The Nick DiPaolo Show - Replay: Colin Quinn | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1895R

Episode Date: May 14, 2026

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idea. Get upstairs. There's no upstairs. Folks, how are you? Welcome to the show on a Wednesday. Great show today. Got a guest. We've had him on a few times because he's my closest friend in comedy. And I bet you a million people say that because he's that good a guy. And any comic that goes through New York, usually this guy without even asking, you'll ask him, and you end up, he takes on his wing and schools you, you know, used to tell me to calm down on stage and don't call everybody a fucking liberal asshole and they don't laugh. And I go, why not? The Great Colin Quinn is going to be with us. Excuse me. Sat down here and we talked about everything from living in L.A. next to each other to politics to how it is at the comedy cellar table, how the comics

are different. And he's a wealth of knowledge, as they say. So without further ado, here's my buddy the great Colin Quinn. My guest today, ladies and gentlemen, you know I'm obviously from S&L, a tough crowd, his one-man shows, which are killer. I went and saw on so many times, he goes, hey, you have to pay this time. I was just like freeloading. Long story short, unconstitutional, the New York story, red, blue states. It's our great friend and my best friend in the business, Colin Quinn. Hello, Quinny. Hi, Nick. What's happening? Oh, nothing. I'm just sitting around. I was just sending you that nice video and having a few laughs. I'll get to that in a second. If you guys don't know Colin, he loves, just loves Billy Crystal videos. He thinks he's a terrific writer and actor and I disagree with him wholeheartedly. And he and yeah, fuck it. Let's get right to it. He sends me clips for the last 10 years of anything that any movie Billy Crystal's in. Steve Martin.

Who's the other one? Oh, Mrs. Delfire. And he just, you guys, if I showed you the clips he's something, you're like, well, that's funny. Because you don't do comedy and can't write like, you know. Well, go ahead. You just send me. Go ahead. Yeah.

My dream, which the fans would probably appreciate, is to have you tied down in one of those easy chairs and make you watch. Notting Hill. Oh, God. My life in ruins. There's two I haven't seen. And a couple of, maybe a couple of chick flicks.

And maybe City Slickers, too, Legend of Curly's Gold. He just, just, just sent me a clip of City. slickers too and I just it's so funny I gonna be honest Colin I mean you sort of most comics that come through Newer get educated like you know Colin as to what's garbage or whatnot when you show up your young comic you don't know but um even I when I was a little uneducated in a comedy there's something very corny about Billy Crystal I didn't know I didn't dislike him I mean I used to see him on he's he was the best Oscar host ever

By far. Oh, I like the, you know who? Who do I? Oh, I'm thinking of the ESPs. I was thinking of normally. Nobody's even close. You know who is good? No, I know.

He's perfect for that, right? So what you're saying is that's what he should be doing. Yeah, no, he's great at that stuff. The one-line stuff. But I, Colin would leave me a message or text me going, I think I've told this the last time you're on, but put on HBO right now, they're doing a documentary on Bill Hicks,

and I'd flip into it, and it was like Mrs. Delfire. fucking, you know, the direct is cut. Direct as cut of some shit. And you would always take a second, you know, what the hell? What? What? I would literally get excited because I thought it was a Hicks thing.

And what is your, what is your beef? Did you see Billy Crystal's one-man show? No. Oh, Jesus. Did I? This is how old I am. Why do I think I saw it? 800 Sundays?

Whatever the fuck. Yeah, I didn't seven on a Sunday. I didn't see it. I heard it was good. 700. It felt like 800. I was too, I was too busy watching old tapes of Teddy Bergeron.

Oh, Jesus. Teddy Bergeron, folks, is a comic from Boston and had one of the greatest sets in the history of the, and this is when Johnny Carson was hosting a Tonight Show. And literally blew the place apart. And they offered him a deal right there. And remember, like, what, a weekend later? He hadn't even left L.A. Somebody, one of his family members, gets killed by her.

car right something yeah or something and he had to leave l.a then like that was it and really bad alcoholic um but just a phenomenon i mean a really really let's put it this way you know better than billy crystal and he would be like blow me why don't you blow me he would sing a synodontatone but it was only blow me and he's blow me you don't know me so blow me tonight that's right he would end with it you know the last time i i saw him was mike reynolds was hanging out with him oh jesus they're both in bagas both down to their luck and yeah mike reynolds would take pictures of teddy and teddy might still be alive but barely but Mike's gone, you know.

Mike was another one. Some of these people that, like Mike Reynolds was a funny comic, but he wasn't the greatest comic, but he was the funniest guy. Oh, my God. He would get in these situations like with Teddy and just be, I mean, Mike's famous, too, for one time he was, you know, he used to, he was famous, Chris Rock said, Mike Reynolds is the only non-celebrity that gets celebrity level women, you know, he's just a hand guy. Yeah.

And one time he was in Baltimore, he took a girl to a diner after the show. And these construction workers walk over and start trying to harass her and degrade Mike. Mike stands up, punches one of them, knocks him out, goes to the other ones, you want some of this? And they all back off. And the next day the paper says,

comedian knocks out heckler. They always get it wrong. He was that scrappy. Yeah, how tall was Mike? Six three. Six three. and just lean, but not where you'd go, ooh, I wouldn't want to fuck with him.

Just a wiry guy. Like Clint Eastwood, yeah. Yes, perfect, like Clint Eastwood. And he got another story, I think you Zuck or you told me, or both, some cook, like at the improv in Florida, was bad-mouthing him. So tell him how that one ended.

Well, the guy, what the guy did was he flipped Mike. He was into judo or something. And he flipped Mike and really hurt Mike's son. side. So I knew what was coming. Because the two weeks on the phone was like, I mean, the guy really hurt my side. They were playing. Wait, were they playing around at that point? They were playing around, but he didn't want to play around. The guy flipped

him, you know? Right, right. And he hurt his ribs. Right. He goes to really hurt my ribs. I mean, the guy gets coked up. He hurts my ribs. He was talking about for two weeks. I said something's going to happen. And Zuck was there that night. And he goes, I saw the way Mike, because Zook's a cop. He knows when it's happening.

He goes, I wouldn't have known it was going to happen. He goes, I saw, the way he was looking, he goes, I'm leaving. I don't want to get, you know, you'd have to arrest him, you know. So he goes, I'll get out of the bark. And then Mike said, and I'm walking out of the parking lot with the guy. And I go, you know, you really hurt my ribs.

And he goes, I know, I'm sorry. He goes, I mean, they're still hurting. He goes, hey, I apologize. If you don't accept it, fuck you. And then Mike hits him so hard that he ruined his, he really hit his face. Yeah, he broke his face. But then I was in Florida. the next week.

So every day we'd have to walk out to the parking lot with bats because the guy's friends were looking to kill Mike. So they were

calling out, well, could you? This is before cell phone. So we'll walk out to the parking lot with bats every night to go to our shows

because we know these guys are going to be looking for him and his apartment couple. He was that that.

Yeah. Yeah. But Mike was old, one time Mike was having dinner. Remember you when he lived in

L.A. He lived in a house that the best way to describe it was Nick. Nick lived down the block. I live next door. Yeah. Yeah. And Nick goes, it's the house the kids avoid on Halloween. It was.

It was on, this is Beverly Hills, wasn't it, technically? Yeah, technically. On Don't Heaney. Beverly Flats. Not the, you know, on Doheny. I lived in an ice apartment building. That's still one of my favorite places, by the way. That's where I got a headshot taking.

by a guy who was Telly Savalas' star on Cojack, his sidekick. This guy took my headshot for like $75, he's a photographer. Kevin Dobson? No. This guy, well, what was the, on Cojac, Rizzo? Was it Detective Rizzo? He had Italian last name on Cojack. Oh.

But he was on there for years. He was kind of a name. But he took people's headshots. He was out of the business. And I went in there, and he had pictures of Michelle Pfeiffer when she was 19 and just showed up in LA and all this shit. And he took my headshot up on the roof. He took a bunch of them for like $100 or $50.

It's still hanging up at the comedy seller on the wall, the one where I looked like a mafioso. And he goes, so later on, I hear after I moved out of the building, he got arrested because he was running prostitutes in and out of his apartment. Oh, my God. Well, and that's the same building where one time, I was on the phone with you and you start banging on the wall. You go, I'm going to kill my neighbor.

He's playing the stupid rock music too loud. That's the different run. That was in Sierra. Yeah, that was in West Hollywood. Oh. In Sierra Benita, which what Colin's talking about is, I think I've told this on the show before. I was knocking on the wall. It was the guy was playing guitar.

First of all, the superintendent goes, hey, you're a comedian? So is the guy that lives next to you. And I go, who is he? And he goes, a headberg or something? And this is before Mitch was really big. I go, I don't think I know them. And then I would hear guitar and shit. And people singing like a fucking Manson family.

And I would bang on the fucking wall. And it would stop for a few minutes. Then it stopped playing. Anyways, long story short, as Colin would say, Zoe Friedman, who booked the comedians on Letterman, said, she's texting me. She goes, hey, Mitch Hedbergs gave me his set list. And the third joke down, it says, DePaolo, neighbor.

and it was about you guys you headberg fans know the joke I would bang on the wall and he goes there's no handle on this side come around something it was something of that fucking major so funny oh my god but Mike Reynolds his his apartment was on the first floor so sometimes you know he always there was always something going on

there was always drama so one time he I'm on the phone I'm not even home he's having dinner with that girl Natalie remember you had that Do I, Natalie, this is what in the house, again, that was next to my apartment buildings. I would be, I would look in the window in the morning. Colin would be staying there. We're talking to Colin Quimba, if you don't know from his voice.

I look in the window and Colin will be laying on, not even a, it looked like a fucking, a mat you do sit-ups on. It was about a quarter inch thin. No blanket. It was like for a dog bed. And the sun would be coming in. There's no curtains. Typal comedian.

Colin's laying there in the feet of position, the sun beating on it. him. And that seems like, one part of me seems that, like that seems like five minutes ago. Another part of me seems like that was 50 years ago. Yeah. But we had a good time. Yeah, Natalie and him. Yeah, Natalie was about a 10 on a scale of eight. Yeah. Natalie him having a nice dinner. They get the window open. He's on the first floor.

Window open is a little bit of a, it's a grocery from Ralph's supermarket. Yes. Yes. So, question. So some guy comes to the window, some drunk guy. So Mike was like the worst. gambler. That's right. His whole life was about going to the track.

We'd go to the track all the time. I'd go with him Hollywood Park, betting the horses, but I wasn't addicted to it like he was. Right. He was sitting there, and the guy goes, hey,

he just comes up to the window. Well, having a nice dinner with the window open, it's hot day. So I go, put him on. So Mike puts him on the phone with me, and I start cursing at the guy, and he goes,

whirr! And he goes, He goes crazy. You guys crazy. And then Natalie going, oh, my God. And Mike and him getting a fight, the cops come. They arrest the guy. And when they arrest him, to some reason, a screenplay fell out of his back pocket.

And it was a screenplay about the track called like Win, Lose, a drawer. Oh, my God. Only in L.A. That is right out of like, that's right out of a curb. your enthusiasm episode. Yeah, only in L.A. You'd be at the dentist. Your dentist would be going, oh, you're in show

business. I'm writing the spec script for fucking Hutton, Cleveland. Do you know anybody I can get it to? And you're like, hey, fucking, how about my teeth, asshole? L.A. in the 90s was like a really, like, I once, the perfect example is I saw Brad Pitt hanging out with this guy

at like one of the one of the coffee guys from this coffee place on Doheny or something. And they were like, friends. just hanging out. I was like Brad Pitt was already kind of famous. It was just like everybody it was such a it was a great time. The nine early 90s was the best time being in L.A. Now it's too great. Yeah. We we had such a but I wouldn't have been fun if you weren't there or

No we had fun we fucking me and calling at the same managers for a while right. David Christine. We used to go right at that office. We'd go right in their office and I told I I know I told this the last time you're on, but Colin is going, we're going through our manager's desk, and he finds a, it was VHS tape, wasn't it? Yeah.

Jeff Dunham and Peeant because our manager was thinking about signing him. So he opens the window. We're on the second floor, throws it out into the middle of the street and a truck runs over. To this day, it's the funniest fucking, and Jeff Dunham wants to do my show,

and I've met him since. I didn't bring that up, but maybe, we would get nothing done. We would start, you know, coming up with fucking shit. And then we're going downstairs. Oh my God.

We got nothing double. If we tape those jokes, we said the, I know. I was never in a funnier environment than me and you in that office in my life of comedy. No. There were no more. I mean, everything came out like a joke. It was amazing. Yeah.

We would just exchange bar. And that's what happens. You get around Quinn, you want to up your game and fucking, and we just, and then would end up going to the Italian restaurant downstairs that had great pizza, believe in not, in Beverly Hills. and what Intermezzo How the fuck would you remember that?

Intermezzo. I don't know. Oh my God. Nick, what about the time Norm McDonald said he goes, Nick DePaolo,

he goes, he's the, he only say, he's the funniest. I mean, he speaks in real life only it comes out in punch lines. And I go,

that's a great compliment. That, what Norm didn't know was a lot of Bostonians, at least kids I hung around with. You know, you're talking short for him. As you know, what's his name said it? Shakespeare, that brevity is the soul of wit, whatever the fuck. And that's how, like, Massachusetts kids, we hung around with each other.

You did talk a punch. Bob Murphy, I always talk about Bob Murphy, my buddy graduated first in our class. Still the funniest, one of the funniest guy, if not the funniest guy I'd ever met. He was like David Letterman before Letterman. He should have been fucking Letterman. You know, we went to work at a think tank to some shit. But, yeah, that's how we talked. And that was...

Have you ever talked to him since then? To Murph? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's got a wife and kids and, like everybody else, he grew up. I didn't. I feel like Manson, when Manson said that on the stand.

But I told you about my... I have a couple of friends that are so funny. And you're just like, these guys are just, they're just hilarious and they're so dry. But you want, you know, like, as we both know, being a stand-up is if I knew what it took to be a stand-up, I never would have gone into it.

But, I mean, it's so much of your life. You are what I mean? Yeah, but you would have, you have to because it's in your blood. There's no way you weren't going to be a comedian. Still, here's the thing about Quinn,

he's got a ton of credits, you know, a great resume. But here's what we all admire about him best. Colin still goes down to the comedy seller. And to work out shit. Now, you're a year older than I am, I think. I'm a lot older, a few years.

No. I was born in 1959. Like I said, you'll be dead soon. Wow. All right, he's almost three years older than me. But to go down there, and I don't mean he took time off and we're out in L.A. together and working on you. But to this day, he still goes down.

That's what you do. It's why, like, I don't live, I don't have access. And the comedy seller really is the most valuable. And that's how you know he's the real deal. But I don't know too many. Who else? What other comics that have been around as long as you or your age is still going down their work on their act?

Anybody? Well, only if they have to, I have to. What about, um, but, you know, but it's also only three stops on the train. And three stops on the train is plenty. That's still enough to get stabbed in the ass. Three stops on the train now is like 12, stops when I was growing up. You see more.

I've, what did I see the other? I don't want to say it. It's going to disgust you, but I'll say it anyway. Yeah. I go to the subway. It was the perfect trut trinity. I see a pile of human feces. Then I see a homeless guy staring at me like, you know, lying down, like looking like,

yeah, what's the problem? And then, by the way, this is not dark yet. it's not it's still day like yeah and then a rat scurries out of a hole that's what they call the gaudy howe hat trick on the subway yeah yeah that is that's called the new york story like one of your plays was yeah i do well i do all bunch of stuff now because i finally realized all these use subway jokes i realized the subway is my car my whole life yeah

it's like every day of my life I'm going out in the driveway whoever I'm with goes there's a guy in the back seat with no shirt on doing martial arts had threatened to kill us and then you go oh just ignore him

and sit next one for the next 45 minutes you believe I used to take it in from Queens I'd have to I took me I lived at the very last stop of the end train and right at the end of my street

so I would get on that take that in Manhattan then transfer it like 50 whatever 50s i can't believe i did that call you know me i wouldn't even know how to i nothing nothing and that was right after we moved to melae we both moved back to new york we always say how whenever i took about comedy i go nothing in the history of comedy nobody was ever funnier than nick getting off that train and going on at the cellar and his first five minutes would be just free associating i wish we just would have recorded all of it and put it out as a special called The Train because it was so brilliant. It was so vivid

and colorful and painted the perfect picture. I grew up in New York and I couldn't paint the picture like that. You nailed the neighborhoods, the whole thing. Remember the whole thing about you wouldn't want to be a pig in a story after midnight? Yeah. Yeah, you always love my queen's shit. Oh my God, it was master. It was. Yeah, but the only thing funnier than that, Colin, It was when I got a car and stopped taking the training from Queens and I bought a fucking Camry, used Camry, and I used to drive in

from Queens into New York. And there was a course I'd get stuck in traffic. I'm running late. And you, I remember you said to me at the table, I'd come in steaming and Colin goes, of course, he goes, DePaolo, only one that still surprised is traffic in New York.

Every fucking night, he's like it's brand new to. And I would go, It doesn't matter. It's still aggravating. I don't care if it happens at the thall. And then I would go on, I'd run down the cellar and unload. And that's when you fucking, even like a towel would come down and watch me or whatever. Yes.

It was watching real work of genius watching. I wish the audience saw it that way. We told that story last time I think right about the time you got stopped when we were driving in the. Yes. Yes. Fish concert. I think we told that one. Yeah.

And you were like going. I know these guys. That was funny. Hey, folks, if you want to support the show, go to nickdip.com. We have a merchandise page to support the show. Buy something there nice. We got hats, hoodies, t-shirts, mugs, jogging brars. I said bras.

Welcome to Boston. How are you? Pretty good. Can I get a vodka and tonic? Fuck the face. Hoodies, hats. I hate selling shit. Also, I want to send a personalized video to someone

so I can say what you're thinking. I'll say it for you. You don't have to say it. I'll just put my nuts on the camera and just zing zong zinger. Go to shoutout. u-s-u-s. But, yeah.

What do you, I want to get your opinion on the P. Diddy situation. Colin always stays up to snuff on music. Oh, he's an MTV. Fucking original. Those days, I know, I used to really be up on music, but now it's even,

and it's so past me, but I mean, this is gonna be, this is, the P. Diddy thing is not even music. This is about, oh, this is the black version of Jeffrey Epstein. But it just goes to show how when you get old, because I feel like if we were 20 years younger, we know all the rumors. There must be rumors about them. I don't know any rumors about them.

I don't know any of this stuff, but I mean, I feel like something must be, you know, obviously it's got to be there. but the question is even in Jeffrey Epstein does this stuff come out? I mean the Jeffrey Epstein thing really is disappointing

because we're never going to know, I guess. And the same thing with Pete Diddy. Are they just, I mean, is everybody that could be involved is probably like, look, I don't care if I have to, you know, if I have to do mall openings, I don't care if I have to do,

I'll knock, blow from progressive out of heart spot. I'll do any commercial. I got to pay my lawyer. Whatever he wants. You know, so who knows what really happens behind the scenes. But it is kind of sad that everything gets exposed except this stuff. We're not finding out. Well, we have an idea. I mean, we have them on video. But I'm saying we have no more information that we had at the beginning of 17. Well, that's what makes me suspicious.

We never get. Same with Epstein. We have no more information. So, what, you know, what does it take to get a little juicy gossip on this stuff, you know? I don't know. You have to work with TMZ. I mean, there's got to be, but they don't know. I don't even think they find out. That's how you know they don't know. Tm Z. That's how, I was just saying to Dallas, I was just saying to Dallas when I got in a little skirmish last summer, probably about a year now, at that bar and that, in Dallas outside of Dallas. And they just threw me out because they knew who I was because of my politics. Plan it fucking simple.

And TMZ, even TMZ even try to latch on to that story. And I go, I'm a fucking nub on the ass of show business. So you can imagine, like you said, they, nobody wants to, they're more scared of P. Diddy and his folks than they are

of, they were of Goddy people. Yeah, yeah. He's sort of a, of course, yeah. Right? Well, they said the last person that said I had a little skirmish outside of Dallas was Jack Rube one of my heroes oh

do you you have you said you gave you knew him you did but I forget how he knew him he worked he did tell me that he had like the

whatever was club called the silver slip or whatever was called Gabe Kaplan Gabe Kaplan was the comic there oh my God and he said

I go what was he like he was that asshole he was you know He was a club owner, you know? He's like, ah, he's comedians, idiots, you know? Like, you're just, geez. He was an asshole.

Your student said that about you. That black guy, Washington, hated your guts. Gabe Carter, by the way, professional gambler. I've mentioned this on the show before. Professional gambler. Like, I played a place called KJ. Riddles in Orland Park, Illinois, I think it was. And I get there, and Kenny the owner was a, he says, Gabe Kaplan was here last week.

and won close to $300,000. Betting. Oh, yes. I go, what are you talking about? He goes, he's a professional gambler. And he was betting football that weekend. And he told me the whole fucking parlay thing, whatever. And he gave, here's one thing Gabe did do right, I know, as a rogue comic.

Instead of packing his shit, his clothes, he would have them mailed. Because they would lose his luggage all the time. He did so much more. He would have his clothes mailed to the city of the club. he was playing. Oh my God. How about that? I know. But it doesn't bother me because I wear two, I bring two pair of jeans, two pair of underwear, two shirts, even if I'm on the road for three weeks, which has never happened before.

Well, I bring, I like the crowd to start laughing when I get out there. So I always wear like a, like a leopard patterned blazer when I come out. Tell the people. And again, I think we're rehashing a lot of shit we have, since I've had you on the show, but tell them. you told me I should reinvent myself what the character name should be and what I should wear on stage. Well, I know it was Don Karate.

Carano. Wasn't it Karato? No, Don Karate. Oh, Don Karate. And I thought you should wear a turtleneck with lightning balls. A black turrets with yellow lightning ball.

Yeah. I laughed at that, but now the place my career is in a the other thing about Gabe Kaplan gambler you said he's a professional gambler yeah he really professional gambler because one time Tony Darrow you know the comedian Tony Darrow yes one time he goes yeah I was sitting at the table he goes yeah Gabe Kaplan he goes I go what he goes we bet a hundred books on a game and he stiffed me he never paid me I've never seen him since that proves he's a professional gambling oh my god he stick Tony Darrow I remember

him Italian guy kind of long hair what no he curly black curly black hair yeah he looked like a member of kiss almost yes he worked he worked a lot of he worked cruise ships too he had good material though before he wanted material right he always had good material these guys just go away bob who is the who is the jewish woman and my fans are going to faint we're talking to the great calling quim by the way are going to faint when i bring this up um who is the Jewish woman, you'll get it. It was, she was at the improv, and I first started coming down in New York,

and she was somebody's wife. And she was a funny Jewish bride, older woman. Somebody's wife? Yes. Yes. Oh, Adrian Toch. Adrian Tolsh. It's the first time I saw a woman that I actually, I went, wow, I get to compete with women.

So quick. She had great. She was so quick. But who was she married to? Bill Schiff. Thank you. Bill's still around. I was going to say, wait

a minute, she must have been 20 years older than Bill. Bill Shept used to do, yeah, she was older than him. Bill Shept used to, and Larry Amos make all these jokes about it. But Bill Shept, he had some of the funniest, one of his jokes that he had, he would do this whole routine

on, he goes, this just goes to show how times have chased. He goes, this is a Jewish guy from Westchester who works in the Garmin Center, ordering his favorite meal at his at the place he's lunch at every day. And then he could that would be the impression.

He go, cookie, cookie, not him. Me. I was here first, cookie. Come on. Give me a favor, sweet dog. I said, write this down. I want it on toast. It's burnt. I'm sending it back. I don't want the belonging.

I want to make sure that if it's certain, blah, blah, and he goes, in fact, bring it out and I'll tell you what's wrong with it. Then you send it back. And he goes, tell the cook it's for Mr. Fine. He knows. And he would do it and it would get big laughs because it was funny, but it was so small like a thing to do in a comedy club. Very specific to New York, but it was specific to New York.

But so specific, and you taught me this until you said in the specific is the, if it's specific now, it's universal. That's what William Goldman, yeah. Is that, who said it? William Goldman, the screenwriter that wrote, I forget what he wrote like Bush Cassidy, his son, maybe or network or network how about Curley's

Gold? What's that? Curly's gold? He didn't write that? I know the who drove Bob Malou Mandel and the other guy wrote it. Those were Billy's writers. Oh my God. Yeah, that was a He's the vice president of Lazy.

Oh, God. We're talking about the scene from City Slickers to Colin just sent me. But the end one is the fucking, it just put that stamp on it. In case you were sitting there going, I think this is shitty comedy.

This is like a stamp going shitty comedy. What did he say? He goes, what the fuck was it? Something we're going to somebody. He goes, yeah, it ought to go to your brain. That's something my mother would say to me if I was mouted off to her.

Holy fucking shit. How do you not get kicked out of L.A. just for writing that line? You know why? The people who make it fucking love it, right? well you think the editor would go hey man come on oh god I still remember the night Patrice and fucking

what's the name? Geraldo had a few drinks in him and Patrice was his surly self they didn't exactly love each other and they got into it and I was fucking I mean I've seen this shit

I'm a comic and shouldn't shock me they started Girroth was heading out the door the restaurant's filled with families and kids and shit. And our table's in the corner. Oh, fuck you, man. Colin's a, uh, Patrice.

Like, oh, fuck you. And, you know, when Gerald had a few drinks and I'm, you fat fuck it. And they woke. And there's people trying to eat and it gets dead silence. You got two comics cursing. Even I think Esty or manny, somebody came up and told us to lower the temperature. Can you imagine what they put up with? Well, that was, they did.

They put up a lot. And they really. They loved us. Yeah. They loved it. I heard about, I wasn't there that night. But the stuff that went on, I mean, even on tough crowd, a lot of times people would get into it. And, you know, everybody had an attitude.

Yes. That's why it was funny. Yes. But sometimes, you know, people were being themselves. The whole point was to be real. That's right. So sometimes people would be too real and just get into like an ugly thing and you'd be like and we'd all be arguing like hey and then suddenly

I would think like we're not at the table they're filming this and I was so tired from prepping the show and stuff I would never go to the edit so the edit was what whatever the show I mean that's what made it you did you hear what he just said everybody was being real and it hasn't happened since it hasn't happened since um Colin's genius weave that in somehow. And like, you know, like great talent. I always say, you know, most of the people that make a big kind of mediocre talents, but every once in a while we say it,

somebody falls through the cracks. Like a Louis C.K. should be as famous as he is. Or, you know, people like that. Well, Colin was one of those guys with, like, creating the show. How he convinced Comedy Central to do it. I'd still like to be a fly on the wall. I mean, you must have said it's going to be like what happens

at the comedy cell table. I'm sure I did. I didn't, but I don't think any of us really knew what it would be, you know. You did. But in retrospect, I mean, I had a vision of it, yeah, because I wanted to be like, it wasn't even just the table. It was when I would walk through to the bathroom. Because a comedy cell, you still had to walk through the bathroom.

Oh, the bathroom, the actual Rome itself, yeah. I would watch people. It was the beginning of, like, it was the beginning of people getting in the media, getting sensitive about showbiz and politically correct and all that stuff. It was beginning. But I would walk through the, comedy seller and the community being funny being ethnic the whole one was filled with all these different ethnicities and the audience yeah and nobody was really getting offended they were laughing

so that was really that was as much as the table if not more in my mind when the show started i was like wait a minute people are being funny nobody the audience is walking out offended you know are you saying that was after after it was the show was on for a years or so are you saying before And that's what inspired me in my mind. I wanted to do the show. I see. Always the observant one, Quinn, as far as... Just walk into the bathroom and going,

look at this audience. The media was just starting to promote this idea that people have being offended by some language or whatever. I'm walking through the crowd. And nobody was getting offended. Nobody's being offended. You know what I mean? Boy, have things changed?

That's what drove me out of New York. And I remember being on the phone with you in about 2004, 2005, and going, Nick, you're getting upset over nothing. It's about to swing back the other way. I could not be more wrong. I was like, Nick, it's about to swing back the other way. It's ridiculous. And you were like, you think so?

I go, I know so. Social media. Who predicted social media? Yeah. No, exactly. I, well, look, and I say this, this, we'll wrap it up right here, because we've taking enough time. But after my first open mic,

the first couple months of open mics, some guy came up to me and said, you're politically incredibly, I wasn't even sure what he meant. And he goes, that's where this is going. Can imagine that was 1988, Colin.

Somebody said that to me. And I remember sitting at Reynolds' house. This is another one. I remember you, me and Reynolds, bullshit about, Reynolds had a great theory about this eventually turning around.

I can't remember what was because he interjected with stuff about insurance companies and how they rip us he know all about that shit too right you all that stuff he was a fucking uh walking time bomb but yes uh we had no idea where this was headed and and thank you and again it's not going to go completely away but let me tell you something the the they built the house of lies the fucking left uh with all that political identity of politics. There's just no foundation there. And Trump just happened to fucking expose it all.

So I love that they're in a hole. They don't know what they're doing right now. And you know that. They're running over ICE agents in Newick on camera. They're defending a guy who beats his wife, MS-13. I mean, they are, I've never, it's beautiful. I pick up the headlines and watch every day. They are lost.

Their only solution is to come back. a little bit and they're so far left even if they came back to the center they'd still be in trouble I hope well everybody who was on the left is now the center

like everybody is not that they change man he used to say it back he goes I used to be a liberal now I'm conservative I haven't changed one of my opinions that's right the world changes around you it's like Bill Maher he hasn't changed but

they pushed him to the here's the only thing about Bill Maher I don't like that he's getting credit for coming around because he had a huge part in where we are and where we went politically but he's got a platform you know what I mean that's what I'm saying though he had a platform

and he would bring on he would bring on milk toast Republicans and sit there with Ben Affleck and all you've got to yeah and beat up on these guys and now he's like oh you know So I, yes, I see where He's, but he was a little

Lib, I don't know, I think, I don't know. I don't trust. You got to say the enemy of my enemy is my friend. You got to be more like, like my role models, the Taliban. We'll leave it there. Colin, you are the best, brother. And you know, he's my, I say he's my best friend of comedy. I don't know anybody else in comedy anymore.

You know, I bump into people maybe. I don't even do that. Nobody. Well, somebody saw Burke Kreischer and oh, Russell Brand

last week walking down a sidewalk in Savannah. I never fucking run into these guys. Brand them. Yeah. All right,

Quinny. Thank you so much for going this, pal. Love you. Later. We'll talk to you again. Bye. I like it.

Thanks, Dallas. Well, folks, that is it. The great calling, I could listen to him forever. Seriously, if you're,

your comedy fans, by, he, you know, he put a book out to it, but get his one-man shows and just watch the level. And everybody,

he's as good a, he's a better person. He's as good a person as he is a comic. He helps people with A.A. And all the shit. And every comic has ever gone through New York City,

just will go to him and ask for advice at one time another. He's got a wisdom of a hundred-year-old comedian. And he's very, street smart and he's just a killer writer and his work ethic is you know second than none so that is it I will see you on Monday right am I right? That's right tomorrow and Friday at Zanies in Rosemont, Illinois. You guys think that I'll say you're very welcome

see you back here Monday. Bye bye hi good night everybody