The Nick DiPaolo Show - Penn State Nittany Liars | The Nick DiPaolo Show #1938

Episode Date: August 18, 2026

In today's episode Nick talks about Trump Hosts Hero, Dumb CNN Question, More WNBA Nonsense, A Megalodon Tooth, Blacks Being Black and An Octopus! WATCH THE FULL SHOW LIVE & FREE at 6pm ET only on Rumble! https://rumble.com/thenickdipaoloshow/ TOUR DATES, SOCIALS, PERSONAL VIDEOS, STREAM ALL MY COMEDY SPECIALS! https://www.nickdip.com/ MERCH - GRAB A MUG, TSHIRT, HOODIE, STICKERS AND MORE! https://shop.nickdip.com/

I want all of you to enjoy your cake. So, enjoy. The Sands Hotel, I'll go to the Panini brothers. Ah, you goddamn guineas really make me laugh. I can't find that. I don't know why some transferred and some didn't. It's a whole bunch of didn't. I don't know.

The answer, I'll have to find a young... Like you said, she ain't ready for prime time. No, this one's on me. I got a feeling there's a way around it, you know? I think, you know. I, yeah, this is definitely a reason. some good ones. There's no delicious on here. I'm talking over there folks because that's what my producer sits. My wife gets excited about that. She's gonna be

looking out of her lazy eye she keeps it up. All right. I'm kidding. You know I treat her like gold right. Okay. Welcome to the live lineup folks where you get free shows all day. If you want to watch ad free just join Rumble Premium. Don't forget to follow my channel. Download the Rumble up. Scott about a question, but a bit about that question. Today I'll be talking about all kinds of whoreshit. Trump hosts, excuse me,

Trump hosts that, that lifeguard kid, finally getting the ink he deserves. We get abroad from CNN asking a really inappropriate question. I don't like the way Trump answered it, though. He almost, he never got back to it like he was avoiding it. Didn't look good.

More WNBA nonsense. You leave my girl Sophie alone. Don't make me. Talk about somebody living their best life. live. It's a clip of her this weekend on a bar and standing on a bar in Oklahoma singing some fucking, I love it. Also, some kid found a big tooth on a New Jersey, you know, Jersey Shore Beach. And it wasn't an Italian guy that was knocked out. It was a actual tooth from a big fish. And we got some footage of black people being black, which is always a lot of fun.

you know what I'm saying. I got nothing. I can be honest with you. Yesterday was a friggin Monday, right? How were we here again? That last weekend just, it's like the less you do, the fashion goes by. It's ridiculous.

Red Sox last night, I think they won 12 to 1. Diamondbacks came to town, thinking they were big shit. We spanked them. Wacked them good. They're playing like this. both stand Fenway now. They're putting up softball numbers. They're fucking so weird. And yeah, that's all I got there.

Football right around the corner, both college. And few people haven't tried college. I swear to God, if you do, you'll, it's, you know, it's like banging a black guy. If you do, you'll never go back to his house because he's gross. And they'll what they mean? So, yeah, college football, NFL. There's a, Remember I just said this too. It seemed like a week ago ago. Before you know it, there'll be an exhibition game commercials.

Sure enough, this Saturday, the Titans. It's like, what the fuck? I know you must be sick to me hearing it, but you're going to freak out when you get to my fucking egg. You're going to freak the fuck out. Well, each year, and a lot of you are close to my age, because I see you when you come out. But there's a lot of you who are, you know, even if you're 30,

it picks up speed each year. It's so fucking weird. But I hear other people saying that are younger than me, and I go, well, maybe the frigging globe is spinning faster than it should. Somebody, someone had a theory like that, too. Anyways, and, oh, the other thing, I don't think I mention the Penn State scandal, the fraternity selling coke. Oh, my God.

Now, if I'm the kids in trouble for that, and there's like 13 or 14 of them, even one of the kids' fathers involved. But if I'm, you know, I'm like, I'm a. business major. The fuck. I call this interning. Using pledges as cheap labor. Just imitate what goes on in the real world. Know what I'm saying?

All right. It's all I got. Let's get to it. Trump hosts true hero. President Trump on Monday met with Ryder Williams. Gee, doesn't look like a lifeguard, does he? Are you fucking kidding?

me, I won't be surprised if Baywatch comes after this kid. You know what I mean? At least as a consultant. Anyways, he's a guy rescued a 10-year-old from violent waves in Santa Cruz, California last month, and he garnered national attention. Okay, I have an appointment about my kid, and he's enough already. He's fucking... Anyways, he rescued a kid named Nathaniel Ory, R-A-A-A-A-A. probably an Indian kid, so there goes that theory about white supremacy and white races.

I would have went, ah, there's plenty of tech people out there. You're too young to help me with my fucking hard drive. Have a nice swim. Anyways, he joined Trump in the Oval Office where the president recognized the lifeguards heroic actions. Trump called it an honor. It's an honor. Sure I'd rather have Sophie Cunningham, but this kid will do. It's an honor to host Mr. Williams. Here's the little thing.

And it's an honor to be with writer Williams, who is a 16-year-old lifeguard in California, the Santa Cruz area. And I understand he was a winner. It's like he's reading for the first time. They first saw him as a lifeguard. There's a lot of training, a lot of work. And he saved this young gentleman, who I had a long talk with, I said, would you have made it without him? And you said, not really, right? Not really.

It was trouble. It's almost like he's rubbing it in the kid's face. You would have died, right? Because you're a little pussy. If you guys don't remember... I'll show you later on. Anyway, video of the rescued show Williams battling, harrowing way... And it wasn't one of those...

Hey, there's a kid drowning in the low end of a pool at a golf club. A country club. This was like friggin serious. I mean... We'll show you. the footage, but waves refusing to let go of ride, despite violent rip currents and the smell of curry, repeatedly undermining their progress towards shore. However, Williams, that's writer, handsome Ryden Williams, I wonder how about the broads in his class? First of all, he's a good-looking

kid. He's a lifeguard, and he's a hero. He's like, line up for blow jobs in front of my locker tomorrow. Williams ultimately succeeded in his effort to save the fella and unbelievable and I'm glad Trump got him in there to give him the ink he deserves. Here he is just to a refresh a memory again this is a bit and it went on for about five minutes that other people jumped in because they went hey I want some ink too but this kid took the waves and check this up I love this 18-year-old lifeguard battling powerful 8 to 10-foot surf waves and rip currents to rescue attention.

Look it. That happened about three times. So he's under there holding the kid. Holy moly. That must feel great, huh? I don't know if it's as good as hitting three home runs in your first three at bats, but I'd say to die. One of them you save somebody's life, so that gets the thumbs up.

But I'm just saying I'd like to hit free homers my first three. This is why Dallas has a dark cloud that follows them to work. Look, I'm no fucking ray of sunshine. I was voter class pessimist. This fucking guy, I'm like a cheerleader for USC standing next to this guy. We shot a, you know what, a bitch-in kitchen, which we'll be showing next week, I think. And I tell Dallas about the guy's first three at bats and the pros. He hits three homarts in Dallas.

Yeah, it'd be funny, though, in about a month, he gets sent back down to the minors because he's stinking it. Oh, my God. That's something I'd fucking say. I think that's why they voted me that in high school. I argued. I said, I'm not a fucking pessimist. I'm a realist. All that shit you consider negative usually comes true, and it's not good.

You know, because life's just a fucking hemorrhoid on a coal sore and a flat tire. What? I don't know. at this point I don't know folks. Anyways, I had something else I wanted to mention. I don't, you're going to like the bitch and kitchen. We actually had a closing bit, starting to get like a sitcom. I already get calls from Fox.

Me and Dallas had taken a meeting with, you know what, Al Jazeera. That channel, they're very interested. They say we can't have any Jew or producers. I can't do it. Can't do it. All right, let's move on. Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich.

Oh, yeah. In our Make Me a sandwich tonight, the president's online rapid response team absolutely lamb-based a CNN reporter who insinuated that the president, Trump was having a romantic relationship with a younger staffer.

senior White House correspondent for CNN, by the way, Kristen Holmes, where do they find these whores? It's one thing if you've been there for 20 years and you've always been a liar, but you people, girls this age, I get it, you want to get a job and CNN's a fucking household name, but there are also a household name for reason. Nobody believes a word they say, nobody watches them.

And this is a fairly new face to me. I don't know, maybe she's been there a few years, but it doesn't look at. Anyways, you know, they go, hey, listen, we want, yes, I understand you, fucks. Again with the kidneys. What the fuck is wrong with people? Motherfucker!

Let it roll. Oh yeah, I'm not gonna fucking, what do these bitches want? This the fucking speaker you. Hey, listen, hordes? You left this twice yesterday. It doesn't say to respond in anyway. See, so I'm going to walk in in an angry mood, as usual.

It just tells me you don't know what the fuck you're doing. The left hand doesn't, and this is how I talk to message machines, and why Andy doesn't let me do anything adult-like. Anyways. Aye, aye, yoy. As Dallas said, does anything fucking... If that rings again, and I know you're going, shut off your thing. No, I need the...

It's fun for the show. I know you guys like it when I lose my tits. Anyways, what about this whore? She asked the president a suggestion. And you know who made the suggestion? Senator John Arsoff, Democrat Georgia. He looks like he friggin, he makes Pete Buttigieg look like Hulk Hogan. Look at this pencil neck geek.

I told Dallas like a year ago, maybe more than that, he was shooting an ad in the park. and I was walking by I was like on a Wednesday afternoon and I stood there aside and I went Trump Trump and I got to give him credit they laughed the guy holding the camera

and the other broad doing nothing fucking laughed and then said let's do it again I should have ruined the whole friggin thing anyways yeah so she asked a question about Trump you know this guy said it I wonder the way he got that insinuation

and boys he's going to he's going to feel the wrath of Trump he has no idea what he just he kicked the hornets nest but here's her doing the dirty work for him and CNN. John Osse said if you'd rather travel with your aid Natalie Hart and build the ballroom than do your job as president. What is your response? John Osseff. You mean peewee Herman?

Oh, God. Imagine Trump did a Pewy Herman impression. Put your finger down, number one. I'm the president. Don't point at me, you whore. So I'm just going to say this. John Ossef said, you're banging your fucking staffer. You know what?

If he wasn't, I'd be disappointed. Nobody said to Biden, I heard you try to fuck your granddaughter in the shower. Did that ever come up? You didn't have anybody from Fox to it. Maybe they did. I missed it. They're horrible people.

Not even on a professional level. Just on a fucking human level. Scumbags. That goes for anybody who votes that way at this point. Well, Nick, you're losing half of your audience by saying, yeah, I was told that 25 years ago. Does it look like I give a fuck? There's a reason I'm doing a podcast.

Cocaine. These scumbags are the lowest of the low. That wasn't me saying it. This was said by the Trump team. This is the Trump's media team. What do I have AIDS now? The Trump team responded more fully on social media to Holmes. This is what they said on social media.

Kristen Holmes is a disgraceful, humiliating embarrassment to her. her alleged profession at POTUS hosts a hero lifeguard in the Oval Office, and she uses it as an opportunity to take a cheap shot about one of President Trump's staffers. So she knew, CNN knew, this is going to get a lot of eyes on it. Trump's interviewing that young hero kid. This would be a good time to bring this up. This is the, that's the level that politics on both sides play out.

It's pretty gross. someday your children will come across your disgusting and inhumane question. Take it easy. This is me saying it. They will be sickened and embarrassed to have a parent to be so callous and vindictive. It's quite troubling. It's true. You've got a couple of young boys there.

Elena Treen went to school with her brother. Lee. Lee Treen. A fellow White House correspondent of CNN defended her colleague. Well, that's a surprise. A twat defended another twat? Really? What a horrible thing to say.

Kristen is an incredible reporter, person, and above all, mother. Why are you bringing that into it? Oh, God, you guys are just stuck. Again, another girl looks like she's a sophomore in college. Calling the shots at CNN. You are a fucking high school outfit, whether she's the fucking host or, you know, Dracula. What's his name? the old fucking German.

The fuck's the guy of the gray beard, Wolf Blitzer. I don't understand such reaction to a journalist asking the president for his response to something

a Democratic senator has leveled against him, she wrote. Let me explain it to you fucking ignorant ho. Number one, that's not what the press conference is about,

okay? Number two, the guy didn't, does the senator, are you saying a Democrat senator uses you guys to get his

message out. Aren't you supposed to be monitoring both sides, even though that we know that's a joke. You're supposed to keep politicians honest. So it just shows how much you're in bed with the Democrats, number one. Number two, you're doing it front of two kids. A president, they get to meet the president and you're going, aren't you fucking you're, then life guy goes, I want to be president. Anyway, Harp is the president's personal assistant, and I'm just saying, could you blame if that was true? I wouldn't let her leave my side. She looks like a pissed off Christy Brink.

I don't know. Look at the guy behind her looking at her ass. Oh, both of them are. I'm sorry. You have to admit, Trump is like you heftor of the White House. surprised he doesn't walk around in a silk robe of the pipe. That's a good point. We don't know what he does.

Get Jared Kushner in here. How'd it go with the Jews? Listen, I've got to go to Honohuters. They're closing the one in DC. I'm supposed to say something about it. He is surrounded by. How about is, is she still the lawyer? I don't think she is.

That Habib, whatever her name was? Yeah. Dallas has that name down, Pat. I could ask him who the Braves pitch was tonight. You would have no idea. Lena Haber, yes. Got a poster in his room. Yes.

I mean, her and so that's what they ask him in front of the kids. That's just not right. I did not have sexual relations with that woman. Wrong president, but good answer. Good answer. Can I ask you, speaking a good answer, when did family feud turn into a fucking battle of the racism? I actually like it.

It's kind of fun, man, to watch how stupid you know who is. Hey, November 5th, I'll be at the punchline in Atlanta, Georgia. And the next night, the 6th, I'll be at the River Casino in Philly.

And then November 7th, I'll be at Seoul, Joll's Potsdown, Pennsylvania. It'll be very interesting, as you know, because it'll be like a full year that I stepped on stage. And boy, that's going by, like you said,

fucking went into September with full team. And in September, I get a real fucking, I get my post put in and hopefully a tooth over it, and I can eat again, you know, apples and brownies and ass. What? Go to nickdip.com to get your tickets now before they're sold out.

While you're there, go to the merchandise page at nickdib.com. We've got hats and hoodies, t-shirts, mugs, bras with very thick underwires. The plastic hips are the bestseller. I don't know why. and you know it's it's nice stuff and he's got a bit of a coke problem i can use the money and the dog needs a kidney i kicked it listen also you want to send a personalized video to someone don't no i'll say what you're thinking so they don't have to go to shoutout dot us and book it and it's like cameo dot com only uh you know only the same i guess uh let's move on to flagrant first

amendment foul the wmba stand on a pair of fans being asked to cover their shirts. We did that story yesterday, didn't we? What do we do yesterday? A couple weeks ago, we did a story on two young girls that were pretty much gone after. This is totally different. This is a mother-daughter. No, I know, but we didn't do this yesterday?

No. Oh, no, you know what? I pulled the story yesterday. Excuse me. The WMBA stance on a pair of fans. It was a mother-daughter being asked to call. covered their shirts at Sunday's dream fever game. Do these two teams play each other a thousand times?

And anybody else in the league? Anyways, their stance is clear. And this is what the head of the WMBA said. This should not have happened. A league spokesperson said of the incident on Monday. Now, this is what the left does. They come out and say the right thing and then shut the door and laugh their balls off going. That'll hold them.

A mother and daughter. Oh, no. Wait a minute. Is that the mother and daughter? got it. From here it looks like you know who. It looks like Sophie and a kid or a kid or something. Anyways, a mother and daughter were reportedly told by security at Atlanta's Gateway Center Arena that their XXXY athletic shirts were offensive. And this is a second incident about these t-shirts. We're forced to either put on a dream t-shirt or leave the game.

Here are the two people who they were saying, put on these t-shirts because you're being wrong. Here's the mother and daughter talking about what happened to him. We were made to cover up our XX, X, X, Y shirts at this gang. Wait, are you serious? Yes. They gave a shirt. They gave us T-shirts during overtime and told us we had to leave. And this is for the girl.

or cover our shirts. The fucking daughter almost looks like she related to Sophie. I love girls her age. They have to get on that camera. They have to. Do you believe this shit, though? Do you believe it? The pair claimed they were told on,

in other words, tattletailed on, by another fan who was made to cover up a protect trans-right shirt. So some woman, I guarantee she made it up. This is the level they work at. And even if she didn't, mind your fucking business, she went up and said, they made me cover.

And if she's wearing a trance shirt, she's a lefty douchebag. Probably has a dick. No offense. I mean that in a good way, as Dom used to say. So that's the level they were. I guarantee that woman made that up.

And if she did, I don't care if she did her, she didn't. You know what I mean? She had to, she saw that, and she had to, you know. And what I don't understand is the league coming out and going, they're almost, the league sounds like it's apologizing on behalf of the league. Well, it wasn't the lead that did it. It was just one woman.

So you sound, something's fishy there. And it's not your pants. What? That's horrible. I don't know. The NBA, the head of it, we know what they're all about. She likes a rig game. The fever have become a lightning rod in recent weeks after.

the guard. Sophie Cunningham told ESPN that she wants, in quote, to protect young girls in a locker room or young girls in sport who shouldn't have to go against biological men, which is such an outrageous statement to make. You know what, guys, I cannot wait. Oh, my God. When's this going to happen? We have to wait until the draft next year for these two pro guys, for NBA guys to get in the league. Are you, you want to see their ratings

go through the that's probably why they're not pushing back on it. I swear to God, they'll go.

Even if the guy, the team were the two guys on it, or maybe they're on different teams, the two guys. But let's say

they, they win by only 40. The WMBA is like, it wasn't that bad of a blowout. Look at the numbers we did.

You understand the whole world will be watching? It's actually good exposure for them. Anything. thing. I just don't believe the woman that said, yeah, I had to cover this up.

I tell you, you lie, god sucker. Sounds like my wedding. What? That has led to rallies in support of and against Cunningham with X, X, X, Y athletics, an apparel maker with a stated mission to empower female athletes and take a stand for fair competition. Backing Sophie. league officials met last week as part of an anti-hate task.

You guys, you took the word hate and you took the sting right out of it. If I told you, no, that's a salad fork. You got to use that one. You go, you're a hater. You understand? Hate was such a good word and it's not wrong to hate anything. It's the beauty of this country. Anti-hate.

Because somebody differs with you. politically. See, that's not hate. That's a disagreement. You've been pulling that victim shit for a thousand years. And I don't blame you. Because the right has been asleep. One thing we found out since Trump became president, the fucking right has been asleep at the switch since 19-fucking 72. Really? Really been outsmarted unless they're part of it. Maybe I'm the dummy, you know? I don't know what to believe anymore, which concluded there will be no immediate eligibility matters affecting the WNBA talking about the draft and that we strongly denounce the bad faith efforts to use these topics.

Here we go to demean or marginalize others. You guys made your own bed laying it now. You started all this. I loved, the best thing that's come out of this so far was it was the, Caitlin Clark's coach that said, I think it was Caitlin Clark. She goes, as far as men playing, they were asking about that. And she goes, first of all, any exclusivity is wrong, in my opinion. That's what she opened with.

And that just opened the floodgates. That's when these guys, whoever watched one, was like, oh, really? You know what? I can still, I still have a fucking 48-inch vertical leap. And I'm 6'6, about 2.45. I can play. LeBron, if he had any balls, he would have called the next day. You know what?

A lot of the ex-MBAers, I bet you're going to come out of the woodworks. Can you imagine? Oh, my God. And I don't, hey, let me tell you something, folks. I'll say it again. Have a trans league.

I mean, apparently there's a trans on jeopardy every other week, so there's a millionaires. Have a trans league. I mean, you guys can't have it both ways going, you know, the Republicans, it's all they talk about trans, trans, they only make a 0.01% of population.

They say that. when people are arguing against them, then they say, hey, we're people too. You know, we can, okay, have your own league. Who's not going to go there and throw dildos at them? Remember that? That was fun. Side note, Buffalo Bills just built a, you know, multi-billion dollar stadium. And fucking every day there's people who went to like a preseason game already saying it sucks. And they showed this actually obstructed views.

How was that possible in 2026? an obstructed view. You understand of baseball games and probably football. I know baseball games, even at Fenway, built in, you know, 1400 AD, they have, they have, if you sit in the front row down by the field, you've got monitors right in front of you,

like TV monitors. These guys can't build a stadium without a poll. Oh, my God. And I think the Buffalo Bills fans, the mafia, as they call them, Bill's Mafia, They should, Buffalo Mafia, they should, they deserve better. You can argue they're as good as any fans in any city. And that's all they have.

I got to go back there's one place that I love doing comedy. Those fuckers, nothing was too mean. You know, you put up with the bills when you're a kid. You got fucking heroin marks. I'm not going to offend you with anything. Let's lighten it up with a little something, one of our old favorite funny guys. The food editor of the Dallas Morning News, what's the best reason for pounding meat? How longliness.

You know, a lot of those are written, we know. A lot aren't, though. But a lot of those, he even said, but it's his delivery. It's that fucking delivery. And you know the one we used to play Dallas, the one that said, you know, when a man falls overboard, when a guy falls off of him, he says man overboard. I got the actual YouTube version of that. I got a folder lined them up for you.

Paul Lynn makes the day much brighter. Oh. You know what he does great? This is how you know he can act. He fucking thinks about it. He knows what he's in. Oh, well, only. You guys of my age, you remember him.

People were tuning to that show to watch him. Anyways, we throw that in there to lighten things up. Let's go back to the real world. Penn Staters headed to the state Penn. I thought that was cute on my part. Unbelievable. More than a dozen Penn State Frat Brothers were busted for running a complex cocaine trafficking ring.

Out of two separate fraternities that forced, so fraternities have moved up from just kegs of beer and now that forced young pledges to cut. This is great. And bagged the drugs, then sold to students, according to prosecutor. They were used, you know, when you pledge your fraternity, they make you do silly shit. Luckily, I said this before. I was, I, let me tell you something about fraternity.

I never had more fun of my life. Can I just say that? Even before I belonged to the fraternity, for the first two years, I went to the parties. And come on, it's, it's like nightclubbing on camp. It's tremendous. this. And then I pledged Sigma Nu. And luckily, there was a kid in my pledge class, Pat McCormick, I think his name is, his dad was some type of higher up at Sigma New. It's a national fraternity. So they couldn't haze us. A pat with a rat at them out. They made us do some shit.

But not what we did to the class after us, you know. I wasn't even that involved in that part of it, because I had a girlfriend at that point, and I was way interested. Half the time, I wasn't even in the house. I was at her dorm room. But Danny Maloney, who was my big brother in the fraternity house, one night he made all the guys go downstairs naked, all the pledges, and made him jerk off on a cracker.

I wasn't there for that one. Well, I was. I was in my bed upstairs. And not Maloney, but somebody else came in and said, hey, Danny's got him downstairs, and I said, I'm not fucking going down there. You hear people go, you frat guys are kind of new. baggy shit. I go, yeah. You can't get me on that one. I'm not going to fucking,

oh, anyways, blindfolded too. That's like fucking, that's like Hamas shit. The worst thing they did was to the Sears brothers. They were identical twins. They grew up way up in Northern Maine. Hicks. They were good kids. They were nerdy. Just weird, but they were identical. And, you know, they were just, fraternity brothers would bully the shit out of them. and they grabbed one of the twins, stripped him down to his underwear. I don't think he was completely naked. And this is in the winter, by the way.

They just went in his room and kidnapped him. You can't do it. It's like fucking four football players involved. And they tied his fucking hands up and shit. And I don't know if he's complete. He might have been completely naked, but I know at least his underwear. They brought him to Andrew Skaghan Hall,

which is a female, all-female dorm across the way. and they put him on the first floor and rang all the buzzers and threw him in the hallway and fucking gross. Can you imagine today? You'd do 10 years in prison for that. Unless it was a black fraternity,

then you'd get a job at IBM. What? I don't know. Something like that. Where am I? Boy, I'm really all over the place. Anyways, listen to that. This is Penn State selling drugs.

A whopping 14 people, including a Long Island native, of course, at the very top of the food chain, were slapped with charges in connection to the multi-state trafficking scheme. Four of the charged are current Penn State students. Students. I'm talking like this now.

I can't wait for some teeth. Well, nine are alumni, and one is a dad. Oh, nice. The fraternity, Sigma Chi and Delta Upsilon, reportedly coordinated with suppliers in New York and Philly, trafficking in the Coke and distributing it mainly to Penn State

students. Well, you've got to pull all-nighters that's safer than those pills they take. Not anymore. They can be laced with fentanyl. That's a great point. You have to ruin everything, see? He's so negative. I'm trying to push cocaine on the kids, and he's poo-pooing it. Keeper.

Oh, my God. You're going to be a legend before this show's out. That's a great point, though. I know. I don't even believe kids you know somebody hand you a baby aspirin today that's in my regiment too by the way i'm pretty fucking healthy my my red blood was supposed to be so thick and too many red blood cells i told you when i gave blood they go it's 15.6 which is in the normal right but as you know as the days days go on before i get blood again i think it it gets like syrup sunday noted during a

monday press conference that sunday's the attorney who's busted them by the way that's his last name. That 24-year-old Augustino Abatello, of course. You goddamn guineas really made me laugh. That's him on the right. He looks like a young Clemenza in the first godfather.

Doesn't he? Oh, God. Of Westbury, Nassau County, that's Long Island, was at the very top of the food chain. Of course. He's a capo. Abateello and Thomas

Robinson, that's the one on the left, of Sigma Chi and Delta Upps Lawn fraternities, respectively, were the main suppliers in the scheme with Abateaello frequently traveling to New York to acquire large quantities of cocaine between 2023 and 2024. How much spending money do you need in college? You know what I mean? This is the best part is what they had the pledges doing. Abateello allegedly distributed cocaine as recently as February of this year,

according to court documents. When he learned law enforcement was interviewing individuals about Penn State, he said, what about Sandusky? You're going to fucking bust my balls. This kid was about Penn State drug dealing. He reportedly begged them not to talk about his involvement. Of course he did.

The cocaine was cut and packaged primarily at the off-campus Delta Upsom. salon and Sigma Chi fraternity houses before being distributed mainly to Penn State students. I just don't, I mean, and you're keeping up your grades? You're going to class? I mean, you know what I mean? That's going to, I mean, I was up at Maine. Christ, $100 would last me a month.

Oh, did I have so much fun in that friggin return? Oh, my God. Don't let anybody tell you. And of course, you know, that's how they describe white, Now, typical frat guy. We've been hearing that for the last 30 years. Typical frat guy. Oh, you mean a guy who likes to drink and try to fuck girls and hang out with his buddies?

And, you know, yeah. Well, what are you guys doing that, aren't in a frat? Oh, you're doing the same thing, but you're in a dorm. Suck my dick. And do it in front of Sigma Chi in the front window on Christmas. You guys have heard, wait a minute. There's a chapter, Sigma Nu. I've told you guys this on the show before.

Some of you might be new to the show. My big brother, Danny Maloney, he was a football player. Fucking crazy. Lineman. I come home. We're going to have a party on Saturday night. It's Friday afternoon.

I go in his room. He's in a closet with a drill. I'm like, what the fuck? And there's two other guys helping him. I go, what are you doing? Danny goes to me. Come here. Look in there.

I look on the whole. What do I see? a toilet. It's looking into the bathroom that the girls use when we have a party. I know. You guys are going, oh my God, that's fucking hard. It was fun back then. We watched a couple girls pee in our tub. Boy, we wanted them.

Must have been from Maine. I didn't watch anybody. But there was a line at his closet during the party longer than the one to fucking get in. Oh my God. And I wasn't. I didn't. I didn't fucking. look. Like I said, I had my girl, Sandra. Sandra, her last name was C. She was from Northern Maine, and she used to wear white penis pants. Oh my God, like a nectarine. And she was like almost as tall as me, just full lips and fucking, most of the girls were about 6-2-270. They all tried out for

football. Some of them made it. Some of them did. A lot of them shoot tobacco. But I was enveloped. I missed a lot of the fun, though. A lot of out of the hazing shit. Anyway, let's move on to somebody with big teeth. Mega tooth from Megalodon. A massive tooth. What's funny about this? They found it in New Jersey, I guess. I don't know. I guess it's the ocean. Meglodons are everywhere, Nick. Well, I know, but the Jersey shoe, you know for the dumb guineas in that show.

A massive tooth from a prehistoric megalodon, the largest shark ever to live, popularized in horror movie lore, was discovered along the Jersey. Jersey Shore by Snookie. No, by a vacationing father-son duo from Pennsylvania. Son of a whore. Michael Bowers, 42 years old, there he is with his son, said he discovered the fossil from the 3.6 million-year-old beast while visiting Seahile City with his son Bo, 11 years old, last Tuesday.

I always seem like, he says, I always seem like I find crazy stuff in the water. Well, yeah, you're at the beach. What are you going to find it in a bread truck? I never in a million years would have guessed that we would have found something like this. My son was speechless, he said, and not because he was shocked. He's autistic. He looks like my nephew, Anthony, when he was young.

It's a little heavier than I am. Anyways, check it out. and he looks and I've seen it but like at first I was like Here's if you're a good parent you go No you saw it Okay you didn't grow up in the pork and bean projects

You saw it you didn't seen it I hear Educated white people saying that Why is that Nick? Because the black culture is our pop culture And it's spilled into our real culture Well took over our real culture everybody's seen that. Nobody says saw it because it makes him sound hip.

Nick, you're being, no, I'm being fucking serious. It's the King's English. Quit fucking it up in the name of Tyrone. There's a message from the Nick Napollo show today. Okay, back to the Q kid and his good dad. He's like, told me to put my hand down. I was like, yeah, no, I'm good. But as soon as I've seen it, like, plunged for it and grabbed it. He likes to look for shark teeth and stuff like that.

And like I said, we've always find, like, the sand, tiger shark or maybe a bull shark or something. A bull dyke shark? My brother used to like to look for teeth on the beach. They were usually mine after my father yelled at me. It's a true story. That's a tooth, folks. Mine was a little bigger.

They got infected, but that's what it looked like. It was black and it was shaped like a sit-go sign. It's on my bucket list of stuff to do to find. Bowers told the outlet, bucket list. You're like 38 years old, dude, relax. My knees were shaken. Oh, you're gay. The two then presented their discovery to the Cape May Whale Watch and Research Center, which confirmed that the tooth was a bona fide fossil, much like Joe Biden. The tooth belonged to a megaladon, a fearsome species of shark that grew up to 60 feet long. You hear that? 60 feet long.

What happened to? How do they get extinct? Sound like they'd live forever. And has been extinct for over 3.6 million years. The Center's research director, Melissa Lorino said that. Now, I'm like, okay, it's how big? I mean, how old 3.6 million years? So I'm like, that's got to be worth some dough. I look it up, it goes, it's worth about 500 bucks.

Apparently you can find one at a gas station. And that was a dull tooth. The great white ones have a thousand. Well, they probably did too. but 60 feet long, that's a fucking whale. Good Lordy. Good Lordy. Let's lighten it up with some colored news.

Our next story is blacks being black. This is a couple days ago, but I wanted to get it in anyways because it's just, I like who got robbed. It made me laugh. Laugh. Banana pudding delivery led to a fatal shooting during Miami Gardens robbery. Not even real bananas. Banana pudding, which is delicious, by the way.

If you don't like banana pudding, you don't like a life. Oh my God, I love banana pudding. I put it on my steak. Is he lying? Yeah. It's a TV show. Let's take a look at the video of the story. According to the police report, the driver was making the delivery

when 20-year-old Demetrius Travis and 19-year-old Jabari Thomas... Well, they look like nice. They seem nice. Are you fucking kidding me? You can't judge a book by its cover. I swear to God if I was president, I'd probably get in trouble for this. I'd go around arresting anybody that was black with those haircuts. And you know what?

Nine out of ten of them would have a record and you'd be going, you know what? I'm glad you did that. Nobody's ever done anything good with the exploding cigar look. And then the fucking other one with a whoopey Goldberg look. Look at the hate in their eyes. They're just fucking hateful, ignorant. I'm not saying it's their fault and I'm not saying it's a fault. and I'm not saying it about black people,

but there's way too many of these guys. How do I know that? Because black people are saying it on the internet. They fucking hate them too. And again, it's about broken. I'm not going to go through the whole fucking spiel again. I'm just tired of looking at their faces. They call it black fatigue.

That's a nice way of putting it. Okay, roll him. They tried to rob him. Investigators say Thomas even got into the backseat of the driver's car and at one point allegedly put a gun to the judge. driver's head. Hand over that pudding. Know what I'm saying? I mean, the guy in the left, just the hate his face is, it's like they know they're black. A man facing a murder charge after a person delivering food in Miami food pudding was fatally shot at a sus-zook live right

near there. A suspect who allegedly tried to rob him made his first appearance in a Miami. So the guy, the driver, killed the motherfucker, one of them. And a Miami Day courtroom on Wednesday. As new details were learned, oh my God,

about what led to the shooting. Jabari Joshua Thomas 19 is facing charges of secondary felony murder and armed robbery in the August 6th incident. They asked him

When he was arraigned If he was hungry, he said Oh in the fucking kitchen And give me my big piece of chicken! That's his family In the back of the courtroom. According to an arrest warrant, a food delivery man was dropping off

an order of banana pudding In the 23-20,300 block of Northwest 34th court. Zuck lived on Northwest 70-something. It's right. It's not far from there. when Thomas and another man, 20-year-old Demetrius Tromaine, Travis, tried to rob him. Thomas got into the backseat of the victim's car and at one point allegedly put a gun to the driver's head, the warrant said.

The suspect were also trying to access the driver's cash app when the driver pulled out his own gun and opened fire. Travis was shot in the leg, chest and face, airlifted to a local hospital where he was pronounced dead. Which one? Do we know which one? Nothing matters, but... The shooter stayed at the scene. It was not charged. You don't like? Because it's Florida.

And it should be like that anywhere. It's a really simple ruling. Somebody's trying to kill you and you kill them, and they started it. It's like first grade. He threw the first punch. Okay, then he's... He deserved to get that pencil in his cornea. The other thing is they both looked like they were drafted in the second round for the NFL.

What do you black people? One is a defensive back. The other is a wide receiver. that's with the hair that's right what do you do black people can I ask you and and you got to blame it

on parenting a lot of it you can't you can't you know don't blame it on fucking slavery and shit even black people are saying that I saw a black last night going you get up these he's saying the N words and you're blaming the white man

and he's defending white people and they're just trying to mind their own business and get to work you know what I'm saying but what do you What do you do? What have you been doing the last 70 years? Having kids that you can't afford,

you can't feed them, and just leave them all, and you leave them. And as far as, it affects my opinion on abortion. That's why I'm not like anti-abortion completely. Because when you live in New York City and other big cities,

and you see homeless, nine, eight out of ten of them black usually, laying in their own piss on the sidewalk. Some black lady on the, I remember, There was a guy freaking out, homeless black guys, threatening people and just talking to himself. And I was standing next to a black lady at a red light watching it. And she goes, he's a lost soul.

And I thought that was so right on. Somebody had him and just fucking dropped him somewhere, basically. And I mean, and I'm not, well, don't just blame the, no, but fucking, it has 90% to do with it. Stop blaming slavery. Ugh. Anyhow. Finally tonight. And now for Nick's video of the day.

I got to, well, you gotta get me nude at a piano. We'll do that next time we do a bitch and kick. Because it's Monty Python. I think there was a naked guy playing a piano. Anyways, in our video of the day, vaudeville segment tonight, I thought I'd show this. Did I send it to my wife to gross her out? I can't remember.

Although, if this happened to me, I think I would have fainted too. But how many times have you guys been kayaking with a wife or the, you know, the girlfriend, or the miss her? or your trans boyfriend and you know you're out having a nice enjoying a nice day of this son's it look at it's beautiful I believe this is the Philippines by the way and and this happens to you oh pause pause are you are you kidding I would have never thought of doing that right Barely it worked though.

Ow. Look, it's like it happened to him before. That's not AI, folks. And he puts it back in the water. You can tell he's a native Filipino. If that's a white torso shit, you would have just put it in the way. You would have fucking try to tear it apart, tie it in.

I would have tied all the legs up and threw it back in and let it sink. Can you fucking imagine that? What you last night said, I sucked face with an octopus. remind me to octopus recipe this will be the best one I give you guys I don't think we've done it I've teased you about it for a long time

if we do a bit again we don't do many but I'm just saying the next one will be this one Andy's favorite dish by the way make it at least once a month we're having lunch in Florence Florence Italy and I ordered this and I asked the waiter I didn't think he was going to tell

me, you know, they hold those recipes like their, you know, CIA secrets. And the guy told me how to fucking do it. And you take a whole octopus, you put it in boiling water, simmer it for about an hour, then let it sit for about another half hour, and it makes it really tender. And then you cut it up into pieces, and you cut up bell pepper, onion, there's come out of olives in it um what am I forgetting

I'm forgetting like the manning grew what the fuck house is in there I don't know it's all very Mediterranean and um what you do is make an envelope out of tin foil which is cool and um you know you cover it with lemon and oregano and then you um yeah

you make an envelope out of tin foil I make like three or four packets put them on a cookie sheet, put them in the oven for like 30 minutes, and it steams everything in there. And you open it up and you smell, and you hit it with olive oil, a good olive oil. It's, and you could eat that shit. If you ate that shit seven days a week,

you wouldn't put on an ounce. And your cholesterol would go down. I mean, it's the most healthy. You wonder why. People on that Mediterranean diet, my wife's gynecologist, the guy's like 30 pounds lighter, 40 pounds. since I met him. And from,

not from the GLP, from Mediterranean die. That needs. He blew a guy way back in the military that was kind of dirty. Anyways, we got to do that one.

I don't even want to give that one away. It's so good. You do that, single guys, you'll get all kinds like male ass. That's it.

You guys think and I'll say it. Don't forget Cameo.com. That's something. I forget what it is. I roast people or something.

I'm sick of talking about it. I'll be fucking honest with you. Camio.com. It's fun. You guys think that I'll say, you're very welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow, which is Wednesday. And it's all like I say, go Red Sox, and we're out.

Good night, everybody. Hi, good night, everybody.