The Nick DiPaolo Show - Prick Putin Pushes Forward | Nick Di Paolo Show #671

Episode Date: March 3, 2022

Kherson captured. Boebert attacked by both sides. DeSantis over it. Feces bandit cusses judge. Dancing fool. Another soccer death.

I am so sick and tired of the liberal agenda that is destroying our country from our schools to our workplaces to our media. It's literally everywhere. Well, everywhere maybe, but not this show. Never. Here you get the truth, unfiltered and unapologetic. I don't care if I hurt feelings or if I take a position that isn't agreeable or if I step on somebody's toes. I call them the way I see them and I put it out there for free. To keep this show free, I need your help. Please go to nickdip.com and make a contribution or even better, subscribe at thecomicsgym.com or on Patreon today and get

an extra encore show each day. Discounts on merchandise and a whole lot more. Thank you guys so much for watching, sharing, and contributing to the best show, in my opinion, on the internet and the most honest. You guys make it happen. guitar solo Oh yeah. Welcome to the show. Final day of the week on a Thursday. How are you folks? Good to be with you.

Obviously, Ukraine. All kinds of stuff going on down there i don't know why they couldn't strafe i don't know what nato's for somebody's gonna have to explain it to me i really it seems like you know i don't know if i said this yesterday putin is living in his head like in 1945 and the rest of the world it seems is like is like, you know, we're past the war point killing people, you know, it sort of feels that way to me, but that being said, you got that convoy 40 miles long, what better time to strafe a fucking, you know what I mean, they're bumper to bumper, you blow up a couple of those, maybe they did. I don't know. Look, I know it's complicated.

You do that, be ready for... We can't do it. Then we're in a hot war with Russia and both of us have the nukes. Can't we have... Germany, they like to kill people. Tell them it's Jews. Whatever. Anyhow, we'll get to that. That's like the lead story. I want to

thank all you guys out there who sent me emails and well wishes about the passing of my best friend, Greg Zook. I just want to show you something. It was my 60th birthday on January 31st.

He was, what, three years ahead of me or four years? His birthday is like a few days before mine. And I had mentioned months ago that I wanted, I wish I saved my college helmet from the University of Maine football because I did with my high school one. And I just mentioned it in passing. And sure enough, a couple days after my birthday, he came up to our house, and this is what he made me.

I actually sort of knew it was coming because I said to my wife, I'm going to go, I think I'm going to make myself a main helmet, you know, to put on the shelf. This is in my office. And she's like, don't, don't, don't, don't. And then I go, okay.

And then she was showing me texts of Zook working on this thing, and it was fucking making him nuts. He found this in Colorado. It's in a helmet from the 80s, which is when I played. You know, fucking might as well be leather. And he kept getting the wrong size M. He's like, you know, cockeyed and painting it and fucking took him, like, whatever.

But he shows up with it. This is the type of guy he was. I mentioned it in passing. And yeah, so that, every time I look at that now, it's actually a good memory. But him and my wife, my wife is more upset than me. They hit it off so well. Similar interests, history and shit. There's so much history living here, Savannah. Everything's, you know. And I used to read history and loved it. Now I'm dead inside. I laid on the couch while they're checking out where the slaves came in and whatever the fuck. My wife's telling me that. We did so many things together, and he said,

you should have been doing with us. And I go, now are you saying this to manipulate me? You're going to drag me to all kinds of fucking antique shops and shit? Well, now Gianna and I are just going to have to pull you out. Oh, Christ. Yeah, no. You know my mother said that?

My mother said that. She goes, you're a producer. He's like your only human friend now, right? I go, yeah. And I told her all about it. Human, you know what I mean? A live friend. Physical. Zook was the only guy. All my high school friends, you go your separate

ways. Your college buddies, you go your separate ways. Even my brother Greg's been all over the country. But this guy was a constant in my life. Always there. And so much, he was floating around. He was a little bit of a lost soul, Greg. Never had kids, never had a wife. Just sort of like Kung Fu, that show back in the day in the 70s. You sort of drifted from whatever. And when I moved down here, he bought a house two and a half hours away in the middle of nowhere, like cops do, and worked on it all frigging for a year and a half. And he had hired a ex-convict to work on it with him. I mean, a fucking white dude with tattoos and

prison tattoo and Zook hired him. And the guy was a great fucking worker and so when we heard about this, me and my wife, our minds went right to him, which isn't really fair but the lead detectives asked me if he had any and I said there's only one guy that we can think that we don't, you know.

Anyways, the type of guy he was though. I don't think it's still sunk in yet i feel like something's missing i can feel it almost like you lose a finger or something there's something missing it's a weird with my dad i knew it was coming because he was sick with alzheimer's seven six seven years so yeah it was very sad but i knew it was coming. This is just unexpected. But he always joked about how he would go because his family had no longevity. Always said shit like, he was a dark, he was obsessed with that shit

to the point where I used to have to yell at him. I go, look, I'm dark enough. I'm like a dark fucking cloud. I said, Jesus Christ, you make me look like a fucking carrot top. Relax. Anyways, so let's, what do we got? Lead story. Thank you guys again for all the support.

Russian forces have captured their first major Ukraine city, Kherson. That's French. I'll say Kerson. Local officials have confirmed, as the Kremlin vowed to continue the war until the end. I don't like the sound of that coming out of a nutcase. Local officials had initially contested Russia's claim that it had taken control of the crucial Black Seaport city of about 300,000 people early Wednesday, but they conceded defeat late last night when Mayor Igor Kolikhaev detailed a series of new rules for citizens after armed visitors. Gee, are we still using... That reminds me now, another beef, nothing big. When did I become a guest? When I go to a coffee

shop or you go to Arby's or when they call you a guest now. What am I fucking sleeping over tonight? Fucking I'm a guest. Give me a handjob there. Fucking 19 year old behind the dumpster. What? Oh, he's a good looking kid. Physique. Anyways, new rules for armed visitors. Storm this armed visitors. That's what the UK... This is where we are in the world. How about dirty, filthy Russian fucking... Invaders. Invaders.

We don't even say that in this country. Storm the city council, which included locals. Too bad they didn't storm... That's what we need. We need our army to fucking storm a school board meeting over here. Spray the... They'll probably be on the school board meeting over here and spray them. They'll probably be on the school board side. That's a sad part. Anyways, which included locals allowed to go out only in pairs and drivers having to go slow and being ready to show the contents of their

transport at any moment. The, Will Robinson. Danger. No, Will Robinson. Danger. The military will not be provoked. Stop at the first, this is the mayor talking, stop at the first demand, he wrote in a Facebook post. So far, this is how it is, he conceded. He said that the Ukrainian flag was still flying, stressing, and to keep it the same, these requirements must be met.

The mayor added he was willing to talk because of the huge difficulties faced since the invasion, including the collection and burial of the dead, as well as the delivery of food and medicine. We had no weapons and we're not aggressive. We showed that we are working to secure the city and trying to deal with the consequences of the invasion, he said. I made no promises to them. I just asked not to shoot people, he said. And, of course, they responded. That's a sick question.

You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer. Perfect English, this guy. It was a key breakthrough for Russia, which has faced mounting signs of trouble in the invasion, with demoralized troops meeting tougher resistance than they expected. Yeah, well, but the aggression continued for an eighth day Thursday with a barrage of missiles continuing to hit several key cities, including Mariupol, whose mayor told CNN it had been shelled for 26 hours straight. I'm staying right here. Jesus Christ.

That's the thing, man. You know, when they start hitting residential areas and fucking whatever, I don't think their bombs are as smart and precise as ours. You know Putin's embarrassed. I feel like he's a football coach and first string went out there and shit the bed in the first quarter. And it's halftime. Now he's fucking like Belichick.

Here's what we're going to do. Blitz, blitz, blitz. There's pictures of Russian soldiers having tea and like crying and shit. So, look, I'd make fun of them, but after all the woke shit I heard about in our military and actual soldiers who defend that woke shit, I'm not going to make fun of nobody. But anyways.

Well, there are a ton of veterans right now that are actually headed over that aren't in anymore, obviously. They actually had a problem getting over because of the visa requirements, which Zelensky lifted, so that way he could expedite. Oh, is that right? Yep.

Dallas already did his two tours, and he went back under a company. So veterans are going back. Now, when you say that, are they probably younger guys or no? Probably, right? It's a good mix, actually. Is it, really? A lot of guys my age are headed over, too. No kidding.

It's in their blood, huh? Fighting? I'd be right over there with them, but, you know. I know. I know. You've got a girlfriend, a wife, two kids, right? A couple of Puerto Rican kids that you don't know about that I do. Don't hold that against me't know about that I do.

He goes, I'd be over there, but I got a steady grip. That's the reason I go over there. The fuck. I was looking at fucking signing up. They said, no, your fucking shoulders are asymmetrical, first of all. You get flat feet, which I really do. I don't think they'd hold that against me. And I like to suck a prick. So anyways, what? Gilligan, little buddy. But that is unbelievable. Think about that. Those guys already saw action

and lucky they're alive and they're going to go back. Somebody has to believe in it. Poor Gutfeld. He's got his mother-in-law over there. And he was trying to get an extraction team and she, I think she might be coming back. I don't know, I'm not sure. Imagine, I'm hearing stuff, can you hear it?

I'm hearing guys talking. Is this show bugged? Is it in Russian? Yeah. Comrade, I have something interesting. Wolf Dragon. Colorful names. Abort immediately. I could hear it anyways.

I have just a little static. That's all right. I don't think it's fucking interesting though. Gone. What is it? I wish I knew. These guys out there. Let's move on. Hey, you know, we like that. Is it Lauren Bobear? I don't know her first name. I think it is. Lauren Bobear busting balls during the State of the Union. Anyways, I always say that the women in the Republican Party have a lot more balls. You know, Marjorie Taylor Greene and our friend Lauren Bobear, little cutie. Looks like Tina Fey doing a character. Anyways, Bo Behr doubled down Wednesday.

As you know, she was heckling the president. We showed that yesterday, right? She was heckling Biden during the State of the Union address over his chaotic Afghanistan withdrawal that left 13 U.S. soldiers dead. And she had the balls to let him know about it. This is why we like her. She don't play. The left is, this is her talking, the left is pissed because I called out Biden's botched withdrawal from Afghanistan

that left 13 of America's finest in a flag-draped coffin. They are mad because a speech was interrupted. Ask the families who's lost their loved ones how interrupted their lives are now, the Colorado Republican tweeted on Wednesday morning, which makes her a fucking bad person in D.C. Is the video coming? Sorry. Right after this. Right after, okay. The night before, Boebert shouted at the president as he spoke about veterans' exposure to toxic burn pits.

What was he talking about then? Where? Yeah, he was talking about it when he was talking about how he was trying to bring his son, Bo, into the mix. Oh, back in the day, they were exposed to this shit? Yeah. Mentioning his late son, Bo, in the process. But we'll show the clip again of her picking an opportune time.

He says something about flag-draped coffee, and she used it to heckle him. And they come home, many of the world's fittest and best-trained warriors in the world. Never the same. Headaches, numbness, dizziness. A cancer that would put them in a flag-draped coffin. Well, whose fault is that? I know. Thirteen.

You put them in there, 13 of them. And look at Miss Graham. Mrs. Lindsey Graham getting upset. And there's a black dude checking out her ass. I mean, I got gotta admit, the brothers are just like us. That transcends race, piggishness. Guaranteed he's looking at her ass.

The woman in the front there, see her laughing? Guessing she's Republican. But there's Marjorie Taylor Greene, who I wouldn't wrestle. Looks like she could kill me in one move. And Lauren Boebert, And you know what? Fucking A. Like I said yesterday, I wish it was more like Parliament over in England, the way

they do it, where you could, yeah, Eliza, boo! They boo and hiss and heckle and whatever. But he left an opening. You can't, look, I understand why people piss, because then it would just turn into shouting matches. It would be like doing comedy when people are drunk. I know that. Anyways. But good for her. Good for you. Don't take no shit off nobody, spider.

The reference to the death of 13 U.S. service members who were killed in August bombing at Kabul's airport drew shouted objections from other members. You know, the people that hate this country. The interjection drew comparisons from some commentators to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi ripping up her copy of then President Donald Trump's State of the Union. Do you remember that? What's worse? I'd say that. Two words came out of their mouth and that fucking... She's a malignant... Oh she is and she's 81. I cannot wait till, I cannot wait till we read in the paper she tripped over a clothes basket and fell down 14 flights.

Of course, she wouldn't be doing her own laundry. Beaubier defended her remarks following Biden's speech, tweeting, When Biden said flag-draped coffins, I couldn't stay silent. I told him directly he did it. He put 13 in there. A heroic serviceman and women deserve so much better. Amen. Her double-down defense comes as both current and former members of Congress

on both sides of the aisle slammed her and fellow conservative rep Marjorie Taylor Greene for their hackling during Tuesday like they've never done. My favorite one was that guy, was it the Senate? Is it Wilson or is that the movie, Senator Joe? But when, you know who was talking, Obama, and he went, liar. His last name was Wilson. It was about healthcare or shit, I think. Anyways, I wanted to fucking, they should allow each side three heckles.

Controlled heckling. But that speech was, like I said, I changed the fucking channel. And I never do, even when I hate it. It was just so disgusting and dis-fucking-honest. We're still buying oil

from fucking Russia. And he's talking about putting these, how bad these sanctions are. They sort of cancel each other out. You're still buying oil. What? Just lie. Then he just starts listing shit. Better women's pregnant family leave. Then just a laundry list, and you're like, did he say he's going to do these things, or they should be? It's, anyways, throughout Biden's speech, Greene was spotted making face. Oh, fuck. I wish I read this last night. And muttering, particularly when the president, she was making faces, spoke out about administering COVID-19 vaccines to children.

She also yelled out, build the wall, when Biden said that it was necessary to secure the border. Again, he's saying secure the border while he's bringing people in. In the fucking dark of night. What a piece of fucking human trash. And again, he's out of his mind. It's the AOCs. Whoever else has their hand up his ass. Senator John Thune, Republican, told CBS Mornings Wednesday that the antics of Boebert and Greene had been inappropriate.

Who gives a fuck what you think? Yeah, Mr. Thune. He's usually pretty good. Let me ask you a question, press. Did you ask all the other Republicans who said no problem? You know, you should have done another insurrection. All of you Republicans would have jumped out of your seat

and just drowned them out and say, Trump won. Which he did. That'll all come out eventually. Interesting times, interesting times, interesting times. Where the fuck am I? What am I doing?

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I have TMJ. No, no, no, no! Ooh, in our fucking lunatic segment, florida governor ronnie de santis i'm loving this guy uh with a stern and pointed tone addressed the ridiculous nature of covid theater 19 ahead of his press conference at the university of south Florida on Wednesday, as many of those standing behind him were posing with masks. He was the best guy around. I, uh, I'm at a stop sign on the way here today.

Look over, guy in a car by himself. Young, not old. Look at, maybe, do you guys get like me? Do you get in a blind rage? That bothers me more than somebody cranking their hip up. I want to reach in the car and fucking choke the life out of it. What kind of mentality, unless, you know, your immune system is gone and you're an AIDS patient, or maybe you're coming from chemo.

Other than that, what the fuck are you thinking? Even in the supermarkets, I want to get a running start. A fucking lady in there holding her little kid's hand. I want to get a running start. She's looking at the apples. I want her to fucking

like Mark Gastineau in the fucking 80s. Driller right in the middle of the back of my head. But you know what happened? I break my neck. You should be laughing because I'm old. The governor held a press conference at the university to announce investments in cybersecurity, workforce education. But right before he took the podium,

he could be heard speaking to the individuals behind him. Many who were wearing masks you out translate it for you because you can't really hear what he says I hope it's in the article but here he is I'm not doing anything. We got to stop. We want to wear this car. This is ridiculous. Disgusted. That's a guy. You know what?

Remember we were going to make Cuomo. They were going to give him a fucking Emmy for her during the COVID. How about this guy? He's been ahead of the curve for two years. Come to Florida. You don't have to wear a mask. You got fucking pussies. Why is everyone so fucking stupid?

I don't know. Why aren't more people interrogated? Right. I don't know. You go now. The beginning of the government's live stream show, the popular conservative addressing a group, people standing behind the podium,

DeSantis can be heard saying this. Where the hell is it? What? I know, but where are the words? Anyways, he then turned around, placed his binder on the podium, shook his head, sighed before starting the press conference, at least for the individuals in the background, looked around, removed them. Oh, I took it out of there because I thought we could, I thought it was going to be the, you know. Anyways, he said, you can take those masks off. And he said, we're done with this mask theater. I'm paraphrasing. This is ridiculous. I love it. He sculled, and a few of them did take them off. They were smirking. Of course, a black kid wouldn't listen to a white guy. The Santas,

who was champion of liberty in his state, much to the dismay of lockdown leftists, many of whom have flocked to vacation in his state, ironically, has consistently questioned the so-called science behind mask masking and waged a war against leftists who sought to... Look, you hear the language, he waged a war against leftists. Don't say that when there's a real war going on. How about he talk some sense into these left-wing cum guzzlers? That's much nicer. Sounds nice in Italian. Who sought to force schoolchildren to wear masks across the Sunshine State,

contending that such decisions should be left to parents. Oh, how radical. He has also floated, I like this idea, workers' bill of rights to combat force masking enforced by employers. I didn't even know that was still going on. Force masking employees for the appearance of safety is not a sufficient justification. COVID theater has no place in Florida, he said over the weekend in a video.

Alongside Florida Surgeon General Joseph Ladapo, this guy's been on Fox a lot. Fucking really smart dude. And you know he's clean and, eh, I'm doing Biden. He's clean and articulate. You know, he's like one of those brothers wearing a do-rag and smoking pot, watching TV, trying to find a hood, babe, I'm on it. That's what Biden might as well have said.

Where they discuss Florida's new coronavirus guidance, which advises against wearing face coverings in a community setting, and states that Floridians should not be forced to wear a mask at work. Neither should anybody else. It's freedom, baby, yeah. Exactly.

It's freedom, baby, yeah. Say that again. It's freedom, baby, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that he talked to those kids. What the fuck are you doing? This guy in the car next to me. Oh, my God.

My blood pressure. What the fuck are you doing? This guy in the car next to me. Oh, my God. My blood pressure. What's that? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm way off, dude. Go ahead. Go ahead. These health protocols are based in evidence, but we have no need for any theater in Florida. And so if you're force masking employees just for the appearance of safety, that is not a sufficient justification and you're not doing best by your employees.

Which which most of it is, it's just that. I guess some people like to be in theater, like all the people I'm seeing in the suit. I love that he's using the word theater because that's all it is. That's all it is. You might as well be watching Lynn Redgrave doing Sins of My Father. That was a one-man show my acting teacher dragged me to. She was a female, my acting teacher, who I love. She was just a great acting teacher, but I think she thought we were on a date. This was like 25 years ago.

Lynn Redgrave. Oh, my God. I was bored to tears. What was it? Letters from my God. I was bored to tears. What was it? Letters from my father. I don't know. Then I did a one-minute show called Backhanders from my father. You're getting beat the whole time.

Oh, man. It was a 65-minute show of this. Hey, how did that look the other day when I knocked Putin's head off? Fucking good. Did you guys enjoy that? I thought it was a nice visual touch. I don't condone violence unless it's a crazy dictator. Mentally ill chimp. Oh, I don't like that headline. That sounds, I got to talk to my other producer, Bobby. What's he, Bobby G? He writes these very crazy. The man accused of smearing human feces. We showed you that, right? You can tell Tommy's not watching the show ever. He writes these very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very the jurist and his victim a bitch. Wonder if he be white.

No. Got a white name, though. Frank Abroqua. There he is. 37 years old. Can I ask you a question, anybody out there? I understand there's a ton of mental illness out there, but why are the symptoms when it's in black people

violence against other people? Nick, that's not true. White people, not as much. Not as much. Again, inner city, I understand. But it's very funny. They attack all white and Asian ladies and shit. I don't see all white crazy people doing that.

They just lay in their own shit and shoot heroin like you're supposed to, like a good homeless guy. Look at this fucking nutbag. He could be a rapist or a point guard for the fucking Lakers. What does that mean? I don't know. It sounded pretty funny when it came out of my fucking pie hole. Anyways, Frank Abroqua unleashed a tirade

in front of a Bronx criminal court judge on Tuesday barking that he was fucking tired of it. You're out of order! You're out of order! The whole trial is out of order! You're out of order! And then he stated, I'm hungry. Why am I still here?

What do you got a fucking appointment at Les Cirque? Appointment. God damn, I blew the joke. A reservation. Cut. What do you got, a reservation at fucking Les Cirque? Why am I still here? They want to charge me with a hate crime.

What would you call it? Do you know why he did it? He hit on her, and she reneged on his advances, and this is the response. And he's not like, he's just fucking, I don't want to say it, he's Polish. Brokaw was reportedly arrested

immediately after the court of parents in connection with the September 2021 hate crime, in which he allegedly, you hearing this, connection with the September 2021 hate crime, in which he allegedly, you hearing this, folks? This was another hate crime, which he allegedly threatened to kill a Jewish man. Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you. That's funny. We've had a Ukrainian soldier that sounded like Peshy, and now there's black.

Ukrainian soldier that sounded like Peshy and now there's black. Prior to that he was arrested on Monday in connection with his alleged February 21st attack against a 43 year old woman. Police said the woman was sitting on a bench inside the Bronx subway station East 244th Street when he approached and struck her in the face in the back of the head with human feces. That's only happened to me once. I got a D in English and my mother just had the runs. But she said this before she did it.

Bon appétit. Chilling video of the attack shows Urbaclaw standing behind the woman as he continues to strike her in the head before walking away. Here's the jerk. Take another look. Oh, God help me.

I can smell it from here. Nice guy. Nice guy. Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape. That lady had a really deep voice. He was ultimately charged with assault, reckless endangerment, menacing, disorderly conduct, and harassment. Look at him.

Cuckoo. NBA. Smart enough to have an NBA. What the? Lost soul. And I do. I want to go back to the parents or the guy or the woman who had him.

You know what I mean? What he did was fuck and just forget about him. He's got a beautiful smile. Too bad he's throwing shit at people. A prosecutor at his Tuesday arraignment said, uh, Abraquad had previously encountered the woman minutes earlier when he tried hitting on her. What do you do with hitting on somebody that's, hey man, wanna dance right here? Hey, uh, hey mammy? That's what he said? Hey, mammy, hey, mammy, why don't you talk to me? That's my opening line at Applebee's during happy hour.

But when she reneged, he tucked into an open subway train and took a shit in the bag, says deprecated, not as funny, before unleashing his disgusting attack. Excuse me. A criminal complaint related to the arrest describes how he smeared feces all over the woman's face, head, neck, shoulders, and back area. As he did, he allegedly said,

like this bitch? Just take him out, shoot him in the fucking mouth. When police interviewed him later, he told them, shit happens. This is him doing comedy. He goes, this is a shit situation. Oh, my God. Anyways, that sound prop don't work.

A broker had more to say during Tuesday night's court appearance. As the judge and attorneys discussed a protective order for the victim, he allegedly said, I don't know that bitch. According to the Daily News, after the judge suggested he discuss the cases with his attorney, Abroquois told her, why you disrespect? Boy, this guy is just every cliche. Why are you disrespecting me? Why am I being mistreated by this system? You see how ingrained it is in their head, the victimizer? Oh my God, it's so creepy. He reportedly added, I'm talking to my attorney.

Fuck you, bitch. A broke wire was released without bail. There you go, New York, in the case despite prosecutor's efforts but was then rearrested to answer to the hate crime allegations. He boasts at least 20 unsealed prior arrests with charges consisting of robbery, assault, forcible touching, criminal possession of stolen property, and aggravated harassment. He's a walking cliche. He's a parody.

I'll say it again. We don't have a crime problem. We have a black crime problem. Until, I don't know, until, pick a news person. David Muir on ABC can say that out loud. Or even our president. Never going to get better. Because you guys are just... We're in a place where you just can't even fix it.

If you don't have the balls to talk about it. Anyways, it's March already. That means I'm back on the road this month. You can find all the tour dates and ticket links on my website at nickdipp.com. Here's what's on sale currently. March 25th, Hyena's Comedy Club in Dallas. The next night on the 26th, Hyena's Comedy Club Fort Worth.

April 7th through 9th, Comics at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut. Excuse me. May 6th, Governor's Comedy Club in Levittown. May 7th, the next night, the Paramount Theater in Peekskill, New York. September 9th, Soul Joel's Comedy Club in Royalsford, Pennsylvania. The next night, September 10th, Algonquin Theater in Manisquan, New Jersey.

And September 11th, Sugarloaf Performing Arts Center in Chester, New York. And again, you can get all the links and the information for the tickets. Click my tour button at nickdip.com. Dancing Fool, the headline. The FBI arrested an aspiring social media influencer. Aspiring. Aspiring and influencer. That word, because nothing smart goes down on TikTok

other than China using it to infiltrate us, whatever the fuck goes on technically behind it. You don't want to be an influencer on TikTok, do you? After the FBI connected him to a series of robberies by identifying sneakers in his TikTok video. I wonder what color this kid is. Michigan resident, Chosen Terrell. Is that his first name? Chosen? C-H-O-Z-N.

So now black women are naming their kids like half the local rappers or like the word you'd see on a hip hop. Fuck. Chosen, C-H-O-Z-N, Terrell Hanna, 22, could be seen dancing while wearing Nike sneakers with red spots on that match the shoes worn by an armed robber who held up four stores from December to February Jesus Christ oh you talk about you talk about a black stereotype you

can check the ten boxes watching this kid Nick we're all the same and said no we're as different as our skin color okay okay this kid is a cliche this could be 1970 he's so stupid he wears stolen property on a tiktok video but let's take a look at this fucking parody of a black young black guy they noticed similarities between him and the suspect described by witnesses specifically his hair color and the sneakers he wore in this video investigators say they match the sneakers the suspect was wearing in surveillance video of the robberies look at him here you go it's not his fault 300 years ago, his grandfather was in Slatman. Is that right?

Is that what it is, really? What a dummy. What a fucking dummy. Grabbing his cock. Kid can move. So what? So can Dallas. Dallas should try to show me that move.

Last time he was at my house. An anonymous tip to appointed agents to the chosen world. Page on TikTok. Listen to this. This is the part that scares me. Which has more, he has more than 140,000 followers. Like to know how many are white and find their address. And 1.6 million likes.

It's more famous than me. Terrell Hanna allegedly robbed a 7-Eleven twice. Look at him. Purple hair, that's a sign of a fucking asshole. That mustache, what are you, in fourth grade? Robbed a 7-Eleven twice, folks. Understand that? Add that up, That's 1,422. And also robbed a gas station and a smoke shop. Are we checking all the boxes on black stereotypes?

Seems like a clean-cut kid. Oh, that dirty cogsucker. The robber in each of the cases was wearing a hoodie sweatshirt, a mask, and white shoes. But during the last robbery, witnesses noticed pink hair visible under the mask. The Detroit News said, really? Hey, where are the white women at? On TikTok. Playing to themselves here. Quick moves. Authorities told the outlet that they watched dozens of his social media videos and noticed he matched up with witnesses'

descriptions. In one video, he's dancing and singing a song with partially dyed pink hair visible. Again, this is street cred. He gets busted. You understand? It's all street cred in the black community. The FBI also said once it tracked Terrell Hanna after obtaining a warrant, cell phone data showed him in the area of the robberies during a raid of his residence. Could you be any more guilty? During a raid of his residence, agents found the Glock handgun, checked that box, and unique shoes. Important things that's important to the black men.

Sneakers, gun, dancing, puss hair. After his arrest on Wednesday, he allegedly admitted to the robberies. How couldn't you? You got enough evidence here to put you away for almost a week. He is awaiting a hearing in federal court in Detroit, facing charges of shitty dancing, shitty hair, horse shit mustache, affecting interstate commerce and possessing a firearm

during the violent crime. Oh, you go. You are. Oh, you're in deep shit. You know. Bye-bye, dickhead. Let me put on my stolen shit. Well, actually, it's not stolen,

but let me put on the shoes I was wearing when I robbed people. And go on TikTok. I bet you he comes from a two-parent household, huh? Yeah. Try it this way, fella. Sometimes a nice change. Little tip from Uncle Nick. That was creepy. Come over here, Teddy.

I want to tell you something. You can tell you to jerk it off. You ever watch Gladiator movies, Timmy? Yeah, there you go. Hey, somebody tell Mike Lindell you can't just put the word my in front of anything and call it your my slippers, my TVs, my fucking... You notice this? My prostitutes.

Let's move on, shall we, to the next story. Goal! Goal! Andre Chava, you can't go! A Stanford University soccer player who helped secure the school's 2019 NCAA Women's Soccer Championship was found dead in a campus residence, school officials said on Wednesday. Katie Meyer was a senior international relations major. First of all, if you're going to Stanford, you shop as a tack. And she's probably on scholarship. Those are the people who, you know, not the last guy dancing on TikTok.

He'll live well. Anyways. Senior international relations major and team captain. Ian Goldkeeper on the Stanford soccer team. The school said Katie was extraordinarily committed to everything and everyone in her world. Susie Brubaker called the vice provost for student affairs and director of athletics. Bernard Muir said in a statement, beautiful young girl. Boy, the soccer, right? Remember a couple of months ago, about four of them dropped it? More than that. We reported four, like, within a week, and then a couple more after that. And so, you know, the moral of the story is, soccer sucks. Don't play it. It kills people. It's like cigarettes.

we go again. Not disclosed. By the school. Let me take a guess. Let Nick put it together again. Oh my God. What happened? I read where Stanford students all had to be vaccinated. Oh, Nick, you're being paranoid. No, I'm not.

No, I'm not. Remember the story I did about the actuaries? How many people are dropping dead between the ages of 18 and 64? It's up 40% this year since the COVID bug. Again, I don't know that, but I'm just saying. Had to be vaccinated to be on the campus. So the cause wasn't disclosed. You know, like Bob Saget.

Oh, he banged his head. If you say so. Brubaker Cole earlier assured the campus community there was no threat to their safety other than me making you get vaccinated. You dink weed. You fucking

this smells fishy. I'm going to find out what the hell happened here. Sure I will. CNN has reached out to the Santa. Look at that little cutie. What a fucking horror. That's somebody's kid. Boy, I hope one of these cases they go,

you know what? She had cardio. What was that? Mias? Cardio minus muffler. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, again, we don't know that, but I'm just saying.

Jesus Christ, she couldn't look any healthier. CNN has reached out again to the Santa Clara County Coroner's Office and Stanford University Police for additional information on the cause and circumstances. They said we have to talk to Joe Biden first before we can tell you anything. Anyway, surrounding her death. I hope they do a follow-up. Because I don't think they do in these stories.

They hope we forget. And what up? Again, I don't know. But remember that cluster of soccer players in Europe, was it? Were they in Europe? Like four of them. Like in their 20s or 30s. Best shape of their lives

cardiomyitis mitis what the fuck anyways you know what i mean and uh and now her parents have to wonder about that that's why look i'm still by the way got to be honest with you guys, I did not get the Omicron. I got a nice dose of the original batch that they mixed up in that Wuhan lab. Because I am still exhausted, folks. And I'm not that type of, I am. The other day I fell asleep on the couch for three hours. Went to bed. I never go to bed before, too.

That might be another problem. But that night, I woke up from my nap, and I went to bed around 11, which is unheard of for me. And I slept through the fucking night like a baby. Something's going on. I am. I have that. I got COVID originally when it came out.

This might be the long COVID they call it or whatever the fuck. And I'm still coughing shit up. And my energy is for shit. That's why I'm going to do a blow today before I work out. And maybe some speciosa. I don't mean to.

Anyways, hey, before I go this week, and as always, I'd like to thank you guys who contribute to the show financially. It's how we keep a show on the internet, and it's you guys with a backbone. One-time contributions, Oystein Neisether, I hope I'm saying that right, Norway, Stephen Hughes of Texas, our buddy Larry Ramey in Ohio, Jason Posey of Florida, of course our buddy Paul Sagnella in Connecticut. Kevin Mitsopoulos, Canada. David Hertz of California.

Kit Fortney, Michigan. RIP Greg Zook, Washington. Thank you, whoever did that, my buddy Greg. Hollywood Looks, New York, New York. Gregory Burt of Maryland. Robert Curley and new monthly supporters right here in our show, Morgan, Arizona, a buddy named Riley, Steve Stanley, the Beatles, Steve Stanley from Kansas, and Scott Brown of Maryland, Joseph Hirsch of Ohio, Tyler Moore of Ohio, David Smith of Georgia

we thank all of you guys for your contributions and can't do it without you you know that that's it for the week thank you again for all your support as me and my wife go through a little bit of a tough time

getting over this guy who supposed to be heading up here this weekend. Anytime there was big UFC fights, I'd call him. Haven't missed one in whatever. So, thank you guys so much.

Don't forget patreon.com. Sign up there, thecomicsgym.com. And don't forget cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or relative. Go to cameo.com. I'll make a recording a friend or relative go to cameo.com i'll make a recording on my phone got a couple waiting for me now and uh you know we'll zing your friends or relatives it's a lot of fun you think and i'll say it you're very welcome we'll see you back here on monday have a great weekend everybody guitar solo作詞・作曲・編曲 初音ミク Outro Music