The Nick DiPaolo Show - Our National Nightmare Is Over | Nick Di Paolo Show #1681

Episode Date: January 21, 2025

In this episode Nick talks about President Trump’s Inauguration, Musk’s Excitement, Trump Cleaning House and a Wildfire “Conspiracy”! To watch FULL EPISODES and get ALL RUMBLE PREMIUM content AD FREE, join by clicking the red RUMBLE PREMIUM button – enter Promo Code MUGCLUB and get $10 off an annual subscription! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow/exclusive MERCH - https://shop.nickdip.com/ TOUR DATES AND MORE - https://nickdip.com 2/20/2025 - Bricktown Comedy Club – Tulsa, OK 2/21/2025 - Funny Bone Westport, St. Louis, MO 3/13/2025 - Hyena’s, Albuquerque, NM 4/25/2025 - Cohoes Music Hall, Cohoes, NY 5/15-16/2025 - Zanies, Rosemont, IL SOCIALS - https://bio.site/nickdipaolo

Music playing Hey, hey, welcome to the show folks. Monday, another Monday. I was supposed to do fly out today to do Crowder tomorrow and the next morning but weather all over the country and even here in Savannah we're gonna get a couple inches of snow. What? And then climate change, you ass. Shut the fuck up, look back in history. Anyways, and you Houston airport, it's all a mess out there. So we're rescheduling for next week. Maybe I'll celebrate my birthday.

I'll be coming home on a plane. Maybe I'll blow a gate. Birthday. There you go. Maybe they'll sing happy birthday. I'm going to tip off one of the, I'll find a gay flight attendant and go, look, it's my birthday birthday can you guys do a thing on the speaker and I don't know maybe give me a hand job I know you're a guy but what the fuck I'm in the air it's my

birth anyways lot to get to so yeah so we'll do shows this week Thursday KP Burke very funny comedian Navy veteran young, who opened for me a few years ago in Pennsylvania, some beautiful theater, and he killed. And he's funny and he's a conservative, he's a vet, and he's got a book out and a special, so we'll have that Thursday, that interview of this week. All right, let's get right to it because we do have a shitload. I say that in the watch, 11 minutes, and we're tapped. And congratulations to the Ohio State Buckeyes national champions of the first 12-team playoff. And they were killer. And Notre Dame hung in there last night, but it's so funny, the beginning of the year,

somebody mentioned Ohio State. I mean, before the, you know, during fucking late summer. And whoever that was, I don't remember who. Turns out they was right. All right, let's get to it. Big day yesterday, Trump inauguration. And it was beautifully run. They had to change.

You always have a contingency plan, I'm guessing. Weddings do, so I'm guessing they're fucking, and they were gonna do this outside, and they moved it inside. It went off without a hitch. Why? Because there's a delge run on the fucking thing. That's all I'm gonna say. Carrie Underwood, by the way, they've given her shit on it. The music didn't work and she's been through this. She's a pro and she sang acapella and Joe Biden was staring at her ass the whole time. I'm not kidding

you. When she came out, he went like this. I was trying to get it on my phone, then I went, oh, fuck it. He looked down at her ass twice. So he's still got that. Which I told you, my dad at Alzheimer's, that's the last thing that went away. I told you this story many times,

a nurse came in, my mother is in the room with me, a nurse comes in, young, cute girl, and then leaves. My father looks at my mother, and this is when he was already uber. He goes, nice, huh? Who are you? My mother.

Oh my god. My mother just looks at me and goes, all right. Anyways, we'll sum it up in a nutshell with a quick clip. I can sum up the whole day yesterday, and our national nightmare is over. What are we doing? What's going on right now? Bye bye, dickhead.

Let's do it again. Yeah, can we do that again? Oh my god. What are we doing? What's going on right now? Bye bye, dickhead. Who did that? That's better than any movie AI shit.

Oh my God. Anyways, inauguration. If you love Trump, you got a ton of them yesterday. And I was so happy. He made a couple of funny quips here and there. And I was, oh my God, I can't wait for his, can't wait for his speeches and his, he's just a different odd dude think about this

10 years ago people going who the fuck does he think he is running for president nobody knew nobody knew he's a born salesman and that's what it takes and a lot of smarts you people on the left you've been wrong about everything your whole life politically as far as this country goes. I mean, if you like Marxism, socialism, all that shit that's never worked, go find a place where it does. We found a guy that gets this and gets us, just maybe in the nick of time, hopefully. I'm still nervous about his safety. I'll say that till the day he fucking leaves. But anyways, this is clip one of Mr. Trump. Let's take a look.

What a good feeling. We like winning, don't we? What a good feeling. We're going to make our country a greater country. Hello America. We're all over America. I'm thrilled to be back with so many friends, supporters and true American patriots on the eve of taking back our country. That's what we're going to do, take back our country. Tomorrow at noon, the curtain closes on four long years of American decline, and we begin a brand new day of American strength and prosperity, dignity and pride. All dirty words from the Democrat Party.

Once and for all, we're going to end the reign. A failed and corrupt political establishment in Washington. A failed administration. We're not going to take it anymore. We're not gonna take it. I love, I think we have clips of him indoors in the rotunda. And Biden is sitting right there with Kamala and every other douchebag lefty and no he's shitting on him he's roasting them right in front of him just shitting on him biden doesn't even know he's looking at his watch his balls his dick he's looking for a girl's head

to sniff kamala has that twat look on her face that she always does and should embarrass. I felt embarrassed for them. Anyways, next clip please, producer. We're going to stop the invasion of our borders. We're going to reclaim our wealth. We're going to unlock the liquid gold that's right under our feet. Liquid gold. Story Ninja, pull them out near me like American black gold Texas we're going to bring back law and order to our cities we're going to restore patriotism to our schools get radical left woke ideologies the hell out of our military and out of our government thing is people I said this I really should be on Fox, sitting next to Jesse or fucking, I mean, I have an open invitation with Gutvella. I just, I'm not gonna fly, I just, whatever.

You guys know the story, I've done the show a few times and, anyhow, but I, the thing is other politicians, other presidents make all these promises. But he's already been president and kept them. So people tend to believe him. That kind of counts for a lot, sort of. Sort of the reason he won, I think. Next. Jesse, by the way, my point was Jesse said the exact same thing five minutes after I said it to my wife.

And she goes, what the fuck? Why are you up there? Doing your stupid little show, you cocks. I said, who the fuck are you? I put fuck why are you up there doing a stupid little show you cocks I said who the fuck are you I put her hand you know that grill she bought me right in there I put a slice of cheese go ahead over the past eight years I have been tested and challenged more than any president in our 250 year sister. And I've learned a lot along the way. The journey to reclaim our republic has not been an easy one, that I can tell you. Those who were to stop our cause have tried to take my freedom and indeed to take my life. Just a few months ago in a beautiful Pennsylvania field an assassin's bullet ripped through my ear

but I felt then and believe even more so now that my life was saved for a reason I was saved by God to make America great again. I had to argue with you know me God, I don't know where I stand with him. I'll find out soon. If I keep sleeping two hours a night and eating like I did this weekend. I got some blood tests back. It's so funny. All that fucking, all those good numbers I had, I don't know, ten months ago. But I know why, because I hadn't worked out, not that you guys give a fuck. I hadn't worked out in almost two and a half months, because I was sick all of December and shit.

And, you know, ate like shit, and it showed in the fucking numbers. But I know that, I have the knowledge. Here he is doing what? Some EOs, we call them. Here's some executive orders he's gonna pass. Today I will also declare a national energy emergency. We will drill baby drill. Next I will direct all members of my cabinet to Marshal DeVos. But enough about Carol Jean.

Motherfucker! I choked! To defeat what was record inflation and rapidly bring down costs and prices. Instead of taxing our citizens to enrich other countries, we will tariff and tax foreign countries to enrich our citizens. What a novel idea. After years and years of illegal and unconstitutional federal efforts to restrict free expression. I will also sign an executive order to immediately stop all government censorship and bring back free speech to America. Never again will the American power of the state be weaponized to persecute political opponents. Something I know something

about. This week I will also end the government policy of trying to socially engineer race and gender into every aspect of public and private life it Yeah, yeah, yeah. And again, like I said, his promises carry some weight. It's got a proven record. That's a lot of shit to take on. And I'm going to say it again because the media hasn't changed. I can just tell by their questions when he was signing shit.

Some woman from South America, of course, all she was interested in was South America, that left a stupid mentality. Excuse me. Anyways, here he is talking about the golden age. I'm heading into my golden years. Well, my kid. I told you. Alice, I told you my analogy.

Life is a football game. I think it's, I say every, yeah, let's say the every 20 years is a quarter, you know, because about 80 is about right, I think. And yeah, so that will be at, when I was 40, that was half time. I'm 63. So 60, end of the third quarter, it'll be 60. I'm in the first few minutes of the fourth quarter, folks, and here's the thing. My third string quarterback, and I got no punter, and the wins are in my face, and I'm on my own three. And you need a two-point conversion. And I need, oh, perfect. And I needed two, that just sums it up. And you know me I'll make it down there and I'll fucking I'll get sacked

Throw the ball away. Anyways Don't you like that analogy? I think a lot of people gonna be using that I sound like Trump I think a lot of people I came up with it. Yes, did I sit in McDonald's? Geez, they make a good burger Golden age America will be respected again and admired again Golden Age. We will not be conquered. We will not be intimidated. We will not be broken. And we will not fail from this day on. The United States of America will be a free sovereign and independent nation.

That's my favorite thing he said. We will live proudly. We will dream boldly and nothing will stand in our way because we are Americans, the future is ours and our golden age has just begun. That's how he ended it. Thank you. God bless America. Thank you all.

Nice pick. Absolutely. Well done. Best speech ever as far as this shit goes. Yeah, you can argue all you want, but you're probably not gonna because I'm preaching to the choir out there. I can tell by my numbers. Listen. He's signing an executive order here

and he takes a little zing zangler, like I said, not in this, but in the Rotundra where Carrie Underwood sang and shit. Did I mention she had to go acapella? Because the music went and she fucking nailed it. Nick, yeah, you just mentioned it. Have a cup of coffee, you fuckstain. Huh?

I fumbled a snap. Game over. Here he is taking a shot at Biden while he's signing an executive order the next item sir is a freeze on all federal hiring excepting the military and a number of other excluded categories again until our full control of the government is achieved for me. Could you imagine Biden doing this? I don't think so. He's cracking himself up it's freedom baby oh it's good to have him back even if that was it how the fuck honestly if you dislike the guy or you're on the

other side you know you fucking you're in the wrong country this guy is us with more brains. And I like he's braggadocious and should be for what he's accomplished. I think this blows that theory out of the water too. Oh, he was born on third base. I don't know. I don't think so. He pulled all this shit off. Yeah, but he wouldn't have been who he.

Come on. What, any of them? Ah. Beautiful, it's a beautiful thing. I'm gonna tell you something. Of course, it didn't go off without controversy. Elon Musk was there who, talk about a first round draft choice that's.

He's a first round draft choice that's, he's a first round draft choice and boy he is filling expectations. We always knew he was brilliant and he was a little liberal but he has to be the smartest guy that changed his politics. And yes, I'll keep an eye on him. Same with him and Zuckerberg, you gotta keep an eye on them, they're that fucking smart.

I think they should get Chuck Zito, the guy that used to the former Hells Angel, he was on HBO show, he can guard the... anyways, Musk bounced out there happy as a pig and shit the Anti-Defamation League defended...here's where...and you guys always about Israel, Israel, it's the Jews, Nick, it's the Jews. And again, sorry, I see how the scum Palestinian garbage lives in what they do, sorry.

But anyways, this is the stuff I understand. I think this is where the real far right conservatives have a problem and it's a little legit the anti-defamation I did a show a couple years ago I want to say Bethlehem Pennsylvania after the show this old woman comes up to me and gives me a no is in Vegas how can I confuse those two she comes up and gives me an ADL pen and I'm going is she saying that because you know I do saying saying the Jews, I got some great Jew jokes. So I don't know, she seemed like a fan.

She was either there to see me, because she was a fan, or she was watching, scouting me. Anti-deafmation league defended Elon Musk on Monday after billionaire tech mogul thanked supporters of President Trump with a gesture that some left wingers on social media referred to as a fascist salute. I don't see it.

Where would they get that idea? Holy shit, if you were going to teach somebody how to do it, it's an instructional film. Fucking Hitler would blush wash in that going, me, it's got to be about that. Anyways, it's the, hey, lefties, I get it. I mean, you're looking for anything to shit on Trump. And I get it. But his actions sort of refute this shit. But we'll show you in a second how he did it.

It's not, it's the form he used. I went back and looked at all my old Nazi tapes that I saved up. It seems that Maass made an awkward gesture and a moment of enthusiasm. I'm surprised the ADL has given him a break on this. Not a Nazi salute, the anti-Semitism watchdog wrote. That's the ADL. Which is great because we're going to talk to Noam D'Walman, real Jew himself,

owns the comedy cell, a great fucking guy, U Penn Law School, love him. Anyways, we're going to interview him, I think we might be playing that next week. Anyway, Musk, and he wants to talk about Andy Souther, Musk 53 caused a stir on the internet after he placed his right hand over his heart and then extended his arm in the air like he just scored a 70-yard touchdown. As if to signal he was giving his heart to Trump supporters. Okay, I would have done this. This is a little more like this.

This has got a bad connotation. Ahead of the inauguration day, pray inside. Let's go to the video tape Oh, here's the first one where this guy is happy as a pig and shit before we show it. Let me do my read Tour dates real quick go to Nick dip comm February 20th Bricktown Comedy Club. Why am I looking at this? There you go Bricktown Comedy Club, Tul am I looking at this? There you go, Brick Town Comedy Club, Tulsa, Oklahoma. The next night, ooh, Nick, what are you fucking doing? February 21st, the Funny Bone, St. Louis, Missouri.

March 13th, Hyena's, Albuquerque, New Mexico. April 25th, Cajos Musical, Cajos, New York. May 15 and 16, we're already talking about that about that will be a month into the goddamn baseball season May 15 and 16 one of my favorite places zanies in Rosemont, Illinois And there'll be more to come All right. Oh also If you want to support the show buy some shit We got a lot of new stuff Nick DePaulo D double D double D cup bras a

grab a hat or hoodie a mugs t-shirts baseball shirts and again signed IUDs go to nickdip.com if you're watching the free version of this show, you can watch full episodes of my show in louder with Crowder and all exclusive rumble content ad free without one subscription. Click the link in the description below, then click the rumble premium button, click the red premium button below and enter promo code mug club one, to get $10 off an annual subscription. Do that, you'll be glad you did.

Hi, good night everybody. Oh, you're the one for me Oh, you're the one for me I'm gonna be a man Thanks for watching!