The Nick DiPaolo Show - Special: "Breath Of Fresh Air" | Nick Di Paolo Show #1446d

Episode Date: August 24, 2023

Today’s episode is Nick’s 2019 Comedy Special “A Breath of Fresh Air”! Nick made this special on his own and gave it away for FREE without any media/industry filter. Thank you all for continuing to support Nick’s comedy! Join Nick as he discusses Toxic White Males, Waze App, Smoking, Bill Cosby, #MeToo, The 2016 Election, The Wall, Fox News, Religion, Green Hotels, Dying Ain’t Pretty & Funerals vs Wakes. Like what you hear? Sign in or Sign up at Mug Club and watch the full episode! https://mugclub.rumble.com/support/promo/NICKDIP Membership gets you full video episodes of The Nick Di Paolo Show, Louder With Crowder, Alex Jones, The Hodge Twins, The Bryan Callen Show, MrGunsNGear, and all other exclusive content! For Tour Dates, Merch, links to my socials and more visit https://nickdip.com

🎵 Oh yeah, how are you folks? Welcome to the show on a filthy Thursday. Good to be with you. As you know, all week we've been showing my stand-up specials. And today, no different. We have, it's the last one I did. Had a couple million views on YouTube or whatnot. It's been up there for a while. It's called A Breath of Fresh Air. And it's exactly what it is. It's sort of me very tired of the PC situation and letting

it fly a little. On the cover, I had a big controversy. It's a Photoshop job of me giving the finger to a very woke audience that, you know, we Photoshop, which, you know, everybody was in, I don't give a fuck. Did you get the message? And there was actually a black guy in the Photoshop thing that I grabbed from a stock photo. I didn't know who he was. Turned out he was a former, one of the BLM founders or whatever, who actually got shot to death in New Orleans. Somebody shot him while he was on his bike or whatever.

I didn't know any of that. I put him up there, and of course the left comes after me, give me all kinds of, so much so that I was trending number one on Twitter in New York City. And then I got, you know, I took it down. I'm giving you the explanation because it's kind of important. I took, even Joe Rogan texted me, because, dude, you're going to take that, and I was like, first of all, what are you, who are you to tell me? You know what I mean?

That's when you show you. So I took it down. I was going take it out anyways because that was not my intention I didn't know anything about what happened to the guy or who he was Do you understand if I did and I put it up there and people told me to take it down I go fuck you But I took it down because that was not my intention. He's got a family out there. That was probably bothered by whatever So I did the right thing as most people on the right do, is my opinion. But I think you're gonna like it because I talk about how, you know, people call you Nazi, how to handle that, all kinds of shit. I got in a lot of trouble for some of it. I'm also gonna

say, and I should mention this, that Jim Gaffigan and Brian Regan, two giants in the business who don't have my politics, I know Jimmy Gaffigan doesn't actually complimented me on the special on Twitter and I still am grateful for that and You know I mean because they didn't have to do that and I saw some of the Gaffigan's fans getting blowback If you could like this was controversial Anyways, if I was Chris Rock you would have heard about it or whatever the the fuck, but I'm not, I'm Kevin McGillicuddy. Anyways, enough said, here is a breath of fresh air. Ladies and gentlemen, for 30 years you may have been thinking it, but this gentleman's

been saying it. Give it up for Nick DiPaolo! Oh yeah! How are ya? Thank you Wow Holy shit You guys are cheering like it's the Price is Right Relax, this is a

It's a beautiful place It's the type of place where a senator would get assassinated in the 1860s This is class, huh? This is cohoes. Miller Lite cans lined up by the fucking... God bless it. Those are the working class people that I love, goddammit. Look to my left, I thought it was a bowling alley. How are you fellas? Good luck in the tournament. Toxic white European. There's no respect for white European males anymore. I realized this, I was in Jersey last night, working in Jersey. I had to get on the turnpike to come home. I had to go to the bathroom on the Jersey turnpike, so I pull into a rest area. What's the name of the rest area? The Vince Lombardi rest area.

That's the best we can do for the greatest coach in the history of the NFL. Should we put a statue of him in front of his high school? No, let's build an 18 by 24 brick structure off to exit 13A where truckers who have been living on hooker pussy and beach jerky for 14 hours can unload their impactive bowels, where gay guys can exchange filthy blowjobs at 3 a.m., and where pedophiles can come into the faces of terrified children. You know, the shit that Vince Lombardi was for.

Fucking Vince Lombardi rest. Where's the Jerry Sandusky rest area? That's my question. That's the rest area I want to see. Life-size statue of Jerry in a bathing suit, half a heart on, big smile on his face. A couple of Boy Scouts in headlocks. Fucking white,

toxic males. How about Jussie Smollett? Is that feminine black, toxic, fucking feminine? What a genius. You know why he did all that? He said he wasn't getting paid enough.

$65,000 an episode. Well, it turns out, after that hoax, they figured out in three seconds, you're a pretty shitty actor, I guess. Fucking... Isn't that a white guy trying to pull that off? Fucking reverse hate crime.

I'd have to get two white bodybuilders from Sweden, put them in blackface. Fucking beat me up, make it look like it was two black guys, leave a pack of Newports next to me. Dump great Kool-Aid over my head. And I'd set it, and they'd go, fuck you, this is Obama country. So I'd set it in Salt Lake City, naturally,

to make the fucking... What a scumbag. I hope he still has that fucking noose, and he uses it the right way this time. Yeah. Yeah. Jesse, get on stairs, find a beamer, you know what to do.

Some of yous are laughing, the rest of yous I can see you shitting in your little faggy fucking liberal pants. I'm woke, okay? And I'm on the right, motherfuckers. Drove up here. I live in Westchester and I drove up. Made here in like under two hours. I got a ticket last time. You're fucking Nazis on the Taconic, huh? You get enough cops? Doing 106, you know? My buddy who's with me goes, you're doing 106? I'm like, so what?

He goes, well, if we hit a deer, we're dead. I said, a deer at this speed, if we hit a fucking moth, it's going to go through you like a hollow point bullet. Are you shitting me? What are you? So I use the Waze app. I love the... Anybody use the... Of 20 of us, the rest of you is what? Getting raped on Uber cars on the weekend?

How many Uber rape stories have you read in the paper last year? I've read like three. You know, if you're an ugly girl, you can't get a date on a Saturday, I just call Uber, okay? They'll be happy to take you to your sister's house. You'll wake up in the driveway with your skirt over your head. What happened? Am I there? They'll send, like, a Haitian on bath salts to pick you up. Go ahead.

That would be $22, man Put on your shoes I love that Waze app I fuckin' love it You know, cause it tells you where the cops are And I still sell coke to school children in the afternoon So that kinda works out good Do you know who come up with the Waze app? The Israeli military. That's kind of ironic when you think about it, because Jews are known best for what?

Being lost in the desert for 40 years. Flooding up ahead, Moses. What's this, a Palestinian crowd all of a sudden? What the fuck? I use the Waze app to drive into New York City every night to work on my act, and I live 40 miles outside of New York City. I do the first 38 miles in 38 minutes. I get into Manhattan, I look down,

it says one mile to go, 27 minutes. There's marathon runners who run a sub four minute mile I'm going to turn my car in for a fucking Kenyan tomorrow get like 20 miles and a bowl of rice and some Japanese Beatles you know what I'm saying hi kids in the second half of the

show you know what we're going to do we're going to show the second half of Breath of Fresh Air. I thought it only made sense. I could show you the first half again, but people get crazy. You know what I'm saying? That's exclusively, though, on Mug Club, so join now to get it. Where do you do that? At nickdip.com. That's nickdip.com.

Anyways, back to the, back to Breath of Fresh Air. Hey boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, t-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time.

You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nicka shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com. Click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. I smoke now.

I started smoking a year ago. I fucking love it. I'm not going to stop, so shut your mouth. It makes me feel good. I don't care. My friends are going, why would you start at this age? I are going why would you start at this age I go why would you start in your 20s so you can have cancer in your 40s I'm timing it out but doctor tells me I have cancer in 30 years I'm gonna kiss him on

the lips you shitting me do you see many happy 87 year old guys out there you know that look in their face like, I wish I fucking smoked when I was a kid. Laying in a puddle of my own piss, nobody's talking to me. Give me a cigarette, goddammit. Fucking love it. Smoke a lot.

Trying to quit, it is kind of nasty but my buddy says why don't you try those e-cigarettes I said because I look more manly with a cock in my mouth that's why

that's a fucking cigarette that has steam coming off it what am I going to do your salmon and your vegetables come here Pete what's that broccolini hey Dave you got a wrinkle in your shirt. Come here, I'm getting lightheaded.

Fucking e-cigarettes. You know, I smoke, it draws attention, just like doing comedy. It's like having a mic in your hand. Take a cigarette. Everybody's staring at you like a psycho. I get off a plane in Buffalo. I go outside of the airport. The whole sidewalk, there's no smoking signs until you get to the end. Then I have this little glass booth for smokers. It looks like a bus stop.

I'm in there at 7 in the morning by myself, and there's like 10 people looking in, watching me. I felt like a fucking polar bear. I'm like a fucking polar bear. Smokey the bear. We know it kills you. We know it's bad for you. How should I take this?

My wife's a smoker. She actually got me started on smoking a little bit, okay? I come down the stairs the other morning and there's a smoker. She actually got me started on smoking a little bit, okay? I come down the stairs the other morning, and there's a note on the kitchen table that says, I went grocery shopping, but I left you this. It's a cigarette. P.S. I love you. Might as well have left a fucking syringe

with AIDS all over it. Stick this into the head of your cock. I'll be home with some fresh carrots that you'll need. Stick this into the head of your cock, I'll be home with some fresh carrots that you'll need. Cosby, I was reading Bill Cosby today, I was reading the paper, he doesn't really like prison and uh... Everybody's so shocked when that story broke. Oh yeah, black rapist from Philly, what are the odds? I can hear two pussy liberals going, ah, the guys with Miller light cans,

you're the fucking assholes. Oh, that was racist. Have another beer and die, please. Black racist from Philly. I never liked Cosby, he's a fucking pompous asshole. I didn't like when he was telling young black kids to pull up their pants. Meanwhile, the last 30 years,

he's had his down to his ankles every fucking night. Shut your mouth, Billy. I know he's guilty of rape. I hate Bill Cosby. My Uncle Al loves Bill Cosby. So I took my Uncle Al to see Bill Cosby

in Atlantic City like 12 years ago. This is how I know he's guilty of rape. We went backstage after the show to meet him. I shake his hand. Next thing I remember,

I'm waking up in his hotel room. I'm on the floor wearing nothing but a Temple University T-shirt. I got Puddin' Pop rappers stuck to my ass and back. Also, I remember hearing this.

I'm gonna stick my dick in this little guinea's asshole. I'm gonna put my hair back. I was raped by Bill Cosby. True story. He's a fucking rapist. Look, I don't condone what he did, but I understand it. Ladies, let me explain

before you jump down my throat, okay? You women get a little long-winded at three in the morning when we're trying to fuck you. You know what I'm saying? I just spent 40 bucks on your red lobster. It's four in the morning. I finally got you on my couch.

I have to hear about your cousin's wedding in a Rubin X March. I finally got you on my couch. I have to hear about your cousin's wedding in Aruba next March. Fuck that shit. Look over there. Plop, plop, fizz, fizz. You better fuck me. I'll call Uber. Somebody's going to get laid.

It might be you. It might be me. I don't give a shit. Fuck. That wasn't a very good Cosby impression I did earlier. All my black comedian friends do a great Bill Cosby. They have him raping everybody in their act. They have a new 10 jokes every week.

I do a great Popeye impression. If Popeye goes on a raping spree, I'll have a new half-eye. Suck me dick, it's consensual. Tongue me nuts. I'll have a new half-eye. Skibbidibidibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibib Yeah, I don't condone what he did, but he's a serial rapist, Bill Cosby. When you hear serial and crime, you think white guy off the bat. Ninety-nine percent serial killers are white guys, right? Yes, the answer will be yes, fuckfaces. Look, I'm as biased as anybody. Boy, this is a real right-wing town.

No, that's not true. I don't give a shit what your stats are. There's a lot of black fucking child rapists. The serial killers are mostly fucking white. Remember Patrice O'Neil, my fat black friend, the fucking great... Okay, he hated white people. Relax with your applause, all right? Now listen.

But we always argued about that. He always said, white boys are the serial killers of white boys. I'd be watching the news. There'd be a story about a serial killer. My phone would ring. I'd pick it up, and all I'd hear is, white boy, click. It's fucking Patrice.

And I thought about it, and he's right. You know, most serial killers are white, but you know why? To be a serial killer takes a lot of effort. It's like a full-time job. to be a serial killer takes a lot of effort. It's like a full-time job. It's true. You've got to follow

the kid around his elementary school for six months and you have to go online for like 12 hours to find out what kind of chemicals dissolve bones

in a tub in 10 minutes. It's not like black crime. You know, you step on somebody's foot in the champagne room at a titty bar, so you shoot them on the dance floor 30 seconds later. Gee, I wonder if the detectives can figure this one out. This is a real puzzle. Black crime is just quick and fucking simple.

You know that show, The First 48? They have a new one, The First 48 Seconds. It's just black crimes. Wow, the balcony's packed, too. Holy shit. Nice going, Goho. And, yeah, I noticed he wasn't lumped in in the hashtag Me Too thing, Cosby. Apparently, he was above that.

He was actually pissed about it. His wife's still defending Cosby. He didn't do anything wrong. Bill's next door. He's got like pubes in his teeth. I didn't do shit, man. Fucking hashtag me too. What a crock of shit.

Okay, let's... I was with that movement for a few minutes. Then you took it way too far like most you lesbians do you go fucking crazy You know You know what I learned from hashtag me too from the whole thing guys are just hornier than women That's all I learned from that whole thing I asked my wife is that who's horny and men and women my wife because that's about even and Then I proceeded to tell her this story,

and she hasn't brought the subject up in about two years. Hey, guys are just horny. When I was 14 years old, going through puberty, I used to fuck my bed pillow until I came at least three times a week. By the time Friday rolled around, it was like sleeping on a microwave oven. I couldn't tell. Are there any statute of limitations on these hashtag me too? rolled around. It was like sleeping on a microwave oven. I couldn't tell.

Are there any statute of limitations on these hashtag MeToo? Guys are being sued for rape 25 years later. I'm in a case right now. A woman sued me. The case is 51 years old. She said I kept touching her tits. And I'm like, yeah, it's called breastfeeding, Mom. Get off the fucking, let it go. But like Harvey Weinstein is a piece of shit. He should be in jail. He's a fucking legitimate rapist in my opinion. Okay?

But don't lump him in with my buddy Louie who likes to whip his prick out next to the punch ball every few fucking weeks. I mean, come on, we've all done that, right? Fellas?

Sometimes you're out with a girl on a date and she's not picking up the vibe how much you like her. You have to give her a hint. You know, fucking... What the fuck? One of those girls said she has post-traumatic stress syndrome from seeing Louis' dick. Oh, really? That's the equivalent? Seeing a guy's cock is the equivalent of watching your buddy being blown up in fucking Iraq with an IED, you whore. Really? Louie was my old roommate. I lived with him for a year and a half

back in the 90s. I saw his dick maybe 12 times. I'd say 4 times consensually, to be honest with you. But, you know. Hey, boys and girls and everything in between, for those of you on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of the show. Everyone else, you've got to go to nickdip.com and join to get my full show, to get Steve and Crowder's full show.

You've got Alex Jones, Brian Callen, and a whole lot more. And while you're at nickdip.com, if you see a thing that says tour button, click on that, and it'll give you where I'm going to be this fall. I'll tell you right now, September 15th, Rob's Playhouse Theater in Buffalo, New York. The next night on the 16th of September, the Santander Arena, Reading, Pennsylvania, with Greg Gutfeld and a few more really funny dudes. Looking forward to that. And then finally, on the 17th, three nights in a row I'm working, Hilarity's Comedy Club, which is a beautiful club that Nick Costa built, and it kept that area alive. In Cleveland, Ohio, Hilarity's one night only. So I hope I see you there. guitar solo We'll see you next time.