for interfering with a flight crew, according to the U.S. Attorney's Office in Central District of California. Nothing's going to happen to him.

Which filed a complaint detailing the incident on Sunday. Dominguez's incident was reportedly days in the making. That Tuesday, according to,

listen to this, this sounds like a, listen to the couple of days he had here. That Tuesday, according to, listen to this, this sounds like a, listen to the couple of days he had here. That Tuesday, and this is why I never wanted to try hard drugs, according to the complaint, he arrived at the airport from Los Cabos San Lucas, Mexico. He wanted to get to Salt Lake City, but had no connecting flight, so he made his way to a hotel in downtown LA, which is what you want to do, near a bus station. Those are the best hotels. There he ate many las cucarachas.

No. There he drank several beers, as a bored Latino will do, and used $20 to buy a lot of crystal methamphetamine. According, look it, that's raw candy. According to a sequence of events

he gave to the FBI. He told the FBI about this, so they might go easy on him. The FBI guys, they promised me a deal. So I made up a lot of stuff. Sure, sure, sure. On Thursday evening, he smoked more crystal meth and left the hotel to catch a flight to Los Angeles International Airport. The complaint ends, but he missed his flight. You're on meth. I understand if you smoked a bag of weed and you're late, but if you're doing meth, you should be there like two hours early. He was then rescheduled.

So he's missed what two flights already he was then rescheduled for flight 5365 which he eventually boarded before at 6 30 p.m scheduled departure uh when vic when domengas took his seat he was coming down from all the drugs he had used the last couple of days and immediately started to doze off which i've never done on a plane in my life. The complaint says, then he heard several passengers behind him laughing and talking about the flight going to a different city than Salt Lake City. Oh, my God.

He began to panic. Dominguez allegedly opened the door, partially deploying the emergency slide. A passenger approached Dominguez and grabbed him by his collar, attempting to keep him inside the plane as the rolling plane came to a halt. Dominguez twisted free and fell onto the tarmac. Wouldn't it be fun hanging out with this guy for a weekend? Breaking his right leg. Compound fracture. Eight grams of cocaine poured out of the hole in his leg. No.

As he tried to crawl away from the plane, he was apprehended by L.A. airport police and transported to the hospital. Can you imagine you miss a flight and you go, I'm going to go down to, why was he going to Salt Lake City? Somebody said, somebody said, uh, he's Mitt Romney's dealer. I don't believe it. But imagine you go to a hotel downtown L.A. I mean, downtown L.A. sucked when L.A. was nice.

Next to a bus station. Can you imagine it now? I need something to make me relax on this flight. Anybody have any crystal meth? I'd like to shoot some fentanyl into the head of my cock. Would you believe? A Boy Scout in a Robo? Oh boy, this next one, I should give you a trigger warning if you like to watch football.

They're really trying to make me quit watching football. They're really, and they're getting damn close. The only reason I don't, and I know I'm kind of being a hypocrite here. I should be boycotting all this shit but it's the only thing in life that I love that and pizza and maybe my wife I love it I played it as a kid I played it in first grade

I played youth football I played high school I played in college and I fucking love watching college football I love it I love it I love it and I love it. I love it.

And I don't want these fags and fucking wokest Kaepernick fans to take something away from me. Yeah, but if you're supporting it, what? Who's it hurting? If you kneel down and ask them, you're an asshole. We know that. Just play the game. Hopefully you'll be paralyzed on the first play. I can't help it. But this one is getting me close. And again, I'm not homophobic. I'm in show business. I'm not going to say it again. Christ's sake, I've been blown by so many

guys during auditions. It's unbelievable. I mean, I blew guys. What am I saying? Anyways, what's the headline? National Fag League. What does that mean is that what what are you trying to say with that that's kind of a homophobic yes i am you throw me a pass and i'll run with it and i'll make a touchdown does that make you crazy when me and arty had a sports show, Artie Lang on DirecTV, we had a producer that we didn't know was gay, and this little tip-off, like the third day, he goes, then so-and-so made a home run. I'm like, what did he make it out of, balsa wood?

Do you know what kind of wood was it? He made a home run. Now, when you make a home run, what's two cups of sugar, a stick of butter? You motherless fucker. As Pride Month comes to a close, oh, thank fucking God. I forgot the applause button. And we missed that one.

As Pride Month comes to a close, which makes me very sad. I've been walking around with my chest sticking out. You know, because of the way I'm born. I should be proud of that. The NFL has released a new commercial that makes clear its support and embrace of the LGBTQ community.

I'm going to show you this. Honest to God, they're attacking everything that we love as Americans. And if you look at it, it's everything that little bully kids fucking hated, like athletes and jocks and working hard, rugged individualism. I mean, baseball's not a pastime. It hasn't been forever.

It's been football ever since Pete Roselle made a contract with the networks. Target individualism. I mean, baseball's not a pastime. It hasn't been forever. It's been football. Ever since Pete Rozelle made a contract with the networks back in the late 60s, early 70s, the NFL is our pastime. This country is queer. Hey, they should have used that. This country is queer for football. Like Kentucky is for basketball.

That used to be a bumper sticker assumption. But here's the new ad letting you know that the NFL is woke. Check it out. I should have been reading that for you people who aren't watching and listening to the show. The NFL is gay. That's the aren't watching and listening to the show. The NFL is gay. That's the first thing, and they leave that up. Then it goes, the NFL is lesbian. The NFL is whatever this. It's that.

It's for Jewish kids. It's for Eskimos with one foot and fucking midgets with no arms. It's for everyone. Can I ask you a question? Who said it wasn't? Who said it wasn't? Why? Because half the league, the players

aren't gay? Does that mean that... Who said it wasn't for everyone? Once again, creating straw men and then blowing them. Who said it wasn't for everyone? Somebody tell me that.

This whole woke thing is a fake fucking religion. I hope you realize that. It's all set up straw men and just, it's, can you imagine Vince Lombardi? Picture him in his camel coat, 11 degrees up, he's got the hat on, and they go, Vince, come here. They're on the sideline.

Take a look at this ad the NFL's running. What the hell's going on out here? Exactly. The video is a direct response to Carl Nassib's public coming out last week, according to Outsports. Let me ask you a question. I don't know if it's Nassib, Nassib, Nassib. Did anybody get upset when he came out?

Does anybody give a fucking rat's ass, honestly? Defensive end for the LA Raiders, which is funny. You know, you make your butt pirate jokes if you want, but I'm not going to do that. He's the first active NFL player to be out. And good for him because, you know, like him. I suck cock. I do.

And I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy. I really do. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Nobody cares anymore. We haven't for about 20 years now. I am proud of the clear message. This is Nasib talking on NASA.

Who's it talking? Who is it? This is Sam Rappaport. Oh, this is the woman. What's her first name? Sam. Sam. There you go.

Sam Rapoport. I'm guessing gay woman and Jewish, where most of this PC shit comes from, in my opinion. And the only reason I say that, I read Bernie Goldberg's book years ago when he worked for CBS News, and he used to say that the guys who ran the network's wives were often militant feminists and would tell them literally what to put on the news.

And that's coming from Bernie Goldberg, all right? Look at this, Sam Rappaport, probably gay Jewish woman. She's holding the ball right. That's how I know she's gay. She's got her finger, the point of her index on the tip, and it's tucked into her arm. All's we're missing there is a six foot eight, 290 pound defensive end to blindside her and knock her head off. So anyway, Sam Rapoport, this is her quote. She's in charge of this. I am proud of the clear message this spot sends to the NFL's LGBTQ fans. This game is unquestionably for you,

NFL Senior Director of Diversity. There's that word, equity. And eventually the NFL is not going to keep score, I'm guessing. Are we going to take it that far? If you want to hear me making fun of the NFL, I don't know what album it is, but it's about them wearing pink ribbons and shit. me making fun of the NFL, I don't know what album it is, but it's about them wearing

pink ribbons and shit. It's one of the best bits I ever wrote. And one of my best jokes ever doesn't even get a laugh. It gets a look, even from my fans, like, that's perfect logic. I do a thing about ESPN. You guys know if you're my fans. About SportsCenter.

All the women on it. And I'm saying men are more qualified to do it. And then I say, who would you rather, I said, how many women here, God, I can't remember my own bits, something about abortion. How many women here, I say to the audience when I'm doing a live show, think men should decide the abortion issue? And of course, none of them raise their hand. And I say you say they shouldn't because why? Because they never carried a baby right? And I go you never carried a

football get the fuck off sports now. Try arguing with that logic. But Sam Rappaport would. She's ahead of diversity, equity, and inclusion. That's Sam Rappaport. Sam Rappaport told Outsports, whatever that is, I will be playing its first line over and over in my head all season, which is football is gay, right? Isn't that the first line? Rappaport told USA Today Sports last week, it's okay to not fully understand the LGBTQ plus experience.

I got the basic package. For you to be an ally. You don't need to be an expert in all the terms. You just need to try. Oh my God. Who the fuck are you? Are you writing a book?

Who the fuck are you? Are you writing a book? Who the fuck are you? Why don't you try to understand us straight guys who vomit when we hear shit like this? Why don't you try doing some of that understanding? Along with his announcement last week, Nassib donated $100,000, putting his money where his cock is, to the Trevor Project, a leading national organization that provides crisis intervention and suicide

prevention help for LGBTQ youth. The NFL followed suit with its stated support of the Trevor Project in the commercial, while reiterating the fact that LGBTQ youth with at least one accepting adult in their lives have a 40% lower risk of attempting suicide. Good. We're happy. Throw money at it. Seriously. Good for them. But again, we are politicizing. I've said it. Again, I said it on one of my albums way before anybody else did. Can we keep my fucking sports over here and keep your

politics, whatever the fuck. I keep porn on this shelf. I keep my sports over here. Can we separate the two? People go to sporting events. Now everybody, I swear to God, these jerk offs in SportsCenter listen to my albums. Only I'm 10 years ahead of them. We go to sporting events, now everybody, I swear to God, these jerk-offs in sports, I don't listen to my albums.

Only I'm 10 years ahead of them. We go to sporting events to get away from shit like this. It became very apparent to the whole nation when fucking Kaepernick came out with his dog shit. But that's why we go. Somebody once called it the toy store of life, sports. Let's leave it that way. I don't want to talk about cancer and AIDS and politics

and the fucking big wheel section of the store. I don't know. Seriously, leave it alone. I can't watch the Red Sox on Nessun.

They can't do it. They can't do a game without bringing up cancer. Although this year they've been pretty good about it. Maybe they listened. Anyways, I want to end the story by saying this. Throwing your son looks like a fag to me.

Oh, that's not necessary. She says, if you love this game, you are welcome here. Oh, the NFL wrote that on Twitter. Football is for all. Football is for everyone. The NFL stands by the LGBTQ community today and every day. Yeah, when didn't you?

Somebody help me. When? Please give me a call. I can't. Finally tonight. You should read the comments, though, after, you know, when that was put up on wherever. It's funny twitter's known as this bastion of left wing but uh there's also a zillion people on they like football and testosterone and gross stuff like that they were fucking nuts oh let's stay on the sports for the

final uh story of today and the headline what the fuck is pippin sipping nick that was pretty clever i know scotty pippin accused his former nba coach phil jackson gee i wonder what a black guy would accuse a white guy of being in the 2021 in america um oh yeah he accused phil jackson a guy who did more for his life than any guy black white or yellow he called him. He accused him of being a racist on Monday in the latest act of candor. Oh, is that candor from the Basketball Hall of Famer? Is that what that is? You call that candor?

Takes a lot of balls, huh? Because a black guy's going to get in trouble for calling a white guy a racist. While appearing on the Dan Patrick Show, which I hosted for a couple days once, many years ago, Pippen was asked about recent comments he made to GQ, which is more left than the fucking nation. That's a magazine. In which he said Jackson made a racial move.

Listen to this. Listen to how paranoid. By not giving him the last second shot in a 1994 playoff game against the Knicks. That makes him a racist. I have a theory about black guys who are famous and they start getting all, they get cuckoo, like Danny Glover and fucking Spike Lee

and who's the guy that sang that stupid Bahamas song? Fontaine, whatever the fucking name is. Anyway, Pippin infamously refused to return. Put a picture of him up now just to prove my point about them getting nutty. Not that one. The other one. He's got the same hair. Yeah, there you go. Which one? He's got the same hair. Oh, really?

Yeah, there you go. Exploding cigar head. What's he doing? I always call him Mr. Potato Head. Anyways, Pippen, because he's always thinking about team and not himself, he refused to return to the game with 1.8 seconds left after learning he would not take the final shot because, you know, he's a team player.

That's faggot stuff. You want to call it by its name, that's strictly for fags. Crushing forward Tony Cuoco ended up hitting the game winner for the Bulls. So not only was it not racist, it was the right call. Let's listen to Pippen whining like I don't know why anybody would give a fuck. Go ahead. I understand from the basketball standpoint.

But when you say a racial move. Well, why would Tony, who was a rookie, get the last second shot and you put me out of bounds? Pause. Can I answer that? Because everybody's expecting you to take the last shot. How about that for an answer? Do you once think of that?

Right away, you went right to racism. Everybody knew you were going to get the last shot, but who would expect the rookie? And he'd be white. They should have threw it. They should have had a 12-year-old girl in a wheelchair take the shot. Nobody would have bothered. Can you imagine he's that paranoid? Go ahead.

Well, I mean racial. Like, that was Scottie Pippen's team. Oh, pause, pause. Listen to how many, here's another sign you're losing your mind. You talk about yourself in the third person. He did it 11 times in this interview. It's fucking crazy. Go ahead.

On pace to be an MVP that year, right? Yeah. Okay. Well, why would you put him in a position not to be successful? Why wouldn't you put him in a position to succeed? Michael Jordan is not there. So who's next in line for you? I'll pause.

Is that how it works? Wow. What a douchebag. Wow. There's something wrong with the black man's mind. There's something wrong with his mind. It's a stupid, stupid, stupid. And Dan Patrick, why wouldn't you say, well, maybe everybody's expecting you to take this shot. Go ahead. But have you talked to Phil about this?

Of course not. I don't have the balls to do that. Because by saying a racial move, then you're calling Phil a racist. I don't got a problem with that. No! Do you think Phil was or is? Oh, yeah. Oh, that dirty cocksucker. Can you fucking imagine just throwing that out there?

Yeah. Because a lot of racists, right? A lot of white guys who hate black people would want to coach, play in the NBA, and then coach it. A league that's 240% black. That proves you're a racist, that you want to be around them almost 24 hours a day, right? Scottie Pippen, when did you turn into the most ignorant person

on the fucking planet? I bet you it was two days after those dreadlocks were tightened. You disgust me, man. I'm going to tell you something. When Patrick suggested that the play call may not definitely mean Jackson's race, Pippen responded, well, he says, that's your way

of putting it out, and I have my way. I was in the locker room with him. I was in practices with him you're looking uh you're looking from afar he said oh boy you oh my god Pippen also condemned the 75 year old Jackson for being critical of Kobe Bryant oh stick together in his 2004 book the last season a team in search of its soul before coming back to the Lakers in 2005 for his second stint at coaching Bryant. Pippen is no stranger to criticizing his former teammates and coaches. In other words, he's a backstabber, having rebuked Jordan and Charles

Barkley in recent weeks. Just a jackass. Anyways, I think we have a clip of his kid when his kid heard this interview. He's so embarrassed for his dad. He's in school, I think, wouldn't he? All right, that's enough. That's it for today. Can you imagine? That's right where his mind goes. Boy, you know what?

We're finding out who the real racists are. We've already known that for a long time. Anyways, kids, that is it. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com. Don't forget to contribute there and patreon.com or do daily contributions or monthly. Sign up monthly. We'd really like that.

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