The Nick DiPaolo Show - SCOTUS Abortion Opinion Leaked | Nick Di Paolo Show #1202

Episode Date: May 3, 2022

Roe V Roberts. Food for thought. Alex Jones on the "Hook". A FL mother... Snake handler dies from bite. Queers grooming in NJ.

🎵 Oh yeah. Hello folks, welcome to the show on Tuesday from the state of Georgia. They're filming something down here. Did you notice, Dallas? A bunch of blocks blocked off with cop cars yesterday and shit. And I walked by without my shirt on to see if I could play an extra. They said, listen, dumpy, you're in the shot. Clear frame. Clear frame. Hey, lock the gate.

That's another one they yell on the sets. Where's the PA? Where's the PA? And get that gun away from Alec. What? Get a gun. Excuse me. Fucking Bruins got smoked last night.

Well, they actually played good, but, again, old hockey Boston update, folks. It's in my blood. I'm from Boston. And we're playing Carolina. Carolina, who's beaten us. The Hurricanes have beaten us three times this year. We played them three times.

Now we're facing them in the playoff. They beat us for a fourth time last night. And they're big and they're fast and they will fucking hit you. And the Bees play, I think, as good as they can play. So they're fucked. I hope I'm wrong because I was listening to the local feed,

the Carolina announcers. They had zero respect for the Bruins. They were talking like the canes of the fucking 72 Montreal Canadiens. I don't think we have a chance. But I hope we pull this one off. You never know in hockey. And I'm going to say it one more time. I do this every year at this time of year. If you don't watch playoff hockey,

you don't like sports. You just don't like sports. I am a college football guy to the core. But when it comes down to a spectator sport, NHL, playoff hockey, they turn it up 10 notches. It's almost like you want to yell at them. What were you guys fucking slacking during the regular season? You put it on, it's a whole different speed. It's way more vicious. After the Bruins ended, I watched about two minutes of the Edmonton and the LA Kings. Within the first minute of the game, there were like three punching matches

in the back of the head and crosschecks in the teeth. And, you know, fucking pileups in front of the, I mean, vicious. It's fucking, uh. TV doesn't give it justice on the speed at all. No, no, everything, everything live is way better, but, but,

look, if you're from Boston and we've watched your shit, like, you know what reminds me of when I came down here to Dallas, and you can relate because it's Alabama, Texas. I came down here and I go to a pro bass shop there and I see fathers with little kids picking out ammunition, guns, and shit.

That's what it's like in the Northeast for hockey. If you go into a pro shop, you'll see the same thing, only buying equipment and shit. It's just two different cultures. But it shows how good hockey is that the Carolinas and Florida and California, Gretzky brought it out there. It is just fast. They play for sometimes eight minutes at a time without a whistle. And I don't mean like soccer or fucking in the neutral zone i'm talking vicious checks great say it's it's so entertaining and um again colin quinn

says that his theory is you like you like to watch what you grew up playing and shit and well i for the most part that's true you know i mean? Kids in the South didn't really play hockey. You know, it's all different now. But I'm just saying, I can't watch fucking hoops for the life of me. It's just, I'll argue that until I'm blue in the face. If you can sit there and watch teams trading baskets for two hours before it means anything, I doubt your IQ. Yes, I appreciate they can dunk behind the head and they're great at anything. I doubt your IQ. Yes, I appreciate they can dunk

behind the head and they're great. I know all that, but I'm just saying. Fucking hockey, especially playoff hockey for its money. Anyways, enough of my soapbox shit. Let's talk about curling, my second favorite sport. Up in Canada, you know you're going to be a janitor. They recruit. They go to high schools and they draft guys. All righty then. Let's get to it. Big fucking news. Shaking the earth, ladies and gentlemen.

Roe versus Roberts. The first story. Chief Justice, you might have heard it. You must have heard this last night. It was all over. Chief Justice John Roberts on Tuesday ordered an investigation into the unprecedented leak of a draft opinion suggesting the Supreme Court is poised to

overturn the landmark 1973 Roe vs. Wade case that legalized abortion nationwide. And he's going to find out who leaked it. I'm going to find out what the hell happened here. You're goddamn right. Hear ye! Hear ye!

The coat's in session. The coat's in session. Now here come the dink. Here come the judge. He fucked us in Obamacare, that's all I know. Roberts slammed the leak as an egregious breach of trust in the high court's first public comment since the draft opinion was published by Politico late Monday. Somebody leaked it to cause all kinds of controversy,

get public opinion against. They were already protesting in front of wherever the... It's so intentional. And I say Sotomayor did it. I swear to God. Who's the other liberal twat on there? She's dead, the old Jew broad. I'm telling you, I'm kind of kidding but who else would leave I don't know I

swear to God that's the level they play out I would I would put Sotomayor who's the other okay good I would put her in the fucking polygraph test too And I'd say, do you have a car? And I'd go, although the document described in yesterday's report is authentic, it does not represent a decision by the court or the final position of any member on the issues. Then why are we getting all excited about it? Roberts said in his statement, he said, and I quote, to the extent this betrayal of the confidences of the court was intended to undermine the integrity of our operations, it will not succeed. The work of the court will not be affected in any way. Well, then relax. Get your panties in a bunch under that rope. He added, I have directed the marshal of the court to launch an investigation. Well, it sounds like you do believe it's going to affect something, into the source of the leak.

Again, check Sotomayor or Kagan. Look under their robes with their giant balls. The majority opinion was written by Justice Sammy Alito, another one who's supposed to be conservative, which I guess he could have,

I don't know. It's a whole different definition. And linked in an extraordinary breach of Supreme Court procedure that immediately sparked political outrage and protests outside the court already. I just read something from Brent Prozell. What is it? Center for Media, whatever the fuck. I've actually interviewed the guy on the radio. You know, it's like a right wing keeps eye on fucking nonsense, left wing nonsense in the media. It tracks how much

and he's shitting his pants saying it's going to get ugly. It's going to get, you're going to see violence. He actually said people could, because this really has been a hot button issue.

Personally, I don't give a rat's ass. You guys, the best jokes in my standup right now, and I've been doing them for about a year and a half, my abortion jokes. Because I don't, I'm sort of in the stand-up right now, and I've been doing them for about a year and a half, are my abortion jokes.

Because I don't, I'm sort of in the middle. I don't, when I was young, I got a few girls pregnant, so I'd be a hypocrite to say I'm pro-life. You know what I mean? I didn't have the kids. Do what all guys do. You pretend to have a party and you push them off the front steps. No.

Anyways, Roe was egregiously wrong from the start, Alito wrote in the 98-page first draft labeled The Opinion of the Court. That's what Alito said. Who the fuck are you? Are you writing a book? Who the fuck are you? Sam Alito. Get off his back. The right to have an abortion up until around 23 or 24 weeks, four goes in, so that's six months, has been federally protected under the Constitution since the Roe v. Wade decision 49 years ago in 1973. And it's a touchy subject, folks. You know what I mean?

Oh, goodness. Look at the head. There's the feet. Oh, no. Almost done, Jimmy. Biscuit his eyeballs. I don't like it. I have moved to the right on this, but not to the...

Again, go see my actor or whatever. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing. Putting a new special out. My buddy Joe List put a new special on YouTube. I don't know know what I'm supposed to be doing, putting a new special out. My buddy Joe List put a new special on YouTube, and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing at this point, you know? I've done enough. 35 years fucking defending what everybody's defending now, freedom of speech. If Roe versus Wade is overturned by the U.S. Supreme Court, 26 states are likely to restrict abortion. Good. Haven't you had it? How about this? We do a trade-off. Have a sunset clause in there. You got to kill babies since the 1970s, 50-something years. Okay, now let the pro-lifers have it for 50 years, and then we'll go back to killing. How about that?

It's not enough? 63 million abortions since Roe vs. Wade was passed. And that statistic I read a few years ago impacted more than 40 William, 40 William, 40 guys named Bill who fucked a girl named Jen. 40 million women of childbearing age according to the report. The Guttmacher Institute, a New York based pro-choice research, cl, you are an idiot, I don't know, pro-choice research organization reported last year that 22 states already have anti-abortion laws that would kick in as soon as Roe v. Wade falls. Those states are, and I'll go in alphabetical order, Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Georgia, mostly SEC teams. Arizona, no, but Idaho, Iowa, Kentucky.

Oh, we're getting into the Big Ten. Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, West Virginia, Rocky Mountain, Wisconsin, and Wyoming. So this is interesting. This is, you know, because, and here's what you're going to hear on TV. It's because of Trump, he loaded the court. All the more reason we have to bump up, but you know, it're going to hear on TV. It's because of Trump he loaded the court. All the more reason we have to bump up. But, you know, they're going to blame Trump.

And the feminist whores have had it their way so long that they're going to lose their shit, folks. Like, we don't have enough shit going on. Again, this is probably a planned distraction from what our government's really doing in Ukraine and everywhere else. And turning this country into a Marxist shithole, which it is. Yeah, so you're going to see a lot of that, blaming of Trump and whatnot. And

tough, tough. Let the far right, not the far, let the pro-lifers have a little, I mean, Jesus, you've been sawing up babies like... enough already. Now they're already yelling, my body, my choice. Where the fuck were you in the mass situation, the, I'm sorry, the fucking jab situation? Oh, now you're back to that. You guys have no moral compass. That and most of you women have fucking handlebar mustaches and no

tits. Those are the protesters I'm talking about. Last night there was a, oh, Food for Thought is the next story. This is the one that caught my eye, and I saw it on TV a few days ago. I don't know why this isn't a, I would put this ahead of the goddamn abortion.

Last night there was a fire at a food processing plant in America. It was, get this, the 18th such accident to hit our food processing plants and distribution centers since what, folks, 1988, 99, or 2006, 2022, this year, 18 since the beginning of this year. Oh, I'm sure that's a coincidence. You guys know what you're watching, right? A cultural revolution. You're watching a country going from capitalism to wherever the fuck the elites want to take it.

And that's why when you read the stories about critical race theory and them talking to kids about sex, that's a cultural revolution. And you're scratching your fucking head. And we're sitting around watching it. Here's a little footage of the food processing plant. A couple of them were hit by planes this year already. It's fucking creepy. Not to mention China owns a shitload of farmland. They're buying up farmland like crazy. Goodness Eloise but here's here's some footage if you don't blame me look it's a couple of kids getting high. Yeah. So, Mamma Mia, Puppeteer.

Two of them have been hit by small planes. That's fucking weird. Going to sacrifice your life? I don't know. And you know what else this does? This gives Biden a built-in excuse now to say why food... They're trying to fuck up our food line, folks. That's what it is.

I don't know who the fuck... But this... Soros? Exactly. Guys like Soros. Exactly. 18 such incidents in only four months. I'll repeat that.

18 in four months is an unprecedented rate. Usually there are a dozen or less in any calendar year. Even I found that a little odd. Really? What the fuck are you doing? Do you ever have OSHA in there to check you? On April 22nd, there was an explosion at Shearer's Foods in Hermiston, Oregon. That's where I get my chicken. It's delicious. On April 21st, I'm listing all the things, an unidentified small plane crashed into the General Mills plant in Covington, Georgia. Somebody who doesn't like Cheerios. On April 19th,

a mysterious fire destroyed the largest independent food distributor in the United States. On April 14th, a food processing plant in Salinas, California called Taylor Farms caught fire. Okay. Anybody looking into this FBI? Are you still worried about white supremacy, you dinks? On April 13th, a pilot crashed his plane into a potato plant in Idaho. What do you get there? That's right.

French fried potatoes. It's a plus side. On April 12th, the East Conway beef and pork plant. That was a gay bar I used to hang out at, the Beef and Pork. God damn it, where's my rim shot? That's a great name for a gay bar, the Beef and Pork Plant.

In New Hampshire caught fire. All of that happened in the last two weeks. Last two friggin' weeks, man. I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take this anymore! At the start of February, a fire broke out at a fertilizer plant in Winston Salem. I thought I smelled shit.

In January, a mysterious fire broke out at Van Droonen Farms plant in Illinois. March... This is all this year, by the way. March 31st, a fire broke out at Rio Fresh Onion Factory in San Juan Tech. That must have smelled good, though. You got to be honest. Anything better than burnt. On March

24th, a fire broke out at a potato processing plant in Maine, for the love of God. On March 19th, a fire broke out at a Walmart food distribution center in Plainfield, Indiana. You want more, folk? Look at that. The hell's burning there. What are they selling? Chicken breast made of tires? Jesus H. On March 17th, a fire broke out at a Nestle food plant, Jonesboro, Arkansas. You get the idea. Fire, fire, fire. According to Zero Hedge, the FBI is now warning that cyber attacks against agricultural targets are actually happening and may be an attempt to disrupt the supply of seeds and fertilizer well hey thanks for letting us know what the fuck where have you been the last problem whatever a fucking problem you fucking dr y onking jam rag arkin spunk bubble i'm telling you h

you keep looking at me i'm to put you in the fucking ground. I promise you. Not this time. Ah! The FBI bulletin does exist. It was issued on April 20th. The key sentence, this is what they put out on April 20th of this year.

Since 2021, multiple agricultural cooperatives have been impacted by a variety of ransomware variants. Hey, all right, thanks. Wondering what all those fires were and why my pork chops are well done when I bought them at the supermarket. And the FBI waited until April 2022 to warn anybody about it. The obvious question, what is the relationship between all the mysterious fires and the cyber attacks that have happened? It's a good question. It's a sick question.

No, it ain't. I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it, said the FBI guy. I seem to remember a bald psychopath warning the world that he was now a prophet. Oh, that's who they were talking about. Fucking, I call him Charles Schwab, but it's not.

Klaus, right? Klaus Schwab. This is the guy, the head of the World Economic Forum. He's the one, when I talk about 10 guys in the room running the world, this motherfucker. This is all his blueprint, apparently. He was talking about how I profit and that all these things would come to pass thanks to the corrupt global elites at the World Economic Forum. Well, so I got,

that wasn't him talking, but this is what they were talking about. So let's see what we are facing in 2022. We're on the brink of a global recession. On the brink? What are you talking about? We've been in one. The bond market is a mess. I wouldn't know that if it bit me in the eye. Inflation is out of control. There's a global food crisis brewing. Gas prices and food prices have skyrocket. Yet fucking shithead Biden says he's going to run again. None of it makes any sense unless you understand the great reset.

That's what's happening. When I just said to you, too much coffee, I'm getting shit pains right now. When the Biden regime tells you that something is not happening, the guy who wrote the article said, you can take it to the bank that something is happening. Exactly goddamn right.

He always does. He's on the verge of dying, I swear to God. I mean, mean honestly it's possible got my fingers crossed Jill goes to shake him in the morning it's like that scene in that movie mask at the end remember the kid with the ugly face she is drunk come on get up rocky she wakes up rolls over and he's not responding he's you go. She goes, oh, finally, thank God. Yeah, thank Jesus.

Now I can, I don't know, weigh in on what I really felt about him. I had to bang this old duffer for 20 years to get in the White House. Come on, Rocky, get up. You got a test. Remember that story?

And then Bob Seger's song kicks in, Roll Me Away. Good movie. Cher was so good in that. I liked the finger popper sister. Good night, everybody. But anyways, let's move on to some fucking more depressing news. Let me just show you this about that.

I got a stomachache. What did I eat? Oh, what didn't I eat? Oh, that banana cake. You know that banana cake? I know, I was going to bring it a piece, and Andy grabbed the last one. I had that along with my banana ice cream that I make with frozen bananas, so you puree it. It's like soft serve.

Dude, it's like, boy, and it was so good. So I did that,. It was so good. So I did that, and that was after dinner. And then at like, I'm watching the hockey game at midnight. I eat a bag of fucking, you know croutons you put on the salad? They come in those bags. I eat those like a snack. It's better than any chip pretzel.

I don't even smoke pot. Anyways, and a bunch of other shit. That means I have to go with the room next to it. Wait until you guys are 60. Let me tell you something. Let's move on. Families of Sandy Hook give Alex Jones the hook. Doesn't sound like what it sounds like.

Families of victims of the 2012 massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School have agreed to remove InfoWars as a defendant in their defamation lawsuit. And now you guys are saying, why would they do that? It sounds like they're doing them a favor, but no, there's obviously more strategy. Hoping to end what they've called the charade of InfoWars bankruptcy filing.

The families accused InfoWars of intolerable abuse through bankruptcy, which the website sought after its founder, Alex Jones, were found liable for damages after claiming the Newtown, Connecticut shooting that killed 20 children and six staff members was a hoax. You're fucking crazy. He might be, but I have an angle on this, too.

fucking crazy. He might be, but I have an angle on this too. When an entity, here's why they're taking him off as a defendant on the paperwork, when an entity files for bankruptcy protection, it automatically suspends all litigation pending against

that entity. I've got to think about that down there. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to talk to you. Get away from me. I'm filing for bankruptcy. These cases were removed to this court to serve one purpose and one purpose only, delay, the family said in a new court document filed in Connecticut on Monday. So they're saying that he filed for bankruptcy so he will, you know, be immune to litigation,

but it's not quite that easy. Every day that these cases are frozen on the Connecticut Superior Court docket is a day that Alex Jones avoids accountability and delays trial, the document states. Every day they are removed, harms these families, fight for justice. Counselor? Yes, ma'am. Counselor? Yes, ma'am. Counselor? Last month, Jones was fined $25,000 for declining to sit for a deposition for the lawsuit.

The Connecticut court ultimately ordered the return of $75,000 in fines after Jones attended a rescheduled deposition later in the month. Jones is facing a new lawsuit in Texas over accusations that the InfoWars host hid millions of dollars in assets after the litigation in the Sandy Hook case began. I was interviewed by Roger Stone, filled in for him on InfoWars, and he interviewed me.

That was pretty cool. Jones himself did not file for... By the way, there's a theory. We talked about it on the show. I introduced you to Bill Hicks, the comic, right? There's a theory that when he died of cancer that he didn't actually die, that he went somewhere and became...

People actually think this is Bill Hicks doing a character because he sort of looks just like, and he does. That's what Hicks would look like older and fatter. I see the face right here, but it's crazy. I don't believe that, but I mean, it's very interesting. Uh, Jones himself did not file for bankruptcy and it is believed he retains the bulk of the assets that could be used to pay the family's damage awards. The family's called InfoWars and its offshoots shell companies that offered nothing

to ensure that this intolerable abuse of the removal process ends immediately. All of the plaintiffs in these case... Why does it say in these case? Do they mean in this case violent it's like the fourth fucking typo in this stupid voluntarily dismissed all of their claims against infamores the filing said alex jones claims a form of psychosis that's in a quote caused him to believe that the sandy hook massacre was staged, which, listen to this.

Myself, you know, almost had like a form of psychosis back in the past where I basically thought everything was staged, even though I've now learned a lot of times things aren't staged. So, you know, I think as a pundit and someone giving opinion, that, you know, my opinions have been wrong, but they were never wrong consciously to hurt people. It's just so ridiculous. Psychosis. wrong, but they were never wrong consciously to hurt people. It's just so ridiculous.

Psychosis. From watching the news and the misinformation. I don't know how that's going to stand up. But again, here's my opinion. I think he's nuts about that theory. And he admitted that he was wrong. Right. But my point, even if he never admitted he was wrong, Wrong, right? But my point, even if he never admitted he was wrong, you have a right in America to that opinion. As fucking crazy and as hurtful it is to people who were involved in the incident. Sorry. If you believe in free speech, absolutist.

You know what I mean? Yeah, it's fucking nuts. So what? That's like going about the Kennedy assassination. No, you can't say that. How silly is that? For years, Jones, the founder of Infowars, peddled a conspiracy theory about the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School where a shooter killed 20 children, six adults in 2012.

Jones has repeatedly claimed the massacre was a giant hoax carried out by crisis actors in a broad scheme to trample on Second Amendment rights. He's not the only one that believes that. And it's not the only case. The Boston Marathon bombing, a lot of people believe that. My late great buddy, who's no dummy, he really believed that was a false flag. And when they say false flag, folk, that doesn't mean real people don't die in shit. The government will stage shit where they're going to sacrifice a few of you pigeons. They'll sacrifice a few and have actors, so it's a combination of the two. Yeah, exactly.

That way it can be believable. Of course. I thought I saw Tom Selleck and Johnny Depp at the marathon. and Johnny Depp at the marathon. Jones acknowledged in a sworn deposition stemming from a lawsuit filed by the families of Sandy Hook victims that the school shooting was in fact real. So he finally came around out of his psychosis.

Jones blamed the trauma of the media, which is silly. I mean, that's silly. That's not going to help you. And the corporation's lying so much for triggering his extreme distrust in news and information. Well, that's actually, it's got me a

little nuts, so, but not to that. Neither Jones nor his attorney, well, the whole country has been put into a psychosis now that you think about it. When you can watch a story about a guy who has a dick and, my name is Diane, and we all just nod. Neither Jones nor his attorneys immediately responded to ABC News.

Of course they didn't, for requests. You know, that's the clamor right the fuck up. Oh, I got one brewing. I feel like I'm going to have triplets. Ow, ow, ow. It's subtle, but it's there, and I know it's going to get worse. It gives me an excuse not to go over there.

I'm going to go home and just unload. There's a plumber working. I'll ruin his day. No, no, no, no! Did I tell you all the time I got pulled over by a cop? I didn't do it on purpose. He's walking towards my car, and I blast one in the car. And it was like a fucking fire at a fucking sulfur factory.

I rolled the fucking window down, and he leaned like this, and he went, what is this? I'm like, I'm sorry. It's coming home from a gig in New Jersey. Oh! I'm like, this poor prick. Knocking on my window, I'm like, you don't. I was coming home from a gig in New Jersey. Oh! I'm like, this poor prick. Knocking on my window, I'm like, you don't want me to put this down.

In our FLA segment tonight, a Florida mother. Oh, boy. Anytime you hear Florida and mother, especially in the FLA segment, it ain't going to be good. We're not going to go. She was far with impeccably clean kids in a beautiful house, feeding them three squares and loving them dearly. A Florida mother hit up a nightclub.

Right away, the racist me being goes, black? Nick, that's not fair. Yeah, it is actually. Might be racist. I don't give a fuck. A Florida mother hit up a nightclub for over an hour.

No, I read more. It wasn't just because she went to a nightclub. I mean, here comes a part that made me question. For over an hour as her toddler, this is the key sentence, slept on a sidewalk. I'll repeat that. She's in a nightclub with a toddler,

her kid sleeping on a sidewalk, and her two other kids were home alone. Authority said. Shia Heidelberg. I would not have guessed by the name, right? Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. I was expecting and I got Flip Wilson in high school. Minga. That's Shia LaHydelberg. Oh, God, Shia. What are you doing? What's the matter with you?

What's the matter with you? Sorry, Jimmy. What's the matter with you? You fat fuck. She was arrested Saturday after one of her children, a three-year-old, ay-yi-yi, was discovered at 1 a.m.,

wrapped in a blanket while asleep on a sidewalk outside an apartment complex in Fort Walton Beach, according to the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office. I mean, you can only go back and keep blaming slavery for so fucking long. I mean, come on now. Responding deputies then found Heidelberg's two other young children asleep and alone in a unit

at the chocked off village apartments where security officers at the complex had initially spotted the three-year-old outside heidelberg was busted when she returned home admitted to investigators she had gone out to a nightclub about 90 minutes earlier and left her kids behind to fend for themselves. Those are her words. I think we have, here's her telling the cops that. I know what folks says about this family, I does. I has told you and told you that you can always tell a lady but the way that she eat in front of folks like a bird. And I ain't aiming for you to go to Mr. John Wilkinson's

and eat like a field hand and dabble like a hog. John Wilkinson's was eat like a field hand and gobble like a hog. John Wilkinson's was the nightclub. Great place. They have an open buffet. Heidelberg was charged with three counts of child neglect without great bodily harm. She was released from custody Sunday, jail record

show. She denied the allegations when reached for comment early Monday. Here's why you know she's crazy as a bat. It wasn't true, she said, after admitting to the officials that night. It wasn't true, she told the Post during a brief interview. I have proof that I wasn't in da club.

Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, you know it. Heidelberg said she has footage from her ring doorbell camera that proves, are we going to see this on Judge Judy? She didn't leave her children to go to the club as well as a few witnesses

who will vouch for her whereabouts. It's so stupid. It's so stupid. So fucking stupid. They found the guy that she was dancing with. They went to his apartment. He's a dance freak.

He was still dancing. Take a look. This is a guy that she was dancing with, you know, Dancing with the Stars. We're going to do Dancing with Flacka. Oh, my God. Folks, do dancing with Flacka. Oh, my God. Folks, Google people on Flacka. It is fucked. Did you see his devil-like face?

That was terrifying. And he wasn't dancing with the broad. That was me being so fucking creative. Yeah, just Google people on Flacka if you want to see. That is my worst nightmare. I mean, I smoked a joint and I fucking freaked out. Remember? Eight edibles. Finally tonight on Mama Luke.

Shane. I put Shane. We're going to do a quick pause. We have two stories left. We have time for them, too. We got ten minutes. We do have ten them, too. We got 10 minutes. We do have 10 minutes? Yeah, we got 10 minutes. Oh.

10 minutes will put us at 45 minutes? Oh. No, you're right. I'm looking. I have 155 written down, and it says 145. This is Christ. Hey, folks, good news. My producer pointed out.

We got time for a couple more. This is a shake, rattle, good news. My producer pointed out. We got time for a couple more. This is a shake, rattle, and die. But I wrote, and I'm blaming, I'm making fun of the people who write these. I put Shane rattle a die. Fucking retarded. I'm not good before 4 p.m. at anything. That's from being a comic my whole life.

This one hit my funny bone. Kind of sad, but I don't know. Some people deserve it. Not that he's a bad guy. By the way, that guy you're looking at right there is my age. Please tell me that's not what a girl sees when she looks at me. Especially my wife. A veteran snake

handler has died after he was bitten by a rattlesnake. Really? I thought he died on a minibike at a festival in South Texas where they still do silly shit like this. Relatives and officials said Eugene DeLeon Sr., who had wrangled snakes for more than 20 years, died at a hospital Saturday hours after he was bitten by a rattlesnake at the Rattlesnake Roundup in Freer Kill reported. Leon was bitten

in the shoulder. What the fuck? Why would you go for the shoulder? I'd do that with a girl but Here's Leon going What the fuck? Ow, ow, ow, ow, stop He was airlifted to a hospital in Corpus Christi.

Oh, well, he succumbed to his injuries. About eight hours after the incident, Frears police chief told the station, eight hours, you couldn't save him? What are you doing? I guarantee that hospital didn't have the fucking antidote, whatever. For Christ's sake, eight hours. Excuse me. Organizers at the snake show said De Leon was handling rattlesnakes in front

of revelers. I always wanted to know what a reveler was. Here he is making out with a fucking king cobra, lonely, pretending it's the head of a guy's cock. Rattlesnake in front of Rebler is what he was bitten. That'll scare the people watching. Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane! Plane as in planes, flat planes in the Midwest. The love and the dedication he displayed for his community

was witnessed every day from bring, look it, from bring a member of the Freer Volunteer Fire Department, instead of being a member is what they, right? Jesus H. Christ. To being a call away for local residents to assist with removing snakes from their property, the organization said. He always was ready to help.

I remember I was working with my grandfather, again, old school guinea, born in 1885 in Italy. So just picture, we're working in his garden, and I saw like a garden snake or whatever. It was a snake that had swallowed a mouse, and it was all the way, I mean you could see the shape of the mouse going down. So naturally my grandfather being the crazy guinea just with a fucking rake chopped the snake's head off and the mouse ran out.

What the fuck? It was still alive. That's when I picked up heroin in second grade. I was fucking traumatized. Bad enough seeing a mouse fucking eat a rat that my grandfather chopped. He didn't even blink. He's so fucking... He used to say to me and my brother, we were like fucking five years old, never be afraid

of something that's smaller than you. He would go up to a hornet. You know, you see a hornet or wasp? If you're going to kill it, you'd hit it. He would mash it so it would sting him, you know, to just show us. And he would kick. You guys, I know you love these stories. My grandparents had a dog named N.B. Black. Every night he would let the dog out, he'd kick it in the ass on the way out. And my father goes, Pa, why do you got to do that? He says to my father, show him who's the boss.

Just to give an idea why I'm fucked up. Anyways, Delon did it all, this snake handler, making out with an, uh, and Freer when it came to snakes, including regular appearances at the annual festival and spots on local wildfire shows.

Hey, interesting guy. DeLon's sister, Monica Demas, said her brother was a dope. Good luck to that fuck. No, said her brother gained his wings doing what he... That's what I'm... Oh, boy. He gained his wings. That's another way of saying he gonna.

Bye-bye. Gained his wings, huh? Got got a feel i don't know you're not you're you're a snake handler and an expert and you die from a snake bite you know me it's like being a dentist and dying of gum disease he had a passion for snake handling at the rattlesnake i used to have a passion for snake handling was in the men's room when I was in eighth grade. What? I was at a place called, a gay bar called the Rattlesnake Roundup. Almost anything is a good neighbor.

Demas wrote on Facebook early Sunday, after many years of handling these things, today was not your day with them. Sister's kind of funny. Rest in peace, she says. He's gone, and we couldn't do nothing about it. Today was not your day. Kind of an understatement.

Finally tonight, ladies and gentlemen, Queer's Grooming Garden State, a New Jersey media outlet. How many more stories? This is what I'm talking about when I say a culture revolution is underway. A New Jersey media outlet reported on the new sex education curriculum set to be installed in K-12 schools in this state, but did not investigate the group that designed it, naturally.

Advocates for Youth, so that's A-F-Y for the rest of the story, is a far-left organization that pushes gender fluidity, also abortion on demand, oh, bad day for them, transgenderism, and promiscuous relationships to young people. That's great. Well, baby, me so horny. Me so horny. You keep lying. Me love you.

Me so horny. Me love you. Me so horny. Can you imagine? Excuse me. And that's why, again, I don't say this much because I regret not having kids sometimes. But you got to admit, I might have picked a good time. I keep saying that like to be fucking in middle school. There'd be 64, these fucks. Anyways.

It's my age. Yeah, exactly. You'd be Dallas' age. For Christ's sake. He's got a beard like ZZ Top. And that would be my daughter. Good night, everybody. What, aunt? What? New Jersey's new curriculum is exposing, no pun intended,

the secretive group, which is just one of many progressive groups that seek to sway children away from traditional cultural ideas, see, cultural revenues, that families rely on to help manage their lives in the increasingly diverse United States. I was just thinking, China went through this, this cultural revolution, and it ended up the way they are, an authoritarian communist state, which kind of defeats the purpose. Or maybe that is the purpose. For example, the group opposes conservative attitudes towards sex,

such as the view that, when they say that, I picture Mitch McConnell getting a sad handjob from his fucking wife's cryptkeeper hands. Attitudes such as the view that children should be shielded from adults' sexual pressure. Who gives a fuck what you think? Look at that group of freaks. Look at that. You're teaching your kids.

See because we're fucked up, we want the world to be fucked up. Blue lipstick. You suck your daddy's cock with that mouth. Like many other left-wing groups, AFY is indoctrinating children with unscientific and medical risky claim that children can choose their gender regardless of their male or female bodies. What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. May God have mercy on your soul. The AFY curriculum for second graders, I repeat, for second graders,

includes the question, how do you know what gender you are? And there's never been a better time for a little kid to whip out his prick. And go, there it is, stupid. And has an outline for teachers which says, in part, this is what the instructions are given to the teacher, ask the kids, how do you know what your gender is? And a little kid, if it was my kid, would say, shut up, mind your fucking business and shut up.

And he'd be sent home. If a student says something like, I just know it, look, they already have, it's like when you're a salesman, they teach you objections. If the guy says he doesn't want the steaks, this is what he says. If a student says something like, I just know it or I feel that way on the inside, explain that knowing what gender you are is called gender identity. Put the sign that reads gender identity up or write the phrase on the board. Can I ask you people at home who have kids at this school, have you yanked them out today? Ask students to repeat it with you. Although, you know, it's New Jersey. They probably agree with it, the parents.

Ask students to repeat it with you. Point out that the word identity begins with an I. I'm getting a visual. You know what's funny? Because the influx of immigrants and shit. Every day, my sister-in-law's a teacher. She has kids from different countries every day in her class. They don't speak English.

Try explaining to some kid from El Salvador. He's just here to kill people. He doesn't want to. Begins with I. Say something like, identity starts with an I. That's how you can remember it. I feel. I know. Gender identity is

that feeling of knowing your gender. You might, Jesus Christ, see how they, in other words, be obsessed with your own sexuality like we are. You might feel like you are a boy. You might feel like you are a girl. You might feel like you're a boy boy even if you have body parts that some people might tell you are a girl parts you might feel like you're a girl even if you have body parts that some people might tell you are boy parts oh my god please give me a cup oh i'll give it to you and you might not feel like you're a boy or a girl but you're a little bit of both no matter how you feel you're perfectly normal the curriculum also includes a reading out loud lesson based on the LGBT-themed The Family Book,

which features children with two moms and two dads. The New Jersey website noted that the new sex standards will be in grades K through 12 in the fall. Just to give you guys an idea who is teaching what. This is an ask. You revealed it too quick. That's all right. Here's a librarian today.

She's a librarian at your kid's school. Sorry, I haven't made any content lately. Life happens so much. But I will say that one of the smartest things that I have done at the library so far is simply put a pride flag behind me with a picture of my girlfriend. I did the same thing that I did when I worked at Barnes & Noble, and I stuck tiny flags on the Valentine's display to indicate which books were LGBT. So the kids don't even have to ask about it. They can just grab them.

This job is truly the best. Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up? Okay, since anybody can do anything and identify as this and that, it'll be alright if I went to the school. I'm a dad of one of the kids and go, you know what? I'd like to see you and your girlfriend

locked up in a nice 69 tonight. I identify as an old creep. You're legal, right? You're 20-something? Seriously, I'd fucking stalk her, even though she's a witch. Well, this group doesn't give a shit if you're legal or not. Remember, promiscuous relationships with... Well, yeah, the rules don't apply to them, but to me, I'll be doing fucking life in Leavenworth. Why? I don't know. Let her yank me. Can't even let one of these girls blow you. Come home with black rings on you. Your wife said, what do you do? Stick your dick in a tailpipe of an infinity? Yes. What happened to my, again, I forgot some.

I must be, anyways. Check out, I don't know, we got another video. Oh, here's another one. Here's a broad that obviously wanted to be Elvis. This is so typical. This is, she's in Brooklyn. She's, again, works at a school. She's in Brooklyn bragging about how kids can get access

to books that are inappropriate for her. Look at Elvis here. The Brooklyn Public Library has a new initiative called Books Unbanned. They're allowing anyone 13 to 21 years old, regardless of where they live in the United States, to get a free Brooklyn Public Library card. That book gives you access to the library's full catalog of digital and audio books. And you can take out as many as you want as many times as you want. So if a book you want to read has been banned in your school

or your town's library, you can head on over to bklynlibrary.org and get your free library card. Again, again, somebody, nobody would, even a lesbian wouldn't want a fucker. Maybe if I put my hair like a young Elvis. Okay?

Do you see how excited they are about corrupting your kids? And you see? And if you, you know, told her she was a twat, you'd get arrested for a hate crime, whatever. I don't care. Do you love your kids? Take the chance. I'd slap the gay right out of the bra. Piece of fucking, see how excited they are? Ugh. I've had enough god damn it that is it ladies and gentlemen I believe holy shit is it ever

gave you a nice extra five don't forget to sign up to comicsgym.com or patreon.com as a monthly subscriber go to nickdip.com I'll see some of you's I hope this Friday night at Governor's in Long Island and if not the next night at the Param in Long Island, and if not, the next

night at the Paramount Theater in Peekskill this weekend in New York. Don't forget Cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or a relative. That is it. You guys think it. I will say it. You're very welcome. See you back here tomorrow, same time. Bye-bye. guitar solo Thanks for watching!