The Nick DiPaolo Show - Pocahontas, a Pandering Peon #176

Episode Date: June 3, 2019

Steve Sweeney Joins The Show!  Lying Liz Lashes Out!  Bitch Bashes Bullying! 

🎵 Oh yeah, welcome ladies and gentlemen. On Monday, June what? 3rd? June 3. Georgia. Get in the car, it's what? 10 o'clock 88 degrees oh beautiful go up to Boston this weekend

to visit the family they're getting ear muffs and fucking snorkel jackets what a bunch of pussies I'm out there with no shirt on just cooling down from a week down here

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It's like having a glass of wine. So it's really good stuff. We thank them for sponsoring the show. I just want to read some quick comments about Breath of Fresh Air. I think it's up to 22 to 1, positive to negative comments. It's a real barometer for how sick people are of

PC comedy and stuff like that. We pulled a few comments, and there was a thousand of them, just like this. But Force Ghost Burt Reynolds says, Feel like I'm time travel back to before comedy was neutered. Mark J. says, One of the best comedy specials I've seen in years. You drove a stake through the heart of political correctness.

That would have made Sam Kinison proud. It would have. Who is one of my favorites, by the way? Awake America. This is by far the best stand-up I've heard ever. Laughed harder than I have in a long time. Absolutely amazing. Crazy drummer.

Nine, nine, nine, nine, nine. Nick is so great for doing this, not only for having the balls to release a free special, but for having the balls to say what he's thinking, even if people don't disagree. That's the whole idea of comedy, in my opinion, in most real comics. You don't look for the crowd to agree with you. You don't even write your act to hope they laugh at it. You do what you believe, and hopefully they find it funny. But you always get these people like, you know, I disagree with your politics 100%,

but I love your comedy. And it's like, well, you're not supposed to agree with anybody 100%. You know, we're supposed to go to that uncomfortable place. There's all kinds of comedy. It doesn't have to be. I'm just saying. The responses are still overwhelming. It's almost 430,000 views. Breath of fresh air. Go get it. Later in the show, Steve Sweeney, if you like my comedy and you love Breath of Fresh Air, Steve Sweeney is a legend in Boston comedy. Joe Rogan just had him on. Billy Burr had him on.

Because he inspired all of us. This guy's been doing it forever. He's got a movie called Sweeney Killing Sweeney, which I'm in. I shot last October or two Octobers ago. And it's killer. The Farrelly brothers are involved in it. So the second half of the show will be my interview with him. He's a very interesting, crazy dude, and we owe a lot to that guy.

Cameo, we have a promo code for Cameo. What is it? Daddy's Day? Oh, it's right here. 10% off your Father's Day if you book a Cameo. 10% off Daddy's Day is the code you use uh and that's it had a great weekend sold out 350 seats at whites of westport and the same the night before gunk went there might have been one table of eight empty in the back you know just overwhelming success and and both killer

shows and i thank tommy nicky uh who's a genius at this. Let's get right to it. Oh, what do we got here? We got Pocahontas. Pocahontas went into a black radio station. When you've got a panda to black people, you don't go to a morning black radio show expecting you're going to get an easy interview. It's what I like about black dudes, especially who finally get somebody as powerful as Lizzie Ward. What's her name? I almost said Lizzie. Lizzie Warren in front of her.

And, of course, she's out there doing what all the Dems are. She's sucking black ass to, you know, to get that vote. I don't understand. They make up a total of 13 percent of the population, about 3 percent of those vote. a total of 13% of the population, about 3% of those vote. I never understood. If you got 1% of white voters, it would be 65 times more people. But she has to pander.

That's what they do because they care so much about minorities and LGB. She's such a phony fuck. But she went into the Breakfast club and uh i i you know a couple of dudes every time breakfast club is a black radio show and they have uh like a morning show but it is a black girl who every time she said something the black guys would just talk over her like sex pigs that was the most interesting part to me but let's watch uh pocahontas you know do what they all do um you know prove do what they all do. You know, they have to prove their street credit. It's so important.

Listen to the tone of her stupid voice. And I just like to stick my thumbs in her big giant Adam's apple. Oh, Nick, cut it out. I want to see us get rid of the student loan debt and make an investment in the historically black colleges and universities. I want to see us in housing. Hit redlining head on. I've got the first housing proposal to just smack straight into that. I want to see us in health care. You know what? That's called bean counting.

She wants to do what Obama was doing in Holder, like my town up in Westchester, where I used to live. They literally look at it and go, there's way too many white people. And then they automatically assume that it's discrimination and it's 1958, which the truth of the matter is, anybody can live there. And, you know, redlining. Listen to the tone of her voice.

Black colleges, yeah, we've ignored them for so long. How about the fact they're all black colleges in a world where you say diversity is so important? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It's just so important. You think it was 1955 when you listen to her, but look at her veiny hands. Go ahead. Here.

Address health care disparities and particularly maternal mortality rates for black women. Pause. Oh, for black women. Pause. Oh, fuck white women mortality rate, or Hispanic or Asian. Well, why don't you address abortion that you love so much? More black babies were aborted in New York City than born last year.

Are you going to hit that head on with your red line, Pocahontas? You're all pro-abortion and shit, but can you imagine saying that? I want to address it in the white communities where, you know. Oh, the pandering is just, go ahead.

That's serious problems. I've seen you talk about reparations as well. Yeah. To what your family tells you with Native Americans. The girl brings up reparations. The guys jump right in. Jesus Christ, who's the guy on the right? It's fucking Bin Laden's fucking youngest son, Kevin Bin Laden. What is he?

There's another black dude in there who I love. He cuts to the chase the way you're supposed to, like me and Patrice. Or me and Keith Robinson would get together. And no bullshit. Cut right to the heart of the matter. Watch her sweat her little Indian ass off. Yeah. Charlamagne tells me I'm Dominican, but I don't believe it.

You are. How long did you hold on to that? Because there was some report that said you were Native American on your Texas bar license and that you said you were Native American on some documents when you were a professor at Harvard. Why'd you do that? You know, that's, like I said, it's what I learned from my family. Oh, blame your parents.

When did you find out you weren't? When I tasted corn and spit it out. I'm not a person of color. Pause. You're not? I thought you were fucking Ella Fitzgerald listening to you and looking at you. Can you imagine,

I'm not a person of color. You used it, it helped you at Harvard. She's going to lie about that too. looking at you. Can you imagine I'm not a person of color? You used it. It helped you at Harvard. She's going to lie about that, too. Look at him. I love this dude. He ain't having any of it. Go ahead. Citizen of a tribe. And tribal citizenship is an important distinction. That's for Jewish people. And not something I am.

You're not part of a tribe? Were there any benefits to that? No. Boston Globe did a full investigation. Pause that? No. Boston Globe did a full investigation. Oh, the Boston Globe did a full investigation. That's like saying Salon.com did a fucking love letter to me. Oh, the Boston Globe didn't find a benefit to you. You lying, skinny, titless wonder. Next.

Affected nothing about my family ever affected any job I ever got. Fucking liar. she didn't get a discount in college kind of like the original rachel dole a little bit rachel dole's white woman pretending to be black she didn't even know who this is rachel dole as i remember her up on cl washington she was a white woman pretending to be she headed up the n double a c chad liz warren didn't even know who she was from my reaction. I love this guy. He's cutting right to the chase.

He could have just come out and said, you've been phony about a lot of shit, huh, Blondie? Look at his brow. Look at his furrow. He wants to headbutt her into next week. Go ahead. My family. Yeah. What about the dreamers out there?

You know, as you see your president is locking them up and sending them back. What do you say to the dreamers? What's your plan for the dreamers out there? As you see your president is locking them up and sending them back. What do you say to the dreamers? What's your plan for the dreamers? I'm so happy to see all these kids that are dying. He said he's the president. They talk over her again. All these kids that are dying. Look how brainwashed this poor girl is.

All these kids that are dying. Four or five died in custody. They show up with diseases. it's, you know, it's the U.S. Border Patrol's fault. It's racism. It's breakfast club. Fucking lion club. There's a whole fucking table of liars. This poor girl can't get a word in, though. Watch.

Yeah, thanks. Yeah, try me. I got that. I got that. I got that. Not going there. You know this fear that's being instilled in people that aren't familiar with people of other races and other religions, and people just have this fear of something that's different. Pause.

What the fuck? See, she swallowed eight years of Obama's horseshit. White people, you guys, you fear of stuff that's different. Yes, you guys just showed up yesterday, black and brown people, and that's not what we fear. We fear disease. We fear MS-13 pouring over. Jesus. No wonder why they keep talking over this girl.

She's semi-retarded. Go ahead. What's the plan for the dreamers? So, we need a comprehensive plan here. But for me, it's we've got to protect the Dreamers, and they've got to have a path to citizenship, and you don't break up their families. But it's also true for the people who are here. How about the – and she's not talking about American citizens. She's talking about people that are already here.

Doesn't give a fuck about U.S. citizens. That should be your first answer. Yes, we care about dreamers, blah, blah, blah. They had no choice in coming here. The parents brought them here illegally. By the way, Trump, remember, he was going to make a deal. What was it? 800 million. He gave a bigger number and they turned that down because of Trump derangements. She doesn't mention U.S. citizens once. I got a dad who has Alzheimer's trying to get him on Medicare. It's almost impossible. Thank God my brother's a genius jumping through thousands of hoops. But if he snuck in, we should throw my father over the fence right now.

Have him land on the San Diego side and he could get Medicaid instantly. You fuck. Go ahead. Aren't citizens. We got to find a path to citizenship. This makes no sense at all. And we are a country for which immigration is not our weakness. It's our strength.

Fuzz. No shit. We all know that. Illegal immigration. I love how they just combine those two. Trump still wants immigrants coming. What's your name, Lizzie? He's been saying it.

He said it last week on a merit-based system. She doesn't bring it up. The Breakfast Club doesn't bring it up. How about getting the best and brightest in here? Since all the jobs are going to be fucking automated, artificial intelligence, all that. They're already losing jobs of people of all colors. But you keep opening the gates, bringing in people, putting them on the government dole, let them suck on the government tit, and the American taxpayer can pay for it all.

Yeah. Go ahead. This is one of those countries. This country is based on. Yeah. And it's a part of how we build on our differences. You know, I think of it as if everybody is the same, you miss a lot. Right.

Right. Right. Said the black girl who works at an all black radio station, but probably hasn't hung out with a white person voluntarily for 100 years. Yes, we all. It gets boring if everybody is the same and blah, blah. It's the same. She's just a walk and bump a sticker. She's not even going to be relevant

by the time November rolls. Go ahead. You miss a lot, and this is a chance every time. The people who come here, whether it's come here fleeing for their lives or come here to try to build something better economically, that's part of what makes us stronger.

I went down to the border. It's been, what, probably about a year ago. Of what, New Jersey and New York? When it first came out about separating mamas from their babies. Yeah, that happened during Obama. Picture an Amazon warehouse. Only it's dirty and it smelled bad. Sort of like your living room.

I walk in and on the left it's cage after cage after cage. Pause. A couple years ago the internet, somebody put out a right wing troll put out pictures, remember? Of people in cages and everybody's like, Trump is a fucking animal. Look, he's got kids in cages. And it was from the

Obama thing. They're pretending not to know that. Go ahead. About 10 feet wide, about 40 feet deep, toilet back in the corner, and they're just jammed one after another. Sounds like a prison in L.A. County. Then you walk into the main space. Big, beautiful living room. Flat screen TV. Guatemalan kids watching the TV. And then another

three standing little boys. I talked to the place where the nursing mamas were. And I talked to this one woman and she said that she had given a drink of water to a police officer

and somebody had seen it and reported to the gangs that she was helping the cops yeah and they gave the word back to her that someone had told this and she said i knew that i'd be killed and she wraps up her baby in the middle of the night and they put her on a plane first class. She's making me sick to my stomach. Nice touching story. How about the kids that showed up very sick and diseased that we took care of?

How about that's not what the Border Patrol's job is? How about with the most welcoming country on the face of the planet who treats U.S. citizens like dog shit? That's what I got from that. Good luck, though. Good luck with that. We already know you're a liar about your ethnicity and stuff. Although the Boston Globe backed up.

I don't like you, Lizzie. Liar. Liar. Whore. Liar. Whore. You know it. All right.

What's going on? Real quickly. Trump is going to visit the Queen of England. It's not political. It's like a state, you know, they're going to welcome him. I wonder if they'll have the big balloon of him in a diaper and shit. And by the way, I didn't, I didn't, Jace, I didn't give you the picture. Trump's got a new hairdo.

He slicked it back like Gordon Gekko. Apparently he's trying to fuck the queen. He's like, look, bitch, I slicked his back like Gordon Gekko. Greed is good. Anyways, he went out. Yeah, he's over in England this weekend. And of course, you know, Sadiq Khan is the mayor of London and he's doing a horseshit job. And he actually trashed Trump in a left-wing paper, The Observer, I guess it was last Sunday, writing the day before the state visit was due to begin, Khan compared Trump to the most fascist and authoritarian leaders of the past century. Just another shithead.

Fuck you! Fuck you! Replying in kind, Mr. Trump pointed to Khan's poor record as mayor, which has seen crime, particularly violent crime and murder, soar, and suggested the Labour Party politicians spend more time doing his job properly rather than attacking the leaders of key British allies. The president also said the mayor had been foolish, was a stone-cold loser. Durka, Durka, Muhammad Jihad. Haka Sherpa Sherpa.

And was much like the very dumb and incompetent New York Mayor de Blasio. That's an insult to Khan as much as I hate him. De Blasio makes Khan look like a right winger, okay? So, by all accounts, has done a terrible job as mayor. And been foolishly nasty to the visiting president of the U.S. By far the most important ally of the U.K. He's a stone cold loser who should focus on crime and law. I love this crazy motherfucker. father most important ally of the UK. He's a stone cold loser who should focus on crime in London.

I love this crazy motherfucker. Anyways, President Trump landed Monday in London in which officials figures show it's less safe London is and more plagued by violent crime now than when Mayor Kahn took office. Really? Another far wing left guy shitty at governing?

Surprise, surprise. According to the review of police and other figures under Mayor Kahn, knife crime. They're going backwards. Knife crime. And pitchfork crime is up. Butter knife crime and hand grenade tossing. Knife crime is up, and butter knife crime, and hand grenade tossing, and knife crimes up by 52%, robbery by 59%, gun crime by 30%, perhaps most damningly, homicides have risen by 24%, and now we're at the highest over a decade. Sounds like Baltimore and St. Louis.

You ought to come over here. You'd win hands down. Khan also grabbed negative headlines in 2016 when in response to a terror attack, listen to what he said. He responded casually that terror is, and I quote, part and parcel of living in a great global city is you've got to be prepared for these things. You've got to be vigilant. Actually accepting it.

There's the difference between our country, at least for another few years, and places over there, even our ally, the UK. They have no go zones. They're just too chicken to defend their own culture. And they elect a guy named Khan. How did they win Brexit when people elected a guy like Khan? I don't even fucking, I don't understand. Despite crime rising at a rate out of all proportion with the rest of the country,

Mayor Kahn denies responsibility, just like de Blasio would. Blame central government for the criminal surge in his city. British Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt welcomed President Trump off Air Force One, appearing to lay the blame at Kahn's door. Hunt said the elected mayor of London has made some pretty choice insults about Donald Trump, and all I would say is the spat started because the mayor of London

and other people in the Labour Party decided to boycott this visit, and I think that is just totally, totally inappropriate. For the Labour Party to be boycotting this visit on the grounds of sexism and racism on a day where their candidate in the Peterborough election is being accused of liking an anti-Semitic post on Facebook.

When they are being accused of turning a blind eye to the terrible behavior in the Labor Party headquarters. This is about virtue signaling on Labor's behalf. This isn't about any position of principle at all. position of uh principle at all khan also likened trump to the 1930s dictators 70s military junters putin kim jong-un you sure this wasn't rachel manno or fucking uh wolf blitzer are you sure you're talking and said it was un-british to offer a welcome to what he called the global threat president of the united states mayor k, you are a total fucking failure. Trump didn't have to tell you that. Your people know.

But they're afraid if they didn't vote you in, they would be labeled bigoted and racist because it is the home of white people, the home of the motherland, the UK, which I just like Trump, that he goes after people and punches back. I'm petty like that myself. I get into it with a goddamn JetBlue

flight attendant real quick. She was a gay woman older, which has nothing to do with it. Again, looked like me. Had a nice tan, gray hair. And the plane was delayed almost three hours, leaving Savannah. I can't catch a break lately. And I'm getting fidgety. I go, can I have a drink? Can I? And she goes, I can't sell alcohol. We're on the ground. And I said, really? When we need it most, you can't sell alcohol? And then she hits me with a Helen Keller quote. She saw I was getting fidgety sitting in my seat. She goes, listen, Helen Keller said, and I have no idea what it had to do with me complaining about them.

She goes, Helen Keller said that life is a daring journey. If it isn't, it's nothing at all. And I'm like, yeah, well, for Helen Keller, walking from is a daring journey. If it isn't, it's nothing at all. And I'm like, yeah, well, for Helen Keller, walking from the living room to the kitchen was a daring journey. If you're going to wax philosophical about life, why don't you quote somebody whose life isn't in jeopardy when they approach a staircase to try to deep fry a turkey? She actually showed me the quote on her iPad and shit. Only i could get into it with him i tried to be nice let's get to the hillary clinton hillary clinton to serve as keynote speaker at what at what folks at cyber defense fucking summit why is that so ironic well she knows so much about cyber defense.

Remember Podesta who helped run her campaign? Remember? His password was password123 or some shit. Let's get an opinion from that group. Can you imagine? Of course she's doing it because she's still blaming the cyber attacks and her losing. So, yeah, she's going to be the keynote speaker at the summit in 2019. The cybersecurity company FireEye announced that on Thursday.

FireEye's website touted its informative, insightful keynotes from industry thought leaders. Oh, yeah, she's right on top of it. Take this opportunity, share best practices, learn about the latest events, and enhance your cyber preparedness. Anyways, here's Hillary at the side. What, like with a cloth or something? Well, no.

I don't know how it works digitally at all. Oh, okay. Okay, okay. What? Who better to speak? Who better to speak about cyber security? Do you guys see the irony in that? I mean, it gives her a chance to blame the Russians again. The event's designed to inform executives on cyber security as well as security practitioners on how to mitigate, detect, and respond to cyber attacks.

She says, I think it's also critical to understand that as I've been telling candidates who have come to see me, you can run the best campaign. This is from a while ago. You can even become the nominee, and you can have the election stolen from you. She said that at an event in May. She's a malignant cunt. Amen to that. Do you remember what they did?

Do you remember why this is so funny? Her idea of cybersecurity is taking the cell phones. She was talking with classified and smashing them with a she had a guy smash her phones with a hammer, literally. And then, you know, she bleach bidded all the email stuff. And but let's listen to her. And, you know, somebody was calling the shots of the DNC who have even admitted since then they know nothing about it. They actually gave the Republicans a thumbs up saying, this is a couple weeks of the day ahead of us as far as cybersecurity still. I think, you know, she's perfect for this.

She and her team face suspicions of trying to conceal evidence well after she scrubbed her server. And we know all that. So it's absolutely ridiculous that she's the... It's like putting Iran, the UN put Iran on the human rights fucking... It's like going to the Milwaukee Brewers CEO and asking, how do we put together a winning organization? That type of shit. She also did a commencement speech this weekend at Hunter College,

where Colin Quinn shot a special, I believe. She did a commencement speech, and of course, she's supposed to be there to talk about the kids and their future, but she used that as a platform to take swipes at Trump. Here you go. No mistake. We are witnessing an assault on the rule of law and the foundations of our democracy.

Pause. Yes, we are. Yes, we are. And we're going to get to the bottom of it, about you and the DNC conspiring to spy on a citizen, Donald Trump, when he was running for president. Don't you talk about the assault on the laws and rules of democracy. You are a fucking weasel. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt.

I get that speaking cunt. She's cunt. It ain't true, but it is what you do, motherfucking cunt. Go ahead. Go ahead. The special counsel, Robert Mueller, who said there were multiple systemic efforts to interfere in our election. And that allegation deserves the attention of every American. Look at the people behind her.

They weren't even, they're bored with it. These are her fans. Did you see the looks on the kids' faces? You're here to talk about our future. This isn't a political speech, you fucking hack. Go away. I can't wait till I put on CNN one morning and there's a house and a pair of red ruby slippers sticking out of the foundation.

Look at, they are sick of it. These young girls, by the way, they don't even like her. They don't see her as a feminist. They see her as somebody who blew a guy who was very smart and hooked up with him at Yale and fucking was dragged, you know, up the ladder by a man. Do you see any

happy faces back there? I see a girl in the corner's actually shooting heroin. Ah, I can't take it. Go ahead. That's enough of that horse poo-poo. But she's all over the place. Real quick, folks, nickdip.com. Like I said, this weekend was a smashing success, thanks to my fans.

And I had a great time. Dates, you can get them at nickdip.com. But let me read them for people who are just listening to the audio. This Thursday night, that's right, I've got to get back on a plane again. I didn't get into showbiz to work. This Tommy guy is a real ball buster, I'll tell you. Friday and Saturday, August 16th and 17th, Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia. Thursday, October 10th, Levity Live in Nyack, New York. Friday, November 15th, the Cortland Repertory Theater, Cortland, New York. Saturday, November 16th, Comedy Works, Saratoga Springs, New York. New Year's Eve, Tarrytown Music Hall.

That's a great gig. Cannot wait. That's Tarrytown, New York. We've moved the Ridgefield Playhouse date. It's now January 24th of 2020. Ridgefield Playhouse. What? What's the matter?

The whole 2020 thing freaks me out. Does it? You're a young kid. Think about how it freaks me out. I remember being at a New Year's Eve party in high school. I am not shitting you. That's, let me see. I was in high school in 1980, so I would have been 18.

And I'm going, hmm, doing math in my head. When the year 2000, new millennium comes, I'm going to be 38 years old. We're fucking almost 20 years past that. What's it all mean, folks? God, tell me why I'm here. How did i end up in the fucking anyways real quick before i get to the steve sweeney interview which you guys are going to absolutely love real quick i had super chat uh james shea said uh nick for president 2024 i'd do that but i'm busy I have a couple gigs in Vermont. Romy426 said, from DiGiovanni to DiPaolo, thanks for what you do.

Amazing content. Grazie. Grazie. I get a lot of help. I get good people around me, and I'm interested in this shit. Try to keep it entertaining. Keep it funny. We don't want to get too preachy on the show, but the Dems are making it very hard with their retarded behavior. We got two show comments from your whites performance.

Morse Code Bear said, was the 80-year-old WAP at whites a generous lover? Oh, there was a handsome, no, there was a handsome, there was an old guy at the front table, right? He must have looked 65, 68. Guy was 81. He had less wrinkles. I'm not shitting you. No face work.

Just that greasy olive oil skin. Thick head of white hair. And I'm like, he's 81. And he's with, I go, is that your wife? She goes, I'm his girlfriend. I go, ah. I go, how old are you? She's like 80.

I go, see, young pussy keeps you looking young. And anything else? We got Mike Ross. He said, great show Saturday night. And then I got two from Bullet Shepard. He said, headline Trump goes 1776 on Islamo Red Code Con. And he also said Hillary is. I don't know what any of that means.

What the fuck does that mean? It was poetic. It was poetic. Thank you. And then Hillary is to what cyber. Hillary to cybersecurity is what Skynet is to robots. That's a Terminator thing. Okay.

There you go. Again, guys, I'm 57. If I can lay something on me from The Godfather 2, I'll get it. Or Porky's. But thank you, guys. Super chats. Rich, write those down, please. Jason, make a mental note.

All righty. Let's show one more thing. Kamala Harris, Kamala they call call her i don't know why uh she was uh giving a speech on uh oh gender pay gap are we still keeping that myth alive gender pay look when you just take women's jobs versus men's jobs there is a gap but when you figure in stuff that's kind of important like um education years at the job, blah, blah, blah, the women actually come out a couple cents ahead. How many times are we going to keep this myth alive?

But what happens is she's speaking about this, and then some environmental fucking animal-loving wacko lefty, looks like a young George Carlin, puts in his two cents. Your first big idea on the gender pay gap. Not everyone works for a corporation. And a big... Hey, hey, hey! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Hi, hi, hi!

Hi, hi! Good evening, sir. Good security. Thank you so much, sir, for your big idea. But we want to make sure that we are able to get through this. Get through this. Hi, hi. Somebody charges the stage could actually shot a stab.

Then their response is, hi, who's in charge of security? Hillary. Hi. Hi. You hear that hear cut my head off? Hi. And he was a dick, too. I don't condone this on either side, but it does feel good, I admit, to see somebody doing it to a lefty. At least she didn't get hit in the face with a fucking milkshake or, you know, a battery pie or whatever. Big ideas for him. Interrupted. Guy jumped on stage. The guy says, I'm asking for your attention for a much bigger idea.

His last name was Cook. Set into the microphone before it was taken from him. Event staff, along with Harris' husband, Douglas Emhoff. He didn't jump in too quick. Eventually removed Cook from the stage. Yeah, he was, you know, Cook was not arrested or charged with a quick. Eventually you move Cook from the stage. Yeah, he was a, you know, Cook was not arrested or charged with a crime. There you go.

Don't arrest him or charge him with a crime. You wonder why it's going to happen again? Why not give him a blue ribbon or a trophy for having some balls to pull? Of course, this is Rolling Stone magazine and what's their big take? But he was a dope, the kid. Like I said, I'm not condoning.

I'm a fucking idiot. That was his quote after the oh don't go too hard on yourself there fella when the guardians lois beckett asked whether cook had considered the optics of literally taking the microphone away from a woman of color it's all right to do it if a young black girl pulls it out of bernie sanders hand or or that's all fine and good. But to take the voice away from a black woman, because they never get to speak in our society.

I mean, they're silent. Hello, Stacey Abrams. He says, I did. I tried to show my profound respect for each of the people on stage. And the guy writing the article goes, sorry, dude dude but no you a white male can't say you're showing

respect when you are literally stealing the microphone from a woman of color who's talking about gender discrimination to mansplain animal rights to her that's how that's how they see it at the Rolling Stone you know the magazine that put out the whole fake rape

story at the fraternity in Virginia. And that's how they see it. Not that she could have been in danger and shit. Again, a woman of color is just a fucking victim. And it's the white males that are the problem. Oh, my aching stem. It's all right to do it to other people. Okay.

That's enough of that shit. Speaking of white males, privileged and crazy, I started comedy in Boston. You guys know I'm from that area. And the reason I did is I wandered into Boston in high school on a hot summer night. Saw a guy named Steve Sweeney on stage at Stitch's Comedy Club, who absolutely was the king of Boston comedy. And as funny as anybody, everything you want in a comic, little nuts, liked his booze, liked his drugs.

I mean, he does a lot of local stuff, but I've never seen a guy kill like this. He inspired Louis C.K. He inspired Billy Berg, Joey Rogan, Dane Cook, all of us. Him and Lenny Clark and a few other guys, but Steve was the king. He finally got a break. We shot a movie called Sweeney Killing Sweeney, and it's a great flick. I suggest you guys check it out. Here's my interview with Steve.

We'll run about, it's about a half hour, and I absolutely love this guy, and I thank him for helping me choose his profession, I think. Here you go, Steve Sweeney. So right now, ladies and gentlemen, if you're a fan of Louis C.K., Billy Bird, Joe Rogan, myself, Dennis Leary, this guy was our inspiration, Mr. Steve Sweeney, the godfather of Boston comedy. He's the reason we all got into it. I've never seen a guy kill harder in my life to this day when I first walked into

Stitch's Comedy Club. He has a movie that the Farrelly brothers are involved in that's out. It's already out. Sweeney killing Sweeney. Please welcome a legend. Not just a Boston legend.

Not just a Boston legend. A comedy legend, Steve Sweeney. Stevie boy, what's going on? Listen, I got to tell you, I've actually done all of you guys' podcasts. I didn't even know what it was, a podcast. You know, it's something to do with a pond or whatever. But I got to tell you, I am so proud of you because, you know, it's a weird thing when I meet guys that know you, Nick. Yes, sir. They try to be you.

Like, I'll say, if they're Jewish, I'm a friend of Nick DiPaolo's. And I say, yeah, Nick's a great guy. And then they'll go, he's a fucking asshole, you know, because they know you. And they're trying to be funny, but they're not you. It's like Nick without the humor. Yeah, I don't see that story helping this show at all. But, you know. Well, whatever I can do to.

All right, let me. If you're a white guy and you're defending, you know. No, this is all your friends on the North Shore. They talk like you. Yeah, I'm a fucking. They're fucking assholes, okay? They're fucking living with their parents. They have the balls to go out on their own.

So they can, you know, they can kiss my ass. They love you, but they don't know how to say it. I love you, and I know how to say it. Exactly right. Steve, I told this, we tried to do this, and we had some technical problems before. But I got to tell this story. I was a barback at Stitch's Comedy Club in Boston. First of all, my buddy Murph calls me.

We were still in high school. He said, let's go into the city and see Steve Sweeney. You were big on radio doing Mayor Flynn and stuff. We went on a hot summer night at the Stitches, and it was your show, and we were just blown away. You actually picked on me. I was sitting in the audience. You're like, look at this pretty fucking

boy. You made some Italian reference and I just sat there scared as shit. But I left that night going oh my god. I said this is the funniest person I've ever seen and I wanted to do it. Went to college, came home, had a day job, still wanted to pursue comedy. Eventually

did an open mic. I was walking down the street on St. Patrick's Day. I still wasn't a comic guy. I was a barback. I'm thinking about Steve Sweeney. I'm drunk. I got lost on the T. I was over on Huntington Avenue.

I'm thinking about Steve Sweeney because I want to get into a comic. Literally thinking about him. Who comes wandering out of a bar, which I know that doesn't sound that unusual, a guy named Sweeney and Boston coming out of a bar in St. Patrick's. Right. But you literally come out on the sidewalk. We bump into each other. It was like if you wanted to be a baseball player, Ted Williams showed up.

It was the oddest thing. I don't know if I believe in God or not, but that's one of the times I'm like, oh, my God, this might be meant to be. And we went in. You bought me a Guinness beer. He swore that. It was unbelievable. You know what, Nickness beer. He swore that. And it was unbelievable. You know what, Nick?

I always remembered you for two reasons. You're a very funny guy. You're a good guy. But you're also a great audience. And like comedians, we love people that laugh at us, right? That's exactly right. No, but I suspect underneath, because I've been on your other show when you were on that other thing. I suspect underneath, because I've been on your other show when you were on that other thing.

I suspect underneath this very masculine, beautiful exterior, if I could say that, is a very sensitive, not exactly feminine, but something underneath. I'll show you what I'm wearing underneath these jeans. Can I try a concept out on you? Go ahead, Dr. Sweeney. I don't know about you, but I'm overly sensitive. I take everything the wrong way. Me too.

Me too. Thin-skinned. Thin-skinned, but that has given me the ability to, like, come back at people. You know what I mean? You just hit it on the head. I've thought this in my head a million times when people ask me about being a comic, and it's exactly right, because your radar is always up.

You're almost a little paranoid. Absolutely. And you do, I'll tend to take stuff wrong. Even when I look on Twitter real quick, I'll jump down somebody's throat and realizing that they were actually agreeing with my point. They were agreeing with you and they were saying something nice. I go into a gig and Joe, who Joe's a fantastic guy, Joe Rogan.

But he kind of took issue with what I said. But sometimes this can be a humiliating job. Sure. And it hasn't been for me for a lot of years. But during the beginning, when it was humiliating, Bachelor parties where they collect the money after you're done. And just one horror show after another, playing for rock bands and people throwing shit. There's something that goes off in my head. Like the other day I did a gig for a benefit. I didn't know who anybody there.

And the thing goes off right in my head. This is going to suck. As soon as I walk in, this is going to suck. That's to make you a comedian. Isn't that true? And then once you get into it, it's great. It's always fine. But you're always waiting for, well, that's what I do.

I always think the worst. So when it's not the worst, I'm pleasantly surprised. That's just being a realist. I am so negative, Steve. I was voted. This is what my friends say. Yeah, he's an asshole. I was voted class pessimist my senior year in high school.

Is that true? Yes. It's a pearl that they made up for me in the yearbook, class fucking pessimist. By the way, that microphone is the biggest microphone I've ever seen. I know, but this is what we. It's like you're talking to something from Star Wars, one of the fucking characters. This is a... What is that, a thermos?

This is a Larry King microphone. Hey, listen, this is what we got. We don't want to go through what we went through the last time, right? No, this is beautiful. It's a great setup. I appreciate you doing that. So if you guys want to look at my high school yearbook. Yeah.

You're all coked out, beating people up. He was a mess when I met him. This guy had snow on his nose, bloodshot eyes. He was mean. I saw him threaten the owner of Nick's. Here's my favorite Sweeney's story. I'm going to say it, okay? Oh, man.

It's a Friday night. I'm a new comic. It's like 1 in the morning. Nick's is closing up. You show up at the door. You were somewhere across the city banging on the door and you're furious about something. Jackie Gaetman's there. You come up. You and Jackie Gaetman, who's

a bit of a tough guy who ran the place, you get in an argument with him. I'm sitting like three stools over. I hear him saying that you... I hear him yelling about money. You go, and this is what you said. Jackie, I'll smear that big Jew nose all over your fucking face. Oh, my God. And that's where I got up, and I pretended to be busy.

I went to the back of the room. I was like all nervous. I go, what is going to go on here? Oh, my God. You were a little wild, Stevie. I mean, admit it. I never said Jew. I never said what is going to go on here? Oh, my God. You were a little wild, Stevie. I mean, admit it. I never said Jew. I never said that.

Oh, did you ever? No, I didn't. Now, hold on. You can come on here and say my friends call me an asshole, but I can't say that you said the word Jew. I'll tell you exactly what I said. I'll spread that nose all over your face, but I never use any ethnic stuff. It actually wasn't Jew. It was worse than that, but I cleaned it up.

I thought I was cleaning it up by saying Jew. It was actually derogatory. You know what? You just lost me about a million friends. I never said that. All right, listen. Oh, my God. What a phony.

What are you talking about? This is why we love you. You were a little out of your mind. You were drunk and cold. But you're not like that. No, but I'm not anti-Semitic. No, I think you were kidding. Jackie laughed.

But I got not anti-Semitic. No, I think you were kidding. Jackie laughed and, but I got, I got all nervous. Go back and forth because he would always say to me, you know, you Irish drunk and all this. Right. That's what we did in Boston. I know it was brutal,

but I, I've had this amazing experience watching. I always say this. If you open for me, you're going right to the top and i'll get to watch you go by me and i'll be filled with jealousy and hatred so congratulations no you were the guys i'm happy for people that people that get up and say you know i've been in the business close to 73 days and jesus christ nothing's happened you know what I'm saying? Oh, my God.

Do I ever. I was one of those guys, you know, I was like. When's the Tonight Show coming? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. But we're all like that in the beginning. I know. But you were at the, Steve was at the, you know, the foundation of when comedy started

at the Ding Ho in Boston, right? But you know what? It was me, but it was Barry Cremins. Right. It was Don Gavin. It was Lenny Clark. Mike Donovan, Bill Campbell. There were a lot of guys. There were guys that started before me. It's just I've always been old.

It's like I was never young. I've always been the same. Colin Quinn saw me about a year ago and he says, Jesus Christ, you look the same. He's like had this disappointing look on his face. By the way. You look way better now. The first 10 years I knew you, your eyes were bloodshot, blood red, and you were always a little fucking angry. But now you're like a professor, and your eyes are clear.

You know what actually happened to me? Yeah, Visine. Yeah, Vizine. Yeah, I was the Vizine king. My eyes were as red as the American flag. Listen, I've heard them all. But I know you've never done cocaine, and I wouldn't ask you if you've done it. I did in the 80s. My eyes would involuntarilyarily they'd be like, everything

was intense. Nick, I really and it'd be very emotional. That's how you looked. That's how you... I really love you, Nick. You look like one of Jeff Dunham's puppets right now. Let's talk about war. Let's talk about operations in your family. You're really a funny guy.

That's how you looked. And let me tell the story real quick. The day I ran into him was St. Patrick's Day. We had drinks and buh-buh. Next thing you know, the sun's going down. Steve wants to go to Southie. I don't know why. He doesn't tell me why. I'm a naive suburb kid. We get in a cab. We go to Southie Avenue B or whatever

on St. Patrick's Day night where they beat people up regardless of your race just because it's St. Patrick's Day. Stevie gets out of the cab. He's not out of the cab two minutes. Three guys come around the corner. They look like they're out of central casting for selfie. One of them had a leather jacket, red hair.

And Steve hands me his watch. And I go, I'm so naive. I go, why is he giving me his watch? He must really like me, this guy. And then these guys start chasing him up the street. And the cab driver takes off. And I'm yelling at the cab driver, you can't leave him here. And he's like, I'm not going to get this shit kicked out of me. And you ran all the way to the north end.

And by the way, he was there. Stevie told me he was there to pick up. No, I didn't exactly run. What I did is I went around the corner. Just like in the movie. Tell the people where you were going, why we were there. It was after I was joined. Whitey Bulger had one. A Whitey Bulger after I was joined. Yeah, it was uh at after hours joint whitey bulger had one after a whitey bulger after i was that was uh it was quite an event you i'll tell you i'll tell you how fucked up that was

i would go to that place and i was actually nick up for saturday night live the cast right yes so everybody's coked out of their minds you know nobody listens to anybody right and i'm with these idiots. And I said, I'm up for Saturday Night Live. I want to get one of those t-shirts. I know, but I'm not up for the show. I went down there. I had no t-shirts.

A friend of mine got a Letterman t-shirt. Oh, my God. You know... You ran all the way to the North End and you had, like like dress shoes on. I remember I didn't run. I keep telling you. Oh, you didn't run.

Oh, I went around the corner, waited for them, then waited for this other guy. He was going to help me. And it turned into this sort of thing. But anyway, anyways, you didn't get SNL. No. What what happened was. I remember if I can put the pieces together of that evening, you disappeared, which was a good move, actually. You keep implying that, and I didn't.

I did just the opposite. Monday morning, he sees me at Stitches. I mean, Monday night, I'm a barback. He punches me in the chest. Said, you left me for dead, you little guinea bastard. And I'm like, what are you talking about? You know, you're making me sound like this. You were.

You were a fucking monster. You were a green monster. You're making me sound like this racist bastard. An Irish guy from Southie. Why would I fucking imply that? I know. Nick, now, we as Nick DiPaolo fans, and I really mean that. I know you do.

You know why I like you? Because you're so different from what I do. Like Stephen Wright, you know what I mean? He's got his own world, and you've got your own thing that you do. Right, right. But when I called you, and you were at the airport, and you said, I'm leaving. I'm actually moving to Georgia. Yeah.

I thought for sure it was a divorce or something. Or you had flipped. Or you're going to a mental institution or something. People are still saying that. They're going, what are you doing? Is your wife from Georgia? No, she's not. She had relatives down here that I've never met years and years ago.

Her grandfather, whatever, who's passed away or whatever. Why did you pick Georgia? Because it's very cool and there's no humidity in the summertime. Isn't it incredible? I was down there in Virginia, and I went to one of these Civil War sites. And you grew up in the North. It says Civil War. Yeah, it was in the textbooks, whatever.

But when you're down South, you realize, oh, my God, they fought here. Right. You know? And you can see why people still kind of feel it. Yeah, absolutely. But here's the other thing, Stevie. You know, for I have this right wing, whatever the hell, I moved to a town that's 55% black and 39% white.

And the people are much more integrated down here. You don't feel there's not that underlying tension like when you're in Boston and New York. The liberal cities that have been fucked up by liberal politicians trying to handle the race issue for the last 40 years. They've butchered it completely. Down here, blacks and whites, you see all the black and white people having dinner together. You don't see that up north. I just absolutely love this town. It's just, you know, I had a guy across the street from where I live, excuse me for cutting you off. And he was from South Carolina.

He was just visiting. And I had this little pleasant conversation. And he said to me, you have a nice day. And he meant it. I was like, what the fuck is wrong with this guy? I figured he just thought of the nut house. He says, no. And he was like, what the fuck is wrong with this guy? I figured he just thought of the nut house. He says, no. And he was like, sincerely wanted me to have a nice day. It's pleasant. Pleasant, absolutely. And the tax is a way. I was playing.

I was living in New York City, Westchester County. I was getting raped tax-wise. And the city's a mess now. And it's much, you know me, I'm like you. I'm a high-strung Bostonian. I need my life simplified. I don't want to be in traffic i'm always in a rush if i go to a if i go to a dairy queen in this tube i got this from my dad when we're kids we go to dairy queen if there were two people in line he goes we're not going in there he'd fucking blow right by and that's how

i am and people it's nice down here i I drive to work. There's no traffic. There's three cars. I go to the airport later today. I'm going to the airport. It takes me 19 minutes as opposed to an hour in New York City. I can park anywhere I want. I'm at that age. You know what I said on the radio today?

Because I have my own show. You want to talk about an old crank. Now, the Bruins have the potential to win the Stanley Cup, which would mean the Red Sox, the Patriots, and the Bruins. That's right. And all I can say is, Jesus Christ, another freaking parade? Talk about a cranky old guy, you know? Everything is about traffic.

I hear the Boston Marathon. All I can think of is, oh, I can't drive through Boston. Remember Teddy Bergeron used to do that bit about, he was talking about, you know, picking up a girl. He said you could put Mother Teresa in Boston traffic and she'd be losing her shit after like three seconds. Losing her shit, I know. He'd do a bit about picking a girl up on a blind date and she gets in the camai. He's like, you look very nice tonight and I really feel you, and I hope we take this to the next level. I've picked out a beautiful restaurant I'm going to go to.

You're going to love the place. Will you get the fuck out of the way, you cocksucker? That's a red light. That's a funny bit. Bergeron. He's a funny guy. He's brilliant, and so are you. Let's talk.

Let's get into the movie here, Sweeney Killing Sweeney. You get heavy hitters like the farrelly brothers producers well that and lisa who work with them and peter came and bobby came they both loved it but i got my man stephen wright jonathan cats and without stroking you one of the best scenes in the movie is your scene and people love it it was so matter of fact mark who set up this thing what do we call these things uh we call these uh streaming live uh in interviews no the handles and i you know skype skype skype okay his two old guys his favorites his favorite scene and a lot of people's favorite scene is the nick depaulo scene but you know when you came down and you drove all the way from New York and you did my movie, it meant

the world to me. It meant the world to you. How about my idol? You're the reason I get in this business, and I don't know if I should love you or hate you for it, but you're the reason I get in this, and to have Steve Sweeney say I want you in my movie, I mean, it was a no-brainer.

Does that mean you'll be in the next one? Yeah. Is there going to be a sequel? Talk to my agent. Yeah. What's the sequel going to be? Oh, there's no sequel. We're doing another movie, though.

They made a movie about you at the premiere. But guys like Jonathan Katz. Brilliant. You know, Tony B., Frank Santorelli. Solid, funny guy. Lenny Clark. Those guys are great. You know, those guys.

Where was Gavin? Was he not invited to you guys fighting? Everybody said, Gavin insists I didn't ask him. I asked him five times. You know how Don likes his tea. And he'd bring it up every time. You know. I did Don Gavin's. They did this thing for him.

Rose Slash Tribute. And I did a thing. Because he's a weirdo. He likes folk music. And I had the audience sing Michael Rowe. The Boater Shore. It was a nice bit. And at the end of the thing.

You know all these things are too long. But he saw me and he says, how come you weren't up there? I said, Don, I was up there an hour ago. You know, come on. Did he have his thermos of black Russians with him? He did. Funny. Gavin is funny as they come.

Literally another genius. These guys are local guys. But Stevie started it all, man. I mean, Joe Rogan, you had your own, because I never saw anybody kill so hard. And I love we did a Comics Come Home with Dennis Leary a few years ago, and you did a bit, it was local references. You go, that bit will go about as far as Boylston Street. Boylston Street, that's why I'm still here.

Yeah, but you have a movie made about you. Come on. For example, what's your producer's name? Jason? Jason. He doesn't know who I am. How old is he? He'll be 14 on Thursday, so he's got a nice tight ass.

But, yeah, no, he's like, how old are you, Jason? 25. Ask him. Does he know who I am? The caps on your teeth are 24, for Christ's sake, Stevie. Did you know who he was? Not until Nick DiPaolo. Not until he met me.

His mother, however, has a poster of you in her bedroom. Now, listen. Oh, I want to meet his mother. You know how annoying this is? I did Bill Burr's podcast, which was fantastic. But the guy who runs the studio, I mean, I don't mind people not knowing me, but don't call me Mike. I said to the guy, you know, he said, Mike, I said, listen, it's Steve. Bill used to open for me. He says, oh, yeah. OK. And then his assistant called me, Mike.

And I said, this is getting a little much. At least get the name right. So take a page from them, Jason. I called him something else the other day. I called him Tommy. Tommy. But, you know, getting back to the drinking. Yeah. This slow motion of Nancy Pelosi. Yes.

Where she sounds like she's drunk. If you watch it, she kind of turns into Keith Richards. Well, you know, Donald Trump and Mick Jagger. Isn't that true? Now that you say that, she and Trump's catching all kinds of – oh, they left Facebook, left that up. That proves that that's how he stole the election with the help of Facebook. It's so crazy. But politically...

Hey, how about this? How about these guys that no longer wear jackets? Like Pete Buttigieg. You know, they wear the shirts, so now they're showing their hard-working guys. I know. They're such phony.

Cut the shit. Elizabeth Warren. She's like a librarian on cocaine, isn't she? Just picture her. This is the science fiction section. Get out of the mystery section. She seems like something you'd vote for, though, because she's from Cambridge. She's a real hippie.

I'm going to tell you a true story. How do you vote, Steve? I lean both ways, actually. Not sexually. How do you vote steve i i lean both ways actually uh not sexually how do you vote i know but i'm going to tell you elizabeth warren's story because i was banned from the quincy st patrick's day celebration for saying this she got up i can't stand her number one right scott brown happens to be a friend of mine that's irrelevant but she got up and she strives to be funny whatever so I got up after her about 500 people

there and I said sorry I'm late when Elizabeth was up I was shooting heroin in the parking lot up my ass because every word she says and that was it for me they booted you if there is one person that I can't stand in all of them, it's her.

What bugs you about her other than she's big-breasted? You know what? I don't have to go to this dirt with you here, Nick. What don't you like about her? All right. Number one, she gives me angina just watching her. But also, if you want to look objectively at somebody using a minority status who is not a minority and then professing to preach to the rest of us about equality, give me a break. And no one calls her on it.

All right? Is that enough? Yeah. You define that almost every liberal I can think of in politics. Do as I say, not as I do. That's why we hate them. They live in, I'm not talking old school liberals. I'm talking new progressives.

I like Louis C.K.'s liberal, Joe Rogan's liberal. They can look at both sides of an issue. That's me. And that's you. Exactly. I'm talking, I don't know what happened to Boston. It's fine. Classic liberals are fine.

They used to look at both sides of the issue. They were the ones who would say you could say anything you want, free speech. Now they're the ones, the new progressives are shutting it down, Stevie. That's what I'm saying. Hypocrisy is unbelievable. But you know what? Yeah. Joe Rogan warned me about you, that I would be sucked into this political maze.

No, that's it. That's all I wanted to say about that. That's all. You know, I'm doing LSD right now. You know that. You're actually, but I know you're on something because you're way more relaxed than you normally are. I can tell. You know what it is?

Yeah, I do. It's called Viking. I've been doing this shit so long that I like having a good conversation. You don't want a guy coming on who's on all the time. You don't want that. No, no. You would like somebody, however, who's reasonably funny, which I am not being. But let's go past that.

You're always funny, dude. I talked to Colin Quinn last night about you. Oh, I love Colin. I'm so proud of him. He's got it. Brilliant. Did... Your producer's name is Jason, isn't it? I think so. I called him Jack a few days ago. Is he laughing at any of this shit? He's laughing at all of it. Anything that's come out of your mouth.

He says you look like Elizabeth Warren with a goatee. He said that? No, I just said that. You want to see me not relax with that motherfucker, Jason? Sweeney said to me the last time we were talking, he goes, we were talking about how wild he was when he was young,

and he goes, I used to beat guys up bigger than you on the way to a fight. On the way to a fight, Jason would be what we call a tune-up. A tune-up fight. And that's no bullshit back then. Tell the people about the plot of the movie. Because I want people to go see this. Tell them.

Well, they have to buy it on Amazon and iTunes. But they can rent it soon. Eventually, I think it will be on Netflix or something. But HBO comes to town. They want to use me. But the characters are too local. They say, get rid of the characters. So my characters try to kill me.

Then I go to my friends for advice. One of whom, Stephen Wright, I think this is interesting. I said, Stephen, will you do the movie? He said, yep, I'll do it. I have to write my own dialogue. I said, okay, that's fine. Then I got the crew, right, because I'm producing, you know, camera, director, everybody. You know how it is.

And then Stephen calls me. He said, meet me in the parking lot across from Walden Pond. Okay, boys, we're in South Boston. We got to go where he says. And he comes out of the woods and he does his whole thing. Boy, what an honor, though, to're in South Boston. We've got to go where he says, and he comes out of the woods, and he does his whole thing. Boy, what an honor, though, to get him in it. He doesn't do it. He doesn't do movies.

He could do movies. He gets offered movies. He doesn't do them. He picked the location for his scene, too? Absolutely. He picked the location. He was in the woods near his house. I wish you'd let me do that.

He picked the location, and he picked his own dialogue. And it was really funny. Guys like us, we admire people who did it their own way. Right. And that is definitely him. Oh, absolutely. I hung out with him for almost two weeks. Horace and Pete, Louis C.K. did this Horace and Pete thing.

It was almost like a live play that he filmed. Brilliant series with Edie Falco and with Steve Buscemi and Jessica Lange and Alan Alda. I got to actually work with these people. You've got to see it, Steve. It's based on an Irish bar that's handed down from generation. It's dark. It's mean. It's funny.

And, yeah, Stephen Wright and me hung out for almost two weeks. And he would laugh at everything coming out of my mouth, and he would make people... And he's such a nice, down-to-earth, brilliant, funny... Boston is loaded with... You've got to be honest. I mean, come on, Stephen Wright, you, Lenny Clark,

Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien, Louis C.K., Dane Cook, Billy Burr. I mean, it goes on and on. You know who I hung out with that was one of the joys of my life? Zsa Zsa Gabor. Zsa Zsa, yeah.

That was nice, the first night. And then after that, no sleep. She had restless legs, and I said, get out. Peter Falk. Yes. Peter Falk. Now, did I tell you the story about Peter Falk? Do you know the town that I lived in in New York that I just moved from?

Yeah. There's a street called Peter Falk Way. He grew up about a mile from the house. Beautiful guy. Very different than what you would think. So I did this movie with him. Did I tell you this story? I'm going to tell you.

I don't know. So I did this movie. It's called The Money Kings on video. You should get it. It's a good movie. Three-week shoot. During the week, I'm doing the movie. And then the weekends, I'm going to the freaking Kowloon and Saugus, right, to tell jokes. So I'm going from everything to Chinese restaurant.

Yeah. So he was watching this and we would have great conversations about football, whatever. And then at the end of the shoot, he says to me, you know, I've been in this business a long time. I've met a lot

of people, Sweeney, and I gotta tell you, you by far, by far, are the most fucked up human being that I have ever met in my life. And that's what makes you – that's what makes a great comic. I don't want to – if you're well-adjusted, you're usually not very funny. That's how it works. I know.

Why would you do this for a living if you're kind of like normal? Why would you do it? I can see it're kind of like normal? Why would you do it? I could see it as a hobby, but what we do is extraordinary. Well, somebody asked me why I did comedy, and somebody told me when I was like 14 years old. I started to get interested in girls. They said, if you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything. And I said, I've got to get out of here. And they said, where are you going?

I said, I'm going to buy exploding shoes and a seltzer bottle. But it doesn't work the other way. If a girl makes a guy laugh, she can't make us do anything. My wife asked me to, you know, load the dishwasher. I said, don't make me fucking laugh. But that's why I get into it. No, but you're right. There's something a little, and it sounds cliche, but there's something a little off when you say, I want to get in front of strangers.

And, hey, look at me. I'm fucking funny. You didn't get enough attention. I was the middle child. I don't think I got enough attention. The middle child of 36. So I was 18. That's 18.

That's no attention whatsoever. That's nothing. That's attention deficit right there. But I'm proud of you, Steve, because you were, I mean, you know, heavy into the drugs and stuff like everybody in Boston, the comedy scene. But I couldn't believe I hadn't seen you in 10 years when I met you, ran into you, I don't know, 15 years ago doing

Comics Come Home. You had already been clean and sober for years, and I'm proud that they made this movie. It's well-deserved. Seriously. It's well-deserved, and you are the reason I got into this. Can I just disagree with what you said about the women? My experience is, George Carlin said this, by the way. He said, for a woman to go home with a comedian, it's like going home with a monkey with a hurdy-gurdy guy.

media and it's like going home with the monkey with a hurdy-gurdy birth guy it's like it like i went out with a woman i i swear to god it's like an hour into it when are you gonna and i hit the horrible beautiful girl horrible boston accent yeah when are you gonna be funny jesus when are you gonna start being funny or they do your lines while you're eating just horrible you know what am i to stop being funny? When I take my pants off, you'll be laughing your balls off. Not me. Not me. When my pants go down, so many women have said to me, wow, I can't believe you're white.

That's because you have black nylons on. Ah, boom. We're going now. We're cooking. Listen, so I know you have followers. The first time I heard that word, I was on the set for Equalizer and this kid said, well, what they know self-fulfillment. So what about my followers? I said, what is this like Jesus? And it's a cult. And then I realized, you could put out to your followers that people can buy this movie on Amazon and iTunes. iTunes. And Nick DiPaolo's got a great scene in it, and that would be great if you could do that. And I'm not saying this because this guy's one of my idols.

It's a funny, funny – Bill Broadus wrote it, one of the best writers in Boston comedy history. And Lisa did a kick-ass job directing it. Like you said, Stephen Wright, Jonathan Katz, Lenny Clark, Bobby Slayton. Jordan as an actress, and Sharon Smith, excuse me, and

Christina. Yeah, and you don't have to be familiar with Steve's work to love it. It's really funny. Please order it. And thank you, Stevie. Thank you. Hey, you just went to shake, and I went like this. No, I just went. And I realized we're not right here. Stevie, good seeing you

again. And that was the great Steve Sweeney. Again, us Boston Comics, he led the way. And go see Sweeney Killing Sweeney. You'll laugh your ass off. And I thank him for letting us do that interview. That's about it.

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and that is about it. We have a Daddy's Day 10% off, too. So, that's it for today, folks. Thank you so much. Again, remember, you think it, I will say it. You're very welcome. I'll see you guys on Patreon.com tomorrow. Take care of yourselves. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 ¶¶ ¶¶ I'm out.