The Nick DiPaolo Show - San Diego Mosque Shooter A Tranny? | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1897

Episode Date: May 19, 2026

In today's episode Nick talks about The Mosque Shooting, Government Pork, Mark Fuhrman Dead, Underwear Coke Smuggling, Karen Bass & Homeless Teeth, VA School Admin Charged, A Shit Truck and White Replacement! The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow GET TOUR DATES & TICKETS - https://www.nickdip.com/tour NOVEMBER 5TH - The Punchline: ATLANTA, GA NOVEMBER 6TH - Rivers Casino: PHILADELPHIA, PA NOVEMBER 7TH - Soul Joel's: POTTSTOWN, PA MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

I don't like your jerk off name. I don't like you jerk off face. I don't like your jerk off behavior. And I don't like you, jerk off. Well, excuse me, cocksucker. Hi, folks. How you is? And what a word.

Good to be with you. I'm your host, Karen Magoo. Cocainea. I'm free from my... I did to me. Look, I did it to my fucking aunts. Look like a junkie. The fucking they took the thing out yesterday.

They're pulling it? Ten minutes. You should get a tattoo right there of chattering teeth. I want to get a tattoo of a woman's tit, so when it's my arm starts sagging, it goes with it. You know what I'm saying? Sure you does. That's a keeper. I think we'll look.

This week I'm a little, you're going to have to grab, I'm a little out of sorts, you know. Welcome to the live lineup. I'm supposed to say that, but first I'm supposed to turn this on. Wow. I thought I slept well last night, you know, relatively speaking. Yeah, you can get free shows all day, and if you want to watch those shows ad free, you join up at the Rumble Premium. Don't forget to follow my channel and download the Rumble app. Today I'm going to be talking about all kinds of poop, the Moss shooting, of course.

Government pork, I forget what that's about. What is it? The immigrants. The Pakistani immigrants. A very good cop died, in my opinion. And you're like, oh, what are you talking about? Mark Furman of OJ fame. We have a Polish truck driver who got caught with about 8 million pounds of Coke,

and they were in a load of Kim Kardashian skims. Now I know what happened to mine. I've been waiting for like three weeks. I got the red ones with a hole in the ass. I don't even know what they are. and we got a great clip of Karen Bass, the fucking, what is she? The governor? I mean, the mayor?

The governor, that's Newsom. The mayor of L.A. showing you just how retarded. She's almost likable. She's so fucking retarded. It is insane. That's about it. Good stuff, I'll tell you. I don't know if you guys watched any hockey last night.

I'm trying to recruit you guys. I'm sitting there at one of the. I don't watch sports in real time. You know that. So I watch the socks beat the fucking. They were all of a sudden they start to look like a baseball team. They beat the Royals last night. And, you know, so I get done with that.

That's after I get done with the homework here. I read, do this shit. Then I, you know, around 8 o'clock, I put on the hockey game. But then by the time, I mean, the baseball, by the time I get to the hockey game, it's fucking. But it's the beauty of watching it not in real time. You rip through the commercials. Every time there's a whistle, I hit the skip button.

And you can watch a hockey game in about an hour and 10 minutes. It's fucking tremendous. Anyways, Buffalo and Montreal, two NHL teams. Buffalo hasn't literally hasn't been in the playoffs in 14 years. Do you know how hard that is to do in the NHL? I like fucking 30 out of fucking 31 teams making for Christ's sake. I mean, you're really going to suck. They haven't been there in 14 years.

And this year, the first three games they lost, they're like, oh, here we go. Another laughing stock. Excuse me. And then by December, to the end of the fucking league, the end of the, whatever, the season, December, January, four months, they're the best record in hockey. And this was to see who goes to the, it would be the equivalent baseball, the ALCS, the, you know, the pennant. Anyways, and Montreal hasn't been very good forever, the Canadians. But they both have great years this year.

And game seven, first of all, there's nothing like a game seven NHL game. Anybody will tell you that, retarded kids, young black fellas. It's unbelievable. Even better, it goes into overtime. There's nothing, no sport on earth better than NHL hockey in an overtime game seven. Every shot, you're hanging on every friggin. It's insane. the Hinton was vicious

and I'm just sitting there I feel like I'm watching it alone I know my brother loves it too you know it's like I don't know maybe it's because I'm down south but obviously people love it all over the country because they have

teams now everywhere and they Carolina is a rabid hockey town and again a lot of that is northeastern people migrating but a lot of it isn't you know when me and Andy went to the mud sharks

whatever they call, the ghost pirates, which is it. You know what a much shock is? That's a white girl who fucks black guys. That's the phrase that the hateful people use. Not me. I don't. I agree with that. I think it is wholesome. Anyways. But there was a, when we went to the game in January for my birthday, there was like four young Latino kids behind me, you know, and they were trying to understand the game and shit, you know. So I just leaned back.

I started explaining it to him. And the kid's like, I want to see more fighting. I want to see when they start kicking the shit out of each. So at the end of the game, I go, look at this. I showed him a clip from the Bruins of Canadians' 1977. Literally in the crowd, a cop is in the middle of it trying to break up a hockey team. The kid was laughing his balls off. Anyways, they loved it.

It's just a great fucking game. I should be the goddamn, you know what, Commissioner. I'm telling you, Gary Bettenham. men, you're the other commissioner. You've got to get the soccer people. Okay? Not just the ones like overseas. There's a, soccer's way too popular already in this country for me. But I'm just saying if you fucking get them to watch five minutes of hockey, you're going to convert them.

It's the same game only compacted with hitting and fighting and white fellas. I'm telling you. And a few black. And of course, there's a handful of black guys. league and they're all good. They're all fucking good. They can all fight. Every one. Everyone is like

and they're not goons. They're good hockey play. They're just great athletes. I would actually get a, just didn't get famous. They'd make a movie, you know, like the fucking Titan, whatever that'd come back. Remember the jerk off. I want to do one

of me coaching an all-black hockey team. I think I just came on something. I mean, that's sounded gross I just Yeah That came out wrong I'll clean it later

Yeah you got the Got that spot remove Anyhow I don't know what I'm babbling about But yeah How about how about a Hey wait a minute Watch this

Not to my fans Have connections in Hollywood But how about a show About the first All Black hockey team I mean modern days Not fucking you know Not like the Negro leagues

Or whatever I'm talking heavy. Modern day all black hockey team in the NH. Well, you know, a league like the NHL. That would be a good show. Cool skating. You know what he's talking about? Because of the bobsled was cool runnings.

Is that what it's called? Stupid name, huh? I would have called it cool felonies. You heard me. What are you saying, Nick? Oh, I'm joking around. Yes. Cool.

What did you say? Cool. What? Cool skating. I'd call it black guys with sticks. I'd get them to tune in. Wouldn't that be great, though? I have to shut off my notifications because the rest of my family likes to chat.

And I'll go and there'll be a thread and it'll be literally, I'd say, I don't know, a mile long. And I just, after paragraph 11, I go, I'm sorry, I know Mars get cancer, but I'm going. I'm tired. All right, let's get to it. Fuck it. Kepaena. First story of the day, Mosque Mayhem.

I know you all heard about it. I had to update the story today. The concerned mom, as you know, two kids, young kids shot up a mosque in San Diego. Very interesting twist of this. It hasn't come out yet. So I will be, as usual,

the first to point out what should be obvious to you, people by now by looking at the motherfucker. My sister don't shut up. By looking at the shooter and his buddy. But this was in San Diego and two or three people killed. And, you know, which is fucking horrible. But the concern mom of one of the teen San Diego Moss shooters had frantically alerted cops

that her suicidal son had run away in camo. That's not a good sign ever. unless it's Larry the cable guy and he's chasing a fucking skeeter a runaway wearing camo and with some of her weapons sparking a huge hunt in the hours

before the bloodshed unfolded police spent two hours scrambling to locate the suspects since identified as 17 year old Kane Clark and 18 year old Caleb Velazquez

Kane Clark, now here it is. You guys look at it. Took me about one millisecond. One nanosecond, I should say. That is a girl's face. It's probably a boy, but it's got enough estrogen to be a tran, tranny. And my relatives, I'm going to get mad. You're going to tell me that that thing wasn't on its way or is sexually confused.

And that might be the gay boyfriend, although he looks like he. he could get a lot of snatch, but that proves my point. He's with this thing. She looks like Alicia Keys in junior high school. Am I right? It wasn't in any of the article so far. It could be unfolding as we speak here at 6 o'clock, whatever it is. But as when I was doing this story, there was no mention.

And to me, it jumps out at you. So I'm going to make that prediction. Anyways. So they were looking for him off the, back of the mother's alert before the gunshots rang out is the at the Islamic center of San Diego on Monday and here's a new rule no mosque in United States how about that no more mosque then they're gonna go but you then you have to get rid of the fucking you know what's what are the Jews temples synagogues temples tent

fucking refrigerator boxes they're gonna go you're gonna have to get well they're not shooting people they're not fucking they didn't blow up well maybe they did you know what you might have to get rid of them Let me rephrase that. Anyways, the mother had won cops that weapons were missing from the home, and her car was gone after her son vanished. San Diego Police Chief Scott Walsh said, but look at the face on that kid.

What do you think? Your son looks like a fagic to me. That isn't it look like a girl? I even looked at the hands. It looked kind of girlyish. But he was a wrestler, apparently. One of them is her. And the other kid looked like he's had the letter jagger.

So I'm saying that's his girlfriend. And of course, let's see how long it takes. Like I said, maybe as we're doing this show, it's already come out. Any Islamic writings were found in the suspect's vehicle and hate speech was written on the firearms used in the shooting. Not hate speech like fucking, you know, Islamic cock suck. No, the words hate speech were written on the thing. So I got a theory about that. if you're a tranny

and again this is all speculation on my part if he's a tranny he hates what this society fucking paternal white male blah blah blah the people who

they always accuse of hate speech and and hate crimes and whatever the fuck and they put SS they had SS on the gas tank they had a Jerry jug with SS on it like Secret Service and

to make it look like they were probably white. That's how you get back at the white people that you hate, right? Make it look like the white nationalist did it. The people who would beat up this kid or whatever. That's my theory. And yeah, they work at that level, even deeper than that. It's a sexual confusion. And boy, I'm on the phone, and I am.

I got a problem with my phone. Andy's right. I got to fucking not put that in my room. I'm fucking 3.30 last night. I'm watching, again, people have a phone. fight in the cafe in Brazil. How do you not watch two guys square off with pipes?

It's, it's, and then I go to the next one, it's even, it's like, oh my God, it's like you're going around the world. It's bad. It really is. I forget my point. I was up so late. Anyways, it says it wasn't immediately clear which of the teens' moms first alerted the cops. Clark had attended Madison High School and was a standout wrestler.

That's him, Clark. As the search intensified cops used automated license plate readers to track the car and went to a mall in the area. They also alerted a school where at least one of the teens had been a student and continued interviewing the mother, Wall said. When reports of the shooting came in roughly two hours later, cops responded within four minutes of being called. That's a little confusing to me that sentence. The teens had already gunned down three men, including a hero security guard, excuse me, and father of eight, Amman Abdullah, which again, feeds into my theory. Well, if we kill one of the guys, then he'll definitely think they're hateful white.

He was a security guard, so he was going to get it anyways, probably of whatever color. The suspects were filed in a vehicle after killing themselves a few blocks from the scene in one of the mother's white BMWs. How did they do that? One, two, three. How do you do that? Anyways, we saved a couple of bullets. But my big point, my big takeaway, and I, you know, when I first heard the story shooting at a mosque, I got to be honest, I'm just going to be honest because I'm always

honest. It's what's ruined my career. I was like, yeah. Oh, boy. So what? Oops. It happens the other way around sometimes. There's a big one coming for us, by the way.

You won't even remember this story. don't forget there's still hundreds of unaccounted for terrorists who came over the border thanks to fuck face um so that's coming and it will be i'm guessing as bad as a 9-11 or something like that just just you don't have to be a genius to say that i i just lay in bed at night sometimes i remember who was the guy that was the head of dhs that said that kept them up at night oh the head of the FBI. That was the one thing that kept them up in that, a 12 year old girl. I, uh, what? What? Who? Hey, November 5th, which right now, remember me saying this, is a long time away. Yeah, I know. I'll be at the punchline in Atlanta. I'm looking forward to it because it'll be like

almost one year to the day, which is the first time I've taken a year off in 38 years. And I don't know what to expect for myself. Don't get me wrong. I'm going to listen to my last shows, which would be probably two years prior, try to refresh my memory. But let me tell you some, nothing's funny than me with a bad memory going halfway into a joke and asking you to finish it. November 6, I'll be at the Rivers Casino in Philadelphia, Rivers Casino.

November 7th sold Joel's Potsdown, PA. Go to Nick Dip.com and get tickets before they are sold out. When you're there, go to our merchandise page, also at Nick Dip.com. to support the show. We get hats, hoodies, t-shirts, wear it, piss off the right people. Also on a send a personalized video to somebody, and I'll say what you're thinking

so you don't have to. Book it at shoutout.us. Reminds me, got one waiting for me. God damn it. That's what I do. I look at it. Yesterday I'm in the car. I got to do this right now,

and then, you know, I go in the fucking drugstore. I go to my tap class. All right. My neck. All right, let's move on. Government pork. An air charter company, whatever that is, was moved to change its in-flight catering after a, get this.

This is kind of related to it. After a deportation flight, taking 24 men to Pakistan served, get this now, in quotes, inappropriate traditional breakfast of sausages. My God, they look delicious. Who doesn't want one of those in their mouth? What? Don Lemon does. A September 2025 deportation flight that carried 24 men home from the Republic of Ireland. Is that what we call it?

To their native Pakistan. So this is coming out of Ireland. At a cost of $550,000 to the taxpayers was written up by a human rights observer. They should be, ironically, they should be killed for us. Because the detainees were given a traditional full Irish breakfast. Do you see This is just the little microcosm of the West and how they've been dominated

by Islam and all the other shit over the years and you're watching it unfold in real time Oh my God, we gave the fucking Muslims pork sausage. That's what the human rights observer Guaranteed it's abroad who just graduated from University of Maryland with a PhD in fagotry. National newspaper, the Irish Times states it has now forced to release

of internal government documents on the flights, which they say show the shortcomings of the service provided by the state and its private partners. Also, one guy's seat didn't go all the way back. He was furious. Yeah, and couldn't get a clean pillow. You know, he said he had better service on spirit airlines, where he belongs with the rest of the MOOCs.

According to the report, deportees are accompanied by both police officers to guard them for the duration of the flight. So these are hardened criminals. This is what they're trying to tell you, terrorists, and a human rights monitor who writes a report on any abuses they witnessed during the deportation. Where are those human rights fucks? I don't know, when somebody gets stabbed to death on a train in Carolina

or on a bus in New York City. Where's the human rights people taking note to what's going on there? or being a white guy walking through Atlanta at 3 in the morning, downtown. As for the September pork sausage breakfast flight, that's how they were. The report stated three of the 24 deported men had been held in prison before their deportation on the grounds of being high risks. And once in the air, the quality of the food provided was of a lower standard than the expected and that the serving of pork sausage as part of a full Irish breakfast was inappropriate.

Oh, boy you. Stick your appropriate up your ass. Go back to your third world shithole. Fuck your 12-year-old daughter or whatever you do. Fucking eat camel shit. It's that simple. Fucking tired. Stay in your own part of the fucking world.

And we will. How about that? What's wrong with ice? isolationism. And why didn't we do it right after World War I? Huh? Or World War II when we became the fucking superpower that we are? Why don't we just give the rest of the world fucking finger? As the Irish Times notes in their report, Pakistan has a majority of Muslim population. And halal, have you had the halal? Food was expected on board. Oh, was it? The report states

The company changed their on board Catering after this incident. Well, there you go. Capitulation. You think that would happen if they were flying to dangerous Americans out of Pakistan? You were told you're going to get a cheeseburger and you got goat ball pie?

I think they're going to make the adjustment for you. Go fuck your sister-in-law. Jesus Christ. I'm sick of the world. While a meal prepared, according to the cultural... I got to be honest, when I was in the hospital not feeling good.

a little bit of me. He's like, go ahead, fuck it. I don't care. I'll go now. Just a tiny bit. Don't tell anybody. Andy doesn't watch the show, does she? While a meal prepared according to the cultural norms of the originating country of the flight may seem trivial, listen to this paragraph. Getting the right food can prove crucial in some migration context. In 2020, listen to this, folks, a Sudanese origin migrant at a government-funded asylum seeker accommodation hotel in Glasgow, Scotland went on a stabbing spree. Why is that? Because somebody teasing him about his...

No, allegedly over the lack of culturally appropriate meals for which left him very hungry. So that paragraph I just read to, whoever's writing it, saying it's important that we get this right. Not saying, fuck them. They deserve nothing. Who the fuck are they to demand anything? They're criminals.

That's not the take from whoever wrote this. It's important to get it right. They might kill people. Which I'm going to be honest. One time I got an undercooked steak that charged me 50 bucks for, I went in the kitchen. I had a spoon. I wasn't going to hurt him.

I heated it up over the candle on the table. I was going to burn somebody. Here's a video of something. I can't even remember. Yo, you're trying to go on party? Shit, I'm down. Yo, you're trying to drink some alcohol? Shit, I'm down.

Yo, you're trying to eat some of this pork? Yo. What the fuck? Ah, mama me. Six people were stabbed in Scotland. That incident I was telling you about. And the knifeman was shot dead by police. See, that's how you take care of the problem.

I'm tired. I'm tired. Let's move on to some guy that wouldn't put up with a Muslim horseshit. The title of the story is good cop, dead cop. Discraced, and I disagree with that characterization of him. Former LAPD detective Mark Ford. Furman, who rose to infamy for derailing the O.J. Simpson murder prosecution after it was revealed he had used the N-word, has died at the age of 74. There are white niggers. I've seen a lot of

white niggers in my time. I'm going to use that word. That's enough. That's surprising. Although cops go early, most, a lot of them. A lot of them are. usually become alcoholics or depression. You know how many cops killed themselves? My buddy, Greg, when I knew him as a cop, it was like every other year he'd tell me about a friend there is. It's a brutal job, man.

Military and cops, both have high rates. Yes, Eagle Scouts. I just took the wind out of that argument. A close friend told TMZ, which first reported the news, that Furman died of an aggressive form of cancer. Well, of course. He's not going to let some pussy cancer beat him.

What did I do? Why did I fucking do? Anyways. It's my tribute to him. Furman found the infamous bloody glove purportedly linking Simpson to the gruesome 1994 killings of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman outside her L.A. home. His testimony was to be keyed to the prosecution's case

against the once beloved athlete until the defense produced, just listen to this. It just shows you. Until the defense produced a tape in which Furman used the racial slur after he testified on oath that he didn't do so. That's all you need to know about our legal system. They got the glove, they fucking know it's OJ, but a white cop said nigger.

So we can't prosecute it. Let that fucking sink in. How do we get there? Please, I'm not going to say my theory. Did we show it a video? I play the song. And you say on your oath that you have not addressed any black person as a nigger or spoken about black people as niggers in the past 10 years, Detective Furman.

That's what I'm saying, sir. So that anyone who comes to this court and quotes you as using that word in dealing with African Americans would be a liar. Would they not, Detective Fis? Yes, they would. All of them, correct? All of them. Can you imagine that's where we got as far as wokeness?

That's how deep it cuts. Can you imagine this guy made his living protecting black people from other black people? He made this point. By the way, he fixed his image like within a year by going on Oprah, all these shows, answering all the questions. And I remember he was on Oprah. And Oprah was like, I gave Oprah credit. because she was following how he was sort of besmirched.

And he said he made this point in Oprah in front of a lot of black people. I spent my life, most of my adult life, in your neighborhood, protecting you from other black people, risking my life. But that's all thrown away if you say nigger. Just think about what we've done with that word. Well, you got this guy, Chud, the builder. I know you guys must be following him. Have you, Dallas, have you seen this guy?

The fucking young white guy. He's got the kind of almost the handlebar mustache. He's like a good looking guy. Long hair, he's wearing a fucking cowboy hat. And he's always in a tank top. He's like a big fought from Tennessee. And he goes around taunting. He'll go right into a black neighborhood or a park

and just start dropping end bombs right to them. And, of course, they threaten his life and all this shit. And I'm going, I wonder what triggered all this. You know, you don't just decide to do that. And sure enough, if you read his backstory, he had a legitimate job. And he said the N-word. I don't know if it was at fucking at work or, you know, on the grounds of work. Anyways, it got him fired, you know, destroyed his life.

And he was being harassed at home and shit. He started his own business, ran that for two years, but the whole time was being harassed and his life was being threatened. And it's just totally fucked up his life. So he must have snapped in bed one night and said, I'm going to fuck. And he goes around and just, and of course people are too stupid. Too stupid to, and yeah, I am defending that because he's defending the First Amendment. Is there other ways to go about it?

Not more clear than that. Not more clear than that. Not saying you should do it. Anyways, last week or a couple weeks ago, black guy. try to shoot him or whatever the fuck. I didn't even get the full story, but he defended himself and he shot somebody, didn't kill him, shot somebody

in the leg or whatever the fuck. And I talked about this yesterday, about the bond, $2.5 million bond. Meanwhile, there's people who murder people, if I can get $200,000 bond, black people. They do half their time or whatever the fuck. And that's scary when the judiciary

is coming down on white people. Well, who's the judiciary made up? a bunch of liberal fucking jerkoffs who went to Ivy League schools and who really believed that white people deserve backlash for what happened 400 years ago. What about a fuck? It's insane. It's insane to me.

So, yeah, I hope he gets out. But that's scary, the judiciary. And then the left will say Trump's going after his political. He's going after people who went after him. Oh my God. Illegally. Illegally. He's like, he goes up to black guys.

Yeah. Pick up my hat, nigger. Look at, yeah, go ahead. Chimp out, man. And he looks like a crazy fuck. They don't want it. He's fucking, um, but I'm just saying.

His whole thing is about, and you could tell he's even, there's a few black people that come up to him and like want to be on thing. You know what I mean? It's fucking weird. And I saw a guy today, a black guy in a car. kind of older guy going, you know who I love that motherfucking Tennessee guy?

His take was, he goes, he's right. Black people, if black people say to black people, you nigger, what are you looking at, nigga, they'll fucking kill each other. He's there, but they won't do it when a white guy, which I don't know how true that is. There's some white people have gotten fucking beaten within an inch of their life. But a lot, that was his point. And he was disagreeing with the point the guy's making. it's a word or whatever the fuck.

It's just amazing to me. It just shows you the power of the media and the left and what they did to that word and how much meaning they gave it that people really think there should be two sets of rules when it comes to the... Anyways, with his credibility on the stand, back to Furman.

Simpson's defense team suggested Furman planted evidence, of course, excuse me, in the case, which he denied in court and then later in a 1996 interview with ABC. He retired two months before Simpson's shocking acquittal in October of 95 and the following year pleaded no contest to a felony count of perjury for lying on the stand during his testimony. His conviction gave him the anonymous distinction of being the only person convicted of a crime as a result of the trial.

Nobody else was convicted of a crime in the OJJ. murder thing. Does that show you? How, you know, and boy, did they, the LAPD, boy, did they fuck up that murder scene. If you ever watched, they trampling through eating a sandwich, stepping in the blood in the kitchen, dropping pepperoni everywhere. After his LAPD career Furman pivoted to working as a TV and radio commentator, very successfully, by the way, and authored several books, including murder and Brentwood about the Simpson trial. 2023, he was barred from ever returning to law enforcement under a new California. Here's some West Coast retarded.

A new California police measure. De-certifying officers who have exhibited biased or criminal conduct. The guy made his living again every night risking his own life in black neighborhoods, but he said a word, so let's throw that out the window. I want you to let that soak in. Because that that fucking logic still exists today. More than ever. These judges are more left-wing than ever.

fucking activist. The reform was enacted following the 2020 killing of George Floyd, which, again, why don't you watch a documentary on that? Derek Chauvin, he got railroaded. Anyway, let's lighten it up. I see London, I see France.

I see an eight ball in your pants. What? This is a good one. A Polish guy driving a truck walks into a bar. Two Jews and a duck. Did you know Dallas is the new Afflecker? I think of this joke. It's an old one. Oh, I got a lot from doing.

Save it for later. It's about an 11-word street joke, and I can't remember. Wow. A Polish truck driver was sent to the slammer for smuggling over $8 million worth of cocaine, Yale, and a shipment of underwear and clothing from Kim Kardashian's Skims brand. Well, I'm going to buy some of them. You know, Sanct there? $8 million.

I didn't know that many people still doing Coke. There's one guy still doing it. Check it out. It's like a vacuum commercial. A Tyson. Holy shit. What's the world coming to?

What's the world coming to? Jacob Jan Conkel. 40 years old. He looks like the Polish Shane Gillis was sentenced to 13 years and six months in prison on Monday for stashing a slew of drugs inside his truck carrying 28 pallets of skims

clothing from the Netherlands. Conchle from Northern Poland was stopped by Board of Force officers at the Port of Harwich in Essex, England. Very strict over there. As he arrived on a ferry with his truck full of celebrity shapewear last September,

the agency said, so you're going to see a lot of fat broads in Hollywood movies. After X-raying his vehicle, investigators discovered the truck drive had stopped on the journey to pick up 90 packages of cocaine totaling 198 pounds. I like the Coke

a little bit in the 80s. I'm going to be honest with you. Dallas, you were a kid. I was in my 20s and the fucking everybody was doing it. Brains loved it if you had it. They get horny. Then you'd get fucking some type of whiskey

dick, a Coke dick. Didn't always help. But you'd lie. You'd go. We get coke back at her apartment. And like I said, They get back there, open the door, thinking there's going to be a party, and it's like Joe Pesci. Thinking he's going to be made. He then snucked the wrapped bundles into a specially adapted compartment in the truck's back doors.

She always liked it back doors. The straight value of the cocaine, Yale, was estimated to be roughly 8.4 mil. That's a lot of fucking shit. You got good stuff here. Class A shit. the skim shipment was legitimate and neither the exporter they have to make that clear nor the importer of the clothing was connected with a smuggling operation official said conchle initially denied knowing anything about the stash of coke but then they caught him on surveillance camera sniffing the skims he thought they were used

i'm sorry that was me but eventually confessed to agreeing to smuggling the drugs for 4,500 euros that's roughly around 5,200 76 bucks. I did the math last night on my Euro calculator. That's a lot of cocaine in skims. I don't know what to tell you. My favorite Coke story, and I've already told this on the show, but I did a place in New Haven, Connecticut club called

Wise Guys. No, Joker's, I'm sorry. No, it was run by White. That was my point. It was called Jokers, or Joker's Wild. Jokers Wild, I think it was. Anyways, it was run by a little bit. A little bit. I was a Sicilian and Greek. I do the show there the first night.

He hands me an envelope and it's like 50 bucks light. He calls you a late. And I wasn't late. I wasn't late. The show started at 8. I'm the headliner. I'm not going on to fucking like quarter of 9. Right?

I guess they wanted me there right at 8. I get there at like 8.10. He fucking shorts me. What am I going to argue with them? It's got a suit on. Anyways, I play that same place. I got to norm and I liked them and his mother was 75 year old Sicily woman behind the bar and shit. So I played the place again.

I go in the men's room. His mother's in their snorting coke with a state trooper in his uniform. This is the, this is why I loved my job. And at that same club, I told you this, too, a rainy night. It's a different time. I played there a lot. It was like on a Wednesday night. It's pouring out miserable night.

I'm on stage. I see a guy come in late with a raincoat on. You guys, bear with me if you've already heard this, but he's got the toast hat, the water's dripping off it. And I'm sort of watching him while I'm on stage, and he goes and sits in the back in the corner. Show ends, blah, blah, blah. I'm talking to people.

Here he comes up to me. It's Frank Gorshian. You guys don't know who he played the Riddler and Batman in the 70s. He was a great impressionist. He was an actor, too. Great Impressionist. You can Google him. Watch him do.

Kirk Douglas was his big one. But he's a, I mean, a famous, famous guy. I think he actually won't. Did he go to Yale Drama School? I don't know, but he was a famous. And he comes up and he goes, you got it, kid, you got it. Get whack $50 last night.

I want to get it back? But I'm like, thank you. I fucking knew who his eyes are beat red. Probably hammered to the, but it made me so sad, this guy, you know, he's by himself. He was in town doing something. But Frank Gorshian,

he was on Merv Griffin, the Tonight Show, and tremendous. All right, let's move on. Boring you people. everybody knows you never go full retire. Apparently not. In our West Coast stupid segment tonight, incumbent Los Angeles mayor, Karen Big Mouth Bass, bewildered many when the Democrat made an impassion statement about fixing the rotting teeth of methamphetamine addicts.

Bass made the comments while campaigning for re-election. Excuse me. And I'll say it again. I really don't believe the elections are. I just don't believe anybody would elect her or Gavin Newsom, even once. I really believe they're placed in there somehow with sources, money, whatever. Bass made the comments while campaigning for a re-election at a candidate forum on the homelessness crisis. Listen to, just picture this because L.A. has never been worse.

We're homeless. There's fucking tents everywhere. People shooting up. Fucking shit. It has never been worse. and this is what she's concentrating on. L.A. Mayor Karen Bass promises artificial teeth to homeless meth heads. How many people who are unhoused that you may have no teeth at all?

They don't have teeth. Why? Because meth rots your teeth. You can't succeed without teeth. Uh-oh, retard alert. Retart alert. Why not? You succeeded without brains? you fucking commie twat that's what she's worried about

people in Palisades still living on a fucking trailers and motels and this is where this dumb slit is worried about in fucking saying and by the way your tax money

would pay for the teeth she tried to twist that into some shit too well it's the county it's not the they always get into the politics she's there to destroy the country

in that state and so is fucking no so They're globalists, folks. That fire was not an accident. We haven't heard the truth on that either. Bass was immediately hounded by critics who saw the crazed comments as emblematic of democratic policy.

You think? Yes, we want our fucking... Here's some people talking online, responding to her stupid statement. Yes, we want our fucking taxes paying for dope heads to get teeth. How could this get any worse? God, please intervene.

somebody said that on X. The next person said, once they get those new choppers, they'll become successful, gainfully employed model citizens. It's like magic teeth. If only we had known this sooner, think of all the people in L.A.

that aren't drug addicts that need dental care and she's not doing anything for them, which is a fucking legitimate point. There's no way. There's no way she's going to be around or Newsome. This can't be.

I'm almost hoping like he wins again, just to, I don't know, because it'll be a showdown, it'll be so one-sided. I don't know. No, I want Spencer Pratt. I don't even know who he is. I like his ads. Homelessness was a main focus of the mayor's main competitor,

former reality TV star, Spencer Pratt. So he was going around with his cameras. And this guy's, his three-minute campaign ads are more entertaining than a lot of movies you see today. They're so well done. You know, you get AI. Obviously, he knows guys that are how to use this shit. He's in show business.

They're tremendous. I mean, shot on, you know, fucking 11K cameras and just made that up. And I know what that is. Anyways. Who beat the Braves last night, though? Florida. Marlins? Yeah, spanked him.

They any good, Marlon? Oh, Matt. I saw enough the Braves to know they're good, though. I think they're going to be very good, though. I think they're going to be wrong at the end. You don't know. You really don't. But, you know, the socks are poor socks.

First of all, they're having a horrendous, you know, a horrendous start. But now the injuries are coming. And not to make excuses, but the end, I mean, without our race for a couple weeks, fucking watch his name. Mr. Roman Anthony, poor bastard. He just came off the fucking injured list and then sprains his wrist or whatever. So we haven't had him for about three, four games and maybe more. and yeah, it's just brutal.

But let me tell you, the pitching, the starting pitching and the bullpen have been lights out. All they needed was the offense everybody thought they were going to have. And they would be gangbusters. They can't hit. Jaron Duran, all due respect. I love the way he hustles and runs hard. I'd trade him tomorrow.

Too much swing and miss in that guy for a guy's in a majors. average fielder. I love his hustle, but we need more than that. Anyways, let's move on to something you guys care about, Ebony and Ivory. That was a song, by the way, that Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson did, I think. Was it? Or am I confusing that with another one? I don't know. I'm still trying to think of that street joke in my fucking head. Guy walks into the bedroom.

It was a woman who walked in. It sounded like my mother told a joke. Oh, was it a woman? Or was it a kitchen or not a bedroom. Anyways, Ebony and Ivory, a former Virginia Elementary School administrator who was hit with a $10 million verdict after a teacher was shot by a six-year-old student. I'll repeat that. Six-year-old student shot a teacher in the family. Is now on trial, the administrator is the criminal, the principal of the school, the black woman, for criminal child neglect charges.

And she faces decades in prison if convicted. Well, how about the fucking parents? You know, skip over them? Or we're going to get to them, too. Jury selection got underway Monday in the case against Ebony Parker. There she is, as sweet as they come. She's got the I hate white people braids in her hair and that puss on her face. Like she just got the wrong barbecue sauce at Arby's.

I'd like to speak the manager and cut his throat, please. Okay. The ex-vice principal of Rich Neck. elementary school in Newport News that don't get much blacker than that, Virginia. We're former teacher, Abby Zwerner. Look, she looks like every teacher

that slept with her 14-year-old student, but she's not. Was shot by a first grade student on January 6th, 2020, and they asked the principal who's being sued to speak on it. She said this.

That's all this tell the lady but the way that she's eaten, front of folks like a bird and I ain't aim for you to go to Mr. John Wilkes and eat like a field hand and gobble like a hog. That's what she said in her defense. She carries the woman, the blonde teacher who was shot, carries fragments of the bullet in her body to this day. Every time she says she has sex, they can smell gunpowder.

Look at the hate on darky's face. Anyways, I'll say Whitey's face too, so I don't want to get in trouble. I want to balance my hate. Anyways, Zwerner, the blonde teacher, sued this black principal for 40 mil, claiming she failed to intervene. Oh, that's why. Yeah, there's more of this. Despite warning signs, the first grader brought a gun into school that day and was acting alarmingly.

Parker had several chances, that's the black principal, to have the boy searched that day but refused to. See, that's because she sees life through black and white lens, race lens. oppressor. That's how she's like. Excuse me. So she's like, I'm not going to, I'm not going to frisk a little black boy. That's racist.

You fat, nasty black bitch. A jury awarded Zwerner 10 mil in damages against Parker in November. Parker is charged with eight counts of child neglect for each of the eight bullets. Wait a minute. That's pretty creative, ain't it?

Each of the eight, what did they get? a real right-winger, each of the eight bullets that were inside the pistol that the student brought into the school that day. Good mom, though, having a gun laying around. A loaded gun that your first grader could grab. Let's let that sink in here in the United States. She faces up to five years behind bars on each count, and no, she don't. It'll be a P, whatever the fuck, and she'll have to work at a car wash for six months and rake leaves and maybe do a month. That's how it works. I'm not making it up.

I'm using a little hyperbole to describe what her sentence will be, but that's the gist of it. If you're white, you get the $2.5 million bond thrown on in your head. You know, I think we've all had enough, haven't we? Not of the show. I'm not talking about the fucking situation. What's the next one? Oh shit, look out. It's a headline.

My acting, huh? A freight train collided with a septic truck. Why aren't I around when I see it? At a railroad crossing in Virginia last week, destroying the vehicle and spilling sewage onto the ground at the scene. The collision happened at around 4 p.m. on May 14th, according to Chesapeake Police Department.

video of the crash taken by a bystander shows the septic truck crossing the railroad tracks just as the oncoming, I don't know how you don't see this or hear it, unless you're like me and you're in your car and you have, you know, Ted Nugent on 11. As the oncoming Norfolk Southern train teaboned the vehicle. What a meal, huh? Steak and poop. The impact sent the truck careening onto the ground where it overturned and spilled sewage. from its tank. Apparently, you're fucking people,

uh, all the people, all the shit that was in this truck, the neighborhood, they were all just fucking eating pea soup for like two years. Uh, anyways, check out this. Uh, this is, this is fun if you see something like this live. If you don't want to see him get killed, but somebody survived.

Listen to the commentary from the guy from local four news. Play that one more time. Look at the train didn't derail. Yeah. Train didn't even feel it. They, they assessed it. damage $40 scratch. Holy shit.

What did the guy? He just didn't hear it because he crosses the track and he actually slows down so the ass end of his truck is still in the hey shit happens, get it? I didn't mean that. Where's that rim shot thing?

Oh, fuck it. Anyway, somebody else did that. A woman down here that we know. And I go, wasn't that a southern thing? She did the same thing. She was trying to do a rim shot? preliminary findings indicate that the truck failed to stop at a posted stop sign.

Oh, there you go. Now, you don't, out of all the stop signs, you're going to run. You know the odds of that? And they say it happens at like every 10 seconds? I don't know what it. The truck failed to stop at posted sign prior to the collision. The police department said in a Facebook, this incident remains under active investigation. Oh, take it easy, Columbo.

I think we know. when police arrived at the scene they found the overturned truck and a male driver with life-threatening injuries the driver was listed in stable condition they asked the quote from the driver

and he said well dip me in liquid shit and call it a love story what the accident caused a minor fuel-related hazmat situation who made up that phrase Pete Buttigieg Anyways, there was no immediate danger to the public, which they always say.

No. Thanks for clearing that up. Shut the fuck up. That's enough for today. I get tapped class. Cameo. Is that what I'm talking about? Folks, cameo.com.

It's been around. A lot of people, Brad Marshan is on it. A lot of famous people on it. Snoop, I think he'll do one for you for like five grand. If you want me to do a mini roast, make fun of a friend or relative, or say happy birthday to mom, go to Cameo.com, click on my profile. It'll tell you how to do it for a small fee, and it's well worth it. A lot of people use them as gifts, if they're fans of mine or whatever.

Anyways, that's it. You guys think that I'll say it very welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow, which is Wednesday. Until then, have a good day, everybody. Hi, good night, everybody.