The Nick DiPaolo Show - Platner "KIK'ed" In The Oysters | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1903

Episode Date: June 1, 2026

In today's episode Nick talks about Platner's KIK Account, Games In Gulf of Oman, Chopped Up Man in Lyft Car, Trump Has "Giant" Fans, FL Cop "Stumped" and a Horse's Sidekick! The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow GET TOUR DATES & TICKETS - https://www.nickdip.com/tour NOVEMBER 5TH - The Punchline: ATLANTA, GA NOVEMBER 6TH - Rivers Casino: PHILADELPHIA, PA NOVEMBER 7TH - Soul Joel's: POTTSTOWN, PA MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

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A long time and you hit it. He hits my hair. Welcome to the live lineup where it's free shows all day. If you want to watch it, ad free. Join Rumble premium. Don't forget to follow my channel and download the Rumble app. That was Travolta, few young people. Saturday Night Feeble, one of the greatest movies ever.

It was Gene Sisko. Ciscoll and Eben, I think it was Gene Ciscoll's favorite movie of all that. Because he's a bald and nerdy guy. He probably got picked on. probably looked at Tony Menor, like, that's who I wanted to be in high school, man. Anyways, Travolta, fucking love. I get fags, a few fags a pass. The rest of them, you're going to hell.

So am I, but I'm just saying you're going to be there ahead of me. I get Freddie Mercury pass. Really talented, famous one. Elton John, the ones I really like. And as far as, you know who, Travolta, I think he's a buy. I think he goes, but, and I mean, he's one of those guys that get so much push. see when he was young you get bored with it let me try a dick and break up the monotony hey who hasn't done that what hello I give him a pet I had that line of my

act about you go into an Irish family's house and the worst day of their life they always have a picture of Kennedy up there because he was assassinated I said the worst day of Italian people we have a picture to Volfo and he came out gay Anyway, what am I going to be talking about today? Platner, he had a kick account. Boy, I got off that in a hurry. No, I guess it's where young people fucking hook. How's that different than any other app?

You think they're meeting there to teach each other how to bake pies? The fuck. Yeah, so if you don't know who I'm talking about, it's a Democrat from Maine, who's sort of leading, one of the leading people to be the nominee. He did like four or five tours, maybe more.

He's a little off his rocker. I was just saying in Dallas. I respect him. I like people who are a little off and make noise, but I don't understand how you can be put your neck on the line a number of times to defend this country and not being right with your politics. I'll never understand that. We also have games going on in the Gulf of Oman.

Boy, that ceasefire. They keep extending. it. Also, they found a guy chopped up in a lift car. That's why I don't take those anymore. What else do we have? Oh, we got a hilarious. This one has been around a few days, but I missed it last week. I wanted to show you anyways. Did you guys see the clip of the deputy sheriff pulling over a woman? Because she was supposedly had her cell phone in one of her hands. We'll show you that. why it's so fucking ironic and funny. Anyways.

Weekend, weekend recap. Red Sox go into Cleveland. Cleveland's a good team. They were in first place. And the socks somehow take two out of three. They lose the first one, and they had lost six out of seven.

Now I feel bad for them. I was laughing at him, but I'm finding out guys are hurt that I forgot about. Garrett Whitlock is a set-up man. In other words, a guy that comes in in the 8th to set up the closer. And he's been lights out for like three seasons. The guy is just the best guy we got. I didn't know he's on the, they put him on the, he's got knee inflammation. So he's gone.

No crochet. He's our ace. You guys are probably tired of hearing this. So he tried to throw this weekend after like two to three weeks. He's already missed like three weeks and started to have some more pain. He says it's not a setback. I know. He goes, I don't think it hurt enough to be a setback.

Why, we ain't them doing you, fuck this. And he's a tough dude. He's like, he'll go out there, missing an arm. But all these, I mean, Roman Anthony, he's already been in crisis. It's been, what, three weeks or a month already. And this is not good. And Trevor's story, a couple weeks. These aren't just, these are like a list.

And so I didn't even recognize the lineup against Cleveland. And I'm like, what the fuck? And not only that, they sit like a couple guys. They give them a rat. Like the good guys that we have left, Contreras, who's been tremendous. And they like sit him. So I look at this lineup. I go, who the fuck are they going to beat?

And they win the next two games. They put up like both games. They put up like seven runs in the eighth inning. Their bats went crazy. I've been badmouthed in Jaron Duran for a month. And what's he done in the month I started by, out of the beginning of May. He's hit nine homers this month.

He's been on fire and making great defensive plays. I still think you could get huge stuff for him. But he's already got 10 home runs. You can't, you know, anyways. You guys don't give a fuck. I don't blame you. Hockey, NHL final start tomorrow night. I don't think this is going to be a ratings bonanza.

You get Carolina versus Vegas. Sounds like an indoor soccer match. but two great hockey teams I'll be glued to the set Vegas I think might have the edge I don't know I cut the grass anyways

oh here's one for you I left the house this morning got up I actually showered you know it's that time of month and I go out the door and I'm in a good mode you know you get my car I start my car and I go

I go back in the house my wife goes what did you forget I go my teeth had to go back and get my choppers. You know, I immediately went to the mayor and took my shirt off to see if my physique was crumbling. Sometimes you can't argue with old age. She was laughing when I shut the door to go back out. My wife was cackling.

What's so fucking funny. What am I? What am I amuse you? No, no, you tell me, what's so fucking funny? No, no, he knows what he said, Anthony. It's a big boy. Tell me what's so fucking funny. You know it?

Hey! Jesus. I'm going to start smoking again and get the phleg out of my mouth. Uh, that's about it. If you're gonna roast a chicken, can I say, Spatchcock it? I just like saying Spatchcock. Am I all right?

Center-wise? Yeah, it's all right. Yeah, I did that. And the other thing, when you get a roast chicken, depending on the peevee feet, get one on the fuck. pounds. They're easier to cook. And if you spatchcock it,

you flatten it. And why am I telling you that? Well, I'm a half a fag. Good night, everybody. Let's get to the fucking show so I can get out of here and learn the second half of Let It Be. Boy, I got the solo down, though. Oof.

Here's the other reason I know I'm dying slowly. When I play guitar a lot, that's aggravating whatever it is. My right show. By the way, Stephen Crowder, I told you, right, that he's having I said scaffolding taken out of him. He sends me a picture. He's at the Mayo Clinic in wherever the fuck.

I'm not even sure. Somewhere in Texas, maybe. I don't know. But he's, I just found this funny. I must be getting old. This is the old segment, I guess. He's at a bar, and he's sitting in a seat. And the seat looks like a lady's legs and ass.

You know I mean? So it looks like he's standing at a bar. Very clever, I thought. I can see some old. drunk guy pinching the ass. What the fuck? And what did he send me? He sent me something today. He was on painkillers and he was giggling like a little schoolgirl.

It's very fucking funny. All right, Crowder. Get well. Fucking me and him. Fucking dying. I'm dying. Hey, let's get right to the goddamn Platner the dick is on kick. Main State,

Maine Senate candidate Graham Platner can be seen in a shocking new topless first of all stop with the shocking they always get me too I still fall for those words

they use them all the time same with TV shows they go viewer warning is advised and you watch it somebody you know showed an ass cheek and they even pixelated that I'm looking for a pussy and Grand Platin can be seen in a shocking new topless towel wearing selfie

from his account on an app widely used for porking as we said back in the 40s for hookups as it emerged the Nazi tattoo-wearing Democrat sexted with numerous women outside outside his marriage.

That's him bragging about his pets. That's a middle-aged guy's body. Let's be honest. You know, I mean, I have no kids. I don't have a fucking family. I have time to stay in shape. I read this whole thing girls like a dad body now.

So break out the lasagna and the heavy cream. You're married. I know. My wife likes it too. She thinks I'm too skinny now. I go, what the fuck's your problem? Oh, my fucking, since I've known you, I've been trying to drop the same 10 pounds. Now you're busting my balls. Anyway, she's in the hospital. In the image obtained by the post from his kick account, the left-laning platinum is clad

only in a towel with his entire torso bear. wrote this, a nun and multiple tattoos visible. Don't forget his, what do you call, love handles. I always say handlebars. I guess they are if you're a fag. His head is cut off in the picture, but they found it in the kitchen, put it back on. No, but he has seen standing in a bathroom. Apparently, they could be describing what a selfie is in the bathroom. You stupid, fucking, I fell for it. Look at a toilet in the back. It's pretty clean. I might vote for him. a picture himself and, you know.

You're a fat fuck. Look at you. Oh, that's his wife who's not very happy with him, apparently. A Platner who once boasted of his flexible moral compass. That's a nice way of putting it. See, that's hilarious, because morals aren't supposed to be flexible. That's what morals are. They're not supposed to be flexible. Just like they go religion, their institution needs to be changed.

It's an institution. Not supposed to be changed. You titless wonders. Flexible and moral compass. I'm not saying I'm a moral guy. I'm just saying I know the difference regarding cheating on one's wife. So he's saying it's all right. That's what he means with a flexible moral compass.

And he said that in a 2019 Reddit post. Can somebody explain Reddit to me? Dallas, do you understand? What makes it different than other? I don't get it. Are they supposed to be? That's just where all the angry people go and talk shit about everything. As opposed to what?

X? It's worse. Well, I've been in there. It isn't worse. I've been all over there. I'm, fuck, I fit in. It's nothing worse than fucking X. I don't, but Reddit, they act like they're elite angry people.

That's what I'm saying. It's mostly a lefty. It is a lot of lefty shit. Yeah, it's true. Cheating on one's wife. He said that in a 2019 red of both went by, he went by P. Hustle, 0331. I read that as Fustle on the app.

A moniker similar to one he's used, on other social media website. Wow, he's all over the place. The account was made in 2016, and Plattner claimed he had deleted the app from his phone, but didn't delete his account, the Wall Street Journal reported.

Nearly 60% of kicks 15... This is a thing that has 15 million people on it, and I had never heard of it until... What the fuck? I've heard of Outkick. Nearly 60% of kicks 15 million monthly active. Can't you and I come up with something that somebody

needs fucking, I don't know, wooden nipples? There's so many billionaires who came up with these 15 million monthly active users are between 13 and 24 years old, according to Forbes magazine.

All right. I'm just saying that doesn't make him unusual as a guy but a married guy, yes. Here he is. going, look, they took my heart out. Oh, it's on the other side. The app has been the center of numerous

pedophilia scandals. I didn't know that. The outlet reported it. It was labeled a Predators Paradise. That was my screen name in high school. Well, you didn't have computers in high school. I know. I just wrote it on a screen. What? You know, with spray paint?

Remind me to talk about my book. I'm writing about my first girlfriend, my dentist's daughter. you'd be laughing at me Watt Brighton it fucking got some good shit I had to rearrange I'll get that out later anyways yeah so that was ranked

very high on the pedophilia sites on something called the National Center of Sexual Exploitation Platte's wife even flagged to ex-campaign director Genevieve McDonald that she discovered he was sexting with 12 women

the New York Times reported wow that's called a pimp's dozen. A Platner campaign representative claimed to the outlet that Platon was only in contact with six women. Oh, in that case, let it slide, in contact with six women, and had stopped communicating with them before launching his Senate run. That's like going, well, they only raped three girls before he ran for Senate. Oh, all right. I'm not saying he raped anybody. I'm just saying what you did before you got. get into politics matters too. That's my point, doesn't it? Maybe not. Here she is on their

wedding day, the honeymoon on the side of a Home Depot. Look at her going, motherfucker, I saw those pictures. I'll wrap that bronze heart around your neck and choke you with it. Amy Gertner told Platner campaign aids that she discovered the sexually explicit messages. That's the wife, by the way. She put out, I watched a clip today, why I didn't put it in this story, I don't know, of her, you know, cutting her husband some slack and I love them to death. No marriage is perfect. Well, yeah, no marriage is perfect, but holy shit. No marriage is fucking. Anyways. But she seems very forgiving. She's probably hoaring around with some truck driver from Bangor. I don't know. I'm just joking. Discovered sexually explicit messages in late spring, 2025.

The pair married in 2024. Now about this guy, like I said, I like a loose cannon. I like a guy who walks to his own. I just don't understand how you can do it. I don't know how many tours he did. Pretty impressive military record and fucking want to be and run for something Democrat. The Democrat, it's no longer a political party that opposes Republicans. I've been saying this going on year three. It's an enemy of the state. It's an enemy of this country. That's not an exaggeration. They've clearly made, they've clearly made that they're not hiding the fact that they are, they hate this country and all they want

is to win back all the House and the Senate. They already said they want to stack the Supreme Court. All this shit, they want to basically wipe their ass with the Constitution, yet they say that's what Trump's doing. And people fall for it. You fucking idiots who vote Democrat. Honest, that's where you are. I didn't used to say that.

I go, you think differently. I understand. You like big government. I don't understand. But that's not the argument anymore. It's like, oh, you hate. the country. No, we don't. We try to make it better. By letting in 25 million fucking people from scum countries? It's all been done before. Don't you watch the show?

Hey, November 5th, I'll be at the punchline in Atlanta if I don't have some type of gum disease. In November 6 the next night, Rivers Casino in Philly, November 7, sold Jolves and Pottstown, PA. Go to Nick Dip.com to get your tickets now before they're sold out. somebody asked me this weekend in a barrow will you get nervous because i said well i i never get nervous because at this stage of my life when i do a gig everybody in there paid to see me which makes such a fucking difference even if it's 11 people no it's better than that but um i will be nervous because i've never taken a year off and i was thinking you know and i'm thinking like

louis louis always out there but louis took a couple of years off when he had all that, you know, all that car controversy going on with his dating life. And most people I know have taken, I had never taken a year off. So I will. I'll have butterflies. But like I said, when I show up at a gig, I feel like I'm almost at a barbecue with friends. And I mean, I could be wrong. They could get mad and go, boy, he's rusty.

Let's get out of here. And they walk out. Hey, go to the merch page at nickdip.com. if you want to buy some shit made in Vietnam. No, I don't know. The best thing to buy on there is the guy in the upper right-hand corner, that's a doll, a blow-up doll of me. We enhance the penis by six.

Also at nickdip.com for some merch. Buy some merch to support the show. We get hats, hoodies, t-shirts, miniskirts, micro-skirts, plastic bras. What is that? And you know what? Clit rings. Also want to send a personalized video to someone

I'll say what you're thinking so you don't have to go book that at shoutout.us You tell me what you want me to make a few jokes about a friend of yours Don't give me the jokes like a lot of people do. They're like auditioning for me. Yeah, I got it. Anyways, I got it. Tom's got a small deck and so does Jan. What?

Anyways. Let's go on to the next story, please. Halt, who goes there? Things are heating up in the Middle East. I'm waiting any day for Trump to go, fuck it, I am done playing. I thought we were at that spot weeks ago. It turns out that it seems like to me,

these Mueller's not a negotiation. And you know, Dallas, I got a few theories on that. And I guarantee you this is one of them. You're not getting the whole story when they tell you what they negotiate. You know the fucking crazy-ass Iranian said, let me tell you something. If you blow up our power plants, but everything like you said, you're going to, we're going to make 9-11.

We already get guys over there. We will unleash. It has to be something like that. I feel like they're playing our side and keeping it going. Meanwhile, Russia and China, this is how I think. I think I'd make a good Pete Higgseth because I'm paranoid. I don't trust. They seem to be running the clock out and they have plans to do something else.

I could be wrong. but you know don't forget the fact that jerk off Biden thanks to him and his immigration policy there's hundreds of sleeper cells

as we talk right now you know you have no idea what they're doing so I think that's part of the negotiation and Trump can't just go oh fuck that I don't believe you because they know the U.S. military says it stopped another commercial vessel trying to break through the United States blockade of Iranian ports. U.S. says it struck a commercial ship trying to breach

blockade and reach Iran by Konstantin Torapina. Excuse me, I water ski behind that boat, by firing a missile into its engine room. Those are called smart bombs, folks. They literally, they pull up to the door, they ring the doorbell, you open it, and they go right in your kitchen and finish you off. Right into the engine. Who said that? The U.S. Central Command said that on Saturday. I believe them. The Gambia-flagged cargo ship, Leon Starr, ignored more than 20 warnings from the United States. 20 warnings. Sounded like a chopper. Incoming warning from U.S. forces overnight as it tried to enter an Iranian port, the military said.

The ship remained adrift in the Gulf of Oman. and U.S. forces have not boarded it. With the latest action, U.S. military has stopped six ships trying to breach the blockade. We're the ones who have the blockade up. One was allowed to proceed. Another 116 ships have been redirected. Wow. Waui.

It's Christopher Walken said in that sketch. Wally. The U.S. launched the blockade on April 17th, and we're in June today. Welcome to June, by the way. in response to Iran effectively closing the strait after the war of the Middle East began with the United States and Israeli strikes on February 28th. This shit started back. A fragile ceasefire has held since April 7th.

Now the region awaits word on whether a deal can be reached to extend it by 60 days. What's just a warranty on a set of speakers? While talks would be held on Iran's disputed nuclear problems. Isn't that what we've been talking about for months? Is that sound right? Isn't what all this negotiating has been about? Their program? We don't want them to have a program.

We want their dust. To me, it's all silly. You know how I think the world is a big play? Sometimes we're all players, you know, that hack said that Shakespeare or somebody. And I think this is silly. To think you're going to negotiate with these people who we literally have, said they're out of their minds. Every president for the last 60 years has said they're insane. And everybody who knows how they operate, they're insane. And you're negotiating with them.

And good faith. And that's silly. So I don't know. But I have this weird feeling that we don't, obviously they don't tell you the whole story. But I really do think there's that element of terrorism already in this country. And that would fuck up Trump. By the way, Trump has said, I don't give a shit. about the midterms. And I believe him. He's looking past. He's going to be gone in a couple of years. What happens when the Dems, if the

Dems, get back in the White House? They'll go and call Iran and go, you know what? We'll give you whatever you want, just like Obama did. And you keep people, not you people, but assholes on the left keep voting for them. Good. Vote for your own destruction. You fucking

watch your mouth. All right. Remains of the day is the head, was that the name of a movie? It was. Anthony Hopkins, I think. Remains of the day. What is it? Am I thinking leftovers?

Remains of the day. An attentive lift rider, this was pretty good by this lift rider, by the way, called the Philadelphia police after seeing a gray suitcase on the news that belonged to a woman rider who apologized for the smell.

He thought it was coming out. the suitcase. She goes, no, I just haven't washed between my legs forever. And then they went on a date. No, she said, she apologized for the smell of dirty wet clothing inside. And he said, you shit kicking, stinky horseman who's smelling motherfucker you? I thought he over here. Investigators now say 53 year old Eliza Ridley was transporting the remains of Vincent Good. in order to dump them off so she could cash in on his social security. This guy looks, this must have been before he was old and sick. Looks kind of normal.

I don't know. Looks like every cornerback of the Steelers. He said she carried a gray suitcase and left a fluid stain on the floor of his car. He tasted it and said, yeah, this is blood. That's what he said to the cops. she said, I should say. Prosecutors say that Ridley admitted to shooting good in the head

after the lift driver's tip led them to her door. Too lazy to make up a lie. Good's remains were found in the suitcase dumped at East Hilton Street in Kensington on May 20th. And I know what Kensington is, by the way, in Philly. It ain't a nice area. I think as you're leaving Philly,

you go onto this, they call the L, you know, the subways that run on the top. There's a fucking, there's a couple miles. You're looking, they're literally crack houses. You know what I'm talking about the, right? All the fucking fit-no zombies are on there. Yes. We've showed them on the show.

But I've played Philly a million times and left that, you know, your GPS. I got mine set for the fastest way. So they don't take into count your life. You want to go the fastest way? You got to go through the Congo. I get home 20 minutes quicker, but I have a point. Toysen dart stuck on my ass. And I have a necklace made of my own teeth.

A person searching for scrap metal first noticed the smell emitting from the suitcase, according to a statement from the Philadelphia District Attorney's Office. Police also found remains in two industrial-sized trash bags after investigating. Well, see, that one made sense to me, because I've done a million stories here where they find a whole body chopped up in a suitcase. And I'm like, how the fuck do you fit? Like I said, I packed for a long weekend. I got like four pair underwear bathing suit and a fucking, you know, cucumber.

Police sought help from the public and released a photo of the gray suitcase. A lift driver then contacted the police to tell them about, see how the internet can help you. Sometimes it's good when it's not hooking you up with an 11-year-old girl from Venezuela. To tell them about the strange interaction she had. with a woman transporting a suitcase with a strong foul odor on May 21st. She said the woman carried a gray suitcase and left a fluid

stain on the floor of her car, just like she said in the last paragraph. Fucking motherless whores. She also said that she believed she had driven the woman to Kensington. Astonishingly, she gave police a photograph of the woman. Turns out she looked just like

Esterol from Good Times, and they arrested some pig. That's the story, everybody. Good night. Police were able to identify the women as Liza Minnelli, I mean Liza Ridley, a registered home health aide for exceptional heart home care, sir. By the time you say that, the person you're trying to help dies of heart disease. Change the title, you dick wads. She had been hired to care for good and was also his girlfriend.

And I'll tell you how to thing. Frankly, you're beginning to smell. That was his, her last words to him. Investigators say Ridley had her 55-year-old sister, Bernadette Ridley. She's a dancer. No. Her 32-year-old daughter, Liza Robinson, and Liza's 30, they like the name. Liza's 33-year-old boyfriend, Ganesas and Daniels.

So she kept it all in the family. If you're going to murder somebody to do a felony, you want all your family in jail with you. They helped clean up the crime scene and disposed of evidence. Now, if my sister call, I'm like, fuck you, I ain't going to jail. Remember the time you rated on me for calling you the C-word when mom and dad were on vacation? It's a true story, brother.

Dad did not like that one. A couple of backhand is a right hook. Brandon Debt-Ridley is also a choosed of helping dismember goods body. Well, she's not lazy. I always, every time I hear dismember a body or somebody chops up a body, I don't know if you guys saw Donnie Brascoe, but there was a very, a very, disturbing scene in there let's take a look this is them cutting up a guy they killed ow that's gonna hurt yeah do what I got those are good boots guys you gotta sharpen

your shit before you plus the the guys you usually kill are Italian guys they have six inches of hair you gotta get through am I right legs look like steel wool pads um yeah I always laugh at that suitcase deal. I just don't, that's a great movie. I had the pleasure of interviewing Joe Pistone. The movie's called Donnie Brascoe, Johnny Depp played him. The guy infiltrated the mafia for like five years, four or five.

He literally had to become like a member and witness shit like that. But he couldn't participate in shit like that. Even when you're undercover and shit, you're not supposed to participate in shit. What are you going to go, no, there's a great scene that. You guys, if you haven't seen the movie, it's an excellent movie. Anne Hayes plays Johnny De, and she's really great, and she can't drive for shit, as you know. But it's a really good movie.

And there's, oh, what's his name? Who Died Recently, Michael Madsen. One of my favorite, he plays a real heavy. He's in, what was Tarantino's? Yes, thank you, Dallas. Reservoir Dogs. He's the one, you know. Remember playing, dancing to the music

before he starts torturing. the cop. He plays a great heavy and he plays a great heavy in Donnie Brasco. And I won't tell you this story again when I tried to help him bark out of my life. I told you. I already told you. I'm that old guy that

keeps repeating stories, but it's true. He gave off this kind of something tells me he's a bit of an asshole in real life or whatever. And I'll tell the story Eddie real quick. Coming out of a gym on Robertson in L.A.

And I see, I'm in the parking lot, did underground park lot, and I'm on foot. I see him trying to pull out of the power, pull out, but he can't tell if he's got Clarence or not. So I'm standing like five feet from, I go, you got like this much. And he looks at me like he wanted to fucking stab me in the face. Probably because he only had this much, and he knew I was trying to ruin his car. No, but he gave me a chill, man. He gave me that Donnie Brasco fucking, no. smile and nothing like I was annoying

you're gonna. Yeah, motherfucker, I'm glad you're gone. You're stinky. Anyways, watch that movie. You will fucking love it. And Al Pacino plays a guy down on his luck. Lefty Regerio who's based on a real guy.

I actually saw a picture of the real Regerio and he sort of looks like Pacino. Tremendous flick, I thought. What's the other great scene in that I'm forgetting to tell you about? Cutting up. the body. What's the other thing he had to fucking know? Oh, Japanese restaurant. He's got

he's wearing a wire. Joe Pistone, the guy that's undercover. Right? But he's with all the mob guys. They go to a Japanese restaurant. I don't know if this, they embellished the store, if this really had. I must have asked him. And when you go

to a Japanese restaurant, they make you take your shoes off. And he's got the wire like on his ankle in his boat. What a fucking tremendous scene that was. So Johnny Depp ends up almost beating the guy to death. Well, he started to, and the other guy's jumped in. Michael Madsen fucking beat the guy with inch of his life.

I got to find out. I got to AI that one. Anyways, I think I'm promoting it like I work for United Pictures of some fucking shit. Anyways, oh, I know how to lighten it up. We got one of our favorite new segments. We call it vaudeville, video of the day. And now for Nick's video of the day.

Ain't she cute? This Prateek Mohite, this guy, I wrote that. I'm making fun of how they write. I forgot the whole subject. Prateek Mohite is the shortest bodybuilder. in the world. Is it me or is any time somebody's the tiniest, they come out of India? Remember the woman? She's like a bowling trophy. It's always India.

Apparently it's not a lot of protein in maggots. Shortest bodybuilder in the world and I put, I wrote this, what a fucking asshole. Why would I do? I must have been in a good mood. If you don't believe me, we have footage of him being the smallest, tiniest, short. They say shortest. How about the fucking Schwarzenegger's

bicep was way more than that guy? Check him out, though. He's a hunk. You gotta get on that leg machine, dude. Not the ones that make them bigger, make them longer. You need a stretch rack. Did they have that at Planet Fitness? God gives him a nice physique

and then the legs of a frog. The fuck is. And why do they, Why does he get the thing over his dick? It is. There's no way to put it. Put it on you. Now than you hide your chest, I guess.

That looks silly, though. Probably get the, it would be funny. He's got the biggest cock for bodybuilders in the world. Go ahead. Let handsome flex. I love the music. We got more. Wait a minute.

That's faggot stuff. You want to call it by its name? That's strictly for fags. What's he doing? Look how little from the knees down to the ankle. It's like four inches. The rest of them's proportional, even his thighs. But then God got lazy or Buddha, whoever the fuck.

Guy shredded. That's good. Juice, he's juicing. Yeah, work on your legs. Anyways. Is that it? But you don't have opening? No.

But why not? Because this is the heavyweight division. You're a black fly division. When Prateek Vithal, Mohite, that's his full name, was born, his hands and feet were incredibly small. Hey, thanks for clarin that up. And doctors told his parents that he would not ever be able to walk or even move by himself.

And based on this video, they were right. That's not walking. That's waddling, as Dallas said. Get him some lower legs. And he would need constant help and support in life. See, that's right. I have to dump the kid in the dumpster.

I'm not very nice like that, but you know how I am. Everybody calls me a conservative. I'm like, really? Now an adult, he has just been named the world's choice bodybuilder and earned a... He's adult? He earned a spot in the Guinness Book. World Records at three feet, four inches.

But he can bench almost 40 pounds. It's a tremendous story out of Calcutta. What the fuck is going on in Cal? And every time there's a goat born with three heads and two dicks, it's India. Has anybody ever seen India and go, I want to go to vacation there. Because, I mean, it's like, there's probably a lot of history. And it's, ugh. There's, I used to.

walked by an Indian restaurant, me and Louis C.K. every night to go to the comedy cellar. You know? I think it opened while we were living there. And I never saw more than two people in there. And that was the people working there. You can get the shits anywhere. You have to go to an India

restaurant. Let's go to McDonald's right next to it. And you've got Tyrone, who just took a shit handed in your fries. Am I right, folks? Nick, that's racist. And that was Nick's video of the day. Paul is sporting bill.

Here's a story that made me angry. It started off nice. But just, it's just, it's an example of how the race issue in this country, which has been handled by the left. Well, why do you say that? Because you watch TV, you go to movies, they have you, and the Democrats,

have you convinced that you're the problem, the white people. White male patriarchy, you're racist, all that whole shit's been driven. They've driven that home so much that people, the lie became the truth. People actually believe that. And I'm talking about people I know who aren't that stupid. Apparently they are when it comes to that.

They have no, I noticed something, real liberal people on race. They never have an opinion that's based on their real life experiences. It's always what was drilled into their head in college. You got any thoughts on your own? You don't know anybody who's been mugged of whatever. the fuck. Yeah, but that doesn't shut up. Please, I don't want to hear it. This story sort of

embodies a little of that, the ending. Giant fans of Trump. Giant legends Lawrence Taylor and Otis O.J. Anderson tremendous running back. Waded in line for President Trump's autograph. We know that the L.T. Look at L.T.

Could play right now. It's a fucking badass, man. They waited in line for Trump, not at this rally. This is another, another. Don't expect Abdul Carter or the media to mention, mention it because that would destroy that Trump is racist narrative. The guy wrote this article, and he's right on the money with that. Black NFL icon supporting Trump is an inconvenient truth to the left.

Here's a video of these guys. Now, this is LT, and these guys are Hall of Famers. This was so humbling and refreshing to me. Because the athletes today, LeBron would cut. he'd run over an old lady to get to the fucking you know front of the line uh but check these guys are real trump fins this is trump media is this your first time you're ever waiting online for an autograph

of anyone first time ever first time ever l t second time who did you wait for the first time Santa Claus look at a serious look on his face Santa Claus was one and Trump is too Zinclair Lott's a job How about L.T.

He says it, and he has to let you know, I'm an intimidating motherfucker. I swear to God he was bothered by the question. That guy. Tom Brady and L.T. As far as the greatest players ever in my... When you're a defensive player and they have to fucking build the whole offensive scheme

around stopping you, and they did. People change their offenses. He was such... And my dad, again, I'm repeating myself. My dad would go, he has like four sacks in the first half. My dad's like, he's on drugs. And I get pissed.

I go, why do you have to say he's on fucking drugs? He's just a great football play. Two weeks later, he's cocaine in him. Not all the time. That guy was a badass. Anyways. Yeah, so. You know, is this an ad for McDonald's.

Why is this? even a story because Dart's teammate, Abdul Carter, is too ignorant. This is me talking, by the way, to realize not everyone thinks like he does when it comes to politics. What am I talking about? DART made a

surprise appearance at a Trump rally for rep Mike Lawler and Suffren New York on May 22nd. Speaking to the crowd, if you guys don't know, Jackson Dart is the fucking their rookie quarterback who's giving them hope, he's great. And, you know, white guy, of course, and

Mississippi, Ole Miss? Yeah, Ole Miss. And so he brought Trump up at a rally in upstate New York, introduced the president. While Dart only spoke for 30 seconds and didn't make any controversial comments, instead leading the crowd in a go big blue chant, his mere presence at the rally drew backlash, this is the guy who wrote Jeter, from plenty of NFL fans.

No, those are assholes. everything because of the left and because they own the media, whether it's internet, AI, TV, all the politics now bleeds into every aspect of life. It's bled into this before, I understand, with Colin Kaepernick and shit. Different story. I'm not going to go into, you know why it's different.

The giant's homes of New York and New Jersey both voted for Trump's opponent in each of the last three presidential elections. People wondered if, Dart's actions would have his teammates view him differently. Who gives a fuck what you think? Pass rusher Abdul Carter, who's a fucking tremendous ball player, but a moron as most NFL, yeah, you know what I'm saying.

Pass rusher, Abdul Carter, drafted on the same night as Dart in 2025, answered those questions quickly. When he called out his quarterback on X, And he put this when he heard about Jackson Dart interviewing, introducing Trump, thought this shit was AI. What we doing, man. First of all, here's a lesson, Abdul. If you want to, like, question somebody's politics,

first of all, don't sound like a fucking illiterate moron. What we doing, man. You're already proved you too dumb to have an argument and how ignorant you are. So according to this guy, there's something wrong with the black man mine. There's something wrong with it. According to this guy,

we're all supposed to be thinking politically like him. If not, he's totally confused. What we're doing? Doesn't realize people vote the other way. And you don't call out your teammate on a fucking huge platform. That's your quarterback. Because then people question.

So I'm watching it. and there was a press conference about it, and they're talking to him, of course, and he's like, no, we squashed it, we good, you know. We talked and they said, did he apologize to you? That's how fucking left and weak and what coward's white reporter.

It might have been a black reporter. It doesn't matter. The media asking him if Jackson Dart apologized to him and not the other way around. He's the one who owes Jackson Dart an apology. And he actually said, no, I don't want him to apologize. Believe what you believe.

Well, then shut up. If you believe that, everything out of your mouth is a fucking lie. If you believe that, you wouldn't have commented in the first place. And he'll be wearing that around his neck when he's playing, I guarantee. Fucking Mama Luke. What we're doing here? What we doing here saving the country from voters like you, that's what we doing. Tremendous ballplay.

And I believe they squashed it. They have to. But that's the part that may be nuts, a reporter going, did he apologize to you? Oh my God, how brainwashed and stupid are you people? Especially when it comes to race. Let's move on before I shit. Florida Sheriff's Deputy was stumped.

Florida's Sheriff's Deputy, a few months back pulled over a driver and proceeded to tell her that she was holding a phone with her right hand, that's in quotes, which would be a violation of, of the state's wireless communications while driving law. First of all, my problem with this story is, we're negotiating with Iran, 200 terrorists in this country,

we don't know where they fucking are, and you guys are practicing pulling over people for being on their phone. I don't get it. Only problem was the woman had no right hand, just a stump. I wrote that. And now I realize why I wrote that,

because in the raging bull, he's on stage, After his career's over, he's trying to do stand-up comedy. And he's, um, there's a comedian on before him, I think, right? Wasn't it like a guy like a Henny Youngman guy?

And he goes, no hand she had, just a stump. That's why I wrote that, I guess. Anyways, only problem was the woman had no right hand on it. Literally,

just a stump. Here's what transpired. We have it on a video. This is a black cop, by the way. Let's take a look. I know what I just said. I'm asking you now, did you, did you not have your phone on your hand? I did not. You did not have your phone on your hand.

I did not. Hand to God, you don't have funny hand. And to God. Pause. Hand to God. She raises her hand. That's a stump. I don't know if he can see it or not because he's standing up and the camera is at that level.

But he must have saw it. Yeah, because he mentions right. Is that? Go ahead. Let play it. The other hand is a guy. You don't have a point in your hands. Pause. He said the other hand, you had, um, the other hand, you had a phone.

He said the other hand, so he must have, so that was this. Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Anyway. You have your daughter. And here's some more. All right, man. So you're going to receive a citation for, uh, wireless communication device handheld while driving.

You can't, we got to put the phone down as we'll operate a motor vehicle. Oh, and you put on there that you saw me with my right hand holding. I did not put that. No, if you want to take it a call. But that's what you said. when you pulled me over, yes? That you saw me holding my device with my right hand. I'm not disagree with you.

Yes, that's what I said. So he didn't see it, or he's embarrassed and doesn't want to back out of it. I don't know. Either way, either way, I have a story about this too. I came home from college, and we went to a place called the Golden Banana. It's a strip joint in the town next to mine. and I went home with a stripper right

get her back to my apartment I don't know if I've ever told it I never told it on stage real Italian looking real pretty killer body naturally she's stripper we get in the house she takes her jackal she's got no hand I go that rules out the first move no ham just a stump she had and she did

I'm not fucking kidding you didn't bother me a bit I had her grease it up and stick her right in my eyes. Take it easy. It's a true story, though. I can't remember what I did with her. I'm sure it was fun. That's when I had a ton of confidence. You know, and by confidence, I mean six lines of coke. All right.

That's that. The motorists laughed and told the deputy, so obviously not when he asked about her right hand. The woman then asked the deputy, so you want to just call this a day? This wasn't on camera. She goes, so you want to just call this a day? But the deputy persisted, I don't want to call it a day. You had a hand, you had a hand up manipulating a phone. Oh, take it easy, Beretta. The woman argued back, you just said my right hand. The deputy replied that he thought he saw her right hand.

She then insisted, you didn't. And then held up around with no right hand and moved it closer to the open driver's side window. You didn't see me with my right hand, she added. Maybe this all was on camera. and they didn't show it online. The deputy persisted and asked the woman if she had a phone in her hand,

not specifying what hand. The woman posted the video of the traffic stop on TikTok and the TV station reported, as you can imagine, the station said the case drew widespread attention. What's more, the station said the civil penalty amount

that was $116. Can you imagine? This could have been a reverse the races. Can you imagine? Only would have been different. It would have been a black woman in the car and she would have had a stump leg because of diabetes.

You know, sugar foot. And he would have wrote her up with sugar foot. You can't be driving if you got sugarfoot doing a 60 miles an hour. And you're driving a standard which has three pedals and you get sugarfoot. Naturally the woman said she requested a herring date and planned to fight the citation in court

but it turns out that it wouldn't be necessary. WPEC said a herring had been scheduled for Tuesday of this week, meaning last week, but the hearing was canceled after the case was dropped. In fact, court records show the citation was dismissed at the request of the deputy who issued it. Because he was embarrassed, because he fucked up. I would like, but when you do a story like this,

and I know maybe you have limited time, but do a follow-up and ask him, why he insisted I just like to know the you know I mean the mentality why bitch black people hooting up with that shit all this time

finally tonight a little visual to make you laugh and cry I'm afraid of horses I'll tell you right now my wife bought her a horse and I don't understand it

I'd go up to the stables whether I'd see it a seven-year-old girl riding a horse going you know if that falls on her she's dead I don't get it. I sat at one for 10 minutes and I went, get me the fuck off this thing.

I could feel that he didn't like me or she, whatever it was. The feelings were mutual. I was pinching the ear of the horse. A horse and his sidekick, I call this story. This is the horrific moment a traveling head girl. We don't have those in comedy anymore.

We used to have them on the road, but then hashtag me too. now it's a you know it's a traveling hand girl if she's not a stripper from her via for a top of train let me start that over this horrific moment

a traveling head girl for a top train who was Kung Fu kicked by a racehorse in a shocking parade ring incident that's the first thing my wife taught me you don't stand behind the fucker I was tickling his ankles from behind

I said why no Richard Faye, he's loyal, stable worker, Chloe Briotti, was walking alongside's Kamako fever. Wait, is Kamako an Asian name? That explains the karate kick. Kamako fever ahead of a class six, seven furlong race for three-year-olds. That's horses, not kids. It's not an Epstein story.

The gelding, does that mean he can't fuck, or he had his dick cut off? I always go to Dallas, just because he grew up in Alist. Alabama like he's an expert on horses. The gelding, who was having the eighth run of his career and wore a number three cloth, initially appeared calm in a video of a world feed of the meeting shared widely on social media. However, it was Chloe, walked in from the side that Kamako Fever put all his weight on his front legs and kicked his hind ones out with tremendous, they asked him why.

Hello. I'm Mr. Redd. A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and no one can talk to a horse. So that was his excuse. He's a horse, of course. Let's take a look at the videotape that I love so much. Oh my gosh. And they said, you just said, that's a tough branch yet, but that's what I'm talking about.

As a report on, oh, I saw videos. There's a video online, whatever, it's been on forever, but horses just kicking people. and like a little girl trying to on a stool, just fucking, I don't know how if she's alive. And then what, was it a crocodile came out at a horse and he just stomped the shit out of it?

Fucking badass. As a report on racing's TV's live coverage at the time, the screens were put up around Chloe as medical professionals helped put her head back on. She was taken to a hospital for checks, but Miraxley escaped the terrifying ordeal with just a few bumps.

those were her tits. The horse was perfectly fine as well and went on to finish 11. Who cares? What a stupid sentence? Really? The horse, the 2,000-pound horse that knocked the lady 11 feet in the air was fine?

It went on to finish 11th out of 13 runners having been sent off 9 to 2 under 5-pound clamor jockey, Ethan Tyndall, whatever the fuck that means. A 5-pound jockey, Does he know the bodybuilder from Calcutta? A couple of midgets can hang out and do nothing. All right, that's the show today.

Don't forget Cameo.com. If you'd like me to roast a friend or a relative, you know, mini roast, a couple of zing zangs. Go to click on the profile and that'll tell you how to do it. You guys think it, I'll say it. You are very welcome. We'll see you back here at the same time tomorrow. Have a good rest of the day. Take care.

Hi. Good night, everybody.