The Nick DiPaolo Show - Spencer Pratt Smells A Rat | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1907

Episode Date: June 8, 2026

In today's episode Nick talks about LA's Cheating Election, Trump & The Crooked Press, Literal Puppy Chow, Imperfect Piss, Boston & Period Pride, Black Crime and a Peeping Tom Falls To His Death! The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow GET TOUR DATES & TICKETS - https://www.nickdip.com/tour NOVEMBER 5TH - The Punchline: ATLANTA, GA NOVEMBER 6TH - Rivers Casino: PHILADELPHIA, PA NOVEMBER 7TH - Soul Joel's: POTTSTOWN, PA MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

Now you just can't leave. Hi. Welcome to Bruce's Donuts Shop. Excuse me. Crawlers, today's special. Welcome to the live lineup where it's free shows all day. And if you want to watch Ad Free, just join Rumble Premium. Don't forget to follow my channel and download the Rumble application thing.

Today I'll be talking about, uh, what did I tell you guys about L.A.? We'll be talking about that election and how predictable it is for people who follow politics. Trump nicely goes off on a meet the press host. Been waiting for that for years. We have something, a story, it's kind of said, literal puppy child. That can't be good. Imperfect Piss. I like how I write them, Dallas translates into it.

And I don't remember what they're about, so it's kind of fun for me to see what's coming. Boston and period pride. And it's not what you think it is. And a great, once again, another guy bit by a shark. Hey, here's a fucking rule, Australia. Stay out of the water. I don't know. I heard they hang out there.

They get cable. Anyhow, welcome to the live lineup. Hey, first of all, happy birthday to a girl. Sherry, I always want to say Cherry. because it's spelled like Cherry. Right? Sherry? Happy birthday. I won't say how old you are. But you don't look your age, and I'm not just saying that.

It's fucking kind of freakish, and you're white. Very surprising. And she looks great. I would put a picture up, but then you guys might, I don't know, the internet. She's like, she monitors a chat room. You'll hunt her down because she told you to shut up. That's how the fucking world works today. You know, my favorite part of people who do streaming live shows, whether it's somebody teaching guitar or cooking, they always have to do a, it's the word I'm looking for, sort of a preempt attack.

They have to go, okay, before you go, that's not a G-core. That's not how we play. They always have to do something like that. I know you use, you don't put onions in this. They always have to tell the people they're expecting a shitstorm. Yeah, well, we have like five disclaimers up front. Takes about two minutes. Yeah.

Just disclaimers. What on this show? Yeah, just in general, what you're talking about. Hmm. Yeah. They always have to pre-act, they know it's common because there's so many assholes. Not everybody was meant to give a voice, to have a voice in public. I know this is a great idea.

This democracy and shit, but you know what? Sometimes China makes a lot of sense. Shut your fucking mouth. You ignorant sluts on the left, most of you. Wrote, I actually did some rewriting. I just wanted a taste of what it's like to rewrite your own shit. And I guess writers do it differently. Some of them you write the whole draft first and then go back,

which is what I plan on doing mostly. But some people like to go right back a week later or whatever and rewrite or whatever. Everybody has a different, whatever the fuck. But I went back, and I like to reread the last two pages of what I wrote before I start the next one. And I'm like, this is going to be way funnier. And Andy actually gave me a tip that this is how I know I'm getting old, and I'm a comic. It's like rule number one, hyperbole, exaggeration.

It's my favorite device. And I was trying to describe my date being disinterested in the shitty movie that I took her to. And at first I initially used something that was sort of like what somebody might actually do, counting the ceiling tiles or some shit. But I'm like, that's not really, and I think Andy said, no, make it really, you know, ridiculous. So I think I chose some good, I'm giving you guys, I'm giving you guys the whole book, but I switched it from her rifling through her purse, looking for a piece of dump for 10 minutes, or I changed it to

I look over because I wanted to know if she liked the movie or not. I'm looking over her to give me like a thumbs up. She's using that thumb and her index finger to do a shadow puppet on her chest from the light from the screen. Much better, right? I go, it was supposed to be a dog barking,

but it looked more like a baseball player with a hat on yelling at an hump. So I gave her C-minus or whatever. And then I go, and I go, not only was she doing that, I added more to that part too, it got even funny. Then I go, oh, and the other thing, like 15 minutes later, she's trying to lance a boil in the back of this guy's neck sitting in front of her with tweezers. And I'm like, okay, maybe I was exaggerate. Pretty funny, actually. I think it's the best shit I've written so far.

When I go back and look at the meldins, thank God they're retarded people and it's just funny on their own, but I think this shit's way better. Anyways, what else? These teeth, I got the thing in, but they're on top of, the guy kept my gums open. I got like three or four stitches in there. Now I put this fake teeth on top of that. Fucking today it hurts.

I'd be propin, fucking, actually took hydrocodone or whatever the fuck it is last night. What the fuck, dude? Never had problems with my teeth growing up. And I'm having my period. What a week. Anybody watch the NHL?

First. Finals. Anyways, real quick. Carolina versus Vegas. Not a big ratings banza for the NHL, but two really evenly match teams, unbelievably even match. Game one was at Carolina and Vegas.

They exchanged goals in about five minutes left to three different goals. Vegas gets one like two minutes left. left and wins it in game one. The next game, Vegas is up to nothing. Like in the middle of the third period, late in the game,

third period, fucking the Keynes pulled their goalie. You know, Keynes got one back, late, pull their goalie and score. I'm getting it wrong. Anyways, then the cane scored again in fucking three, two.

And everybody's like, those are the two greatest games to start a series ever. Then, game three in Vegas. Vegas is up four to nothing. Halfway through the third, well, a little more than half way through the, a little less than halfway through the period, third period. And people, you know, the evening announcers are like, well, they're looking towards the next game.

It's four nothing. In hockey, you're not going to get five goals. And they get one. What about 10 and 11 minutes left? Okay, that's, you know, whatever garbage goal they call it. Oh, they got another one. About two minutes later, it's four. Now it's a bit of a game.

And then I leave the road. room like a shithead after that second go to do something with my medication in the other room. I usually pause the TV and I go, do I hear the announcers yelling? And I went, oh, no, probably showing the replay. I go back in. I start watching the game again. I look up, it's four three. Somebody scored 10 seconds later or 15 seconds later after saying, four three.

and then they tie it. Just, they crash the net. People are falling on the goalie. And a puck just slides through a thousand people. It only could happen in hockey. Next, you know, it's four to four. The fucking Vegas is, the place is silent. Like, you've got to be kidding.

Goes into overtime. Fucking Vegas scores like three minutes into overtime. Guys, again, I know you're sick of me talking about how great playoff hockey is. This is even great for the, how, I'm not. I don't even doing it justice. People talking about the World Cup? Suck a fucking bag of shit. Oh my God, what a crushing bore.

Anyhow. Red Sox, they take the first one from the Yanks, then they get rained out, and then yesterday it's one to one. We have a good bullpen this year, but of course not yesterday. They give up like sixth in the fucking bottom of the eighth, and the woes continue. Boy, and the good guys that are hurt are really hurt. I looked at a paper.

It's like 60-day disabled. What's he got cancer? I thought he just had a fucking swollen knee. Anyways, enough of that shit. Hope you guys had a good weekend doing nothing. That's what America's about. Excuse me. Headline, I told you so.

I hate to say that, but somebody else to say it. Los Angeles City Council member, Nathia Ramon, or Rahman. Who's going to vote for a woman who's named after something college kids eat every day on a budget. Indian women, when they're good looking, they're good looking, though. Who's that chef, Dallas? You know what I'm talking about? There's an Indian woman who had a cooking show. She looks like a fucking movie star.

But who wants, what good is that when she's farting next to you in bed? Yeah. Yeah, Kulman. Smells like a Mexican guy who just worked 19 hours. You ever notice that? Kuman smells just like B.O. I pointed that out to my wife, and I roared it. Now I can't put Kuman in anything.

You won't eat anything with Coleman. Anyways. So, yeah, Nathia Ramon has overtaken reality star, television star, Spencer Pratt, and the latest AP vote count. Although the outlet has not called the race, of course not. That would make it look too obvious. Pratt, a Republican, had led early in the day, but the latest tally now shows Ramon, a Roman, a Democrat, ahead by more than 3,000 votes, or about 0.4 percentage points in the official. official, get this, nonpartisan mayoral race.

Do you guys what I said? Do you remember what I said to you when he was nipping at Bass's heels last week I said, it doesn't matter. They're not going to let him win. It's like a Marxist country, California. You really think elections aren't rigged?

Newsom changed all the laws so you can count votes fucking three weeks after it's over. So they have plenty of time to pull all kinds of shenanigans. You have to be retarded to believe. It's just so predictable and they are so crooked. And like I said to Dell, I said it last week.

It's like trying to, it's running against Putin. Or Jing Ping in China. You really think those are legitimate? I'll say it again. I'm so cynical about our elections. I don't believe there. I don't even understand how like every once in a while, I guess they have to throw a Bush or a Reagan or a,

Trump in there just to make pretend. We're not on our way to fucking full-blown Marxism. That's what it feels like to me. But California, there's no doubt about it. Total bullshit. And boy, Trump

brought that up on a story I'll be doing after this one. Anyways, incumbent mayor, Karen Bass, who's proven to be the stupidest she goes to Cuba three times

a year. You know what? Seems like a nice lady, but just she not? You're fucking hateful to what? And I hope you die tonight. Oh, I don't give a fuck. Somebody throws a toaster, toaster oven, they don't have those anymore.

Stick your head in the oven yourself, like Elton John try. Mayor Carambe has already advanced to a runoff as she seeks a second term. She is now waiting for the candidate she will face in the runoff as AP has not yet called a second candidate to advance. But

Cameron Bass is, well, well, I don't want to break up the meeting or nothing, but she's something of a cunt, ain't she, Doc? How do you mean that? She likes a rigged game, you know what I mean? That was R.P. McMarfey

reporting. In Los Angeles, nonpartisan mayoral election, if no candidate wins a majority in the primary, the top two of Boat-Gettors advance to the November runoff. L.A. County, continues to count ballots postmarked on or before election day and received by June 9th, drawing the attention of the Republican National Committee after fucking 80 years of them doing it.

Well, maybe not. Maybe Newsom just changed it. I don't know. Anyways, it's so obvious. No, we need more time. Do you remember when Trump supposedly lost? Do you remember in the middle of the night, Biden went to bed losing? and then there was a spike of 180,000 votes in the middle of the night?

Eat a bag of shit, please. County officials must complete final official results by July 2nd, and the Secretary of State will certify the results by November of 3036. California's vote count often extends beyond election day because they're Marxist, communist cock suckers who like to cheat. I just put that in there, as opposed to said, because every act of registered voter receives a mail ballot. Ballots postmarked election day may arrive up to seven days later.

And election workers must verify signatures and process late arriving ballots, which we know they didn't when Trump lies. The California primary ended on June 2nd. What's today? 9th? 8th. Yet California is still counting ballots. The RNC website track and counting the seconds since the point.

Holes, Close reads, the state's election system is a complete joke. The RNC is tracking every hour it takes California to finish the count, it added. I despise it with every fiber of my being. Pratt and other Republicans have decried the ongoing ballot count in the race. Election officials and voting experts have said California's extended count is largely driven by state mail ballot rules, signature verification. in the processing of late arriving ballots.

When Gavin Newsom was elected, governor of California, you knew who was elected in a day or two days. Now it takes more than a week. Almost a month, somebody said. Yeah, that doesn't smell. You've got to hand it to him. Any means necessary. They really, they really took Philip Wilson's

black comedian from the 70. They really took Cedric the entertainers quote and ran with it. Hey guys and girls, I know it's very early to be saying this, but November 5th, I'll be at the punchline, Atlanta, Georgia. Again, it'll mark probably a year almost of the day that I've done stand-up, so it could be horrendously funny on a bad type of thing. November 6, Rivers Casino, Philly, maybe some of the rest will be off by then,

and then I'll bomb completely. It sold Joles in Potsdam on November 7th. You want to see me go up in flames, go to Nick Dip.com, get your tickets before this. I'm actually nervous now about it. It'll be like doing comedy for the first time. Everybody remembers the first time. It's quick and you end up crying the rest of the night.

What? Merch. Go to the merch page at nickdib.com. We have all kinds of stuff there to support the show. Hats, hoodies, t-shirts. Wear it and piss off the right people. Also, if you want to send a personalized video to someone, I'll say what you're thinking so you don't have to.

Go, you can book that at shoutout.us. Also, before I forget, I will be on the Crowder show live in Texas, Wednesday and Thursday of this week. So, you'll get one more show for me tomorrow and then on a plane. All right. All right, don't forget to watch because I have a blast when I'm there. It's actually fun. I'm actually, and when I'm sitting there laughing, I'm making it. jokes, I'm learning, because they go into such

minutia. Otherwise known as details about the truth. Let's move on to my favorite clip. And why President Trump will always go down is my favorite. I used to sit there when George W. Bush was a president

and go, will you fucking answer some of these lies this saying about you and about the Republican? Will you punch back a little? Turn the other cheek. Stick the Bible up your dad. I can't say that. I don't get the Bible. Doesn't it say turn the other cheek sometimes?

Then it says an eye for an eye. Make up your mind. Do you get eyes in your ass? Help me out. I'm confused. President Trump walked off a fiery interview with Meet the Press host, Kristen, I think it's Chris.

I made it up. I couldn't. I was too tied to look. Kristen Welker. You know, Kristen. He's a little whore and a little piece of trash. Yeah. She looks like the Indian woman.

The friction piece. when Welker challenged his claims that California's ongoing primary vote counts or a sign of cheating. Foreign policy and Iran, Trump discussed the ongoing war with Iran, claiming he had demolished the Iranian Navy and Air Force within three months. He stated he would work with Iran to destroy its highly enriched uranium if a peace deal is reached. That's all, I think it's all silly. I don't know why they parked a tractor and put hay in the Oval Office, but it looks silly. Anti-weaponization, they talked about. He had an anti-weaponization fund.

Remember, Trump defended a controversial $1.8 billion fund intended to compensate those he claims. I love how they do that, too. How about those who are targeted, since we know it's fact now, since the FBI has the receipts, politicized prosecutions. He did not explicitly rule out using the fund. to pay January 6 rioters who assaulted people stating he wouldn't be inclined but would have to see it

is assaulted people. Election claims Welka pushed back against Trump's assertions that the 2020 election was stolen. Push back by going, do you have any proof? Yeah, I'm going to show you the fucking five years of research

that we've dug up and proof right now in an 10-minute interview. You dumb ho? That's what he should say. Noting a lack of evidence. Can you tell whoever, oh, this is AI, by the way. Can you feel the left-wing bias in what I'm reading to you? Just to let you know that AI is on the take, and I told the machine itself, and we argued,

and they said they were coming to my house. Sure enough, man. Looked out on the lawn this morning. There's a laptop coming at me. What? Yeah, noting a lack of evidence presented in court. Let me real quick, because we've been over a million times. People go, they threw it out of court,

saying it was a button. No, they didn't even let it into court, if you remember. The shit Giuliani was digging up. Anyways, Trump counted by calling Welker a smelly fishhole, which I thought was right on the money. No, either crooked or you're stupid, he said. He's doing that more and more now. Logistics.

The interview took place at Custer Farms in Wisconsin. Oh, okay. I thought it was Larry Byrd's front yard. Despite the walk-off, Welker later reported that Trump agreed to a follow-up interview at a later date. Yeah, good luck, nail him down for a. You know why he did that? Welker, you're going to walk into a trap. He's going to dig up all the shit.

He's going to play you, hopefully. Let's take a look at the, uh, Trump looks good. He looks healthy now. It's not orange. It's a real tan. Somebody should have told him that years ago. If he would just let the hair, I guess that's in natural color. Some people don't go great.

But anyways, it's got the fucking hair of Farah Fawcett. What? Okay, here's him telling meet the press host that she's full of chat. Four days, and they aren't even close to coming up with them. You know why they're doing that? Because they're cheating on the election. Do you have evidence to support that? All I have to do is look.

All I have to do is look. That's not evidence. And I listen to people, and let's see what happens. But, sir, that's not evidence. Pause, pause. See, I understand because he's getting a little emotion. I'm the last one to tell you how to argue. But right there, you've got to go,

there's evidence and it's coming out. As we speak, we're digging it up, you know? And not, I just have to look. That doesn't help your argument. But you know what? Go ahead. That's how they count the votes in California. Do you think it's appropriate?

that they have an election and five days later they're nowhere close to pick any one. State local officials acknowledge they are slow, they're urging. No, they're crooked. They're urging. That's right. You hear her argument? They're acknowledging that they're slow. You fucking whew.

Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. That's how he should have ended it. Oops, go ahead. They're counted quicker. That's how they vote in California. They're crooked. You're crooked. You're crooked.

And meet the press is crooked. To be fair, I'm not crooked. But let's, well, you play right into their hands in. Let's continue. You're either crooked or you're stupid. You play right into their hands with a strap. You know that these elections are rigged. Your network knows that they're rigged.

You know that I'm getting hard right. And I got 94% bad press. But Mr. President, you know why I got that? Because you have no credibility. But you've never presented evidence that it was rigged. Let's keep talking about. I want to talk about it. Pause.

She says a statement like that and wants to move on. in an interview that obviously it would take four hours to talk about things like this and in a perfect world that's how it would work TV wouldn't be these sound bites and five minute interviews and ten minute interviews they'd be long form and don't tell me people wouldn't tune in thank you very good look at fucking rogue and by the way who got very popular when he started talking like I did politically anyhow um once in my life I'm ahead the curve and it hurt me. Only my living. Anyways, nice going. She's hot though. I'd like to spank her. I'd like to bend her over that hay bale. I can give her a fucking tan her bottom.

You're naughty liar. Now make me a lobster BLT with one hand and jack me with the other, you pig. Anyways, let's move on to puppy chow. I thought the... Puppie chow. You know the dog, the chow? It's a dog called a chower. Is that Chinese or Japanese? I think it's a chick, ain't it? Anyways, a celebrity pooch with more than 1.5 million followers. Did you just hear that? A dog has 90,000 times more followers than I do.

Was allegedly snatched from his family's farm in China, then sold for just 26 bucks to a restaurant where he was slaughtered and eaten in the same. day. Delicious. Thank you. See how cute that dog is? The horrific, look at that.

Look at that thing. It looks like a, it's got collie in it and husky and a little bit of Jew and Polak. Excuse me. The horrific ordeal has left his devastated owner, Chinese travel influencer Guo. Have you had the Guo? Who amassed the huge following on Diyin, the Chinese version of TikTok. I thought we had the Chinese. version of TikTok.

Guo left his beloved dog. So they actually did make another one for us, dumb Americans. You go over to their TikTok. They'll have a story like this, but they'll also have kids doing math problems and try to solve this. Guo left his beloved dog with his

parents while traveling when a man and a woman on an electric scooter were caught on surveillance footage, taking the animal from the Shanghai farm on May 11th. The panicked family immediately alerted local authorities and offered a reward for Chutu when they realized he was missing. And then a day later, they found two and a half cups of sticky white rice with a collar in it.

But when Guo returned from his trip, he tracked down the suspects in a neighboring village where they reportedly claimed they thought the pup was astray, or as they say, a sleigh. It admitted a sleigh. and admitted to selling him to a dog trader for 180 which is worth about $26.50. The dog, this is what the people who the suspect said to the guy, the dog's dead, start making a fuss.

Boy, those Chinese are sensitive people. They really are ruthless, man. But you know what? Read about the, I'm not going to forget the war, the name of the war now. But when China and Japanese went to war, you want to see Ropes? Check out what the Japanese did to the China.

Holy moly. What I'm trying to say is slant the eyes, bad. Round eyes, good. No, I kid. I did not break the law. This is the person they accused. The dog's dead stopped making a fuss. I did not break the law.

One of the alleged thieves callously told the rattled caretaker during the exchange, according to the outlet. I kill you. I kill you right now. Kill me. I'm right here. Kill me. Okay, I come with two chopsticks.

I shove up your ears. Oh, shoe shopstick. Come over here. Talk to me in the face. Like some booty. My favorite part of that is talk to me in the face. That's what I'm going to have said on my headstone. Chow two, that's a dog, whose owner said was actually worth at least $10,000.

Isn't that cute? It got a pink nose like a rabbit. The heart broken dog owner is now seeking criminal charges against the alleged thieves and compensation for the loss of the famous dog. Yeah, I wouldn't hold my breath over there in China. You'll probably have Xi Ping, one of his guys, call and go, it was delicious. Let it go.

You know, you know how it is. Speak on a delicious. Who pissed on my pancakes? That's the headline. There are many culprits that can change the smell of urine, such as asparagus or Brussels sprouts, which can cause a rotten egg smell. or a fishy odor due to an STI.

Oh, boy, I'm getting hungry. Listen to this article. Look at this little petite thing. Why are you shitting with your pants up? That's mistake number one. Look, she's killing the plant next to it. It's starting to pass out. It's falling backwards.

Oftentimes health conditions are the car. And I do, I like asparagus, but Jesus. I go ogled that I forget already. Why? just a chemical reaction or whatever the fuck. It doesn't do it with me with Brussels sprouts. They just give me the shits for the next three days. But you're not supposed to eat 40 pounds of them either.

Roasted Brussels, but how good are those? Mother of God. Little bacon, whatever. Oftentimes health conditions. That's what we do in this country. We take healthy food and turn it into a heart attack. Put bacon on ice cream. They do, actually.

Anyways, the cause of the unusual smell P breaks, including maple syrup urine. It's known as MSUD, M-SUD, M-Sud. A potentially life-threatening condition. What? You shit-kicking, stinky horseman who's smelling, motherfucker, you? That's an angry doctor. A rare genetic disorder, often affecting infants and children.

This condition is a metabolic disorder that disrupts how the body breaks down food and results in death if left untreated. What? Bye, bye. Oh, for the love of God. Don't they love to spread the fear? Okay, I'll stop eating healthy. Anything else you want to tell me?

It's one of my favorite bits. Don't eat carbs. Raises your triglyceride. Don't eat fat. Bad for your cholesterol. I'm down to pussy and skittles. Doesn't that sound like a diet? Dennis Robinon was on for you?

Skittled pussy diet. Those with MSUD, sounds like a rapper from Poland, those with MSUD have trouble breaking down three amino acids, Mo, Curly and Larry, the building blocks of protein, and those amino acids are lucine, isyloosine, and valine. The causes amino acids to build up, they mean it causes, amino acids. along with their toxic byproducts resulting in urine, earwax, or sweat that smells like maple syrup of burnt sugar. Now, there you go. Why not?

Delicious. I thought I was doing too many of the time. Well, now why, this is weird God messed up a little bit. Now, why couldn't our fart smell like maple syrup? Wouldn't that be a lot more pleasant than a dead body under somebody's house for six years? Ah, God. Anyways, there are four types of the disease. You get the classic.

What is this? Tomato sauce. Classic or the most common and severe form occurs within 48 hours after birth, intermediate while less severe than classic MS. It's like a, you know, it's like MSSUD light. Often appears in children between five months old and seven years old. Intermittent MSSAT occurs after an infection. or a period of stress in children.

Well, again, where's the stress coming from when you're five months old? You know what I mean? Oh, no, I'm going to shit myself. You can. Relax. Thiamine responsive is treated with high doses of vitamin B1 and a restricted diet. Well, MSUD is extremely rare. It affects about one in every 185,000 babies. Oh, fuck it, who cares?

Around the world. Certain populations with small gene pools, like the Ashkenazi Jews, who, by the way, if you look at IQs of all different ethnicities, they are at the very top. Small percentage of Jews. I think Gutfeld said he's part. I was busting his balls about that.

And Mennonites. What? Apparently Mennonites when they pee. It smells like I'm able to. Experience higher occurrences. Let's take a look at video. We've got to get your pee pee in here. Why?

Because I got to test it. You need to taste it? You need to taste it? Again, it sounds like a German girl I did it. Yes, I do. Von Schnoozel. You need to taste it? You got to get your pee-in here.

Sounds like my priest when I was an alter boy. If left untreated, the illness can worsen and cause a metabolic crisis. or when the ability to break down food malfunctions. Yeah, that's not good. Puppy chow. Signs of a metabolic crisis can include abnormal muscle spasms, seizures, vomiting, or coma. It's funny because spasms and coma are on the separate ends of the spani.

You're either laying there like a fucking zombie or you're doing front handsprings in the front lawn. Goodness, gracious, Halloween. Hey, I had a metabolic crisis. Oh, got a other quick one for you. So I have my little sepsis incident, right? And then Kyle Bush, why? It's so funny you're bringing that up because a headline.

Don't tell me he came back to life. No. Literally just came to Kurt Bush, his brother, break silence on brother Kyle's death. Literally, as you were saying. Oh, no shit. No shit. So, well, if it didn't change, it was sepsis that got him

I met Boommies and the bartender goes to me you know that kid you know that guy Jason I met him Was it Jason? Doesn't matter his name but

I can't remember I think it was Jason Anyways I met him at Boomys a couple times He was bitten by a spider Fucking brown reclose by the way Even I know those aren't good

Anything brown black You're gonna kill you with a knife of venom gun. Anyways, he was bitten like a year ago and the knee got infected. Luckily, they got the venom out or whatever the fuck. Somehow I get infected. And they've been treating it for like a year.

Well, it went septic. Had to have his lower leg removed from the knee down. Like last week. it's so funny I was familiar with sepsis and I knew it was a little dangerous but all of a sudden my life you know

all of a sudden maybe you just notice it more after that happened I don't know but what the fuck have you ever met somebody who had sepsis holy fucking God anyways I'm just glad my wife yanked me out of that bed

and my sister made a great point to depress me the rest of my life my sister Donna goes good thing you weren't on the road I didn't Yeah If I was on I would have been another

Bob Sagitt Yeah he was going to do a show It could have happened like Crowder Imagine Crowder's like Where's DePaolo? They call the hotel Can you do a wellness check in 406?

There's a funny odor coming out of it It's a maple Let's call It smells like maple syrup Let me call the kitchen Did he have room service last night? Yes he had the asparagus salad in the fucking anyways.

But in that fucking weird guy loses half his leg. Nothing to play with. Let's move on to Boston Blue Bloods, seeing red. On June 17th, Mass Now, whatever that is, just the name of it. You know, like MS Now, that's what MSNBC changed the name,

thinking it's going to fool her. In partnership with the Massachusetts transpolitical coalition, I thought it was going to be mass transit authority. political, we'll put on its third annual Trans-period Pride. Excuse me. What is that?

We'll buckle up. A, and I quote, consciousness raising, unquote, event featuring a group discussion on menstrual equity and the experiences of transmenstrual aid is a catered dinner and free period underwear for attendees.

This is, you guys on the left, you've turned into a parody. Where's the right-wing SNL show? Are you fucking kidding me? I'll be the head writer. But you have to let me able to say fucking twat and pits on NBC.

And I want it on 10.30 so the kids can hear it. God damn right. You believe what I just read? Menstrual equity. This is the girl. who did the story, I think, for Blaze TV. Very good.

Something stuckie. Ellie, Stuckie? Stuck in an alley? Something like that. Mass now in the MA trans political coalition for a consciousness-raising discussion of menstrual equity and the experiences of trans minstriators. So I guess it's men who, no, no, women who identify as men.

And don't worry, you get free period underwear provided to all attendees. Where do I sign up? If I could I grab this microphone, I beat your brains out with it because that's what she deserves. That's what she deserve. That and a pair of underwear. But this isn't some privately funded event, okay? Democrat May and Michelle Wu's office, I don't believe she'd get elected either. I'll say it again.

I don't believe any of this shit. Just look around. Cameron Bass is a hard fucking communist. So is this broad. Okay, maybe a little light, communist lay. Just look around at the blue cities. Don't tell me the fucking people that live there voted for this shit.

Democrat Mayor Michelle Wu's office of LGBTQ plus assholes advancement, which receives nearly $1 million annually from the city budget. You know what that means? Is officially co-sponsoring

the event. In other words, Boston taxpayers are being forced to bankroll this event while the city faces a nearly $50 million budget deficit. It's not going to be long before you all kill yourselves because you're all crazy. And you can project it back on me. Well said, that was FDR when he fell out of his wheelchair.

Let me name the presidents for you. George Washington. It's hard when people are watching. Good night, everybody. George Washington. John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, John Quincy Adams, Andrew Jackson, Van Buren, Harrison, William Henry Harrison, John Tyler, Polk, Zachary Taylor,

Millard Fillmore, Pierce, James Buchanan, Lincoln, Andrew Johnson, Ulysses S. Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, Garfield, Chester, Arthur, Grover Cleveland, Benjamin Harrison, then Grover Cleveland again, then McKinley, and then Teddy Roosevelt, then Taft, then Woodrow Wilson, then Harding, then Calvin Coolidge, then Hoover, then FDR, and And then Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Albie Johnson, Nixon, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush, Sr., Bill Clinton, Bush Jr., Barack Obama, a couple of times, Trump, Biden, Trump. He had to ruin it, but he's right. That's right. Trump, Trump, Trump. Got them all.

You can check my work. This is what I do. Anyways, but trans-period pride. That's in quotes, by the way. Hey, I'm proud of what? Bleeding for my snatch. Yeah, but you're a guy. I don't care.

I stab myself down there. I want to be a woman. Isn't the only absurdity Boston taxpayers are being forced to fund. In April, Mayor Wu's office, listen to this for immigrant advancement, partnered with non-popism, profit out newcomers.

Listen to all the layers of shit that you have to investigate. On the belonging matters program, belonging matters. It matters if you belong. Well, you don't belong here, which aim to provide, listen to this, $250 to $500 wellness allowance vouchers to low income, not just low income people, low-income, LGBTQ people. Migrants. Migrants, I'm sorry.

Just think about how insane that is. for non-clinical services such as yoga. So they're paying for gay illegals to do yoga, meditation, massages. Hair salon. First of all, the massages are run by fucking illegal, I'm guessing. Good hand job for seven bucks. Can't be American. Hair salon visit.

Gym memberships in creative healing. The public backlash was so intense that the program was paused within days of launching it. That's in dark, dark blue Massachusetts. She's too left for them, at least with that program. When are you taxpayers of mass going to stand up and go, not just mass, L.A., San Francisco, fucking Chicago, all the other shitholes. Just admit you're wrong. You know nothing about politics.

You know nothing about the way the world works or how people, us as a species, works. You have no fucking, why don't you do it? you do best. Go fucking write poetry or, you know, teach yoga or open a fucking smoothie shop, you useless fucks. Good night. Take care. It's my after you. Sickening, ain't it? Is it not sickening? Boston. Once a nice white, great racist city. Once a city where you could see beautiful things like a 12-year-old Irish kid and four of his friends throwing rocks at a bus full of black kids. The good old days. I used to get bust in to throw rocks. I lived in a suburbs.

No. I'm just saying. The politics were on that fucking city. It's embarrassing. And I was so right when they booed me. 15,000 people bunged me at the TD guard. Because I said

Jew to some woman. I go, I just some angry Jew brought from Peabody. Boy, that was fucking loud. One of the highlights of my career. That being booed off. Oh, Jesus. Remind me to write a chapter about and people eat this up, just

some horrible incidents, comedy wise. I'll start with evening at the Apollo. People laugh and just hearing that, going to Apollo, performing a front of all black. Oh, yes, I did. And I was chased off by the guy with a broom. You know what I'm talking about

Bill Cosby? Oh, all right. What? All right, let's move on to black crime because this could take a while. I was just going over the, you know, I have to go, I have to, I'm looking for stories. whether it's last night or, you know, this afternoon before I come here, I'm looking at the first store,

and at some point I'm overwhelmed by black this, black, that. It doesn't say it in the headlines, but all the really horrible, violent shit, well, here's what I'm, I'm going to have to make, I know, maybe make this a segment. I don't know. But this is what I was seeing today. And like almost right in the,

row folks. First one, grand finale. Wild scuffle involving cops, graduate parents, breaks out after a high school graduation ceremony as four were arrested. I forget even where, but I just saw it was a clip and it's a fat black woman laying on her back after somebody just knocked her, whatever. Okay, that's not even a bad one. McDonald's employee is in the ICU after co-worker allegedly threw hot oil on him. Of course, the nutbag. was black, threw it on a white kid who's I mean, going to be in the hospital for a while.

The kid's like, why would he do that? Well, I don't know, but you know what? Dude, you're never going to have to work again. McDonald's is going to have to step up big because you've got to vet your employees. And I'm sure the owner of the franchise will go to the corporation and say, hey, you get an insurance company, right?

I think I'm taking this on the fucking. So this is all today, by the way. Here's another one. Horrifying moment, car flips off the road, flinging a month old, four-month-old, I'm sorry, from the vehicle at high-speed chase. I should have showed you the clip. I mean, the thing is tumbling. He must have been going. He was being chased by the cops. He didn't have one kid in the car. He had four, four little kids in the car. The baby's flung out of the car. Then at the end of the story, it goes, this is why black people amaze me the kids suffered minor injuries this thing tumbled like you'd see in a movie

the only suffered minor they didn't say about the but that includes the fucking four-month-old too I guess they didn't say the baby was killed or how the fuck but can you imagine you got your little kids in a car and the car pulls you over and you take off

instead of, just think about that. Penn State student, 22 years old, this is the one that may be sick, shot and killed while trying to stop black kids from stealing his iPhone. Here's the worst part about this. You talk about hate crimes? They found the kid's phone at the scene,

so they didn't even take his phone. So that's a hate crime. They started off trying to take his phone, and he had the gall to, you know, chase them or whatever. So they kill him. Carmelo Anthony, that's its story that's been going on for a year, the black kid at a track meet who was asked to leave the other team's tent and started arguing with a kid and stabbed the kid to death.

For some reason, some reason, that's starting to get the momentum like the OJ case, like it's controversial, like there's any fucking reasoning or any way that you can back the argument that, yeah, he had a right to stab the kid of death. I mean, they were arguing about a seat. That's what it comes down to. not who provoked who, all that fucking whore. And there's a ton of eyewitnesses saying this punk, this is the kid who got $600 grand and a GoFundMe.

It wasn't a go-fund-me, but whatever black guy people use. You know, stabs a kid to death, high school kid. Then you got a commuter. I was wrong on this one, but commuter horror. Five stabbed in bloody attack inside Penn Station this weekend. And one attack, this morning or yesterday morning, the suspect happened to be, his name was Hispanic. So I take that one back.

I apologize, way off, about two shades. And then, again, these are all today, folks. Can you make that bigger or no? Just for this last one. I can't fucking see. Here you go. Former cop found guilty, black cop, if you had a listening on the radio,

of sexually assaulting 14-year-old runaway. on duty. That's just today, folks. But you have to go to the comments to really feel people are like, well, you know what? The government's never going to do anything. It's up to us. People don't want to take it in their own hands because if you look at a black person wrong, you'll lose your job. But at some point, you've got to go, you know what, it's worth losing my fucking job. So I could do that every day. But then I'd end up chasing stories like, that every day and not looking at the other shit. I'm just saying, what's your point?

You know my point is. Anthony Comia does this every day. 365. And I can understand why. Somebody has to keep count. You know? At some point, it may be, and it's not going to be

Trump, believe it or not, but some president's going to come along like Trump after I'm long gone. Maybe even you'll, and go enough. Here's what we're going to do. and, you know, and then, yes, I know, Nick. I know. Not all, I know. But somebody posts in the comments all the time.

People are naturally averse to snakes. Not because of their skin color, because some of them are good, some of them are bad, but you can't tell. So you avoid them at all costs. This is the guy posts this like every time. I argue with that fucking logic. Keep your head on a swivel. That's all I'm saying. If that's racist, fuck you.

Even around here, man. I come out of Bommies or whatever the fuck and somebody walking behind me, I fucking step to the side. You know? I always, that's just paranoia. Man, my fucking head shining today. Like, you know what?

What? I don't know. Anyways. That's that. Finally tonight on your sister's giant. Everybody knows you never go full retire. Oh, very good. In our West Coast Stupid segment,

a young man took a tragic plunge from a scenic California cliff overlooking a nude beach and Santa Cruz County early Saturday morning. I didn't know we had audio. The victim described as being in his early 20. Oh, God, early 20s fell from the cliff near Bonnie Dune Beach. Bonnie Dune Beach. That is on the Pacific Coast Highway, I can tell you. Guys, if you have never driven that highway, do yourself a favor.

It is the most beautiful fucking thing. At some point you're going, some points, you're going through clouds or fog coming off. It's fucking crazy. Anyways, he landed halfway down. The cliff, according to California firefighters. They used a rope system to recover the man's body. It's unclear how the man fell or what he was doing at the time.

I'm guessing he was trying to check out the naked beaver below, said somebody. Bonnie Dune. You ever have the Bonnie Dune? It's a Scottish dessert. The Bonny Dune. Bonneed Beach is situated near the Pacific Coast Highway and divided into a clothing optional and family-friendly section of the beach.

The nude section is located in a secluded area because in America we are ashamed of our private parts. And when you see the people who go to those beaches, you understand. They're hidden behind a rocky notch. between the cliff face and a large boulder near the waterline. And like I said, I've been to nude beaches in America. It's not quite the same. When you go on vacation to a St. Bartz or somewhere, Aruba,

and they have a nude beach. It's a lot of French. They're used to it. But they also, you know what else? They used to have eaten healthy. So they don't look like this is what you see. And that's just New Jersey at a regular beach. Imagine.

Thank you, Oprah, for again, empowering people like that. Don't be ashamed. You go, girl. Yeah, you go to the beach so people can roll you back into the water after you're dehydrated. Holy shit. Those are sea elephants, sea cows. All right, folks, that's it for a Monday. Again, don't forget the, tomorrow's the last show, and then you'll see me on

on a Friday and Thursday, and that's always fun. Cameo.com, if you want me to roast a friend or a relative, We go to cameo.com and click on the profile. We'll tell you how to do it. It's a lot of fun. That is it. You guys think it. I'll say it.

You're very welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow at the same time. Have a good rest of the day, everybody. Hi. Good night, everybody.