The Nick DiPaolo Show - Riar, Riar, Pants on Fire | Nick DiPaolo Show #327

Episode Date: April 2, 2020

Netflix Doctor says he found the cure for Covid-19. Fauci was a baller. Malaysian men have it made. Thank you Heather J. for your "Ask Nick!" question and for your continued support on Patreon. FREE! MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir

Hey guys, Nick DiPaolo here, and this is the place to come if you are tired of the PC culture, if you are tired of censorship, if you're a person who leans a little right and you're being shadow banned like me on Twitter. They go after actual politicians, right-wing politicians on social media. And we know the media is crooked. The mainstream media, the social media, it's all left-wing horseshit. You should be able to say what you want. You're an American. And that's why I created this show.

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So I will see you guys real soon. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Thursday, last day of the week. I love these four-day work weeks, I'll tell you, folks. Get a podcast. No boss. Fucking work an hour a day like you're living in France, running a cheese shop.

I'll tell you, it's some good chill, you know. How are you, folks? Great to be with you. We thank you so much for supporting the show because, as you know, I don't do any live comedy until who knows when. October? I don't know. So you guys, the lifeblood, keep tuning in.

Spread the word like it's a virus. Spread it like a Chinaman. Lying motherfuckers. Raya, raya, pants on fire. You know, tell truth. That cold opening that that was a blonde English girl with beautiful lips. Holy smokes. Upset about the coronavirus. But she makes a good point. Why would you put bat on the menu if it's not even good?

She's fucking. I think one of her friends was sick. Had the had the bat souffle on a Jacques Lameau. She was pissed off, but, you know, big full lips. That's all I get out of it. That's my problem. I didn't hear a word she said. Look at those lips. Anyhow, the goddamn Chinese, you know, they're slippery.

Again, that's their reputation, right? Slippery. They play the long game. They're looking to fuck. I still, I am still not convinced that this wasn't a setup by China. And again, what's to stop other countries from doing this?

I don't know. All I know is I've been watching Netflix. The last few years, I've been too busy. I've missed so much good TV on Netflix, so I'm behind. But if you guys haven't seen Narcos, Jesus Christ, I have never, ever, it's got me sucked in.

Guy that plays Pablo Escobar, just, he was a bad guy. He was a meanie. Although, if you ask the people in the neighborhood he grew up in, Medellin and all that, he used to hand out fucking thousands of dollars of bills and build soccer fields. And, you know, he was a man of the people. The only problem is he killed 400 cops a year, blow up airplanes. You know, there's other ways of handling that. Ask Mitch McConnell.

I don't need to kill kids. I can make a profit. Anyways, let's get right to it. I feel like I'm forgetting something at the top of the show. Don Gavin. Don Gavin. That's Raz being a producer. I feel like I'm forgetting something at the top of the... Don Gavin. Don Gavin. That's Raz being a producer. I did not sleep at all last night.

I watched about four episodes of Narcos, and then I flipped over to the Faggy Tiger guy. And oh my God, I see what everybody's talking about. This guy scares me more than Escobar. Just a poll smoker who carries a gun, threatens people on T, and you know what? I fucking love him. He's a true American. Other than the, uh, but, you know, to each his own, as they say.

Let's get right to it. We need some good news, so I'll give you some. Let me put on my fucking cheaters. Chuck Schumer. Trump's a liar. Okay. San Francisco. Dr. Jacob Glanville, a San Francisco-based doctor who was featured on Netflix series Pandemic.

They already have a series about it? Says his team may have found antibodies which could treat the COVID-19 virus. Somebody should tell the chick in England that's crying in her mirror. We are happy to announce we have completed the engineering and we have some very potent antibodies

that can be effective against the virus, Glanville said on Monday. Glanville told Radio New Zealand, I had a morning zoo show over there on Radio New Zealand. They kicked me off. I said something racial. Anyways, Radio New Zealand, they kicked me off. I said something racial. Anyways, Radio New Zealand, he told that his team used a series of five antibodies that were able to neutralize SARS back in 2002 and adapted them to attack the COVID virus.

The new virus is a cousin of the old SARS. So what we've done is, he says, we've created hundreds of millions of versions of those antibodies i'd do that but i had to cut the lawn and shit uh which uh we've mutated them a bit and that a pool of mutated versions we found versions that crossed them over so now uh he says so now so jesus copy so now we know they bind on the same spot as the new virus, COVID-19. Glanville said his team is in communication with the U.S. government about conducting a study about the drug's usefulness. I know a thing or two about a thing or two. Part of the reason we think we're moving pretty fast is that instead of starting from scratch, discovering an antibody,

we went to these existing antibodies that were already extremely well characterized against SARS and we've adapted them so we're piggybacking on two years of research which is this guy's brilliant although Glanville says that although his short-term vaccine takes effect quickly the disadvantage is that the antibodies only give protection for eight to ten weeks unlike a true vaccine we'll take that i mean we you know but you know what's going to happen folks after this is all over you know you get a flu shot every flu season you're going to be you're going to be giving you shots for this that and uh the next phase in the process will be to

send the antibodies to the military for confirmation testing and Charles River Laboratories for safety testing. He says his team has partnered with two companies to scale up production of the drug once it is approved and will begin human trials at the end of the summer. So we're still going to go through hell this summer and stuff. But I mean, we need something for after that, right? If the drug is safe, Glanville said it could begin to be released in September. That's when I used to get my flu shot. CVS. Walk in there and, you know, go ahead.

When I was a kid, I had asthma. Real bad. Seven years old, my parents bring me to the Leahy Clinic in Boston. Seven years old, six shots in this arm, six in this arm. Didn't even cry. You know, my dad gave me a bag of marbles. What the fuck is that? Fucking bag of marbles?

Just took six fucking needles. Didn't shed a tear. I threw him out the window on the way home. He got very mad at me. Yeah, cheap fuck you. Did I mention Don Gavin's going to be on the way home he'd get very mad at me yeah cheap fuck you did i mention don gavin's gonna be on the show i got no sleep last night woke up uh on the couch still in my dirty shorts and t-shirt that i've been wearing for two days and the tiger fag was staring at me so i watched some more of it i went to bed about four didn't go to bed what am i saying i fell back asleep on the couch. What a life. Anyways,

thank you, Dr. Glanville. Obviously, we hope that works and has to be true. It's on Netflix. But you know who the dirty bastards are? We all know in this whole mess and who we can blame. Stop blaming Trump. Stop. China headline, concealed extent of virus outbreak. You know who says that? The U.S. intelligence. Now people say, well, of course, China's saying, concealed extent of virus outbreak. You know who says that? The U.S. intelligence. Now people say, well, of course, China's saying, of course, the U.S. intelligence is saying that take the heat off the Trump administration, blah, blah, blah. Give me a, you said, China said the U.S. military started this. So you're lying, fuck.

And the doctor over in China, female doctor, who blew the whistle on this, went public with it, She's missing. But that's what you guys want on the left as far as a government like that, right? Anybody who disagrees, they just disappear. Probably find her in Clinton's basement. China has concealed the extent of the coronavirus outbreak in its country, underreporting both total cases and deaths it suffered from the disease. The U.S. intelligence community concluded in a classified report to the White House. And China says this.

I kill you. I kill you right now. Kill me. I'm right here. Kill me. Okay, I come with two chopsticks. I shove up your ass. Come over here. Talk to me in the face. Talk to me in the face. No, I have no mask. You kill me. You talk to me in the face. You have COVID. The officials asked not to be identified because the report is secret and they declined to detail its contents. Well, I'd like to know who said it.

But the thrust, they said, is that China's public reporting on cases and deaths is intentionally incomplete. China lying? Get the fuck out of here. I love Chinese food. I'm still not sure. and I'm eating chicken wings. They're the biggest chicken wings I've ever seen. Ever get chicken wings from a Chinese restaurant? Fucking, they're about a pound and a half each.

Coming off some type of fucking ostrich that they bred in the lab. Two of the officials said the report concludes that China's numbers are fake. The report was received by the White House last week. The outbreak began in China's Hubei province, or as Joe Biden said, Wuhan province, in late 2019. But the country has publicly reported

only about 82,000 cases, which, you know, there's 1.4 billion people in China. Just to, you know, I mean, just to fucking do the numbers, you can tell there are 82,000 cases and 3,300 deaths, according to data compiled by

Johns Hopkins University. That compares to more than 189,000 cases and more than 4,000 deaths in the U.S. We lead the world, you know, which has the largest publicly reported outbreak in the world. Trump said, and I know you people at home going, well, world, you know, which has the largest publicly reported outbreak in the world. Trump said, and I know you people at home going, well, how do you know the government's telling the truth?

I don't know. We don't know. They could be shitting their pants, too. Our government will lie to you. We know that. But sorry, if I have a choice of saying who's the liar, the Chinese and the, come on. Nick, that's racist. Oh, go fuck yourself.

I stick Trump's neck up your ass. You, that's racist. Oh, go fuck yourself. That's the Trumps that got your ass. You come talk to me. Trump said Wednesday that China's reported virus data appeared to be on the light side, he said. It's on the light side. But that he hadn't received an intelligence report saying the country had to conceal the extent of its outbreak. Well, why haven't you? I don't get it. We got U.S. officials saying they have evidence. Share it with the president. I don't get it. Anyways, a little on the light side. That's putting it, you know, mildly.

The reality is that we could have been better off if China had been more forthcoming. Vice President Mike Pence said to CNN on Wednesday. What appears evident now is that long before the world learned in December that China was dealing with this, and maybe as much as a month earlier than that, that the outbreak was real in China. The Chinese government has repeatedly revised its methodology for counting cases for weeks,

excluding people without symptoms entirely, and only on Tuesday added more than 1,500 asymptomatic cases to its total. But how do you count people who don't have symptoms? I don't understand. Look, I got a 2.4 in business administration. I'm just reporting this shit. And I was cheating off Chinese kids. Talk about stealing intellectual property

holy shit stacks of thousands of urns his his little hints that you know it was worse than they were saying stacks of thousands of urns outside funeral homes in hubei province has driven public doubt that's always a bad sign uh the claim that the united states has more coronavirus deaths than china is false said senator ben sass a nebraska republican he's a kind of an anti-trumper said in a statement uh after bloomberg news published the report without commenting on any classified information this much is painfully obvious the chinese communist party has lied is lying and will continue to lie about the coronavirus to protect the regime you are correct sir the medical community interpreted the chinese data as this was serious but smaller than anyone expected this is dr burke's talking

the woman i believe she said in a news conference uh because i think probably we were missing a significant amount of data. Now that we see what happened to Italy and see what happened to Spain. Fuck it, Italy. You go over there now. There's 14 Italians left. It's beautiful. The U.S. intelligence community's conclusion is an attempt. This is what the Chinese say. They spin it on us. Naturally, this is what countries do.

It's an attempt to divert attention from surging deaths in the U.S. and other Western countries. You know who said that? Hu Jing. Hu Jing said that. You're fucking right, you American cocksucker. Hu Jing, editor-in-chief of China's state-run Global Times. It's about as... All the papers that have Times, New York Times, L new york times la times always left-wing rags

uh said on his account on chinese social media platform and i don't believe the motherfucker i think they're a problem you're the fucking problem yeah you fucking doctor why onking jam rag arkin spunk bubble i'm telling you h uh he says to fake the casualty data which departments will be which departments will be deployed who will implement the plan who said it will involve many different departments in many places to get the total numbers if one of them is faking once they have to fake it all the time sounds like the girls they used to fuck and i'm a single the risk of screwing up could be very high he said and i say to him you need to shut the fuck up. The whole world knows you're lying.

Communist government. Come on. All governments lie, but the communists, they have it down. United States Secretary Mike Pompeo said, these dirty zipper heads, I'll kill each and every one of them. Do you believe he said that? I don't either. Pompeo has publicly urged China and other nations to be transparent. Oh, yeah.

The Chinese Communist government's gonna be transparent, Mike. He has repeatedly accused China of covering up the extent of the problem and being slow to share information. And he says he's gonna boycott the China Gardens restaurant two fucking miles from his house. They used to have the old old you can eat bat buffet.

Anthony Fauci in a related Corona story, because that's all we're doing. I mean, it is threatening our lives and people are dying every time we go to bed. The numbers are spiking. So we have to talk about it. I wish I could work some titty jokes up in here. it. I wish I could work some titty jokes up in here. Anthony Fauci gets his own security detail following threats to his fucking safety. Gotta be kidding me. You're fucking crazy. The feds have given Anthony Fauci, God bless the Italians, his own security detail as he faces mounting threats while guiding the country

through the devastating coronavirus. I made the observation the more we hear from him, you know, you can tell he's a New Yorker. I think he's a Democrat. And, you know, he's a science guy, which he should be. And he's been the face of this. This guy's been leading the way and people are threatening to kill him. The Department of Health and Human Services was prompted to begin providing the nation's top infectious expert with security personnel based on both threats to his personal safety,

and listen to this, Raz, and an emerging cult following of super fans who approach Fauci when he's 79. He's 79. I thought he was 82. I've been telling... I did.

I thought he was 82. He's... Do we have a... We don't have a picture of him, do we? Look how young this guy. He's 79. I thought he was 82. I did. I thought he was 82. We don't have a picture of him, do we? Look how young this guy. He's 79 years old. Let me tell you, guineas don't crack either. We got that one-eighth of black blood in us from you Moors raping my people. Look at Pence.

I don't get it. Is Pence real? Is he fucking real? He looks like it's at the London Wax Museum. Look at him. He's looking at Fauci like he wants to kill himself. God bless Fauci. Fauci was beside Trump Tuesday as they delivered a dire forecast for the U.S. death toll.

Excuse me. The administration set a target for as many as 240,000 corona-related fatalities, even if all public health guidelines are followed. There's good and bad to that. Come on. It's going to thin out traffic in L.A. and New York a little bit. I'm just looking at the bright side, folks. No 14-foot lines at Starbucks and shit.

Come on. Think. Whacking out all the old people. Look. What are you going to do? It's a dangerous situation. It will be difficult. No one is denying that we are going through a really difficult time, Fauci said. Listen to this.

Now, here come the fucking idiots. Some right-wing supporters of Trump have labeled Fauci, head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, as a member of the deep state trying to undermine Trump's reelection. Wow. That's quite a leap. Uh oh. Retard alert.

Retard alert. Can you imagine being that delusional about politics? Fauci on occasion has stepped to the podium to correct or amend statements Trump made on the virus. Yeah, that's what he's supposed to do. Fauci declined to comment Wednesday as to whether he's been given added security. But Mr. Trump jumped in. Here's a clip of that. Anything that has to do with security detail.

He's a hunk. Have you refer that question to the inspector general of HHS rather than my answer that? Can we call up on testing? He has a need to carry everybody who loves him. Everybody loves him. I said they'd be in big trouble if they ever attack, you know? He was a great basketball player. Did anybody know that?

He brings this up now. Look at Fauci. This picture was taken in 1897. He was a point guard at the University of Naples. He had a triple-double, five-foot-six Italian guy who could dunk behind his head. Looks like Bob Cousy. Jesus Christ, he's got the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader shorts on. Those are the ones I wear when I walk around the park

in Savannah, hoping somebody will whistle my ass. It's always a homeless guy. Look at Fauci driving the lane. I got those socks too, by the way. How about Trump? That guy was a great basketball player. But how about the fact he needs security because he's got so many

fans now? Imagine he's 79. Fucking girls want to blow him i mean i'm gonna come up with a cure for something dandruff anyways hey folks you know the donald uh the the donaldstuff.com are big sponsors of this show we really appreciate them for that uh this morning they just sent me this new item because they know that I love to cook. Oh, that's why they said, what the fuck? Can you see me in that with no shirt on? Working in my car, trying to fucking fix the transmission. Look at that.

The truck's shredded. Guy's shredded. Trump mania. Look at that. You guys put this on when you're barbecuing to piss off your lib friends next door. Go over to the house and borrow a cup of sugar wearing that. See what happens. Look at how cool is that?

Get it for yourself or even better, get one for someone you know who hates Trump. Maybe even have a barbecue and invite. I didn't even read this copy and I'm already predicting it. And invite your lib friends over and wear this while making their food. And then hawk a big lungy in it. and invite your lib friends over and wear this while making their food and then hawk a big lungy in it. Anyways, lots of great stuff on the Donald stuff.com.

Go there and check out all the gear. Uh, when you use a promo code, Nick, uh, you get 10% off, not just the apron, but everything on the website.

Look at me. Look at me. There is uncle Sam Giancana. He did it. Welcome on nice. Uh, look at me there as Uncle Sam Giancana. He did it. Walk him out nice. Go to thedonaldstuff.com, thedonaldstuff.com. Pick up a shirt or a mug or a hat and support these guys.

And we thank them for sponsoring this show. And we really do. Need all the help we can get here. Need all the help. The gambling business is drying up on narcotics is a dirty business but uh i see that corolla's in there rogan's in there we're gonna move in lara trump says journalists refusing to carry the coronavirus task force briefings are un-american she's talking about CNN and MSNB fucking C.

You are fake news. Sir, the White House hit CNN and MSNB, but cutting away from Monday evening's coronavirus briefing from President Trump and his why would they do that? First of all, he gives you the best numbers. You wouldn't be on the air if Trump wasn't a president. I get

better numbers than fucking Rachel Maddow, you fucking carpet munchingunching fucking mamalook. Trump's an asshole. This is all wet. What the fuck? Here's where the COVID started. The White House gave him a good whacking. White House spokesman Judd Deere.

What a fucking name. Your last name's Deere and your parents' name is Judd? Out of all the choices? How about John? John Deere. Fucking Judd. Judd said, look at here. Judd Deere, the spokesman of the White House

said, it's pretty disgraceful that the networks did not show the entire... It really is. For any outlet there that wants to call said it's pretty disgraceful that the networks did not show the entire it really is uh for any outlet uh there that wants to call themselves a news outlet and describe themselves as journalists to consider not taking these press briefings live to disseminate across the country to the american people at a time of crisis in the midst of a national disaster is completely outrate no it's completely expected from these left-wing American-hating cocksuckers. How?

Who? I? The government should send people around not to see if people are doing social distancing, to look in the windows of houses. He was watching CNN. And they kick the door and pull a Pablo Escobar on him. Just spray him. Kids, too.

What? I'm just saying. Anyways, it's un-American. Really disgusting. A CNN spokesperson responded to Deere's tweet in a statement, and this is what they say. If the White House wants to ask for time on the network, they should make an official request. Is that how it works? Otherwise, we'll make our own editorial decisions, really. Who said that?

CNN. Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit-twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own network? Probably Jeff Zucker. An MSNBC network spokesman told The Hill that the network aired the briefing for more than an hour before cutting away because the information no longer appeared to be valuable to the important ongoing discussion. You know what they're saying?

We didn't agree with it. You don't get to make those decisions. We'll do. You report. We'll decide if it's true or not. But I'll just say this a little bit. Trump talks too much to these press. I know he's what he's doing.

He's campaigning, right? Biden's fucking in his tool shed looking for a shovel for the last two days because he's fucking finished. But, but Trump is great at rallies when he's coming off the cuff and winging it and being funny. Okay.

But he, but, but he even drives me nuts. And you know, I love him when he answers a question, he repeats the same thing over and over again it just keeps reminding me of me being a bullshitter when i used to take essay tests and the first three paragraphs explain the difference between world war ii and the korean war well they

the world war ii and the korean war as we, there's a lot of guns and people get shot. But anyways, he repeats over and over. And I get bored with it. Don, just a little bit. Learn to duck. As Counsel Yerry said to John Gotti. Learn to duck, John. You made quite a trek from a rat-filled tenement in Brooklyn to the cover of Time magazine. as Counsel Yerry said to John Gaudi. Learn to duck, John.

You made quite a trek from a rat-filled tenement in Brooklyn to the cover of Time magazine. That takes talent. Learn to duck. I'm not going to hide the duck. Fucking like a rat. I know who I am. They stick those fucking cameras in my face. That's a Gaudi movie with Amin Asante, HBO.

Fucking watch it. And MSNBC, whatever, said, movie with ominous ante hbo fucking watch it uh and msnbc uh whatever said but but anyways uh what more can you say about cnn and msnbc and remember rachel maddow after the president got elected remember her you're not dreaming it's not a nightmare it's real and then she went home massaged her own balls um i think i have a new favorite country it's called malaysia they're not exactly uh step and step with the fucking national women's organization over here here's the headline for malaysia during the pandemic is their advice. Don't nag your husband during lockdown. Malaysia's government advises women. Thank you. Malaysia has the largest number of

COVID-19 cases in Southeast Asia with more than 2,900 and counting. This week, Malaysia's government also had a serious public relations issue after an ill-conceived plan went online. Malaysia's Ministry for Women, Family and Community Development issued a series of online posters on Facebook and Instagram with a hashtag,

hashtag women prevent COVID-19. It advised the nation's women to help with the country's partial lockdown by not nagging their husbands. Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up? the nation's women to help with the country's partial lockdown by not nagging their husbands. Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up? Will you shut up? Shut up? Shut up? That's nagging with a red line in the circle through it? I have that t-shirt way before COVID hit. Just say no to women.

Look, to tell them to put on makeup. Can you imagine the fucking filthy left-wing lying fucking feminist lesbians? They must be shitting their fucking Wrangler jeans. Look at that. And then they say, so it's saying, don't nag me, put on some goddamn makeup and fucking pay the bills. Oh, I love this country. And I love women. Again, the feminist organization, most insidious organization in this country, they're fucking filthy.

That is so funny. The ministry also advised women to refrain from being sarcastic if they ask for help with household chores and urge urged women working from home to dress up and wear makeup. They said it's extremely condescending. Here comes somebody who's pushing against it. Nisha Sabaragam. That's her name, Sabaragam. I tell her to shut up just from her name. She says it's extremely condescending both to women and men.

She's the manager of the advocacy group All Women's Action Society. These posters promote the concept of gender inequality and perpetuate the concept of a patriarchy. No, they don't. We just want some peace. Oh, boy, you. My wife has a habit of talking while we're watching a movie. You know, I talk when we watch. I pause to make a comment.

This has been going on for fucking 16 years. I'm going to. I don't know. I think she just talks. I'm watching Narcos. It's in fucking subtitles because it's all Spanish. It's an English subtitle. And she'll fucking let me pause the fucking thing.

Fuck. A little thing. Anyways. What's this? Avoid wearing home clothes. Dress up as usual. Put on makeup and dress neatly. Oh, my God.

This is what Rena, our minister of women family community development thinks is important during covid uh another one after this torrent abuse the ministry oh they abruptly relented uh tuesday took the whole thing down but in this article at the end it talks about they have a rule uh only the head of household should leave the house to purchase necessities uh the order did not indicate whether the house to purchase necessities. The order did not indicate whether the person was male or female. Men took it upon themselves to brave the grocery store. So then they put up on Facebook.

You see, you can't pick on women in any country. They put up on Facebook guys in supermarkets not knowing how to shop. That was the whole fucking thing. And talking on their phone with their wives. Because guys are that stupid. It just never ends. Ladies, we love you. Even in Malaysia.

But put on some makeup and pay the bills. How did I not hit make me a sandwich? Go ahead. I can't hear you. I was talking to the mic. We're 30 minutes in. You want me to ask a question? Ask a question, my brother.

Heather J. Pittsburgh, Adam Schiff and Jim Acosta are both drowning right in front of you. You can only save one. These are the choices. A, save Adam. B, save Jim Acosta. C, make a video of their deaths for your patrons while sucking on your vape. First of all, I have producers that are going to do that.

I'll suck on my vape anyway. I would fucking save Jim Acosta, but I'd make him film Adam Schiff drowning and then show it to his family over and over again on a loop and then blow up their house too because Paul Blaskevar is my hero. No, I'm kidding. Somebody has a great bit about who do you shoot? You're in an elevator, there's Kenny G and somebody. Yeah, no, I wouldn't i wouldn't say be

the one of them i'd watch them hug on to each other like a couple of bags drinking seaweed that was a tough question to make funny i gotta admit you beat me heather uh let me do one more before my friend Don Gavin, who I interviewed yesterday. If you guys like my comedy and stuff and you like Boston is a treasure trove of comics from Patrice O'Neill, Conan O'Brien, Jay Leno, Joe Rogan, Louis C.K. I mean, the list goes on and on and on. Jay Leno, Stephen Wright. Stephen Wright. Anyways, Don Gabin was one of the still still. If if there was some justice in the world, he would be a household name and just just he was just born a comedian.

Everything out of his mouth is funny and stuff. So I had a nice chat with him. Let me do one more story before we show that interview. This one really got me. Italian nurse strangles doctor girlfriend. The nurse is a man, by the way, strangles his doctor girlfriend, claims she gave him the coronavirus. You goddamn guineas really make me laugh. Huh. Antonio, in English, you'd say to pace, but in Italian it's De Pace, 28, called the police Tuesday and confessed that he had killed his partner, Lorena Quaranta, over the infection.

He's pretty pissed at that, but I think he was lying. The Antichrist. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood. Oh, my God. Two pretty people too. Police arrived at their apartment and found Quarenta, 27, dead and DePache on the floor of this risk hut. He said in quotes, I killed her because she gave me the coronavirus.

That's what he told the investigators. Prosecutors found both DePache and Quarenta had tested negative for the virus and called DePache's claims nonsense. and Cuarenta had tested negative for the virus and called DiPaci's claims nonsense. The couple worked together in a Sicilian hospital fighting the pandemic in one of the worst hit countries where more than 13,000 people have died. DiPaci was rushed to the hospital where he worked. They rushed him to the hospital with the colleagues managing to treat him and saved his life in the days before the death quaranta had been active on social media facebook page commenting on the challenges facing the medical personnel in italy she said now more than ever we need to demonstrate responsibility and love for

life you must show respect for yourselves your families and the country apparently he wasn't listening i didn't read that. You must think and remember those that dedicate their lives daily looking after our sick. What a fucking psycho. I want to know what the real beef was about. You know what it probably was? He wanted a ZD Al Dente.

She overcooked it. She made it mouchard. Then you kill? Psych. Psycho. Guarantee she was banging a radiologist or something. Just my take on it. That's horrible. Real quickly before we go to the Gavin interview, I want to thank

One Time Contributions. You guys, we need this more than ever. As you know, I don't do live comedy. Nobody is right now. And the show's free four days a week. And I want to thank, you can make One Time Contributions at four days a week. And I want to thank you can make one time contributions at Nick dip.com. I want to thank Mark Chandler. Let me put these glasses on in case there's a Chinese name in here.

Mark Chandler, Canada. Jeff Yancey, Idaho. Matthew Houston, Pennsylvania. John Wilber, New York. Brian Bittner, Michigan. Anna Otori, New Jersey. Jeremy Starr, Connecticut. Alexander Wilson, Pennsylvania. Andrew Marshall, Jersey, Jeremy Starr, Connecticut, Alexander Wilson, Pennsylvania,

Andrew Marshall, Virginia, Christopher Clements, California, Robbie Curry, Florida, Anthony Wienieski, Ohio, William Mays, North Carolina, Edward Waltman, California, Scott Sutton, New York, Terrence Rafferty, New Jersey, Clyde Nix, Georgia, Sean Hanks, California, Mike McLaughlin, Connecticut, Frank Bites, Florida, Jaime Rodate, Texas. Thank you guys so much. I can't thank you enough. New monthly supporters. This is Patreon where you can sign up and get an extra story a day and you can ask me a question and you get access to all

the shows we've previously done these are patreon supporters dan uh mccammon jeffrey spence brian callahan listen to all these steve wilson joe from georgia steel gains the second uh doron martin frankie d liette mess dave decker guys i can't thank you enough um we need a place to vent and this is the show to fucking do it i'm sure i'll be chased someday off the internet by somebody there'll be a knock on the door and adam schiff who we haven't heard from isn isn't it great? Where's that fucking rat face? Anyway, thank you guys so much. Here's the interview I did with one of my comedy idols.

Any guy that came out of Boston, I don't care what your age is, looked up to this guy, Don Gavin. He was a monster. He's still working. He's been doing it for, gotta be now, 40-something years.

And as funny as ever. So I sat down with him uh here it is joining me right now on the nick topalo podcast if if you're a comedian from boston okay i don't care what your age is when you started and you bring up this guy's name uh we i don't think there's anybody more respected out of the boston scene He should be, in a fair world, he'd be a fucking universal name. Don, how are you? Very well, Nick. Thank you for that.

Was that my eulogy or my dying? You look way healthier than I expected. How much makeup is that, Don? Let's be honest. Makeup? No makeup. It's sun. I moved to Florida.

I get sun all over my body. You're in Florida? Yeah, I moved to Florida two months ago. Now, who would have guessed he picked a state known for its cocaine? I can't believe... What do you got? A penthouse in Miami? No, I don't have anything, but I do have a patio that I can sit outside

and read and whatever. They just closed my pool here. I live in a complex. They just closed it yesterday afternoon. I guess they didn't get the word. They didn't get the word anything was going on. There's about 40, 50 people swimming there yesterday. Nice idea.

Any of them Chinese? Don't worry about it. No, but they're all old. I'm like, they call me the kid down here. Where are you? The villages? No, well, no, it's me the kid down here. Where are you? The Villages? No, well, no, it's in Boynton Beach. Boynton?

Boynton Beach. Yes. It's like 890 units, but yeah. They're nice people. Old, but nice. And yeah, they're really into their bocce and swimming with viruses. Major sports down here. Let me tell you something, Gav.

I'm talking to Don Gavin, the legend from Boston. Let me tell you something. If the blow in the booze didn't kill you by now, this Chinese thing has no, it's not going to hurt you. With me, no. No chance. My tire system is pickled, so it's not a problem. Legendary drinker.

I'm going to play a clip of you. What is it, a new CD out? I know it's called Live With a Manhattan. Yeah, With a Manhattan. It's a reconditioned one. I found them in the attic. No, it's an older one, but it still stands up. Does it ever.

That's the sound of a great comic. Your stuff stands. It's timeless. It's like a Rolling Stones song. Here's a clip of one of my comedy heroes live with a Manhattan. Here's Don Gavin. I robbed a bank last year. Now, this is kind of a secret.

Pull in. I did it from a secret, pull in. I did it, I did it from a drive up window. And I was serious about it, I rented a gun, and I'm in the line. And I wrote a note, I said, I have a gun, give me all of your money. And finally it was my turn, that vacuum thing came down.

I put the note and the gun in the vacuum. A few minutes later it came back, two guns and a different note. It said, we have an armed guard in here. I'm like, oh man. Not expecting gunplay. And I'm bad with money, I'm a gambler, I'm a rambler, I'm a with money. I'm a gambler.

I'm a rambler. I'm a long way from home, but I, wow, more than I expected. Okay, good. And we have so many casinos opening now.

All the casinos, I don't care where you go in the world, casinos, they put up these facetious signs like they're worried about your well-being.

Have you seen these signs? Bet with your head, not over it. So I'm pushing my chips in with my hand. No, have you seen these signs? If you have a gambling problem, who else would be in the room? All right? If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER. So I called them up. I said, look, I have an ace and a six, and the dealer has a seven. Maybe I called them up. I said, look, I have an ace in the six and the dealer has a seven. Maybe the best joke ever. He is not waiting all night.

Gav, I told my manager, the guy doesn't laugh at much. He almost fucking flipped the car over. Let me ask you a question. What did I want to ask you? Are you still gambling? You used to come into Nick's, I remember, with a paper under your arm. You'd go right into the office, and I think you had a thermos of black Russians. I'll ask you about that.

You'd go into the office. I'd go, what's he doing in there? And you were betting college basketball. You still do that? College basketball. I was, yeah. In fact, I was out in Las Vegas when all this came down. You know, I

performed out at the Tropicana, and I would still be in Vegas right now. I would be leaving next week. I used to go to the Final Four. We went to about nine of them. Did you really? We didn't get great seats, so now the last 15 years, we've been going to Vegas instead. Yeah.

College basketball is still the thing. But unfortunately, they can't, you know, what happened, everything slowly get canceled. And then I even bet the Players Championship in golf, my guy was leading Matsuyama, and I would have made $2,000 for $100, and they

canceled that. They said they couldn't have any fans. I said, I don't give a shit if if this fan's dead as long as i get the money yeah why do you need fucking fans for golf uh i remember let me let me ask you this story lenny clark another legend from boston one of don's close friends lenny told me this the the boston comedy scene few people don't know started a place called the ding ho restaurant chinese restaurant and uh lenny said it was like one of the first open mics or whatever you came in he didn't know you you didn't know him and you said you went on stage you told him it was your first time doing

comedy whatever and he said you were so goddamn funny that he actually got in your face afterwards saying that you lied i was at the comedy connection oh it was a connection before we opened the uh-ho. Yeah, and he was going, so, you know, you're full of shit. You've been working down in New York. I go, I'm a teacher. I teach full time. I've never been on stage in my life.

And, yeah, we went at it. We had a little in the kitchen. We had a lot of pans and pots around. I mean, and just listen to the comics, folks, who have come out of Boston. And I'm not kidding you. If you ask anybody, they would say Don is probably the best. I mean, we've got Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien, Louis C.K., Dane Cook, Dana Gould, Dennis Larry, Lenny Clark, Joe Rogan, Paula Poundstone, Stephen Wright, Gary Gullman. I mean, what is it, Gav?

stone stephen wright gary gallman i mean what is it gav what is it about boston and our fucking asshole attitude that the rest of the country finds so funny i think that it's uh we're used to fighting uh against many things uh weather for primarily right and attitudes a lot too so there's some resiliency there that we don't take no for an answer. And all the people you mentioned, think about the different styles within that. There is no generic Boston style, you know, other than with the exception, maybe Paul would be an exception, but most of those people were pretty much aggressive in your face people, you know. Stephen Wright wouldn't have been. I guess maybe Leno wouldn't have been. But a lot of the other ones were pretty much, you know most stephen wright wouldn't have been i guess maybe leno wouldn't have been but a lot of the other ones were were pretty much you know at the time of the year was you're supposed

to be good with your hands as well as your mouth yes you did i actually got into it with dana ghoul i you know i i had been i had been you know i was new, playing at Knicks, probably a year or two. I still have my football muscles from college, which, you know, they really love in this business. I'm wearing a suit jacket, like two sizes too small. And Dana Gould goes on after me and starts bad-mouthing my act, you know. Right. As I'm leaving, and I stopped, and I waited on the staircase for the show to end. And he comes down, and I go, hey, come here.

And I literally, not hard, but I pushed him against the wall. I had my hands on his chest. I go, I might be new at this, but I do know you don't badmouth the comic that was on. But I was pretty raw, and I can understand where he's coming from, because he wasn't doing that good. And I would have hated me, too. But, you know, that's not what I was doing, and that's when I got mad I don't fucking bullshit me so listen to this listen to this Gab I I go later that night I go to play it against Sam's Barry Katz is there Barry Katz had already signed a bunch of my friends I was the only one he hadn't signed yet and I wanted

to work with him Barry Katz comes over to me and goes hey DiPao i heard that i heard that shit you pulled with my client dana ghoul at nicks earlier and uh i said to him i go well barry would you want to hear my side of the story he goes sure here's my card call me on monday then he signed me on monday really is that classic barry cats now barry barry cats what originally was a stand-up did you know that that's yes he he went on stage and attempted to tell jokes he wasn't really a stand-up yeah but and so when he went on to fame and fortune i'm going is this the same barry cats that i thought i knew i was rather amazed itself but uh yeah he said yeah he he had a good eye for talent, that's for sure. And he gave us a lot of rooms to work all over New England.

But let me ask you, I remember this too. I sent a couple of my friends and one of my family members to see me at Nick's. It was your show. I think I was doing a guest set on like a Friday or Saturday night at Nick's. So I come off. They never mentioned me in the conversation they fucking talked about you for the next month and a half how i'll never be as good in which we all fucking turned out they were right uh but they never even brought up my set i couldn't believe it who was that guy who was that do you still bring uh black russians on stage you should bring a

thermos of like black russian do you still know that i've known to have a black russian on occasion just during the day and at night but uh yeah next that next comedy stuff all those guys went through that i started next with chance langton remember chance langton do i Do I ever? I think I saw him. Teddy Bergeron. Teddy fell by the wayside rather quickly and then Chance dissipated. And yeah, I ran that place for years without getting paid to book it,

which I found out later you can get paid. Not the businessman you might imagine. Yeah, me either, Gav. Look at this shirt. I look like fucking Ellen DeGeneres. I love that I used to come to Nick's. I used to be in the greeneneres. You, I love that. I love that. I used to come to Nick's. I used to be in the green room and you and Lenny would come in and Roger said or whatever.

And you guys, you know, you had your fucking recreational and you go, you said to me, hey, rookie, are you going to do this shit? I go, no. He goes, you go, then get the fuck out. Nick's Nick's was basically I used to describe Nick's to people. It was basically a crack. It was a crack house with a stage, basically. Oh, okay. Was Jackie still alive?

I didn't mean that, Jackie. If you're still around. He's still around, yeah. That was the place. When I first started, they used it as a, it used to be Nick's Steakhouse. And they started that as a kind of a tax write-off. And every week they would try to sabotage the little comedy show I was doing. The stage would collapse. The sound system wouldn't work. The light couldn't work. The door was locked. About over and over and over. And finally they're going, hey, you know what? This is

drawing some people in. And so I was taking the door then. And I was taking it in the ass actually because I was paying them. You know, making $11, 11 losing money and then they said oh we'll give you a salary and we'll move upstairs to the bigger room and so eventually over the years when you know the comedy boom took off we were doing five on my night and saturday night we're doing five shows a night five shows three upstairs and two downstairs yes i i do remember that and and i you know i'd have to people ask why boston comics work so fast and shit and i'd say well do you know who don gavin is or lenny

clark and how fast they talk and then i said put a put an eight ball between him before that and and then we'd have to go on and follow i'd have to follow don gab who do you normally gavin's only guy i know that would come out to a cold audience, because in Boston, if it was your own show, you were the host. Gab would come out, and you're like, oh, and it's a cold audience. Gab would have them crying in a minute and a half, and then I'd have to go on.

I've been doing it about fucking 18 months and have to follow that. And, you know, I didn't know back at the time it was good for me. And you and Sweeney, and, but I want to to know why, like Sweeney sort of got sidetracked with recreational and Kenny sort of just, you know, what you never you use. I don't know. You strayed the state. Now it never it never interfered with you. Don't you think writing wise and you always had new shit? Yeah. Yeah. Well, it interfered that the fact that I was content, I guess,

living in Boston. And I never tried. I mean, I did nine years in a row at Nixon Saturday nights. I only missed about three weeks. And we just stayed there. And we didn't need outsiders either. You mentioned Colin Quinn when he came in. He had a rough past.

But eventually the people in Boston loved him. But anybody came in from outside, we would just like it was a row of killers that would try to knock the guy down. Well, I remember I believe today is still winter. I remember a guy I think was Ronnie Gold from New York. He had just done The Tonight Show and he came to town and I think I was there. You were on and I think Sweeney and then, you know, and I think I was there. You were on, and I think Sweeney, and then, you know, I mean, just murdering, and then, what's his name?

Chance, aforementioned Chance Langton came up the stairs with his guitar, and you go, let's throw him on before they bring, and I mean, the poor bastard was eating a pile of shit, and you know how Nick's audiences were, fucking, get off the, you know, fuck, he didn't know what hit him, the poor bastard it was a blood sport

and you were the godfather by the way, yeah, I mean Jack Gallagher and Rodgers you know, there was just one after another, after another let me ask you, now you're in Florida, so what are the gigs you're doing in Florida?

because I live in Georgia now. I could actually come down and fucking... Yeah, the other states were closed. No, have you been to Savannah, Don? Savannah, Don, no, I have not been. It's like Savannah, only darker. You would love you would love Savannah

picture those bars in Manhattan all over the place only with nobody in them and I'm talking pre-coronavirus you go in there on Saturday night

there's 10 stools open with the most beautiful bars the most delicious food you're coming up you have to come up and it's your type of job you sound like an advocate I am delicious food. You're coming up. You have to come up. It's your type of job.

You sound like an advocate. I am. I'm fucking running for mayor of this place. The other thing I wanted to ask you, what else did I want to get to? Oh, I have to admit that I stole something from you. No, you're not the first. Well, I know. But here's the line,

and I've heard other people using it, and I fucking, you know, when you said the guy was in his late hundreds. Oh, yeah. That's a throwaway. It's a throwaway. Yeah, I would never, but even that, every time I say it, I feel guilty. But here's the best compliment. I've been doing it about five, six, seven years. You and I, I don't know, we went out after a gig after Nick somewhere. And you said to me and you were shit based. I needed a translator from Dorchester. And you said you said to me, hey, there's only two guys I don't want to fucking follow you and Lenny. And I fucking couldn't sleep that night. It was like Ted Williams telling me that I fucking could

hit, you know, with whiskey. I must have been shit-faced. Yes, you were three sheets through. I was so goddamn excited. And what goes, when's, what, have you been back to Boston? Is there any comedy left, Kev, after that empire that you helped create? Is anything left? Well, everything changed, you know. There was a second and a third wave, but not like before.

And I think the whole comedy thing, when you got in, after your illustrious career at the University of New Hampshire. Maine. Huh? Maine, not New Hampshire. How dare you? That's how much I know, Mr. Orono. Yeah, Orono.

Yeah, try to explain where that is. Yeah, you just keep going. That's all. It's up there somewhere. Maine. Yes. I was a running back. I ran a 4-8-40. No. Yeah, Kenny Roddison used to come up there to party. That's how good a school

it was as far as that goes. So what's your personal life like? Well, I'm glad to be down here in the good weather anyway sitting outside i don't know when we're going to get back to work i do a lot of cruises and i've already had eight of them canceled so now it looks like it's going to be later and then it's i think this is going to hurt my olympic chances this was my last shot no you're not you're not going away uh i remember you stole one of the roasts, the Comedy Central roast.

Who were we roasting? Dennis, when you came on like the priest? Oh, yeah, it was a character, yeah. Where did that come from? Well, no, they said you want to just be on a dais. And I said, not really. I said, I'll be his parish priest. And they went out and got the whole uniform. Half the people there actually thought I was a priest.

Even after the show, they thought I was a priest. I heard of a couple of confessions. Well, look, you got that face that you'd like to bang a Cub Scout. I mean, let's be honest. I've never seen anybody devastate. Again, Steve Sweeney, that's saying a lot. Shake the rafters

at Nick's like you did it in the fucking heyday. So you're in Boynton Beach. There's got to be gigs around there are there what are there gigs around there there's got to be clubs oh well i guess eventually again i only came in in january so then i worked in vegas a couple weeks and uh and then all this came down so uh hopefully this will blow over eventually and uh we'll get organized and get back to the ships and stuff but uh I'm not retired by any means. I was working all the time.

How big is your house in Savannah? Because I may need a little place to stay. 7,800 square feet. That's enough for me. That's the maid's quarters. But the house itself, 48. No, it's like 2,800 square feet. And we got like four bedrooms.

And I'm telling you, you would love this town, Gav. It's not like a retirement community because there's colleges here. There's young people. There's people my age, your age. Like I said, there's bars and restaurants. Everything's within walking distance. You got right on the river. They shoot.

They film. I moved down here because I wanted to punch Alyssa Mil right on the river. They shoot, they film. I moved down here because I wanted to punch Alyssa Milano in the face. I thought I might meet her at an abortion protest. Maybe grab those titties. I swear to God, you would fucking love this play. I

know what you like. So, plug what, you got a website and all that? I know you I know you missed a tech. Website? Yeah. Nicky Henley. Nick Henley.

Nick Henley. Nick Henley. What, did you get a flat tire on fucking 95 South? I'll just, I'll let that continue to go on. We're still trying to do the Nantucket Comedy Fest, but what you haven't shown up for yet. I don't like Kevin Flynn. No, I'm fucking kidding. I love Kevin.

Nantucket, yeah, I don't know. My politics, no, I've been there once or twice. Have you really? I actually, well, you remember when Chance Langton used to do the Cat Tan Roof? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, but that wasn't doing the festival. No, that wasn't doing the festival, but I remember getting chlamydia there,

so it's a good island. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, but that wasn't during the festival. No, that wasn't during the festival, but I remember getting chlamydia there, so it's a good island. Oh, yeah. Honestly, I don't want to follow you, fucking Jackie Flynn. I just can't talk that fast anymore. But the name of the album is Live With... Go ahead, sorry. I've slowed down a lot in my older years, I think. I don't think so.

Live With a Manhattan. And guys, if you haven't seen Gavin live, seriously, he's a legend, not just in Boston. And like I said, if there was any justice in the world and if there wasn't all that blow at Knicks, I think this guy would be a household name. Don, great talking to you, man. Seriously, since I'm in Georgia and you're in Florida, I've got to come down there. I've got to go your direction. Have you got your toehold on the clubs down there?

There are no clubs, actually. I do not a lot of road work, but I finally got a manager who knows what he's doing. And you make a point with the podcast. Yeah, this is, I mean, thanks to my fans. I've been doing it 30-something years. Finally, people come out, they pay to see me, and they contribute to this show. Donald Trump is the best thing that happened to me.

I've always sort of leaned right in my politics. I've never seen anybody rock a room like you. Go get his album, Live with a Manhattan. It's on iTunes, right? Yes. It's on all that stuff.

It's serious. It's virtual reality with Jim Serpico. He's the guy that rearranged it. Jimmy Serpico is the guy that kind of rearranged it. Jimmy Serpico. Help me out a lot. Virtual comedy. Virtual comedy. Live with the Manhattan.

Hey, Gav, it was great talking to you, man. I really do want to see you in person. Yeah, because I've been so busy the last three weeks, so I'm glad I was able to fit you in. Imagine a couple of Chinamen have bat soup and I lose $200,000 on the stock market. What the fuck's going on in this world? There you go.

All right. Thank you, Don. Thank you. Nick, see you. We'll talk to you again. Bye. I want to thank Don Gavin for doing that. One of my comedy heroes.

Go out and see him and get his album live with the Manhattan that he shot in Manhattan. And I want to thank you guys for supporting the show. Again, we can't do it without you. Stay safe out there and don't forget Cameo. You want me to send a personal video message roasting one of your friends cameo.com. Remember,

you guys think and I'll say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here on Monday. Have a great weekend and stay Corona free. Bye. guitar solo I'm out.