The Nick DiPaolo Show - Russia Threatens Musk | Nick Di Paolo Show #1205

Episode Date: May 9, 2022

Russia threatens Musk. Primal scream station. DeSantis told no by museum. New WH secretary hates Jews. Veiled threat, 90's Taliban return.

Music guitar solo Oh yeah, oh yeah. How are you folks? Welcome, welcome, welcome on a filthy Monday morning as usual. Welcome, welcome on a filthy Monday morning as usual. That was my faggy little dog, so don't judge it. That thing's been through hell since I bought it. Anytime it does something wrong, you spray it with a water bottle. Clorox, I think you put in a bleach, some type of shit.

It really helps them a lot. But she's a lesbian. That is a female dog and thinks it's a pit bull. You know, that's what happens when you tie it up to a swing set and leave it out all. I mean, they get kind of mean. But anyways, good to be back from a tremendous weekend. Let's recap. Governor's Comedy Club. Look, I've been doing that since the early 90s.

I'm embarrassed to say because of my age, I'm saying. But what a club. That place I've done in a million. That was the hottest show. First of all, they said it sold out really quick, which doesn't happen too often. I usually pick venues that are too big for me anyway. But that place was fucking mobbed

and there were 12 Proud Boys there, so I got that going for me. That's true. 12 Proud Boys. So I'm doing the right materials, I say. I mentioned that the next night in Peekskill, which is a little, you know, upstate a little bit in New York

and I caught some fag from the back. Boo! So I took him to task. I said, don't bad mouth my brother. I don't give a shit. I remember even Colin Quinn would get shit. People go, you know that when Tough Crowd was on, do you know that something like the Klan likes you on the internet?

Not the Klan, but some right supremacist, you know. And he was like, yeah, and Charlie Manson liked the Beatles. The fuck is your point, you know? But I'm not equating the Proud Boys with Charlie Manson. They're just, and the kid says to me, you know how you always say if you were younger, you'd be out there fucking joining Malay? He goes, we're doing this for you.

And before I forget, there was a guy. I got the best fans. Honest to God. As you get older, you fucking, you really see why people who have fans love their fans. This is, look, I got his business card at home. He gave me a paint, this, and a frame, by the way. Not the shirt, but this picture, this sketch in a frame. Look at the old man.

That's me getting tackled for a four-yard loss. But it's really frucking right on the money. Don't commit a felony around this guy. He's a sketcher out of shit. Fuck. I'll bring the business card in tomorrow. Denise C. or something on the anyways, couldn't have been sweeter.

I wonder if he was one of the proud boys. I'm not even sure. But it was tremendous. Thank you to James and Laura, who they're the owners of the club. James is just a classic. So if you live there, in that area, you go to that club.

Alright? It's been there forever, and they turned it around beautifully. Nightmare trip, by the way, travel-wise. The gigs were tremendous. Next night in Peekskill, big fucking theater. I stick my head out about 10 minutes before a show, and I'm seeing it's kind of spotted, the crowd.

And then I come out, and it's fucking, I mean, it's a decent size. The whole floor section all the way to the back. No empty. I mean, I was very pleasantly surprised. And I think this show, like Tommy said, they're not giving us the true numbers, YouTube and maybe even Facebook, of how many people watch your show.

Because I shake hands after the show with almost everybody, and almost everybody brings it up. And the ones that don't, you know, it's like being a Trump friend. They're afraid they're going to get outcast by their friends. But yeah, so anyways, great weekend.

Had fun up there. Real quick, I'm going to do this as fast as I can. I told you when Tommy brought me this date six months ago, I'm like, oh, that means flying into fucking New York. I don't want to,

you know, flying into Kennedy, but I got a hold of my opener last week. I'm like, oh, that means flying into fucking New York. I don't want to, you know, flying into Kennedy, but I got a hold of my opener last week. I said, just pick me up. You could bring me around. I'll throw you an extra hundred for the weekend. You know, drive. But then my father was very sick. My wife says, I got to come, you know, and that means we had to rent the car

so she could go visit him in Connecticut while I'm, you know, the world don't work anymore. That's all I'm going to say. First of all, fucking Kennedy Airport. I've never landed at a terminal that was less than 25 minutes away from the exit. I'm limping. I have a bad Achilles.

I have to go to a doctor. Limping like an old man. We must have walked three miles to get to the AirTran, which is a train that takes you to the fucking rental car, which is almost off the property of Kennedy. We get there. It's raining out. I hand the license registration.

Your car won't be ready for 45, 50 minutes. Bye-bye. What the fuck does the word reservation mean? So we call Uber. And let me tell you about Uber, folks. All you people that are bragging about it, fuck it, all right? right i had to download it i had my wife download it on her phone because i told you when i originally did it i used a credit card that expired later on or whatever and it would they locked me out somehow so i couldn't fucking anyway so she downloaded we we called some guy

meeting he can't find us this stupid fuck because he's probably been in the country for three minutes. So we're standing out there. It's fucking raining. I'm limping around like, eh. People are laughing at me. Then we call another guy. He shows right up. Of course, it takes an Indian kid.

Shows up in two seconds, finds us. $105, $106 ride to go 13 miles. New York. That was bump of the bumper, by the way. It's raining, bumping a bumper. I have never been so happy to be in the state of fucking Georgia. I called Tommy, do you ever book me in this motherfucking state again? I'll murder you. And he's like, I know, we got one more in the fall. Don't worry about it. I just don't understand. Life doesn't work up there anymore. My poor wife, the next day, wants to rent the car to go see her dad, right? Tommy picked us up at the little flea market hotel we stayed at. First thing I see, I'm not kidding, I go up the stairs, look down the hallway, there's a pit bull about half my height with a kid.

Again, Long Island. Might have been MS-13. COVID. Tattoos. This is a fucking hotel my wife picked up. Anyways, he was actually nice. The kid goes, sorry, whatever. So anyways, she goes to get a car the next day because she wants to go visit her dad, who's very sick.

And as she's going out the door, this is the last second she calls. And they go, no, we don't have any more cars. She had a reservation with Hertz. No, we don't have any more cars. What does reservation mean? What the fuck? Oh, my God. Then she calls another, Danbury, Hertz, and whatever the fuck.

They go, yeah, we have cars, but we're closing at one. Now it's like 20 or 12. She gets an Uber. She starts getting upset in the back. She starts crying. I wasn't with her. An old Colombian guy driving it goes, I don't like to see girls cry. I'll get you there.

I have to do some illegal shit. He goes, my wife said he went up on the fucking shoulder of the road, like bumping a bump of blowing by everybody, cutting in fucking, I mean, drove like a maniac. I don't, they were like five minutes to spend. Can you imagine you fucking people at Hertz go, uh, we close at one o'clock. My wife called them and said, look, it's my ETA is one Oh three, but I know you close at one, but he goes, we close at one. She goes, you can't wait three minutes. We close at one man. at one, but he goes, we close at one.

She goes, you can't wait three minutes. We close at one, man. Suck your mother's cock. By the way, that phrase makes sense today. Doesn't it? Sure it does. Anyways, that part of it, nightmare. I saw it all coming because I voted class pessimist in high school.

That's true. I'm not kidding you, Dallas. They invented a superlative for me. I am not even surprised. Class, I know you're not. That's why you laugh so hard. And which means, I call it class realist. Because I see this shit coming. The minute Tommy brought me that, I do all the shit in my head going,

well, now that means Josh can't just pick me up and cart me around. That means I'm going to have to rent the car. We're going to have to get ining and bumping on LIE. Of course, the flight was an hour late leaving Savannah. So that puts us on the LIE at like 4.30 on a Friday. Anyways, folks, I don't mean to whine, but I'm just saying. This is why when people go, you're going to keep doing the road. Yeah, you fucking keep doing it.

I love it. I'm going to fake a spinal cord injury. Fucking. I'm going to stay home and do my show. Fucking have a collar on. So apparently Russia threatened Elon Musk over the week. On Sunday, the former Deputy Prime Minister of Russia, Dmitry. Hey, is there any guys not named Dmitry? Of Russia, Dmitry Rogozin, threatened the Starlink founder for assisting

Ukraine. Starlink is the, you know, he owns a big tech company that helps out with, you know, what do you call it up there? Anyways, yes, so they're threatening him because he's helping out Ukraine, you know. Comrade, here is something that might be of interest to you. A transcript of the conversation between your helicopter pilot and his commander. We intercepted Dragonfly Wolf 10. Colorful names. Most over-the-top Russianussian ever uh elon musk thus is involved this is what they were saying about him in supplying the fascist forces in ukraine with military communication equipment and for this elon you will be held accountable like an adult oh that's kind of creepy no matter how much you play the fool danger Danger, Will Robinson.

Danger. No, Will Robinson. Danger. The word Nazi, this is, yeah, no, this is, you know, who's, Elon's Musk response was the word Nazi doesn't mean what he seems to think it means. The, is this in the, can I read it off the screen or is it? Yeah. From the testimony of the captured commander of the 36th Marine Brigade of the Armed Forces of Ukraine, Colonel Dmitry Kormenkov, it turns out that the Internet terminals of Elon Musk's Starlink satellite company were delivered to the militants. This is them talking about Ukraine, the Russians, of the Nazi Azov Battalion and the Ukrainian Marines in Maripol by military helicopters. They call them Nazis.

They're killing and shooting people. And according to our information, the delivery of the Starlink equipment was carried out by the Pentagon. We're also going to go after Verizon. No. Elon Musk thus is involved in supplying the fascist forces in Ukraine with military communication equipment. And for this, Elon, you'll be held accountable like an adult.

Oh, God help us. Elon's doing the right thing, man. He's got servers and satellites everywhere. He's trying to help out the guys. So I don't know. He's got a lot of balls. What exactly leads you to believe the Soviets were involved? I don't know. They signed it. Soviets involved anyhow uh the fucking russians are getting on my nerve okay and this is the tweet that he put out oh yeah yeah that's right there's a moment interesting tweet by elon this is why you gotta love him he goes if i die under mysterious circumstances it's been nice knowing oh my god how do you not love this guy him and zelensky right which is true i wouldn't have any tea within 3 000 miles of russia that's how he always gets the journalist at a hotel cup of coffee next thing you know they're shitting blood who the fuck do you think you are

who the fuck do you think you are who the fuck that's Dallas yelling at a waiter this weekend he's out there with his wife having anyhow how dare you they fucking Russians are really getting on you know what I hate it so much because then I watch the hockey playoffs

and goddamn Ovechkin is my second favorite hockey player in history. And you know, he's still pro-Russian. He don't even hide it. He's got like a shirt that says, Fuck Ukraine as he's skating around. He's a 6'4", 20, 203. One of the best goal scorers in the history of the NHL. And just, he laid somebody out the other night.

And, you know, he scores 50, 60 goals a year. He's got 700-something goals in his career. I still love him, okay? But I'm sure he enjoys the fruits of this country. Why'd that have anything to, I don't know, I wanted to bring up hockey. It's so good if you're not watching it, you're gay. You don't even like sports. You could put on any two teams, folks, I don't know, I wanted to bring up hockey. It's so good if you're not watching it, you're gay, you don't even like sports. You could put on any two teams, folks, I'm telling you, you'll be glued to the set.

If you like, you know, fast, violent, play the, a whistle, you don't even hear a whistle for like eight minutes. People have bodies of flying goalies. Primal Scream, that's what I did when the Bruins tied up. By the way, the Bruins... The series is tied at two. They lost the first two in Florida, won the next two in Boston. It's going to get ugly. I said Florida?

I'm not playing Florida. Yeah, what the fuck am I talking about? You know what? I'm a fag. I don't even know sports. Did you see the curling finals? How about the cornhole finals in Vermont? I did.

They were terrific, weren't they? Anyways, next story. Primal Scream Station. Oh, boy. Are you a liberal who can't get over the news that the Supreme Court might, and the key word might, be overturning Roe versus Wade, at least according to the leaked draft? That's the situation.

That's a sick question. You're a sick fucker. I didn't ask it yet. I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. Well, Michael Shulman of the New Yorker and a few people aren't familiar with the New Yorker. There you go. What more do you need to know? Look at this jack off.

This is what the elite, this is what New Yorkers, real liberal New Yorkers, that's what they look. You can pick them out of a fucking trillion people. Look at that elitist, Jackoff. He looks down at people. If you write for the New Yorker, you are the fucking devil. You are a devil, man.

Hates Jews. I do not. I'm just saying. Not even Jews. Well, Michael Schuman. That's not what I meant. I defend Israel every day on this show. I just hate guys like him who hate people like me.

Anyway, Shulman of The New Yorker, most left-wing publication ever, has a sort of helpful suggestion. Devastated by the abortion news, this is him, try primal screaming. A group called Abortion Access Front had set up a primal scream station with placards of the six conservative justices' faces. Can you imagine this fucking? An employee named Molly was, oh, we got her here, was seen dressed in a sequined vulva costume.

It was seen dressed in a sequined vulva costume. I went in high school. That's what I wore on Halloween. I went to all my mother's friends, and I said, lick me. One guy tried to stick a hot dog in my costume. Look at this. I wonder what she got behind it, because those legs ain't bad. Got the face of fucking Conan O'Brien, though.

Look at that. If only they looked like that. And not a fucking... And not a gash over a fight as I... I used to do a bit about... You know this. When a woman gets pregnant, sometimes they have to cut her. What the fuck it's called? You know.

Come on. Oh, you son of a bitch. Piscamati, ba-da-ba. Piscamatami. Whatever. But I used to say... I have a whole bit about vagina... Cut me, Mick.

Cut me. The vagina looks like Stallone's mouth. Anyway, this is my summer vulva outfit, she said. I would, guys should have just walked up and started jerking it right all over her costume. Unfortunately, we have to do so much protesting that I, well, you're just admitting you're a cunt with it. Protesting that I have a winter vulva outfit as well, she yelled. Step right up.

Be a primal screamer. Flip them off, some women counted down from three and screamed long and loud. Wobbling, Molly said. Wobbling? What is the woman who, what does she have, fucking Hodgkins? Sit that vagina straight. Stand them up straight. Anyways, that made me want to have a cigarette. Oh, this is what she says after that.

If you're wondering, did I already go past the video? No. If you're wondering what this abortion primal screen looks like, Libs of TikTok showed us an example. Tell me these people, this doesn't sum them up. This is what you do when you're a little kid and you have no argument against your parents? Seriously. They're admitting they have

no logic. It's all pure emotion. Listen to these whoas. Not one of them. And I've said this, and many people have said it. You love how pro-choice women, so ironic, not one of them is fuckable. You wouldn't want to fuck one of them. You know why they were just screaming?

Some guy whipped his dick out in the park. That, doesn't that sum it up, Dallas? Just shrill. They got nothing. Nancy Pelosi, biggest whore in giant vulva, is encouraging a burst of public sentiment to change the Supreme Court of the United States. Tilt. Take a listen.

I don't know why she's still on TV. They always put that San Francisco picture behind her. I know right where those row of houses are. I had a comedian in front. I stayed there. And look at her. Let's listen to this bag of cheese. Ken, you are completely right.

This cannot wait. That's why right now, instead of people going off on what the Republicans would like us to talk about. Spit it out, you whore. We're talking about your life the white of women in our country the white have a again calibration of all of this in roe v wade and how we must have it be enshrined as the law of the land

you're gonna be dead so that that i'm at by the way the call also got acute she's the dumbest person on television by a country mile. But Pelosi, nobody wants to listen to you. She's a malignant cunt. Oh, is she ever. I can't take it. It's a dangerous situation. My vagina's angry. It is.

It's pissed off. Well, scream. Scream. Absolutely. Scream. Scream. That'll get it done. Absolutely.

Hi, back. Anyhow, that's the same response when Trump got elected. It's what they do. They don't have any logical. I can't believe the party still exists. And it wouldn't if they didn't control the media. They wouldn't even be in the fight. I really believe that. This would be such a nice country. Everybody getting together. Nobody being divided. At least a lot better than it is now.

And you've got to admit, folks, the left is to blame for all this acrimony. They have been forever. They hate this country. They hate you. They think they're better than you. When you argue with your jerk-off liberal friends, that's where the argument starts. They're morally superior to you. They really believe that.

That's why you should use violence against them. I'm kidding. I'm not for that type of stuff. Somebody could lose an eye or a vulva. You know what I'm saying? Alright. Anyways, one guy that we can find,

this is the only guy we can agree with when we do the news for Christ's sake, and if he's not the next president, if it's not Trump, it's this guy. You all know who I'm talking about. That's right, Strom Thurmond. Wait a minute, he be dead. Ron DeSantis versus why do I have DA Jews? What does that mean? Oh, I can't even do my own clever headlines.

I can't, I'm like, DA Jews? Most of them are. DeSantis versus Da Jews, I put. I am a clever prick, am I not? In a Wall Street Journal piece, Elliott Abrams and Eric Cohen, respectively chairman and CEO of TICBA and co-chairman of the Jewish Leadership Conference,

revealed that Manhattan's Museum of Jewish Heritage canceled a planned JLC event because Florida Governor Ron DeSantis was the invited speaker. Once again, huh? More tolerance from the far left. Right's Abram and Cohen. We were working closely with the museum on the details for the June 12th event until, out of the blue, we were told by the museum staff that Mr. DeSantis didn't align with the museum's values and its message of inclusivity. Right.

Because he's all about division and fucking, are they just the most passive aggressive? These are the good guys in the story, by the way. They're the ones who are trying to bring DeSantis. I'm talking about the people that run the museum. Probably somebody in the New York State Senate, or somebody made a call, Hockle. This is what they said when they told, when these guys were going to bring DeSantis,

and they were told by the museum people, either we disinvite the governor, they said, or our event was unwelcome. Can you fucking... Hates Jews. Hates Jews. Yeah, I mean, that's what they're saying, basically. You know what I mean? I don't see the rift.

There's never been any stories about DeSantis being anti-Semitic. And number one, you could never get voted governor of Florida. But Christ's sake, Miami, half of Israel, I mean, New York, moved out. They're all Jewish in Miami and everywhere. The museum gingerly pushed back on its Twitter account. It said this wasn't a free speech or censorship issue, but simply a contractual and logistical decision, which doesn't actually contradict what Abrams and Cohen are alleging. Yes, the museum made the contractual and logistical decision to deny rental space to TIGVA,

an organization that has hosted many events at the museum, because DeSantis was to be the speaker. It's not a free speech or a censorship issue, since that implies government is stopping the speech, which isn't the case here. That is clearly not what's going on here, they say. That's the excuse they use. And that's how it works, by the way, with Biden and the far-left administration. They have the corporations do their dirty work, censor you. They can't do it themselves, so they have Facebook, YouTube, censor guys like me and whoever else. But you're not fooling anybody, okay?

You snotty little bastard. Thinking it's smarter than everyone else, the museum added a carefully worded tweet saying, we welcome Governor DeSantis and elected officials from across the spectrum, not to speak, to visit the Museum of Jewish, it's passive-aggressive, of Jewish heritage, a living memorial to the Holocaust for a tour of our new exhibition, The Holocaust, What Hate Can Do. I think that'll be the name of my next special. That would be a good one, wouldn't it?

What Hate can do. When it opens this summer. Yeah, they're going to come to it. You didn't let them speak there, but yeah, you send them tickets. I'm sure they'll. DeSantis should go and just spray paint anti-Semitic shit all over the museum wall. Just to be a dick. And again, you know, I'm for the Jewish, Museum of Jewish Heritage.

Sounds like a hospital. So it won't block the door if DeSantis buys a ticket for a tour. This guy's almost making kind of a Jewish anti-Semitic remark. So they won't block the door if DeSantis buys a ticket, but no one has welcomed the host governor for an event to speak,

you know, at the museum. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! That was DeSantis. That's kind of funny the way they said that,

oh, if he buys a ticket, maybe I'm reading it today, Abrams and Cohen write that they chose DeSantis. And listen to this. This is two Jewish guys that run, you know, a Jewish organization. They chose DeSantis because a remarkable Jewish renaissance is underway in Florida. It is our family is part of that renaissance. We moved from New York to Florida in January, in large part because of the governor's leadership covid policies were at the forefront of our decision but desantis fighting woke nonsense

in schools and putting parental rights at the top of his agenda have also been positive do you hear that did you hear that he was the best guy around so they're fine with it, but again, the people that run the museum, and they're the ones who preach tolerance to everybody, and that we're the haters. It is priceless how ignorant you people are. Ignorant and ironic. And ironic, exactly. are. Ignorant and ironic.

And ironic, exactly. I was watching King of Queens and Doug used the word ironic and Arthur goes, that story wasn't ironic at all. And then later on in the episode, he apologizes to Doug. He goes, I looked up ironic. I thought it meant something, anything made of iron.

I fucking still love that show. Anyway, that's right. I have a faggy dog and I like King of Queens. You learned a lot. Anyhow, anywho. I love my dog too. I just slap it around. We'll put up another clip where she's chewing my arm off like she thinks she's a pit bull.

And then I drop her with a right hand to her little belly. Oh, God. Anyways, new White House secretary. We got rid of Big Red. Who am I going to whack off to now? Just you wait. Just you. You're going to say it into the mic. You want to be famous too? Dallas goes, just you wait. I know I found this out last night when I was reading this story. New White House secretary hates Jews. That's just me, you know, my opinion. But there is some evidence.

After talking about DeSantis and somehow implying that he's anti-Semitic, listen to this. New White House press secretary, Corinne Jean-Pierre. I hate any broad with three names. There she is, beautiful. Hates Jews. No. Hates Jews. Hey, take it easy, Donnie. Once urged Democrats to skip a meeting of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee,

claiming it was severely racist. This is who their press secretary is. They really are fucking nuts. She's gay, by the way. Openly gay, black woman. Because it doesn't matter, qualifications. It's about appearance with the Democrats. Doesn't matter if she's fit for the job.

She's got to check two boxes. Like, she's got to hate white people. And she's got to hate straight people. That's perfect. Female on top of it, black gay, ding, dong, ding. The bipartisan gathering has long been an uncontroversial part of American public life, but in recent years has become more divisive as Democrats have drifted away from America's closest ally in the region, that would be Israel, over the unresolved Israeli-Palestinian conflict. When it comes down to it, AIPACs, A-I-P-A-C-S, policies are not progressive policies. Their values are not progressive values, Jean-Pierre wrote in a Newsweek op-ed in 2019.

It's time to call a spade a spade. Watch your mouth. She's got a wife beater on and a stupid fucking mop on her head. Anyways, she went on to say this. What folks says about this family, I does. I has told you and told you that you can always tell a lady

but the way that she eat in front of folks like a bird. And I ain't aiming for you to go to Mr. John Wilkinson and eat like a field hand and gobble like a hog. Well, she's very eloquent. Look at her. She looks cute and innocent there. She actually looked like she'd be fun to hang out with.

But an inch beneath her faceplate, she'd be hating you. Makes her more dangerous. There you go. Dallas knows. Come on, he's born in Alabama, grew up in Texas. Knows what I'm talking about. He knows what time it is. In the piece, she blasted the conference

as severely racist, saying it has become known for trafficking and anti-Muslim and anti-Arab rhetoric. What that means is the administration just doesn't agree with,

you know, their views are different about the Middle East. So right with, you know, their views are different about the Middle East. So right away, they know how to do this. They label you, and it sticks for some reason. Anti-Muslim, anti-Arab rhetoric. While lifting up, of course, nobody would go, can you give us examples of that? Again, this quote's from a while ago.

While lifting up Islamophobic voices and attitudes. Shut your hole. Durka, Durka, Muhammad Jihad. Haka Sherpa Sherpa. I already miss Big Red. She's working at MSNBC now, so you can see they only hire people who are fucking neutral in their politics,

right down the middle. That and who have the face of a fucking... Hey, speaking of horses, that's where I was going with that. How about that Kentucky... Did you hear about the Kentucky Derby, Dallas? I'm not a big... Dude, he gets thrown into the race like a few days before because some horse had a dropout.

80 to 1. This motherfucker. I watched. I watched it on YouTube like three times. I couldn't believe it. There's 21 horses. You know, he starts on the outside. And then there's a view.

Watch it on YouTube. A camera looking down so you can follow him the whole race. He's weaving in and out of traffic like he's a drunk guy on the LA. Unbelievable. He's going in and out of traffic like he's a drunk guy in the LA. Unbelievable. He's going in and out. And wins the goddamn game. It's so funny because the guy calling the race wasn't even paying attention to him. There were like two or three horses neck and neck.

Meanwhile, here comes right up. He's coming up the fucking rail. And this guy's still talking about these two horses. They're neck and neck. Then he goes, oh, my God. It was really. Again, I don't know much about horses, but 80 to 1. Somebody, I want to read who, somebody had to score big. Anyways, why did I talk about, oh, she looked like a horse.

No, anyways, you cannot call yourself a progressive, she said, while continuing to associate yourself with an organization like AIPAC. That's A-I-P-A-C, whatever, anti-Israeli, I have no idea. That has often been the antithesis of what it means to be progressive. She added, while also taking a shot at Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. Already, I miss Dummy. Who gives a fuck what you think? Can you imagine that's who they picked? They haven't picked a qualified anybody

who isn't anti-white, anti-male. They're just proud of it. I'm sure she's a nice lady if I met her. Bullshit. I'd get her on a chokehold. Fucking drop an elbow from the top rope right on her fucking nappy head. What? You can't.

Well, I did. I stole that from Don Imus. She wrote the Newsweek piece while serving as a senior advisor, and guess what guess what folks a national spokesperson to move on can't find the left or fucking a democratic advocacy group that's saying it lightly jean-pierre has also worked as a lecturer oh at columbia she's checking all the boxes columbia university school International Public Affairs, which they, you know, known as I Hate America and Anybody White.

Since 2014, that's where she was honing her fangs. You need to shut the fuck up. She is a veteran. Oh, it gets better. A veteran of President Obama's 2008 and 2012 presidential campaigns. 2008 and 2012 presidential campaigns. During the Trump year, she frequently appeared on NBC and MSNBC as a political commentator, saying a lot of shit like this. Kill the white people!

Jean-Pierre's article. Sounds like one of the players on Calgary go by number 21 Jean-Pierre article Jean-Pierre's article dovetails with a democratic drift away from Israel

led by the squad and the other left wing lawmakers in Congress that would be Durka Durka that would be you know who folks you know who the squad is AOC and the other left-wing lawmakers in Congress. That would be Durka Durka. That would be, you know who, folks. You know who the squad is.

AOC and the fucking Ilhan Omar and Tlaib and the other ISIS whores. In 2007, both Hillary Clinton with her thick-ankled dog face and Barack Obama, born nobody knows where, attended the AIPAC conference. In March, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio- I'm a dirty whore, seen here with the winner of the Kentucky Derby. Holy shit. Her teeth are bigger. He's got a lot of gums. Somebody throw both of them a sugar cube. In March, Rep. Alex Ocasio-Cortez wasted nice tits, blasted the

APA for donating to Republican elected officials. Oh, did she? She said it's more okay to dismantle U.S. democracy than it is to question if United States tax dollars should fund detention and abuse of Palestinian kids. But she really couldn't back any of that up because she's a lying whore and her reign will be over once the midterms come. God, I hope. Huh? She'll still be around. I only hope.

Yeah. Jean-Pierre, who has faced conflict of interest concerns over her relationship, oh, my God, with CNN reporter Suzanne Malveaux, was tapped this week as the White House press secretary. You got it. Look at that. I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face.

I don't like your jerk-off behavior. And I don't like you, jerk-off. Do you hear me, Ms. Pia? So I'm guessing that's Malvo. They work out together and they go home. I'm all sweaty. Let me get a work out together and they go home. I'll be all sweaty. Let me get a piece. Let me taste a little.

Let me get a rim shot. Look at these two. Look at, yay! We don't like, I take it personal. Lesbians don't like men. All right, I understand if your uncle didbians don't like men. All right. I understand if your uncle did something to you or whatever

when you were a kid, maybe I'll cut you some slack, but if you just don't like us because you don't like us, fuck you. That's what I like to do. I like to fuck you. I like the guys that go,

oh, I could change your mind. Some cocky guy. Anyways, this lady here, she's the first black woman and the first openly gay person to step into the top communications job you know why because they stink at it so she's not replacing until the 13th i guess sacky's reportedly in talks to join msnbc but you know they don't think she's left wing enough at least she likes fellas we have to look at this lady.

I'm gay. I'm really gay. I'm super duper gay. I bench for a hundred pounds. I'm gayer than I say. Gay. I'm really gay. I'm... And folks, you know here at the NICTA, we like all kinds.

I'm just saying. That's not a good job for somebody who's the spokesman for the President of the United States, who's supposed to represent all people and not call half the people MAGA terrorists and all that other horse shit. The fact that this guy hasn't been impeached or the 25th Amendment hasn't been invoked is beyond me. It shows you there's a bigger game at hand that has nothing to do with any of this. Am I right, Elon Musk? Help me out. Show me where these important people are. Anyways, you know, I mentioned the squad. We all know they're, so let's talk about their homeland and the roots that they came from.

What's the headline? Veil the threat. That's right. The Islamic regime of the Taliban has ruled that Afghan women will have to cover their faces in public. And a decree passed Saturday. This goes on every, how many times have you been through this cycle? Then somebody else takes over. Now you can show your forehead a little bit.

Then these guys come back. How many times have you been through this cycle? Then somebody else takes over. Now you can show your forehead a little bit. Then these guys come back. According to the decree from Taliban Supreme Leader, Habatullah Atunzad, I don't know why I said the fucking first name like I was Italian. Habatullah.

Have you tried the Habatullah? Look at this guy. He looks like my agent at William Morris. That's a bad joke. Habitual Akunzad. Reuters, it's cut off. That the ideal face covering is the all-encompassing burqa. If we could only tell the girls at The View that.

Am I right? Who's with me? Look at these fucking... Look at... A couple of ballpoint pens. I don't know. He's looking at you, kid. Can you imagine? It's 112 degrees over there. Look at beekeepers out. Just horrendous. It's a beautiful blue, though. It's a nice royal blue. It's terrific. Can you imagine living like this? These people are still in the Bible, 11 AD. If a woman does not comply with a new rule, her father or her closest male relative will be visited. Just the way John God even said, we're going to visit him. Will be visited and eventually

imprisoned or fired from government job. Yeah, right. How about having their toes removed? A spokesman from the Ministry of the Propagation of Virtue. Don't be, you don't think Biden would want one of these in a second? Telling us on the right how to act? Propagation of virtue and the prevention of vice. Yeah, because look into a woman's eyes or ankles. That's of vice. Yeah, because look into the woman's eyes or ankles. That's a vice. You people are fucking...

In a press conference per... And remember, folks, the left always told us the definition of multiculturalism, that means no culture is superior to another one. Just let that sink in. Something else they've been wrong on their whole lives. Oh, cut it out. Have you ever seen a picture from over there

where somebody doesn't have a fucking rifle in there? Here's a christening. The baby's on the end of a bayonet. Christening, they're Muslim. Most women in Afghanistan already choose to wear a headscarf, but often do not cover their faces in urban areas like Kabul, Afghanistan's capital. Since taking control of Afghanistan in August of last year,

the Taliban have introduced draconian laws imposing restrictions on women's freedom. In March, the theocratic group closed girls' high schools and recently introduced rules limiting women's ability to travel without a male chaperone. The strict new directives are reminiscent of their Muslim fundamentalist hardline rule in the 1990s in spite of their claims to have reformed and become more moderate which we all laugh at anyways well no they are more moderate they're just not cutting off toes and fingers yet so they oh they are yeah they won't tell us that i believe if you show your face they'll cut your nose up let me tell you if the squad could wear that shit in Congress, they would. UN human rights experts warned in January that the Taliban leaders are,

by the way, that is the contradiction. I just made a joke, but it really makes sense because the squad, right, the squad, you don't hear them squealing that this is, you know, sexist and misogynist, right? It's only when guys over here whistle at a woman. What's that? Or Israel. Exactly. Expect one in January that the Taliban leaders are institutionalizing large-scale and systematic gender-based discrimination and violence against women and girls. I don't hear much coming out of the left about that. The experts criticize what they describe as the Taliban's attempt to steadily erase women and girls from public life. Bye-bye.

Which is what the NFL is doing, just the opposite. In response to the takeover of Afghanistan, the United States and other countries have cut development aid, frozen the Afghan government's reserves. So what, did we cut off the supply of fucking hummus to our country? Held in United States bank accounts and imposed strict sanctions on the group.

Oh yeah, I'm sure they're devastated. Anyways, that's it for a Monday. Great to be back. Again, thank you. Everybody came out this past weekend. I actually had fun. Other than rental cars at Kennedy Airport, everything that needs to be douched. It was a great weekend.

Don't forget to sign up at thecomicsgym.com, please, if you haven't. When I asked who watched the show in Governor's Place, it was roaring. We're not getting the true numbers, folks. It shows, you know, they're not going to tell us. Until you turn it on and I'm not here anymore, that's when we know we made it. Don't forget to sign up to comicsgym.com on a monthly basis.

Don't forget to sign up to comicsgym.com on a monthly basis. And at patreon.com, go to nickdip.com for merchandise. And cameo.com. I did three of them last night before I went to bed. Three cameos where, you know, I give you, I don't want to say roast because that's too entailed. But you tell me a little about the person. I make a video on my phone. We give them a little zing-zanger. Hopefully they're fans of mine.

Anyways, that's it. You guys think it, I'll say it. You're very welcome. See you back here at the same time tomorrow. Have a good day. I'm a man, I'm a man guitar solo Outro Music