The Nick DiPaolo Show - Paper Coup Continues | Nick DiPaolo Show #260

Episode Date: November 19, 2019

MONDAY - THURSDAY 11AM ET #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! You gotta get it. guitar solo Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. All righty. Now this thing's crackling in my ears. Anyways, what is going on? Mike, turn the mic down a little, Rez. There you go, right there. How are you, folks? Welcome to the big show on a Monday evening. That's right, baby.
Starting point is 00:01:31 What a weekend I had. I did a couple of gigs. Cortland, New York, the Repertory Theater, 240 seats, 240 tickets sold. The next night, two shows, the comedy work, Saratoga Springs, both shows sold out. And I want to thank everybody that came out while I was on stage I said who listens to the show I'm telling you better than three quarters this is exciting it's only going to get better
Starting point is 00:01:53 trust me we'll be a force I will be kicked off fucking YouTube soon that's how it works in this left wing fascist liberal mindless PC fucking culture that we're created for ourselves. And the sham of a friggin impeachment hearing. Oh, my God. What is this, Russia? Soviet Union, circa 1940. Adam Schiff is an evil fuck. Evil. Just a guy who got bullied, I'm hoping, his whole
Starting point is 00:02:24 life. He's got that look in his eye, like, I'm sick, and Trump looks like I got it stuffed in my locker. I'm going to take him down. And that's what all this is about. If you don't agree with this, you're being intellectually dishonest. And how you can vote Democrat after watching this, and after watching the Mullapro, and the Kavanaugh hearings, is just sickening, sickening. He soon as some of these Republicans get on a roll on the hearing, he shuts them down. He said months ago, the key is to to talk to the whistleblower. And then he changed on that. It doesn't matter. We don't need him.
Starting point is 00:03:00 It's fucking insane what's going on. And I love Trump once again. Well, what was the broad's name? You're out of it. Sure. Whatever. She's testifying. He's tweeting real time saying she was fucking, you know, incompetent moron. That's why I get rid of people go.
Starting point is 00:03:17 That's tampering with. It's intimidating the way you can't have it both ways. Ladies, if you want to play in a men's world, you can't go. He's intimidating me with his tweets. You're sitting there bragging how great a fucking ambassador she was or whatever she did. And now you're going, oh, that's not fair. Trump's intimidating. She goes, I'm intimidated. Here's your safe space right here, lady. Right here with your fucking safe space. Fucking Trump is my soulmate. If this guy looked like Melania, I'd be fucking him. Unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:03:48 I can't believe what I'm watching in America in 2019. It really is a fucking... Adam Schiff, his big witnesses were guys that heard shit third hand. Unbelievable. And then they're having other people
Starting point is 00:04:03 testify behind closed doors. After you see this shit on C-SPAN, they go back downstairs to the basement. This is fucking, it's a paper coup. It's a paper coup is what it is, which is the name of my next special. Paper coup. Anyhow, it's fascinating TV. The fucking left, you have lost your mind. I'm telling you, Bloomberg and the thick-ankled dog face are going to jump in. And this is, you're watching an effort to undo a president who was duly elected by the American
Starting point is 00:04:40 fucking people. That's all this is. They know they can't beat him on the issues. The economy's going through the roof as usual. Unemployment record lows. Excuse me. They have no ideas. They have not passed any legislation. They don't even have intelligence briefings. I heard Devin Nunes on TV. They're not even the Republicans don't get they don't have intelligence briefings, which that means fucking Al-Qaeda could hit us today or tomorrow and nobody would know what's going on. This is how slanted this is. It's fucking crazy. And it's really getting my blood to
Starting point is 00:05:14 burrow. And this is what I say to Adam Schiff. Man, fuck you and your bone spurs. You know you're on crazy motherfucking walk. I don't know. Saw Joe Biden on TV. He's sharp as ever. What are we doing? What's going on right now?
Starting point is 00:05:31 You're in a nursing home and you're shitting your pants and you can't spell your last name. That's what's going on, you mama Luke. You fucking cheese eater. Anyways, Nancy Pelosi was on Face the Fucking Stupid Nation. And the headline from that, well, House Speaker Pelosi refuted Republicans' claims that the president has not had the opportunity for due process. First of all, how do you refute that? How do you refute that when they're not letting them call the witnesses? I'm not asking you, Rich.
Starting point is 00:06:05 Finish your doodling over there. Rich came with an eight hundred dollar jacket on today. It's fucking twelve thousand dollar shoes. And then he leaves and goes to Arby's and finishes his shift. Anyways. So, yeah, Republicans say Trump hasn't had the opportunity to do process, which is a fucking fact. Saying the president has ever. Excuse me. Saying that the president, she says, has every opportunity to present his case. That's what Pelosi said. I don't know who's listening to this twat, but here she is on Face the Nation.
Starting point is 00:06:42 Another week of hearings. There'll be an intelligence report written up. And then what? Does the president get, as he says, to confront his accuser or get due process? Confront his accuser? Confront the whistleblower? Presumably. Well, I will make sure he does not intimidate the whistleblower.
Starting point is 00:07:02 Pause. And how are you going to do that, old lady? He already did intimidate her. She said she was intimidated. I will make sure. Listen to these fucking fascist knots. Go ahead. Play this.
Starting point is 00:07:14 The president could come right before the committee and speak all the truth that he wants. You don't expect him to do that. If he wants to take the oath of office. Or he could do it in writing. He has every opportunity to present his case. But it's really a sad thing. I mean, what the president did was... More.
Starting point is 00:07:36 More. Huh? I'll break it up. Give me a second. What happened? White take at the end. I can finish it if you want. I know she's she's saying what what what Trump did is worse than what President Nixon ever did.
Starting point is 00:07:55 First of all, this is she was dead against the impeachment. Right. For political reasons. But, you know, and she's saying it's it's way worse than what fucking Nixon did. Do you really believe that? She's a malignant cunt. Oh, you got that right. Yeah, he could have come right before the committee and spoke all the truth he wants to, she says.
Starting point is 00:08:15 But we can't hear from the whistleblower. Does the whistleblower even exist, for Christ's sake? You know? It's Eric Chamella is who the fucking whistleblower is. Anyways. Oh, God. It's really a sadle is who the fucking whistleblower is. Anyways. Oh, God. It's really a sad thing what the president did was so much worse than even what Nixon did. At some point, Nixon cared about the country enough to recognize that this could not continue.
Starting point is 00:08:40 You fucking. And a fucking hypocrite. You fucking hypocrite. Really? You care about the country your party cares about the country first the russia hoax then kavanaugh you think this is all good for the country the kavanaugh hearings now this i've even heard her say impeachment is a bad thing for the everybody agrees on that both the left and the right you're just throwing gas on the fire and you weren't even for the impeachment in the first place. Now she's sitting there defending it with her life,
Starting point is 00:09:08 you saggy-titted witch. I'm kidding, Nancy. I'm sure you're a piece of ass in the early 40s, you. Oh, my God. The hypocrisy is... Mr. Trump and the Republicans have argued the president should be allowed to confront the whistleblower who wrote the complaint about the car. Yeah, well, how about that?
Starting point is 00:09:28 We make a deal. Bring the whistleblower forward. He's not a whistleblower because he heard the shit secondhand. This wouldn't fly in any courtroom in the fucking world. But bring him forward. Then Trump, I guarantee you, did that, Trump would take the stand. And then halfway through it, he'd snap and fucking choke the guy out. Body slam him like he did that wrestler.
Starting point is 00:09:48 And become the greatest president in history, in my opinion. It's time for some violence. I will make sure he does not intimidate the whistle blower. Oh my god. Fucking unbelievable. This is Soviet tactics. This really is. What you're
Starting point is 00:10:04 watching is the biggest shit. And people keep going, oh, the American Republicans keep saying this, and Devin Nunes, oh, the American people see right through it. No, they don't, actually. When you look at the polls, that's the problem. We have half of this country is so fucking ignorant and ill-informed, have no idea about the Constitution, because they went through the public school system and the college school system in this country for the last 40 years. Nobody has a clue about, they probably don't even know who Nixon is, half these people that are for this. Seriously. Oh, my aching stem.
Starting point is 00:10:38 Anyways, so we shall see. This is going to drip on into next spring and shit, and it's going to have an effect on the, you know, the prim primaries some of these people on the democrat side are going to have to fucking come off the uh campaign trail hopefully that's what i've been reading in all the books and stuff i'm telling you country's going to fucking hell in a handbasket. Did you just make that up, Nick? No, it's an old saying. Fucking only your old guy would say. Let's get on to some lighter. Let's get on with some lighter news, huh? What do you say? Ten, ten shot, four dead. As Gummine opens fire on a family watching football in East Central Fresno. Does anything good happen up in Fresno? Some mixture of fucking just, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:11:27 The suspect is still at large. At least 10 people, at least 10, have been shot and four are dead. After Fresno police say a suspect opened fire as a family gathered at an East Central Fresno home Sunday night. This guy takes his football serious. Offices responded to a home near Cesar Abadou. This is around 8 p.m. on Sunday. Who the fuck was playing? I was watching the game.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Who was it? Come on, guys. What do I have, a gay staff here? How about me? I watched the whole game and I can't remember. I can't fucking remember. Rich is going to pull it up now. Isn't that sad?
Starting point is 00:12:12 I just watched it less than 12 hours ago. Bears-Rams. Yes, Bears-Rams. Another one I lost in the pool. Fucking six right with one to go. Oh, my God. You know, it's a real barometer for how you know football.
Starting point is 00:12:27 There's 100 people, and Kylie is in first place, 11-year-old girl in a wheelchair. Listen to this. 45 people were at the home when the shooting took place watching football. What the...
Starting point is 00:12:39 Come on. They're pretending it's a family watching Sunday night football. That was like the Bloods, the Crips, and a couple other people. Going, yo, we stole a fucking shitload of flat screens from Best Buy. Come over to Ding Chow Fling's house. We'll watch it. Fucking crazy.
Starting point is 00:12:57 What's the world coming to? Suspect came into the backyard, opened fire on 10 people that were in the yard. The other 35 people inside the home were not injured. Hospital officials say of the shooting victims, two are in critical condition, three are in critical but stable. Another victim was grazed. When officers arrived,
Starting point is 00:13:16 they found three people already died from their injuries, and the fourth one died on the way to the hospital. Do you fucking believe this? We'll get blamed again. It's guns. It has nothing to do with mental illness. Police have also not yet released a description of the suspect or possible motivation. The victims are Asian males ages 25 to 30.
Starting point is 00:13:39 Sounds gang related. Don't you think? Or somebody stole some chicken and broccoli and things got ugly. General Tso's chicken was fucking ice cold and hell broke loose. I don't know. But mother of God. Oh, by the way, and I'm not shitting you,
Starting point is 00:13:56 what was the other mass shooting the other day? I can't even keep it straight. The high school C. Thomas Howell went to. Okay, that doesn't fucking help me. Where? Who was shot? California. Forced by memory. California. Okay, that doesn't fucking help me. Where? Who was shot? California. Forced by memory.
Starting point is 00:14:07 California. They first said it was an Asian suspect, and then they changed that. Oh, it was the young kid who killed himself, too. Yeah. But I wake up every... You can fucking ask my wife. I've actually said this to her. Time for a mass shooting, and I'll be right within, like, two days.
Starting point is 00:14:24 No, that's how predictable it's getting. And no, it's not guns. As far as schools go, we've already solved this problem. You put five guys, retired cops, retired military, outside all schools with guns. And they would do it. Pay them a nice chunk. And you also put extra exits in the classroom. So if somebody does come in. But it shouldn't even get that far, nobody's coming in
Starting point is 00:14:49 if you have a guy with a fucking rifle strapped across his chest in front of the student union that'll do it, it's called deterrence but I feel sorry for the, I didn't know that many Asian people watch football I mean, holy moly hell-o-ees what the fuck is going on? people watch football. I mean, holy moly, Heloise. What the fuck is going on?
Starting point is 00:15:10 Rich, what'd you do this weekend? I started my new job. And where, no, it's Arby's, right? You work the shake machine? It was a lot.
Starting point is 00:15:17 There's a lot of red tape to delivering pizza. Hey, that's a good one. Red tape, I'd like to put it around your mouth right now. No, what are you doing, really?
Starting point is 00:15:28 I don't even know. It's how much I like this guy. If I say it, it's going to hurt your head. Say it. I do tech support for routers. You're not Asian or Indian. That's impossible. I do an Indian accent.
Starting point is 00:15:39 I go, nice to meet you. Don't make it funny, fuckface. I'm asking a straight question. You do tech support for who? Routers, like with Cisco Systems. Cisco's a big company. I'm a pretty big deal. Again, no need for that comment either.
Starting point is 00:15:54 Jesus Christ. You're not going to become part of the show, all right? Let me tell you about Cisco Systems. My buddy, why am I getting quiet here? Let me tell you about Cisco Systems. My buddy, why am I getting quiet here? My buddy graduated first in our class, played football at Dartmouth. His first interview was with Microsoft, and he turned it down.
Starting point is 00:16:15 I see him a couple years later. He goes, if I took the job, I'd be worth $66 million. So he took a job with Cisco Systems, and he was making like $10 million a year. And then he created his own company and sold it back to Cisco. I have trouble doing this show. Fucking kids who are the zillions. These Ivy League guys really piss me off. You know who couldn't make it into the Ivy League?
Starting point is 00:16:37 Colin Kaepernick. He's an ignorant fucking minority. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. What a hateful. I was a fan of this guy. I remember him as a quarterback at Nevada or wherever he went to school. And I loved how he played. You know, he was a scrambler.
Starting point is 00:16:52 He could run and stuff. Didn't know he was brought up by, you know, domestic terrorists. I just made that up, but pretty sure. Just his fucking afro says, I hate Whitey. I hate Whitey. That's what he says when he goes into barbershop. Give me the I hate Whitey. And they just go, they blow dry it straight up. There you go. You look like one of the
Starting point is 00:17:09 underground weathermen from the 60s. You happy? You're a Black Panther who can't move, scramble to his left. Anyways, he's back in the news, this fucking cancer. Unbelievable. Cocaine drip. Kaepernick's NFL tryout chaos leads to a pissed off Jay-Z.
Starting point is 00:17:30 If you're pissing off a former crack dealer, you know fucking things aren't good. Uh, but did you see this publicity stunt? And that's what it was. Uh, you know, he arranged a tryout. He wanted NFL teams to come. And at the last minute, his team moved like an hour before they moved it, an hour away from where they were going to do the actual tryout. So only eight teams showed up.
Starting point is 00:17:52 So I'm sure that means they're racist. But here's the video that makes my blood pressure go up. Transparency and what went on. I appreciate y'all coming out. That means a lot to me. Our biggest thing with everything today was making sure we had transparency in what went on. Pause. Was he talking this black when he first came into the league?
Starting point is 00:18:10 What went on? Yo, come on out here. You know, hang on here. The dumb cracker, the cops are pigs. This guy wore socks, remember, with cops, pigs, with cop hats on. Keep that in mind. And there's still people behind them. Like fucking Phil Knight at Nike. You American-hating cheese dick.
Starting point is 00:18:29 Go ahead, play the rest. So we came out here. It's important that y'all are here. Five-step drop. There's a young black fellow running down the right path. And he hits him right on the money. Nobody covering. This proves he's ready to play.
Starting point is 00:18:44 I can make these throws. Yeah, you hate America. Let me give you a big hug. Yeah. Great footage. I want him to get in today. But there's no, there's nobody left. I want him to let him back in the fucking league and just watch the ratings plummet
Starting point is 00:19:07 and whoever takes him, that'll implode. They haven't recovered from the initial Kaepernick controversy with the knee-taking and the whatever. But it seems like I'm sure he enjoys white people's company. I'm black, y'all, and I'm black, y'all, and I'm blacker than black, and I'm black, y'all. Ah, yeah. Anyways, Kaepernick's chaotic workout Saturday left a trail of controversy. Sources told Page Six that a host of behind-the-scenes issues include a letter from Kaepernick that he wrote in the fourth grade, legal arguments over a workout waiver, and even a pissed-off Jay-Z.
Starting point is 00:19:46 The controversial Kaepernick was meant to work out for NFL teams in Atlanta on Saturday. I wish I knew that, but I was on the road. I would have went down there and fucking blindsided him. Snuck on the field. Goes back to pass. I come running out there with a helmet on, spear him right in his fucking dirty ribs. But minutes later, before the quarterback was to take the field at the Falcons training complex, his reps said they'd moved the session 60 miles away to a local high school.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Eight teams showed up, and Kaepernick appeared in a T-shirt that read, and this just says it all about this guy, Kunta Kinte. For you people in your 20s, that was a reference to a slave in a miniseries called Roots, which Alex Haley, by the way, actually stole a lot of it and came out. He's full of shit, too. I watched it as a kid. I fucking loved it. I got to be honest with you. It's very good. And I named my dog Kunta Kinte. And it's a really white, fluffy dog, really faggy. And I call him Kunta Kinte. And when I was a kid and my dad said you shouldn't do that I said shut the fuck up the stunned NFL then released a lengthy statement Saturday with a flurry of details including a claim that Nike
Starting point is 00:20:56 wanted to be at the workout to turn it into an ad of course they did that's what this is it's a publicity stunt he's Nike's puppet. They paid him a zillion dollars. The brand launched a Kaepernick commercial last year that garnered controversy. Well, thanks for clearing that up. Said the NFL on Saturday.
Starting point is 00:21:17 Last night when Nike, with Colin's approval, requested to shoot an ad featuring Colin and mentioning all the NFL teams present at the workout, we agreed to the request. But Nike then said it did not have cameras at the workout and just wanted the permission to use the names of the NFL teams that showed up. Oh, I wish all this went down. The stadium's already half empty. And I blame a lot of it on the initial controversy a year or two ago. It has a lot to do with it uh while nike wasn't filming it did have it did have a marketing move up its sleeve in the form of a
Starting point is 00:21:53 branded congratulations to be posted to kaepernick the marketing material consists of a letter that kaepernick himself penned back in fourth grade when he dreamed of having a job in the NFL. A note from Colin Kaepernick's fourth grade says the copy, followed by a child's handwriting. This would have been the ad in pencil that reads, I'm 5'2", 91 pounds, good athletically. I think in seven years I'll be between 6' to 6'4", 140 pounds, and I'll hate white people more than I do now. I just added that for emphasis.
Starting point is 00:22:27 I hope to go to a college and then go to the pros and play on the Niners or Packers, even if they aren't good in seven years. The letter by young Kaepernick is signed, Sincerely, Colin. It then has the Just Do It tagline in a list of all the teams that were to be at the NFL's workout. Oh, my aching stem. A source huffed of the concept. Saturday was his big day, and on Friday night before the workout, you're thinking about your fucking Nike ad?
Starting point is 00:22:56 The whole thing's just a commercial, this source said. You are correct, sir. It is now unclear if Nike will use the fourth grade letter in its materials. Either way, Kaepernick used the workout as an ad of sorts when the former star debuted a pair of, get this, Nike Air Force Ones, which he's created for the brand on the field. You know what he's about? Give me the money. Give me the fucking money. You hear me?
Starting point is 00:23:21 You hear me? I got to come here and bust my body. Give me the fucking money. That's him at a meeting after the Air Force Ones. How dare does he reference the military in a fucking sneaker? This anti-fucking-American punk. And I feel bad saying this because I really was a fan. I love the way he played quarterback.
Starting point is 00:23:41 Rich, what? What? I think Trump should come out with his own Air Force One shoes just to piss him off. Do you? Raz, why don't you go over here and punch him right in the side of the head as hard as you can. I'll call it a hate crime by his stupid fucking...
Starting point is 00:24:00 You just don't give up, do you? I really love you, but God, there's female comics that are funnier than you. You just don't give up, do you? I really love you, but God. There's female comics that are funnier than you. I can't name one right now. Yet another heated disagreement we hear was over a liability waiver that the NFL wanted Kaepernick to sign prior to the workout. Now we're getting into the legal eagle. And whether the waiver was standard, as the NFL said or unusual according to team kaepernick uh the league said saturday on wednesday we sent collins
Starting point is 00:24:31 representatives a standard liability waiver at noon today collins reps sent a completely rewritten and insufficient way the waiver was in case he got hurt they wouldn't be you know wouldn't have to pay him anything during the shooting of the commercial wouldn't that be hilarious he's doing he drops back to pass and fucking twist his ankle and a bone comes through the skin and he's finished wouldn't that be fucking precious uh it was a standard liability waiver to prevent a player from claiming entitlement to work as comp if there was an injury but another source disagreed saying the n NFL said their waiver was based on a standard liability agreement. That's like, and this guy said, that's a stupid quote. Other issues included whether Kaepernick would be allowed to film the workout, which the NFL wouldn't allow, but said it would instead give him his reps raw footage of the trial, which is fucking great.
Starting point is 00:25:20 This is all a stunt. It's all a stunt. Everything is political now. This is just a stunt. Everything, my God. You know what that is? I had some kitten at this South Korean restaurant. Nick, why do you got to say shit like that? It makes no sense. One person watching the situation was not pleased. You know who it was?
Starting point is 00:25:57 My favorite musical entertainer of all time. I have all his shit, Jay-Z. Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Jay-Z is not pleased. A source told us Sunday, Jay-Z feels disappointed with Collins' actions and believes he turned a legitimate workout
Starting point is 00:26:14 into a publicity stunt. Why would that bug you, Jay-Z? That's what you're about. You're the best at it. I don't understand. I'll tell you why. You know why it bothers Jay-Z? He has a partnership with the NFL
Starting point is 00:26:24 through his Roc Nation label. I got my mother why. You know why it bothers Jay-Z? He has a partnership with the NFL through his Rock Nation label. I got my mother some Christmas stuff from Rock Nation. See if that bitch puts it on. And reportedly pushed for the league to give Kaepernick the workout. When you piss off Jay-Z, you know,
Starting point is 00:26:39 when you're being too militant for Jay-Z, come on. What's the song, Raz? Look at me being racist going to Raz. New York State of Mind. Is it called New York State of Mind with Alicia Keys? Is that the name of it? Or Empire? Let's get the word out.
Starting point is 00:26:54 I'm going to defer to Raz on this one. Yeah, thank you. You should have the first place, Whitey. I don't really like Jay-Z, so I don't know. Oh, my. Raz doesn't like Jay-Z. Come take a look at how pink I am. Seriously. I know this. Rich, come over here. No, Raz, stay there't like Jay-Z. Come take a look at how pink I am. Seriously.
Starting point is 00:27:05 I know this. Rich, come over here. No, Raz, stay there. Rich, go ahead. I know this isn't on the final feed, but it bugs the shit out of me. Look at it. I look like one of the Kennedys when he's been drinking for fucking three days. Can somebody fix that?
Starting point is 00:27:22 Yeah, I'll take a look at it. Oh, yeah. I'll hold my breath. Why don't you take a look at your future? But that's all Capnick's about. Give me the fucking money. That's all he fucking wants. You hear me?
Starting point is 00:27:39 I got to come here and bust my body. Give me the fucking money. Ooh, watch your mouth. Hey, ladies and gentlemen, this episode of the Nick DiPaolo Show is brought to you by our best sponsor, I think, MyBookie.ag. MyBookie.ag, okay? We're way into football season now. It's already over halfway over. Does that scare you people?
Starting point is 00:28:01 You know what? There's no better time to bet. You know why? Because the teams, you can tell who sucks by now. It takes about nine games in the what but there's no better time to bet you know why because the teams you can tell who sucks by now it takes about nine games in the nfl because there's so much parody uh but there is no better time to bet because now you have an idea who's good who's not if you like winning money and who doesn't i'll tell you where to put your money down at my bookie dot ag if you're trying to bet on the NFL, baseball, MMA, the impeachment hearings, whatever, my bookie's got it.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Not to mention, I think Trump's a three-to-one favorite. Not to mention the NHL and the NBA seasons have kicked off already. My bookie has faster payouts, and this is why people love it, more lines than any other sportsbook, period. And that's infeasible evidence. They've got parlays, even teaser bets. If you're looking to bet a little and to win a lot, my bookie's got your back. They just revamped their website,
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Starting point is 00:29:36 And that's the most important thing. Rich, why do you look like you want to say something about my goddamn read? Go ahead. I just love my bookie, A-G. I know you do. You must be doing well, too, to have an $800 jacket, $1,000 shoes. I mean, because I know Arby's isn't paying you that. He'll do anything to get on air.
Starting point is 00:29:55 Oh, it's fucking sad. Do you understand your future was cemented years ago when you came down here? I know I have no future. No, you do. You're actually a pretty good tech guy, and you might fix her. Speaking of that, my toilet's clogged at the house. Can you get over there, you motherless fuck? My Sharona.
Starting point is 00:30:19 My fucking Sharona. What do we got here? Hey, I'm ripping through these stories. I better slow down. Who wants to chat and kill time? Raz, how's the wife and kids? Fucking ungrateful. He's been here two minutes.
Starting point is 00:30:36 You've been here for a year. He's already been funnier than you. Fucking ungrateful. How old are you, Raz? 32. Raz is a 32-year-old black gentleman. He has a wife and three kids. And what was your son's name?
Starting point is 00:30:51 Tyrone? Raz Jr. Oh, Raz Jr. Raz Jr. Wait a minute. Your real name's Tarasso. Taras. Taras? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:01 What's the origin of that name? I'm going something to do with the moton and a bass player uh i don't really know this is my aunt my aunt liked a guy named terrasso she more than liked them hey you know what that's a great segue for one of our stories we're going to get to later about all these social justice war all these white kids doing 23 and me and being upset because they found out they're 95% European. Boy, you think the left has done a number on this generation? Ashamed that they're European.
Starting point is 00:31:33 I, by the way, did it. I gave them a stool sample. I just wanted a cheek swab, but I said, no, I'm going to send you a six-pound fucking overnight package, and you can fucking panhandle through the gold to find the dna and they found two kernels of corn which means i'm more indian than liz warren um rich what are you dick what is his name. I'm Eastern European, little Italian, little English, Scottish, and pretty much an asshole. Let's do the breakdown. I'd say 96% asshole, 1% European.
Starting point is 00:32:21 You did the fucking ungrateful line. I'm just... Shut up. You're already giving me a headache. Please. Go back to Arby's and fix their internet. It's important to have Wi-Fi while you're eating a fucking 12-year-old burger.
Starting point is 00:32:35 Mama. Woo, woo, woo, woo. More leftists. I don't know how much proof I can give you people that the left are the most fascist, hateful fucks. The next couple stories will do that. But I can't help it. Between the impeachment hearings, Adam Schiff shutting down people, Twitter shadow banning me.
Starting point is 00:32:55 My follower number hasn't moved on Twitter in a month. Not a month. It's actually gone down a little. I'm putting out more content. We advertise this show on it. And so, you know, just to, again, I don't know how you can look at that and, you know, if you look at it
Starting point is 00:33:12 objectively and not say, you know what, enough of the left. That's where the world's headed, I guess. But you know what, I'm not going down without a fight. And here's some more proof. Video. Leftists taunt conservative students at a college campus. They just don't stop.
Starting point is 00:33:29 Fucking queers! No, these are straight people. Two conservative students were shut, it says, were shut by a crowd. What is that? Shut down by a crowd of leftist protesters while they attempted to recruit for the Turning Point USA chapter at Binghamton University in New York, which is, I was up by there, it was 11 degrees. The situation became so tense, the police arrived on the scene. Do you believe this shit?
Starting point is 00:33:56 Huh? But these stupid college Republicans, Turning Point, I appreciate what they're trying to do, but you don't show up without a baseball bat. You're going into enemy territory. You think you're going to set up a thing on campus and this day of social media, somebody gets wind of it. Next thing you know, there's 800 people surrounding your little table. You show up with a bunch of goons, some guys that look like my uncles, baseball bats, trench coats. Seriously, put a gun on the table. Get a conceal and carry, whatever.
Starting point is 00:34:28 Don't just show up and be shocked when they fucking start getting rough with you. But I can understand why, because a girl named Lacey Kestucher, president of Binghamton University Turning Point Chapter, was joined Wednesday by classmate John Lezak and Taylor Suszynski, Turning Point chapter was joined Wednesday by classmate John Lezak and Taylor Szyzynski, a TPUSA regional manager, to recruit for their conservative group. The students also sought to advertise an upcoming college Republican event featuring the prestigious economist Dr. Arthur Laffer. Artie Laffer.
Starting point is 00:34:59 This guy does my taxes. He's a real bonehead. this guy does my taxes. He's a real bonehead. However, the students were quickly met with resistance as liberal student protesters, we call them fascist fuckstains, formed around their table. Here's some video.
Starting point is 00:35:21 Wow, wow. Pause, pause, Pause. Pause. See the black girl? See her fucking just getting all hands on shit? Because she's on a college campus where supposedly she's unsafe. We always hear that quote. You see her fucking with her...
Starting point is 00:35:39 Because nobody's going to do anything. She'll be immune to anything. She could spit in that white girl's face. Nothing's going to fucking happen to her. This is what we've created in this country. Go ahead. Look at this shit. Pause, pause.
Starting point is 00:35:54 I would fucking... I would jump over the table and choke her and then that would be a hate crime. Huh? Anybody want to jump in fucking go ahead oh my god it's's an Asian chick losing. What is this, a fucking Benetton ad? Got the angry black girl.
Starting point is 00:36:33 See what it's turned into? And she's talking like she's black. What a fucking cultural clusterfuck this country has turned into. See, what do they all have in common? They're just angry, like myself, but I was born this way. This has nothing to do with race, ethnicity. Go ahead. Because I'm cold?
Starting point is 00:36:52 That shit is fucking crazy. Look at your pussy. Oh, she's not Asian. I'm going to say that the fact that y'all are comfortable to even do this means that we're not doing enough. And every single time they try this shit, we're not doing it. Pack every single child that's tried to do this shit is peacefully. Back it up!
Starting point is 00:37:06 Back it up! Back it up! Back it up! Back it up! Back it up! Pause. You hear that? This is where I tell you
Starting point is 00:37:14 to suck my dick. And this fucking white guy with his silly hat, why don't you throw a fucking punch? Grow some balls. Look at the fucking hate. What is this thing?
Starting point is 00:37:26 This guy in the middle with his Jew fro. Look at him. He looks like Meadow Soprano's boyfriend. And then that six-foot trans to his... Fucking just throw up, pick up the table. You know why? They're outnumbered. Show up with the Proud Boys
Starting point is 00:37:45 if you're going to do this shit. Go ahead. Okay. Look at that. Suck my dick. Nice. Pause. Pause. Here's the left.
Starting point is 00:37:59 Here's all your informed voters and shit. These are your so-called informed voters and smart. This are your so-called informed voters and smart. This is the product of the academia the last 40 years, which, like somebody said last week, is literally an existential threat to the future of this fucking country. Did you hear what they said? Because they're doing this, that means we ain't doing our job.
Starting point is 00:38:22 They literally have no concept of free speech. Don't give a fuck. You're watching fascism in person. And go ahead. Pack it up! Pack it up! Pack it up! Pack it up! Pack it up! Pack it up! Crack it up! Crack it up! Crack it up! Crack it up! Crack it up! Crack it up! Crack it up! Crack it up! Crack it up! Crack it up! Crack it up!
Starting point is 00:38:53 All right, enough. This kid's brilliant, huh? English major, apparently. There you go. There you go. There's the fucking left, those of you that vote Democrat. It's one side's fault. It's fucking yours. You make me sick. And you people that run the colleges, you spineless white guys.
Starting point is 00:39:11 It's always a dean. He'll come out and apologize on behalf of the angry crowd. We didn't know turning point was going to be here. And the college campus is where, you know, ideas are supposed to flourish. Everybody gets a say. You listen to each other. I heard, who did I see? Was it Seth Meyers?
Starting point is 00:39:29 Somebody like that said, no, who the fuck was it? It was a comedian. Oh, John Mulaney said, this is nothing. Talking about the country being divided. This is small cookies compared to Vietnam days or whatever he said. No, you can be more fucking wrong. But again, you college Republicans, you got to get some muscle.
Starting point is 00:39:48 Let's kick this thing off. Show up with some goons. Everybody in the W, almost everybody in the WWE, they're right-wingers. Get some big wrestlers. Oh, can you imagine? Raz, what would you do if you're at that table and people started grabbing shit out?
Starting point is 00:40:07 Would you sit there kindly? I guess they know. I guess we do live in a different world. If you do strike out, you know, then you get a lawsuit on your hands. And we know how the lawyers in this country vote. It's time to pack up their muskets. Didn't have that when I went to school in the early 1840s. Big controversies.
Starting point is 00:40:33 When I went to Maine, you couldn't get through the goddamn, my dorm room on a Tuesday night, you couldn't get through the hallway. There were kegs in every men's room and woman's room and 40 people in the hallway smoking weed. It was a good time. It was a glorious time. But what do they all have in common, those protesters? They had the angry streak that they literally feel like you don't, that these people don't have a right to fucking recruit. Anyway, but I'm sure it'll be taken care of
Starting point is 00:41:07 by the dean. You need to shut the fuck up. I don't. What we're going to do to these people on these campuses? This year we're going to grab the bull by the balls and kick those punks off campus. After police arrived, the students could be heard chanting, no justice, no peace, no racist police.
Starting point is 00:41:31 So they're against the people. You know what? And the parents of these kids, you were the worst. You raised fucking entitled monsters. And it's not just white kids. and it's not just white kids. When a bystander asked what the police were doing to be considered racist, he was told to shut the fuck up as another student screamed,
Starting point is 00:41:53 you're white, as an explanation. Some angry black chick. You know. Probably Kaepernick's nephew. I don't know. The police said to me yesterday when I was leaving, if you're going to walk around, don't go. This is what they told the conservative kids. If you're going to walk around, don't go through the middle of campus and have somebody with you at all times.
Starting point is 00:42:20 Sounds like America, doesn't it? And this girl, Kess Chester, said, I don't feel safe at all, she said. If I'm going to walk, I have to have a guy with me. Oh, my God. Feminists aren't going to like that remark. If I need to go out, I need to text somebody to be with me at all times. Even walking certain floors on the building, I'm being careful because some of the people who are just insane and unhinged live on the lower levels, and I don't know what to expect from them. I do not feel safe at all in this. That's what's ironic about it. Like the conservatives, they're the ones who aren't safe, and that's always the cry from the left,
Starting point is 00:42:55 and people of color don't feel safe on college campus, which it's the safest place in the world, you know. And the fucking conservatives really aren't safe on it kess jester and her fellow bing binghamton conservatives have received some support in the form of a letter obtained by campus reform written to the school's president by new york assemblyman douglas smith he's a ranking member of the state assembly's Committee on Higher Education. Well, you're failing. Smith's letter urges the Binghamton to take action to ensure that students are able to exercise their First Amendment rights on campus without fear or physical violence in the future. But to no avail, I would say. I don't know. You got to, again, safety in numbers and weapons. Stephen Crowder is great.
Starting point is 00:43:49 He's like a genius. He'll set up a thing. But I'm sure he's got a few people watching. And he'll sit down and debate people. But it's getting past that point. It really is. We're going to bring this show, by the way, to Berkeley next week. I'm going to sit down at a table in blackface and discuss race relations with Asian kids. I heard you guys like Sunday Night Football. I hate them all. If I could, I'd grab this microphone and I'd beat your brains out with it because that's what you deserve. That's what you deserve.
Starting point is 00:44:28 Let's stay on the race and self-hating white college kids who have had this shit drummed into their head and they swallow it up. You know, 23andMe. Apparently, a lot of these millennials are doing the 23andMe thing. And there's a whole rash of videos of white kids. What are their social justice warriors? They consider themselves woke, and they're finding out that their roots are predominantly European, and it bums them the fuck out. What kind of brainwashing?
Starting point is 00:45:02 And it bums them the fuck out. What kind of brainwashing? There's this, we're going to show a clip of this white girl who, she's really good looking. Why? Because she's 95% European. Nick, that's a horrible thing to say. No. I've actually seen, you know, biracial kids are fucking beautiful.
Starting point is 00:45:21 I have one. Somebody told me in a letter letter pen to my house what but what watch this chick's reaction if you can stand her empty-headedness uh but she you know she looks like what everything uh the left would hate uh this is what she has to say about finding out. It's all highlighted in Europe. 95% European. European. Why are you talking like you're 10? I don't know if anyone else gets upset about that,
Starting point is 00:45:59 but I don't enjoy it. Oh, my God. What a phony. but I don't enjoy it. Oh, my God. What a phony. I forgot to tell you guys. I've always wanted to be part Asian, and I am 5%.
Starting point is 00:46:19 Pause. You're 5% normal, 95% mentally ill, but that is a fantasy right there. A good-looking girl who's fucking crazy is a shithouse rat. Upset that she's good. West Asia. West Asian. Asia.
Starting point is 00:46:36 And I'm literally tearing up right now. That makes me so... She's literally tearing up right now. I don't see any tears in her eyes. I'll put tears in your eyes. I'll tan your bottom with my belt. After six McUltras. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:46:52 I'm so excited. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Okay. So, I'm 30. And the breakdown, there's just two breakdowns, which is weird. Because, like, when I saw other people taking these tests, like, they had a lot more breakdowns. But 37% Scandinavian.
Starting point is 00:47:07 Yes, explain your looks. 27% Irish. That's so weird. I never thought I was Irish until a week ago when it just got popped up in conversation. Like, oh, I think you could be. After she threw up eight shots of fucking Ketel One. That's a pretty large amount.
Starting point is 00:47:21 That's a fourth Irish. 16% European, like West European, which is France, Germany, Switzerland... She had to look that up on Google. ...and a few other places. That's like a very low percentage. A low percentage. And then... I talk like I'm 11.
Starting point is 00:47:36 Oh. Oh. 11% Italian slash Greece. Pause. That's racist. Italian, Greece. That was my nickname in high school. That's what I put in my hair.
Starting point is 00:47:51 You mean Italian and Greek? Italian grease. She literally thinks it's the olive oil you'll find after you make sausage and pepper. Oh, I have Italian grease in me. Go ahead. Would you like some? Yeah. Well you like some? Yeah. Well, what else?
Starting point is 00:48:09 Yeah, here you go. Yes, genetic stuff. So excited. Love science. Go science. Let's do ancestry first. No, that's not cool. That is not cool.
Starting point is 00:48:21 They took away my Asian heritage altogether on this one. That's not cool. That is not cool. They took away my Asian heritage altogether on this one. 99.9% European is what it's saying now. Like, tell me that is not the rudest thing you've ever heard. No, it isn't. And 0.1%. Your voice is the weirdest thing I've ever heard.
Starting point is 00:48:36 The 0.1%. Wow. Wow. Middle Eastern and North Africa. North Africa! Oh, I got some black cock in me. That's a really small percentage. Not very happy about it.
Starting point is 00:48:46 Glad it's on the paper, though. Also, side note, I realize that most likely any type of African heritage could have been from slavery and in which that case
Starting point is 00:48:59 most likely wasn't from love. Could have been. Not cool. I am not happy with any answer. How do you know that? Maybe one of your relatives was raped by an African. Like mine were. The Moors.
Starting point is 00:49:15 Google that, Blondie. What did she say? Not love? A lot of slave masses fell in love with their slaves. Watch Roots. Kunta Kinte. Oh, my God. The bottom line is, do you hear how ashamed she is to be European?
Starting point is 00:49:33 How do you get to that? By indoctrination. Since she was in pre-K right up until college, just pounding it. And it worked. The left has won this. They have won this one oh my god i have african in me oh gross that would be the real response to the racist broads you know that's enough i got i got another story about uh disney outdated culture depictions
Starting point is 00:50:00 they're putting warnings now they have a new website with all disney films and shit you know it has all the old vintage stuff on it. And a lot of that stuff, you know, you look at it now, it looks really racist. So they wanted, they're giving, they're wiping that shit out of the movies. I mean, how are you going to prove, I'm going to say this again to you libs, how are you going to
Starting point is 00:50:18 prove to your kids how racist this country is and was if you wipe out all the history of it? Disney, Disney,ney yeah they were depicting the times now they're now they're the most politically correct they they they export more pc bullshit you don't believe me watch one of your nieces and nephews cartoons uh it's fucking sad but i can't even get into that anyways um it's really sad. Between the college campus Republicans getting shut down and threatened with violence and suck my dick, and this white girl apologizing for being European. Come on.
Starting point is 00:50:52 Where do we stand, folks? That is it, ladies and gentlemen, for today. Don't forget to go to Cameo.com. If you want me to send a personal video message to one of your friends roasting them, or I could say happy birthday and be nice. I had about four of them this weekend. I love doing them. I'll do it right on my phone, send it to you,
Starting point is 00:51:15 and tell you why you should be ashamed that you're a cracker. Don't forget to go to NickDip.com. This show airs at 9 p.m. What's that? What's that? You want me to leave it on camera, too? Raz, what are you talking about? Leave what on camera, too?
Starting point is 00:51:32 Never mind. What are you talking about? Go ahead. No, talk to me. At the end of the show, do you want me to do the new thing? Oh, yeah, sure. Sure, I shouldn't have to ask that. You shouldn't have to.
Starting point is 00:51:43 I'm glad you reminded me, actually. That is it, ladies and gentlemen. Go to nickdip.com for all my tour dates. This weekend I will be in Brunswick, Georgia, right? What's the name of the theater, Rich? You're coming with me. Historic Ritz Theater. Historic Ritz Theater.
Starting point is 00:51:58 That's where I will be Friday night. And, again, all these shows this past weekend were sold out, so something good's happening. Thanks to you guys you're great supporters we'll talk to you on patreon.com tomorrow
Starting point is 00:52:11 alright take care of yourselves everybody bye We'll be right back. guitar solo I'm out..

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