The Nick DiPaolo Show - NY Times Whitewashing Terror | The Nick DiPaolo Show #1960

Episode Date: October 1, 2026

In today's episode Nick talks about a California booze ban, a Ukrainian couple and a sea turtle, more lies from the New York Times, and a satellite array that has detected deep space radio waves and a BIG surgical mistake. WATCH THE FULL SHOW LIVE & FREE at 6pm ET only on Rumble! https://rumble.com/thenickdipaoloshow/ TOUR DATES, SOCIALS, PERSONAL VIDEOS, STREAM ALL MY COMEDY SPECIALS! https://www.nickdip.com/ MERCH - GRAB A MUG, TSHIRT, HOODIE, STICKERS AND MORE! https://shop.nickdip.com/

Oh shit, can I play this? Yeah. I'm going to get flagged for that. Huh? That's what I was going to say, but I don't know if that matters. Nobody knows who fucking Jimmy Hendricks is. Anyways, welcome to the show. You know what I'm going to do?

In case? Leave all this in, Jason. Don't stop anything. I'm going to play this one in case. Well, then it's too late after we get fly. Hi, how are you? Great to be here. Hey, one week from tonight, I was going to have butterflies in my stomach, but it's not.

It's that fucking lettuce that has germs on it from Chipotle. Andy ate some, it's weird. We got some food from the, I don't want to say the name because it's a great restaurant, green truck or something like that. Purple, what's it called? I thought I was going to get it wrong. I might not have that place. We ordered some place a couple nights ago.

And all I got was a salad because I was in a salad because I was in a lot. hungry and I had horrible stomach pains. Then Andy makes us eat something a couple nights ago. It was just salad. She gets a little bit of stomach pain. Then last night she made a some shit and she said she was up in the bathroom from like one to five. Just spray paint in the bowl. And I said, why don't you wake me up? My numbers are up. We'll put it on Facebook. She said, fuck you. I twist straight right hand and the cops are there. Now look. Yeah, so I'm wondering. She did some good math in her head,

and she kept, you know, that might be true. And I'll tell you again, kids, don't eat green, healthy shit, it's bad for you. Gives you the shats. Red Sox, I gotta be fair. I talked about them all year when they were doing good, and you know what? Pupu caca, cucka, cucka pooh.

Do I have any? I should have had something here. Anyways. Just the wrong time. Fucking, ugh. Anthony, no gross. Roman Anthony, so, what's his name? Our best hitter is playing with like a half a fractured hand.

Everything just went bluey. And I saw it last week and the week before. Their offense has been in the toilet all month. But again, there were a lot of, and not to make excuses, but I could tell going into this one, and I saw the Yankees heating up, I go, this was, I didn't want to say it to anybody. I didn't want to tell you guys after I built them up so much. But yeah, they got fucking slaughtered two games a row. and that's that.

This is how it goes, though. Let me just say to you managers out there. I can't yell at this Red Sox manager because he should be manager of the year. He took over, he was a minor league coach, took over when they were 14 games under 500. And in 64 days, they were 14 games over 500. Never been done before in the history of baseball.

So he should, but I don't, I guess I have to be in a hypocrite here, I think he's one of those sabermetric fucking guys who has no they all do this they don't play they don't do by the gut anymore like Earl Weaver used to do and and and the first game toli's out there it's going into the fifth inning he's giving up one run against the Yankees and he takes him out last night sunny gray is giving up one run going into the fifth or sixth takes him out guy comes in gives up a fucking bomb I I, oh, and I thought I was the only one that I went online and people, you know, somebody wrote an article about that, actually. So, this old school and new school, but if I'm Trad Chasey, if I'm Trad Chacey, if I'm Trad Chacey, I changed my name to Chad Tracy. I'm telling you, I lost these.

I fucking dropped two IQ. I'd say to me, if I was arguing with him, if I was Chad Tracy, I'd say, well, you weren't complaining when we went 32 and 5 about the number. Right? So nobody know. But when it comes to pitchers, I'm sorry. If they're not touching them, I don't, they, what have I been saying, Dallas all year?

They treat pitches like their fucking kids with leukemia. Ooh, he threw a third of an inning last month. Let's use him in December. I mean, what the fuck? You know what I mean? And then we brought in crochet. It was just a horrible. Crochet hasn't pitched all year since April.

He, you know, fucked up his shoulder, whatever. He's ready to go, fine. at least close enough to put him in the bullpen. He comes in and he wasn't very good either. Everything went wrong. One more comment for you, Yankee, I mean, Red Sox owners. We have a thing called the Green Monster, and I know it's very tall and shit, but it's only about 340 feet away or whatever the fuck it is.

Stop getting me left-handed hitters. Oh, let's hit it off. No, give me some big cock sucker. It looks like he's out of a slow-pitched softball. League. Get me five of those guys that pulled the ball in the air. That's what we did for about

100 years at Fenway. And you know what? We have more World Series than anybody since the turn of the century. Can we get back to some of that? Some fucking Mani Ramirez type guys, even no Mara Gassia parr. Guys that would hit the ball over the fucking wall. It's an advantage. I don't

want to play small ball. I want to play soft ball. Okay? And with some speed. All right? Fucking A. That's that. Anyways, the Bruins are undefeated. I know they played one game. I was telling these guys last night, boy, my physical mess, for a guy that took care of himself,

if I could do it over again, I'd be shooting heroin, right that I had my cock every night in high school and doing steroids in college. I could have been a great running back. Although I do have a lot of friends now that blew their kidneys out. A couple of them are dead. I'm not kidding you. Fucking wasted their kidneys because of Maine football.

Anyways, what was my point? Oh, it hurts my brain. Physical mess. So I'm trying to use the sleep thing again. You know, the little thing, the fucking with the hose and shit. And it's not a big bulky thing. It's not like it was fucking, you know, 10 years ago when you look like you were going into space on the fucking whatever. So I'm trying to get it.

And I couldn't get it really snug. It's got two straps. It must have been designed by a fag or a woman. No fucking idea. And it's got two little things that don't really work. So we have those black sleep masks that you have. We got one with a nice thick elastic band that keeps it on your head. And it's nice and tight.

So I put that on instead and spun it around. So the band is in the front pushing it. against the, and it was working. I could actually, I don't know how you're supposed to breathe out. Maybe you guys have one of these can explain how I'm supposed to breathe out my nostrils, which is important, I heard when you're breathing.

And how are you supposed to do that when you have an 80 mile an hour gust going up your fucking nose? I don't know. But when I put that thing on it, pushed it tight, I was breathing kind of normally, I got to admit, to the point where I kept taking it off to see if it was still blowing air or whatever.

And so I'm like, I might have figured this out. And then I'd say about 25 minutes, this starts to throb, right where the, I got the, my whole, you guys, they did some shit to my gums when they did my teeth. Not my gun, excuse me, my fucking sinuses. Your sinuses are right above your gums. And he had to push my sinuses up. They, apparently they want out. No, I don't know.

But he did that. So my whole face fucking heart. hurts. But I had that thing on. I go, hey, I'm breathing pretty good with this thing. But like I said, after about 20, 25 minutes, it's pushing right on the fucking pain. I ripped that off in the middle of the night. I don't know where it went. Andy's probably looking for it now. So yeah, I'll be dead soon as a point of that story. Speaking of dead, real quick update, we did a story yesterday on this dirty whore who years ago when she was very young. Was it Tennessee? I'm for get. Anyways, there was a friend to hers, a good female friend of hers who, you know, she thought

that she was hitting on her boyfriend or whatever, or sweet on her boyfriend. So they lowered her into the woods and tortured her with a box cutter, cut a panagram into a chest, then cut her throat, and then she hit her over the head with a piece of asphalt, and took the piece of skull as a souvenir. And we're supposed to be all fucking upset because of lethal injections. We did the story. And she wanted an all-female lethal injection team

because she was molested, which I kind of believe pro, but I don't give a fuck. So she wanted an all-male. And then, yesterday, during the beginning of the day, didn't I report that they got to call them? And she wasn't going to go

to the lethal injection. And then I get home, and it's on the news. that she, they tried to kill her last night. I guess they, oh, the Supreme Court overruled it. You ain't for the Supreme Court. I really don't think you should be able to cut up your girlfriend with a box, cut her, cut her throat, and break her head open.

Without dying. Yourself, you filthy whore. So listen to this, though. She might be the devil. This is fucking creepy. And they were talking about the whole controversy is lethal injection, and her lawyers were making up a big deal, how sometimes it works.

sometimes it's painful, blah, blah, blah. Anyways, I guess they threw that all aside last night. The Supreme Court's like, who gives a fuck? So they give her the fucking first shot, which is supposed to just kind of like numb you completely so you don't feel anything. And the second Barber Tal shot is supposed to kill you. Well, guess what?

After two, she was still breathing. Just like fucking Coojo, this bitch. Or Jason, pick a fucking... My wife on the rug. Pick something crazy. Anyways, she doesn't have to do the rag anymore. We do it for fun in role playing. Spray painted, shit.

You're 22. So, yeah, so they try to kill her, and they couldn't. Oh, my God. Now I've changed my mind. I'm like, you know what? I don't know. I'm going to have to say, leave her alone now. Leave her alone.

She fought the law and the law won. Something like that. Did you tell them to jot down time things if I say anything funny? So anyways, that was the update on that. She's still alive. She's still alive. They hit him with three shots and he's still alive. Well, that's bad luck for you.

And it's bad luck for me. That's a godfather for you faggots who like those Marvel movies with a fucking Spider-Man and all those homo fucking people. Oh, I didn't welcome you to the show. What am I doing? The Tonight Show Welcome to the Show. Great show. I got, I don't know.

Got some fucking chick who got famous for 10 minutes and a couple other people. Today I'm going to be talking about shit I already talked about. Take it easy. California booze band. Ukrainian couple catching hell online for riding a turtle. Who hasn't done that? And apparently scientists have found, detected actual radio waves. I mean, from way, way deep.

Picture the old stadium at Cleveland, Santa Feal, 440 feet away. They say they get some, and like I said, okay, we'll take your word for it. We're going to check your work, you're lying cock suckers. That's not nice. If you want to watch your show, you're a sick fuck. And all the shows on Rumble, ad-free, and have access to a ton of premium content on Rumble. Subscribe to Rumble Premium. That'll really help you out.

Let's go to the headlines. Did I get it? Oh, yeah. Party Poopers. California City is considering stopping alcohol sales at local bars after a certain time as strategy to help curb crime. Really? Fucking Irish ruin everything.

No, it can't be Irish. It's California. You know, it's Latinos. Anyways, Redlands is considering prohibiting local bars from selling alcohols. after midnight. Yeah, that's not going to hurt business. That's when it picks up after you get six drinks in you. Yeah, that's two hours before state law requires alcohol sales to stop in hopes of reducing crime. They're going to do this. How about this? You let only whites in. I tried it in the south. The proposal comes after Redlands Police Deputy Chief Jeremy Floyd, no relation to George, said during a city council,

that the city's uptick and crime over the past three years has been tied to late night alcohol and young colored kids. No, he didn't say that. Just laid alcohol sales. Officers have responded more than a thousand calls for service, according to the police.

Authorities say the issues range from loitering and bars over serving customers to more violent crimes. Like, you know, punching a girl in the back of that because she wouldn't dance with you? Who hasn't done it? Who hasn't been there? Over the last three years, we had 44 assault reports, they said,

13 robberies and shootings and weapons violations. Bar owners, however, are pushing back against the proposal. Baron Bowman of Redlands Underground Restaurant and Bar in downtown Redlands told NBC that he sees the most customers after midnight, meaning the bank could have a significant impact on the local economy, especially his joint. Take it easy. Go ahead.

People aren't here to eat at at midnight, typically. They go to Denny's, you know. Will you survive without the alcohol at midnight? Probably not. See how seriously he gone? Denny's. No.

No, they're cutting my lifeline. People usually, you know, after 40 drinks, you want to fucking grand slam. Or, you know, if you want to get stabbed in the ash, you go to the Waffle House. But they don't have those in California. It's not fair to put businesses out of business, he said. Wow, you are a fucking wordsmith.

People aren't here to eat at midnight typically. I know, we just said that. Police, however, say late night calls related to alcohol sales consume a significant amount of their resources, leaving officers with less ability to respond to other emergencies. Yet, if the Dems get back in power, and that's how you guys vote out there in stupid land, you know, they want to defund the police or get rid of them,

altogether. So, you know, again, your choice. I'll stay here. It spreads everywhere you're retardedness. I'm just saying, I mean, come on. It's been like that. That hasn't, well, here's what's changed, once again, not to blame a certain segment of the population. But years ago, at least when I was drinking in my 20s in Boston, and violence broke out, it was fucking, you know, it was what I call wholesome violence. A pack of six Irish guys that couldn't get laid in Daniel Hall, they start swinging at people, especially that look like me. The Irish and Italian in Boston would look at each other. Would just hate each other? I'd look at them and go, look at those faggy blonde eyelashes and fucking freckles. What are you a doll? And then they'd go, look

at you, you greasy wop. And then somebody would throw a Miller light. And it's on. But I'd call it wholesome fighting. But now you've got the crips in the bloods and some kid who hasn't seen his dad or mother. It was literally raised by a pack of fucking anything that's unsibble. Ferrell rat. October 8th, I'll be at

hyenas in Dallas. That's a week from tonight. Folks, and I'm serious. We put this one up late, so I don't know how the numbers are going to be. But if you're in that area, come out. Because I'm serious what I'm saying. I'm using these last four gigs as a barometer as far as numbers whether I want to continue.

I could go on, yes, making an average list. I don't want to do that anymore. I'm having a ball right in this fucking book. I bought a paint by numbers. Doing the old Elvis thing, fucking a dog in the ass while he's playing poker. Have you seen that? Put that one in, Jace.

That's going out. November 5th, the punchline, Atlanta, Georgia. Did I say the first? first one? Kodon. They say it hurt your mind. I don't think so. November 6th, Rivers Casino and Philly. That's a big theater, folks.

You Philly people, Jersey, you've always been great to me. I would always sell out at all those clubs down there. Helium especially. I'd sell out the whole weekend and so Ply, and Jersey, arguably the best state for me.

I did what? Seven, eight hundred people a couple years ago. The night Dana Perino came out. They're probably here to see her. November 7th, Soul Joles, parts on Pennsylvania. And depending on how those go, numbers-wise, and I make some bonuses, I will do Wonders Theater, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina on January 22nd. Go to Nick Dip.com to get the tickets now. While you're there, go to the merchandise page.

We have a lot of junk made in Taiwan. You'll love it. Hats, hoodies, T-shirts, IUDs, Divo hats. we still got the plastic hips and the fucking, we have China now, Nick DePaulo, China. Nice paper plate with my logo on. Also, you want to send a personalized video to somebody? I'll say what you're thinking so you don't have to.

Go to shoutout.us. I'm going to give that one more chance. Anyways, let's move on to get off my back. A Ukrainian couple is being raked over the coals. Oh, my gosh, that sting. online after they filmed themselves riding a nesting sea turtle down a beach

hey at least they weren't blowing a dog which has been happening a lot I'm almost thinking about trying it but I get a female dog I don't know what that meant but that was Ed McMahon from Alabama over there I did not I call my dog a female dog you cock sucker trying to get me in trouble

oh boy take a look at this And, you know, it's, I don't know. I'm drunk. If I was young, it might have been something. I don't think they knew it was pregnant. Not that that matters. But when you're drunk, you do stupid shit,

especially when you're drunk and good-looking, and you're an influencer, which means you're retarded. But they're Russian, right? Check this couple out. Writing a pregnant fucking... Sorry, that's the... Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

A little one? No, they're ignorant. No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. Did we show her? Yeah, there you go. Let me tell you something. If I saw her riding that,

I would have been sniffing the shelf for the next 20 minutes. That's going to go. Holy fuck, I almost forgive him. You know, it's so funny, he's like a idiot bodybuilder. It's not like they hate him enough riding a pregnant turtle, but he's doing this. It's like American psycho,

and he's fucking the girl from behind. He's looking at the meat. I used to do that. Anyways, yeah, so they're taking a beating. Vadim Ornique, 32, a fitness influencer and self-proclaimed calisthenics champion. Calisthenics? What are you? Are you in the gym with those cables and going?

Hook to the wall, jumping jacks. Then Olena Krebchenko, who, hey, Kravchenko, is actually rush. for her. I poop ice cream. No, I'm sorry. That's wrong. I poop sherbet she's a cosmetic doctor. I bet you she built her own ass. Look at that fucking ass. It's like you'd see an ass weekly. Oh my aching stem. Anyways, uh, cosmetic dog. Mama. Mama. Okay, that's he is delicious. What is it with Russian brides? When they're smoking, they're smoking. Anyways, uh, Anyways, Orica Kijenko, that's her cosmetic doctor, both of them were sightseeing in a Razal Had, where I have a duplex.

Have you been to Razel Had? Oh my God, the falls are beautiful. Dead Ukrainians all over the beach. A coastal paradise off Oman, where several species of sea turtles come ashore to be sat on by her. Do you ever think of that? Maybe they catch a glimpse of her while they swim in the low waters. viral photos which were uploaded for

all at Lennox that's her 200,000 Instagram followers showed the couple taking turns sitting on one of the hapless critters while it was depositing a clutch of eggs

and I had a clutch of eggs at Denny's oh my God I didn't know it's 44 eggs I thought I was shooting a scene out of you know what what's that movie when they ate all the boiled eggs

come on Dallas this is a classic huh Paul Noman it's like his most famous movie. Right now people are screaming at the TV at home. Why do I do that to myself? Somebody Google it. I won't be able to think the rest of the show. Cool hand look. Thank you. Meanwhile, Italian conservation project, Bio, biologically. Is that how you say biology class?

Biodocamante, which was among the first to bring the incident to light. Blame the environmental organization for allowing this egregious act to happen. They said in quotes, an association run in a serious and professional manner accompanied by a scientific committee, you know, like Orange Julius used to do, would never allow its volunteers to sit on the shell of a turtle to take a selfie, they fumed on Facebook. Why, is it a big problem? Has it been? I can't accept such an abhorrent level of ignorance. Oh, shut up. Again, if it was two guys, I'd be with you. I'm going to put a turtle shell. I'm going to paint my face like a turtle shell.

Then find her house. Meanwhile, Oman's environmental authority claimed that the pair's actions violated wildlife protection laws and said it had taken the necessary legal action against the individuals. He's going to do 30 months in jail, they said, and she's going to get it real spanking from a bunch of guys. The content created claimed he was misled by the organization and didn't intend to harm the turtle. well that's what everybody says when you do something stupid. I didn't mean to cut my mother's head off. She was getting multi, and I had a lot of coffee in me.

I didn't see the rules, he said. I made a mistake and apologized to everyone, but not the turtles. They were very moody. We almost done? Boy, you couldn't sketch an ass like that was... There's a certain leg in ass like... When I see it in real life, I can't even describe it. When you're trying to tell your friend you saw a hot chick, but it doesn't...

You know, you're not going to do it justice, so you kidnap her and kill it. Put her in the freezer so you can... Show your friends. What's a mare cat? I thought it was like a tractor. I did. A mare cat. Scientists using a vast array of antennas,

welcome to the 60s, have made a unique discovery. That's amazing. A unique discovery coming from out of this world using antennas. I got a cable box that cost me about 200 bucks a month. I can't keep the fucking picture on from all of this world. than eight minutes. These fuckers are picking up FM soft hits 107 and Saturn. What makes the

discovery groundbreaking is that for the first time the signal Earth is receiving is clear. Is that what you and I pick up Dallas sometimes? I'm going to plug this in? A couple of Martians playing jacks. No radio detection has previously been unambiguously localized. Thank you, doctor. Using the the 64 dish array called the Mirkat, scientists have captured radio signals coming all the way. Get this, all the way from Carolina, South Carolina. No, from a distant gas giant planet called Jerry Nadlerville, called Beta Pictoris. I know what you're all thinking. No, not Beta Clitoris. Beta Pictoris. There is the same we're supposed to believe. what somebody didn't just

fucking spray paint that with stencils last night get out of here that's a home run ball in one of the Yankees hit last night heading right for us but they picked up some shit more than 63 and you know what

63 light ears when you consider some of the numbers they put up isn't that far away because we've talked about shit they've discovered hundreds of light years away I mean hundreds of millions light years away which that's when I go shut up.

Guys, you know what a light year is? Let me show you guys who don't. Light travels at 100, 186 miles per second. Do you hear what I said? 1,012, I'm making it up. No, 1,086, I believe, miles per second. So what you do, then you go, how many, how many seconds in an hour, How many hours in a day?

How many days in a week? I do. So picture that. And they go with 63 light years away. How? I just don't understand it. However, anyways, this is what they heard. Hello?

Hello? Hello? Hello? Anybody there? It is 186,000. Thank you. I was close. 186,000 miles per second, guys.

So just do the math if you got a fucking giant forehead and nobody fucked you. However, while this mass, the first time clear signals have been identified directly from a distant planet, rather than its star. It's not a sign of alien life sending signals to earthly compatriots. What the dishes are actually picking up are those signals of a strong magnetic field around the planet, which the daily mail reports is more than 1,000 times more. powerful than Earth's. The signals

allegedly come from the planet's Aurora, Illinois. Ever notice that? Anytime you want to get ripped off? Back in the 80s. Everything was from Aurora, Illinois. Which is similar to that of Earth's

northern and southern lights. Okay. I swear to God, fucking Elron Hubbard's in the back room right in this shit. Never died because he's the devil. The research has explained in their paper that although auroral radio bursts are observed in solar system planets and in some ultra-cluld dwarfs like this one, no radio detection. No radio detection has previously been unambiguously localized to an extrasolar planet rather than its host star, which is Jimmy Kimmel.

Good night, everybody. The discovery comes from the same region scientists have looked at on four separate. occasions where they have previously discovered that the region star has four orbiting planets, plainly named Beta Pictaurus A, Beta Pictaurus B, and I'll let you fill in the rest, all the way up to D. All of a sudden they go from geniuses to retarded kids. A, let's call it Bictor C, you have to think. Beta pictoris B size is also something to marvel at it.

Picture a live Dolly Parton. and a bathing suit when she was 18. Or a dead one now with nothing on. It is 12 times the mass of Jupiter, so picture precious his ass when she was precious. Also, its distance from the star at orbit is about the distance between Saturn and the car in front of you, which is Akia. 886 miles is that distance, so that story is way too long.

I don't remember any of it. Let's move on. But I love that bit. by Nate Brigazzi, you know, okay. I mean, I'm going to challenge these guys. You're going to actually, no, you were wrong. You were off by 54 late years.

But let me just say this. If it is, it's real, which are probably, it has to be fascinating. That has to be fucking go to work and every day somebody builds a more powerful telescope and it's got to be fascinating. I don't put it up there as exciting as doing a podcast four days a week,

but it's really going to be tremendous. this. Everybody knows you never go full retire. Oh, terrific. In our West Coast Stupid segment tonight and let me just preface it. I'm calling this West Coast stupid, but I mean, this stupidness

and ignorance is all over the world thanks to the internet, but I'm just saying this one was especially egregious. California influences are being ridiculed online after they were filmed seemingly taking photos in an ambulance where

a patient was receiving treatment. Did I hear what you? Did you hear me? It wasn't like it was parked somewhere. They're trying to use. The doctors are using the fucking, and these people are going, I want to get some hits. The clip, which has blown up on TikTok and Reddit,

shows a man in a white outfit, seemingly posing on the emergency vehicle's gurney with a cigarette in his mouth, which is always good to get some cigarette smoke in the back of that ambulance for the next guy. as his female accomplice snaps photos. Nearby, paramedics are seen prepping a patient for transport.

Now, if I had money in a budget, would cut to some guy going, where's your liver? Where's your tits? Appalled over the Cretan's obtuse shoot, a stranger approaches the opportunists and physically pushes them, thank God for the stranger, pushes them away from the scene,

seemingly prompting them to protest. That's what the part which appalls me. It's dumb enough what they're doing already. But then somebody points out, do you understand we're trying to treat an actual patient here? And they have the gall to fucking argue. And this is an epidemic. It really is.

I mean, that's what it's turned into. Everybody just wants, because you make money if you put something out there, it goes viral. So now you get the whole, you know, almost every person under whatever, 40, 30, just, you know, you're getting raped by eight guys and instead of fucking helping you,

they're like, wow, can imagine this? It's gonna fucking, it's gonna put eight bucks in my pocket. Let's take a look at a little bit of the video so you can throw up. I'll do the sound effect. Hey, get out of there, you dumb California twat. Got another one. Look at, look at it.

This guy's, This guy's half dead. Oh my God. We're coming apart at the seams. This guy's got eight minutes to get a liver. And meanwhile, this guy's going, let me finish a cigarette. We got one more scene left.

Oh, my fucking word. We are losing it. Oh, retort alert. Retard alert. Jason, we had all these fucking great clips from the Sopranos that are in the ether somewhere. I know they're in my phone in a folder. If we could just get them to the fucking.

We had to throw out the sound bite thing that we used to use because it's out of business. Naturally, it's something so easy I figured out. Replace it with something that would make Stephen Hawking cry after looking at. Anyways, so then some influencer, yeah, you can leave that. Then some influencer himself was like really huge. He was actually calling these idiots out. He called the stunt an example of peak influencer dystopia where the entire world is becoming a stage for the most vapid, people imaginable to perform on their phones.

Well, how did you get so big at it? Well, maybe I don't, maybe I have it wrong. You're not a giant influencer, but everybody says you were, you're like the expert on this. So how did, how did you do it? What did you put up like instructional films, how to peel a cucumber and make a nice fucking devil's egg? Talk to me, you bitch. Oh, all right. Akin Russian woman's asses in my face.

I can't even see you. Let's move on to the old lying gray. lady. I'm not talking about Joy Behar. The editors of the New York Times responded to online Shira in ridicule over their headline that minimized the alleged attempted hijacking of a plane heading to Israel. We reported on it yesterday. Real quick, I'll just summarize for you. Co-pilot in the fucking couple, I don't know, into the flight, couple of, tries to stab his pilot to death, the captain, with a knife. Luckily, it's filled with Israelis.

And if you know anything about Israel, when you're six months old, they throw you in the army. You get a black belt by the time you're fucking three. And luckily, there were a couple pilots on the fucking plane. Leave it to the, that's how you know your ethnicity has been attacked its whole life. You could just grab a random Jew and, you know, They're ready to fucking

The minute you're born they give you that tattoo never again running your floor anyways one guy goes into the cockpit a passenger who wasn't a pilot the plane was dropping this is right out of a fucking movie

written by Jews I uh no and he fucking the plane was sort of tilted and he pulled back on the thing and he said he learned that from watching it's a show over here I don't know the Jewish name

I haven't taken Yiddish in years but there's a plane a show over here that it's like an hour long of clips of actual plane crashes and they break down what happened and shit and he said he watches that show all the time and he was just watching it a couple weeks ago and knew to pull up

I think I would have known that but after that I would have went uh oh now what and luckily for him there were other pilots while many were praising the crew passengers who rush to stop the alleged terror attack, which is what it was on Wednesday. The Times, that's the New York Times, was seemingly downplaying the incident on social media.

This is how the New York Times reported it. And this is why we've got to stop blowing these places up. I'm kidding. Breaking news, this is from the New York Times, a plane flying from Dubai to Israel, that just sounds dangerous, I'm sorry, was diverted after an altercation between the pilot and code. keyword altercation. And I just told you what really happened. The co-pilot took a knife out and stabbed the guy about 12 times.

But that's an altercation at the New York Times. Yet if it was a fucking white, fucking copilot and a black pilot, that would have been rape, murder, and New York Times and you people who read it, you're just fucking evil. I'm tired of you. I'm fucking tired of you to the point where I'm almost, you can't hate him enough. And it's robbing my comedy. of me. I can be funny though when I'm

fucking hating on these fucking lib cock-sucking motherfuckers. I've made a living out of it. Can you imagine a fucking altercation? You're lying. Talking about you, gray lady. A community note provided context.

That's when somebody puts something bullshit up on X. And again, thank you, Elon Musk. And they have something called community notes. I put the actual facts up there that you can check. A community note provided context the Times had neglected to mention. This was not simply an altercation between pilots. The co-pilot stabbed the captain, attempted to take over the aircraft with mostly Israeli citizens on board, children included. Passengers forcibly subdued the attacker.

After the plane dove 15,000 feet, critics pounced on the opportunity to pummel the New York Times on social media. Somebody said, this isn't real journalism. Well, thank you. An altercation is how you describe an argument. An attempted terrorist hijack it is how you describe this incident. Dysodicy and deception is how you describe the New York Times. Said a clever fillback. B.A.K.

Speaking of simple. Just a little scuffle between two guys. You know, nothing to see here. Somebody said. After five hours into the online kerfuffle, the Times released a defiant. statement again tone deaf our headlines and I quote and live coverage contain all the facts were able to confirm as we confirm the you know what then don't confirm it till they're all in

the statement read unlike activists and partisans do you see do you guys know what projection is if you went to a shrink you'd know it's basically you know you project your faults on somebody else it's what the libs and the left done their whole life You're racist and you're, you know, like this here, saying partisans and activists. Oh, yeah, that's the right you're describing. Unlike activists and partisans, we don't publish speculation or unverified information. You don't. Is that really true again?

You're lying. You're a piece of shit. Netanyahu, who I love, by the way. Again, I understand. Look, I've come a long way. People hate the Jews. And at least in this country, the number one reason is because they have a bigger presence than they should running our government.

So, and I can, I kind of understand some of that, but not to the point we stab people and killed, you know, that fucking horseshit. But you can't, if you look up Netanyahu, he was in the military and he was a hero, and he fucking walked to walk. So shut up. And here he is, greeting, I think this is the passenger who was just a regular, he was a plumber, as a matter of fact. Only a Jewish plumber

will be smart enough to fly a plane in an emergency. Can imagine having my cousin fucking Tony? What the fuck is this? Like, pull on this thing. It says Spamoni's going to come. What the fuck? Netanyahu greeted this guy.

This is great. Check it out. Trump would do the same. He's got blood on him. He doesn't want to hug him. They said that in the paper. Look at that. He was like, fuck this. I got a men's warehouse. I'm a Jew.

I buy wholesale. Ah, I'm Tel Aviv, huh? You hear that? I'll translate for it if you don't speak yuckish. That was Netanyahu go. Those crazy sand monkeys, huh? Did you fuck them up? Good for you.

We're going to give you a voucher to Aruba. You and your wife enjoy it. That's about it. I'll go one more. My favorite story of the week. We always end on a high note. The headline is, how could you? An Ohio woman, this one makes me laugh because it's not happening to me.

An Ohio woman has filed suit after waking up, an older lady, waking up from surgery to discover a horrible mistake had been made. She wanted tapioca pudding. They bring her chocolate, which she's allergic to. No, it's even better than that. Her surgical team had amputated the wrong leg. did you hear what I said according to the civil complaint Sharon Jacks who is now a double amputee

was scheduled to have a below the knee amputation of her right leg at Selby General Hospital in Marietta, Ohio you might want to jot that one down put it on the fridge on a magnet of some shit on September 19th of last year to address a dangerous skin cancer that was on her leg she went into surgery

and when she woke up the wrong leg had been taken off you can hear her trying to yell the doctor looked up his cross eye yeah what I do the wrong lead had been taken off

Brad Lane told the outlet that's the lawyer her lawyer it defies the explanation obviously he says the limb that was originally supposed to be amputated had to later be removed and much what makes it even worse she was supposed to be on

dancing with the stars next week I know she doesn't look at her, but she can cut her out. Now she can't even vacuum one. Good night, everybody. Oh, that's one. I think that might be the one. Prevent spread over. And yes, so they're cutting the leg off to prevent the, you know, carcinoma from spreading to the lymph nodes.

And like the result in a fatal prognosis. But now she's a throw pillow. Congratulations. This left her without either fucking leg. Yeah, we can do the math. This is Christ. You know what? Seriously, Dallas, I don't know who's doing the editing on the... I want that whole thing from when I just stopped two seconds ago.

I want that whole... I think that might be. I usually don't like long, you know, a minute or left, but with that one, I think there was like a left and a right, and then I caught him. We have a video. I don't even remember what it is, Jason. Surprise me. Hey, nice move there. Stumpy!

My God. That's uncalled for. Why look at you now, you stupid fuck. That's a doctor. Oh, shut up, it doesn't hurt. Did you give her anesthesia? According to the complaint, the medical team had two surgical timeouts. No, those aren't people at home going.

That's how they got punished. The head surgeon goes, go in that corner and stay there for two minutes. Come out when you're ready to cut the right leg up. They had two timeouts. I'll tell you what a timeout is as far as surgeons ago. A timeout is a safety practice. surgical teams use to make sure they have the correct patient,

the correct procedure, and the correct location before they proceed. Well, you know what? I'd scrap that. Apparently, you need seven timeouts. Are you fucking folks, and I know this for a fact, when you have something removed, sometimes not even removed,

when you're going to have surgery somewhere, and you get a left one and a right one, whether it's an arm or leg, they put a big X on the one that has to be, so this is fucking hilarious. Not to her. Husband's laughing his balls off. Brad Lane, Jack's, that's

attorney, the lady's attorney, added every person in that operating room is responsible to make sure that this is verified before moving forward. And that includes the doctor, the staff, the nurses, the anesthesiologist, everybody that's

involved. And that is true. Do you understand? So, you're all fired or he's going after all of you but that is true but can I just say this maybe

stop hiring kids who couldn't work at Walmart I don't know I'm not talking about the surgeons but I'm sorry but the surgeon is at the top of out list the anesthesiologist is like what the fuck I just knocked her out

pin this shit on me anyways can you imagine we're joking here but mother of God. The lawsuit does not seek a specific monetary award, but two legs made of mahogany. Leave it to the court to award compensatory punitive damages for Jacks

to cover previous and future medical expenses. Like scuffering her flaws with her stumps. It's going to be ugly down there. That's it for the week, ladies and gentlemen. Again, thank you for tuning in and keeping my blood pressure at 178 over 171. I appreciate the help. Don't forget cameo.com.

If you'd like me to roast a friend or a relative, go to cameo.com. It's a lot of fun. Make people cry that you hate. It's really fucking, it's not like cutting a lady's wrong leg off. That's a lot of fun. That's it. You guys, thank it.

I'll say, very welcome. Have a great weekend with your friends. and do whatever you do, drink and drive. Don't listen to the cops. All right, see you on Monday. Take care. Hi. Good night, everybody.