The Nick DiPaolo Show - Terror In The Cockpit | The Nick DiPaolo Show #1959

Episode Date: September 30, 2026

In today's episode Nick talks about Terrorism In The Sky, A Fallen UGA Angel, Eagles Free Play Giveaway, Trump Rescues College Sports, Talarico Caught Lying and More Transgender Nonsense! WATCH THE FULL SHOW LIVE & FREE at 6pm ET only on Rumble! https://rumble.com/thenickdipaoloshow/ TOUR DATES, SOCIALS, PERSONAL VIDEOS, STREAM ALL MY COMEDY SPECIALS! https://www.nickdip.com/ MERCH - GRAB A MUG, TSHIRT, HOODIE, STICKERS AND MORE! https://shop.nickdip.com/

Hey, that's racist. Oops. Can anybody, my teeth, can you see them all fucked up? I'm going to leave this out today. Because it's still aching, which is fucking wrong, man. I don't know what is going on. Not as bad today, but I said that yesterday, and by 5 o'clock I was in agony. So, again, I could die.

But look, there's worse things that could happen. I know. Anyhow, I brought it. I cleaned it. Right here. Good Lord. Anyways, welcome to the show, folks. If you are watching on some of the platform and want to watch the full show, just click the link in the description right now.

A full episode, all full episodes of my show are always streaming live at 6 p.m. Eastern and free on Rumble. And if you want it to add for you, join Rumble Premium. Today I'll be talking about terrorism in the cockpit again. A girl who fell off a balcony at college eight stories high and, son of a bitch, if my face wasn't there to catcher. Eagles, this was a couple days old, but it was so funny. I didn't get to it yesterday. Eagles, they were huddling up, and one of the Chicago Bears was like, it looked like he was in the huddle with him. Then he makes an interception. But it's not fixed. Don't worry about.

We got Trump making some serious changes, and hopefully it passes. It's already passed in the Senate, I believe, to stop college sports from being ruined by money. I'll give you this steps. And, of course, the guy's right on the money. And that's about it. You've got a transgender story that coming out of Hollywood. That's about as, you know, odd as a shooting coming out of fucking Atlanta. You know what I'm saying?

What do you mean by that? You know what the fuck I mean? Shut up. So last night, Red Sox, Yankees 9, Red Sox nothing. What? You heard me. Wasn't that bad.

It was 4-5-0 to like the 7th or 8th in. And then somebody gave up a granny. But the Sox, last couple of weeks, they've sort of eh. We got, best hitterer, Wilson Contreras, got hit with a fastball.

He missed a fucking a few games before this week. And when he came back last week, He didn't look good. He didn't look good last night. Roman Anthony, Mr. Studley, he had to leave the game because of his finger. He ripped tendons.

As you know, he missed 101 games this year. Came back and was hitting the shit out of the ball. Last week he started to go downhill. Something happened last night. So it doesn't. It doesn't look good. I'll try not to laugh with my teeth. And the two kids last night,

the two players from the Yankees that murdered the Red Sox. Cam Schittler, Schifler, Schittler. I think it's Schittler, ain't it? I don't know. Anyways, he happens to be, I think he's the one that's from Walpole. Yeah, Walpole Mass, right near when the Patriots play. I believe it's here.

Might have the towns mixed up. It doesn't matter. He's a Massachusetts kid. He's going to win the Cy Young this year. That's how good he is. He was thrown 101. like it was fucking softball. And he's going to win the Shah Young.

He's got an ERA under two, I think. He's from, anyways, Massachusetts. Ben Rice last night, who he might, what did they say? He might win. Anyways, he had six RBIs, including a grand slam. He's from Cohasset. And again, if I have the town switched,

I don't give a shit. It's my manager calling me during, the show showing how much he pays attention. Anyhow. So that kid, yeah, is from Cohasset, which is Cape Cod. And they showed a picture of him when he was like five or six years old.

Look like he was five. His brother and his sister had decked out in socks gear. And I think his dad was too. He's got a Yankee jacket on and a Yankee hat because he liked the Yankees. Even when he was sitting. Now he's a Yankee superstar. How does that fucking happen?

How does that happen? I wanted to be the best gynecologist in Los Angeles at one point. And I almost pulled it off. I got this homeless lady back to my apartment one night. A rat ran out of her ass. That was even gross for me. Anyways, game two is tonight. Our guy totally pitched tremendously, even though they take them out after four and a third.

Can you not go six anymore? He had only given up one run. Going by the book. Then he brings in three relievers. The only three that I'm not crazy about. We have a thousand of them. Maybe he's saving the good ones? He might be.

I don't know. But I did not like who we brought in. It doesn't fucking matter. Boston Bruins. I'm done, folks. I'm almost done with the sports shit. Of course I didn't turn the motherfucking clock on. Ah, your sisters.

Boxhole. What do you got for time there, Frank? Huh? That's exactly what I guess. Anyways, Bruins last night, Rangers, they play two periods. The period is 20 minutes long. And then the third period, they played all the way up to the four minutes left in the game. Nobody had scored.

So that's, you know, 56 minutes out of 60. Nobody had scored a goal. Bruins get three at a minute and a half against the Rangers. And I know you don't care, but it was fucking fun. It was cool. Apparently people having trouble score on the opening game, Panthers in Florida and Carolina, fucking zero zero, they had it going to overtime.

And Florida beat the defending champs. Enough of that shit, I know. I tried the sleep thing again last night. You have to put it in a way for about six months. Just picture me at 305 in the morning with a hose smashing it on the fucking how do you sleep with something? It's not big. It's not like that anymore, but it's supposed to, you know,

make a suction cup on your nose. I don't know how you're supposed. So it's blowing air in. How am I supposed to exhale? I don't get it. And I gave it a good effort from 205 to 305. And then I said, your mother's box. And that was that,

explains my cherry mood. I can't even read my own. It's the last thing. I got a third thing here. I don't even know what it is. All right. Let's get to the unimportant stuff, in my opinion. What are you talking about?

Oh, you know. This story, I caught this right at the, you know, front page is this morning. Killer co-pilot, and I don't mean a hot shit. Graphic video shows the captain of a Tel Aviv-Bound fly Dubai. I'm not, how about Fly Goodbye? I'm not getting on any airline called Tel Aviv. I mean, Fly Dubai, going to Tel Aviv. for any reason.

Anyways, shows the captain of that flight, drenched in blood and clinging to life after his co-pilot allegedly stabbed him in what Israeli officials believe was an attempt in terror attack. Allegedly? Yeah. Stabbed him or he didn't. What? He stabbed him or he didn't. Yeah, well, the alleged part is the terror part, I think.

alleging to it, but yes, exactly. And I was going to say, what did he, you spill coffee on him and you get upset? When there's a stabbing in a cockpit, again, heading to Tel Aviv, yeah, I think we can do the math. The captain, who was reportedly knifed by his co-pilot, yeah, that just shows how the law, once again, it's, unless you have it on tape, you know,

and even then the lawyers are like, The captain who was reportedly knifed by his co-pilot at a cruising altitude, thank God it wasn't, who cares what altitude, is seen wearing an oxygen mask and lying prone in the galley like I do after they give out those Prosecco drink. And the galley of the aircraft next to a blood smeared wall according to the shocking clip. And for your sensitive, you know, we know that you can get grossed out. We pixelated to fucking pint of blood on the wall. Just pretend it's V8. Just pretend that pilot was having a fucking bloody Mary in this half.

What are we childish? Honest to God. Here's the clip. Pretty shocking, though. How much time we need? How much time we need? How much time minutes? Why?

We need, we need, we do. We need video. No, no, no. No, no. It's good for you. No, we need. You go and for you. No sleep.

It's good for you. Yes. You won't sleep? You saved the plane. It's good for you. Yes. It's good for you. It's good for you. What's he fucking pushing, Flintstone Chewables?

The fuck's going, you're good for you. They are so. Why even speak English? You're all Middle Eastern. You all know that fucking Farsi and Yiddish and. How creepy is that, folks? they don't have a oh what am I saying it wouldn't have mattered

inside job so I want to know how long the guy the pilot I thought they said something about he's been a pilot for eight months or maybe just working at that airline I don't know my point being

they're very dedicated to killing people remember the 9-11 guys took crop dusting lessons by the way delicious peaches they grew A second crew member who appears to be the copilot is seen unconscious and restrained. I didn't see where he was. Excuse me, fellow.

Wearing a white uniform nearly soaked through. Holy moly. Keystaction. Land it. You kite. Film us too. You can hear the guy going, film ourselves that we're standing guard. They attacked us.

We're guarding the pilot here. But then I heard a guy go, and action, so it might be fake. Anyways, the guy said that speak in Hebrew, which I speak fluently. I lived in New York for six minutes. The Boeing 737 Max 8, my favorite plane, with 174 passengers on board, including 27 children, made an emergency landing in Tabook, Saudi Arabia. I got a summer home in Tabook. So does a couple other people.

A civilian and military base in the kingdom is what that is. Two off-duty pilots stepped in to safely land the plane, according to the past. You see, here's the difference. We would have been fucked if that happened on an American plane. But when you have a plane full of Israelis, all of them, and I mean all of them, women, men have been in the fucking military. And the fact that there was a couple of pilots on board isn't really, you know, it wouldn't happen over here most likely because we don't even,

I don't think we use the, you know what anymore. Who are the guys we hide on the planes? What do they call? Yeah. Thank you. It's a great show, by the way. Yeah, the air marshals. But on a plane there, these guys are all third-degree black belts.

They know how to use guns and fucking, it was like three or four pilots. Anybody in this hot of plane, fly plane, could you please report that? They had a line of myel. Anyways, the two men were both relief pilots that were on board, the ones that came to help, slated to skip for a subsequent flight, which is unbelievable. I mean, still lucky. Both relief pilots were European. One of them was British, the passenger said,

but the other's nationality was not immediately known, but he had an afro and he had a big boombox, which I don't believe. That deserved more. Israeli officials have launched a terrorism investigation into the incident. The attack occurred about two and a half hours into the fly Dubai flight,

which took off from Dubai about 7 a.m. The jet dropped from an altitude of approximately 33,000 feet to 15,000 feet in less than two minutes. And again, I had that happen once when I playing football up at Maine. We were flying home from Pennsylvania and we hit a pocket of something. What a weird fucking feeling. Oh, my God. I thought we were gone as. And it felt like 20 seconds.

It was about five. Ufa. Though the co-pilot's identity has not been released, sources told the Jerusalem Posts and CNN, so now we have to question that the man is of Omani descent, you know, from Oman, and had worked for the airline for less than a year. Interesting, huh? And, oh, boy. Hey, boys and girls, one week from tomorrow, I will be making my comeback, which is October 8th, Thursday, hyenas, and Dallas. And then November 5th, the punchline in Atlanta, November 6, Rivers, Casino, and Philly. November 7th, Soljolz and Pottstown, PA. And also, if I still like comedy, January 22nd, Wonders Theater and Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

Go to Nick Dip.com to get your tickets before they sell out. They're selling pretty good, by the way. Andy updated me on the numbers. While you're there, go to the merchandise page, and you can support this. by buying this stuff that, again, I have like 22 kids from the Philippines tied up downstairs. They love Captain Crunch. They're making that shit. Buy something and I'll feed them better.

We get hats, hoodies, and t-shirts, and your sister's ass. I'll sign them. Take a picture of your tits. Send them in. I'll sign it and send it back. Also, want to send a personalized video to your mother's ass? Hey, one more, if Jennifer Garner and... asked me one more time, what's in my wallet? I'm going to fucking fly to her house and cut her head off

and put her teeth in my wallet, so I have an answer. Enough of that shit already. I always go when, and you know, Andy's sick of here on this for the last 12 years, I'd say, what's in your wallet? I go, a picture of you in a condom. You motherfucker. Anyways, yeah, if you want me to say something you don't have the balls to say, you go to shoutout.us. And it's a lot of fun. It really is, man. A lucky University of Georgia senior, this happened right on campus, so, you know, in Athens. Why is that so, do I have?

Do I not have, I mean, that one's low anyways, but why's that one? Extremely fucking low. I just took a picture. I just took a screenshot by accident. You know, stick it up, you bucket. Listen how quiet this is. A lucky University of Georgia students. Lucky?

Okay. Senior miraculously survived a horrifying fall from the eighth floor of an apartment building. According to her dad. We have the news report right here. Take a look at some of the footage from which. Whiteton. We should at 5 o'clock into the six-story fall that landed a University of Georgia student in a hospital. In just the past 30 minutes.

We took this video. Look at it. Inside the top floor of the apartment building. Don't tell me what to do. Fuck, best. how big that drop was. How big. You mean how high, you

fucking pole smoker? What a fucking nation of nitwits. Look how big it was. It's like people cooking. Emeraldigasy used to go, you should see how it smells in here. Oh, you're right. It's delicious. Anyways, that's a fall.

Kristen Sargent, I just like her name. 21 years old. Oh, my God. If we lost her, I swear God Trump would put the flags at half-mask. I'm kidding me? Are you kidding me? If I knew she was going to fall, I would have been laying down under that balcony. I would have pushed the firemen out of the way with their nets and go, I would have an extra out of my forehead.

Kristen Sargent recovering in intensive care after the investigator said she plummeted from a window. Listen to this. While dancing on a couch in her apartment. 7.30 p.m. on Saturday night. I can't wait for every time that song comes on the radio now, the rest of her life. She was talking to one of her friends and saying, hey, I'm a dumb blonde. No, hey, I'm alive. I can't believe it. Can you imagine? That is quite a step. Her dad said that. Richard Sargent told Channel 2 action, recalling how fortunate his daughter feels to have survived. He explained that his daughter is pretty badly beaten up. I would have started.

opted pretty. Holy goodness gracious Halloween. That would have been a loss. I can already hear the black people go, you'd just be putting this on a news could be a white bitch. Explain that his daughter is pretty badly beaten up and he says I did it because that was stupid what she did.

I'm paying her tuition. I got her with a kick right at her beautiful chin. Acknowledged that they are lucky that she's alive. Yeah, we know that. Thank you. Blessed. blessed? If you were blessed, it would have never happened. How about that? Who's more blessed? The girl next door dancing who didn't fall out of her.

Answer me that, you religious people. And then I will join the club. I'm dead serious. I have a lot of problems with that. Little kids being tortured and shit. I want to believe. Especially since I'm 64. He didn't get into what caused a terrifying accident.

Well, let me take a fucking wild guest, dad. I'd say Frozen Margaret. readers and a well-fucking polished end table. Yeah, which reportedly left her with several busted bones, but explained that it came from the Georgia Bulldogs, came after, excuse me, the Bulldogs beat the Oklahoma soon as 41.13. Only a dad in Georgia or, you know, any other state down here, would. Yeah, your daughter fell off a fucking balcony. What do you think happened? Well,

I'll tell you what happened. I'll tell you what happened. The dog's covered. I know she had like three large on it. That's a lot of ketamine. Yeah. Isn't that funny that the father says, well, we know the Bulldogs beat Oklahoma 41.13. The five foot seven blonde who weighs 115, perfect. And is a is studying finance and marketing and used to study dance at UGA. It's a joke, folks, was in the Rambler building. The fuck Tommy again. I arrived and spoke with bystanders who advised that the female victim had been dancing on a couch or air mattress, which was near an open window and had

apparently fallen through the screen and onto the ground below. Even that's a stupid description. It makes it sound like, you know, she fell out. It was like the first floor. She fell through the screen and landed on the ground. Well, even then, a couch or an air mattress. Well, those are two very different things, but whatever. Not in college.

That's like 11 things in college. They eat off it. No, I know. Nobody's, I've said this forever, and this makes me sound all, but nobody pays attention to detail. But that's not just detail. It's kind of important. It's not a minor detail.

I read all these stories in New York Post and I'm irate. And then I go into the comment section. And I'm the only one bitching about the report. No, I'm not actually. What am I saying? New York Post, half the things are about pitching about the article. It's fucking so fun to do say nasty shit when nobody knows who you is. Anyways, let's move on to speak up.

I can't hear you. This happened a couple nights ago. It's good for a laugh. You guys might have seen it already. Speaking to NFL, I had chat GPT do my picks today. I cut and paste and send it on him. And it's funny, he goes. He goes.

Can I just call him he? Like my imaginary friend. It's just so, he's like, yeah, Nick, I got your pick. It just sounds like I'm talking a Zuck or some point. It's creepy. Huh? Maybe he's. in there.

I haven't heard any end bombs. He was a cop in Miami. He was a damn good one. God bless, rest and peace. Yeah, I send my... And I get a hand to think credit. It goes, it tells why in a couple of them. This quarterback's out, but I still laid the three.

And it gives me... And the three that he likes most of his picks and the two that he doesn't like. And I had already read him. And the two he didn't like, I didn't like that he picked. So I immediately... And you know what's going to happen. happen, don't you? I'll get those two wrong. I have a nephew named Anthony, surprisingly enough. He won the whole pool. And there's over 120 people in the pool. He won the whole thing last year.

And he's in first place after, what, a month this year or three weeks. And he's at that age. He's a brain kid. Matter of fact, my brother just told me he created some app that it's going to debut an Apple store in like two weeks or some shit. It's how to meet midgets. What? That was my question. I know. I sound like a New York Post reporter. I'll let you guys figure out the rest.

No, it's something, it's like if you wanted a plumber, right? And I know there's things, again, I'm not big on this, but there's an app that, you know, we'll tell you what plumbers are in your area and stuff. But this actually does the bidding for you as far as money and shit. and a couple other things that seem even to me, I'm like, that's a fucking good idea. It doesn't matter

because if this one doesn't work, he's still going to, he's got my brother's mind for fucking money. I said to my brother, are you half Jew? During the third quarter of the Bears Eagles game,

the Bears won, by the way. The Bears, 27-7. What's his name? Kekke. Let me hide my teeth. Case Keenham. Is that right? He was unbelievable.

I love guys like him. Sam and Kirk Cousins. They have been in the league for 18. This guy literally 18 seats. Do you know how good you have? He bounces around from team to team because he's not a superstar. But it almost says that much when you're that good. And he was unbelievable.

He was the backup. Anyways, the Chicago linebacker appeared to listen in on a play call from Jalen Hertz. Look at that. That's the huddle. I wish I was paying more attention when they put this up. That's him and the Eagles huddle. And it reinforces what I said.

The Eagles didn't want to be there that night. You know what I mean? Jalen looked at him and went, I think Hertz actually asked him, what should I call? Anyways, while gathered with his teammates, the quarterback communicated to play as Edwards crept in from behind like I do in the bedroom. Seconds later on fourth down, Edwards intercepted a path.

Did you hear what I just said? Excuse me. Did I hear it? Seconds later. In other words, he hears the play. I mean, we don't know, but. And they go to the line of scrimmage and Jalen Hurts throws it

right to him. I'm guessing they hang out on the weekends in the offseason. We don't know. Anyways, isn't that hilarious? throws up while it was intended for Devonta Smith. Anyways, you don't believe me. check it out.

Look at the former eagle, T.J. Edwards up listening in to Jalen Hertz. Heardt. Bear showing blitz. Hertz. By who? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And you didn't hear Jalen Hertz getting right in his face and going,

you're a warm, me, cotsucking, you know that? Oh, God. I didn't, I want to read about it. Was there any fallout? Is there an investigation? Can you imagine you're betting, though? You're gambling? and you're already cynical.

However, when asked whether he understood anything from his sneaky move, the former Eagle told the athletic, no. Did he really? He didn't say yes. We had, I owe him dinner. He says, I was like, maybe I'll hear some familiar stuff. The question is, how was, where were the refs going? What are you doing?

Although I don't think you can. I mean, if you're a rough, you're going to let the play, play, and then throw a flag. Isn't it? I don't know. You know what? I wonder what the rule is on that. I did something sneaky that worked.

And I was a sophomore. I was still playing JV. And my coach told me to do it. Coach Betancourt said when you're in the pile, when you're running the ball and you get, and you're in the pile, reach up and grab your own face mask. It looks like somebody's grabbing your face. And I did, and it worked.

I almost fucking went. into shock. For the rest of the year, I was doing this and not doing what happened. What are you on face for? Coach Betancourt would do anything. By the way, I went up to varsity after the second game as a sophomore. That's right, motherfuggers. I was like, maybe I'll hear some, did I already read that? He said I had no idea what they were talking about, which, you know, and Jalen Hurts said, well, maybe if I say it in Swahili, That was a quote from Tony Soprano to his daughter when she was dating a black guy. He told her to get upstairs and she didn't he.

Maybe if I say it in Swahili. Oh my God, I shit my pants. The Interception put the game on ice for Philly. Holy shit, I didn't realize that either. The play gave Chicago the ball back to start the fourth quarter. And third string quarterback, Case, third string, I didn't realize that. Third string quarterback, Case Keenham, charged the bear. down the field through 13 plays that ended in his own one-yard touchdown run.

Pretty fucking weird. That's some wild stuff. And I did. I didn't do any follow-up to see if anybody complained or it just seemed to. And the Eagles looked very disinterested that night. So did Jalen Hurts. I could just feel it. Anyways, let's move on to Trump to the rescue of college sports like this guy is.

isn't Superman enough, the NCAA got one step closer to achieving its President Trump-aligned rule changes this week. For months, the president has been pushing sweeping adjustments to college athletics that would limit transfers, payments, and eligibility for athletes. And there's some good stuff in here. He says, and I quote, it will not only save college sports, it will save the colleges themselves, probably true. When all that money, as you've got to understand folks, as much as we don't like it, athletics, college athletics and the administrations and they're tied together now. When you see all those big beautiful computer buildings and shit, that wasn't bought

by the girls volleyball team. You know what I'm saying? So it's hard to untangle the money. And I understand the argument. If you're an athlete, a superstar in Alabama, Auburn, Georgia, and you're, you know, Your stadium's got 100,000 people in it every weekend. That's a lot of cash-ish. Anyways, on Monday, the Senate passed the Protect College Sports Act of 2026

in a 77 to 22 vote with the bill sponsored by Ted Cruz. I don't even know if he knew what football was. He's a very brilliant man. Let's take a look at the videotape of Mr. Trump. I mean, the alternative is just as no good. You had people leaving the NFL to play. Yeah. The colleges could never have afforded it, and nobody could afford it.

It was going to be a terrible thing. I think we've done a great job in putting it together. We have to get it voted on. And we're counting on the House, and I think the House will come through too. You are correct, sir. So it's passed in the Senate by a wide margin. But I think that's because of a lot of Republicans in the Senate. I don't give a fight.

But now the House. And I already heard one, two guys pushing back from the left. naturally because logic and reasoning scares the shit out of them. The bill, listen to this. Here's some of the change. The bill prohibits schools, conferences, and the like from restricting student athletes from entering into name, image, and likeness agreements. A lot of these kids are becoming millionaires, the big-name college athletes.

The school says, well, they do a deal where they sell your shirt, with your name on it, like you're, you know. And it just sounds. unhealthy. Students must report any NIL compensation. This is a new rule. To their school that's greater than 600 bucks. Where'd that figure come from?

Huh? That's the point, I guess. You're right. Yeah, but they could even said 2,500. 600 makes me laugh. Other big changes come in the form of limiting player and personnel

movement. This is what me in Dallas had to be. Student athletes are allowed only one transfer during their eligibility or they otherwise face having to sit out a year. I think that's how it used to be, by the way. And that's good. Thank you. I missed that when I read it last night. That's a good. That's a good one. Absolutely. The five-year eligibility window, and there's something else you're going to love in here, would also change effectively upending the red shirt system and replacing it. And now there's a red shirt system when you're, you're, you're, you're a freshman, you don't really get any games in, or under three, I forget what the rule is, you get an extra year of eligibility.

That's why you keep hearing them to say, he's a red shirt freshman or he's a true freshman. And that's what's scary. There's so many great athletes, there's like true freshmen starting for Florida. And it's like, what the fuck? There's one guy, Dallas, I can't even remember what team it was, running back. He was the number one recruit, I think, out of, you know, he had, listen to the, I'm not making this up. And I don't care at what level. This was at high school, and it was in a football state, because he was, you know, I think it might have been Florida, Georgia, I don't know. He had 169 touchdowns in high school. Now, let's say, I don't even know if he could play as a Friday. I guess you do. You can play four years in high school. That's

over 40 touchdowns a year. You only played 10, 11 games. That's an average of a four. Listen to this. On defense, he had 26 picks for his career. But those numbers are like, you couldn't do that running against your fucking nephews and nieces. I want to see, and I know they have the show 30, whatever, 30, 30. I want a show that's dedicated to, we get to watch these people in high school. I know, I think, you know, football fans would love it. Wouldn't you love to see fucking Barry, very, uh, Sanders? What's that said Sims?

Barry Williams, the guy from the... He played Greg on the Brady player. You'd like to see him running the ball? Wouldn't you like to see these superstars? Lawrence Taylor in high school? Anyways, so upending the red shirt system and replacing it with a fixed eligibility window. Here's the window.

Under the bill, five calendar years of eligibility would be initiated at the start of the academic year after the athlete has turned 19 or the day the athlete first enrolls full time in college, whichever comes first. For coaches, football personnel cannot, here you go, here's the one you love,

become the head football coach at a different institution during the same season. See what common sense, I guarantee this, everybody loves that. I mean, everybody that looks like the world the way we do. Don't you think that's great? Because it's so great. gross. And we've seen this in the last five years.

Fucking, a team gets into the play. Somebody's going into the playoffs. Your coach is all rah-rah for fucking six months telling you, you know, have your teammates back, you know, play as a team, loyalty to the school, blah, blah, blah. And then he goes, what? Vanderbilt wants to offer me $60 million for four years. I'm out of here. And they go before the fucking playoff game. Boy, if that doesn't fucking ring hollow.

Yep, it was Obis, Kiffin and LSU last year. Kiffin's funny. He knows he's a bad guy and he leans into it. The bill still faces a battle in the House in order to become law and will likely have to wait until after the midterm elections. However, the president still called the Senate vote a really, really, really big deal. Right here, college football.

And I'll tell you, the only reason that the Democrats will fight it is because they either want to put pork in it or solely because Trump's bill. Of course. Put pork in it. Again, one of my best jokes ever on national TV on the Sean Hannity show. And he turned white.

I probably said this on the show. I'm so proud of it. But Obama had just passed some bill with a ton of pork in it. And Hannity goes to me, and I was on a panel. I think, you know, that woman McFarland, she used to work for Reagan.

She was in the defense. she still commentates on TV. She fucking loved me during the commercial break. She goes, did you just think? Hannity goes, Nick, so why do you think he put so much pork in this bill? I go, I don't know. He's probably trying to prove he's not a Muslim. I mean, that is fucking, I'm sorry.

I like to blow my own. That is fucking a genius. You should have seen Hannity face onto the next person, which was so typical. And I like Sean Hannity. He's a fucking conservative. And that's how they handle a joke like that. Boy, that pissed me off.

I'm still proud of that one. Let's move on to Two-Face Fag. Texas Democrat, U.S. Senate, homosexual, and goo gobbler, and a real fucking pussy fag. James Telerico told the woman posing as a supporter on September 13th. So the woman is faking it. She's pretending she's a supporter. She's like a Republican. That his position on transgender issues hasn't changed,

according to an undercover clip, a video clip. So this woman's going undercover sort of. And he had already stated, he already stated that he said, no, I think it's unfair that biological women have to. I'm going to change my stance. He already made that public. The recording captured at Houston's, and this was after that, Houston Whaler Avenue Baptist Church,

shows the Democrat responding to a woman who asked whether he would defend her niece who was trans and her ability to compete in, woman's sports. So she's playing like she's a trans mother. And here's his answer after, again, stating in public that he was going to

have the opposite view. He initially said this type of and then got blowback and said, you know what, I'm going to backpedal on that. But this is what he does later on. I want to let her know that our government hears her. Can I count on you to support her?

She's not able to participate in her in the sports. The way I, the way I fought for trans kids in the legislature is how I will fight from the U.S. Senate. And my position hasn't changed. He's lying. I am not. You are so, you big...

Your big fibber. I don't know why I cut it there. Look at him. You know what? He likes to be around kids. How about that? He's all for that trans shit. Healthy tits being lopped off and dicks tied onto your neck. All kinds of shit. What a piece of fucking... And you want me to believe Okay, now my wife Is there a fucking fire

In Tommy's house? Let me check See what's going on here So thank you, take the way, shit Sorry, folks And there's a 10-minute one from Oh, that's, we'll get to that later. Anyways, back to the show,

Nothing important Just a fire in my kitchen. No, I'm kidding. Anyways, The candidate added that transgender sports eligibility should be handled locally and insisted his approach remain the broadest in the field. You're abroad. How about that? Right in your face.

I'll quote him. I still think these should be local decisions sport by sport. At the Home Depot. Tuesday's Friday at the Home Depot. Nick Sabin. Oh. Have you heard the fag really laying it on thick even more than you? year. Athlete by athlete, and I think

have the most inclusive policy of any candidate who's running. Excuse me. Fucking A. So I know things are getting clipped. He means like stuff he's saying and, you know, the editing issue and stuff, but

my views, my position hasn't changed. So he's fucking lying. The comments came four days after the Senate candidate told Fox News on September 9th that he opposed transgender athletes in girls sports. Okay?

Playing to the crowd. Absolutely. After sport, every sport has to be safe and fair. How would you know? How the fuck would you know, ballerina? Tiny dancer. That's my new name. Tiny dancer.

That's anybody now that we think. Talarico said in the interview. And so I will oppose trans athletes playing in girls sports if it risks safety or fairness. If, it always does. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you very much.

This guy is a real fucking, like I said, gobbler of goo. I bet you he has a jar filled from college of all the guys he was blowing and he spit it into a fucking Duke's Mayo jar. That's right, Duke's. It ain't Hellman's down here.

during the same appearance Talarico walked back to his past claim that there are six biological sexism yeah he also said that there's six biological sexes and pledged to absolutely support a national ban on gender transistence surgery for mine do you hear that?

Did you hear that outright lying and he's leading in Texas? I don't believe it I don't believe it I just don't believe it I don't I don't fucking believe it either the polls are wrong or if he wins something's rigged. End of fucking story.

I don't care. Finally tonight on your sister's box, Naomi Watts happily celebrated, speaking of speaking of goblers of goo, Naomi Watts happily celebrated her offspring with Leaves Schreiber. Remember him?

Becoming the first transgender identifying person to win a prestigious modeling award. What are the odds? What are the odds? A kid who's trans, mother, who's been a star in Hollywood and dad, won an award of first trans.

That's a guy on the left. That's a boy. Now, my only, I have a take on this that, I don't if you guys forgot, I really believe there's a spectrum.

You know what I mean? But it doesn't work the way they say. Obviously, you see a really dykey girl. She got more testosterone than she should have, well, less estrogen. You know what I mean? And that's how I look at.

but this when you go I'm going to cut off my dick or I mean now you get into and she doesn't look happy not even this I had some clip to her on the runway

I was jerking off to him and uh anyways but I know they're supposed to look like they're miserable you know those models do they ever look happy are they smiling

they're like I got a dick but I couldn't play those clips because of that stupid background, drumbeat music, house music, the shit I've written a paragraph about my book. The celebrity couple's child was born in 2008 with the name Samuel. Why didn't he change it to Samantha? But later identified as Kai. Well, let me tell you something.

You're not, oh, Kai. No, no. Kyle, Kai Schreiber, before signing with IMG as a model. I was there for a couple of years. God, were they tough on me? Every greasy Italian commercial. I'm also the first trans girl to win this award, the stupid tranny, he said.

She's the first. That's tremendous. That's every guy that brought home thinking it was a broad and then saw a big cock. Did you hear? Oh, cheap as crow. That's real, that's real puking. And by the way,

you want else going to know about me is I I I'm puking I know like my sister's my my wife still stick the thing my mother used to stick a finger down the throat because you feel better after you puke I'd rather die than puke when I puke I break blood vessels every time in my eyes I used to do a bit about it my hands are on the side of the toilet I'm doing a headstand and breaking blood I puke with violent it's violent and I don't like it I'd rather stay sick on the couch for a couple of days. Anyways, check the...

Beautiful people. What did he say? Look fierce. That's how you described that. You look just like a linebacker. Look at the little shoulders and shit, though. Do you see what I'm saying? Got the frame.

They showed him in a tight skirt walk and this... You must have the dick taped down. There's nothing there. I was very disappointed. I want to see some cock. Shriver said he was beyond excited about being accepted into the modeling industry. I'm also the first trans girl to win this award. You're not a girl, but boy, I'll tell you, I'd give you.

Again, if I was there and I had a couple drinks of me, I'd go, hey, who's that? And then she'd go, eh. He then said it wouldn't have been possible for him to be a model. If it weren't for all my sisters who paved away for me in the industry, not literally sisters, you know, all the other freaks. Leib Schreiber, who's a, you know, great actor, has expressed support for his son identifying as a girl. No, they're ignorant.

That's ignorant. I don't know what it's like for you to be a trans dad, he said, when asked about giving advice to other parents of transgender identifying as children. I don't know how you were brought up. I don't know what religion you encountered or what your spirituality is. And for me to tell you what I think I'm. about my kid feels like an overstep. Don't overthink it.

He went on to say, that's a nice way of saying I'm disgusted. He went on to say that raising teens is difficult whether they have a cock or a pussy, sometimes both. I'm out of my mind. I'm drinking a handle a day. He's a big fruit cup. I don't like them. Teen is difficult

whether or not, but, but the couple have another male child named Alexander Sasha. Is that a girl's name, Sasha? It's right, it's right. And so can Alexander. It's kind of popular in Russia, huh? Schreiber, Alexander, Sasha.

And that boy, he's an environmentalist activist. You know what? I'd rather hang out with a trans kid than this fucking asshole. How about that? How about that? Those people are crazy. They're terrorists. They'll burn shit down and say, you did it.

They go out when people are fishing, you know, commercial fishermen and blow up their boats and shit, tried to light it on. I'm not making the shit up. Google it. What a fucking, you know, Hollywood, you raise anything. If you raise a goddamn pet squirrel, the thing would be by. I've had enough for today, and I think you have two.

I can't wait to put my teeth in and go downtown and have a pop. Anyways, that's it. Boy, Senator, I went. Tomorrow's Thursday already. Are you getting creeped out? It's also the 1st of October. I know, Dallas. He loves to pile on. What was the thing you said?

that I was laughing at. It was a sports thing. Remember? Something about a pitcher coming up, some young kid or something. And you said something like, yeah, but it'll probably be back and triple. Man, what did I say? I can't remember that. Oh, my God. It was so Dallas. It's like he comes in. I see a cloud. They used to say this about me at the comedy seller. There's a rain cloud following me and the and then me. That's what it was. He had like a great outing on this just come out of the minors, had an awesome outing. I said, yeah, watch him fucking suck for the next thing

and go back to the minors. That's what he said. That was the Hall of Fame one. Even I, and I'm as negative as anybody, that made me fucking belly luck. All right, that's it. Cameo.com, if you want me to roast a friend or a relative, apparently nobody does,

I don't fucking blame you. I'm tired of life. But it is funny. If you let me say some shit about somebody you like or dislike, they might even be a fan, and they love to get it as a gift. All over the price.

Matter of fact, you can pay me. That's it. You guys think it. I'll say it, as I have been for 111 years. And we'll see you back here at the same time tomorrow. Have a good rest of the day, and I mean that. Hi. Good night, everybody.