The Nick DiPaolo Show - Robbie Bernstein | Nick Di Paolo Show #1651

Episode Date: November 13, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo interviews comedian Robbie Bernstein and more! Support the show and get 15% off your first Perfect Jean order when you use code NICKDIP15 at https:...//www.theperfectjean.nyc Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! SEE NICK LIVE: 2/20/2025 -- Bricktown Comedy Club – Tulsa, OK TIX:  https://www.nickdip.com/tour  For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com   

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Avrion certo il langorino! Ovviamente non panino! No, no, no! Un boccone ricco di gusto! Si conosco il posto giusto! Siam d'accordo, su, su, via! Tutti alla piadineria! È tornata la solare! Con crudo e stracciatella!
Starting point is 00:00:22 Aggiungi salsa mango, aglio nero o peperone! Amerai ogni boccone! La piadineria. La più buona che ci sia. La Piatineria. La più buona che ci sia. La Piatineria. La più buona che ci sia. La Piatineria. La più buona che ci sia. La Piatineria. La più buona che ci sia. La Piatineria. La più buona che ci sia.
Starting point is 00:00:32 La Piatineria. La più buona che ci sia. La Piatineria. La più buona che ci sia. La Piatineria. La più buona che ci sia. La Piatineria. La più buona che ci sia.
Starting point is 00:00:40 La Piatineria. La più buona che ci sia. La Piatineria. La più buona che ci sia. La Piatineria. La più buona che ci sia. La Piatineria. La più buona che ci sia. La Piatineria. I'm running through a motherfucker face. Hi, welcome to English 101. How are you folks? On a Wednesday, great to be with you.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Great show today. In a few minutes, we have a very special guest. Very funny guy, Rob Bernstein. He is a co-host with Dave Smith of the very popular Part of the Problem podcast. That's the name of it, right? It's not your part of the problem, I hope. That's my paranoia. He's got a special out live from the Denver Comedy Garage. And you'll be able to see it online and very funny. He's a smart very funny dude, and we had a nice sit down and talk What else do I say at the top of the show anything to Ellis is that
Starting point is 00:01:56 Hello hello um Hello Who's the guy that sells gold wow I'm I'm telling you, I'm following the path of my old man's brain. I'm getting nervous. Those concussions. Oh, they were mild. You just had your bell rung. Get back in there. Cut to me in a diaper next week. Get back in there. You get back in there. Anyhow, a lot going on. Let's get, we'll do one story at the top before we bring on our special guest. And I thought this was interesting. Well, the headline, at least I wrote it, Fuck FEMA.
Starting point is 00:02:34 When I hear FEMA, I always think of the big bone in your thigh. That's a femur. But I'm from Boston. I heard he broke his FEMA. Who? Cousin Tommy broke his FEMA, cocksucker. Have a Sam Adams, it'll take away the pain. You got to see Crowder do Mark Wahlberg. Oh my God, it's so good.
Starting point is 00:03:00 I didn't do it. That's what we say. I mean, I didn't do it. That's what they're talking about. That's how Mark Wahlberg talks. Okay, nothing. All's what we say. I mean, I didn't do it. That's what they say. That's what Mark Wahlberg said. What am I saying? Okay, nothing. All right.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Fuck FEMA. The Federal Emergency Management Agency, that's what it stands for, supervisor, you know, she was accused of telling staff to skip hurricane ravaged homes, this is during North Carolina that brutal storm, that had Trump campaign signs She claims it wasn't an isolated incident and that she's been she's been hung out to dry by by FEMA and I don't know you pompous
Starting point is 00:03:42 Snob nose English giant twer, scumbag, fuck face, dick head, ass Maybe she's not, maybe she is. Marnie Washington, boy black women, you're getting caught doing a lot of bad shit lately. I'm not trying to be racist, I'm just saying you're in the news a lot. We just did something right a couple days ago. Nick what was it? I don't know. I don't mean to throw that out there but somebody higher up good. Marnie Washington who was fired last week over this saga broke her silence in
Starting point is 00:04:13 an interview with YouTube podcaster Roland Martin on Monday arguing she had just been following FEMA protocol. In other words she was just doing what her bosses do. FEMA and this is her and i quote fema preaches avoidance first and then de-escalate what does that mean avoidance of what first and i know you're going to say well they were they were fema people were getting attacked or threatened and shit yeah because you weren't helping them we heard one story a lady called fema and she's house is floating away, literally, and they go, we can't go by the road close side. That was their answer to her. Is that what you call avoidance? FEMA preaches avoidance first, then de-escalation. Are those rules
Starting point is 00:05:02 that why would you have that in place when you're helping people in an emergency think about how divided and fucked up we are this is not isolated this is a colossal event of avoidance Washington 39 years old said not just in the state of Florida you'll find avoidance in the Carolinas senior leadership will lie to you and tell you that they do not know she added Washington accused FEMA that Washington is her not the fuck Accused FEMA of lying after the federal agency and look I sort of believe her too because it's a federal agency It's full of shit and they would hang somebody out to dry. But Miss Washington, that's the old, oh, Hitler told me to do it so I did it story. At what point do you go, you know what, I'm not going to either work for you or I'm going
Starting point is 00:05:53 to break protocol and save some people. Don't just use that as an excuse and pawn it off on everybody. Washington accused FEMA of lying after the federal agency said she had no authority to give the directive to disaster relief workers who are canvassing homes in Lake Placid, Florida in the wake of last month's Hurricane Milton. The FEMA official said hers, excuse me, said her supervisor had approved the message and that there were incident reports that would prove some residents had shown political hostility to workers in the area.
Starting point is 00:06:26 Yeah, based on what? Based on you guys showing up a few days late. They didn't just go, oh, look, it's the federal government and they work for Biden. Fuck you. And getting in the way of actual people that were rescuing. Is that what you want? Yeah. Is that what you want us to believe? Senior leadership will lie to you and tell you, point to the man, that's right blame it on the man, and tell you that they do not know but if you ask the disaster survivor assistance crew leads and specialists what they're experiencing in the field they will tell you, she said. Demand for FEMA to
Starting point is 00:06:59 give you those incident reports, they will substantiate what is happening to us in the field. You have to demand the reports from them. FEMA is very well aware of the incidents that take place, not just with my crew, but with all the crews in the states, Marnie Washington added. Avoid Holmes advertising Trump. This is in quotes. She wrote in a best practices message to employees, the Daily Y reported citing. reported, citing copies of the memo. And she's a black woman, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say she votes Democrat,
Starting point is 00:07:30 she works for the government, she fucking hates Trump, and she was more than glad to do it. That's my conclusion. As a result of the edict, workers told the outlet that they ultimately skipped roughly 20 homes displaying Trump signs or flags. This is out fucking rages even though it happened months ago. Can you imagine reversing the issue? Can you imagine Trump's theme of people going, no way, no way, they voted for fucking Obama and for no way, that's a black house. Honestly, it's the equivalent of that. Or flags between late October and early November. By ignoring the homes, those residents were denied the opportunity to sign up for federal
Starting point is 00:08:08 disaster relief assistance in the wake of the Category 3 hurricane landfall. And announcing Washington's termination, FEMA Administrator Deanne Criswell, I think I'm seeing a pat, another very feminine woman working for the government, said the directive was a violation of the agency's core values and principles to help people regardless of their political affiliation wa wa wa wa wa wa Outrageous Outfriggin rages and shit like that doesn't even the story comes and goes just like Trump getting shot. No biggie. Let's move on
Starting point is 00:08:44 The story comes and goes just like Trump getting shot. No biggie. Let's move on Unfriggin we are in a place. I can't even anyways. Let me calm down before I do this Hey this fall it's time to live in the perfect gene Whether you're hitting a football game or off to happy hour with the guys the perfect gene has what you need The perfect gene has the stretch to accommodate Thanksgiving dinner and are comfortable enough to wear for a full day on the couch. My type of jean right there. They feel like sweatpants but look great for date night. Okay, this is unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:09:18 But it's not unbelievable because they sent me some and you know me, I watched 14 hours of college football and I ate like an animal didn't have to take off a belt or anything loosen a button with six different fits waist sizes from 26 to 50 hama hama and lengths from 26 to 38 perfect gene has the perfect fit for you it's finally time to stop crushing your balls and uncomfortable jeans by going to the perfect jean dot NYC my listeners get 15% off your first order plus free shipping free returns and free exchanges when you use code Nick dip 15 at checkout that's 15% off for new customers at the perfect jean dot NYC
Starting point is 00:10:00 with promo code Nick dip 15 support the show and tell them I sent you. Fuck your khakis and get the perfect jean. My guest today, a very funny comedian. He's the co-host of the very popular Dave Smith part of the Problem podcast. I hope I got that right. He's the co-host and a producer and we work together at skankfest I thought he had one of the best sets of the night actually
Starting point is 00:10:30 Very funny guys got a new special out called live from the Denver Comedy Garage It's our buddy Rob Bernstein Rob. What's going on? Hey, thank you so much for having me on it's an absolute pleasure you you got it man I watched a little bit cuz I'm hugely busy, you know stand-up set. We can't we have time to do nothing I mean what with all the football and shit in the porn No, but I did I watched about ten minutes it was very good and I did that that night Rob I thought you fucking you had a great set What's it? Let me ask you a question. I don't know if my fans are I'm sure they know the podcast,
Starting point is 00:11:08 you know part of the problem. I don't know how much how familiar you're a libertarian, right? Are you really like Dave? Yes, I I don't know if I have I'm not as smart as Dave is but I have a lean libertarian. I don't know that I have as cohesive of a philosophy as he does But in short and I'm sure you'll agree with me on this. I think government's dumb. Let's have less of it That's basically my core philosophy. Yeah, that's what I was gonna that was my next question. It's like, okay
Starting point is 00:11:37 Am I a fucking libertarian because I believe in those if those are only two tenants and I know they always go Yeah, but the pot thing and the drugs hang should be legalized and I'm like okay fuck it if I can get the other things I don't care if everybody's fucking high on the highway I find almost every conservative in the country is actually a libertarian it's one of two things they either don't know what libertarians are so they just don't identify or use the word right or it's they really are a libertarian but they want to win and so they just go well I'm gonna I'm gonna be more in the conservative camp because I hate the liberals so much I can't have them
Starting point is 00:12:12 running the country I need a win so they're more in the conservative lane right but I think if you actually break down the libertarian philosophy most conservatives would go yeah that's what I am. Yeah, look, I never called myself or referred to myself as a conservative. I just got pigeonholed and people keep calling you that every interview I've done over the last 35 years, all four of them. Does Mad Magazine come?
Starting point is 00:12:42 You know, they refer to me as a right-wing conservative, and I said, that's because in show business, if you want to call stand-up show business, like Artie Lang said, I think we're the fucking plumbers of show business world. Isn't that great? If you lean, you know, I'd sit at the comedy seller table in New York with all these closeted lib comedians.
Starting point is 00:13:06 If you said two things that were to the right out of a hundred things, that would make you a Nazi or a fucking staunch conservative. And I used to go, hey, I'm pro fucking choice, or I was. I'm not for killing babies when they're 11 years old, you know, third grade, walking in fucking club moment. But, but if you were just, you know, if you were just, like I said, out of 100 issues, you were right on two of them, they brand you conservative. And I'm like you and Dave, just the government, like Reagan said, is the problem.
Starting point is 00:13:46 So... It's a strange world we live in now where they're even trying to pin Joe Rogan as being a conservative and he's not a conservative. I think it's almost the... I mean in the old school world where Hollywood I think had more power and more influence over our careers, you know, that was an easy thing to go. That guy's a conservative. We can't work with him. So I think that was just an easy title and label
Starting point is 00:14:09 to throw on people. We're talking to Rob Bernstein, and he has a special out live from the Denver Comedy Garage. Very funny. Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. And with Joe Rogan, I'm glad you brought it up, because I don't know what's going on with me and Joe. He had me on his show like three times, three, maybe four, three, three or four times.
Starting point is 00:14:30 And always like them. He's a Boston guy. He would always praise me in articles and saying DiPaolo is the first guy that I saw that didn't look like a comedian look like a jock. And I was like, Oh, you can be funny and be that guy, you know And he still says nice stuff about me, but he hasn't had me on in about five years It's my fault as far as I can't remember the maybe you even heard it You'll probably listen at his podcast more than I was he but he had me on during Trump's first during Trump's first
Starting point is 00:15:02 Go through the whole Steele dossier thing and I went out there and I was defending Trump and and his producer who I think doesn't like me I think Jamie might be the problem I could be wrong there too I don't know that's what people tell me but they kept pulling up articles from the New York Times first of all Joe goes I don't know what you're talking about with the Steele dossier and this was in the middle of it. And I go, Joe, I think you're kidding me, right? And then they kept pulling up articles. Look how many times Trump lied.
Starting point is 00:15:32 They're pulling up the New York Times, LA Times, fucking NBC News. And I said, guys, consider the fucking source. And they didn't really know what I was talking about. And now I see Joe and he sounds like me and everybody's calling him a genius once again, I'm fucking out in the cold. Well, your thoughts.
Starting point is 00:15:49 I'm not even asking you questions, I'm just bitching. You're my psychiatrist, Rob, today. I love an aggressive, angry Nick DePaulo. I'll sit here all day to listen to you scream on anything, my friend. I see Bernstein, I like psychologist, New York. Well, up until they you know, they came up with the COVID thing, the Russia collusion was the biggest lie I'd ever heard in my entire
Starting point is 00:16:11 life. It was two full years of pretending that Donald Trump was working for the Russians, only for us to discover, not only was it bullshit, and me and Dave were calling bullshit the whole time, but it was Hillary Clinton in the deep state, just made that whole thing up and it stuck for two full years So yeah, if anything, I don't remember that particular conversation But it was amazing that you had to have your wits about you to scream against the entire machine and go No, this is an absolute lie because for two full years they sold it Mueller kept rolling out and pretending now we got him We got him Adam Schiff when he could get his butt plug of it, his asshole was saying the
Starting point is 00:16:47 same thing. I've seen the information myself. That explains the bug eyes. Yeah, exactly. Now let me ask you this, Rob, don't you think, and I hope so. And I really do. I hope this. I hope the fuck Trump goes after those guys, including Schiff those guys should be in fucking jail this will see I think this is a great test to see if the machine is still the machine or some things are good somebody has to go you know maybe it's not going to be a senator Schiff
Starting point is 00:17:18 or whatever but all those people in for fucking Hillary that fat fucking thick ankle whore she was behind this she fucking her and the DNC hand in hand and Joe's going I don't know what you're talking about I'm like is this willful ignorance it's just hard for me to believe it now he's and I love Joe I still love Joe I still love him and I understand he doesn't have to put anybody on a show I was grateful he did I'm just sad like an. He's not obligated to give me that either, but it's not like Joe Rogan not to be kind of a stand-up guy. Well, I've never been on the show and I don't have direct access. I'm not going to... Oh, I thought you did. I'm trying to fuck up his career.
Starting point is 00:17:57 Rob said, listen dude, you get your own problems, I got my own problems. I know, this is this is speaking. What I'd really like to see Donald Trump do is go after the deep state and go. Hey, they tried to assassinate me. Let's go investigate that. Let's get all the January 6 people out of jail and let's start investigating the FBI and what they pulled on that nonsense
Starting point is 00:18:19 in terms of going after the political opponents. I think Donald Trump's just slick enough to know that he doesn't want that heat. And even though they did him as dirty as they possibly could with those five nonsense court cases, all of which have basically fallen apart, except for whether or not they might seize his buildings in New York. But I think they're, I don't think they're going to be moving forward on that. So yeah, they broke convention and they tried to weaponize the justice department.
Starting point is 00:18:43 They had five phony court cases. The Fannie Willis one was particularly funny to me and that they actually, that was the most substantial court case. But the, uh, the deep state just has bad middle management that they hired some slut who couldn't not hire her own boyfriends that she could take free vacations, like they're just dumb in terms of their middle management. Um, but I don't think, I don't think Donald Trump's going after Hillary Clinton. I don't think he's going to go after any of them,
Starting point is 00:19:10 but I would love to see him actually go after, uh, the FBI and the other people that had their hands in these things. Let's start with fucking Ray at the top. I mean that day, day one in office, let's have the Ray Epps meeting. Let's find out what the deal with that guy was that every January 6th person had to be in jail, but then the New York Times is like, why are we giving this guy
Starting point is 00:19:30 who was the instigator a hard time? One of the more remarkable storylines. And on that regard, I mean, just talk about the evilness of our country. So somehow Tucker Carlson got his hands on the January 6th footage. And they put up the footage of the shaman, right? The shaman, crazy guy.
Starting point is 00:19:48 And within two weeks of them putting out that footage, it became apparent to us all that that guy was walked around the building. He was outside afterwards saying, hey guys, Donald Trump told us to stand down. He wasn't a violent criminal. He's some kid with mental illness who spent too much time doing hot yoga. But this is the scary part is that once we were able to see that footage, we all realized, hey, that guy shouldn't be in jail. And they go, oh, we're letting him out.
Starting point is 00:20:14 But it has nothing to do with the footage that you all saw. And how do you not let us see all of the footage after that? How many people are now wrongfully in jail that if we could just see the footage of someone from the FBI opening up the door for them and then then just walking around and looking at the sights and scenes none of those people should be in jail That is I I hope that's what I think it will be one of his first moves to pardon those people It is just hilarious I've never seen the Democrat Party. They're not they're a
Starting point is 00:20:48 let's I've been I've been pushing this for a year. It hasn't caught on. So apparently it's not gonna I've been saying let's quit calling them Democrats, treating them like a legit, legitimate political party and treat them like the criminal, the criminal organization they fucking are. And yeah, an insurrection where there were no guns there was one gun used on a woman who was a vet and a trump van killed her by a fucking uh scumbag capitol cop with a shady past but let's throw people who are just standing anywhere near the building in a goddamn jail cell how fucking dare you and meanwhile letting these letting those letting prisons all
Starting point is 00:21:25 over the world empty into our fucking you know into our country folks for those of you watching the first half of the show I'm gonna say this again for the third day in a row because of the transition from Mug Club to you know you call it rumble rumble premium. We're in flux right now I don't even have like a place to tell you to go for the second half of the show Supposedly that's being worked on as we speak So that's all I can tell you in the meantime go to nick dip Dot-com and click on my tour date February 20th of 2025
Starting point is 00:22:02 Bricktown Comedy Club Tulsa, Oklahoma. I might have date drop in before that or whatever. Not sure. I just like looking at an empty schedule. Makes me feel good. Anyways, so now, second half of the show, a very funny comedian who's got a great special out, my buddy, Rob Bernstein.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Hi. Good night night everybody. I'm gonna be a rock star I'm gonna be a rock star I'm gonna be a rock star I'm gonna be a rock star I'm gonna be a rock star I'm gonna be a rock star I'm gonna be a rock star I'm gonna be a rock star I'm gonna be a rock star
Starting point is 00:22:58 I'm gonna be a rock star I'm gonna be a rock star I'm gonna be a rock star I'm gonna be a rock, I'm gonna be a man Thanks for watching!

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.