The Nick DiPaolo Show - Pope, Pedophiles, and Prosecutors

Episode Date: August 29, 2018

Me Live At The Comedy Cellar. Vatican Vacillates on Violations. DeSantis Has a Monkey on his Back. 

Thank you for watching! Oh yeah, how are you, folks? Ah! Ten cigarettes, twelve? I don't know. How's it going? On a shitty Wednesday, 119 motherfucking degrees. Oh yeah, this is streaming live, Facebook, YouTube, all that motherfucking degrees. Oh, yeah. This is streaming live. Facebook, YouTube, all that shit.

You know how it goes. We'll do it live. Yeah. We'll do it live. Fuck it. Yeah. Do it live. I'll write it and we'll do it live.

That's right. Fucking thing sucks. My favorite fucking moment captured. How are you? 833-599-NICK. 833-599-6425 is the phone number. Tonight I'll be at the, and this is relevant to the show today, I'll be at the Village Underground. Right around the corner from the Comedy Cellar.

And then this Saturday I'll be at the Fat Black Pussycat Underground right around the corner from the Comedy Cellar. And then this Saturday, I'll be at the Fat Black Pussycat right around the corner from the Comedy Cellar. These are all Comedy Cellar-owned things. And then Saturday, September 8th, the Fat Black Pussycat also. Friday, September 14th and 15th, Arlington Draft House, Arlington,

Virginia. Friday, September 21st, Orpium Theater, as much as I hate to get on a fucking plane, Flagstaff, Arizona. Friday, September 21st, Orpium Theater. As much as I hate to get on a fucking plane, Flagstaff, Arizona. Saturday, September 29th, the Fat Black Pussycat again. Thursday, October 4th, the Texas Theater, where Oswald was shot. Dallas, Texas. I'll be on Crowder's show that afternoon. Crowder, louder with Crowder. November 2nd. Crowder, a lot of with Crowder. November 2nd and 3rd, Governors in Levittown, Long Island,

which I love. Those people don't get offended. They get it. It used to be a shitty room. Now it's the best room. Going to New York City, a bunch of uptight. Friday, November 9th and 10th,

comics, Mohegan Sun. That's in Uncasville, Connecticut. And nickdip.com for all your ticket info and whatnot. 833-599-6425. Went to the Comedy Cellar last night. Walk into the

Olive Tree Garden. It's the restaurant upstairs from the Comedy Cellar. I see people setting up camera and lights and all kinds. I see Noam, the owner, sitting down. And it turns out Good Morning America was there to interview Noam Dwarman, the owner of the Comedy Cellar. And I'm like, what is this all about? It's about Louis C.K. coming back in and doing a set and not announcing it and people getting their feelings hurt

and wah, fucking horseshit. I couldn't, he's already, Gnome has already been on Nightline and a bunch of other shows. As you know, BuzzFeed called me today, and I did an interview with BuzzFeed, and I can't believe this is where we're at i read they're treating this like louis raped five girls i mean he's getting like harvey

weinstein coverage it's just i i couldn't believe what i was fucking hearing and um some people say well uh louis put the Cellar owner in a precarious position by just showing up and not announcing it and calling before. I don't agree with that. I mean, if you show up and Louie comes on, first of all, consider yourself fucking lucky. And we talked about it yesterday. Some guy complaining after that he wasn't warned ahead.

He wants a trigger warning before he goes to a comedy club, you fucking pussy. That's all I have to say, you fucking pussy. And just... I mean, I lived with Louis for a couple of years, for Christ's sake.

And like I said, I saw his penis three times, twice consensually. So I don't see what the fucking beef is. Can you imagine? Can you imagine, though? This is... This is... We must really be an affluent, shallow, empty country with nothing better to do. And again, I've said it.

I've already you've heard my angle on this. You've heard I know him as good as anybody. We came to the Boston ranks together. And one of the things I said to the BuzzFeed guy that was interviewing me today. I said, why don't you do an article on the five women who were so traumatized and ask them if Louie wasn't rich and famous and wasn't in their business. Let's say he was a mailman or a bank teller and asked them to come up to his room at the hotel. Would they have come? Legitimate question, Twinks or not? Just saying. Go ahead. They would Just saying. Go ahead. They would not have.

Thank you. Plain and simple. And again, I've said it. If Louie did that to my sister or whatever, I'd pop him in the face. Fucking abhorrent behavior, bad judgment. But we live in a society where, you know, hey, Michael, Vic, you better give him a second.

Everybody gets a second chance in the United. That's the beauty of it. Did he come back too early? I mean, it was only since November. Now, he should have waited three fucking years. Is that what you want me to say? Grow the fuck up, okay? Grow up.

Part of this, here's my theory on that. I call it revenge of the nerds. I came up through comedy with Louie, and he was always really funny. Got much funnier later on, but he was always brilliantly smart and funny. And you know what? No chicks looked at him twice because he was a pasty, freckled face, white, red-haired, Irish-looking kid. No girl gave him the fucking time of day. And you know what?

Then he got rich and famous and said, I'm not going to wait for you to ask me to show you my dick. what then he'd get rich and famous and said i'm not gonna wait for you to ask me to show you my dick do you get same harvey wine but they're conflating with harvey weinstein who is almost i don't know again allegedly a fucking rapist let's not mix the two together feminists humorless fucking feminists who have taken the fun out of the fucking world political correctness is led by the modern feminists who have taken the fun out of the fucking world political correctness is led by the modern feminists just get that straight but i couldn't believe i go in and see these cameras and it's nbc talking about my old fucking roommate i wanted to stick my face into the camera go hey why don't you talk to me i know i'm better than anybody and um i'm just saying and i know the guy he's a great father raised two daughters and and and um

i was talking to that guy from buzzfeed today i said why don't you watch the episode if you can find it they pulled he was saying but some people saying he wasn't punished enough really they pulled his goddamn show from fx he wrote and directed a movie. They crushed that before it got started. And you know how many millions of dollars that is? That's like a fine. So really, what do we do? You want to put him in a fucking pillory thing so the public

can walk by with his head in a fucking wooden... Just absolute hysteria. And again, ladies, I'm not... Again, I don't condone what he fucking did. But I look back on it. When I was on a first date with a chick when I was really young, I was afraid to say, can I kiss you? I'm starting to think I was way too passive in my.

But and then you hear about women. They were traumatized when they saw a man's penis. They actually go to a psychologist some of these and again these some of them are maybe legitimate assaulting but some girls one of them i think it was the louis post-traumatic stress disorder so seeing some guy's dick is the equivalent of doing five years in vietnam and watching your best friend bleed to death in your arms i mean what kind of cock does this guy have i would like to have a dick that fucking scared women so bad they had to go to a shrink a big one yeah that's the joke stupid thanks twinks ah god damn it yeah god damn it is right uh but i can't believe the hullabaloo. I just can't.

I can't believe we're at this point. It is crazy. Crazy. I mean, kids are being molested. It's fucking, you know, Middle East has been on fire for about 100 years. No, let's worry about this guy who pulled his prick out. Like, I think 19 fraternity brothers of mine. I had a fraternity brother.

We had little dogs, and I'm not condoning this behavior either. We had two little dogs. We're sitting on the couch watching TV. Down comes a fraternity brother of mine with a dog in his hand with nothing on and sits down, and the dog starts licking his balls because he put hamburger juice on it. And sits down and the dog starts licking his balls because he put hamburger juice on it. Now that I might. Anyways, what's that got to do with it? I don't know.

But I can't believe the hysteria. Oh, my God. We should have known he was going to. You can't walk in like again, like he shot a baby on national TV. We have lost our fucking collective minds. Not we. Them. 833-599-6425.

Very, very interesting night. So that's how it starts. I walk in there and I go, you've got to be kidding me. And I love Noam, the comedy seller owner who's handling it perfectly. We talked about him yesterday. He couldn't be a more fair guy and and uh you know so whatever i go in there and michelle wolf who you guys you probably don't like her she wrote for the daily show and uh she did the correspondence dinner in dc a liberal or whatever but you know what i know her and I like her. I think she's fucking funny. I hate her politics.

But once again, I'm not like the lefties. I can hate somebody's politics and not hate them. So I was sitting in the car. I had to follow her last night. She goes downstairs. I hear her being introduced. Must have been a three minute round of applause sustained. And I'm like, holy shit.

I swear to God, they do this to me on purpose and uh so i she kills or whatever i hear the round of applause i'm at the comedy cellar i stay upstairs i like the applause from the guys before me die down before i go down so it won't with my head i'm coming down the stairs and there's still applause i don't know what she did but but you know it's the comedy comedy seller on the campus at NYU and they fucking love her. And I like it too. You know, again, hate her fucking politics, but, uh, we were joking up at the, uh, sitting at the table, busting each other's balls.

And, um, so I go on and first of all, I go, uh, Michelle Wolf, how about a hand? I said, that's a, that's a girl with some balls and I said if you like girls with balls you're in the right neighborhood the village in New York City I said I got a hand job from a woman here a couple years ago in this neighborhood hands are bigger than George Foreman's

and they like that bop bop bop ping ping pong ping and they like that. Ba-ba-ba-bing-ping-pong-ping. Anyways, so I go on to her applause, and it's so funny. First of all, I'm older than everybody in there, including the doorman. Do you understand I've been going to that club and that stage since the early 90s to watch these audiences,

generation after generation, get more PC and more brainwash. Somebody should do that perspective. You don't get a better perspective than a stand-up comic talking to strangers, young strangers, year after year, and watching them and watching their little fucking minds be poisoned by this pc horse shit because they live on social media and if they're not doing that they're watching the mainstream media just getting fucking indoctrinated with this pc horse shit and um there was a girl up front with

her arms like this glasses on with a stern even sean donnelly the host who's a fucking he's like a liberal guy said what is your problem i don't know she lived in england for a while or something anyways um here's here's a couple clips i i i recorded this set last night and and i pulled you know it's a 15 minute set but i pulled like three clips and and i did well i did very well because i went on balls out and i said look i voted different than Michelle and I'm going to fucking let you have it. And you could see some people were very happy about that. So

I pulled three clips. Here's a couple of, here's the first clip from the comedy cellar last night. The audio. I used the Waze app. Do you guys have any drive here? Are y'all getting raped at Uber's every weekend? Oh yeah, I just made that up. I didn't read 11 of those stories in the last two weeks.

You girls are horny. Just call fucking Uber. Don't be like from Haiti on bath salts. Thank you. I'll play to the four white guys in the corner who are joining me. Us two fucking faggots can go home and cry. Send an email to the club. Yeah, I throw the word faggots out there and I'll keep throwing it out there.

Some most nights the audience gets quiet, but it depends how you use it. I'm not looking at a guy with a yellow shirt and a fucking, you know, plucked eyebrows and going, you know, like anything else. So I start off with, I didn't do anything that controversial, but here's clip number two. I don't even remember what I talked about. The way zap. So I drive in here from Northwest,

I look 40 miles, I make the first 38 miles in about 42 minutes. And then I get to the West Side Highway and it's a fucking parking lot. Well, they call it the Joe DiMaggio Highway now. They should call it the Lou Gehrig Highway because you can a fucking parking lot. Well, they call it the Joe DiMaggio Highway now. They should call it the Lou Gehrig Highway because you can't fucking move when you're on it.

It's a great joke, faggots. I don't give a fuck. Keep getting uncomfortable. Suck it, lick it, die. That was funny. Give it back and shit. And there's that woman in the front with her arms folded and fucking staring. She was actually proactive in being politically correct,

like disliking you before you even got to the stage. And it was just so goddamn annoying. And I said to her at one point, what's with the cunty attitude? I checked my phone about an hour ago and I get four messages from the woman who books the comedy cellar and I'm like, oh boy. So I call her immediately.

What did I do? And she said, you called a woman this C word. Do we have enough problems with the Louis CK thing going on right now? And I said, I didn't. First of all, I said, I didn't. I said, what's with the Conti attitude. I use it as an adjective,

not a noun, which is a big goddamn difference. And, and, uh, I said, I did not do that. And I love the people,

the comedies. I really do. I love the owners and stuff. And, but I, you know, so I said, no problem.

I, I won't, I won't even reference that in any way, uh, anymore. But I, but I said it in a, in a jokingly,ly lighthearted way where the audience actually giggled. But I'm just giving you an idea of what we're dealing with here.

Here. Did you hear that? That Boston accent? Oh, my God. I did hear it, yeah. I'm just saying you don't use the C word, uh, when you're at the comedy cellar. I, uh, ask not what these cunts can do for you, but what you can do for these dirty cunts.

But they asked me, look, please refrain. And I didn't realize it was such a hot, the Louis C gave him was such a, you know, I didn't know the comedy store. I mean, the comedy seller, what kind of heat they're taking. I just didn't, I can't believe it to that goddamn point. So, um, here's his, what was the last clip? I go into some religious shit, you know, they were liking me. Here's the point.

They were liking me and then they were hating me. And then they were like, and I was pointing it out to them i go i know you hate everything i stand for fucking you know and but they were laughing this and there was one table of girls who they must have been from florida or down they couldn't they they laughed at everything i said they were giggling when it was quiet one girl was actually wiping her eyes you know and it's usually the young let's be honest the young broads who are the pc they're the ones that bought into this hashtag me too and um but this table they were wiping their eyes they couldn't believe that i had changed the mood from whatever michelle wolf talked about and i'm just assuming it was way different than me

um i i come up there and going I'm sick of this horse shit. You people aren't the inclusion. You're going to include me in my fucking point of view. And you know what? Whatever. And the last thing, I got into some religion making fun of Catholicism,

which I think would be safe to do in the People's Republic of New York. But here's the last audio clip. Yeah, I'm Catholic. I was raised Catholic. That's kind of a creepy. I understand why people make fun of that shit.

Confession. Ten-year-old boy telling fucking my sins to a grown man. Might as well be reading a penthouse forum letter to him. By the time I'm done confessing, that little window that I'm talking to him through looks like the bottom of a parakeet's cage. Looks like the sneeze garden at a Tom Carvell's at closing time. A girl killed by a truck and God called her home. What kind of religion kills people with a truck? That's right, Islam, folks. Let's go to the comedy club and take the shit literally.

That's a good time. Communist whores, thank you. The minute I hit Islam... And I mentioned Muslims early in the set. And I forget. It is this buzzwords. Like I said, you want to quiet a room, just say Muslim, say you broads, you chicks, you women and black people. This is buzzwords that they it is such a study in psychology to be a stand up comic, go in front of a room full of strangers and just to watch these kids melt at certain words and you ask yourself how did they get to that point mentally and it's just so fucking

obvious he's liberal indoctrination indoctrination um so it is an interesting night and uh and and the comedy cell is the best club around the only problem is it's on the campus of nyu as far as i see in new york city but uh they get quiet they laugh they get quiet and i'd say you guys fucking love me i know you you hate me on some level but admit it fucking you love me it was the most it was just it's just a whole night uh and i'm and i'm headed back down there tonight around the corner of the Village Underground, which is a bigger club and there's a more... You can be more free there.

I don't know why. The more intimate the room, when you say something inflammatory, it just spreads like wildfire. Comedy Cell only holds about 120 people. But it was interesting. Anyways. Michael in Chicago. Let's go to Michael. Michael, what's going on? I'm on the phone, so bye. Anyways, Michael in Chicago. Let's go to Michael.

Michael, what's going on? Hey, Michael, what's up? Michael? Hey, Michael. Hey, Nick, this is Michael. What's up, Michael? I'm waiting on the phone half an hour, and I'm in the middle of a conversation,

10 seconds in, and you say, Hey, Michael, what's up? Oh, fuck me, sorry. Well, I was going to talk about... No, no, no, I'm fucking with you. I was going to talk about Harvey Weinstein. Yeah. But you went on a couple different rants.

So you want me to talk about Harvey, the Me Too movement, Poisoned Brains, MSM or social media? Whatever you want to talk about. Michelle Wolf go ahead Mike whatever you want to talk about alright so well the next thing on my list is

Louis CK disproves my point but my point was going to be about Harvey Weinstein so I'm out of breath now that's alright so do you ever notice that all the Me Too movement people aren't Trump critics? All the... Name a Me Too movement victim that criticized Trump. And I'll explain to you why I didn't actually criticize them.

What are you talking about? The whole hashtag Me Too thing is anti-Trump. At least in tone. No, no, no, no, no, no. But name an actor that's vocal against Trump that was exposed in the Me Too movement. You didn't say... Oh, sorry. Dude, I'm out of... I know. But your caller got me on the line, and I was going to go into Harvey, and then it was like half an hour later, there's 10 different subjects we were going to go over. So now we're back

on Harvey. What is your point? My point is Me Too movement a couple of layers of this point. First layer. The Me Too movement was hijacked by the Deep State within the first week of the

Me Too movement. So what that means is, holy shit, I'm out of shape. Out of breath. I had to run upstairs. You sound like Weinstein after a fucking audition. Go ahead. You know what's funny, dude? I'm like a fit motherfucker.

So it's like I'm projecting myself like a badass, but whatever. But anyways. Hurry up. Get to your point. I got a lot of calls. fit motherfuckers. So I'm projecting myself like a fanatic, but whatever. But anyways. Hurry up. Get to your point. I got a lot of calls. So the Me Too movement, I know, I know.

I'm sure they're really good calls. Me Too movement is hijacked by the deep state. Since the week after Me Too started, which people

that were exposed are vocal critics of Trump. First of all, what's your definition of the... Name one. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. You're all over the map, dude. What is your definition of the deep state? Oh, dude. I'm already all over the map. Yeah, so you're making no sense. That ties into my other point. You're going to combat me, dude? Yeah. I'm not making no sense. That ties into my other point. You're going to combat me, dude?

Yeah. I'm not making any sense. The deep state movement is both mainstream media, which you brought up, and social media. The two medias you couldn't distinguish which were poisoning the minds of you. Both are because they're both the same thing. That's not the deep state. The deep state is people that worked for Obama that try to fucking keep Trump from becoming

president. No, I tried correcting you with this weeks ago, but I got banned from Twitter. That's not. You got your own definition of deep state, Mike. I'm going to call him with a fake name. Dude, I promise you, I'm an independent journalist

with two years of research that hasn't been published. So I promise you I know what the deep state entails. Wait, are we going to turn this on me? I don't get your point, Michael. I don't understand. So what's your question now? My point was asking you a question, and you could answer the question and prove the point that, oh, all these people that are victims of the Me Too movement aren't actual victims in Hollywood. They're not the predators of Hollywood.

Name a pedophile exposed. Oh, fucking Spacey? 35 years ago? Are you fucking kidding me? 35 years ago? He was one of the his kids on the weekend. Okay, thanks, Mike. Go ahead.

I appreciate it. You gotta go. You're all over the fucking map. First of all, Spacey, this shit he did a couple years ago that's now in the new... The deep state, what does that get to...

You're calling the mainstream... They're not the deep state. They're transparent. Everybody can see what they're doing. The fucking deep state of the people that were left over from the Obama administration, they're trying to fucking sink the Trump administration. I think his bigger point was he's trying to pin this on Trump or Trump's friends.

Maybe I'm fucking wrong, but I couldn't put your logic together. They're not critics of Trump, so that means they're allies of Trump and and all I know is Harvey Weinstein every picture I saw him he's with holding hands with Hillary I'm so I'm not sure Michael what you what you were talking about but uh call back when we when you haven't run 40 flights of stairs. Jesus Christ. Let's see. Let's go to Nick. It says Nick Anonymous in Montreal.

Nick, what's going on? What's up? I'm fine, Nick. How are you? Good. How are you doing? I just took an elevator good and i'm going to try and stay on the map so uh but i just want to let you know where i'm

coming from i'm a year older than you and in all aspects that you talk about everything i could just peg it this way the monsters is hysterical okay so i just want to tell but michelle waltz i mean i don't know much about her i'd see it better for and it was a lot on that course on its dinner he is not funny at all she's horrid and i don't know one aspect i want to tell you about it

you shouldn't say that you like these people the comedy is terrible because they wouldn't say a nice thing about you and i'm sure about that and if they had their chance to have you walked up with you say they want to do the louis c came put him in the stock so it'll be nice to you know what i'd like to watch sometimes i watch laura ingram i mean they're talking about somebody who's just awful and terrible,

and they say, but, you know, I like them. How can you like somebody who, like, that's like being in a street fight and saying, well, I like that guy, but he wants to put a knife in my ribs. You know what I'm saying? Oh, can I fucking answer your question? Sure, you can answer my question. This is how. You separate politics.

You don't judge everybody by their politics and by the way you said all these people these left-wing liberal entertainers would probably have me locked up and put in jail john stewart john stewart on his last episode of the daily show uh said he was looking back to get into stand-up and he mentioned two of the two of the comics that he admired he mentioned mentioned me and Colin Quinn. So I can separate my politics. You might think she's unfunny, but I'm more qualified than you because I do this for a living and have been for 30 years. And I know a little more about it.

Yeah, I abhor her politics. But she can write a fucking joke, and I don't think she'd have me thrown in jail for my views. So I think you can separate the two, Nick. I understand that some people you can't, but when it comes to it, there's a few of them I like. I like Louis C.K. He's fucking liberal. I like Jon Stewart personally.

He's liberal, and, you know, but I don't have to like their politics and I'll tell them they're fucking crazy to their face and they'll tell me. That's America, right? I don't know. I don't know. She just really rubs me the wrong way. Uh-oh, that sounds like a hashtag me too fucking incident.

Oh, what? All right, Nick. Good call, buddy. Thank you. Hope the the maple leaves win a cup some uh time this century i i do i i i did a i did a pilot with uh michelle wolf that her and dan soda wrote and and and yes i want to strangle her when she's talking politics and she's sitting at the table last night talking about how the political correctness affects her act. And I'm giggling under my breath going, are you shitting me? You're a woman who leans left in her politics and you think the PC thing, the hashtag is somehow squelching your speech.

She's like, there was one joke I did that even they didn't. I go, try doing an hour of those type of jokes. Fucking let's get something straight. This whole PC movement came about to fucking quiet people like me. Straight white males. I go to the comedy side. I get into this business. I'm a fucking ex-jock, a fraternity guy.

I'm everything they fucking hate. But I make them love me by the end. Sometimes. Not by the end. Sometimes. Not all the times. But I can, you know, I can separate the two. You can't be a fucking dick. Let's go to Ryan in Dallas.

Ryan, what's going on? And the winner is... Hey, buddy. What's up? Your little YouTube channel has the chat going on, and we all like to make little bets before the broadcast. And I guessed what color, or I asked them, what color is Nick DiPaolo's shirt going to be today?

Since there are only three options, I guessed gray, and winner of today. So I'd just like to congratulate myself, because I'm Mr. Modest over here. And I do run a t-shirt company, so if you want any of these anti-liberal sissy shirts, you just let me know. And whatever size, you know, your bloated belly wears. I'll get you. Bloated belly. I can fucking 56.

I could rip your head off. Fucking bloated belly my ass. Oh, you're smoking cigarettes. You shut up. Yeah, but I do it after I work out. You sound like the first caller who went up three stairs and was out of breath. I do? What are you talking about?

I just did P90X for a fucking hour. Come on, Ryan. All right. I might hit you up on those T-shirts. All right, Ryan. Anyways, go ahead. I'm sorry. No, that's it.

I got to go. I got more callers. Thank you. Let's go. Should we should get on a couple stories here before i have to run out of here again because once again i'm a hard-working fella you know no white privilege here have to jump into my car drive an hour and 10 minutes to make fucking 30 white privilege my stem you fucking titlis wonders uh headline desantis that's a guy that was the conservative type guy running

in the primary for uh you know florida governor anyways um he made a big boo-boo last night apparently um ron desantis the republican nominee for florida governor told fox news this morning that florida shouldn't monkey this up in quotes by electing democrat nominee andrew gillum and you're like what's the big deal well andrew gillum happens to be black and uh you know you know how that works i talked about this a couple weeks ago certain words uh just it's just hyper fucking by the way desantis was a military former military guy, fucking patriot and whatnot. I'm sure the soldiers next to him in his barracks were of all different colors and shit. But whatever, that doesn't matter in today's fucking PC world.

It's disgusting that Ron DeSantis is launching his general election campaign with racist dog whistles. Florida Democrat Party Chairwoman Terry Rizzo said, The chicks always fall for the anti-PC horseshit. Jeff Bergen, Gillum's campaign spokesman, said, Said the campaign was letting the FDP, whatever the fuck that is, respond. DeSantis comments speak for themselves. And you know what this is to me? Nothing burger. Nothing burger.

Nothing burger. But here's my take on it, okay? It was dumb. He has to know. I don't think it's a dog whistle, okay? There's people you can tell. That's a phrase that's been around forever. Don't monkey this up.

I've heard my dad say it. I've heard a million. Don't fucking monkey. I've said it to the twinks, but fucking a week after I met him talking about their clothes. But, you know, don't monkey it. But DeSantis has

to know a little better in this PC climate when he's talking about a black opposition to throw the word monkey in there. I don't know. I think he should know better i'm not justifying the people that are upset saying that's racist and shit because i don't think he meant it that way but um you know you know the history of the word

friggin uh monkey uh let's play uh i think you remember howard cos monkey let's play I think you remember Howard Cosell let's play Howard Cosell this is a mashup and the audio is a little fucking hairy but that little monkey gets loose doesn't he that little monkey gets loose, doesn't he? That little monkey. There he goes. That little monkey. Nobody can could be more liberal. And that caused, you know, even back then in the 80s, whenever he said that caused a shitstorm.

Howard Cosell couldn't be more liberal and pro-black and pro-minority. Don't do that. Ryan, you're like a fucking AD. Are you a little autistic? You seem a little... I'm a little fidgety. You don't think that's... How do you not know that's not distracting?

You're fucking sitting there flipping a pen trying to catch it. Thank you for... Got it. Jason, give him the Ritalin shot in his ass. That little monkey is distracting. But, you know, come on. Fucking DeSantis.

How do you not fucking know that's not going to... Maybe, you know, you're not going to... You have to know it's going to cause a shitstorm. We actually have Kramer on Seinfeld. I'm bringing it up because... You are a tenacious little monkey. Oh, Jesus Christ. We know why he said that.

Monday morning quarterback. And we know what he did on that comedy stage when he yelled out the N-word. So that's why I pulled it up, even though the character he was talking to wasn't black. But you can't say, seriously, banana, fried chicken, watermelon. I mean, it's crazy what we've done to the goddamn language and Some people saying it wasn't a dog whistle. It was outright racist I'm reading the car, you know

Is there anything better than going online after a controversial racial story and reading the comment section? How fucking fun is that? It starts off, you know always starts off a little mellow than It starts off, you know, always starts off a little mellow than two seconds later, you know. Well, you know, George Bush didn't know what he was doing. Yeah, but he left Obama a bad economy.

Then like, yeah, your sister's a silverback ape who sucks dick every Wednesday night at the fucking Whole Foods. What? It jumped from... Right, Phil? I love YouTube comments. Yeah, YouTube comments or, or you know just the comments after

an article do you want to know what has the most actually thoughtful and delightful comments you guys can put yourself on camera what website has that what porn hub has the most thoughtful comments you're probably not trying to be ironic right now you're not i'm serious i'm dead serious yeah i i believe that everybody agrees that those are a nice set of titties real real discussion on like the the camera work of the porn or like oh i there's some great shit from this other actress or like that's the only place you can find a civil conversation exactly 208 there's a dog in the screenshot there you go all right take yourselves off it's starting to scare me uh yeah no you're

probably right. That's the only place you can find a civil conversation. Because everybody loves titties no matter what color. But so you guys, you decide. I'm just telling you. You know, I don't think it was a dog whistle. Who the fuck knows? Florida's such a mess, that state.

By the way, he won by about 22 points, I believe. Let's go to Lori in New Jersey. She wants to talk about Louis C.K. thing and her daughter who's in college and is liberal and it drives her nuts. It's always good to get a woman's perspective on something like this. Lori, welcome to the show.

Glad to have you. Hi, Nick. How's it going? I have to. Glad to have you. Hi, Nick. How's it going? I have to say, I saw you last month at the Fat Black Pussycat. Okay. You are very handsome in person. Thank you. You're handsome on podcasts, too, and things.

Yeah, so anyway, i thought it was interesting i listened to like raw dog in the car on serious or i listened to comedy central and shocked that they never pulled ck louis ck off of those channels i would still hear his bits when you know you got yanked and god knows anthony got yanked and everybody else for stuff. I thought it was interesting that they kept him on. That's actually that's a that's an interesting observation that I didn't even make myself because I've been in the car many times. And Louie comes on. It's like a good Rolling Stones song. And I turn it up and laugh my ass off.

But you make a great point. and I turn it up and laugh my ass off. But you make a great point. But you know what? They didn't take me off either as far as playing my clips and stuff. But I wasn't this big. I didn't get into this international. Louis' story is like international

as far as controversy. It involves feminism, which is the enemy of comedy. He said it. I've said it. Anybody who knows comedy. Is there anybody more humorless, Laurie, than a fucking modern day feminist?

No, and I have one living in my house during the summer. Yeah, your daughter. You say she goes to college and she's being brainwashed. Where does she go? she goes to Fordham and she is a really smart girl. But it makes me nuts because, you know, we live in a very nice affluent area, but yet she thinks, you know, my husband and I are racist. And then I'll tell her, but I raised you and why aren't you a racist then? Like I'm a good person. you know i we're catholic we're italian you know i'm like i i call it as i see it there are stereotypes for a reason she don't

want to hear that at all so i live in a nice town so she could go to good schools, not be disrupted by people in class that don't value education. And yet she makes all these comments to my husband and I, and I said to her, I'm like, I have life experience over you. You have to understand. But you go into the city and you live your life, and then you tell me, couldn't wait to get out of our town, couldn't wait to get out of, you know. And she loves it in the city and I love that she loves it. But I have to say after maybe her first year, she came home and she goes, uh, I, I, I have to tell you, there's a group of people in the city that are kind of rude.

And I was like, my ears perked up. I go, Oh, she goes, you know, she goes, the Asian people are kind of rude. And I'm like, oh, is that so? You know? You know, Laurie, you know, and I know you're from New Jersey. I got to move on, but that was a great call. I'm going to comment on your call because I got to move on. But that reminds me, again, you know, we love the Sopranos here and stuff,

of the episode when they send their daughter their daughter Meadow to Columbia University. And she comes back and anything that Tony would he had diarrhea. He was in the bathroom on one episode at like three in the morning and everybody's up in the house. And Meadow's like, who is in there? And Carmela goes, your father has diarrhea. He went to an Indian restaurant. She goes, that is so fucking racist. And then her bike gets stolen at Columbia.

And she knows it's a, she found out it was a black kid or something. But Tony goes to her and Tony goes to Meadow and Carmella. Why don't you fucking both admit you're thinking exactly what I'm thinking right now. I mean, this is the world we live in, folks. But, you know,

I feel, Laurie, I feel, you know, I don't know. So you're watching your daughter get brainwashed. Maybe you should jump in and force her to go to DeVry and learn a vocation before she becomes too polluted.

But you know what's going to happen to your daughter? She's going to get her brain filled with that shit and then, like you said, she was in the city for a couple months. She finds out, ooh, Asian people might be a little rude or whatever. And once she gets her first check, when she gets her real job and sees the taxes,

she won't have a fucking, you know, eventually people grow up because the nonsense being taught on college campuses is for fucking children. Excuse me. There was no need of that, was there? I campuses is for fucking children. Excuse me. There was no need of that, was there? I'm a real fucking cow. Oh, your mother's mom. Let's go to Ken in Chicago. Kenny boy, what's going on?

Oh, boy, Nick, I got to tell you, I don't want to do a this is your life thing, but you got me. I've been a fan of yours for years. Ever since you compared the Pope John Paul II, saying he had the posture of a jumbo shrimp, you got me so hard on that one. And every time you're on Red Eye, I couldn't wait to see it because, oh, my God, you made me laugh.

You're the only one that really makes me belly laugh. You're the top three comedians of all time in my opinion. Of course, I love Bill Burr and I love Doug Stanhope, but you are right there. Hey, hold Kenny.

Let me just tell you something. You just mentioned me, Doug Stanhope, and Billy Burr. What do we all have in common? You guys are fucking hilarious. No. What do you have in common? You guys are fucking hilarious. No.

What do you have in common with me? We're all from Massachusetts. We're all from Boston. Oh, no. Oh, Boston. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You know, I never put that together.

It's the Mecca. It's the Mecca, Ken, for comedy. It's like Michigan. I'm telling you, you should be fucking done. Go ahead. Dude, I've went to Doug Stanton. I'm still at Tickets Available. But you and Billy Burr, I'm telling you, Billy, you don't really do Chicago much.

I gotta tell you, Billy Burr's doing five shows out here. Can't get a ticket. Can't get a fucking ticket. Well, I know. Billy Burr's much more famous than me. I mean, Billy Burr, you know. Well, I'm just saying. But he's not that much funnier than you. That's what I'm saying.

You three are like, are the fucking fucking whatever you want to call it i appreciate it my existence thank you but anyway what i wanted to say real quick ken i just gave you two minutes real quick yeah yeah real quick comedy from politics i don't agree with everything you say as a matter of fact i don't can't we disagree i like some of the stuff that the trump administration does i want to talk about trump really quick yeah I like some of the stuff that the Trump administration does. I want to talk to you about Trump really quick. But you've got to agree that the guy is morally lost

and just a piece of shit as a human being. Yeah, they do some good things up there and I'm really glad about the economy going and all that stuff. You defend him

as if he's perfect. Hold on, hold on. Kenny, Kenny, Kenny, you said, what did you say?

He's morally, what did you say? He's morally corrupt? Morally bankrupt. Oh, morally bankrupt you say? He's morally, what did you say? He's morally corrupt? Morally bankrupt. Oh, morally bankrupt. I said corrupt. Yeah, no, morally corrupt. As opposed to everyone's ever sat in that fucking office, including the guy before him.

No, no, no, I know, but at least they pretended to be somewhat. Oh, oh, oh, oh, hold on, hold on. Oh, oh, I get it. So you want a phony. You'd prefer a phony fucking guy. You hate him for the same reason I love him. You know, I want somebody that when I go to bed at night, listen, I want somebody when I go to bed at night,

at least, like, you know, at least he said the right thing. At least, you know, I could go to sleep. This motherfucker, I don't know if I'm going to wake up. What world am I going to wake up from? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I can't believe you like my comedy with that attitude. He's a fucking bull in a china show.

Well, you love my comedy because it's honest, and so is fucking Trump. You were saying you'd rather a politician talk like a politician. No, no, no, no, no. I just want us to agree that when it comes to being a human being, the guy's kind of a piece of shit. You got to agree. No, I agree. I don't like his personality.

He didn't get enough love from his dad. Okay, okay. You know what? You know what? I'm a fan for... Thank you, Ken. You're one of the funniest fucking dudes I've ever seen. Thank you, Ken.

I'm going to hang up now because of my... And I'll comment on it. All right. Thanks. No, he's got a horrible personality. But being honest isn't one of the traits that's horrible about him. I mean, you just said you want a guy to fucking pretend. To pretend.

Fuck that. Go in and blow it up. Blow the system up. He's definitely a narcissist and conceited and braggadocious. He didn't. It's obviously psychology 101. His dad didn't give him enough love or a pat on the ass um but uh you know and and what he said about mccain i had a big problem with i don't

always i don't judge i judge by fucking results the way this country got great you think the fucking new york giants like bill parcells or the packers like Vince Lombardi. They hated their fucking guts. But it's about results. He just said he wanted to have a politician sound like a politician. See, that's the Chicago fucking way.

But I agree with you. No, absolutely. But fucking Obama? Talk about a phony hiding behind that big shit-eating grin. Fucking hated this country, everything it stands for, how it was founded. His first move is to remove Winston Churchill's fucking bust from the White House.

That was the most honest thing he ever did. Least transparent fucking administration ever. Trump loves the camera. He's a hog. He's a camera hog. He can't walk by the press corps without stopping and yapping i mean those that are but yeah his personality stinks absolutely but the honesty of it all i can't believe he's not getting a a zillion percent credit for going into dc we all agree

before trump even came along that dc was was broken and the politicians are all crooked and full of shit. Nothing gets done. So this motherfucker comes in and flips the apple cart over and people go, whoa, what's this guy doing? Jesus, give him some fucking credit for that, that Kenny boy. I love Chicago, by the way, as far as a comedy city. I used to play at the funny firm used to have me there twice a year. Still, my next special. By the way, I got I got the name at the funny firm. Used to have me there twice a year. Still, my next special. By the way, I got the name for my next special.

How about Nanik? You know, like Nanette? Your favorite comedy shows, the Twinks, Nanette? Nanik. That's right. I just watched her for the first time. People kept on asking me. I kept hearing about it.

And I pulled up some for the first time. People kept asking me. I kept hearing about it. And I pulled up some... Oh, my God. You know, a woman who looks, again, more manly than me with glasses. Who was supposed... You know, I guess she was raped as a kid. So it's all anybody who has testicles fault and whatever. Nick. Remember that.

My next special. Nick. Let's move on real quick. i i you know this is a pc i like the show today because it's about the p but how about the vatican to prove that i'm not a fucking righty i was raised catholic whatever that means uh vatican knew of Pennsylvania's sex abuse cover-up. Prosecutors say that. Hey, little boy, do you want some candy? This reaches all the way to the Pope. He's got to be hiding something out of that. You notice his hat looks like a lot of the NFL helmets now?

They're getting bigger with the concussion looking. The Vatican knew of a cover-up of child sex abuse by Roman Catholic priests in Pennsylvania through secret archives that bishops in the state shared with church leaders in Rome. They archived this shit. They knew there was molestation. You know why they archived it? It's like, like I said in my bit, it's like reading penthouse form letters to each other. Bite your tongue, Nick. Though the Catholic bishopssylvania systematically deny the sexual

abuse of thousands of children over a 70-year period they secretly documented the cases and often sent information on them to the vatican shapiro told two national news shows that's attorney general joe shapiro in pennsylvania shapiro first made the allegations against the vatican during hey we should get a special counsel. Let's get an international special. What's the version international version of Robert Mueller? Maybe we'll put him on it. There'll be some collusion with the Boy Scouts. They secretly documented Shapiro first made the allegations against the Vatican during an August 14th news conference to unveil a report on a two-year investigation into how Catholic clergymen in the state allegedly groomed and sexually abused children. I'm going to find out what the hell happened here.

It was largely based on documents from the archives kept by the state's six diocese and by the stains on the floor and the rectory. Oh, for the love of Christ! He said there are specific examples where when the abuse occurred, the priests would go, the bishops would go and lie to parishioners, lie to law enforcement, lie to the public. Are we talking about priest or politicians but then document all the abuse in secret archives they would share often sometimes with the vatican late at night over the phone in their pajamas i'm not making light of it look i was raised cat

whatever that means like i said by seventh grade i I was out of the whatever. But Jesus Christ, I think we've heard enough scandals to know. But this one reaches to the top because there's a guy who's the equivalent of a, you know, like a, you know, you know, the U.N. ambassador to whatever. They have that in religion. And this is like a guy high up in the papacy who's saying that the current pope knew about some of this shit. Didn't we play a clip yesterday of him denying it? We have that today, I believe. Oh, do we? Let's play what the pope had to say when he was questioned about it.

I will not say a word about this, Pope Francis told reporters. I believe the document speaks for itself. The 11-page letter by Italian Archbishop Carlo Maria Viganò alleges that back in 2013, he told Pope Francis of the allegations of sex abuse against former Cardinal Theodore McCarrick. But he writes the pontiff ignored that and allowed McCarrick to continue to publicly serve the church for another five years. The 88-year-old McCarrick resigned from his role as cardinal earlier this summer amid a wave of sex abuse allegations, including many involving seminarians.

It's just like Penn State, only with better helmets. The Pope was paternal in this situation. Ophelime Bonnebelle, a dominoes for Bisco e Bene Selle on his dominoes. He was slick with his... This guy's too political, this Pope, by the way. Fucking, he would fit in perfect with a Pelosi crowd. He's always weighing in on fucking climate change and uh you know all kinds of uh horseshit you can tell by his bling that uh um but uh if he

this is huge this is he should step down if we get to the bottom he didn't deny it in that thing he didn't really deny it he said i refer to the documents and then somebody you know held up a picture of a cub scout look like he got hit with vanilla ice cream i uh what i'm just saying let's shut it down already i have a personal experience and this is i this, I think, maybe on this show or something. But when I was, I don't know, 10 or 11, we had a priest at our, you know, I was a cute little boy. He wanted to take me and my brother to a Celtics game. He came down our street on foot. He was talking to our neighbors across the street.

Then he saw me in the front yard and, you know, Father so-and-so. And he starts talking and wants to take me and and and my brother to like a Celtics and my dad having the instincts of a good homophobe uh comes over and goes uh what's going on here and and by then I think my mother came out to say hi to the whatever and my father said no definitely not the old man my old man he's the one he's to lay in bed on sunday mornings and uh my mother would go to church and uh i'm glad he stepped in because who would have known what you know go ahead right i got a story about uh my dad uh running he had with a priest he he had a run-in with a priest he was literally running okay he was on a jog when he

was like 16 or something and then he ran by you know a priest in like the middle of the night and uh you know this priest in his car by his car and he says young man can you come help me bring these boxes to my church and my dad was like nope nope sorry father nope and the guy kept insisting like no please please come to my church. Help me. These boxes are heavy. And then he was like, nope, sorry, Father. I got to go. And he just took off, and he ran home as fast as he could. Well, hardly an indictment.

Maybe the boxes were heavy. I don't know. Something creepy in the middle of the fucking night. What was your dad wearing? A belly shirt? You know, a belly shirt and shirt. In the middle of the night? Yeah, he was running out, like, you know, 9, ten o'clock at night or some shit, probably.

And the priest asked him, but maybe the priest was just old. You think he really wanted to bang him? I don't know. Yeah, no, again, again, you know, let's not prejudge, but we've heard enough of these fucking stories. But this one, it never got to the top. This is like Paterno, Urban Meyer type of shit. And let's put a special prosecutor on it.

Let's get to the bottom of it. But this Pope's always weighing in. And I don't know. Let's go to Joe in Long Island. Joe, what about the Catholic Church? What's up, Nick? What's happening? Well, it's absolutely disgusting what's going on,

and this Pope shouldn't just have to resign. He should be sitting in front of a fucking jury explaining what he knows about child rape. This has been going on for a little too long, and it's kind of been swept under the rug the same way Muslims sweep. You know, when a bomb goes off, there's always a but or an asterisk of why it happened.

And it's the same thing going on with Catholics. You go to church, you support them. Yeah. You're turning a blind eye to it. And I was raised Catholic. I got a 14-month-old. The only reason why he got baptized was because of my wife. I don't want him to have anything to do with the church.

Isn't it funny? It seems, Joe, it seems it's always the husband. Like in my case, my mom believes in a church. And my dad, I think he pretended, but he didn't, you know, well, he didn't pretend. He'd lay in bed on Sunday morning going, get the church or you're going to hell. And I'd say, well, why aren't you going to hell? I'm fucking married to your mother, I'm going to hell. hell but uh no i think you make a good point yeah you make a good point yeah if you're going to church and you know this shit is going on you're complying

with it the same way we criticize is muslims for going hey motherfuckers you guys you guys are compliant with this shit because you don't call it out. We're all the Catholics going, hey, we want fucking justice for all these fucking kids. Because it's not, you know, if it was one, if it was a few priests here and there, I don't know if you saw the movie Spotlight with Michael Keaton and everybody in it. Yes, I did. It happened in Boston. Yeah, I mean, the only reason why it didn't break out earlier is because 9-11 happened.

They didn't put it in the newspaper because it would have been pushed all the way back to the newspaper. So they had to wait a few years to bust it out. And all these fucking priests that did it, they get relocated. Oh, I know. They get relocated. I know. Multiple offenses. I know. Thank you for the call, Joe.

So, Catholic. Sorry, I got to go, man. I'm up against the clock here because I have to get out of here. But I did see Spotlight. But I wouldn't point to an anti-Christian movie coming out of Hollywood as evidence until they start making anti-Muslim movies. But yes, I mean, what makes this case different is this guy, this high guy high up in the papacy is saying that he actually went to the pope with this. And this McGarrett guy was doing this for years. This is the highest has ever reached.

So I don't know how it works. I don't know who's going to come in and, you know, prosecute. But he should be pulled in front of a grand jury. I don't know. You know, whatever. But definitely. I mean, we've seen enough of this to know it's figuring. And they do. They shuffle them around.

It happened in Boston years ago, a few years ago. That was the first big story, which I think the Spotlight movie was based on that. But they just moved people around. They send this bishop to Minneapolis, hide this guy up in Vermont. It's like a lot of shit goes on sports. You hear about wrestling coaches

at colleges getting reassigned and stuff. I don't know how you look a blind eye to this stuff, but you know Let's take one more call because I have to get the hell out of here get my car and Let's uh, let's go to a bow Johnston About Ron DeSantis and the end the quote, which was what we were talking about earlier. Hey, Bo, what's going on?

Hey, Nick, listen, I mean, I'm not a big conspiracy guy, but this fake news thing, I'm done. I'm done. I'm just done. You and your listeners, I mean, I owe it to you guys to tell you the truth, all right? You guys have been duped. I owe it to you guys to tell you the truth. You guys have been duped. I want you and all your listeners, you've got to look up the actual quote.

He wasn't talking about the man. He was talking about socialist policies and the tax increases that come with it. Look up the actual quote, and you guys are going to go crazy. I just owed it to you and your listeners. I'm not going crazy. What's going on? No you i'm not going crazy i'm not going no i'm not going crazy i i i don't like i said he's a military guy and stuff to serve with people of all colors and i i don't think it was a dog whistle or any of that shit i'm just saying don't you think as a politician in this fucking climate this hypersensitive pc climate that he should know

better i'm not saying I'm not validating what his critics are saying. Don't you think that was my only point. He had to know he was going to catch a little shit, no? No, if you read the CNN article or whatever article you read, yeah, you would think that. You would think

that he was referring to the guy. I'm saying go on Fox News, go on a credible source, or just look up the actual video on youtube of him and his speech of what he actually said and he didn't even bring the guy up he was talking about bernie sanders in his policies of tax increases the guy's name was never even brought up and then for some reason that got tied into the c CNN and all these other fake news outlets run with this story.

It's absolutely absurd. I just, I mean, this is insane and I just want all your listeners to actually look at the actual comment that he made the video and then they'll know that we've got a serious problem

in this country of fake news. I think we knew that 20 years ago, fake news. But, okay. There's 19 different sources for 19 different stories, and it takes me four hours to prepare for this, so I'll actually look at that, too. But you're absolutely right. In this hypersensitive climate, and I don't even know what the source was that I read it from, but we'll check it out, Bo.

But I'm not fucking duped by any of it. Believe me. I'd vote for the guy tomorrow. All right, yeah. Thanks, Bo. What's that? You got what? The full quote?

Go ahead. What source? From what source, Chase? He said it during an interview on fox news he said the last thing we need to do is monkey this up by trying to embrace a socialist agenda with huge tax tax increases and bankrupting the state right which okay i'm sure the guy's running against that that that that what he was implying right that's like the guy's running against those are his politics but he didn't mention the guy and i don't think the article i read i mean they mentioned the guy's name but the hell is it we're on the floor already uh whatever anyhow um

ron desantis don't don't worry about it. But fine. You know, there's 19 sources. You know what to believe. That was from Fox News. Now somebody will call up to me and say, well, that's fucking Fox News. They're pro-Republican, pro-DeSantis. And whatever.

I don't think that changes my point in this day and age to use it. You know? That's fair. You have to be as cautious as possible, which is stupid. I'm assuming what you just read, read it again. All right. The quote is, the last thing we need to do is monkey this up by trying to embrace a socialist agenda with huge tax increases and bankrupting the state. Socialist agenda, huge tax tax which is implying the

guy's running against who happens to be black but i understand the guy's point the guy who called them beau is exactly right it's gotten a point where you know it's i'm a politician and my opponent is black. I don't say monkey. I don't say banana in my house. I don't say... This is the fucking crazy world we live in. But absolutely, CNN would run with it.

Let me see where I got that. Jeffrey Schweres wrote this. At Tallahassee.com. Whatever. Anyhow. I have a thing about there's a list

as a white straight male words that I no N word no J no C I'm down to a fucking r and a w my next special is going to be a silent film anyway hey thank you to all the callers and i'm sorry i didn't get to you all um the show again it was streams live on youtube and facebook

live go to nick dip.com to get all my tour dates heading intoading into the city now to do the Village Underground. We appreciate the support, folks. And remember, you think it, I'll say it. I'll take the heat. You're welcome. See you guys tomorrow. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 I'm going to go ahead and do that. Bye.