The Nick DiPaolo Show - Picking Putin's Pockets | Nick Di Paolo Show #667

Episode Date: February 23, 2022

Sanctions go into affect. MSNBC still blaming Trump. AZ rep wants to "redistribute trucks". Scotts goes after trans "ideology". The Amazing Jonathan dead. Mother turns in own son.

I am so sick and tired of the liberal agenda that is destroying our country from our schools to our workplaces to our media. It's literally everywhere. Well, everywhere maybe, but not this show. Never. Here you get the truth, unfiltered and unapologetic. I don't care if I hurt feelings or if I take a position that isn't agreeable or if I step on somebody's toes, I call them the way I see them and I put it out there for free. To keep this show free, I need your help. Please go to nickdip.com and make a contribution or even better, subscribe at thecomicsgym.com or on Patreon today and get an extra encore show each day. Discounts on merchandise and a whole lot more. Thank you guys so much for watching, sharing, and contributing

to the best show, in my opinion, on the internet and the most honest. You guys make it happen. guitar solo I'm all fired up. A lot of caffeine. A lot of caffeine. Welcome to the Nick Napalm Show. He was the best guy around. What do you mean? I'm still here, you motherless fucks.

Na, na, na. Kiss fucks. Nyah, nyah, nyah. Kiss my ass. Yeah. Yes. Hi, folks. How you is? How you be? What it was?

Mm-mm. Ugh. Slimy eyes. They water and I can't. And pfft. Let's get right to it. Fuck it. Let's do it tight.

Let's do it tight let's do it oh n-word nothing too important but just something that aggravated me this is what this has turned into I just saw a fucking

quick story about AOC pissed off the LGBTQ WSKBTV jerk offs because she wants to change the name of a post office

that was apparently already named after a woman who did a lot of good for the gay community so the gays are furious her doesn't she know her history that's what you're focused on as we're on the precipice of of russia or europe you know maybe world war three i might you know i i hope not but i'm saying that's what we're supposed to be do you fucking people understand we see through. I might, you know, I hope not, but I'm saying that's what we're supposed to be. Do you fucking people understand we see through you? When I say you people, meaning far left, radical, hey, look over here.

Okay? We don't give a crap. I'm tired of it. Tired of the N-word stories, the gay stories. I'm tired. Oh, wait a minute. What am I saying? I didn't even mean that. Anyways, that's all I want to go off my chest. Let's do the show.

That was funny. I made a slip-up. Let's get right on it. First story, picking Putin's pocket. Oh, my God. I just don't like... I don't want to see real war, obviously. Dallas has seen it.

Nobody wants to see that. But I'm just saying, it's kind of boring when every response, when we start shit with the country is, we're going to hurt you in the wallet. Except for Trump. He dropped the Moab, didn't he? The mother of all. Leave it to, which one's that?

That's too small. What's that, a medium? I know, I really hate these people. Give me an XL. Give me an XXXL. I'll blow these sand monkeys back to Chinatown. Chinatown? Yeah. What?

U.S. Deputy Treasury Secretary Wally. Wally Adeyemo. Adeyemo. There he is. Singing a song from the old south. I'm waiting for a cartoon bird to land on him. I can't do old Dixie. Secretary Wally, I'm sure he's a good guy. Damo outlined Tuesday's sanctions announcements Wednesday morning,

detailing the Biden administration's three-pronged approach. Three prongs? Biden can only keep one prong straight at a time. The sanctions that we imposed were significant actions that had an impact on Russia in multiple ways already. They're not even, what, an hour old? De Amo said during a brief appearance on MSNBC, and people are still watching that? Really? Can you stay categorical? You are fake news.

Oh, are they ever. They suck. Rachel Maddow got so embarrassed about what's going on with Biden, she took a sabbatical. She's like making a movie. I hope it involves clam lapping or, in her case, ball licking. Good night, everybody. And he's back.

Fucking wires up. U.S. President Joe Biden on Tuesday laid out what he called first tranche of U.S. sanctions or trench against Russia, including we're going to cut off the supply of Bubblicious and curtain rods, including two large financial institutions, Russian sovereign debt and Russian elites and their family members. We've done this before. I don't remember them ever crying out in pain. family members. We've done this before. I don't remember them ever crying out in pain.

On banks, the banks that, oh, Jesus. The banks that we went after, one of them was critical to Russia President Vladimir Putin's ability to project power within Russia. What was that? I'm trying to think of a bank. It's money they used to pay, the Kremlin used to pay for things within the country. The second bank was critical to their defense industry and their ability to project power outside of Russia. We've cut those banks off from the U.S. financial system. We've cut those banks off from the U.S. financial system, and today their assets are frozen because of the actions that we took, Adeyemo said. Give me the money, understand me? Give me the fucking money, you hear me?

That's Putin. You hear me? I got to come here and bust my body. Give me the fucking money. I don't want to say I like Putin because he kills journalists and shit. I know he's a KGB thug, but I don't know. I just like how fucking nationalistic he is, and he walks with a KGB fucking karate choppy. Rich Wood, a former

member of this show, sent me a clip of him singing on Blueberry Hill. Have you ever seen that? I say it's a deep fake. I think they took an old clip, and he says, no, it's real, because there's like Goldie Hawns in the crowd and like all celebrity I can't be real anyways on as far as uh the sanctions hurting individuals we cut off Russia's elites the elites are uh close to the Kremlin and uh close to Putin and the reality is that Vladimir Putin gains a great deal of his wealth from taking money from these elites and from the Russian economy. So like cutting off these individuals and their children, we cut off the ability for Vladimir Putin to use their resources to further his lifestyle.

What? Okay, so now he's drinking Bud Light. Get the... No more Stoli. Now he's drinking the potato vodka. Yeah, there you go. Exactly. He's got three hot fucking strippers grinding potatoes in his basement.

They're going to do shots and blow them. Hey, who doesn't have that? We have to work on this. As far as debt goes, the action we took to cut off sovereign debt means that over time, Russia's economy will be starved for the resources they need to project power within the region and around the world. What exactly leads you to believe the Soviets were involved? Where did you find that? That is delicious. Where'd you get that? Joe dropping a silent but deadly at a fucking meeting in Davos.

in Davos. Echoing Biden's remarks yesterday, Adeyemo acknowledged that there will be some cost to Americans, including at the gas pump. Of course. Of course. I think it's going to be like real. I bragged when I got down here to Georgia, I think I was paying $2 or $1.99 three years ago.

Now I'm at like $4 or $3.60 or whatever the fuck. I got to put super in. I drive a nice vehicle. I'm not a John Deere motherfucker. I drive a goddamn, you know what, Volkswagen VW. Toyota Corolla. Yeah, the official car of the angry minority, the Nissan Sentra. I say that in every city and the crowd laughs.

Because it's true. It's true. Fucking brothers love their fucking Nissans. The Sentra and the other one, whatever. They blow by at 400 miles an hour. That's why. And they go, we get ticketed more. Yeah, I've seen how you fucking drive like you do everything else angry like me

MSNBC whoa two stories mentioning MSNBC and I the headline is MSNBC has TDS, and TDS is Trump Derangement Syndrome. Okay? You're fucked. MSNBC intelligence analyst Malcolm Nance. Ugh. Name a guy. Ugh.

Malcolm. I wonder if they named him after Malcolm X. What do you think, Dallas? Said Tuesday, my parents hated white people. That's my man, Amy, and me, me, me, Malcolm. On Tuesday, The Beat, a show called The Beat, that former President Donald Trump is, will be, it says is, will be, is responsible in part of the bloody consequences of Russian President Putin's attempt to annex a portion of Ukraine.

Will you shut up? Will you guys just given up? I think they're like, we can say anything now. We're fucked and we know we're going to get killed. We're a party might not even exist in two years. Let's just do what we've been doing, lying through our teeth, only turning it up a notch. Can you tell me how Trump would be responsible? What I see you guys were saying for fucking four years, he was a secret agent working with Putin. He was under Putin's thumb. Yet none of this fucking shit, right? None of this shit went down. They were scared of him. Why do you have your eyes closed, you bat? You are fake news, sir.

Have your eyes closed, you bat. You are fake news. Sir. Oh, my God. It's embarrassing. I feel like they did the wrong thing for a living. I feel like they should have done anything but TV pundit politics. You're not bright enough. I'm not either, but this is an Internet.

I'm a comic. I don't want to fuck a comic running Ukraine. What am I saying? What's to say I couldn't run Rhode Island in three weeks? I'll tell you what to say. A couple of girls I met in college down there don't like me. Hands said this. Here's the video. Well, dictators are going to talk like dictators, right?

Game knows game. And Donald Trump in this particular circumstance- What a spokesman. Look, he's an autocrat. I said that when he became president, Putin's strategy was to create an axis of autocrats. And Trump was the American wing, which was supposed to reposition the United States and allow Europe to become a vassal area of an expanded Russia. This is just Donald Trump validating what we know about him. He's anti-democratic. He is ready to give this country away. What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic

things I have ever heard. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. May God have mercy on your soul. May you burn in hell with the other Malcolms, you cocksucker. to it. May God have mercy on your soul. May you burn in hell with the other Malcolms, you cocksucker. I fucking can't believe the Democrats are the ones who say that the right is the threat. They're the experts

on democracy. This is the fucking party that is shutting down free speech, works with fucking Silicon Valley to shut down anybody like me. You'll see what happens when they try to bring the truck convoy to D.C. They threw Americans on January 6th who just walked around the Capitol

without charging them in prison. They're still in prison. Some are in solitary confinement. And we, the right, is a threat to democracy you fucking again you know what folks all the shit that's coming out it doesn't matter because there's 11 guys in a room somewhere running the globe bill gates and a couple other jag-ops do you understand um but since this is how the game's played, and I like to play, I'm jumping in and arguing. But how dare you leftist fucks who stole an election say it's the right who threatens democracy?

You're throwing Americans in jail. You're calling fucking women moms, soccer moms and dads, you call them terrorists. They're the very fiber of democracy and you're, how do they stay on the fucking air? Please. I'll tell you how. Because people who are dumb as them, listen to this shit still, and they hate this country just as much as them. He added, look, this is going to get bloody. Donald Trump's going to be responsible for a lot of it. look, this is going to get bloody. Donald Trump's going to be responsible for a lot of it. I mean, I got a bellyache from eating clams two weeks ago. Trump had something to do with that. He used to eat clams. I mean, he adopted this country. He, excuse me, he said he extorted this country with anti-tank missiles they need now to defend themselves. All I know is you don't even

bring, yeah, don't bring up Biden and that he's bought and paid for by fucking now Ukraine China and about a three all is uh He says all I know is we haven't given Ukraine enough missiles here to really stop what's coming But if we do well, maybe this whole thing can be reversed a bit. I think I think your brain is going soft reversed a bit, I think. I think your brain is going soft. I think your brain is going soft. I'm a damn, I thought of sweating.

You come to me and ask me to commit finger popping. What? Hey, guys, the Comics Gym, you know what it is. You're watching it right now. If you haven't already, please take a moment and sign up at thecomicsgym.com to get my exclusive encore show. That's right. That's an extra show that people who don't sign up monthly don't get. Today, I'll be talking about AOC, her unibrow, delicious tits, and tiny brain. Good night, everybody. And how she just seems to piss everyone off these days. Anyway, I'll get into that in the Encore segment.

It's what we call, actually, a Libs Eating Libs segment. To get access, just click on any of the Encore episodes and sign up at the Sonny, Michael, or Vito levels. You'll also get discounts off Nick DiPaolo Show merchandise.

And starting this Thursday, you'll get access to a voicemail line where you can leave me a question or a thought and I'll play it and address it on the show. And then you'll be famous too and we'll do shows together. Again, you can only get this as a member

on thecomicsgym.com So if you haven't already signed up there, please do so now. This is without a doubt the best way you can support this show. It's the truth. My buddy Louie's in the news real quick. This isn't part of the show, but he's supposed to do a bunch of shows in Ukraine February 25 and 26. What is that, a couple days?

This weekend? No, he's still fucking thinking about it. I was texting with him. You know, he doesn't want to fucking, but he doesn't want to get trapped there, right? He doesn't want to get trapped there because he's got shows coming up in Norway. What a fucking life.

Norway, Sweden, Switzerland, Portugal, and Spain. So, you know, if he gets trapped there, then all those shows get fucked. So, I don't know, Lou. I told him, don't be a pussy. Get in there. Have a bodyguard on stage. Tell them jokes. Make those people laugh.

Anyways, he said, fuck off. Let's get to the next story. Arizona asshole. Arizona Democratic rep Ruben Gallego. Gallego, I should say. Two L's is a gna gna. Look at him. He looks like a straight Andy Richter.

Ruben Gallego tweeted Tuesday his desire for authorities to seize trucks, block... This is a guy, a rep, Democrat Arizona saying this. Not a guy up in Canada working for Faggot Trudeau. To seize trucks blocking highways near Washington, D.C. and redistribute them to other trucking businesses. Really?

Who said that? This fag said this. Who the fuck said that. This jerk-off. That's Mr. Gallego from Arizona. He said, perfect time to impound and give the trucks to small trucking companies looking to expand their business, Gallego wrote

in response, yeah, go ahead and try it. Yeah, go fuck with truckers. It's not like they'd carry heat under their seat. Response to a news report wanting that a convoy of truckers could shut down the highway surrounding the nation's capital. I can't wait. Please do it. It makes for good TV at a minimum. Several organizations have planned to launch trucker convoys in various cities across the United States, including D.C., to protest COVID-19 restrictions

and vaccine mandates. I goddamn love it. One of the Freedom Convoy organizers, I like this guy, he's got his name right out there, Bob Bullis, announced plans to clog Washington freeways, which is clogged every day. You ever try to get through it? I've driven from New York to fucking Baltimore and disrupt traffic in the city like a boa constrictor.

This guy ain't fucking play around. You go, buddy boy. Guarantee his check on account is frozen and everything else. That basically squeezes you, chokes you, and then swallows you. Yeah, we know how a boa constrictor works, Mr. Bullock.

And that's what we're going to do to D.C. Now this, they still have some restrictions, I huh out there still it's so silly like the truck is here have to get the back they must i don't know i don't think they're required to but i think they make it really hard on them um anyways it's so silly because they're in their trucks by themselves 99% of the day. Nobody's fucking less of a threat than a trucker when you think about it. Gallego's comments follow remarks made by Ottawa Mayor Jim Watson expressing his intent to sell trucks impounded following the Freedom Convoy.

I dare you, here he is telling us the size of his cock, obviously. I dare you to do that, because truckers won't just show up or dox you online. They'll show up with a fucking gun, put it to your kid's head. At least the truckers back in the, they did, all the movies I saw, Stallone. I've asked our solicitor and our city manager, they're proud to be Nazis, how we can keep the tow trucks and the campers and the vans and everything else that we've confiscated and sell those pieces of equipment to help recoup some of the costs

that our taxpayers are absorbing. Your taxpayers are all for what they're doing, shit face. Watson said Saturday as he took it in the ass from his life partner, Billy. So that's one of the provisions of the Emergency Act. And oh, wait a minute. Is this a Canadian? We jumped to a Canadian. And we have been the beneficiary of the Emergency Act, he says, really. Can you imagine? They don't, I was saying this to Dallas before the show. They're so ensconced in their own little

echo chamber, their liberal bubble, that they don't, I don't think they have a good sense of history. This is when people start getting, you know what I mean? Now you're fucking with their livelihood. You know what I mean? Or fucking putting food on the

table there was a story on Fox this woman donated 50 bucks to the trucker and they she's a single mom they froze her shit I mean playing with fire it's like they're calling a bluff like yeah get off the couch stop watching the Canadians that have an horrible year anyways. Come fuck with us.

I'll take care of you, eh? It's all about you. I don't know. But I want, I can't wait to see it here. It'll be interesting. Because let's say the truckers go to Portland, Oregon, or some real blue, right? Normally, those truckers are blue-collar,

Trump-type people, right? In Oregon, Portland's filled with far-left radical, but they hate the fucking government and want to replace so will they join it? You know what I mean? Strange bedfellows. Anyways, just say no to trans is what my dad told me and that's when we were shopping for cars in high school. He meant to trans him. He goes it's too giddy, stare at him. Just say no to trans. Republican senators will protect Americans. Sure they will.

I won't hold my breath. From the transgender ideology in 2023, according to a 2022 campaign platform from the senator, excuse me, who's helping to elect GOP candidates to the Senate this November. Yeah? You got a name? Fucking quiz! Yeah. That was his interview. Facts are facts. The earth is round.

The sun is hot. There are two genders. To say otherwise is to deny science, said the campaign document released February 22nd by Senator Rick Scott of Florida. He comes across to me as a bit of a fruitcake. I'm pretty good with my radar. But whatever, he's out there, you know, I'm probably wrong. He's probably got 11 kids, but so did Merv Griffin. That don't mean shit. Look, here he is counting how many guys he slept with last week at the fucking toolbox. Good club.

Rick Scott, Republican, Florida, is the 2022 chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee. Wow, he's moving up there. You are correct, sir. Yes, I am. In exchange for American votes, the document promises to protect the government's recognition of the two different and complementary sexes. Humans are born male and female. There are two genders, and to deny that is to deny science. He's getting right to the meat of the matter, Rick Scott.

You know what I'm saying? Two genders. You can hear him right here in action. It could be two figure skaters, male from Russia. I don't know. No government forms will include questions about gender identity. I love it. Or sexual preference.

I can't wait to see them try to get this through. So he's saying there's going to be no, when you, you know, fill out forms now, it says, you know, man, woman, fucking snake, caterpillar tits, whatever. You can check any of them. He's saying this. He's going to say man or woman on these forms. No doctor will be allowed to perform irreversible surgical or gender-altering procedures on

any minor child. Once they become adults, they can do whatever they want, which is fair enough. But see, the fruit cups, the fags are like, no, we've got to... You've got to get them when they're young. You got to get them while their minds are just sponges. We will protect women's sports, he says, by banning biological males from competing.

It is hugely unfair and would erase many of the gains women have made in athletics over the last 50 years. It's true. Good. We'll get flagged for that. I can't play three seconds of anything. That's two supposedly girls, right? Now, I would have thought it was two wrestlers from Nebraska in 1978. Scott promises to oppose transgenderism as a political no-brainer. Many polls show the American public is increasingly opposed to transgender activists, far-reaching demands including government support for irreversible surgery and hormone treatment for children.

You're damn right. Tip-toe through the window, by the window, that's where I'll be. Come tip-toe through the tulips with me. Oh, tip-toe from the garden, from the garden. Dallas, again, I keep thinking Dallas is my age. Are you familiar with Tiny Tim? Yeah. He used to be on the Tonight.

He got married on the Tonight Show. He used to shower every time he went to the bathroom. He was so fucked. You know, he had that overbearing Jewish mother from the... Way richer than I'll ever be. Was, but then he died. I think he called a Canadian trucker a faggot. Hey?

I can't believe it's almost March already. You know what that means? I'm back on the road again, like Willie Nelson. Yeah, but it's not till the end of May. Good. Guys, come on out, because I haven't done comedy a couple months, and it'll be great. You'll watch the rust pile up next to me on stage.

And nobody's funnier when they're not doing well than me. I either end up having the club ask me not to come back or I get escorted back to the hotel like I did in Sacramento by two cops. True story. Guys wanted to kill me in a pickup truck.

Where am I? Anyways, I'm on the road next month. You can find all these tour dates and ticket links on my website at nickdip.com. Here's what's on sale currently. March 25th, Hyena's Comedy Club in Dallas, where Gutfeld's doing a show this week. March 26th, the next night, Hyena's Comedy Club, Fort Worth. April 7, 8, 9, a place I've done many times. I actually shot a special.

Comics at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut. It's a big casino. You get to punch an Indian in the head. May 7, Governor's Comedy Club in Levittown. No, that's May 6. I'm sorry. May 7, the next night, the Paramount Theater in Peekskill, New York. September 9, Soul Joel's Comedy Club, Royalsford, Pennsylvania.

September 10, Algonquin Theater in Menisquan, New Jersey. And September 11th, Sugarloaf Performing Arts Center in Chester, New York. Again, you can get all the links for tickets at nickdip.com and click on the motherfucking tour button. Aight, aight, aight. Speaking of comedy, that was well, uh, speaking of comedy, there was a guy, I don't know if you're familiar with him. Some of you, my fans, will be.

He didn't get super famous, but he made a lot of money. Amazing Jonathan. He was the Freddy Krueger of magicians. That's as happy as he ever got, by the way. He was a magician. I'll show you some video at the end here. His real name, John Edward Sesley, I didn't realize that, stand-up comic

and magician who delighted and shocking audiences for decades as the amazing Jonathan. He died yesterday after a long battle with heart disease. The self-described Freddy Krueger of comedy was 63 years... Boy, these are a lot of guys I know

the last few years. He's gone, and we couldn't do nothing about it. This guy, I'm going to show you some clips. You know, prop act, but yeah, the kind, dark, funny, fucked up.

I'm going to tell you a quick story. He used to do, I'll explain it after, but he was at Nick's Comedy Club and I hung out with him in the green room and watched him do more blow than Tony Montana did in three movies. And just a fucking wild man and funny as hell. Jonathan Sesley, he passed away around 1130 last night. Fellow stand-up comic Penny Wiggins posted on Facebook, my heart is broken. One of my best friends, one of the funniest humans I've ever met. I tell Louis

this in a text. I go, hey, amazing Jonathan died. He tucks back. First comedian that's died that I don't give a fuck about. That's what makes us, and you know what? You comics. I know. Same way.

I said, if you guys aren't making fun of me, whatever the fuck, don't come. I've never met, I love him so very much, and will never forget this wonderful, amazing, kind, funny, great person. Detroit native, Sesley's, Zeley's, just say fucking that. Gained mainstream fame on Vegas headliner Chris Angel's mid-2000s reality TV show, Mind Freak. An often injected

gonzo fog war bits into his shows. Signature shock value moments included pretending to suck on his own dangling eyeball, slitting his wrists, I think I'm gonna show you a few of those, and spiking his own tongue. Let's take it, I got about two and a half minutes here. Let's take a look at what he's... That's cocaine. That's cocaine.

Sorry you had to see that. I want to take my clothes off and run around. This prevents streaking. Hey, it was funny in the 80s, folks. Somebody have a Bic lighter? Anybody have a Bic? You have one? Anyone? Just one of those little plastic lighters. Throw it. Throw it. Perfect. Just about fills that up. Something in my eye. Stand up. Stand up! You look like the idiot that killed my parents.

I'm just kidding. I killed my parents. Come here. idiot that killed my parents. I'm just kidding, I killed my parents. Come here, come here. Feel. Is that real? That's no fake knife? Would you feel my arm? Is there any rubber or latex on the arm? Then explain this. That was an illusion. What you're about to see with this guy's arm and this knife is real. Stand up. Fake knives. Oh, shit!

Oh! That's going to sting for a while. All right. That's going to sting for a while. All right. That's good. Anyhow, I was hanging out with Nicks. He used to lay a line of Coke. He didn't have...

Well, he did the jar thing too, but he used to lay a line of Coke, like about two and a half free feet. It was fake, obviously. It was powder and he would snort it. But nobody knew he had a real line of coke behind it every show. He showed me. He'd be doing blow on stage during the show. How do you you go. I like magicians like that. Anyhow, the Bally's Casino Star, attraction, comedy,

I didn't know he did this well. Comedy Central staple who reportedly earned three million a year at his peak. How's that, huh? We're doing tricks you do in high school with your friend. Was diagnosed in March 2007

with a serious heart condition. Surprise, surprise. Said the Las Vegas Journal. He says, he comes out on stage and he said, I was told I have a year to live. He announced during a public appearance in 2014. The audience, assuming the dark declaration was another of his pranks, started to laugh,

but he stopped them and he said, not a joke. He confirmed that his voice cracking. The all magician gained further notoriety as the alt magician, I'm sorry, as the subject of a controversial 2019 Hulu documentary, the amazing Jonathan documentary. The film followed Cecily's then 60 as he mounted a comeback tour after defying his terminal illness diagnosis and simultaneously dealing with an ongoing drug

addiction. Well, whose fault is that? Early on Monday, his wife of nearly eight years, stuntwoman, magician Anastasia Sin, posted that her husband was completely unresponsive and reaching the final stage of life after an absolute nightmare of a week. I feel bad for her.

But anyways, rest in peace. Finally tonight, cocaine. What I tell you, no kids. Why? No kids. Why, you stubby fuck. Look at you now. Mother of the year is the headline. The suspect sought in Chicago train robbery

had been identified as a Loyola University student. He's this fucking Loyola student and he's robbing a... Folks this is why we wonder about you. Loyola University student recognized by his own mother who reportedly dragged him into the police station to turn himself in. I said I'm loving it. Zion Brown, an 18 year old sophomore at Loyola, doesn't look like too much of a punt, University of Chicago, has been charged with armed robbery. Imagine he's a college student, after allegedly stealing about $100 in cash, oh that's worth it, has been charged with armed robbery. Imagine, he's a college student. After allegedly stealing about $100 in cash,

oh, that's worth it, at gunpoint from a Metro train conductor Tuesday afternoon. What the fuck are you thinking? After recognizing photos of a masked suspect seen glancing into a station security camera shared by police and reported by the media as her son. Brown's mother brought him into a police station in Calumet City for him to turn himself in. The detail was revealed at Brown's bond hearing when he was represented by a private defense attorney who argued his client was hungry

and was looking for something to eat. Oh, boy, you. So that's the only option. Can you imagine a lawyer has to say that? Brown reportedly attended class after the armed holdup, and his lawyer asked the judge, listen to this, his lawyer says to the judge, remember your own days as a hungry

college kid in determining his bail. Cook County Judge Mary Ann Ahmed ordered Brown held without bail. Loyola Phoenix reported citing the Cook County State's Attorney's Office. The judge has a good comeback to that. Hear ye, hear ye, The court's in session. The court's in session now. Here come the judge. According to the CWB, Ahmaud rejected the defense attorney's argument.

Ahmaud is the female judge. Saying, as a hungry college kid, she herself would have never thought to rob someone and granted the state's request for no bail. Can you imagine? Must be a public defender, obviously, saying to a judge, come on, you were a thief when you were a kid. That's basically what you're saying. You would have stole something. Oh my God. Oh my God. This reminds me, you guys remember that follow the show a year or two, couple years ago during the riots was it down in baltimore the black mom saw her kid on the news and went down there and started pounding him i should have had you pull it up started in front of all the other writers my face was getting red

for him he was like 15 or whatever and his mother was fucking then she was on all the you know i think fox interviewed her she was on all the shows you know, I think Fox interviewed her. She was on all the shows. Again, no dad in the picture. Nobody brings it up, though. But anyhow, mom snitched. We know, right? Snitches get stitches, so she's going to get her face caved in

when fucking Zeon gets home for naming him Zeon. Is that a bug spray? Anyways, good going, mom. We need more like you, but where's your fucking husband? Maybe she has one, but what are the odds? That's the other thing. Black women never get blamed

for opening their legs for any hip-hop wannabe when they're 15 and getting fucking and continuing the cycle. They always blame the fucking guys that just don't. They're doing pigs. All of us, I mean. Even the cycle. They always blame the fucking guys that are just doing what they're doing. Pigs. All of us, I mean.

Even the Chinese. They get wanted too a long time. That's it, right? That is it, ladies and gentlemen. Christ. Tomorrow's the last day of the week. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com or patreon.com. Please sign up there.

Thanks for you guys who answered my guitar question too i don't know what a luther is i thought it was something you wash your balls with but that's a loofer apparently um so that don't forget nickdip.com click on the tour day cameo.com if you'd like me to roast a friend or a relative uh go to cameo.com tell me about the person i'll make a video. Send it right to them. That's it. You guys think and I will say it. You are very welcome. See you back here for the final day of the week tomorrow. Take care, everybody. guitar solo君のことを知っているサブタイトル キミノミヤ