The Nick DiPaolo Show - NY AG Charges Trump | Nick Di Paolo Show #1276

Episode Date: September 21, 2022

AG sues Trump. Biden claims end of pandemic. Lemon gets lesson on slavery. Racist event charges all but "black folks". Aaron Judge ties The Babe. Puppet blocks traffic.

Boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, anything in between, make sure to join me on Patreon to get extra stories each day. It's called the Nick DiPaolo Show Encore, and today I'll be talking about Joy Behar and what she said as far as what the Democratic ticket should be, which it's even crazy for her. So you'll also get access to all the past shows, including the encore shows, discounts on merchandise and more. Visit patreon.com slash the Nick DiPaolo Show to sign up today. ស្រូវាប់ពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពីពី� Hey!

Doc Hawaii, you piece of shit. Freddie DeCordova, my producer. How's it going, folks? Boy, boy is it hot out in California today. How hot is it? It's so hot, I went by a field and saw two cows squirting milk at each other. Ooh, yummy. Two cows.

Yeah, they were in Burbank. Anyways, great show tonight, Ed. Great show. I got fake musician Peter Tork from the Monkees. I don't think he knows how to play an instrument. Hey, Pete, I'm not a believer. And Barbara Eden, she's going to come out and give me one of these blinks and turn me into her bike seat. And astronomer Carl Sagan.

Guy's so smart, he's from another planet. Who's booming over there, Doc? Oh, fuck your sister. All right. Let's get right to it, shall we, kids? Let me write down when I'm out of here. That's most important. New York Attorney General, racist black woman,

Letitia James, on Wednesday, filed a $250 million lawsuit, not her personally, against former President Donald Trump, his kids Eric, Ivanka, and Donald Trump Jr., like to the Gambinos, and the Trump Organization, alleging staggering fraud in the family real estate business. I'm just going to play a little audio of her right now. What folks says about this family, I does. This family. I told you and told you.

I told you and told her. You can always tell they've been stealing money like a bird. And I ain't aiming for you to go to Mr. John Wilkinson's and eat like a field hand and gobble like a hog. Oh, God. That's horrible. She's so, so, this is beyond political. It's, they are so desperate. This is like a good sign.

By the way, it's a civil lawsuit. It's not a criminal. I guess you still go to jail, right? I don't know how it works. I'm clean as a fucking whistle. But they are, this is a sign that they're shitting their pants, that he's going to run again. Do you understand? And you idiots out there who believe it, I don't even think you believe it. I think people on the left

who vote Democrat, they're like, I know it's bullshit, but I'm still voting Democrat why do you enjoy high inflation South America pouring into our country do you like that you like gas prices through the world food you can't afford crime like it's never been seen in this country you like all that shit well what are you thinking exactly now that you've seen Trump for four years and what he did, and that shit you can't argue with because it's fact. It's in the past now. Compare it to fucks day. And who's going to replace fucks day? By fucks day, I mean our fake president. Let's listen to the pride. It's like she's at the Sauce Awards. Go ahead. Following a comprehensive three-year investigation by my office, including witnesses, interviews with more than 65 witnesses,

and review of millions of documents that were submitted by Mr. Trump and others, I am announcing that today we are filing a lawsuit against Donald Trump for violating the law as part of his efforts to generate profits for himself, his family, and his company. You're a liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, and you know it. By the way, his family, his company, same thing. You redundant. You should be on the couple of National Greek. Hello? Cut.

Three, two, one. I'm counting myself back. And let's try that again. No, leave it right there. I'm counting myself in. Three, two, one. She should be on the cover of National Geographic. Carrying a basket of guavas back to the house.

A little hot. Anyways. Anyhow. Are you shitting me, folks? Are you kidding me? I mean, when you kind of see a pattern here between Russiagate, the two impeachments, and I'm forgetting about three other things. The laptop buried.

Are you seeing that? Huh? Yeah. Anyways, I don't like this broad. You know what I'm saying? Donald Trump falsely, this is her talking, inflated his net worth by billions of dollars to unjustly enrich himself

and cheat the system, thereby cheating all of us. Not sure how that works. Oh, I see. You want to suck the taxes off a billionaire guy who... James said at a news conference announcing the suit. She said that it was written by who the fuck knows. I don't like this girl. You fat, nasty black bitch.

Claiming you have money that you do not have, you know, like BLM. Oh, they had it. Claim they didn't have it. Does not amount to the art of the deal. It's the art of the steal. So she made it rhyme for her black constituents. Because you've got to do that. You know, if the glove don't fit, you've got to quit.

You know how they do that. Somebody do a rap song about it. She's referring to Trump's 1987 book that only sold about six trillion copies. You should have fucking read it yourself. You wouldn't be standing on a podium working for the man, man. The filing, which also names ex-Trump organization CFO Allen Weisselberger, alleges the defendants engaged in numerous acts of fraud and

misrepresentation in the preparation of Mr. Trump's annual statements of financial condition, statements of financial condition covering at least the years 2011 through 2021 this is this is beyond trump derangement syndrome james opened an investigation into the company in 2019 after trump's one-time personal lawyer michael the liar cohen who was remember he lied under oath this fucking guy and they're using him so um get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you. Oh, come on, Donald. Anyways, Cohen told Congress that Trump exaggerated company assets for tax insurance and loan purposes. Yeah. The AG then filed suit in 2020 claiming the Trump organization in Eric Trump was stonewalling her probe.

She probed me once and I found a Lee Presson nail falling out of my pant leg. Good night, everybody. OK. Okay. This is a sign of desperation. They are scared shitless. This should confirm Trump should run. They are scared shitless of this guy. Totally political.

And I've got to believe that some people, Dallas mentioned independents, who would say this is absolute. At this point, I mean, you guys can't see this. This is the fucking old Russia bringing a guy. I'll show you the crime type of. It's already here. This Marxist style horse shit. They're trying to destroy this guy's life.

And you know what? I think it's going to backfire because Republicans are going to, if this is going on right before the midterm, it's 48 days from now, by the way, people on the right are going to come out in droves to the point where you can't, unless there's another lantern bug. What was it yesterday? China's brewing up another batch of COVID. It's called COVID slash Biden.

This is just, again, desperation. But there's people out there who know it's bullshit. They vote Democrat and they go, we don't give a fuck. That's what it's become. You got a hand to the left of that. They will not break. It's a religion. They won't break for anybody.

It's like a Muslim pissing on Allah's picture or something. It just ain't ever going to happen. It's a religion to them. But I think it's going to backfire beautifully. Let's hope so. I want to hear what Trump has to say. I hope he's on the news today. This fat black bitch.

They're coming after me. That was horrible. He's fucking doing Louis Armstrong. Baron! Anyways, let's move on to the guy who stole the election from the aforementioned Trump. from the aforementioned Trump. Clean up on Isle Biden again. That's all they do. That's all his administration does. They walk around with a pooper scooper behind him. This guy is a... In an interview on 60 Minutes,

they told Joe it was 20 minutes. They told him an hour was 20 minutes, and he thought that was right. President Biden finally came clean about the pandemic. Here's what the old bag of trash had to say. The pandemic is over. We still have a problem with COVID. We're still doing a lot of work on it.

It's what the pandemic. Yes, sir. Do you hear what he just said? The pandemic, just that part. The pandemic's over, yet we still have a lot of problems with COVID. Just let that sink in and tell me how that makes any sense. Anybody? Bueller?

The pandemic's over, yet we... It's like going, cancer's over, but we still have a lot of problem with cancer. You dinkweed. What the fuck? You can say anything. And there's Scott Pelley sucking his cock, not with a follow-up question. What does that mean exactly? And here's the other phrase they love to use, the Biden administration.

We're working every day. You listen to that black gay chick, the spokesman, fucking Corinne LeFleur. She's every day. We're working hard. He's working, working hard. He's working hard to find the front door of the White House. Went for a little walk. If you notice, no one's wearing masks, he went on to say, Joe. Everybody seems to be in pretty good shape. Yeah, why don't you have a push-up contest, one of the dog pony soldiers? And so I think

it's changing, unlike my dirty diaper. And I think this is a perfect example of it. Yeah, because we should listen to a guy who thinks his wife's his sister-in-law. Who gives a fuck what you think? He has no idea. I got to say it again, as they said in The Godfather,

Roth played this one beautifully. The Dems played this beautifully. It's like a robot. They wind them up. Artificial intelligence. You're looking at it. Mr. Biden's comments came only a few weeks after his administration asked Congress for billions of dollars to maintain its testing and vaccination efforts.

So he has no idea what the message is coming out of his own White House. They shit yesterday. When he said that, they were fucking running around going, what's he doing? Or when he said it on Sunday, whenever they tape this piece of garbage they're losing they've been cleaning up since man uh the remark contradicts statements made by his own aides earlier this month as they have urged americans to seek out an updated booster of course they did money money money money pfizer okay you see the government it's all and then you have the magical

drug that Pfizer is putting out to deal with myocarditis yeah myocarditis for kids they got one for kids but it's over the pandemic is over meanwhile every day I read about people dropping dead healthy people

nothing I'm making up. You can verify this shit. Cause unknown. To seek out an updated booster. That's what he's telling people. Ahead of a feared fall and winter wave of the virus. That's why I

get so angry when people go, why do you get so mad about people that are still wearing masks? Because they're continuing the lie. They're continuing the, you know what I'm saying? Perpetuating the fucking big myth. I told you they would never let it go away. You see commercials for it, you'd think we're right in the middle

of it. And you couldn't give me that shot, like I say on stage, one of my newer bits, I'm not getting that freaking thing like I say on stage, one of my newer bits, I'm not getting that freaking thing. I want to die at the hands of the fucking enemy. I think I might have said this on the show before. I want to be killed by the Chinese, not by my own government. I don't want friendly fire. I want to be fragged by a CBS nurse graduated from Jacksonville State with a D.

nurse graduated from Jacksonville State with a D. I think there's more integrity in dying at the hands of the Chinese than it's fucking. The pandemic isn't over. Well, and we, this is somebody, well, I'll tell you who it is, and we will remain vigilant, and of course, we continue to look for and prepare for unseen twists and, no, you're looking to make up unseen twists and turns dr ashish jai the white house's top covet 19 official and a guy who can tell you how to get semen out of a mouse pad at three in the morning told reporters on september 6th covet 19 deaths are still averaging around 400 a day nationwide. Really? And how old is the average person? Oh, you don't want to tell us that? What they weigh? No? Oh, not important. Suck a bag. Anyways, 400 a day nationwide. Levels that federal health officials have decided too high. What? An administration that's full.

Officials have also signaled that a public health emergency declaration for COVID-19 is expected to be renewed at least one more time this year. They say that's costing us

billions, too. I didn't go on to read the whole fucking article by him doing that. The White House told Yahoo News that the president was stating the obvious. Secretary of Health Javier Becerra said, I believe the president made it very clear. COVID is still here. Now let's think about that.

He said the pandemic's over. So he didn't make it clear. He did say we're still having a problem with COVID, but that's not clear. That's called muddying the waters. Do words fucking mean anything anymore? We just have to make sure we're smart. Well, you're out of fucking luck.

God. What we've got here is failure to communicate. What we got here is a 112-year-old president. Oh, my God. I'm almost hoping I don't want it to, but I mean, I want to see what happens if they prosecute Trump or whatever and he can't be up I really think if that doesn't set it off and you know what I mean by set it off folks that's right you know what I mean

that's the sign shout out to my proud boys. That's right. Leave that in there. Anyway. Speaking of retarded. Who's Auburn got, Dallas, this week? Mizzou. Are they any good?

No, but neither are we. Boy, you should be a politician. That was well put. My Black Bears played Boston College last week, which is a little out of their... UMass, right? No. No? You may.

Oh, okay, gotcha. Yeah. 34-17. They were ahead 10-7 in the second quarter. BC. I don't think they got it this year. Could be a long year for them. Anyways, I'm glad you guys are probably relieved I gave that update

about the fucking ACC versus the Vision 1 AA team. All right, let's move on. You know who's a real funny colored kid? Don Lemon. Don Lemon. Don Lemon gets slavery lesson. This was precious, man. This was precious television, as I like to say. As you know, the queen died on a Ducati trying to jump a double-decker bus. Anyway, so she's dead, and they're trying to bury her. We showed you a clip of the Muslim trying to kill her again.

Got her own funeral. Anyways, so CNN's covering it because Don's a queen. He knows all about it. Okay, this is amazing. Don Lemon brings up the need for slave reparations from the royal family. He brings this up as he's interviewing a woman who's from, you know, England. It would be like,

you know, Obama getting shot. And me going, yeah, well, you know what? He grew up with Marxists and he tried to fuck up my country. Show some respect, Don. Here is Don. Well, that's the pose everybody knows him from.

He's waiting for a fucking gob of Hellman's to land on that dirty tongue of his that he just pulled from the ass of a 12-year-old Cub Scout. Leave that in. That should go on, okay? I'm serious. That's the type of shit I want out there. His guest, royal commentator, Hilary Fordwich, I say there, Hilary, how are you today? Land ahoy. Hilary Fordwich says, yes, people should be demanding reparations from the African leaders who sold them

into slavery. Watch how she lays this out. Don think, Don's like, oh boy, did I just, yeah, I just, I just, I just destroyed her with this. And he gets, well, I think that was his mouth after she bitch slapped him with knowledge and facts that he's never heard. And that's the problem, by the way. People like Don Lamont, nobody's ever told them the truth.

And they don't want to know. You think he learned that in college? Probably went to Jackson State or Howard, whatever. I assume that, just to be racist. But the lady with the pearl necklace, no, no, no, said the eight-year-old Nick DiPaolo. Watch, apparently she was good friends with, I don't know, watch her school Don Lamont. Is he sleeping right there or getting blown? Let's listen to her teach Don a history lesson about slavery.

The public are wondering, why are we suffering when you are, you know, you have all of this vast wealth? Those are legitimate concerns. Well, I think you're right about reparations in terms of if people want it, though, what they need to do is you always need to go back to the beginning of a supply chain. Where was the beginning of the supply chain? That was in Africa. And when that crossed the entire world, when slavery was taking place, which was the first nation in the world that abolished slavery? First nation in the world to abolish it.

It was started by William Wilberforce, was the British. In Great Britain, they abolished slavery 2 000 naval men died on the high seas trying to stop slavery why because the african kings were rounding up their own people they had them on cages waiting in the beaches no one was running into africa to get them and i think you're totally right if reparations need to be paid we need to go right back to the beginning of that supply chain and say, who was rounding up their own people and having them handcuffing pages? Absolutely.

That's where they should start. And maybe, I don't know, the descendants of those families where they died in the high seas trying to stop the slavery, those families should receive something too, I think, at the same time. It's an interesting discussion.

Yeah, it is. is yeah get off the air listen your mom goes to college ah the homosexuals hey don you got knocked the fuck out and again it's priceless to see a brainwashed minority, a CNN, face of CNN, because he's never heard the truth in his life, whether it was in college or out of... Because he's surrounded by like-minded people when he's at CNN, and in the summertime when he's in the Hamptons blowing his life partner Kevin O'Toole. What? Kev, I just made it up. I have no idea if he exists

or not. But yeah, he's never heard the truth. I love how he ended it. It's an interesting discussion. Yeah, because somebody else has a, there's two sides to the story. That's why it's interesting now. You've been chirping how it's all Whitey's fault and anybody knows that's poo-poo. The show is entirely supported by you listeners. Thank you to those who joined up on Patreon in the past week and those who made contributions.

Please continue to do so. I'll promise I'll keep working to spread honest and direct comedy and commentary through the show. You can contribute at nickdip.com and I'll read your name on the show, making you world famous. Thank you so much, everybody. Let's stay on race because it's been a minute. Racist prices. Well, what does that mean?

I don't know, but I bet it involves Red Lobster on a Thursday night. Ew. Why isn't that at my ready? God damn it. You ever go buy a Red Lobster parking lot on a Thursday night? It looks like an Escalade dealership.

I'm telling you. An event at an art festival in Portland, Oregon, offered, get this, race-based admission pricing. Translation. Why do you got to pay? Nobody else got to pay. According to an ad for the event, black folks, in quotes,

could attend for free all of the donation of their choice. Oh, I'm sure they're going to donate because, you know, you see how they tip. All other attendees had to pay $80 a piece. And to that I say, Fuck you!

Fuck you! That's a white guy trying to get in. Fuck you! Can you imagine? Just reverse the right. Just, I know it's, I know it's basic irony, but I mean, just reverse the right.

Can you imagine? Yeah, white people, you're in for free. What are you, mulatto? 40 bucks. What percent? Black feast. Black imagerial. 40 bucks. What percent? Black feast. Black

imagerial. They make up their own words. A three-hour event hosted last Sunday by Salamatu and my baby. There you go. There you go. Look at this.

Look at this piece of work. I'm going to eat something this guy made. It's a Will Smith's love child. It's Will Smith. And he's got those snow tire treads on his head. Oh, my. What in God's name is that? Anyways, this fruit cup.

Boy, where have all these people been hiding? Anyways, that guy or girl, sponsored by the Portland Institute for Contemporary Art, was promoted as culinary event, celebrating black artists and writers through what else? Food. Go in the fucking kitchen and give me my big piece of chicken. I'm out of here. fucking kitchen and give me my big piece of chicken. I'm out of here. At our table, the event description states, guests participate in an experience that weaves together food and weaves and art where Salamato maybe works with black artists to create a multi-course vegan gluten-free meal. Oh, my God. Could you get any more PC?

Gluten-free meal based off of the artist's work. Yeah, look at that. Diarrhea waiting to happen. I like all that's in the bowl there I gotta be honest that looks like sweet potato garlic greens and some rocks from the ocean while guests created their multi-course

vegan and gluten free meal oh my god oh I can't wait to get off planet earth they were also regaled with interpretive dance cause that's what I like when I'm trying to finish my soup. Some gay guy's nuts in my fucking garlic bread. Oh, God. They have interpretive dances now at Arby's.

They're trying to get it. After midnight, the black crowd comes in. With eight black dancers and artists moving with the land, black imagery recognizes black movement as embodied image-making and visionary practice. The description continues. You know how I see it? Yeah, could I get more collard greens?

Could you tell this guy to fucking quit periwetting around here? He's shaking the table. In keeping with black theme of the event, black guests got to sucker punch

white girls in their teens. No, black guests could attempt for free. This event is free or by notion for black, by donation for blacks, the ad says. Advising those who identify as black to use promo code black movement. I have a black movement right after I have

drank Pepto-Bismol. Come on. That's a good one. It's true. Oh, my God. Leave that in, please. To receive their free tickets. It's unclear.

I know. You just have to show up and go, I identify as black, right? I wonder how that would work. It's unclear how a person's black identity, you know, was verified or whether those mixed race were able to attend for free. Like I said, probably 50% off, but everybody that everybody that's going to show up is going to say, you know, pass the ham hocks, bitch. Uh, the ad did provide a mean for means, excuse me, for black folks to make a donation if they so choose. Oh, they're so quick to the wallet after they eat.

You fucking, even black people. I get black. I know a few black bartenders who go, oh. You know, they're like. It's fucking, I don't know what to say about it. Anyways, all right, let's move on. Ladies and gentlemen, what's the next story? All rise.

All rise. The coach is in session. The coach is in session now. Here come the judge. Here come the judge. Aaron Judge hit his 60th, I'll repeat, 60th home run of the season, tying Babe Ruth and moving within one of Roger Mara's American League record, which is 61.

Remember now, because Barry Bonds and you know who, McGuire, Sammy Sosa, all National League fellas. This guy does steroids in American League. No, I'm kidding. This is why I love this guy. He's 6'7", 260. And first of all, his proportion is a 5'10 guy that weighs 185. This is blasphemous coming out of a Red Sox fan.

I fucking love this guy. I do. He's not a punk. He should be the face of baseball. I was telling Dallas, I've seen enough games this year of the Yankees. I've seen him get called out in his career, I'm not kidding you, at least four or five times with a pitch at least four inches below his knees. Not once did he complain to the ump. Not once. I don't know how you have that type of control. I just think he's a very likable superstar. But no, the LeBron Jameses of the world, they become the face of sports

because they yap and shit on this country. This kid, and a few people don't follow baseball or sports, it's his contract year. In other words, his contract's up after this year. Do you understand? He's having literally a Ruthie and Roger Maris type year. Not only does he have 59 homers and 120-something RBIs, which is leading in both categories by a mile,

he's hitting.316 and.317. He's like a point behind winning the batting title. If he does that, which I would love to see, triple crown, they call it, for you kids who play Dungeons & Dragons. You wouldn't be watching me anyways. I fucking love the kid. Again, as you get older, you mellow out.

If I was 22, I'd say, fuck him. Kill the judge. No, he's just a great guy and a great athlete. Anyways, in the bottom of the ninth last night, he went deep to start the 9-8 comeback win over the Pirates, who literally are like a double-A team. Really, really bad. On Tuesday at Yankee Stadium.

And, um... Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs here! Uh-uh, not in that water. But anyways, this audio of a couple of guys. As you know, John Sterling is the radio voice of the Yankees for years. I thought he retired. I could have sworn they said he retired. Maybe that was TV or whatever.

I don't know. Anyways, he's known for his great calls and home runs. So we got him first and then Michael Kay, who's the TV host of the Yankees station. the TV host of the Yankees station. But this, watch, watch. Every time I've seen this, he hit two against the Red Sox last week. Here we go. Here's John Sterling up first with his call.

The 3-1. Swung on that. There it goes. Deep left. It is high. It is far. And it's. Deep left. It is high. It is far. It is good. He's tied the babe. It's a judge-ian blast.

His 60th home run of the year. Wow. All rise. There comes the judge. Let it go, John. The funnest part of living in New York, when I was living in New York, the Yankees were on every night on the Yes Network. And I would watch, and John Sterling, I think he was, yeah,

he was in the booth with Waldman. But he does that on every home run. It is high. It is high. It is high. At least ten times he blew it. He goes, it is high. It is high. It is high. It is high. At least ten times he blew it. He goes, it is high. It is high.

It is caught at the wall. I don't believe it. And then Phil Mushnick, the writer of the New York Post, would shit all over him. The whole column would be about what a ham and show off. It is high. It is high. Caught by the shortstop. Oh. It was hot. It is hot. Caught by the shortstop. Oh.

It was hilarious. Now, here's Michael Kay, who I've met before. Actually, a very nice guy. We did a gig in New York City for some fundraiser and chatted with him for like 10 minutes. Worked with his wife when I had a radio show in New York. I was filling in for, you know who? Curtis Sliwa, I think. And she was his sidekick, beautiful lady. And she was so nice to me because I hadn't done much radio at that point.

And she was explaining the clock to me and stuff. Very nice. Anyways, this is Michael Kay's call on Aaron's 60th? Did I say 59th earlier? I did? Okay. But here's Michael K. Cool.

It's on the left side for Judge, and here's the 3-1. Drone peaked to left field. There it goes. Number 60. Slide over, babe. You've got some company. Aaron James Judge has tied George Herman Babe Ruth with 60 home runs. Last time I heard the phrase, slide over, babe, I was in college.

I picked up a 300-pound chick from Lewiston. Fell asleep on my shoulder. K may have exhibited more emotion after the historic long ball than Judge himself. But I just, I love the guy. I think he's such a great, come on, Red Sox. I'm telling you. Trade everybody you got. And I'm not saying that because I think the Sox are going to be good next year.

They just had horrible luck. But can you imagine him with that short left field walled? Walled? Walled? That's past tense for a wall. That has walls. Yeah. My house used to have nice walls.

Can you imagine him, though, with a green monster with that swing? Are you shitting me? He'd have 70 by the halfway mark because he hits majestic blasts too. And by the way, this game, Stanton comes up. Was it the bottom of the ninth? They're down by three. What's he do? Hits a grand slam.

So they're starting to find their stride again, but you're not going to get past the Astros. I don't give a fuck what anybody says. And by the way, the Buffalo Bills, I'm saying right now, will win the Super Bowl this year. Buffalo Bills get past the Astros. I don't give a fuck what anybody says. And by the way, the Buffalo Bills, I'm saying it right now, will win the Super Bowl this year. Buffalo Bills will win the Super Bowl. Put your money on it.

Okay, enough of the sports. Let's get back to the gay news. Anyways, there's the rest of that story I just told you about. Giancarlo going long, going high. It is my day. So, this is all edit, obviously. going high. It is my... So... This is all edit, obviously. I don't need this part of the story.

That was my fault. Although I do want to mention... Count me back in. And three, two, one. One more note. They're playing the Red Sox and Michael K. that does the TV thing might get ripped off because the game's on Apple TV, and the MLB won't move it.

Can you imagine? That's not fair. I'm going to stab you through the heart with a fucking pencil. Do you understand me? Yes, I do. But I'm still not putting it on regular TV. So Michael K might not be there when that happens, but that's neither here or there.

Guys, make plans to come see me in the backyard on Saturday. I cut the grass without my shirt on and tight red leather shorts. I'm going to be on the road in November. Here are my upcoming stand-up dates. Friday, November 11th, Palm Beach, Kennell. It's a really nice like, it's, I had a great time there.

Rich white people. And black Republicans who absolutely love, black Democrats love me. Let me be honest. They like honest people. I don't know why they vote for the crooks. That's in West Palm Beach, Florida, where my townhouse is. Saturday, November 12th, the next night, Snappers Comedy Club. Can't wait to see why it's named that.

Fort Myers, Florida. My brother will be coming to see me there. Greg, lower your expectations. Your brother's, you know, he's only played 68 games out of a possible 162. Anyways, Sunday, November 13th, I'll be at Sidesplitters Comedy Club the next night. Tampa, Florida. And at the Tampa gig, I'll be doing a live Q&A after the show

with the people who bought VIP tickets, so grab them before they're gone, you can get tickets to all these shows at nickdip.com, news out of my old hometown, which is becoming embarrassing as far as politics go. Still one of the prettiest places on earth. Great place to grow up. Great sports town. All that is true. Politically in the toilet, embarrassingly liberal, fucking horrible. Headline, puppet to block traffic in Boston. Of course. And I'm not talking about Biden. A group of climate activists, who else, is planning to disrupt busy traffic routes in Boston with a puppet, a big giant puppet,

and banners in order to stop fossil. You don't want to fuck with traffic in Boston. Even, you could have the most liberal guy on fucking 93 South trying to get to whatever, Quincy. I don't care how peace-loving, Obama-like loving they're going to be. Come on, God damn it.

Let's go, let's go. Let's go. That's actually actual audio of Mother Teresa trying to get through Faneuil Hall one night. True story. They're going to have a big banner and a big puppet. The Massachusetts Department of Transportation tweeted about the protest threat to warn the

drivers. Danger, Will Robinson. Danger. No, Will Robinson. Danger. They said they would have as many as 50 protesters. Big deal. They said they would have as many as 50 protesters big deal Send them to Martha's Vineyard and would target at least five traffic sites for the demonstration Boy look at I couldn't find the puppet that they're gonna use but this one

This is a downtown damris on my 17th birthday my parents Found me this doll that I love. Go ahead. Oh, my God, my ass. That is creepy. That doll is creepy. And I don't like that snake tongue. Well And I don't like that snake tongue. Well, I don't like... Yeah, let's give her a brown phallic-like popsicle. The hell was that?

You fucking whore. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. Extinct... The name of the group protested, Extinction Rebellion, has been previously involved in climate protests in Boston. In one instance, the group blocked traffic by blocking the entrance to the Massachusetts Turnpike. Oh, you could get killed doing that. With a 30-foot boat.

In another incident, members were arrested after chaining themselves to a large pink boat parked near, oh God, parked near Governor Charlie Baker's home, the fake Republican. The boat had climate emergency stentled across it. So you know what? I'm guessing the temperature's going to come down on Earth at least two degrees because of that. Come on, God damn it.

Get the fuck out of the way. Let's go. Let's go. Charlie Baker trying to get out of his driveway. In a similar traffic protest in 2021, New York City residents furiously accosted protesters who blocked traffic during rush hour in Manhattan. That was great. I don't know if you guys remember.

Yeah, some people got out of their fucking cars in New York and just, I mean, like guys, and just started beating the fuck out of them. What's the idea? Get upstairs. The key to Moe Howard is him, his timing. When he said, get upstairs, with a slap. The group responded by saying New York would be underwater by 2100.

Well, you're about 80 years late. It's underwater, well, it's under shit. It's technically, it's fucked. You know what I'm trying to say. It's underwater politically. If its demands were ignored. Yeah, we heard that. Again, we heard that from Al Gore in circa 1988, that

Miami would be underwater. And how's that look? It is unclear, the 90s, whenever he was a fucking vice president. It is unclear how a giant sun puppet would help stop fossil fuels. Oh, it's going to be a sun puppet. We'll have an update tomorrow for you.

Because you know they're doing it right now. I hope a bunch of guys from Southie come down there still in their construction garb and start swinging like they used to when there were black kids on a bus going by in 78. Oh my God. Final story of the day, ladies

and gentlemen. More chlorine, please. I thought that was cute. A 33-year-old man spotted by a 17-year-old lifeguard rubbing his crotch and exposing himself at a public pool on Long Island is under arrest. Hunter has a place in Long Island? I had no idea. Hey, little boy. Do you want some candy?

This poor bastard. Wilson Kenny has been... I can't. I almost feel for this guy. If anybody was going to be a pedophile... If you asked me to draw a pedophile, and I never saw this guy, I would sketch this guy. First of all, that bald head, it almost looks like he shaved it. If you guys remember Tommy Boy,

when David Spade's character, his toupee blows. Look at this. How does he even get near the pool? Can't judge a book by its cover? My stem. Wilson Kenney, seen here in a fucking great clips,

has been charged with public lewdness for alleged perversity. This is just for his haircut. That only gets creepier when you stare deeply into his mugshot. You're a crumb creep. According to CBS New York, Kenny was spotted on a park bench by a lifeguard at Forest City Park in Wontar, rubbing and exposing himself. Doesn't look creepy. He was immediately reported to the police. Kenny was set to be

arraigned Monday at First District Court. NBC News reported the Queens native was arrested without incident. He just said, can I get my wig before I go to the tank? Video from CBS showed Kenny in police custody. He was asked by a reporter at the scene if he had anything to say, and he said this. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. That's enough for today. Oh, my God.

What a creep. Wouldn't you try to not draw attention to yourself? Anyhow, that is it, ladies and gentlemen. Don't forget Cameo.com. If you want me to roast a friend or relative, go to Cameo.com, click on my profile. It'll tell you how it's done. I'll make a little video.

I'll give them a verbal beatdown. I'll say, happy birthday to Uncle Ted. Anything else? Sign up at Patreon, please. Tell your friends. Spread it on Facebook like the monkey box. You guys think it. I'll say you're very welcome.

We'll see you back here for the final day of the week tomorrow. Take care. guitar solo Outro Music