The Nick DiPaolo Show - Seahawks Defense Pounds Pats | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1852

Episode Date: February 9, 2026

In this episode, Nick talks about Seattle Wins Super Bowl, Bad Bunny Bad, Kid Rock Rocks, ICE Ad, Guthrie Investigation Not Going Well, Family Fallout, Racist Olympics and Soup Of The Day! The FULL SH...OW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

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Starting point is 00:01:41 How are you, folks? Welcome to the live lineup where you get all these shows for free. All these handsome fellas, very white, very male, very unusual, not like the Super Bowl, you know what I'm saying? Okay, you get all those. And if you want to watch this stuff ad free, you sign up for Rumble Premium. And today I will be talking about, I'm doing this. by memory because I let the thing roll by. Took one ambient last night.
Starting point is 00:02:17 Fucking couldn't recognize my car on the driveway this morning. I was trying to get into some neighbor's car. And fucking stop. It's great. I feel a little rested today, but I don't know what it does long term. Men you fucking responded. Yeah. So I'll be talking about all kinds of horseshit.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Of course, I'll touch on the Super Bowl. That should be quick. and all the cultural shit that comes with the Super Bowl. Normally I wouldn't even... But that's the more... When it comes to... That makes the news. All the stuff surrounding the Super Bowl.
Starting point is 00:02:51 And that's because, I don't know, somewhere along the line in our 60 Super Bowl's, Hollywood decided they had to stick their filthy beaks in and turn it into a fucking, you know, Burning Man concert, whatever the fuck you want to call it. And, you know? And it drives me nuts because you hear athletes in these young athletes,
Starting point is 00:03:10 I mean, Terrell Owens was saying this when he's with the 49ers. We're entertainers. No, you're not. You're not. I'll say this again. You're not. You're fucking pro athletes. And by the way, that's way harder than being an actor or a fucking singer or whatever the fuck.
Starting point is 00:03:26 Way harder. I've done both and I've failed to both. Now, let me tell you something. But people think, and I think this is pretty brilliant because I said this and Breitbart put it on his thing. He had a guy writing for something to do with Hollywood. And I said, just because somebody finds what you're doing for living entertaining doesn't make you an entertainer. Like there are people who like to watch child porn. Are the guys fucking those kids entertainers?
Starting point is 00:03:56 I thought it was a pretty good point. I brought it up on Meet the Press and somebody threw a phone at my head. I think it was Anthony Wiener. Do you know what I'm saying? So, yeah, the whole halftime show just, what's it, an hour long? And I noticed there wasn't that much buildup this year of the Super Bowl. Maybe I just wasn't paying attention. But it seems like in years past, like two weeks before the Super Bowl, you couldn't, you know.
Starting point is 00:04:29 And then the week of, every day you put on TV, there'd be, I went to ESPN. Because the world changing. I went to ESPN on the day of the Super Bowl, just out of curiosity to see. And I put it on Twitter, I go to the home page. It's a picture of LeBron James talking with a coach. And then the first three stories about the NBA, college hoops, and then the third one down was a Super Bowl. On Super Bowl Sunday, you know, the worldwide leader in sports, ESPN, worldwide leader
Starting point is 00:05:02 and woke horse shit that's going the way of the Dodo Bird. Might as well get right into it. I'm talking about it now. let's just sum up all the entertainment and all the shit could you have a more anti-white anti-American first you get bad bunny we all know is coming Puerto rican not one word of english during an event on TV that literally will get the highest ratings of the year in America all over the place but and not one word of English so that's a slap in the face number two, they had to break up the black national anthem
Starting point is 00:05:46 again. I don't even know if they televised that part or not. If they did, I would have walked out of the fucking Rome. Even black people don't like that, by the way. You know, the ones that have some white in them can get it. Oh, Nick, that's terrible. Oh, fuck off. Do you know what I'm saying? No, there are a lot of black people. You know, I guarantee it. I don't even know Jason Whitlott's take. I guarantee it's the same of mine. There's one nation, one flag.
Starting point is 00:06:11 Oh my God, what the fuck? I don't know. I think the Jews are involved with that angle. You don't hear much of this on the today show, Good Morning. Somebody wants us to pity them for the rest of their lives. Other than that, it's a third party doing it. It's really why I think, like, the Candace Owens and the,
Starting point is 00:06:35 who's my boy? Tucker Carlson and a few others have a beef with the... It has something. I know it has a lot to do with... foreign policy and them having too much sway over our country and banking and all that. But it's got a lot to do with culture, too, I think. At least, I don't know. I could be wrong.
Starting point is 00:06:54 So what? I'm not the first one of blame the Jews for something that wasn't their fault. So you had that, right? So you had the Black National Anthem. You had Puerto Rican, all Spanish halftime show. You had Green Day. My fantasy, again, used to sleep with, my fantasy used to sleep with, you know, whoever, Pam Anderson. Now it's to run into a couple of guys from Green Day at the mall and just get a running start.
Starting point is 00:07:22 I picture them. I've thought this out. They're walking by like the baby gap. I see them from the side. I get about a 50-yard run, especially the blonde kid that sings, and hit him from the side. And he goes right through that glass. And he lands on the ground, covered of blood, and little baby bonnet lands on his head. That's right.
Starting point is 00:07:43 That's my fantasy. they have become what they used to hate. They are the establishment. That's how stupid they are. They don't even realize it. They are the establishment. All that woke, PC, anti-American shit, that is the culture.
Starting point is 00:07:59 They're not anti-culture. They're as safe as you can get. That's why they had them there. And they're saying, fuck America in the song. People upset because NBC had to bleep the fuck. They're not upset that they were saying fuck America in the first place.
Starting point is 00:08:14 You pick up on any of this, folks. Probably not. You got a life, but what am I going to talk about when I show up here on Monday? Oh! No, for nothing, T. What the fuck is that? So, yeah, what else did you have? You had your bad bunny, you had those douchebags of Black National Anthem. I guess there was a commercial, a pro commercial for ICE. But in what I read, maybe I read it wrong.
Starting point is 00:08:38 It said some of the country saw this commercial. I don't know if that's true or for everybody's sorry. You can let me know, call 1-800. I don't have a phone. phone. But there was a pro, we'll show that. We got that. I forget how to do the show. But let me get back to the Super Bowl. Seattle Savers a second Super Bowl. Oh, by the way, I made the Chinese ribs, Alice. Yeah. I couldn't find that. I was going to do the chili, but the brisket, I couldn't find. There was only a couple left and they didn't, you know, they looked like human ribs. So I stayed away from it. My wife doesn't like you and me.
Starting point is 00:09:19 Anyway, so yeah, I did with the Chinese ribs. Have we done that one? No, no. The Korean wings we did. But the Chinese ribs, you guys will kill me. If I do this for you guys, when we do another one, if we ever do another one, you're going to kill me for holding this one back on you. It's better than any Chinese ribs you ever in a restaurant.
Starting point is 00:09:41 Looks just like them, too. That's right. I put red dye number nine in there. I ain't no pussy. 63, I've been eating that shit my whole life. They were so... In the crock park, folks. Four to six hours.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Fucking fell apart again, like a cancer patient that has meat falling off the bone. And then I made a Chinese cabbage dish that I stumbled over on YouTube. You close your eyes, it's... I'm making this all the time. It's fucking... It was just... You know, shredded cabbage.
Starting point is 00:10:22 Like in shredded carrots and onion basically. And you know what? A little oyster sauce, a little soy sauce. Whatever, some type of jizz. Oh, my God. It's just a stir fry. All that shit shrinks down. I threw mushrooms in it.
Starting point is 00:10:42 Phenomenal. And you can make that. I stumble over it. It's funny. Chinese guy doing the voiceover on YouTube. Take head of cabbage. He goes, cut with the left hand. It says you're going to use your left hand.
Starting point is 00:10:55 Who are they busting our balls? They're probably busting us balls even in cooking things. It was very funny. Anyways, yeah, that was my meal. And, of course, my white rice, which I like duck sauce. For the second time in franchise history, the Seattle Seahawks are Super Bowl champions. Yay for them.
Starting point is 00:11:16 As was the case 12 years ago when the Seahawks won their first Super Bowl, Sunday's 29 to 13 win over the New England, was the result of a dominant defense performance with the Seahawks keeping New England off the scoreboard for the first three quarters before they finally found the end zone already trailing by three scores. The Seahawks sacked Drake May six times. Yes, they have a fierce defense, no doubt about it. And they had three takeaways, including a 45-yard Uchena, Norses. pick six, which was made possible by a hit on Drake made by Devin Witherspoon that was originally credited as a sack slash force fumble before being changed to an interception because it popped
Starting point is 00:12:05 right in his hands. Wait a minute. How the fuck's that an interception? He didn't throw it forward, right? Kind of popped up. Whatever. Good for you. Does it matter? Another takeaway, a Derek Hall for sack and fumble set up Seattle's lone offensive touch. Patriots defense did their job, folks. They did their fucking jobs. By the fourth quarter, you're like, they're going to get warned. Do you understand? I mean, I played enough football like in high school and college to know, especially in high school when I was playing both ways.
Starting point is 00:12:35 Your offense ain't getting it done, you know, three and out, and I'd have to fucking play defense, and I'm still winded from playing offense. You know what I mean? So, and the pros, obviously, you know, lot and most people don't play both ways. But you go over to the bench, you sit out for three seconds. you put your oxygen mask on. They're like, get back out. So they did, they did, you know,
Starting point is 00:12:56 their defense did the job. You can't blame them. Jason Myers kicked a Super Bowl record. Nobody even brings this poor guy up. You know what I mean? People take the ship for granted. They weren't, he had a 57 yard, but the rest of them were pretty easy.
Starting point is 00:13:08 Five field goals. That's two touchdowns plus to help the Seahawks stay in control. Even when the offense wasn't finding the end zone, I was sitting there with my wife going, if you're not a Pat's fan or Seahawks fan, the rest of the country's going, this game sucks, but no fucking scoring. I like, what was it,
Starting point is 00:13:26 six nothing at a half time? Yeah, so I was like, this is going to be great because every play is huge when it's that close, but Seattle wore them down, and they're clearly a better team. Seattle Seahawks running back,
Starting point is 00:13:39 Kenneth Walker, the third, not the second, not the first, not the embryo that had 1100 yards at Dakeham High School and rushed for 135 yards and 27 carries. I thought he had more than that, actually, earning MVP honors. He also added 26 receiving yards for a total of 161.
Starting point is 00:13:59 He was the best guy around. The win caps one of the greatest seasons in franchise history with the Seahawks going 14 and 3. Okay, Patriots actually had to won more games. Maybe it's tie now, but they beat us. In the regular season to win the NFC West and earn the NFC's top seed before beating the 49ers in Rams and let's make this clear
Starting point is 00:14:22 if we're going to do that. 49ers will beat up the shit. Doesn't matter though. Everybody has injuries, but the four, remember they were decimated. And Rams and the playoffs to reach the Super Bowl. Sam Arnold was so excited.
Starting point is 00:14:34 You don't see white guys do this much after they win. They get excited. I didn't know he had this in him. Is that crazy? Isn't that crazy? And surprisingly, you know who's singing in Cooper Cup? Some wild stuff, Ed.
Starting point is 00:15:09 What were those other Rodney jokes, Dallas? Fuck, there were a couple hadn't heard of. What's the one you repeated to me? The Hollywood tour. I get to L.A. See, I want to take a tour of the... The Hollywood buses that show you all the... They took me in a tour where all the extras live.
Starting point is 00:15:27 God damn it There's some other good ones in there Anyhow any heat Well Patriots Let's just to wrap it up Like I said I'm at the age where really Hey
Starting point is 00:15:42 We've had our fill And I'm not being a you know Sour grapes I'm just saying at my age You're like okay Nobody expect them to be there By the way They set a record
Starting point is 00:15:53 Going from four losses To the Super Bowl Nobody's done that before Which nobody I thought it would be a good 10, 12 years before they even get a competitive again. But they spent a ton of money, if I could spit this fucking cock out of my mouth.
Starting point is 00:16:09 A ton of money. And you know what? They fucking, I'll tell you who disappointed the hell out of me, Diggs. Where was he yesterday? They had him covered, I guess, like a blanket. Then he's fucking mouthing off. And then they said him and Cardi B might have split. Right after the game,
Starting point is 00:16:28 they were fighting. What a horrible day. I thought he was going to, we needed him, you know. And the two rookies and the offensive line got, the poor Campbell guy got smoked. Did you see some of those defensive linemen for Seattle? Mother of God. Fast, huge.
Starting point is 00:16:47 Fast as shit. Alabama guys that were playing a couple of, that's why I love college. And Dallas loves college football. You watch these guys when they're 19. It's insane. you're like, oh, we'll see him next year. And they step right in and they play like there's no, right?
Starting point is 00:17:04 And I had one more take on the Super Bowl. Yeah, so the pets, they get a bright future. I don't give a shit. If they draft right, like they did when the Belichick was here, what am I forgetting? I had a main point about the Super Bowl. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:17:22 It'll come to me. Boys and girls, you want to support this show. Go to Nick Dip.com. We have a merchandise page. something we only have. No other podcasts have margin, or comedians. Nobody has this type of shit. This is exclusive. I'm selling David Tell hats, Robert Klein hoodies, and Robin Williams' boots. It's terrific shit. Hats, and it's good stuff. Like I said, I tell my wife, this is the material guys like for t-shirts. Not the shit that turns into cardboard after you wash it. You look like the tin man. So, and by the way, I wear that, Nick, the
Starting point is 00:17:59 Paul T-shirt to bed with nothing on under it. My wife goes crazy. Yeah. I make her laugh. I reach like I'm closing the curtains of my ass shows. Like Donald Sutherland did. Remember it? And fucking Animal House? When he's banged that young girl?
Starting point is 00:18:17 He was like 55 that. Boy, you know, they had the fucking wrinkled old white ass. Jesus, that may be laugh. Anyways, nickdip.com. Buy some chit. Okay? No bad buddy fuck. Oh. Also want to send there, if you want to send a personalized video to somebody with me, you know, give them a little ribbing or saying, you know, congratulations on the Super Bowl, you left-wing cock sucker.
Starting point is 00:18:44 Stuff like that. You know, I'll say what you're thinking so you don't have to, you don't get in trouble. Go to shoutout.us. Shoutout.us. Let's stay on the Trump. Let's mix a little politics. that it supports. Trump says bad bunny, really bad bunny. I love when Trump weighs in on shit like this.
Starting point is 00:19:06 For a guy who dances like this, I want his opinion on music. But he's right on the money again. I'm sorry. Trump slammed the Super Bowl 60 halftime show. Headlined by PR rapper, Bad Bunny. One of the worst. It's the worst I ever seen. Terrible. I still can't do him.
Starting point is 00:19:25 Jesus Christ. Bring in somebody I can do. One of the worst ever. and an affront to the greatness of America, which at the beginning of the show, I touched on it, and you can make that argument very much so. Do you feel like it's, I mean, is this rift that's never going to close? I mean, the wokeness thing is, it's in high gear.
Starting point is 00:19:44 It's just a cancer that they stuffed into our DNA, and it still exists. And here is a bunch of Puerto Rican stealing a truck out of the parking lot. Look at that, and that's Bad Bunny, leading them all. The Super Bowl halftime show is absolutely terrible. this is Trump on truth social. One of the worst ever. It makes no sense. Well, yeah, because it was all in Spanish.
Starting point is 00:20:10 And yes, I know there's a lot of people who speak Spanish. Nobody really ever explained that to me. You got a million different ethnicities. The Italians came over to Germans, the Polo, even the Polacks. And we all learned English. Hispanics, what the fuck's your problem? Are you that fucking retired? I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:20:29 I know a lot of very smart. Puerto Ricans. They're all dead now. What? No, I'm just saying. And somebody said to me, well, it's because they all came so fast at once. Oh, really? Is that what you're going with? Suck a dick. It makes no sense. Is it an affront to the greatness of America and doesn't represent our standards of success, creativity, or excellence? Trump wrote in a lengthy true social post minutes after the show concluded Sunday night. His complaints hinge on bad bunnies, discards. disc I want to say discography but it's disco-grapi huh discography which is exclusively in Spanish and the choreography
Starting point is 00:21:12 all right choreography that he called disgusting I fucking love I don't even know what this video was up though still you oh let's see it let's put on that I was trying to figure out the theme. He's at a bodega and a cornfield in Nebraska. I don't know what the fuck's going on. He's shoplifting. That made sense. Did you know one of these couples?
Starting point is 00:21:50 There was a couple of these. They said one of them, a guy really, like he didn't do it in rehearsal? Nobody understands where this guy, Trump's still going on. like fucking Rex Reed. Nobody understands where this guy is saying, well, that's not true either. A lot of Spanish people do.
Starting point is 00:22:14 And the dancing is disgusting. It's dirty dancing, Mr. President. A lot of your dancing is not the bad, especially for young children that are watching from throughout the USA. Yeah, that was Lady Gaga, right? We were trying to, I couldn't think she was blonde in her eye, you know,
Starting point is 00:22:35 and all over the, world. This show is just a slap in the face to our country, he said, you know. That's a slap. Not this. Bad. And he's got a point. Like I said, you can't find the more anti-American band than Green Day. And they're past their prime.
Starting point is 00:23:01 They suck when they were good. So shut up. I fucking hate that. Oof. I like to take that band. Mark Rufelo, you know me? Adam Swalwell, Neil Young, and just brought them alive in front of their children.
Starting point is 00:23:26 What? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Just throw them in a fucking meat grinder. To stay on the entertainment of the Super Bowl, kid rock, rocks. Huge success. Millions tuned into Turning Point USA's All-American Half-Time Show.
Starting point is 00:23:43 headline by Kid Rock, who I'd like to meet. You know damn well he'd like me, and he probably knows me. He did the roast in Comedy Central. He did the, we roast, we had the George W. Bush impersonator, who was so fucking good. The guy's dead now, by the way. Dyes, a few years after all that success. Kid Rock opened with a sweet home Alabama mix,
Starting point is 00:24:07 like kind of a hip-hop version. He had Bear Bryant's hat on. It was fucking tremendous. Anyways, he shot up Bud Light cans. Who's not going to like this guy? He loves guns and beer. He's a fucking American, and he made it. Anyways, a halftime show,
Starting point is 00:24:22 headlined by Kid Rock, and held in honors of its slain father, Charlie Kirk, which was streamed as a rival to the official Super Bowl halftime show featuring Spanish-speaking singer Chooch Bunny, the conservative non-profits,
Starting point is 00:24:36 hour-long spectacle, which started minutes before the Super Bowl 60 halftime show, was backed by the Trump administration, and scores of conservative hubs that cross-aired the performance. And it was huge. I don't know, five to ten million on YouTube is what I was reading. Here's a little clip of what you missed if you're watching Bad Chooch.
Starting point is 00:25:17 I'm sorry, that was me at my wedding a few years ago. I'll tell you, folks, I get down and dirt. Love the fucking kidster. T.P. USA. Remember, that's Turning Point U.S. Charlie Kirk's organization. scrambled to organize a rival. I still can't believe he's gone.
Starting point is 00:25:34 It really is a... Half-time concert in October after Bad Bunny remarked that anyone peeped by his selection as Super Bowl headline had four months to learn Spanish and understand his music. And that's what Kid Rock said.
Starting point is 00:25:48 Oh, yeah? Fucking steal your heat right now, bitch. The alternative show was a celebration of the USA with lyrics honoring blue-collar workers and the red, white, and blue as well as a tribute to the Klan. I, what?
Starting point is 00:26:04 Oh, I read that wrong, to late Kirk. This one's for you, Charlie, Jack Pasebik said, at TPSA host as they started the show. Country musicians Kid Rock, Brantley Gilbert, Lee Bryce and Gabby Barrett, all I've heard of who I've heard of and never heard a song with, I'm trying to like it. I don't dislike it.
Starting point is 00:26:25 It's weird with me. I mean, I'll put Tennessee whiskey up against Any song I love. It's pretty easy to play on the guitar, though. I'll bring it in. I'll sing it for you. You want to see the numbers going on on this show? All performed at the show, flanked by T.P. USA's signature pyrotechnics.
Starting point is 00:26:45 Good thing that band wasn't there, Great White. More than 5 million viewers turned into T.P. USA's YouTube live stream at one point during the performance. Kid Rock opened with a rousing rendition of American. the beautiful. On an electric guitar, I wish I saw that. This bud's for you. That's fucking beautiful.
Starting point is 00:27:11 I'm all over the place. Alice is like, that's not where that goes. What's the fuck are you doing? What's the matter with you? What's the matter with you? That's my... I guess there was an ICE ad. Again, from the article I read, I couldn't tell if everybody saw it or parts of the country saw it.
Starting point is 00:27:30 It's a Super Bowl commercial. and it said not all the company got to see. I don't know if that's true or not. I should have looked into it, but this isn't TV. What the fuck? Get off my back, will you? But here's the ad. A pro-ice ad.
Starting point is 00:27:45 Their friends and neighbors, sons, fathers, their little league coaches and veterans. They're people who love this country. These are immigration and customs enforcement officers. They are removing violent criminals from our streets and neighborhoods. It's dangerous and difficult work. But ICE has one mission to make America a safer place to live. And that's what they're doing.
Starting point is 00:28:11 This is law enforcement. This is ICE. Yeah, that should be run on a loop, not just five minutes on Super Bowl, two minutes in Super Bowl. That should be run on a loop every day. Trump should pass an executive order making every network, news network. That way, ESP, I mean. and, yeah, ESPN, might as well. CNN, MSNBC, all those shitholds
Starting point is 00:28:35 should have to run this before our show starts and after. That's the message that nobody, when the left's out there going, they're kidnapping fucking, they're Nazis and Gestapo. Well, watch this and tell me what part of this is false. Nobody, I don't see anybody going, I guess, I don't see every interview.
Starting point is 00:28:58 I'm guessing J.D. Vance or Rubio would go, You're four rapists on your streets. And I keep hearing, just grabbing American citizens. Can you show us some? Can you name one? Seriously, can you name one? And if they did, wouldn't that person be on MSNBC, two minutes after it happened or CNN,
Starting point is 00:29:21 you're full of shit. And unfortunately, half the country's retarded. They have to vote's Democrat. Retarded. And the shit, again, the legit, the stuff on TikTok, or X, I should say X, the fucking, I know, I know the algorithm. They got it set to troll me.
Starting point is 00:29:41 I don't even believe these. I believe there are a ton of them of bots. Because they're saying shit that's so over the top, there's one woman to you go on. You mega people, you don't even, it's sad. You don't even how to critically think. Oh, my God. They know right way to hit you.
Starting point is 00:30:00 You know? Oh, God. get breast cancer. Dallas went, yum. Yum, yum. Delicious. Okay, let's change it up to the other big story in the nation. Guthrie investigators tanking.
Starting point is 00:30:19 What? The search for Savannah Guthrie's mom has taken a dark turn. As investigators are looking in the Detroit Atlanta area. No, are filmed searching a septic tank. I had a septic tank. Something to brag about. I had that kind of money. I had that kind of money.
Starting point is 00:30:42 Well, it wasn't a septic tank. I used to shit in a coffee can behind a house, and I saved it for years. No, when we lived in Westchester County and I had the big, beautiful house in the woods, the front, and this house was built in 1934, the septic tank was in the front yard, under my front lock.
Starting point is 00:31:06 Insane. And every once in a while, there'd be a clogger, backup, nothing like seeing your own shit flying up in your tub. I remember, and I still remember, this is one of my favorite memories. It's, this is like in the middle of January, it's about 10 degrees out, and it's nighttime. And my front lawn has a good foot and a half of ice and snow on it. And they sent some poor bastard out with a big truck.
Starting point is 00:31:36 First of all, getting down on my street, how he didn't tip it over is beyond me, and how he's going to get back up. this guy shows up I'm looking out the window going look at this poor bastard he thinks he's going to unclog because we had a clog because we had a clog somewhere in the line my wife would take these masses dumps she just god if she hears that I'm dead uh it's a joke everybody I do I do little rabbit pellets I eat very small so the guy's out there and I'm looking out the window going and my wife in Jesus Christ he's there's no way he's going to
Starting point is 00:32:11 first of all he has to find where the septic tank is there's a little opening under the snow and and so i point i went out there i go i walked off i had a good memory because i used to cut uh and he starts digging and i'm out there with him i felt so bad that i stood out there with him you know and and he's got a light and uh sure enough he finds the frucking takes the fucking lid off then he gets this they call it a snake but this one's made of metal you know what I mean it's on a big spool and I'm like
Starting point is 00:32:49 first of all you have to have you have to be a positive person do you know what I'm saying again I was voted class pessimist in high school literally they made a superlative of me I call it realist they called it you know and I'm like
Starting point is 00:33:04 there's no way he's gonna we don't know where the clog is it's somewhere between the front lawn and my tub on the first floor which is about 30 yards that way. And he's feeding this fucking thing in. His hands bleeding and it's like 10 degrees. You know what I mean? And he keeps feeding it.
Starting point is 00:33:22 He's like, oh, no, no. And I'm talking to him. What was I talking about religion, I think? He sounded like kind of like a religious guy, you know? And buba. And in my head, I'm going, dude, you're wasting you. All of a sudden, all of a sudden you can hear fucking large gurgling. and just comes pouring into the fucking septic tank.
Starting point is 00:33:47 And I just, you got to love guys like that. You know what I mean? Those are the people, you know, those are working class guys who listen to, you know, if they ever heard two minutes of MSNBC, they're like, what the fuck? This guy did something, solved something under unbelievable circumstance. You know, he was out there for over an hour before the thing cut loose. You know what I mean? I was like in shock that he, you know,
Starting point is 00:34:13 and that's my septic tank story. I did have a good joke about it, though. I used to look into my septic tank because they come once every couple months to empty it with a truck, you know, which is when it's summertime, it's two seconds. But I had a bit about, I was staring into it into the septic tank. And I go, I told Colin Quinn I was going to write a one-man show
Starting point is 00:34:40 based on what's in my septic tank. You know what I mean? Oh, look at all the past Thanksgiving. Is my wife on the rag? A couple weeks of getting that fight. Is that, is that lasagna that didn't go well? All this crap. I know.
Starting point is 00:35:00 I got nothing else, Dells. I can't remember. But, yes, I'm looking at it. All the good times, all the bad times. Hey, my wedding rings in there. Anyhow. So they're looking in the septic tank. Did we show?
Starting point is 00:35:20 Not yet. Here's the story from our own remote reporter, Chad, fuck pillow. Exactly one week after Nancy Guthrie was first reported missing, Pima County Sheriff's Deputies and their investigators were back out at Nancy's home, this time searching in the area behind her home. We saw investigators take a long pole and appear to search what may have been a septic tank. Investigators staying at the property for a little less than an hour searching, but eventually leaving empty-handed.
Starting point is 00:35:49 Well, better than leaving with a handful of shit. shit. That ain't a good sign. I don't, I'm trying to guess what they would, what, DNA of some sort, a body. Oh, Jesus. Maybe I am a positive person. I didn't think of that. What in God's name. What an interesting. Remember first, ah, kidnapping, then that's not a kidnap. This is a crime scene. Now they find blood. Wait a minute. Now there's a, they took the light off that there's a busted floodlight. Then the two ransom notes. It comes just 24 hours after the officers
Starting point is 00:36:36 last seen at the property where they removed a car from the garage and took a camera off the roof that appeared to have been missed in previous searches. Meanwhile, investigators also went back to her daughter, Annie's home Friday night. Officers arrived in an unmarked
Starting point is 00:36:56 vehicle and stayed for around two hours during which time camera flashes were seen in the garage and other parts of the house. Wait a minute, whose house did it? Annie? Which is the, okay. One of they taking pictures? This weekend they were, again, I don't know if they've clad the son-in-law, because the daughter and son-in-law are the last to see her. They had dinner with her Sunday night or whatever. This weekend, they received another ransom note asking for six million in Bitcoin currency, the family answered saying they will get the money, just let our mom go so we can celebrate with her. And I read that the same way some detective did on TV. I went, you can read that two ways.
Starting point is 00:37:41 We can celebrate with her because she's home or they know she's dead and celebrate her life. That's, you know, or they hate it on the celebrate that she's dead. No, it's, I wouldn't say that. What a horrible story. And what's her name? Miss Guthrie your journalist was supposed to cover the Olympics. Anybody watching the Olympics? I haven't even caught. And the Winter Olympics, I always bet them up the Olympics, but they are the way better, in my opinion. And my favorite thing to watch
Starting point is 00:38:16 as much as any sport, downhill skiing, they're doing almost 90 miles per hour on wooden sticks out of this wide. you understand you're this close to catastrophe it's fucking insane Lindsey Vaughn used to bang Tiger Woods real piece of ass she wiped out and does
Starting point is 00:38:40 didn't that happen the Alaska Olympics or my I know she just came back from a serious injury a few years ago she fucking wiped out I guess and they took her off blew her knee out again or whatever I think that's it for her
Starting point is 00:38:54 she'll probably do you know what, only fans. Fingers crossed. Anyways, let's move on to the destruction of nuclear family fallout. I thought this was an interesting study. One study from
Starting point is 00:39:12 Cornell University found that more than a quarter of Americans, roughly 67 million people, report being estranged from a family member. One of those is Laura Wellington in Connecticut, known on social media as doormant mom.
Starting point is 00:39:30 Of course, her daughter has a nickname, Cunty Karen. While researchers shown that many estrangements are gradual, Wellington described hers as a sudden and unexpected. After initially being involved in her daughter's wedding plans, she was abruptly told she would not be invited to a
Starting point is 00:39:51 and I know a few family friends who have had this happen in their family. It's fucking mind-boggling, but it happens when Wellington had a beef, Beef Wellington. That's why you guys pay good money for this show. That was some type of genius. Why do women turn into men when they get older? When Wellington pushed back, both her daughter and her daughter's fiance blocked her from all contact in 2024. I was literally just completely blindsided with this, she said. the pain of being cut off, it's a pain you can't describe unless,
Starting point is 00:40:35 you can't describe it unless you're a parent or that, you know, or you fall off the platform crushing grapes. Why is that so funny? Oh my God, you should see it, you'll shut your pants. The widowed mother of four took to TikTok to share her experience. I just said what was on my mind, and I didn't mention my daughter specifically, she said. I just came out with a very heavy hand and said,
Starting point is 00:41:08 something to the effect of were you a really good parent and you raised an ungrateful little shit is what she said here she is talking about it is and it's when I watch those crime shows uh you know
Starting point is 00:41:23 American monster evil in the house whatever whatever they're called I always feel the worst for the moms whose 14 year old daughter left the house never came home and of course it's painful of dad too but I mean
Starting point is 00:41:38 Oh, anyways, here she is talking about her daughter and her fiance. The daughter's going to get in trouble for this one, but I got to say it. Millennials, Gen Z, and Gen Alpha. You don't get to mistreat, abuse, or dress down per se, your parents, ever. Ever. Unless. I mean, never. For no reason whatsoever.
Starting point is 00:42:07 Like none. You think about all the reasons you're concocting in your head right now. None of those. Never. Good parents don't deserve it. Your barber does. Well, by emulating their behavior, you're only condoning it. And why would you ever want to do that?
Starting point is 00:42:27 Isn't the goal of every new generation to do better? Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut!
Starting point is 00:42:33 Go ahead. I'm sorry, Mom. If you don't agree, you're probably going to end up on the other side of a very, very long love you from a distance relationship. While parents go on to figure out how to reach for future happiness on everything and anything that has nothing to do with you. All right, enough. That's enough, Mom.
Starting point is 00:43:00 I agree with your bigger point, but Jesus, when you're publishing this book, beef Wellington was flooded by responses. That's it. She should call her book. She should write a book about being an estranged to her daughter and call it Beep Wellington. Jesus Christ, you don't get comedy like that anyway. Thank God.
Starting point is 00:43:21 Wellington was flooded by responses from parents. She said, not only in the U.S., but also in Germany, the U.K., Australia, and other countries. They wanted to share their feelings to share the impact they needed to support. Really, let me tell you something. You don't think colleges have most mostly to do with this?
Starting point is 00:43:40 You don't think when you send your little girl off from high school to college and she comes back 10 months later with a nose ring purple hair and telling her dad he's an asshole and part of the patriarch and the mother was just a fucking housewife who did. You don't think that has anything to do with it?
Starting point is 00:43:56 You lesbians. Estrangement is becoming a more normalized way to address family tensions. Yeah, that's just ballless. Instead of being, it's a sign of immaturity. Instead of sitting down and talking it, let's just cut her up like we don't even know her. And you wonder where the boyfriend or the fiance is at all this too.
Starting point is 00:44:15 Anyways, normal way to address family tensions. Even in cases where there is no abuse or neglect, she blames several factors that drive division, including political and cultural differences, exactly. And where do those emanate from, those differences? Where I just told you. And societal narratives that are, that destroy family. And that's what they count on.
Starting point is 00:44:39 That's what the professors count on. It's called Marxism. Attack the nuclear family. How do you do that? Well, make, like, I don't know, make the trans thing an issue and say you can mutilate kids and it's fine. Here's one way you're doing it. Promote gay shit, gay pride every three weeks.
Starting point is 00:44:59 You know, all that shit that's not part of the nuclear family. Yeah. That's your world. I just live in it. That's most dead. at this point. There's a lack of foundation and traditional family values, loss of faith, loss of grounded
Starting point is 00:45:13 principles, and the education that's happening in our country, Wellington said. The way these things are being skewed today, cutting off your parent is the first go-to, not the last. And I'll start with the generation friggin, generation
Starting point is 00:45:28 Vietnam, those hippie fucks grab them by their balls or maybe even their parents, because they were spawned from somewhere. Right? That's where the cancer, I think, started. Hey, maybe it was before then, but I wasn't around. So kiss my grit. Sorry for the strong language. Anyways. There are white niggers. I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time. Don't use that type of talk. As Olivia from the soprano said the grandmother, I'm the only one that doesn't talk like that in this family. then she tells her fucking 10-year-old nephew,
Starting point is 00:46:10 why do you think you're so special? Life's a big nothing. In our reverse the races segment tonight, Associated Press, that would be the AP, folks. And if you don't follow this stuff, they're very liberal. Associated Press is as liberal as it gets. And they write almost every article you read, accuse several European nations
Starting point is 00:46:33 competing in the Winter Olympics of having a lack of diverse on their teams claiming they are overwhelmingly get this it's really gross white shut up mind your fucking business and shut up here's what's scary about it number one that they bought into that shit that PC shit that's been going on forever not only that it they bought into it they raised kids preach to them and now it's passeh Trump's coming you guys got you just got smoked in an election like and it's because a shit like this.
Starting point is 00:47:12 And I'm reading these things now going, no, woke isn't dead. It's coming back stronger than having all the shit. Well, good luck. Because that's where the fucking guns go off. You really think we're going to go back to fucking whitey, stupid and evil and race it? You really think that's going to go back to DEI shit? You really think that could happen?
Starting point is 00:47:28 I don't. And if it does, I'm glad I'm 64. Nice meeting you. In an article from the AP, the outlet highlighted how immigration from Africa in the Middle East has transformed the demographics of Europe in recent decades. I like how they make it sound like it's all legal and they go through.
Starting point is 00:47:47 Here's my, I'm from here. I want to take the test. No, it's boats fill a fucking psychos, not all of them, but a lot of them. Just coming in, we've seen footage. People on a beach in Europe, but all of a fucking 60-foot canoe pulls up. With the Lakers and a Mavericks and a raptors,
Starting point is 00:48:08 they all come running on the beach. and there's guys from the NBA draft writing their names. The outlet also noted that while the United States was sending one of its most diversity, nobody cares. You sound so silly. You sound so silly.
Starting point is 00:48:28 The fact that, and they call themselves progressives. Oh, did you guys not, I guess he didn't do what they call an autopsy after the last election? One of its most diverse teams, the team rosters for, countries such as France, Germany, and Switzerland look a lot like Sweden's. Yeah, because they're predominantly white countries, notwithstanding the scum that's pouring in,
Starting point is 00:48:57 overwhelmingly white and lacking the immigrant reputation. You need to shut the fuck up. At the Milan Quartina Winter Olympic, Sweden is sending a team made up, is this news, really? almost, this is Sweden exclusively of ethically Swedish athletes. Do you see? I mean, this is turned into a parody. This is like a parody
Starting point is 00:49:22 of politically correct people. They're complaining because Sweden's Olympic team is mostly white. Huh? I'm going to show up to an NBA game going, what the fuck's with all the groids? That one's going out. For sure, I'm keeping.
Starting point is 00:49:48 Anyways, exclusively the ethnic Swedish athletes. They're complaining because most athletes from Sweden are Swedish with the NHL player Mika Zabinajad, who's a great hockey player, by the way, whose father
Starting point is 00:50:05 is from Iran, a rare exception, the AP wrote. That hardly reflects the diversity of the Nordic country. About 2 million of its 10 million residents were born abroad. About half of them in Asia or Africa, according to the national statistic. It is such an easy explanation
Starting point is 00:50:22 that the guy gets to it. In the article, Mariahashi, a Somali migrant, oh, I want to hear from her, who came to Sweden, why would you go from Somali to Sweden? What are you just looking to fuck up? White shit? That's like me calling
Starting point is 00:50:43 you tomorrow. Hey, want to go to the Source Awards in Detroit? Came to Sweden with her family in 2009, explained to the outlet how it wasn't until 2018 that she discovered there was a ski slope five minutes from her home after a co-worker suggested she tries snowboarding as part of a pilot integration project. Now here comes the beautiful part. Listen to this. When you don't have information or access or anybody around you does it, excuse me, you just said to live five minutes from a mountain and your excuses, nobody told you that there was a mountain there that you could. Snowboarding is basically a white sport. Can you?
Starting point is 00:51:28 basketball is predominantly a black sport. You say that. And when you're not correctly integrated into the community, see, I don't even know the laws in Sweden, shit, but I know damn well they have tests and shit like we do over here. There's a framework to follow to integrate you in. Everybody's fault, all the people in the country that I just moved to, and when you're not correctly integrated into the country,
Starting point is 00:52:04 you don't know much about it. And this is what TV does too. This is why I go nuts. My wife's that, she can't sit next to me. We've been in a lot of fights lately. I can't stop because it's worse than ever. I just want you guys to sit home. Again, this has been going on forever.
Starting point is 00:52:30 But it's more noticeable now to me than ever. Since Trump came in and says it's all right to point this shit out, especially during the Super Bowl. And I used to have to explain. to the idiots of the comedy seller, some of the comedians who didn't get it. Every commercial opens on a black family or a black kid or, and we still can't have
Starting point is 00:52:57 three or four white people on screen at once. It's, it, and nobody, you guys have been conditioned to accept it. If you came, and I've said this a million times, I'm going to say it again, if you came from another country and watched five minutes American TV, you'd think it was 80, 20 black to white. overrepresented like insane
Starting point is 00:53:17 and always having them doing shit like looking through a microscope sitting in the bed reading you know I think they call a gas lighting and yes I know there are black families who don't act black
Starting point is 00:53:32 what I mean Joseph and I said and I remember Louis Louis CK going I'd say why does it have to be a you know that's how advertising work, they're going for a certain demographic.
Starting point is 00:53:46 I go, oh, really? So Mercedes is going for the young black kid? Then I said, you know what? You're right. They do have coping drug money. Which they all said, you're such a bigoted fucking idiot. Not Louis. Louis laughed his bald. Me and Louis could have great discussions like that, you know. But
Starting point is 00:54:03 brilliant guy, a little naive how the world works. Joseph Fallon, who works as a professor of sport pedagogy, a pedagity, a pedagity, at Yuma University. Get a fucking real name.
Starting point is 00:54:21 This is not even him, by the way. This is, you know, Jim Gaffigan's cousin, Teddy Gaffigant. He works at UMA University in Sweden, explained to the outlet how the children of non-European immigrants are unlikely. Here's the answer, okay? They're unlikely to be introduced to sports that their parents are not familiar with.
Starting point is 00:54:42 And that's the end of it. It's not racism, AP. It's not the evil white patriarchy, you stupid liberal motherfuckers. Do you understand that? People from Somalia don't go over here and go, we're going to get you into fucking snowboarding.
Starting point is 00:55:02 They're too busy ripping off the taxpayers in Minneapolis. Wait, you're telling me people from the... These are people getting sarcastic on the internet. These were great. Wait, you're telling me people from the Middle East and Africa aren't dominating the alpine skiing events? Another one said, I for one, I'm shocked that recent refugees from the eastern deserts of Syria aren't dominating the Finnish ski jumping team.
Starting point is 00:55:29 Whoa, roll tape. Take a hot bath. I'm getting cold just thinking about all this ice. No, my. Anyhow, that was some cool runnings. I tried to find a funny, you know, it was about the, it was a movie years ago about the Jamaican bar. sled team and I go oh there must be a couple funny on I must have
Starting point is 00:55:52 looked at 38 clips and that was the most hilarious one holy shit poo poo kaka anyways finally tonight on your sister's big big big black ass soup of the day is beef with barley
Starting point is 00:56:10 and rat shit bisque the list comes from Chicago based restaurant furniture company this is about the the worst, 10 filthiest restaurants in the country. I'm not going to get to all of them, but comes from Chicago-based restaurant, furniture company. What's that going to do?
Starting point is 00:56:34 Are there termites in your soup? Affordable seating. That's the name of the company, which analyzed more than 2.8 million trip advisors reviews across roughly 40,000 restaurants back in 2024. The company focused on low-rated restaurants that received. received 2.4 stars or fewer in major cities, flagging reviews that mentioned terms such as dirty restaurant, her in food, rats and roaches.
Starting point is 00:57:08 That was one of my first bits that put me on the map about finding hair in your food. And I can't even, I did it on the Tonight Show and Howard Stern thought it was hilarious. What the fuck was it? I can't even. But I remember the couple of the tag lines. I found like a two-foot hair.
Starting point is 00:57:29 I go, what's fucking, and no one's going to get this reference, if you're not my age. What's the woman's name? Crystal Gale. She was a country singer who was known for her hair down to her ass. I go, what's Crystal Gale working? And that got a big lap. And I don't say there's a lot of hair on the food, but the salad dressing was monoxide. Boy, I was ripping them up back then, folks.
Starting point is 00:57:57 The rankings are based on crowd. outsourced online reviews, not official restaurant inspection data, which is tracked by local and state health departments. Number one, coming in at the filthiest state as far as dirty restaurants. The Garden State, New Jersey had 320,520 mentions of dirty restaurant. That's because there's immigrants in there where you're trying to eat and they're dancing. who are hair and food complaints.
Starting point is 00:58:34 You don't get that many at the barbershop. And 810 of rats and cockroaches. Oh, my God. Dallas. I forgot to put up all this sound effect. Number two was Florida. It turned up 4,560 mentions of dirty restaurant. 1,191 of hair and food.
Starting point is 00:58:58 I got a solution. Hair nets. or shave your fucking ass. Of course, Jersey. You get a bunch of Italians and greaseballs. 636 of bugs and rodents. That's protein. Quit being a baby.
Starting point is 00:59:14 Here's the guy getting pissed at the restaurant. Do you know that guy got nominated for an Oscar? California, next. Driven largely by pest-related complaints. Let me guess. Cockroaches from Mexico. rather than general cleanliness issues.
Starting point is 00:59:37 While dining has flagged Dirty Restaurant Conserved 3,332 times, and mentioned heroin food 1731, the state led all others in top 10 reports of rats and roaches with 960 complaints, the most on the list. Then you had Arizona reviewers cited Dirty Restaurant Issues 1759 times, along with 639 mentions of her and food in 400. There's other shit that happens. Isn't there in restaurants other than hair and four?
Starting point is 01:00:08 Like I found the Band-Aid once. Delicious. Anyways, also, 443 complaints involving critters. Finally, Texas log 1068 dirty restaurant mentions 471 preferences to hair and food. 232 pest-related complaints. A volume likely influenced by its size and number of restaurants. and they threw me out of a restaurant in Dallas. They call it they trespass you.
Starting point is 01:00:38 If I go there, I'll be arrested. For something, because of who I was, by the way. Why, I didn't get a lawyer for this one because of who I was. And it's the truth. And anyways, to follow up the final five, you got Louisiana coming in there, Alabama, Maryland, then Nevada,
Starting point is 01:00:56 and following up right here, the great state of Georgia. Yes, sir, we. That's it, boys, girls. Don't forget to watch Glenn Greenwall after me if he's on tonight. Again, I don't have access to the schedule. Anyway, also you get cameo.com. If you want me to send a personal video message to somebody, you know, doing a little roast on them or whatever, go to cameo.com, click on my profile. That's it. You guys think it. I'll say it. You're most welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow at the same time. Have a good day, everybody. Hi, good night, everybody.

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