The Nick DiPaolo Show - SPLC Lawyer Arrested | Nick Di Paolo Show #1367

Episode Date: March 9, 2023

SPLC Is A Hate Group. Funny Toronto Guy. US Hostages In Mexico. Guy Vs. Girl.    Join Nick for bonus content at Patreon! www.patreon.com/thenickdipaoloshow Go see Nick on the road! www.nickdip.com/tour for tickets!

🎵 Good morning, my neighbors! Hey, fuck you! Wow, what happened to that southern hospitality? I heard so much about. How are you, folks? Good to be with you on a Thursday, last day of the week. Probably see you fuckers this weekend, hopefully, at the Kansas City Comedy Club.

Comedy Club of Kansas City. Comico de las House Casa. Laffy Comico. In Missouri. Two shows Friday night. Lappy Camico. In Missouri. Two shows Friday night. Two shows Saturday night. Anyhow, any... Hey, real quick. I think I'm doing a story later today on this show

about these tourists from America went down to Mexico. One of them was going to get a tummy tuck and they were mistaken for Haitian drug dealers, supposedly. I don't even buy that either anyways they get taken hostage two of them are dead one of them's wounded and one is unscathed apparently Mexico scumbag cartel saying they thought they were drugged whatever they went a car with a North Carolina plates like a white SUV and they came up and get shot at. And then this video, I didn't show because it takes too long.

They're dragging one guy into the back of a pickup truck, or one woman, I can't tell. That person's still alive. One of them didn't look alive. One of them was wounded. And then they dragged two. No, the two that they dragged like across the street didn't look alive, whatever.

But supposedly they're saying two of them are dead but anytime i hear about anything in mexico and i've been saying this again now what four years on the show even bill o'reilly how long has he been off the air he used to always go down there to you know scuba and he goes i'm not going there anymore it used to be and they still say this today, oh, if you go to the resorts, you're fine, which isn't true either. Because I remember reading about Cancun, some people on a dance floor in Cancun,

you know, on a Saturday night, fucking cartel comes in and rolls like three human heads onto the dance floor. Now, I personally wouldn't mind that because I'm not a dancer dancer I'd be sitting there laughing watching people trip over what's this a new craze on TikTok but uh so yeah I don't understand why you would go there for anything whether it be uh illegal you know cheap medicine um apparently somebody in this group was a tummy tuck. Somebody's dead because somebody needed a tummy tuck. And it turns out, yeah, they're saying they were mistaken for a Haitian drug dealer.

It may or may not be true. But you might want to make sure. So basically I just blew the story I'm going to do in a few minutes. But the thing about it is we just saw a headline, Lindsey Graham is trying to pass a bill or whatever they do, which, you know, to militarize the border. And I guess it spawned from this story. You know.

But, again, this should have been done by trump or anybody before him it's been illegals have been pouring over for how long now and that was always the solution but republicans and democrats cheap labor that's all it's about cheap labor keep it coming and they pretend and i always made fun of the wall even when trump was there I said it's just silly you have the biggest military the strongest military in the planet and you don't know how to defend your borders seriously I go why do we put up a wall when we have you know of course I brought up a few things that have been outlawed by the Geneva

Convention like landmines and but you know seriously why not you got flamethrowers and guns and yeah yeah right and we're gonna put a wall up that's how you know nobody's serious about it but anyways now that millions of fentanyl pills are coming over thanks to the Chinese and Mexico killing hundreds of thousands of kids in this country a year yeah you think you think it might be time to blow them out of the fucking water? What a ball-less country, cutting its own throat. Quickly before I move on, one other thing. Trump, I guess, put out a video yesterday. I don't know if he made the speech at CPAC or, it doesn't matter, or True Social, but he's already bringing his A game. He had a list of five things, a national vision to make America great again. I'll list

them real quick. We don't have time because I got other stories. Use of federal land to build new cities. And he's talking about the homeless, getting them out of the city. If you want to live like that, a hobo, there's plenty of federal land that, and we can privatize it. You know, as far as monetary, monetizing it, private companies will take care of all that. And you guys can go live and shit outside and whatever the fuck you want, but stay away from us.

Which is not a bad idea, actually. Second one was quite a leap, I thought. Flying cars. We can't even drive to motherfuckers. How many people die on highways in this country a year? Now we're going to have some 20-year-old brob with a few drinks and I try to parallel park between two clouds.

What? Get out of here. But again, like he says, we have drone technology. It's basically batteries. You know what I mean? It's not that big a leap. Kind of creepy to me, though. I just can't picture that. Yeah, dude. Crashing into houses

would be a regular thing. Well, how about this? Not even that. Your car stalls. You're dead. Seinfeld actually had a joke like that. When people go, flying in a plane, do you know it's like literally 40 times safer than driving a car? He goes, yeah, but when your car stalls, you don't fall 30,000 feet.

Pretty good, Jerry. Anyways, so that was two. Flying cars. You know, with Elon Musk, he can figure that out while he's sleeping tonight. Revitalize rural industries. Here's the best one. Launch a baby boom with bonuses for young parents.

Okay? That means you get money in the form of whatever, tax or however, for porking. Like the streetwalkers do. Come on, ladies. Pitch in. Let's make America white again. That's what that hat should say. You know, you'll get all the married guy votes.

Okay. And number five was beautification campaign. Get rid of ugly buildings. Yes. Let's start with Pelosi's condo in San Francisco. The whole fucking block. Anyways, that shows you that Trump ain't playing.

He's already out there looking forward. And did I tell you about this? Do we mention the poll they did after the CPAC convention? Trump got 60 percent, DeSantis 20. But I didn't mention this yesterday. The only caveat was DeSantis didn't speak at CPAC because he was at a meeting that they have every year with the five biggest donors to the Republican

Party. That's where you want to be. They didn't invite Trump. They literally didn't invite him. So this is going to be interesting as hell because the people love Trump. I would be fine with either. I told you who I really love, even better than those guys, Vivek Ramaswamy.

Seriously, that Indian guy, he's young. He started his own billion, you know, biomolecular, bio whatever business. Brilliantly smart, and I'm a big fan of the Indians. I mean the Guardians. Anyways, let's move on to actual stories. SPLC, that's a Southern, Southern, now I'm a brother. There's a Southern Poverty Law Center. I put it's a hate group in itself.

Why do I say that? Because they used to do good work 20 years ago. And then I read a whole article how the guy who founded it is a fucking left-wing kook and crazy as a motherfucker. Even he left it saying it was so broken. They have over a thousand groups on their list as hate groups. And, you know, the Christians are, like, at the top. Catholic Church is, like, a hate group.

I mean, they're insane. They give it that name, and people still follow. An attorney with the Southern Poverty Law Center was arrested, get this, for domestic terrorism. Okay? This is a group that pretends to defend people from hate and harm. Domestic terrorism in a group of 23 who allegedly violently attacked the future site of an Atlanta police training facility, which we've talked about. Counselor? Yeah.

Counselor? Thomas Webb Juergens. That's a lawyer. Seen here after his bar exam. He's 28. He was rounded up with the other violent protesters for throwing Molotov cocktails. By the way, he's a lawyer for the Southern Poverty Law Center.

Fireworks, rocks, and bricks at the facility. First of all, the irony, we've already pointed this out on the way, he's a lawyer for the Southern Poverty Law Center. Fireworks, rocks, and bricks at the facility. First of all, the irony, we've already pointed this out on the show, that Antifa and these anarchists who want to defund the police and have been saying their mantra is the police needs to be reformed, is burning down a training center that was built to reform police. So they just want death in this country, destruction, they're anarchists, they want to overturn this government

and they have no replacement for it. Liberals and others have expressed outrage over plans to build a $90 million police training facility. Now, why would you be outraged at that? You've been saying they need to be trained. Over 85 acres just outside of Atlanta. There's nothing good anywhere within 100 miles of Atlanta.

Get the fuck out of there. Fucking birthplace of hip-hop. The Georgia Department of Public Safety said some of the protesters tried to blind the officers through the use of green lasers. That's faggot stuff. It is.

You want a court by its name, that's strictly for fags. It was a very violent attack, very violent attack, said Sherbarn. This wasn't about a public safety training center. This was about anarchy.

And this was about, he's like the top cop, in the attempt to destabilize. And we are addressing that quickly. 35 people were detained and police say there were about 100 protesters who joined in the violent attack. Yet you guys didn't see it on ABC, NBC, CBS, did you? Did you?

No, you didn't. Again, they're part of the problem. Quit calling them American networks. Quit calling the Dems American. The SPLC responded to the arrest. Again, they're supposed to put people like groups like this on the hate list, yet they're being represented by a guy doing the shit. To arrest with a statement claiming Juergens was at the attack in an official capacity.

That's why. Who gives a fuck what you think? Yeah, he was there in an official capacity. He had his suit on. Law enforcement detained at least 35 demonstrators in Atlanta on Sunday, including SPLC employee who was arrested while

acting and identifying as a legal observer. That's him, bottom row, two in, second one in from the left. We already pointed out, but look at the rest of these. Look at the rest of these fucking cheese dicks. Losers to the core. Look at them. Put it back. I want to see some. There you go. I want to whack off to the girl in the red hair. Second row far right. Look at that thing.

There's a brother in there. That's unusual. Seriously. Because Antifa and these scumbag groups usually spoiled white kids. But do you see one? Do you see one you'd want to even say hello to? Look at Maggie June Gates. Fucking second from the bottom, two in from the left. Oh, my God. Okay. I can't look anymore.

I'm getting horny. There is a part of months-long escalation of policing tactics against protesters. By the way, this is the Southern Poverty Law Center speaking. And observers who oppose the destruction of the Wilani Forest to build. They're upset about tearing up the Weelani Forest. That's the ostensible, you know, the lie.

To build a police training facility, they added. The SPLC will continue to urge de-escalation of violence and police use of force against black, brown, and indigenous communities. They can't. Working in partnership to dismantle white supremacy, strengthening intersectional movements. Are you listening to this? And advance the human rights of all people,

except for Christians, except for cops. You fucking people. Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up? Georgia Governor Brian Kemp issued a statement of condemnation over the attack. He said, as I've said before, domestic terrorism will not be tolerated in this state, said Kemp. We will not rest until those who use violence and intimidation for an extremist end are brought to full justice.

Yeah, I'm Andy Rooney. And this is 60 Minutes. I like buttons. They're on your shirt. They're on your pants. When they fall off, I put them in a drawer. You remember him? With the eyebrows like fucking caterpillar.

So anytime you see Southern Pover center sp lc it's been under the guy matter of fact i just did 60 minutes that's where i saw it they did a piece on the guy who found it and he was like it's fucking crazy i had to get out of there let's move on to from funny toronto guy pretends to run for mayor and it's not that guy that died, our favorite crackhead. Remember that blonde guy? What was his name? He was the actual mayor. I forget. Anyways, Toronto's a very PC. But Canadians are very nice people, and they can be funny.

Can't they? Yes, they can. And as you know, uh-oh. I don't know French. Roger D. Anyways. Shut up, fatty. Ben, he put out two videos pretending he's running for mayor. He's like a comedian.

Ben Banks, his name is. And he put out a couple videos. The first one pretending he's running for mayor. He's like a comedian. Ben Banks, his name is. And he put out a couple videos. The first one, he's talking about how he's going to ban sports on TV that males like to watch. Let's take a listen, shall we? My name is Ben Bankus, and I'm running for mayor of Toronto. As mayor of Toronto, I will make the viewing and enjoyment of male sports illegal. We will be replacing the Toronto Raptors with two WNBA teams. The Toronto Only Fans and the Scarborough Six Buds.

This is coming days after the Toronto Raptors posted an insensitive, offensive video where they claimed that women give birth. Girls were on the war because they're the only one that came won at camp. As we now know, this is not true. In addition to Scotiabank Arena, all bars and restaurants in the city of Toronto will be barred from showing any sports that have men in them unless those men happen to be

trans. Who's hungry? Go to Ben Bankers from the mayor of Toronto. All the other candidates are racist. Good for you, Ben. That's as excited as Canadian people get, by the way. I love them. They're polite. Even in the, I'm learning guitar, and there's a guy on there, Kelly, Kelly Allen Dean, or Kelly Dean Allen.

I can't remember. Canadian. But just so, so poor. He's kind of bitter he didn't make it. He's a great guitar player. But he opens with going, I hope you're all well and your family, and he's dead serious. And I'm like, shut up, let's get to the G chord, which is not nice. There's an old joke.

How do you get 800 Canadians out of a pool? You ask them. It's a true joke. Anyways, here's the second video we put out. This one's called Progressive Transit Pricing. In other words, he wants to set up a kind of a tier system for pricing people who take public transportation in Toronto. Let's see what ben banks has to say here we are making a progressive pricing system for the subway so if you are black

it is now one dollar to get on the subway if you're trans that's an extra 50 cents off 50 cents 25 cents off every ticket per vaccine that you have been administering to. We're going to be starting trans only trains on the transit. So the TTC will now have one car per train. Trans only by trans police officers will ensure that there is no mixing. Daniel, hold the flags a little more up. They're kind of like out of, yeah. I love that's how they ended it.

Ben Bank, oh, Bankus. I'm sorry. Ben Bankus. I didn't even see that. That's as funny as it gets. You see his dead, dry delivery and his, and anyway, it's good for him. You know what?

That's a good sign because a lot of people, honest to God, I don't know if it'll ever go back the way I want it, where you can punch a fag and get away with it. No, I never meant, you know, I'm kidding. But it's starting to, people have been, years have been saying, I think it's time to, now, you know what I mean? You wouldn't see that a while ago. People have just had been saying, I think it's time to come. Now, you know what I mean? You wouldn't see that a while ago. People have just had it, man. Even Democrats, some of them are like, bye, you've lost your minds.

Anyway, speaking of Democrats, here's four of them that went to Mexico that shouldn't have. U.S. hostages in Mexico. This was kind of creepy. It happened yesterday, but they updated today, and that's why I waited. This is the one I aforementioned, this story. Two of the four American citizens kidnapped in Mexico are dead while the other two remain alive. That should be worth going to war in itself. You killed a couple Americans, would they? Reuters reported Tuesday, citing the governor of Talupas, whatever, who gives a fuck, of shithole central, fucking.

What the hell's going on out here? Tomalupas. Have you had that with a Brian Rouse? Tomalupas governor in Mexico, Villarreal, said Tuesday that one of the surviving Americans was wounded and the other was not, while two of the four U.S. citizens who traveled to Mexico were found dead. Are you shitting me? The FBI is still working to return the missing Americans who were abducted after being caught in the crossfire of rival cartels shortly after crossing the United States border.

I don't know why you'd go there for any reason. Now, they're saying they caught in a crossfire. Another article said they, whatever, I'll go on. The video of the violent incident shows armed men in body armor dragging one person across the pavement and pushing a woman into the bed of a white truck, then dragging two more men, who appear to be wounded, across the pavement and loading them into the bed of a white truck, then dragging two more men who appear to be wounded across the pavement and loading them into the bed of the same truck.

Photos from the scene show a white minivan with North Carolina plates riddled with bullet holes shortly after the kidnappings with a woman who reportedly witnessed the attack telling the AP she saw the minivan collide with another vehicle before hearing gunfire and seeing armed men approach the van. This story could go nine different ways. It might have just been a fender bender with psychos. You know, a road rage, Mexico style. Or they could have been mistaken for drug dealers, or, you know, all of a sudden, they, the gunmen, were in front of us. This is a lady.

Said the woman who declined to be identified for fear of retaliation. She witnessed this. I entered a state of shock. Nobody honked their horn. Nobody moved. Everybody must have been thinking the same thing. If we move, they'll see us or they might shoot. I want to have sympathy for these people.

You're going to tell me for a tummy tuck, it said. One of them wanted a tummy tuck. You don't have places in North Carolina? Huh? I don't know. How about Marie Osmond, dealer meal, whatever. How horrible. Now, that would be a international incident when this country had balls. You know? Back in uh i'm watching 1923 it's just as good as 1883 which was just as good as yellowstone so good um so besides this and i told lindsey graham's thinking about using a military for the border i guess this might have sparked it but i said to Dallas, that might be a political play on his part

because he's been so gung-ho to send all these billions of dollars to Ukraine. And people are going, well, what about our border? Now he's got an opportunity to go, hey, that's just my take on it. Who knows what the fruit cup is thinking. All right, let's move on, Lindsay.

But we should blow up the cartels. That's all there is. Take that, bitch. But we should blow up the cartels. That's all there is. Take that, bitch. That's the name of the headline. Another classroom feud between a male student and a female student, they were both black, has stormed over the internet like a hurricane. It garnered the attention of a lot of people, as many said that the male student dodged the attacks like Floyd Mayweather Jr., which he did,

while the female student took punches on the chin as strong as Rocky Marciano. I don't have anybody hitting Rocky on the chin, hardly. Not Marciano. But it's true. Whoever said those two comments, all those comments were right on. The girl fights, throws punches like a girl. This is why you'll never see a bona fide female UFC girl going against a guy with his same credentials. Again, it comes back to the way we were born. And there are differences. Bone mass, muscle structure, all that.

And you'll see that here, but the girl, Colin Quinn will always tell me, he grew up in Brooklyn, how the black girls could knock the shit out of a lot of black people. You know, they grew up tough. And this kid in the pink pants with his hat on backwards, and his I-hate-white-people haircut that dreads flying, he really can duck it. You can tell he's been in the pink pants with his hat on backwards and his I hate white people haircut that dreads flying he really can duck it you can tell he's been in the ring he really is and that's a great analogy Floyd Mayweather you guys

who are listening are going to get nothing out of this but let's roll the tape Oh! Help! Help! We need to stop! Oh, he's getting knocked down. I said stop! He's got like pink pants on. And as soon as the teacher said stop, he pulled up his pants, stood over her like he just knocked out Ali.

She kept coming. She bounced right up. Did you see him countering, though? So every time she tried to, you know, and she was throwing, she wasn't fighting like a black girl, at least from the inner city. They stand like this. And he tagged her a couple times, and she got right up at the end. Why am I laughing? Because we're finished. Like I said before, my family should have stayed in Italy. Yours should have went to Poland. Fucking people stayed in Ireland.

Fucking blacks should have stayed. Well, we brought their, it's not their fault. Everybody should have stayed where the fuck you were born. This ain't working. I hate to break your heart. It ain't never going to work. Anyhow, it was a good fight. I hope we have more.

What? You heard me. I forgot to break your heart. It ain't never going to work. Anyhow, it was a good fight. I hope we have more. What? You heard me. I forgot to do this. Put them up. Put them up. Many people even found it disgraceful to see a male hitting a female. While some called it to be an act of equality.

female, while some called it to be an act of equality. I say, just like when a woman asks you to help with the luggage, you go, no, you earned that right. You won that freedom. Enjoy it. That's what you could say. I still help them because I'm hoping I can stick a few things out. What? What the fuck kind of talk is that? You heard me. Anyways, many fans were impressed by the resilience of the female student, while others were impressed by the speed of the male student. Again, it's just a lesson in biology, folks. That's all that is. Ain't never gonna change. UFC flyweight fighter Tim Elliott praised the female student for taking the punches right on the chin and still standing tall

like a warrior. My vagina's angry. It was. It is. It's pissed off. I bet it was. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you to all you new patrons that signed up at Patreon to support the show.

Spread the word, because word of mouth is still the best. The show is free for anyone to watch there, but when you join one of our subscriber tiers, you get exclusive extra daily content, access to 300-plus archive shows, access to chat with other patrons, message me directly, and save 10% if you sign up for a full year. We want to thank people like Rob Lilchub McWhitey, Brian Warner, Dave, just Dave, Brett Morris, these are all new names, Simplex Quint, Mark Solomon, Kevin Heffernan. I also want to thank the following listeners for making contributions to help to support the show. The usuals who have been with

me forever, the great Paul Sagnella, Jeffrey Cole, Robert Goldberg, even some of these, Nick Powell, Sean Powell, Lance Larrabee, Steve Stacey. So if you want to support the show by subscribing at Patreon, or make either a one-time or monthly contribution with Venmo, Cash App, PayPal, or any credit card, just go to nickdip.com. Click on the Nick DiPaolo show. That's it? Uh-oh. That's it? Uh-oh. That's it?

Boys and girls, anything to add, Dallas? What are you doing this weekend? Oh, I'm going to go follow an old man around Kansas City. Oh, Jesus. I'm like, what the? I almost said, what are you talking about? Oh, my God. Even my producers call me old. I'm like what the I almost said what are you talking about oh my god even my producers call me old

unbelievable that footage you took of me on the last trip trying to get in my room drunk at like what 1.30 in the morning dropping my two parfaits I bought yogurt parfaits

and using her ID to unlock the door. I was trying to... Is that what I did? Then you moved to your credit card. Was I that fucked up? What was this, my senior prom? That thing has gone like a couple hundred thousand. People love that one.

You know why? That's what they call a candid moment, folks. That's not staged. That's a comedian miserable trying to get into his fucking room that he's done a million times. Again, when I was single, dirty whores would follow me in there. I'd always pick one like 10 pounds overweight, lower men with food for the front desk. You know, chubby chicks go crazy over Doritos. Anybody with me? They weren't chubby. They were smoking. You know what kindubby chicks go crazy over Doritos. Anybody with me? They weren't chubby. They were smoking. You know what kind of snatch I got.

What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me? Do you believe me? Yes, sir! All right. We haven't put out the cooking segments yet. I think we should discuss that. I want to get going. I don't have fucking time.

I'm 61. Excuse me. You know, Bitchin' Kitchen, I do this segment because so many people requested me to cook. Because I can cook and be funny. Colin Quinn actually requested that during Tough Crowd. He thought it was so funny

that I could cook him. So we started doing it. 21 years later I acted on it. Dallas comes over. We both drink a couple Coors, which is delicious by the way. Coors ruin their legacy with that goddamn light beer. Regular Coors is just old

fashioned, delicious, clean, right? Clean tasting beer. I'm back in love with it. And we have a couple and Dallas picks up his phone and pictures, you know, start shooting me fucking going, oh, what happened to my career?

As I burn a meatloaf. No, but I've made, excuse me, I've made pizza. Can you remember what I've made? The chicken, what, piccata? Chicken piccata. And then we had. Very good. Then we did the chili, Super Bowl chili.

Super Bowl chili And Then we did that Calamari pasta And the squash dish Calamari it's not pasta But it looks you know it's calamari Tomato sauce and it's If you replaced it you wouldn't it's so good

And yeah And a butternut squash recipe from Mario Batali that I stole. And you're going to like the next one after that. I'm attempting a hidden sloppy joe. You might want to Google that. That is some pure white trash food. Combining a sloppy joe with cake. And it's not that easy because we have to reshoot it.

Dallas left my, crying. He was so upset. I couldn't cry. Everything was so dry. I know. Oh, it was. It was drier than Barbara Bush's asshole. Anyways, that's it, folks.

I can't talk no more. You guys think it. I'll say it. Very welcome. See you back what? Next? Monday. We'll see you back on Monday.

So have a great weekend. Take care. Hi. Good night, everybody. Outro Music