The Nick DiPaolo Show - Seahawks Defense Pounds Pats | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1852
Episode Date: February 9, 2026In this episode, Nick talks about Seattle Wins Super Bowl, Bad Bunny Bad, Kid Rock Rocks, ICE Ad, Guthrie Investigation Not Going Well, Family Fallout, Racist Olympics and Soup Of The Day! The FULL SH...OW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy! https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/
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I have Nick the pig as a friend.
Rather have me as a friend than me fucking you.
Tell me last night, Michelle.
How are you, folks?
Welcome to the live lineup where you get all these shows for free.
All these handsome fellas, very white, very male, very unusual, not like the Super Bowl, you know what I'm saying?
Okay, you get all those.
And if you want to watch this stuff ad free, you sign up for Rumble Premium.
And today I will be talking about, I'm doing this.
by memory because I let the thing roll by.
Took one ambient last night.
Fucking couldn't recognize my car on the driveway this morning.
I was trying to get into some neighbor's car.
And fucking stop.
It's great.
I feel a little rested today, but I don't know what it does long term.
Men you fucking responded.
Yeah.
So I'll be talking about all kinds of horseshit.
Of course, I'll touch on the Super Bowl.
That should be quick.
and all the cultural shit that comes with the Super Bowl.
Normally I wouldn't even...
But that's the more...
When it comes to...
That makes the news.
All the stuff surrounding the Super Bowl.
And that's because, I don't know,
somewhere along the line in our 60 Super Bowl's,
Hollywood decided they had to stick their filthy beaks in
and turn it into a fucking, you know,
Burning Man concert, whatever the fuck you want to call it.
And, you know?
And it drives me nuts because you hear athletes
in these young athletes,
I mean, Terrell Owens was saying this when he's with the 49ers.
We're entertainers.
No, you're not.
You're not.
I'll say this again.
You're not.
You're fucking pro athletes.
And by the way, that's way harder than being an actor or a fucking singer or whatever the fuck.
Way harder.
I've done both and I've failed to both.
Now, let me tell you something.
But people think, and I think this is pretty brilliant because I said this and Breitbart put it on his thing.
He had a guy writing for something to do with Hollywood.
And I said, just because somebody finds what you're doing for living entertaining doesn't make you an entertainer.
Like there are people who like to watch child porn.
Are the guys fucking those kids entertainers?
I thought it was a pretty good point.
I brought it up on Meet the Press and somebody threw a phone at my head.
I think it was Anthony Wiener.
Do you know what I'm saying?
So, yeah, the whole halftime show just, what's it, an hour long?
And I noticed there wasn't that much buildup this year of the Super Bowl.
Maybe I just wasn't paying attention.
But it seems like in years past, like two weeks before the Super Bowl, you couldn't, you know.
And then the week of, every day you put on TV, there'd be, I went to ESPN.
Because the world changing.
I went to ESPN on the day of the Super Bowl, just out of curiosity to see.
And I put it on Twitter, I go to the home page.
It's a picture of LeBron James talking with a coach.
And then the first three stories about the NBA, college hoops, and then the third one down
was a Super Bowl.
On Super Bowl Sunday, you know, the worldwide leader in sports, ESPN, worldwide leader
and woke horse shit that's going the way of the Dodo Bird.
Might as well get right into it.
I'm talking about it now.
let's just sum up all the entertainment and all the shit could you have a more anti-white anti-American
first you get bad bunny we all know is coming Puerto rican not one word of english
during an event on TV that literally will get the highest ratings of the year
in America all over the place but and not one word of English so that's a slap in the face
number two, they had to break up the black national anthem
again. I don't even know if they televised that part or not.
If they did, I would have walked out of the fucking Rome.
Even black people don't like that, by the way.
You know, the ones that have some white in them can get it.
Oh, Nick, that's terrible. Oh, fuck off.
Do you know what I'm saying? No, there are a lot of black people.
You know, I guarantee it. I don't even know Jason Whitlott's take.
I guarantee it's the same of mine. There's one nation, one flag.
Oh my God, what the fuck?
I don't know.
I think the Jews are involved with that angle.
You don't hear much of this on the today show,
Good Morning.
Somebody wants us to pity them for the rest of their lives.
Other than that, it's a third party doing it.
It's really why I think, like, the Candace Owens and the,
who's my boy?
Tucker Carlson and a few others have a beef with the...
It has something.
I know it has a lot to do with...
foreign policy and them having too much sway over our country and banking and all that.
But it's got a lot to do with culture, too, I think.
At least, I don't know.
I could be wrong.
So what?
I'm not the first one of blame the Jews for something that wasn't their fault.
So you had that, right?
So you had the Black National Anthem.
You had Puerto Rican, all Spanish halftime show.
You had Green Day.
My fantasy, again, used to sleep with, my fantasy used to sleep with, you know, whoever, Pam Anderson.
Now it's to run into a couple of guys from Green Day at the mall and just get a running start.
I picture them.
I've thought this out.
They're walking by like the baby gap.
I see them from the side.
I get about a 50-yard run, especially the blonde kid that sings, and hit him from the side.
And he goes right through that glass.
And he lands on the ground, covered of blood, and little baby bonnet lands on his head.
That's right.
That's my fantasy.
they have become what they used to hate.
They are the establishment.
That's how stupid they are.
They don't even realize it.
They are the establishment.
All that woke, PC, anti-American shit,
that is the culture.
They're not anti-culture.
They're as safe as you can get.
That's why they had them there.
And they're saying,
fuck America in the song.
People upset because NBC had to bleep the fuck.
They're not upset that they were saying
fuck America in the first place.
You pick up on any of this, folks.
Probably not. You got a life, but what am I going to talk about when I show up here on Monday?
Oh!
No, for nothing, T. What the fuck is that?
So, yeah, what else did you have?
You had your bad bunny, you had those douchebags of Black National Anthem.
I guess there was a commercial, a pro commercial for ICE.
But in what I read, maybe I read it wrong.
It said some of the country saw this commercial.
I don't know if that's true or for everybody's sorry.
You can let me know, call 1-800.
I don't have a phone.
phone. But there was a pro, we'll show that. We got that. I forget how to do the show. But let me get back to the Super Bowl.
Seattle Savers a second Super Bowl. Oh, by the way, I made the Chinese ribs, Alice.
Yeah. I couldn't find that. I was going to do the chili, but the brisket, I couldn't find. There was only a couple left and they didn't, you know, they looked like human ribs. So I stayed away from it.
My wife doesn't like you and me.
Anyway, so yeah, I did with the Chinese ribs.
Have we done that one?
No, no.
The Korean wings we did.
But the Chinese ribs, you guys will kill me.
If I do this for you guys, when we do another one, if we ever do another one,
you're going to kill me for holding this one back on you.
It's better than any Chinese ribs you ever in a restaurant.
Looks just like them, too.
That's right.
I put red dye number nine in there.
I ain't no pussy.
63, I've been eating that shit my whole life.
They were so...
In the crock park, folks.
Four to six hours.
Fucking fell apart again, like a cancer patient
that has meat falling off the bone.
And then I made a Chinese cabbage dish
that I stumbled over on YouTube.
You close your eyes, it's...
I'm making this all the time.
It's fucking... It was just...
You know, shredded cabbage.
Like in shredded carrots and onion basically.
And you know what?
A little oyster sauce, a little soy sauce.
Whatever, some type of jizz.
Oh, my God.
It's just a stir fry.
All that shit shrinks down.
I threw mushrooms in it.
Phenomenal.
And you can make that.
I stumble over it.
It's funny.
Chinese guy doing the voiceover on YouTube.
Take head of cabbage.
He goes, cut with the left hand.
It says you're going to use your left hand.
Who are they busting our balls?
They're probably busting us balls even in cooking things.
It was very funny.
Anyways, yeah, that was my meal.
And, of course, my white rice, which I like duck sauce.
For the second time in franchise history,
the Seattle Seahawks are Super Bowl champions.
Yay for them.
As was the case 12 years ago when the Seahawks won their first Super Bowl,
Sunday's 29 to 13 win over the New England,
was the result of a dominant defense performance with the Seahawks keeping New England off the scoreboard for the first three quarters before they finally found the end zone already trailing by three scores.
The Seahawks sacked Drake May six times.
Yes, they have a fierce defense, no doubt about it.
And they had three takeaways, including a 45-yard Uchena, Norses.
pick six, which was made possible by a hit on Drake made by Devin Witherspoon that was originally
credited as a sack slash force fumble before being changed to an interception because it popped
right in his hands. Wait a minute. How the fuck's that an interception? He didn't throw it forward,
right? Kind of popped up. Whatever. Good for you. Does it matter? Another takeaway, a Derek
Hall for sack and fumble set up Seattle's lone offensive touch. Patriots defense did their job, folks.
They did their fucking jobs.
By the fourth quarter, you're like, they're going to get warned.
Do you understand?
I mean, I played enough football like in high school and college to know,
especially in high school when I was playing both ways.
Your offense ain't getting it done, you know, three and out,
and I'd have to fucking play defense, and I'm still winded from playing offense.
You know what I mean?
So, and the pros, obviously, you know, lot and most people don't play both ways.
But you go over to the bench, you sit out for three seconds.
you put your oxygen mask on.
They're like, get back out.
So they did, they did, you know,
their defense did the job.
You can't blame them.
Jason Myers kicked a Super Bowl record.
Nobody even brings this poor guy up.
You know what I mean?
People take the ship for granted.
They weren't, he had a 57 yard,
but the rest of them were pretty easy.
Five field goals.
That's two touchdowns plus to help the Seahawks stay in control.
Even when the offense wasn't finding the end zone,
I was sitting there with my wife going,
if you're not a Pat's fan or Seahawks fan,
the rest of the country's going, this game sucks,
but no fucking scoring.
I like, what was it,
six nothing at a half time?
Yeah, so I was like,
this is going to be great
because every play is huge
when it's that close,
but Seattle wore them down,
and they're clearly a better team.
Seattle Seahawks running back,
Kenneth Walker, the third,
not the second, not the first,
not the embryo that had
1100 yards at Dakeham High School
and rushed for 135
yards and 27 carries.
I thought he had more than that, actually, earning MVP honors.
He also added 26 receiving yards for a total of 161.
He was the best guy around.
The win caps one of the greatest seasons in franchise history
with the Seahawks going 14 and 3.
Okay, Patriots actually had to won more games.
Maybe it's tie now, but they beat us.
In the regular season to win the NFC West
and earn the NFC's top seed before beating the 49ers in Rams
and let's make this clear
if we're going to do that.
49ers will beat up the shit.
Doesn't matter though.
Everybody has injuries, but the four,
remember they were decimated.
And Rams and the playoffs
to reach the Super Bowl.
Sam Arnold was so excited.
You don't see white guys do this much
after they win.
They get excited.
I didn't know he had this in him.
Is that crazy?
Isn't that crazy?
And surprisingly, you know who's singing in Cooper Cup?
Some wild stuff, Ed.
What were those other Rodney jokes, Dallas?
Fuck, there were a couple hadn't heard of.
What's the one you repeated to me?
The Hollywood tour.
I get to L.A.
See, I want to take a tour of the...
The Hollywood buses that show you all the...
They took me in a tour where all the extras live.
God damn it
There's some other good ones in there
Anyhow any heat
Well Patriots
Let's just to wrap it up
Like I said
I'm at the age where really
Hey
We've had our fill
And I'm not being a you know
Sour grapes
I'm just saying at my age
You're like okay
Nobody expect them to be there
By the way
They set a record
Going from four losses
To the Super Bowl
Nobody's done that before
Which nobody
I thought it would be a good 10, 12 years
before they even get a competitive again.
But they spent a ton of money,
if I could spit this fucking cock out of my mouth.
A ton of money.
And you know what?
They fucking, I'll tell you who disappointed the hell out of me, Diggs.
Where was he yesterday?
They had him covered, I guess, like a blanket.
Then he's fucking mouthing off.
And then they said him and Cardi B might have split.
Right after the game,
they were fighting.
What a horrible day.
I thought he was going to, we needed him, you know.
And the two rookies and the offensive line got,
the poor Campbell guy got smoked.
Did you see some of those defensive linemen for Seattle?
Mother of God.
Fast, huge.
Fast as shit.
Alabama guys that were playing a couple of,
that's why I love college.
And Dallas loves college football.
You watch these guys when they're 19.
It's insane.
you're like, oh, we'll see him next year.
And they step right in and they play like there's no, right?
And I had one more take on the Super Bowl.
Yeah, so the pets, they get a bright future.
I don't give a shit.
If they draft right, like they did when the Belichick was here,
what am I forgetting?
I had a main point about the Super Bowl.
I don't know.
I don't know.
It'll come to me.
Boys and girls, you want to support this show.
Go to Nick Dip.com.
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Yeah. I make her laugh.
I reach like I'm closing the curtains of my ass shows.
Like Donald Sutherland did.
Remember it?
And fucking Animal House?
When he's banged that young girl?
He was like 55 that.
Boy, you know, they had the fucking wrinkled old white ass.
Jesus, that may be laugh.
Anyways, nickdip.com.
Buy some chit. Okay?
No bad buddy fuck.
Oh.
Also want to send there, if you want to send a personalized video to somebody with me, you know, give them a little ribbing or saying, you know, congratulations on the Super Bowl, you left-wing cock sucker.
Stuff like that.
You know, I'll say what you're thinking so you don't have to, you don't get in trouble.
Go to shoutout.us.
Shoutout.us.
Let's stay on the Trump.
Let's mix a little politics.
that it supports. Trump says bad bunny, really bad bunny.
I love when Trump weighs in on shit like this.
For a guy who dances like this, I want his opinion on music.
But he's right on the money again. I'm sorry.
Trump slammed the Super Bowl 60 halftime show.
Headlined by PR rapper, Bad Bunny.
One of the worst.
It's the worst I ever seen.
Terrible.
I still can't do him.
Jesus Christ.
Bring in somebody I can do.
One of the worst ever.
and an affront to the greatness of America,
which at the beginning of the show, I touched on it,
and you can make that argument very much so.
Do you feel like it's, I mean, is this rift that's never going to close?
I mean, the wokeness thing is, it's in high gear.
It's just a cancer that they stuffed into our DNA, and it still exists.
And here is a bunch of Puerto Rican stealing a truck out of the parking lot.
Look at that, and that's Bad Bunny, leading them all.
The Super Bowl halftime show is absolutely terrible.
this is Trump on truth social.
One of the worst ever.
It makes no sense.
Well, yeah, because it was all in Spanish.
And yes, I know there's a lot of people who speak Spanish.
Nobody really ever explained that to me.
You got a million different ethnicities.
The Italians came over to Germans, the Polo, even the Polacks.
And we all learned English.
Hispanics, what the fuck's your problem?
Are you that fucking retired?
I don't think so.
I know a lot of very smart.
Puerto Ricans. They're all dead now. What? No, I'm just saying. And somebody said to me, well, it's
because they all came so fast at once. Oh, really? Is that what you're going with? Suck a dick.
It makes no sense. Is it an affront to the greatness of America and doesn't represent our
standards of success, creativity, or excellence? Trump wrote in a lengthy true social post minutes
after the show concluded Sunday night. His complaints hinge on bad bunnies, discards.
disc I want to say discography but it's disco-grapi
huh discography which is exclusively in Spanish and the choreography
all right choreography that he called disgusting I fucking love I don't even know
what this video was up though still you oh let's see it let's put on that
I was trying to figure out the theme.
He's at a bodega and a cornfield in Nebraska.
I don't know what the fuck's going on.
He's shoplifting.
That made sense.
Did you know one of these couples?
There was a couple of these.
They said one of them, a guy really,
like he didn't do it in rehearsal?
Nobody understands where this guy, Trump's still going on.
like fucking Rex Reed.
Nobody understands where this guy is saying,
well, that's not true either.
A lot of Spanish people do.
And the dancing is disgusting.
It's dirty dancing, Mr. President.
A lot of your dancing is not the bad,
especially for young children that are watching
from throughout the USA.
Yeah, that was Lady Gaga, right?
We were trying to, I couldn't think she was blonde
in her eye, you know,
and all over the,
world. This show is just a slap in the face to our country, he said, you know.
That's a slap.
Not this.
Bad.
And he's got a point.
Like I said, you can't find the more anti-American band than Green Day.
And they're past their prime.
They suck when they were good.
So shut up.
I fucking hate that.
Oof.
I like to take that band.
Mark Rufelo, you know me?
Adam Swalwell, Neil Young,
and just brought them alive in front of their children.
What?
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
Just throw them in a fucking meat grinder.
To stay on the entertainment of the Super Bowl,
kid rock, rocks.
Huge success.
Millions tuned into Turning Point USA's All-American Half-Time Show.
headline by Kid Rock, who I'd like to meet.
You know damn well he'd like me, and he probably knows me.
He did the roast in Comedy Central.
He did the, we roast, we had the George W. Bush impersonator,
who was so fucking good.
The guy's dead now, by the way.
Dyes, a few years after all that success.
Kid Rock opened with a sweet home Alabama mix,
like kind of a hip-hop version.
He had Bear Bryant's hat on.
It was fucking tremendous.
Anyways, he shot up Bud Light cans.
Who's not going to like this guy?
He loves guns and beer.
He's a fucking American, and he made it.
Anyways, a halftime show,
headlined by Kid Rock,
and held in honors of its slain father,
Charlie Kirk,
which was streamed as a rival
to the official Super Bowl halftime show
featuring Spanish-speaking singer
Chooch Bunny,
the conservative non-profits,
hour-long spectacle,
which started minutes before
the Super Bowl 60 halftime show,
was backed by the Trump administration,
and scores of conservative hubs that cross-aired the performance.
And it was huge.
I don't know, five to ten million on YouTube is what I was reading.
Here's a little clip of what you missed if you're watching Bad Chooch.
I'm sorry, that was me at my wedding a few years ago.
I'll tell you, folks, I get down and dirt.
Love the fucking kidster.
T.P. USA.
Remember, that's Turning Point U.S.
Charlie Kirk's organization.
scrambled to organize a rival.
I still can't believe he's gone.
It really is a...
Half-time concert in October
after Bad Bunny remarked
that anyone peeped by his selection
as Super Bowl headline
had four months to learn Spanish
and understand his music.
And that's what Kid Rock said.
Oh, yeah?
Fucking steal your heat right now, bitch.
The alternative show was a celebration
of the USA with lyrics
honoring blue-collar workers
and the red, white, and blue
as well as a tribute to the Klan.
I, what?
Oh, I read that wrong, to late Kirk.
This one's for you, Charlie, Jack Pasebik said,
at TPSA host as they started the show.
Country musicians Kid Rock, Brantley Gilbert,
Lee Bryce and Gabby Barrett,
all I've heard of who I've heard of and never heard a song with,
I'm trying to like it.
I don't dislike it.
It's weird with me.
I mean, I'll put Tennessee whiskey up against
Any song I love.
It's pretty easy to play on the guitar, though.
I'll bring it in.
I'll sing it for you.
You want to see the numbers going on on this show?
All performed at the show, flanked by T.P. USA's signature pyrotechnics.
Good thing that band wasn't there, Great White.
More than 5 million viewers turned into T.P. USA's YouTube live stream at one point during the performance.
Kid Rock opened with a rousing rendition of American.
the beautiful. On an electric
guitar, I wish I
saw that. This bud's
for you.
That's fucking beautiful.
I'm all over the place.
Alice is like, that's not where that goes.
What's the fuck are you doing? What's the matter with you?
What's the matter with you? That's my...
I guess there was an ICE ad.
Again, from the article
I read, I couldn't tell if everybody saw it
or parts of the country saw it.
It's a Super Bowl commercial.
and it said not all the company got to see.
I don't know if that's true or not.
I should have looked into it, but this isn't TV.
What the fuck?
Get off my back, will you?
But here's the ad.
A pro-ice ad.
Their friends and neighbors, sons, fathers,
their little league coaches and veterans.
They're people who love this country.
These are immigration and customs enforcement officers.
They are removing violent criminals from our streets and neighborhoods.
It's dangerous and difficult work.
But ICE has one mission to make America a safer place to live.
And that's what they're doing.
This is law enforcement.
This is ICE.
Yeah, that should be run on a loop, not just five minutes on Super Bowl, two minutes in Super Bowl.
That should be run on a loop every day.
Trump should pass an executive order making every network, news network.
That way, ESP, I mean.
and, yeah, ESPN, might as well.
CNN, MSNBC, all those shitholds
should have to run this before our show starts and after.
That's the message that nobody,
when the left's out there going,
they're kidnapping fucking,
they're Nazis and Gestapo.
Well, watch this and tell me what part of this is false.
Nobody, I don't see anybody going,
I guess, I don't see every interview.
I'm guessing J.D. Vance or Rubio would go,
You're four rapists on your streets.
And I keep hearing, just grabbing American citizens.
Can you show us some?
Can you name one?
Seriously, can you name one?
And if they did, wouldn't that person be on MSNBC,
two minutes after it happened or CNN,
you're full of shit.
And unfortunately, half the country's retarded.
They have to vote's Democrat.
Retarded.
And the shit, again, the legit,
the stuff on TikTok,
or X, I should say X, the fucking, I know, I know the algorithm.
They got it set to troll me.
I don't even believe these.
I believe there are a ton of them of bots.
Because they're saying shit that's so over the top,
there's one woman to you go on.
You mega people, you don't even, it's sad.
You don't even how to critically think.
Oh, my God.
They know right way to hit you.
You know?
Oh, God.
get breast cancer.
Dallas went, yum.
Yum, yum.
Delicious.
Okay, let's change it up to the other big story in the nation.
Guthrie investigators tanking.
What?
The search for Savannah Guthrie's mom has taken a dark turn.
As investigators are looking in the Detroit Atlanta area.
No, are filmed searching a septic tank.
I had a septic tank.
Something to brag about.
I had that kind of money.
I had that kind of money.
Well, it wasn't a septic tank.
I used to shit in a coffee can behind a house,
and I saved it for years.
No, when we lived in Westchester County
and I had the big, beautiful house in the woods,
the front, and this house was built in 1934,
the septic tank was in the front yard,
under my front lock.
Insane.
And every once in a while,
there'd be a clogger,
backup, nothing like seeing your own shit flying up in your tub.
I remember, and I still remember, this is one of my favorite memories.
It's, this is like in the middle of January, it's about 10 degrees out, and it's nighttime.
And my front lawn has a good foot and a half of ice and snow on it.
And they sent some poor bastard out with a big truck.
First of all, getting down on my street, how he didn't tip it over is beyond me, and how he's
going to get back up.
this guy shows up I'm looking out the window going look at this poor bastard he thinks he's going to
unclog because we had a clog because we had a clog somewhere in the line my wife would take these
masses dumps she just god if she hears that I'm dead uh it's a joke everybody I do I do
little rabbit pellets I eat very small
so the guy's out there and I'm looking out the window going and my wife in Jesus Christ
he's there's no way he's going to
first of all he has to find where the septic tank is there's a little opening under the snow and and so i point i went out there
i go i walked off i had a good memory because i used to cut uh and he starts digging and i'm out there
with him i felt so bad that i stood out there with him you know and and he's got a light and uh sure enough
he finds the frucking takes the fucking lid off then he gets this
they call it a snake
but this one's made of metal
you know what I mean it's on a big spool
and I'm like
first of all you have to have
you have to be a positive person
do you know what I'm saying
again I was voted class pessimist
in high school literally they made a
superlative of me
I call it realist they called it you know
and I'm like
there's no way he's gonna we don't know where the
clog is it's somewhere between the front
lawn and my tub on the first floor
which is about 30 yards that way.
And he's feeding this fucking thing in.
His hands bleeding and it's like 10 degrees.
You know what I mean?
And he keeps feeding it.
He's like, oh, no, no.
And I'm talking to him.
What was I talking about religion, I think?
He sounded like kind of like a religious guy, you know?
And buba.
And in my head, I'm going, dude, you're wasting you.
All of a sudden, all of a sudden you can hear fucking large gurgling.
and just comes pouring into the fucking septic tank.
And I just, you got to love guys like that.
You know what I mean?
Those are the people, you know, those are working class guys who listen to, you know,
if they ever heard two minutes of MSNBC, they're like, what the fuck?
This guy did something, solved something under unbelievable circumstance.
You know, he was out there for over an hour before the thing cut loose.
You know what I mean?
I was like in shock that he, you know,
and that's my septic tank story.
I did have a good joke about it, though.
I used to look into my septic tank
because they come once every couple months to empty it with a truck,
you know, which is when it's summertime, it's two seconds.
But I had a bit about, I was staring into it
into the septic tank.
And I go, I told Colin Quinn I was going to write a one-man show
based on what's in my septic tank.
You know what I mean?
Oh, look at all the past Thanksgiving.
Is my wife on the rag?
A couple weeks of getting that fight.
Is that, is that lasagna that didn't go well?
All this crap.
I know.
I got nothing else, Dells.
I can't remember.
But, yes, I'm looking at it.
All the good times, all the bad times.
Hey, my wedding rings in there.
Anyhow.
So they're looking in the septic tank.
Did we show?
Not yet.
Here's the story from our own remote reporter, Chad, fuck pillow.
Exactly one week after Nancy Guthrie was first reported missing, Pima County Sheriff's
Deputies and their investigators were back out at Nancy's home, this time searching in the area
behind her home.
We saw investigators take a long pole and appear to search what may have been a septic tank.
Investigators staying at the property for a little less than an hour searching, but eventually
leaving empty-handed.
Well, better than leaving with a handful of shit.
shit. That ain't a good sign. I don't, I'm trying to guess what they would, what, DNA of some sort,
a body. Oh, Jesus. Maybe I am a positive person. I didn't think of that.
What in God's name. What an interesting. Remember first, ah, kidnapping, then that's not a
kidnap. This is a crime scene. Now they find blood. Wait a minute. Now there's a, they took the
light off that there's a busted floodlight.
Then the two ransom notes.
It comes just 24 hours after the officers
last seen at the property where they removed
a car from the garage and took a camera
off the roof that appeared to have been missed
in previous searches.
Meanwhile, investigators
also went back to her
daughter, Annie's home Friday night.
Officers arrived in an unmarked
vehicle and stayed for around two
hours during which time camera flashes were seen in the garage and other parts of the house.
Wait a minute, whose house did it? Annie? Which is the, okay.
One of they taking pictures? This weekend they were, again, I don't know if they've clad the
son-in-law, because the daughter and son-in-law are the last to see her. They had dinner
with her Sunday night or whatever. This weekend, they received another ransom note asking for
six million in Bitcoin currency, the family answered saying they will get the money, just let our mom go so we can celebrate with her.
And I read that the same way some detective did on TV. I went, you can read that two ways.
We can celebrate with her because she's home or they know she's dead and celebrate her life.
That's, you know, or they hate it on the celebrate that she's dead. No, it's, I wouldn't
say that. What a horrible story.
And what's her name? Miss Guthrie
your journalist was supposed to cover the Olympics.
Anybody watching the Olympics? I haven't even caught.
And the Winter Olympics, I always bet them up the Olympics, but they are
the way better, in my opinion. And my favorite thing to watch
as much as any sport, downhill skiing, they're doing almost
90 miles per hour on wooden sticks out of this wide.
you understand you're this close to catastrophe
it's fucking insane
Lindsey Vaughn used to bang Tiger Woods
real piece of ass
she wiped out
and does
didn't that happen the Alaska Olympics
or my
I know she just came back
from a serious injury a few years ago
she fucking wiped out I guess
and they took her off
blew her knee out again or whatever
I think that's it for her
she'll probably do you know
what, only fans.
Fingers crossed.
Anyways,
let's move on to the destruction of nuclear
family fallout. I thought this
was an interesting study.
One study from
Cornell University found that more than a
quarter of Americans, roughly
67 million people,
report being estranged from a
family member. One of those
is Laura Wellington in Connecticut,
known on social media as
doormant mom.
Of course, her daughter has a nickname,
Cunty Karen.
While researchers
shown that many estrangements are gradual,
Wellington described hers as a sudden and unexpected.
After initially being involved in her daughter's
wedding plans,
she was abruptly told she would not be invited to a
and I know a few family friends
who have had this happen in their family.
It's fucking mind-boggling, but it happens when Wellington had a beef, Beef Wellington.
That's why you guys pay good money for this show. That was some type of genius.
Why do women turn into men when they get older? When Wellington pushed back, both her daughter
and her daughter's fiance blocked her from all contact in 2024. I was literally just
completely blindsided with this, she said.
the pain of being cut off, it's a pain you can't describe unless,
you can't describe it unless you're a parent or that, you know,
or you fall off the platform crushing grapes.
Why is that so funny?
Oh my God, you should see it, you'll shut your pants.
The widowed mother of four took to TikTok to share her experience.
I just said what was on my mind, and I didn't mention my daughter specifically,
she said.
I just came out with a very heavy hand and said,
something to the effect of
were you a really good parent
and you raised an ungrateful
little shit is what she
said here she is talking about it is
and it's when I watch those crime
shows
uh you know
American monster evil in the house
whatever
whatever they're called
I always feel the worst
for the moms whose
14 year old daughter left the house
never came home and
of course it's painful of dad too but I mean
Oh, anyways, here she is talking about her daughter and her fiance.
The daughter's going to get in trouble for this one, but I got to say it.
Millennials, Gen Z, and Gen Alpha.
You don't get to mistreat, abuse, or dress down per se, your parents, ever.
Ever.
Unless.
I mean, never.
For no reason whatsoever.
Like none.
You think about all the reasons you're concocting in your head right now.
None of those.
Never.
Good parents don't deserve it.
Your barber does.
Well, by emulating their behavior, you're only condoning it.
And why would you ever want to do that?
Isn't the goal of every new generation to do better?
Shut!
Shut!
Shut!
Shut!
Shut!
Shut!
Shut!
Go ahead.
I'm sorry, Mom.
If you don't agree, you're probably going to end up on
the other side of a very, very long love you from a distance relationship.
While parents go on to figure out how to reach for future happiness on everything and
anything that has nothing to do with you.
All right, enough.
That's enough, Mom.
I agree with your bigger point, but Jesus, when you're publishing this book,
beef Wellington was flooded by responses.
That's it.
She should call her book.
She should write a book about being an
estranged to her daughter and call it Beep Wellington.
Jesus Christ, you don't get comedy like that anyway.
Thank God.
Wellington was flooded by responses from parents.
She said, not only in the U.S.,
but also in Germany, the U.K., Australia, and other countries.
They wanted to share their feelings to share the impact
they needed to support.
Really, let me tell you something.
You don't think colleges have most
mostly to do with this?
You don't think when you send your little girl
off from high school to college
and she comes back 10 months later
with a nose ring purple hair
and telling her dad he's an asshole
and part of the patriarch and
the mother was just a fucking housewife
who did. You don't think that has anything to do with it?
You lesbians.
Estrangement is becoming a
more normalized way to address family
tensions. Yeah, that's just ballless.
Instead of being, it's a sign of immaturity.
Instead of sitting down and talking it,
let's just cut her up like we don't even know her.
And you wonder where the boyfriend or the fiance is at all this too.
Anyways, normal way to address family tensions.
Even in cases where there is no abuse or neglect,
she blames several factors that drive division,
including political and cultural differences, exactly.
And where do those emanate from, those differences?
Where I just told you.
And societal narratives that are, that destroy family.
And that's what they count on.
That's what the professors count on.
It's called Marxism.
Attack the nuclear family.
How do you do that?
Well, make, like, I don't know, make the trans thing an issue
and say you can mutilate kids and it's fine.
Here's one way you're doing it.
Promote gay shit, gay pride every three weeks.
You know, all that shit that's not part of the nuclear family.
Yeah.
That's your world.
I just live in it.
That's most dead.
at this point. There's a lack
of foundation and traditional family values,
loss of faith, loss of grounded
principles, and the education that's
happening in our country, Wellington said.
The way these things are
being skewed today, cutting off
your parent is the first
go-to, not the last.
And I'll start with the generation
friggin, generation
Vietnam, those hippie fucks
grab them by their balls
or maybe even their parents, because
they were spawned from somewhere.
Right? That's where the cancer, I think, started. Hey, maybe it was before then, but I wasn't around. So kiss my grit. Sorry for the strong language. Anyways.
There are white niggers. I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time.
Don't use that type of talk. As Olivia from the soprano said the grandmother, I'm the only one that doesn't talk like that in this family.
then she tells her fucking 10-year-old nephew,
why do you think you're so special?
Life's a big nothing.
In our reverse the races segment tonight,
Associated Press, that would be the AP, folks.
And if you don't follow this stuff, they're very liberal.
Associated Press is as liberal as it gets.
And they write almost every article you read,
accuse several European nations
competing in the Winter Olympics
of having a lack of diverse
on their teams claiming they are overwhelmingly get this it's really gross white
shut up mind your fucking business and shut up here's what's scary about it number one that
they bought into that shit that PC shit that's been going on forever not only that it
they bought into it they raised kids preach to them and now it's passeh
Trump's coming you guys got you just got smoked in an election like and it's because
a shit like this.
And I'm reading these things now going,
no, woke isn't dead. It's coming back
stronger than having all the shit. Well, good luck.
Because that's where the fucking guns go off.
You really think we're going to go back to fucking
whitey, stupid and evil and race it?
You really think that's going to go back to
DEI shit? You really think that could happen?
I don't.
And if it does, I'm glad I'm 64.
Nice meeting you.
In an article from the AP, the outlet highlighted
how immigration from Africa
in the Middle East has transformed
the demographics of Europe in recent decades.
I like how they make it sound like it's all legal and they go through.
Here's my, I'm from here.
I want to take the test.
No, it's boats fill a fucking psychos,
not all of them, but a lot of them.
Just coming in, we've seen footage.
People on a beach in Europe,
but all of a fucking 60-foot canoe pulls up.
With the Lakers and a Mavericks and a raptors,
they all come running on the beach.
and there's guys from the NBA draft
writing their names.
The outlet also noted that while the United States
was sending one of its most diversity,
nobody cares.
You sound so silly.
You sound so silly.
The fact that, and they call themselves progressives.
Oh, did you guys not,
I guess he didn't do what they call
an autopsy after the last election?
One of its most diverse teams,
the team rosters for,
countries such as France, Germany, and Switzerland look a lot like Sweden's.
Yeah, because they're predominantly white countries, notwithstanding the scum that's pouring in,
overwhelmingly white and lacking the immigrant reputation.
You need to shut the fuck up.
At the Milan Quartina Winter Olympic, Sweden is sending a team made up, is this news, really?
almost, this is Sweden
exclusively of ethically
Swedish athletes.
Do you see? I mean, this is turned into a
parody. This is like a parody
of politically correct people.
They're complaining because Sweden's
Olympic team is mostly white.
Huh? I'm going to show up to an NBA
game going, what the fuck's with all the
groids? That one's going
out.
For sure, I'm keeping.
Anyways, exclusively
the ethnic
Swedish athletes.
They're complaining because most
athletes from Sweden are Swedish
with the NHL player
Mika Zabinajad, who's a great
hockey player, by the way, whose father
is from Iran, a rare exception, the AP
wrote. That hardly reflects
the diversity of the Nordic country.
About 2 million of its 10 million
residents were born abroad.
About half of them in Asia or
Africa, according to the national
statistic. It is such an easy explanation
that the guy gets to it.
In the article,
Mariahashi,
a Somali migrant, oh, I want to hear
from her, who came to Sweden,
why would you go from Somali to Sweden?
What are you just looking to fuck up?
White shit? That's like me calling
you tomorrow. Hey, want to go to the Source Awards in Detroit?
Came to Sweden with her family in 2009,
explained to the outlet how it wasn't until
2018 that she discovered there was a ski slope five minutes from her home after a co-worker suggested
she tries snowboarding as part of a pilot integration project. Now here comes the beautiful part.
Listen to this. When you don't have information or access or anybody around you does it,
excuse me, you just said to live five minutes from a mountain and your excuses, nobody told you
that there was a mountain there that you could. Snowboarding is basically a white sport. Can you?
basketball is predominantly a black sport.
You say that.
And when you're not correctly integrated into the community,
see, I don't even know the laws in Sweden, shit,
but I know damn well they have tests and shit like we do over here.
There's a framework to follow to integrate you in.
Everybody's fault, all the people in the country that I just moved to,
and when you're not correctly integrated into the country,
you don't know much about it.
And this is what TV does too.
This is why I go nuts.
My wife's that, she can't sit next to me.
We've been in a lot of fights lately.
I can't stop because it's worse than ever.
I just want you guys to sit home.
Again, this has been going on forever.
But it's more noticeable now to me than ever.
Since Trump came in and says it's all right to point this shit out,
especially during the Super Bowl.
And I used to have to explain.
to the idiots of the comedy seller,
some of the comedians who didn't get it.
Every commercial opens on a black family
or a black kid or, and we still can't have
three or four white people on screen at once.
It's, it, and nobody, you guys have been conditioned to accept it.
If you came, and I've said this a million times,
I'm going to say it again, if you came from another country
and watched five minutes American TV,
you'd think it was 80, 20 black to white.
overrepresented
like insane
and always
having them doing shit
like looking through a microscope
sitting in the bed reading
you know
I think they call a gas lighting
and yes I know there are black
families who don't act black
what I mean
Joseph
and I said and I remember Louis
Louis CK going
I'd say why does it have to be a
you know
that's how advertising
work, they're going for a certain demographic.
I go, oh, really? So Mercedes
is going for the young black kid?
Then I said, you know what? You're right. They do have
coping drug money.
Which they all said, you're such a bigoted
fucking idiot. Not Louis. Louis laughed his
bald. Me and Louis could have great discussions
like that, you know. But
brilliant guy, a little naive
how the world works. Joseph
Fallon,
who works as a professor of
sport
pedagogy, a pedagity, a pedagity,
at Yuma University.
Get a fucking real name.
This is not even him, by the way.
This is, you know, Jim Gaffigan's cousin, Teddy Gaffigant.
He works at UMA University in Sweden,
explained to the outlet how the children of non-European immigrants
are unlikely.
Here's the answer, okay?
They're unlikely to be introduced to sports
that their parents are not familiar with.
And that's the end of it.
It's not racism,
AP. It's not the evil
white patriarchy, you
stupid liberal motherfuckers.
Do you understand that?
People from Somalia don't go over here and go,
we're going to get you into fucking snowboarding.
They're too busy ripping off
the taxpayers in Minneapolis.
Wait, you're telling me people from the...
These are people getting sarcastic on the internet.
These were great. Wait, you're telling me
people from the Middle East and Africa aren't
dominating the alpine skiing events?
Another one said, I for one, I'm shocked that recent refugees from the eastern deserts of Syria aren't dominating the Finnish ski jumping team.
Whoa, roll tape.
Take a hot bath.
I'm getting cold just thinking about all this ice.
No, my.
Anyhow, that was some cool runnings.
I tried to find a funny, you know, it was about the, it was a movie years ago about the Jamaican bar.
sled team and I go
oh there must be a couple funny on I must have
looked at 38 clips and that was
the most hilarious one
holy shit
poo poo kaka
anyways
finally tonight on your sister's
big big big black ass
soup of the day is beef with barley
and rat shit bisque
the list comes from
Chicago based restaurant furniture company
this is about the
the worst, 10 filthiest restaurants in the country.
I'm not going to get to all of them, but comes from Chicago-based restaurant,
furniture company.
What's that going to do?
Are there termites in your soup?
Affordable seating.
That's the name of the company, which analyzed more than 2.8 million trip advisors
reviews across roughly 40,000 restaurants back in 2024.
The company focused on low-rated restaurants that received.
received 2.4 stars or fewer in major cities,
flagging reviews that mentioned terms such as dirty restaurant,
her in food, rats and roaches.
That was one of my first bits that put me on the map
about finding hair in your food.
And I can't even, I did it on the Tonight Show
and Howard Stern thought it was hilarious.
What the fuck was it?
I can't even.
But I remember the couple of the tag lines.
I found like a two-foot hair.
I go, what's fucking, and no one's going to get this reference, if you're not my age.
What's the woman's name?
Crystal Gale.
She was a country singer who was known for her hair down to her ass.
I go, what's Crystal Gale working?
And that got a big lap.
And I don't say there's a lot of hair on the food, but the salad dressing was monoxide.
Boy, I was ripping them up back then, folks.
The rankings are based on crowd.
outsourced online reviews, not official restaurant inspection data, which is tracked by local
and state health departments.
Number one, coming in at the filthiest state as far as dirty restaurants.
The Garden State, New Jersey had 320,520 mentions of dirty restaurant.
That's because there's immigrants in there where you're trying to eat and they're dancing.
who are hair and food
complaints.
You don't get that many at the barbershop.
And 810 of rats and cockroaches.
Oh, my God.
Dallas.
I forgot to put up all this sound effect.
Number two was Florida.
It turned up 4,560 mentions of dirty restaurant.
1,191 of hair and food.
I got a solution.
Hair nets.
or shave your fucking ass.
Of course, Jersey.
You get a bunch of Italians and greaseballs.
636 of bugs and rodents.
That's protein.
Quit being a baby.
Here's the guy getting pissed at the restaurant.
Do you know that guy
got nominated for an Oscar?
California, next.
Driven largely by pest-related complaints.
Let me guess.
Cockroaches from Mexico.
rather than general cleanliness issues.
While dining has flagged Dirty Restaurant Conserved 3,332 times,
and mentioned heroin food 1731,
the state led all others in top 10 reports of rats and roaches
with 960 complaints, the most on the list.
Then you had Arizona reviewers cited Dirty Restaurant Issues 1759 times,
along with 639 mentions of her and food in 400.
There's other shit that happens.
Isn't there in restaurants other than hair and four?
Like I found the Band-Aid once.
Delicious.
Anyways, also, 443 complaints involving critters.
Finally, Texas log 1068 dirty restaurant mentions 471 preferences to hair and food.
232 pest-related complaints.
A volume likely influenced by its size and number of restaurants.
and they threw me out of a restaurant in Dallas.
They call it they trespass you.
If I go there, I'll be arrested.
For something, because of who I was, by the way.
Why, I didn't get a lawyer for this one
because of who I was.
And it's the truth.
And anyways, to follow up the final five,
you got Louisiana coming in there,
Alabama, Maryland, then Nevada,
and following up right here, the great state of Georgia.
Yes, sir, we.
That's it, boys,
girls. Don't forget to watch Glenn Greenwall after me if he's on tonight. Again, I don't have
access to the schedule. Anyway, also you get cameo.com. If you want me to send a personal video message
to somebody, you know, doing a little roast on them or whatever, go to cameo.com, click on my
profile. That's it. You guys think it. I'll say it. You're most welcome. We'll see you back here
tomorrow at the same time. Have a good day, everybody. Hi, good night, everybody.
