The Nick DiPaolo Show - Scott Adams Wrongly Cancelled | Nick Di Paolo Show #1362

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

Scott Adams Cancelled For Laying Down Facts. Gutfeld and Maher on "Club Random". White Student Sues Howard University. Double Grand Salami.

🎵 Oh yeah, how you doing folks? Good to be with you. It's, I don't know, Wednesday? Is it a Wednesday? March 1st. Though April, I don't know, Wednesday? Is it a Wednesday? March 1st. Though April showers may come your way, they bring us flowers, something gay. I don't know. Anyhow, great to be with you again. Boy, this show is terrific. It really is. I'm fucking filthy rich from doing it. I'd like to smash the equipment with my face right now. Fucking updates and software updates that fuck up the monitors and all kinds of shit.

I'll say it one more time. Fucking internet and all this shit isn't ready for prime time yet. Ten years, they're going to look back and laugh like we laughed at people going, really? They didn't fucking have, you know, cigarette lighters? They rubbed two rocks together? That's where I feel we're at. So fucking annoying. Got here at 11 a.m. last night.

That makes no sense. I just lied and got caught. I got a bee in my bonnet, huh? Yeah. Anyways, fucking Bruins have ripped off seven wins in a row like they needed it. They're already burying the league. Third seven consecutive win streak. Third this year. And they're out on the road on the West Coast where they usually, no matter how good they are, when you go out there,

they usually get smacked around a little bit because it's tiring and the time change. They fucking ripped off like four or five in the last week out there. All's they do is win. All's I'm going to say is our goalie scored a fucking goal this year. End of discussion. I've never seen anything like it in my life. They picked up this kid who I'd love for the Capitals. I love because I hated him when he was on the Capitals.

I used to say he'd look good in black and gold. The fuck's his name? Hathaway. Garnet Hathaway. Kind of a chippy guy. Plays on the edge of dirty, which I love. Got him and we got a defenseman, Orla. Anyways, you guys don't want to hear it.

Anytime you hear Russian names, you're doing good. They can play hockey. Motherfuckers can. After Bobby, I think Ovechkin's my favorite fucking player. I always thought he was like 5'10", 190. Guy's 6'4", 240. And he's chasing fucking Gretzky. He won't catch Gretzky.

But he's. Anyways. What do you guys want to talk about huh what would you like to talk about cancel culture hey uh me and dallas have been doing uh this little segment uh we've been putting these in the can we haven't released any of them called bitch in kitchen because so many people have asked me like when i'm on the road i come off stage uh because i always talk about food and show pictures of the shit I made. And Colin Quinn and about eight comedians

for the last 15 years go, why don't you fucking do a segment? And I said, that's a last resort. So here I am. Anyways. No, it's actually, you know, I could have done it. What's funny than a guy making dough with his own hands and saying, cut. So we might release a snippet next week.

We've got like four in the can, and you'll have to be a Patreon or a subscriber to see it. But, you know, it's good. You get a few yucks. Get to see the inside of my dump. I mean house, not my actual dump. It's a nice dump. It is.

Speaking of that, I got a... Speaking of dumps, I got a hernia. What? Another hernia that's been, you know, keeping me up at night. It went away. The pain went away about 10 days ago. You know why? Because I got to go to the doctor tomorrow.

But I can feel a lump under my pubes. It's like a... Just feels like a, you know, a silly putty. It moves around. It's... I think I already had that side done. I'm just hoping it's a female nurse that checks the shit out. I'm very homophobic. Even if you're a doctor, I don't let you look at my fucking nuts.

As nice as they are. I may put makeup on them and shit. You never know. It could be a hot girl. I'll put a smiley face on my wife's lipstick. If it's a girl, if I have to have the operation, you know, they have to shave and shit, I'll say to the girl, be prepared to be disappointed. Anyhow, that's about it in my personal world. So, yes. I feel like I'm forgetting something nothing let's get

on with it another legend cancelled Scott Adams folks I'm not a big comic strip guy ever but you know Dilbert I even I recognize it's a cartoon that takes place like in an office. And when you see it, you'll see. It was in 2,000 papers in like 69 countries. So the guy, you know. But I didn't realize Greg Gutfeld, my buddy, used to keep bringing up this guy Scott Adams that he listened to. That's like his guru, go-to guy.

And he kept telling me how fucking good this guy. And I didn't realize it was the same dude. Anyways, Twitter owner Elon Musk used his newly acquired platform to defend cartoonist Scott Adams, who saw his Dilbert, here's Dilbert, strip cut from numerous papers over the weekend after making, now here you go. This is the New York Post, I think, even the Post, this is how I know we're fucked. There's a new generation and they all, it says over the weekend after making pro-segregation remarks. So right away, you're going to go, oh, what a dick. I'm not even going to read the rest of it.

During a YouTube live stream. First of all, it's not what he did. And if he did, maybe you can construe it as that. And if that's true, what's the big deal? Why is that a big deal? When Harvard University, the black kids on campus all over college want their own dorms, getting their own dorms, getting their own safe spaces, want to have separate graduations, so it's all right for you to call for segregation. When does the fucking double standard stop? But he backs this up. It's a little more complicated.

For a very long time, U.S. media was racist. This is him talking, right? Yeah. Against non-white people. Now they're racist against whites and Asian people. Biden, Hunter Biden. Musk tweeted on Sunday. Same thing. Oh, it's Musk talking. I'm sorry. Same thing happened with elite colleges and high schools in America. And you can't argue with that. Maybe they can try not being racist. I love Elon Musk. You are correct. I mean, again, I guess he was too busy 10, 15 years ago to pay attention to this shit. I was all over it. I should be half as rich as him by that logic. I'm going to invent something. Reacting to a poll. So Scott Adams was reacting to a poll where 26% of black respondents

took issue with the saying, it's okay to be white. But what they don't tell you in this article, because I read multiple articles about this, what they don't tell you in this one is 21% of black people weren't sure with the phrase, it's okay to be white. So that's 40, whatever the fuck, 47%.

Adams spoke about his decision to stop trying to help black people based on this. He said, based on the current way things are going, the best advice I would give to white people is to get the hell away from black people. Oh, how controversial. See how you can't even, you can't even speak your mind a little, Adam said. Just get, get the fuck away. Wake up, white people. And he's, look, this guy's super intelligent.

I know people on left, what are you talking about? He's racist. You just fucked him. I know people on left, what are you talking about? He's racist. You just fucking retire. I'm done with you. Obviously, the guy's super intelligent. He writes books and people love him and whatever. So he's no dummy. He had to know that this was going to make some waves.

Maybe he's tired of fucking, whatever. According to the Wyndham, New York native, racial relations in the United States are broken beyond repair, which is a thousand percent true because one side doesn't want to repair it. They want retribution. I've been saying that my whole life too. Shut it. Beyond repair. So he's going back off on being helpful. He's backing off being helpful to black America because it doesn't seem to pay off. I think we can all agree on that of all colors.

Again, except for white liberals. You got your own fake world. Those comments led hundreds of newspapers, including the Daily News, which is a piece of left-wing shit I wouldn't wipe my ass with, to stop publishing Dilbert. Distributor Andrews McMeel Universal said Sunday, it too will have no part in, I quote, commentary rooted in discrimination or hate. Take a big step back and literally fuck your own face. See, it's hate. That word hate hasn't been used right in a hundred years especially when

it comes to the racial thing boy the left has relied on that i'll say it again i was on tough crowd and i remember a segment i said what is with people always when you disagree when you somebody disagrees with somebody they're a hater remember p yo you're a hater. Remember, Pete, oh, you're a hater. That even bothered me. But it worked its way into our lexicon, and now, you know, they use it every chance. That's hate? That's fucking hate? He's using perfect logic?

I don't understand protecting. And black people would agree. There's black people, they don't need to be protected like they're an endangered species. Jesus Christ. The Anti-Defamation League, which threw me out of the league years ago for fighting, calls the phrase, it's okay to be white, an ostensibly innocuous slogan. In other words, to the public or whatever, it seems innocent. But he says, but it's used by, they say it's used by white supremacists. I mean, used by white supremacists.

Eventually, we're going to be able to say nothing. Everything's used by white supremacists. All lives matter. They would tell you that's used by white supremacists. Do you see how it is? How the fucking language means everything? Help me. Adams addressed the consequences of his actions on a sunday live stream

where he said most of his income will be gone by next week i gotta believe he's sitting on a pile though i don't know my reputation for the rest of my life is destroyed, he lamented. You can't come back from this, am I right? Musk agonized on Twitter. The media is racist. And that really is cuts right to it, doesn't it? It really does. The media is frigging racist, especially against white people. It's so funny how Joy Reid and those twats can talk openly with no, nothing to worry about. She has said shit that would get you fucking fried. And the whole left. Just put on, go online and go montage of left-wing hypocrites, whatever,

or talking heads on, you know, and you can't believe the shit they say. It's, I never knew, I knew the left hated this country. I had no idea, you know. I'll ask one more time. you know, I'll ask one more time. Can we pick up our muskets? Dallas. It's coming to that. Dallas knows. So there's a situation. Oh, shut the fuck up. Oh, it's my mom. I say it again. No, it's not. I'm kidding, folks. Relax. Anyhow, yeah, so there's a guy, a prominent guy. You know why he's being canceled? Because he's a mover and a shaker on the right. Just like Steven Crowder's on a death list and he's always in lawsuits and shit. Power players, you know? You got to do what I do. You stay, you know, unfamous right under the radar. Give everybody the bird. Go fuck yourself. Nobody bothers you except for your wife. Cancel me tomorrow if she could.

But I'm just saying, folks. Yes, so and I love the fact that Elon Musk is defending him. He seems to be on the right side. He gets it. Anyways, let's move on. Speaking of Scott Adams that I mentioned, the aforementioned Gutfeld. Greg Gutfeld, as you know, I contribute to his monologues.

Him and Bill Maher. Gutfeld went out and did Bill Maher's podcast, not the show. I was texting him, Greg, it's sort of like a first date. I think they were both nervous and shit. Of course, they both get high as a kite. Fucking they're drinking and what we all want to do. Anyways, so I pulled a couple clips from it. It's called random, I don't know, Club Random. Is that Bill Maher's thing? Yeah, Club Random with Bill Maher. Just Google that and put Gutfeld in there, too.

And as you know, Bill Maher's had a free reign for years to say anything he wants. Big lib. Went to Cornell, I think, too, of course. And, you know, his HBO shows are smash hit. And look, I know you hate him, but he represents his side well. I hated the fucking, his politics and whatnot but, you know, he does a decent job. He's got good writers but he never had anybody on the show that would really challenge him. You know,

he would always have on these conservative congressmen you've never heard of and just, you know, he'd have a conservative who wouldn't say boo and he's got like, you know, Ben Affleck and three other left-wingers just fucking shitting all over the,

you know, and the crowd fucking his seals applauded every stupid statement. And I'll say it again, he's a big reason we're in the fucking hole we're in as far as censorship and all that other shit. And as far as this country being divided. And what bugs me about this, I listen to,

you know, I watch the whole fucking hour. He never addresses that. You know? And Greg didn't really bring it up either because, like I said, this is the first date. I was texting him. He goes, the next date we fuck. And I said, yeah, then you never

call him again. But Greg, has sort of picked up the mantle for the right. You know? I mean, he can't get away. Think about it. He's on HBO. You can say anything you want. It's the most liberal.

I'd fucking burn that building down if I could. And I was on there with Chris Rock. So, yeah, you had Bill Maher representing, and Gutfeld's sort of his counterpart on the right. And Bill Maher's logic, which I disagree with, said, well, the reason Gutfeld's, you know, guys like him are getting popular is because the left is finally giving, they're so fucked up that there is comedy in there to make fun of.

Really? There hasn't been for the last 30 years? That's kind of a bullshit. That's what he believes. In other words, we were fine over here. There's nothing to laugh at. You can't really believe that, can you? Anyways, I used to go to, I lived on Doheny in Los Angeles, and I lived within walking distance of the Four Seasons Hotel. And I'd always walk in there like on a Friday night after I did a couple spots at the Comedy Cellar. I'd come home, park my car, and walk to the Four Seasons, and I'd see Bill Maher in there with some fucking smoking hooker.

I assumed Asian. Maybe his girlfriend. I don't know. You know, this guy owns part of the Mets. That's real fucking money. I don't know. You know, this guy owns part of the Mets. That's real fucking money. I couldn't believe when I read that. Jesus H. Anyways, the first clip

I'm going to show you. What were they fucking talking about? PC movies. PC movies. That's right. And how you know, how you can't. And I'm sitting there watching it going, yeah, you help bring it. You help bring it, going, yeah! You helped bring it, like, you helped bring it to this, in my opinion.

Anyhow, let's take a look at these two fellas kind of interacting for the first time. Any movie made even ten years ago, and there's something there that you,

you, if you really examine who you are. You probably are not offended at all. We all laughed at this stuff and it wasn't terribly. We know what something's terribly offensive, but when you hear it now in 2023, you hunch up because you know, not because of it itself, but because you know the reaction it will cause.

Yes. You know, you're going to have to listen to you know the reaction it will cause. Yes. You know you're going to have to listen to... It's a great point though. You know, me, there is no... For me, I don't have a line that could be offensive. You know? Pete Davidson does a joke about his father dying in the fucking towers.

That's when I go, that guy's a fucking comic. Apparently girls like him. But I'm just saying, for me, there's no line. There's no fucking line. I've had people, my fan, I had a guy come up to me, this was years ago, at a club in Michigan, go, dude, I'm a fan of yours, but you went way over with the retarded baby being stabbed in the face.

No, I can't remember what the joke. It was like a McDonald's joke. Retired wearing a hockey helmet and a friolator. Like an old fucking. That's where he drew the line. Because he probably has a retarded kid at home. And I said, fine. But, you know, I saw you laughing at the AIDS jokes and the fucking, you know. Anyways.

Go ahead. He's right. People bitching about this. And posturing. And pretending they're so offended and it's so terrible. And that's what's going to be so. And pause. But those are your fans, Bill.

The people who do that, those are your fans. And it's what they do to guys like me on Twitter and shit. That horseshit comes from the left. Censorship comes from the left. Again, I've been saying this since tough times. PC, supposedly everybody hates, comes from the fucking left. Not the fucking right. Maybe in 1950, the right-wing Christians, when they had some power,

would say, you know, don't say that or whatever the fuck. But those days are long gone. And the PC thing is to stop straight white guys. That's that's that's how it came about. Anyways, go ahead. That's the thing. They're not offended. Well, they're not. No one's really offended. I think. Well, because you can like, you know, when you are offended and some things are offensive. Yeah. I mean, but it's kind of like when you when I said, like, do you Google people who are dead? When you're offensive, if you just waited 10 seconds, you would forget.

You know, you would just forget. Instead, they get on Twitter and then they create this kind of like mob reaction. And then it's people are so bored and they're so distracted that this is that. And also, it's a personal power thing. It's like if I don't have any power in my world, at least here i can exert some kind of power get somebody to apologize that's all they have in their lives and it's true bill was right too because when you hear something now it's not about being offended what was said although there are people in this role i believe that but at least if you're on the right you're like oh god now we're gonna listen to these fucking people whine about how racist they are and again it's not right when people say it's

racist he helped create that's all i'm saying bill and what's gutfeld trying to show his pipes here um and then the second part they talk about porn like if you get two comics together it's gonna come up um and here i think they were talking about how young guys, this generation, there's a new poll out there. We're not going to go fucking date porn. It's great. It's like 60% of young guys. And there's a million reasons for that. They don't want to get hashtag me too'd, fucking somebody crying rape. I believe some of that. But I also believe guys are visual when it comes to sex. And especially, like I said, if you're this generation

dealing with these broads who think they can knock you out and they want to fucking sue you and shit, stay home or blow a load on your stomach. Turn over to bed. Go ahead. That marries this 23-year-old hot whatever. She's not related to you. Talk about a porn. That marries this 23 year old hot whatever. She's not related to you. That's the search,

the go-to search on like Pornhub. Why? Because they imagine this is going to really happen? They're talking about what they call like incest porn. You know, the story is the stepmother fucking her daughter's young boyfriend, that type porn and the guys that's the most popular among young guys and this is greg's rationale for good i'm using your logic i'm saying that it's masturbatory material but there's a possibility that maybe it's part of their life and very close and they're lazy yes it just makes sense yes yeah how do they monetize that they don't want to leave that i don't get that is fascinating i never really actually because it's free do you remember let me ask you this the idea that they i've wondered about this the idea that incest porn is really about being lazy it's about being lazy yeah the person you don't want to even leave the house

you don't want even leave the house She's right there she's right there That's true that is an epiphany that's good I don't like your jerk-off name hey take it easy That was pretty funny it is that's what a young guy's like That's their dream. This sister comes home and you know with a hut friend or this stepmom. It's. That's what a young guy's like. That's their dream. Their sister comes home with a hot friend. Or this stepmom. She's got huge tits. Not me. I like the Latino

what is it called? Amateur housewives. I had a bit in my act because I saw that. Amateur housewives. I added the Latino part. Amateur housewives. It's a Latino part. Amateur housewives. It's a porn category. I go there and I said,

I'm expecting to see people, Hispanic women dressed up in maid's outfits getting fucked. They weren't. They were just horrible housewives. Burning roast. A lady's trying to vacuum. She's got a hockey stick. She's trying to get dust out. It was terrible.

And I said, I still got a nut off because I like retarded girls. And that was that joke. And they said, next. Alright, let's move on, folks. This is nine minutes left of the show. Before I do, guys and gals, I'll be back on the road soon.

Here's where you can see me. I'll be in Palestine, Ohio licking the streets no, March 10th and 11th that's right around the goddamn cornice and states, that's 9 days from now Dallas, and we're leaving on the 9th because I don't want to get up

on the 10th in the morning, I said fuck that I do not want to get up I don't want to do anything before noontime because my bowels are very unpredictable. I swear to God, that's the reason. We fly out on the 9th, Alice, which is better than getting up, I think. Anyways, that's

the Comedy Club of Kansas City in KC Mizzou on the 10th and the 11th. New dates, it says. March 23, 24, 25. Comedy, it just says Comedy Key West. That's the name of it. Comedy Key West, Key West, Florida.

Never done comedy down there. And again, not with a driving distance. April 21, but I booked it myself, actually, through a comic. April 21 and 22, The Funny Bone in St. Louis and St. Charles, Missouri. And then May 12, the Hilton Daytona Beach Oceanfront Resort, Daytona Beach, Florida.

You can get tickets to all these shows at nickdip.com. Click on the tour button, everybody. What do we got now? There are white niggers. I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time. I don't like that word. I'm not a big fan, unless I'm in a car by myself and somebody cuts me off. A white male who was a former student at Howard University.

I had 100 yards rushing against him in a scrimmage up at Maine. True story. School of Law has sued the historically black institution. Can you imagine? Claiming he suffered racial discrimination in a hostile education environment. I believe 1,000%. I don't give a shit if black people are smart enough

to go to college or rich enough. They still hate whitey. Although Howard had a white quarter. Some black school, Grambling, one of those had a white quarterback one year for like three years. And they fucking loved him because he was good. I don't know how that happened. Anyways, he's suing for discrimination. He had a hostile environment on campus before he was

expelled in 2022. Are you interested in the real story? Yes am michael newman who attend i one of the black people who knew hello newman yo what's up newman that's a sidefall version michael newman who attended uh husl that's how university student law or whatever the fuck something law from 2020 until 20 this is the law school now, 20 to 2022, claimed in a new lawsuit filed on February 16th that he suffered pain, suffering, emotional anguish, and damage to his reputation as a result of repeated racial discrimination from at least one professor and several students at the school. Is it because we're black? You're not even black.

Newman enrolled in the private school in the fall of 2020 after accepting a scholarship the previous December. However, according to the lawsuit, Newman soon began to experience significant racial discrimination for sharing personal views in class held virtually due to COVID lockdowns. So he's given his voice on Zoom things, you know, like they did when they were locked down. Can you imagine? And black people had a problem with it. In one particular, they're not for, they're not for free speech. Who's they, Nick? These people in this story, okay? And a lot of people like them.

In one particular instance, Newman disagreed with a pro-Biden speaker at a symposium held in October 2020, stating, in a professor online forum where I part with black community is where they believe government solves problems. I only see it causing problems. That's what Newman said. And this is why they got upset.

Newman later added that he wondered whether black communities' allegiance to the same party, Democrats, every election, caused both Republicans and Democratic politicians to ignore the needs of black communities. How can you argue with that? That's actually one of the most legitimate arguments I've heard.

Yes, yes, but it's not pro-black. So you must be a racist and we want you off campus. By January of 2021, Newman learned that a fellow HUSL student had unearthed a tweet Newman had issued seven months before from a personal account. The tweet included an image of a badly beaten slave with the caption, but we don't know what he did before the picture was taken. Though Newman later explained to his colleagues, first of all, you really think a white racist

would go to an all-black school? Isn't that enough right there? This is how fucking hateful they are. The professors including and the people who run the school. Can you fucking imagine? Yeah. He hates black. He wants to be surrounded by him on campus. Though Newman later explained to his colleague that the message was intended to demonstrate the problems with presuming that black suspects who became injured or died while in police custody must have done something to deserve their fate. The lawsuit indicated that the student who retweeted the image refused to engage in dialogue with Newman. Of course he did.

Because he couldn't handle the fucking truth. And he fucking knew he was wrong. He just hated his skin color. And Newman backed it up with logic and reasoning, and that's when they go haywire. And that response to the tweet made repeated references to Newman's race. Okay, who's the races here? Gender, sexual preference, another way he called them a fag, crackin', you know, and personal appearance.

There's something wrong with the black man's mind! There's something wrong with his mind! His mind was fined until white liberals got a hold of him. Newman alleged in the lawsuit that such hostility from other students soon became the norm at Howard. He claimed that some students regularly hurled racial slurs such as Mayo King, I like that one, and White Panther at him. Those are good names. That should be a name of a hockey team, White Panther. When he attempted to address the racial discrimination with global head of diversity recruiting Reggie McGee, McGee, I should say.

McGee, he told Newman over the phone that he had become the most hated student he'd ever seen in his tenure at Howard Law. Whose fault is that? He's probably also become the most honest student that you've ever heard as far as white people go. I'm surprised he even let him on. Newman was ultimately expelled by Howard in September of 2022.

He was just too much of a pain in the ass, I guess. All right, get up! He is now suing the school for $2 million for pain, suffering, emotional language, and damage to his reputation. Good for you. Good for you, spy. Don't take the shit off nobody. Mm-hmm. see how it is you think they cut him a break and shit

you know one white guy although I did see a what's this story recently I saw who was it was it a famous person talking in high school him and two other guys the only white guys in his school and the black guys liked him because they because they had the balls to go to that school and whatever, put up with so much shit. I'm just saying. We could have done a reverse the races on that one.

We did. I'm sorry. Like, wow. Good night, everybody. I'm John Fetterman. No, the first one we could have used, that's right, the first one. Anyways, tell us because we did. Can I call you a cab, Nick? I can't find my way home. Finally tonight, let's

end it on a light note. The natural. You guys, I love baseball. I played it in high school and I was pretty damn good at it until I tore up my shoulder playing football and I couldn, I love baseball. I played it in high school, and I was pretty damn good at it until I tore up my shoulder playing football, and I couldn't throw up baseball. There's having a day. I dressed for two games, varsity as a sophomore,

and then I didn't like the coach either. There's having a day on the baseball diamond. Then there's what Northern Kentucky University's Liam McFadden Ackman did on Sunday afternoon. He accomplished a feat that only Fernando Tatis, I use him in one of my jokes too, can say he did in Major League Baseball history, let alone college baseball.

What did he do, folks? This guy hit two grand salamis in the same inning. I'll read that again to you. Two grand slams in the same goddamn... Hot dogs, get your hot dogs here. Oh, boy. Does that sound low to you? Do I have it? Turn it up a little.

No? It might be me. Anyways, let's take a look at the... McFadden-Ackman would get a hit and three more at bats. Listen to this. Finishing the day five for six with four unscored and ten ribbies, including Fred Lynn got ten ribbies against the Tigers when I was a kid, 1975. He's MVP of the league as a rookie.

Had three homers and a triple. He had 10 RBI winners, including a single that drove in two runs in the sixth inning. This guy's terrific. He was the best guy around. Let's take a look at his first grand salami. Bases loaded. First inning. Bye-bye. There's four yummy, yummy ribs.

Okay. That's good. The second one follows this in the same video. Oh, in the same video? You piece of... Go ahead. All right, let it roll. All right. Same inning, right?

He was the best. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. He gets a little more excited round in third here, which is allowed now. What a feeling. Oh! Don't do that in the pros. I mean, they're starting to do it a little, because you know, God forbid we played like white people and acted humble.

But if you did that in the pros, spiked your helmet after hitting a grass slant, you would be beamed in that helmet. That's fucking guaranteed. Even today, you can't go. But in college, what the fuck? I mean, that's a big deal is right. That's like me getting laid twice in one week. I'll tell you.

Anyways, I thought we'd end it on a light note, kids. That is it, ladies and gentlemen. Don't forget Cameo.com. If you want me to roast a friend or a relative, go to Cameo.com, and, you know, it'll be fun. Or if you want me to say happy anniversary to your parents, if those assholes are still alive. I'm just kidding. I love all your people.

All right. That's it. You guys think it. I'll say it. You're very welcome. See you back here tomorrow. Take care. Hi.

Good night, everybody. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. everybody guitar solo Thanks for watching!