The Nick DiPaolo Show - SPLC Exposed As A Fraud | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1885

Episode Date: April 22, 2026

In today's episode, Nick talks about Grassley Vs. Scumbag Biden, Chris Murphy Traitorous, Maher and Harrelson High, A Bobcat Attack, A Mexican Rapist, Dershowitz Abandons Dems and SPLC Busted! The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow GET TOUR DATES & TICKETS - https://www.nickdip.com/tour MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

Look what you missed last night. I was literally getting a blood flow. I'm not kidding. My eyes are welling up. After every whistle. Welcome to the live lineup. I'll get to that in a second. You get free shows all day.

If you want to watch ad free, just join Rumble Premium. It's that easy. Don't forget to follow my channel. Download the Rumble app. and today I'll be talking about well at the top all bullshit about playoff hockey it's just I can't describe it

we'll be talking about Senator Grassley who's I don't know he's 111 he's always doing God's work he's shining the light I want a scumbag the Biden administration was you get Chris Murphy governor of New Jersey

who's the new left wing jerk off he replaces Swalwell as far as me hating we have Bill Omar and Woody Harrelson is high as a kite. You want to want to miss that clip. Great footage of a kid hunting who's attacked by a bobcat. And the big one, the southern,

hi, southern poverty law center. The DOJ dug deep into what they've been doing. It's mind-boggling, even in these days. It is unbelievable what they're guilty of. so sit tight for all that yes uh broans last night as you know game one a couple nights ago they're up two to nothing with eight minutes left and they lose they just choked they give up three goals and four minutes and just choked it down the toilet but they played well matter of fact they outplayed them the first two periods and then last night they go into buffalo and i'm going

oh boy that that that I I was wrong about this one I figured their heart was cut out after losing one like that they come out and just this team again I know you guys probably don't give a fuck but I've been watching them for 60 years these these guys play as hard as anybody and they can all put the puck in the net that's the difference and Buffalo Sabres first time in the playoffs in 14 years which is the longest streak ever at NHL and they ended up being number one seed So they're the favorite here. And they're big and they're fast and they're physical. Well, you know what?

They're any bigger, faster or physical than the Bruins. And the Bruins have won, like my brother said, five out of six periods if you want to be of the games they've played. Did they go, wait a way, how do I get three? Yeah, that's five, five. Four out of five? I don't know. Four out of the five periods. Anyhow, just, it was like 1975.

They hated each other back then. It was a wicked rivalry in the 70s. And after every whistle last night, there was cross-checking in the face, filthy, oh, just beautiful shit. Filthy stuff, stuff that nobody likes,

but hockey players. Fucking refs hate it. McAvoy comes in on a guy. And just, he's going 100 miles an hour. And just low is his ass. It used to be called the hip check. The guy does a,

I didn't even put it on the clip. Guy does a somersault like a football hit in the air. And right away, the whole Buffalo team goes after McAvoy. This generation is a little pussy like that. It's a clean fucking hit. Anytime there's a wicked hit, they go after a guy that did the hit whether it's dirty or not. I don't like that.

And that hit last night was perfect. He took him out with this, his side and his head. And just, my new favorite Bruin Zederov. He's 6'5, 200. 255, 260 pound Russian, who's as mean as he is big. And he plays like it's 1974 rules. He doesn't care. He doesn't care if he's going to get a penalty.

He led the league in penalties last year. He's leading it again. He takes a lot of stupid ones. But I go, you know what? We have to take that with his, they're all aggressive, so I'm taking it. Even after the whistle blows, if somebody's standing in front of the Bruins and that, he's going to take your fucking head off. He knows he's going to the box.

But you need that. It's like that element in football You go over the middle You're going to be scared Because you're going to get hit That's the same shit Anyways, please watch I've been preaching this

Since I started the show Please watch playoff hockey There's this fucking nothing like It's like a different sport And there's push it and shove it And after every whistle And you know why It's white guys who still care

You know what I'm saying? Nick what does that mean? I don't know I thought I said it's hockey A lot of white guys Ask Charles Barkley He loves it. He can't get enough playoff hockey.

Red Sox, Yankees, Red Sox fucking, once again, bats are as cold as Pelosi's tits, you know? Just, I made that political, worked it in. Wouldn't that, Kliber? Yeah, against the Yankees, P.U. Four, nothing, I think, shut out. They fucking, their bats haven't come alive yet. Well, they put up nine runs the day before,

but, you know, they hit them as. Anyhow, I think that's all that I get. Did I do anything yesterday? No, let's get on with it. I got a lot of show. And I don't know why I put the Southern Poverty Law Center story last. Because it's to me, it's, well, it's a second biggest one. I like this one too.

Chuck Grassley, Senator, proving what a scumbag the Biden administration was. Senator Chuck Grassley has obtained, remember Trump said we're going to dig up all the dirt once we're in there, has obtained new documents revealing that the Biden's FBI targeting of GOP lawmakers in the wake of the January 6th, you know, insurrection protest, was not limited to Operation Arctic Frost, that's what they called, but was rather part of a pattern of political weaponization, which we all know. But, you know, we have to uncover it so the rest of the world knows,

and the media can't keep going on lying about it, which they will. The documents obtained by Grassley and published by the Daily Caller provide insights into the nature and baselessness, of the Biden FBI's Rampart 12 investigation. Nice names. This clip is from October of last year and shows Grassley. This is from last year talking about what came to light, what he dug up this week, but he was predicting what was going to happen.

Take a look. The discovery from inside the FBI being called disturbing and outrageous. When taken in context with widespread government weapons, organization against Trump and conservatives in the last decade. The conducts arguably is worse than Watergate. Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley sharing this document listing names of people whose personal cell phone information was searched for quote tolling data, potentially to determine their locations and who they communicated with like toables.

Two days before and one day after the January 6th riots at the U.S. Capitol. The eight Republican senators and one House members say they were spied on. They were. They were tracking, excuse me, they were tracking their toll information. You go through a bridge toll to find out where they were and when. Okay? Makes Watergate look silly. I don't want to even bring them Watergate anymore.

It's silly. My Democrat colleagues want to ignore these facts and evidence and defend the fired officials who participated in, Biden's lawfare. As with Arctic Frost, this Biden FBI law fair campaign saw investigators obtained toll records, at least for Bobert and Gozar, those are two Republicans, toll records provide investigators with identifying information of callers, along with a date time location and length of the call. It's just fucking amazing to me what they get away. The Rampart 12 probe was launched on January 22nd.

2021, two days after Biden took office, okay? On the basis of bogus claims made by then reps, Mikey Cheryl, Democrat, New Jersey, and John Yarmouth, Democrat Kentucky, as well as Dem Reps, Stephen Coe in Tennessee. These claims specifically alleged that the Republicans may have assisted or conspired with persons, groups, or organizations who planned for organized the unlawful entry on January 6th of the United States Capitol building. For instance, Cheryl, now the governor of New Jersey, alleged in a 2021 video shared to Facebook that some lawmakers had brought groups of people, he said, into the Capitol ahead of January 6th to conduct recognizance, you know, to case the place for the next day.

Take a big step back and literally fuck your own face! That was Trump's comment. Tax messages between prosecutors reveal a desire by elements. at the Biden Justice Department to advance the case, despite an awareness that providing the Republicans intended harm when supposedly bringing people to the Capitol might be impossible. So they're being told by the DOJ, Biden's saying,

this is impossible to prove, and they go do it anyways. And that some of the imagery cited by the complainants does not look suspicious. So even their own DOJ, Biden's is going, and this isn't enough to convict, and they're going to do it. fucking, just when I get fired up, I got to sell shit. May 7th, punchline, Atlanta, Georgia.

May 8th, Soul Joel's Potsdown, PA. May 9th, Rivers Casino in Philadelphia. Go to Nick Dip.com for dates and tickets before they sold out. While you're there, go to the merch page. We have all kinds of stuff there. It supports the show, hats, hoodies, t-shirts, mugs. Wear it and piss up the right people. Also, if you want to send a personalized video to someone,

I'll say what you're thinking so you don't have to. Book it at shoutout.us. You can tell me what message you want to get out there. Let's move on to the new scumbag of the left. Just a piece of garbage. The northeast, fucking New York, Massachusetts, Jersey, Connecticut has produced more left-wing scum

in the last, I don't know how many years. Senator Chris Murphy, human garbage. That's the headline. I don't know who wrote it. It sounds like me. Senator Chris Murphy sparked a firestorm for bizarrely applauding our piece. applauding a disputed report that more than two dozen Iranian vessels have slipped through the ongoing U.S.

blockade. Awesome, Murphy posted on X Monday in response to a report from the shipping journals Lloyd's list claiming that at least 26, so-called Shadow Fleet vessels had allude of the American shipping siege. So in other words, he's openly applauding for the enemy. In response to the blowback, he caught a bunch of shit. That's the beauty of the Internet. Murphy insisted, and this is the first excuse everybody makes when they say something stupid. He was merely being sarcastic.

You're lying. And you're a piece of shit. Okay, Twitter, this is him posting on X. I can't believe I need to clarify this, but obviously Trump's bungled mismanagement of this war is not awesome. As I have said a million times here, it's a disaster, and he should end the war immediately. My tweet was something called sarcasm. Oh, really, you glib fucking sanctimonious cocksucker. Who gives a fuck what you think?

Amen, whoever said that. I think it was Jesus when somebody doubting Thomas or whatever. At least one Democratic staff agree that Murphy had gone too far. This is a Democratic staffer saying this. He said, stupid sarcasm over life or death issues is beneath the senator. Was it sarcasm? Certainly, the staffer insisted. but when so many on the far left have been openly cheering for the Iranian regime

and when Murphy has shown a willingness to play to the far left when it suits him politically, Republicans can hardly be blamed for taking him at his word. Well said by a Democrat snapper. How much more proof do you need? I can't wait to do the southern poverty law. You know why? Because I can't say it. I can't wait to get out of the way.

But Murphy 52 has been a staunch critic of the war in Iran. has repeatedly bashed the U.S. on the world stage over recent weeks. He trekked to Spain last week because he doesn't have the balls to say this shit in his own country to say this. Listen to this left wing. I want to bring you greetings as well from a nation that is in crisis. I'm not going to sugarcoat the gravity of what we face right now in the United States. This is the most significant. Yeah, you know what we face?

Zero inflation. Jobs are through the room. The stock markets through the roof. Zero illegal immigrants coming over. Oh my God, what a burden. What a fucking collapse of the United States. Go ahead, liar. Threat to American democracy since the Civil War.

Donald Trump in our country is trying to end our democracy. Shows are very political today, by the way. I know I said, you know, I try to throw on a couple light ones. It was too delicious this shit. Murphy's colleague, Senator Rick Scott, Florida, Republican, and blasted him as an embarrassment to the Senate and accused him of rooting for enemy terrorists who target and kill Americans.

And he said he should be stripped of his assignment to the Foreign Relations Committee now. Amen. Amen to that, I say. Isn't it unbelievable? That's what I'm saying. At what point do you cease to call them a legitimate political party and start going after them?

We might have reached that point with what... The DOJ dug up on the Southern Poverty Law Center. It's going to, it's anyways, let's move on. This is how I lighten it up by a couple of, Bill Maher, look, he's always going to be the enemy to me because his show on HBO rampant, 20 something, you're still running, right? Did more damage to perpetuate the left wing horse shit that we're trying to crush now. But he had a big hand in it. And he's like, you're an entertainer.

Yeah, with a big following. And it's all politics. And he used to bring on conservatives and Republicans, you know, mild-toed ones, not ones that would fight back. And then him and his guests, whoever it would be, you know, oh, Professor Dyson or Ben Affleck would gang up and just bull it. And the people would applaud that everything came out of Bill Maher's mouth. And then he finally woke up because he saw how fucking,

did they come after him for certain things he's saying? So now he gets it. And again, I blame it on weed. I swear to God, it's slow. I swear, if he didn't have writers, he wouldn't be able to do that fucking show. Anyway, speaking of weed, he has Woody Harrelson on. These two guys, there's no secret. They love their weed, which is fine.

Who doesn't like Woody Harrelson? And I like Bill Maher when he's high. He's actually smarter when he's high. But look how high they are. And Bill Maher says, fuck you, I can have my own friend. He's talking about the level. giving him shit in the press. But listen to how high they are.

Are we talking about the old ballet and awkward? I'm talking about what a fucking Hick guy is what we're talking about. Hey, I'm happy. I'm going to accept it. I love him. I'm poor white trash and I'm happy and proud of it. I don't think my mother would like to hear me say that. People are so mad at me because Kid Rock is my friend.

Fuck you. I'll be the friends of whoever I want. Yeah. You know, we have to stop this fucking just judgey, judgy, judgey, judge. Judge Judy. Judge Judy. Judge Judy. Ification of America.

That's my favorite moment in years from him. I love it. They're both too rich to, you know, get too upset. You know what I mean? Woody Harrelson's a lefty, but he's not an asshole about it. You know, Bill Maher is, but at least he's coming around. Fuck you. I'll decide who my friends are.

Sounds like me in high school to my parents. Bill and Woody were talking about politics and when basically he told the left to fuck off. That's it, right, for that video? So that was refreshing to me. Boy, they love their weed. Remember Woody Harrelson put out a line of clothes made a hemp? I bought a skirt, didn't fit, so I smoked it.

That would be so funny if I smoke weed. You know what it does to me, folks. I've told you many times on this show. I don't get high in giddy and shit. That Guinea paranoia is multiplied times a thousand, and it's really not pleasant to be around. All right, enough of that. And now for Nick's video of the day.

And the third round, pretend I'm Roger Goodell, the New York Jets select tight end Uga-Buga out of Zambique University. They plan on using him in a douche. dual role as a defensive end slash linebacker and as a tight end. He's got the size and the ability. All those kids around are going to go to the combine and run a 42. So we're looking at us. I just saw that and I go, I have to use this.

I have to fucking use. There's so much of that good shit on the internet that I don't, I'm like, is this a meme everybody's seen a thousand times? But who cares if it's used right is what I say. And that was Nick's video of the day. Oh, Sister Christian. What I eat last night? I can't remember.

I think I slept, folks. Here's some news for you. You know, I had to get up at 5 a.m. for the wife to go to the hospital and stuff. So, yeah, I was wiped out after doing the show. And she said, if you can stay awake and not take that power nap, you know. And I said, yeah, but then I'll miss all the hockey. I'll be unconscious.

But I fought through it. I stayed away. And by the time I was fast-forwarding through, you know, I record every game like a kid. And I'm watching the last two minutes of Tampa and, you know, whoever, Montreal. And I'm like, Jesus, I got to go to bed. And I just fucking, I was, I never say that.

I'm so tired, I've got to go to bed. And I went to bed. And I got to tell you, I don't remember waking up last night. Who knows? I could have jerked off twice. That's what I used to do on Ambien. I'd get up and walk out the house. I'd get the mail, get the neighbors, wife, and a head joke in my underwear.

Ambien. All that shit gives me vivid, vivid dreams, except Advil P.M. That shit's so strong to me, it kills the dreams part of my brain. It just crushes it. I only take that, though, if it's like a Friday night and I can get up at two hours, because it, especially when you get to my age, I, you know, I Google everything now, our AI. And it says, you know, as you get older, your body doesn't metabolize

those, that's sleeping shit in your blood. So it hangs longer. Just like when you're young and you could get fucked up and have 18 beers on a Friday night and be up Saturday morning to do shit. You remember that? It goes away pretty fast in your life. Let me tell you, as you get older, you're like, yeah, I had two rum and Coke.

I'm in bed. It's 4 a.m. in the afternoon. No recovery whatsoever. So just remember that. I'm just telling you I'll be dead soon. Let's move on to Hold That Turkey, a Whole the Turkey. This is a clip that I had to show because this is one of my worst nightmares. A 19-year-old hunter in Wisconsin got the surprise of his life.

Well, how do you know? Maybe his dad came out as a tranny last year. You don't know that. Then again, that's common. That wouldn't be a surprise. You're right. about the surprise of his life on Saturday when he encountered an elusive creature stalking him in the woods. That's right, his ex-wife.

Here she is, seeing that a big pussy. Look at him. We're going to show you this clip, but look at that. That's a bobcat, by the way. So, you know, that's the good side of it. It's not a friggin. It's not a, a jack-wire. Yeah, Jack, exactly, or a Panther.

I don't know the wife it'd be in Iowa anyways, but wherever he was. Carson Bender was hunting for turkey on private land near Nekusa. Have you been in Nkusa? Have you had the Nkusa? While wearing full camouflage and sitting at the base of a tree when the incident happened. After using a call to draw several turkeys and what he did to draw the turkey call, you blow into it and it's Biden given a speech. That was beautiful and well executed, I might have.

and off the top of my head. Don't ever forget who's the funniest motherfucker ever, and I've been putting the closet for a time out for 30 years. Several turkeys, Bender said. He was lining up his shotgun when he heard the soft crunch of leaves behind him. Turns out it was his wife eating Pringles. Listen, no, the season hunter did not make any sudden move. I haven't had a cigarette in two weeks. Hold on it. What the fuck is this, AIDS? Dallas is like, yeah, now you know how it feels. did not make any sudden moves but raised his phone and began recording.

Yeah, that's what I'd do. I would have raised my phone, put it on speakerphone, and said to my wife, call the cops. I'm surrounded by body. The creature approaching turned out to be a bobcat. Turns out he was not in danger. It was a bobcat gulf weight.

So everybody, Benda said the animal was staring at him because he had a nice ass. The animals disagreed, and they all went home happily. But he did not take his focus completely off the turkeys nearby. I knew where the bobcat was, and I didn't know what it would do, but I was actually just about to take a shot at the gobbler. That sounds like a hate crime.

Taking a shot at a goo goobble? Come on, folks. Join in the bigotry, won't you? Hey, you guys, I'm going to ask you to choose a name for my book. We're probably going to come up for two years, but I'm just saying, think of some good names. I come up and so my wife rejects them all. How about the funny bigot? Video footage of the tense moments showed the bobcat a few feet behind Bender,

who kept as still as possible. The bobcat took its time in approaching gingerly, lifting one point. then while keeping its eye fixed on. It's so cool how... Yeah, stocks. Yes. Just like a psycho wood. He lifts one paw quietly.

Like they know they can make a noise with the leaves. It's unbelievable. And what a beautiful animal. What a fuck. I don't know that I could kill it unless it was trying to kill me. When you get old, you mellow out. When I was a kid, I'd walk up to a pigeon and kick it in the head and stomp on it. Like I was a black kid at a party.

But as you get older, and my dad told me this, because my dad would hunt and shit, and then he couldn't, he would carry a spider outside. I'm like, what are you a faggot? And then he'd go, who are you talking to? And then big fight would break her. At one point, the creature appeared to glance toward the hunter's phone, but decided to keep advancing. Check it out.

Check out the bobcat doing his thang. Here's the kid against the tree in the front of the picture. Look at it. He blends in to the right. He's in the far right. Look how quiet that cat's being. What I love about that kid? He didn't even scream or make a noise.

I just wish the camera kept going, the footage. Look at that. They're beautiful, aren't they? Bendo was able to shake off the bobcat that eventually fled to Cuba. What? However, he was left with a scratch and two small skin breaks. Skin breaks. Is that the new term now?

Are we going to work that into the lexicon when somebody shot? He suffered minor wounds and two skin breaks. Shut the fuck up. But it didn't get into how, did he wrestle with it? A little bit. It sounded like it. And then he went away and he was still trying to get the turkeys after, it said. That's a kid who grew up in the woods.

He later took some prescription antibiotics just to be safe. I'm talking about the bobcat. Bye, bye. Yeah. Did you hear about the shark that in Provincetown, bit a guy at the beach and the shark died of age like a month later? True story, I just made up. Oh, shit.

I put this in Spanish and I forget what it means. Fuck. What does it mean? Padazzo de basso. I know bastards in it. Dirty bastard, a criminal illegal bastard? Padazzo de basso. Right now there's a couple of his men.

What is it? Piece of trash. Pado is peace. How do I forget that? It's got the word pito in it, and Pedro. Spanish. An illegal alien has pleaded guilty to incest, which one hasn't? After a 12-year-old girl left in his care, and again, great reporting here too, delivered his child in Lake Charles, Louisiana.

What? Delivered his... What am I missing? To live at his child? Oh, gave a baby. Sorry. Jesus. Somebody get big farmer on the phone.

Let's take a look at the story. They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. Once again, Trump, years ago, being right about something. Jose Lopez Montoya, a 41-year-old, illegal alien with an active ICE detainer. Why are we going to arrest the left in the blues and the sanctuaries? Pleaded guilty this week to aggravated crimes against nature by incest.

Make it sound like he fucked a goat. By nature. Yeah, by nature. I mean it was in his nature to fuck kids? Is that what they mean? In July, 24, a 12-year-old girl was admitted to a Lake Charles Hospital where she gave birth. 12. That means you get pregnant when she was a love.

Just let that sink in. Police launched an investigation finding out that Lopez Montoya had been declared the girl's guardian and had repeatedly raped her over two years. This is rape. What was the guard? Where were the parents?

What the... That's who you leave the kid with? And it says guardian. Was he related? I don't know. How to fill in the blanks. Lopez Montoya admitted to investigate is that he had sex with a girl

and that he believed the child was his. See, that's probably normal of Mexico or Guatemala or any other third will shithole country. It's like, yeah, that's mine. This was a very unfortunate situation. Calico Parish Sheriff, Stitch Gilroy. What the fuck? You name your kid's Stitch?

Did your wife have to have an appeasey He said he had him? Yeah. Fucking I looked like Rockies after round 12. Cut me, Mick. Cut me. He was responsible for her well-being and her mom and dad were not around. Okay, here it was when you're a reporter to find out where they were.

Fill in the blanks for us. So this is a really disappointing situation. Is that what Stitch said? Boy, he's on top of it, huh? Is that what it is? Disappointing. He's a pretty sick individual, meaning the suspect. Lopez Montaigne now faces 25 to 90 years in prison,

which means he'll do a month of community service and time served. He'll be out fucking your cousin next week. His sentencing is scheduled for April 28th. Let's hope we get a judge who didn't go to Yale. You know what I mean? man how fucking how on was people thought Trump was exaggerating you know they're rapists which means it was going on long before Trump came into the scene wasn't making the shit up I don't I really folks I don't mean to be hyperbolic but where do we go here if the Democrats take back in

whenever 20 whenever the next one is to 20 30 28 where do we go from here They're going to try to undo everything. Trump's done and shit. And what are you going to do? Sit there and go, yeah. We're going to open the gates again. And conservatives' voices are going to be crushed. Where do we go from here?

To me, that's go. That's it. We have run the course. I'm not exaggerating. Now, whether you want to pick up a gun or they do such shit to you that you have no choice, where else are we going? I don't see it. I have to do my, my medical analogy, like I said.

It's like Bobby Orr's knee. He had like 12 operations on his knee. You know, in between your, you have cartilage at least, right? But then it wears down and it wears down. We've been rubbing bone on bone now for about 10 years. I really don't. And they're trying to say that Trump's trying to steal the election. You see how you can't have.

two groups, and again, I don't think the country is as far left as the media wants you believe, but you can't have two groups that far apart on everything, whether it's sunny out, whether water is, you know, wet, you can't, without a fucking civil war coming up, no? That's why I'm looking at property in Montreal. Hello, I'm William Shatner. Anyhous, well, the broad's up there, Dallas. They offset the communism. That city.

You know how Montreal starts. By the way, prostitutes from other parts settled in Montreal. I don't know why, but the women up there, I've never seen anything like makes L.A. look like a leper colony. Anyhow, let's move on. And I had this guy on my show, I'm very proud to say. And I was very, you know how they say don't meet? Well, he's not a hero of mine, but he was at that point defending Trump.

Don't you're afraid to get, don't meet your heroes, whatever. You'd be disappointed. Richwood. A guy used to work on the show here. Anyhow, headline, famous Jew abandons the blue. See, Jew and Blue. I try to put a thing together there.

Nice. It didn't work. Fame Civil Liberties attorney, Alan Dershowitz, says he has abandoned the Democratic Party. Now, we had him on the show years ago, probably three, four years ago.

He couldn't have been nicer. I was, like, intimidated. This guy, you know, he's got the highest degree in law, you know, law at Harvard. He's the, whatever, the Emirates, some Latin shit that means you're pretty smart, smarter than all the other Jews.

He's brilliant. And he couldn't have been nicer. And he's a Red Sox fan because he went to school in Boston and, you know, lived at Harvard. Anyhow, he's been a lifelong lefty. You know, I hated him during

the OJ trials, but I wasn't really following politics back then. I think I still hate him for that, though. The fact that he was But, like I said, I didn't know that much about, I know more about the Constitution now. And he follows it to the letter. And sometimes it doesn't break you away. But he was sitting in front of me in first class on a plane during the OJ trial.

And I was this far from dumping coffee on his head, but I couldn't. I was a pussy. Anyways, Dershowitz, I mean, a real lefty, a brilliant one, wrote in Wall Street Journal op-ed that Democrats have become far too anti-Israel for him. Can you imagine that? hates Jews, hates Jews. Not him, the party. To continue voting for the party, as a result, he has switched his party resignation. Let's take a look at the tape.

There were no fine people at the debate, at the standing outside of the convention center, and screaming, Hamas will win, screaming, we are all Hamas, screaming. There was nothing wrong with October 7th. What's wrong with October 7th? Somebody said, no, there aren't fine people and they don't make fine points. And so I was disgusted at the Democratic National Convention. Absolutely disgusted. We're speaking in Harvard Law, Professor Meritus, Alan Avi Dershowitz. So are you ready to leave the Democratic Party? Democratic Party. I am no longer a Democrat. I cannot be associated with a party that features, as its speakers, AOC, Sharpton, Liz Warren, and Bernie Sanders. That's not my party.

That is so refreshing. See, now that's way bigger than Bill Maher coming, becoming a little, I'll say, woke in the good way. But this guy's been a lifelong lefty and done a ton. And he went on to say, he says, yeah, I will urge pro, I will urge pro-Israel Americans to change party affiliation, and he's got a lot of poll. And by the way, when I interviewed him, he was already telling us he's got a place, I think it's Martha's Vineyard, where all the liberals do.

And his friends, because he was defending Trump, when the whole thing was going down, Russian agent, all that other horseshit, he was defending Trump. And so the party sort of disowned him. His friends like Larry David and Larry David's wife and all the other fucking long liberals on Martha's Vineyard wouldn't even talk to him. He said hi to a friend of his at a supermarket park.

A guy just walked right past him gave him like a dirty look. And this was years ago. So good for him, is what I say. I am a lifelong Democrat. I started campaigning for the party's local candidates

as a teenager in Brooklyn, New York. That's the hub of Jews, by the way. Can you imagine You're a teenager and you're that into politics? See, probably because you're Jewish and your parents have stories about their parents and, you know what I mean? And he's brilliant. Not too many dumb Jews. Hitler get rid of those.

And a lot of women into comedy, the ones that survived. Have, yeah, 67 years. He says, I've been a registered Democrat, 67 years, made speeches for John F. Kennedy as a college student and can count on one hand. the number of Republicans I've ever supported for any office, he wrote. Yet I've decided to bite the, you're not biting the bullet. He's using that metaphor wrong. You're not biting the bullet here.

And registered as a Republican. Biting the bullet will be staying in the party and just ignoring the idiots. That's sort of more of a hate to correct you, doctor, with 19 degrees, and I'm probably wrong there too, but fuck it. Got people to fool at home. The Harvard Law School Professor Emeritus

there it is. When I introduced him, I couldn't say that word. So I said, he's the smartest fucking Harvard. He opposed Republicans on policies. Said he opposes, he still does oppose Republicans on policies of abortion. I don't have a problem with that. I don't know where I am on abortion. Every time I see a homeless guy laying in his own shit on the sidewalk,

that guy would have been better off aboard it. That's the only thing that keeps me from. That and I, you know, got a couple girls present. Yeah, I got a present. I got them Diet Coke and some pills, a pack of cigarettes. Anyways, pregnant, and, you know, you had to take care of it. I didn't go to Planned Parenthood. It was a garage.

My buddy had a blow torch and a pair of pliers. Things went swimmingly. So he disagrees. Abortion, taxes, immigration. I'd like to sit down with him on that one. and go, what do you fuck? How on that one? And health care. But he will throw his support to them because of Israel.

Sounds like he's trying to cover his ass with his old friends on that one. Dallas nods in agreement. Don't you think so? I intend to work hard to prevent the Democrats from gaining control of the House and the Senate he continued. I will contribute money. It sounds like he's taking an oath under Trump. I will contribute money to Republican candidates, campaign for them, make speeches at Republican events and urge pro-Israel Americans to change party affiliation or at least, this surprise

the hell out of me too when I moved. You know, there's a bunch of Jews in New York who are like against Jews. It's crazy how far. Andy Kindler, fucking very funny comedian, psychotic politically, in my opinion, to change party affiliation or at least vote against Democrats, he added. And then he said, until something changes, I will vote Republican for representative, senator, and president. And then he said, ham, something like that.

You believe that shit? Huh? Dershowitz. Alan Dershowitz. Lifelong lib, not just a milk toast or a Hollywood celeb who, you know, like George Clooney and some other. I don't understand what they want. Do you guys feel that way?

Where we're headed, though? Like, I don't see any more. There's nothing. Me and Dallas are in favor of Balkanization, you know, divide up the country. We'll get the military. They don't like the military. We'll get the cops, too.

We'll get everybody who knows how to use a gun professionally. Except for me, I just shoot that shit in the street, and people going by, paper boy. Huh? Have we have one of those? Not anymore. I'm getting pretty good. Good point. I just said paper boy. Excuse me.

That is funny. Are there paper boys anymore? Yeah, I got a route on Rumble. Whatever. That's funny. I throw a rock. Not a rock. I slink shot. I told you that story. Try to get out paper boy. He was stealing our Christmas lights. Yeah, my dad's. saw him taking our lights, didn't say anything, wanted to see him do it. Then I saw him do it.

I happened to be across the street when he came to deliver the paper like four o'clock. And it was summertime. I'm across the street and the other guy's driveway. I get a slingshot. And I'm aiming. If I hit him, I'll fucking probably kill him, right? I'd let go. This is the front door.

Here's a bay window of our house. I go like this. All of a window goes, I almost started crying right there. You guys don't know my old man. psychotic when it comes of that shit. I was so fucking scared. I got on my bike and I went

to the park to watch a semi-pro baseball game to like nine at night. And I think it was a good move of my part. My father, when I got home, he had no spunk left at him. He just worked, you know, 11 hours, whatever fuck. And he just

shook his head. Asshole, I think he said. And that was it. No, you know, no backhander, no fucking You know, that's when He was good when you did big shit like that It was the smallest shit like me almost burning down the house With a frozen pizza when I was drunk And in the toaster up

That's got to go on the book I was about to say you got to put the slingshot and that Oh my God, I got tons of shit that That was the best one Waking up with him I'm still in my coat from the night before drunk on the couch. He's holding an Ilios pizza. It's the size of a wallet and there's still smoke coming up. That I got a good crack across the face floor. Anyways, here's the story, folks,

that to me, well, it's almost as big as the first one, but no, it's bigger. Because do you guys know the Southern Poverty Law Center? You know what they're about, right? They're a fake hate group is what they are, who make a living by pointing out anything that's white or critical. and call it a hate group and people because they thought they had credentials would believe them for years. The Department of Justice announced Tuesday, hey, let me tell you, Cash Patel, he should be the rookie of the year, my opinion. Isn't he doing announced Tuesday and the people that work under him, that a grand jury, and I still don't know what a grand jury is, indicted the Southern Poverty Law Center for fraud and money laundering for alleged payments. You can't make this shit up.

alleged payments to American neo-Nazi groups and the Ku Klux Klan, among others. Do you hear? One, two, three, four. Do you get what I'm saying? Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche said at a news conference that the 11-count indictment filed an Alabama federal court alleged the left-wing nonprofit. They were pretending to be not left-wing. people thought they were a legitimate group that found anti-Semitism

and white supremacy behind every couch and, you know, federal court alleged the left-wing nonprofit had in the past decade, listen to this, paid at least $3 million to eight members of far-right groups, meaning there was so little racism out there, despite what Biden was saying, it was the biggest threat to our country, white nationalism, right? There's so little of it. They were paying neo-Nazis and shit to make stuff up, to do stuff.

Could you make that up? How fucking crazy is this world? Here's a video of Todd Blanche who works with Cash Patel explaining it. According to the charges in the indictment, the SPLC is a nonprofit entity that purports to fight white supremacy and racial hatred by reporting on extremist groups and conducting research to enforce. law enforcement groups with the goal of dismantling these groups. As the indictment describes, the SPLC was not dismantling these groups. It was instead manufacturing the extremism it purports to oppose by paying sources to stoke racial hatred.

That's fucking beautiful. Do you understand? There's so little hate in this country. And you know what? I've been saying this for years. that this is the least racist country on the planet. Who else invites everybody from all over the world to fucking live next week?

And you know what? It didn't work. So racism is good. If you, under your definition. Any who, I don't know. Did you get that? They were paying. The Southern Lobity Post Center. The very groups they were, you know,

pretending were hate groups and causing racist. They were paying them. One was a leader for the 2017, unite the right protest in Charlottesville, Virginia, who received, you know, there's fine people on both sides, that hoax. That guy that ran that received $270,000 over an eight-year period. Others had affiliations with the Ku Klux Klan, United Clans of America,

Aryan nations, I had a contract with them for like two years, the Nationalist Socialist Party of American Nazis, and the sadistic, my favorite, This is sadistic souls of motorcycle club. How do you fit that on a leather jacket? What do you wear a 55XXXL? Holy Christ, that's a lot of hatred in one title. Unbelievable.

They had to manufacture hate. I just picture a guy going to work, you know, kisses his wife on a cheek. I've had to work, honey. They got me in the noose department tonight. I've got to make a bunch of those. And the other guys, my buddy in the machine next to me, is making, you know, swastiggers. FBI director Cash Patel called it a widespread, decade-long, multi-million dollar fraud that was concealed through a banking network.

What kind of banking network? Watch, we'll find out it was like Bank of America and, you know, then you'll find out it was Jews. I'm saying that because they run a lot of banks. and that's not a bad thing to say. I always said, you're going to be smart to do shit. I don't get mad at people who are smart of me that are crooked. I'm like, well, if I had those brains, I'd probably steal too. But that's the Italian in me coming up.

You know, lucky Luciano and those guys, the head of the Gambino film, Carlo Gambino, they weren't dumb. If they went into legitimate shit, they would have been huge too. Al Capone, even. But he had a different way of being a CEO. He'd have a conference table, and if you said the wrong thing, he'd open your head like a ripe melon with a fucking bat. You ever see that scene?

We did that on Tough Crowd. I'll give you guys an assignment. Google, what was the movie? De Niro's playing Al Capone. Just Google that. De Niro's playing. Wasn't it the Untouchables? I think it is.

I think you're right. I think it's the untouchables. Kevin Kossner? Yes. Playing the cop. It's Untouchables. Yes. Google that.

This one, De Niro was still good. He's playing Al Capone. And they're having a meeting, just like a business meeting, a long table. And he's saying all this shit, and all the guineas are going, yeah. And he's got a baseball bat, by the way.

Walks it behind. He's walking around the whole time. And what's funny is all those actors at that table were so good because they were kind of going, yeah, why does he get that bat? You know, they all had that aura coming off. I'm like, oh, my God, who's going to get it? And they're like, yeah.

And then. And then Al Capone hits a fucking line drive off the left field wall. Gets a triple. This guy's Ed. Can you imagine? And that's a true story. And we did it on Tough Crowd. Colin Quinn, why didn't I pull the fucking for the show?

I really don't think. Colin Quinn's playing El Capone. And they made them to look like him. He had the mole right here. Anyways, Google that. You'll love it. That's about it. It's all I got today, which is enough.

I thought that was a well-rounded show. We went from Dershowitz, leaving the party to a kid getting attacked by a bobcat, to a draft pick for the jets who could change the face of the other. Out of Mo Zeech University. Yeah, that's enough. Fucking voices cave in. I have no idea why.

Hey, go to cameo.com if you want me to send the personalized video to somebody. I can do a little roast on them, a minute, minute and a half. It's not like I get paid a lot. And make fun of people or say, happy birthday to that whore you left back in college, who now is a billionaire. That's it. You guys think that I'll say it. You're so welcome. We'll see you back here at the same time for the final day of the week.

Take care, everybody. Hi, good night, everybody.