The Nick DiPaolo Show - Thank You, Veterans!

Episode Date: November 13, 2018

Friggin’ Fla. Fraud. Nazi Salute No No. Thug Thumps Teacher.

🎵 Oh yeah! Happy Veterans Day, everybody. How are you? Monday. What is going on? 833-599-6425. 833-599-6425. The phone number

quick shout outs to nickdip.com contributors Tom Guck Bobby Wales for Roosie you can make one time contributions you go to nickdip.com

thank you guys so much you're the lifeblood of the show Saturday November 17th I'll be that's this Saturday the Comedy Shop of the show. Saturday, November 17th, I'll be, that's this Saturday, The Comedy Shop, Bud Lake, New Jersey. Friday, November 30th, Saturday, December 1st, The Corner Comedy Club, Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada.

Saturday, December 22nd, The Comedy Works, Saratoga Springs, New York. Monday, December 1st, 31st, excuse me, New Year's Eve, Tarrytown Music Hall. Saturday, January 12th, Fairfield Theater in Fairfield, Connecticut. Saturday, January 19th, Bobby V's in Windsor Locks, Connecticut. Saturday, January 27th, the Ventura Harbor Comedy Club Ventura, California.

Friday, April 26th, Steel Stacks in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Working on more dates as we speak. I just need to have the contract signed, but there's a few more coming. Here's me. This episode of the Nick DiPaolo podcast brought to you by Blue Chew. BlueChew.com.

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Folks, I had a great one. I went up to Comics, Mohegan Sun, Friday and Saturday. Last time I went up to, uh, comics, Mohegan sun Friday and Saturday. And, uh, last time I've been up, I was up there. I didn't, you know, casinos are tricky. The audience is a lot of time. There's free promos. They get in for nothing or they're drunk because they get free booze while they're gambling. And, uh, last time I was up there, it was kind of weird. And so I go back.

First of all, I'm thinking it's the same room that I taped Raw Nerve in. Turns out that's the comics at Foxwood. So it wasn't that room. So when I get there, I go, oh, I must be doing the nice cabaret room that I did when I was booked by this other guy. It wasn't that room. It was another room. And I'm going, oh boy, here we go. I hate fucking surprises.

You know what? It was unbelievable. It was another room and I'm going, oh boy, here we go. I hate fucking surprises. You know what? It was unbelievable. It was packed. Just missed selling out Friday night, both shows Saturday over 300 people. I can't thank you enough. That means a little extra money in my pocket. And, um, except for the first show Saturday, there were three broads and I mean like middle-aged housewives sitting in the three top to my right yapping away, yelling shit out at me the first five minutes of the show. And I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?

And years ago, I would have lost my shit. I told them to be quiet like three times. Finally, the doorman comes over, tells them to shut up. And he leaves. They start yapping again. The owner comes by, tells him to shut up and he leaves they start yapping again the owner comes by tells him to shut up and i said to the owner i said don't don't throw him out which years ago i would have been in their face i would have dropped the mic and ruined the fucking show but after being barred from uh many clubs not many but a few for doing that i said just

don't throw them off but just bye-bye and, blah. And so they leave, and you think, okay, because I was nice to them. Now they're pissed that they were told to be quiet. Now they start talking amongst themselves. And other than that, oh yeah, there were two women that got up

in the middle of the audience five minutes into my act and said, I go, where are you going? They go, you're an asshole. I go, okay, but all these other people don't know I'm an asshole. They fucking knew who they were coming to see. Lady gives me the finger. These are grown women. I'm not talking about

fucking teenagers or college aged, grown fucking women. Because I fucking was making fun of Hillary Clinton three minutes into this show. And that's the tolerant left. Those are the women that probably in the suburbs

that keep us Republicans from winning everything in a landslide. Give me the fucking finger. Once again, I would have lost my shit years ago. I just said, okay, the tumor has been removed. They let me smoke on stage and i smoked like fucking i changed smoke and it was great never killed harder

never took more pictures and here's the exciting thing folks many people mentioned the show this show after which means this is starting to work finally maybe that's why it was sold out i don't know but it was uh i left this stunned the second show was so good saturday night and that's the one i was really depressed about because like i said it's a casino and people are fucked up and i'm like this could be a bit of a horror show because there were drunk people at the first i i couldn't believe what i saw 300 people sitting and hanging on every word, laughing, getting the jokes. Some of the jokes that don't always work anywhere that I do for myself. So they're almost like too good. Comics will tell you this too. You can have an audience.

You're like, I can't even use that as a barometer. That was like a dream. So I suggest, you know, if you live up in that area and you see comics you like, go to comics, C-O-M-I-X, uh, Mohegan's son. I get into it with a, uh, you know, it's an Indian reservation. So I had, I had a little fight when I first got up to some of the people, one guy that worked at the hotel, somebody get it on camera and they sent it to me. This is me when I was trying to park my car and, uh, that's it. Anyways. Anyways, I got a little ugly. But, you know, it's an Indian reservation. And apparently, from what I gather from the prices in the mini bar,

they're trying to buy back Manhattan tomorrow at today's prices. I mean, a $21 Twix bar. What the fuck? I mean, it was fucking ridiculous. And I know you guys are staying in nice hotels. It's not a surprise to you, but I ordered a Caesar's salad. Caesar's salad and all these delicious things called egg rolls, cheesesteak egg rolls.

They were egg rolls with cheesesteak in them. But that and a salad, right, for those, 46 bucks. $46. I fucking six dollars. I'm telling you. Other than that, drove home Saturday night. Thank you guys for coming out. I would mention catchphrases from the show, and there'll be a round of applause out there. So something's happening.

Maybe I'll be running for governor sooner, but New York, I don't know. Let's go to Scott real quick, who is, I guess he was up there, Mohegan's son. Scott, how are you? Welcome to the show. Nick, how you doing, dude? Pretty good, thanks. Hey, great show. I was at the first show Saturday night with those.

I was just to the right of those three cackling bitches. I was in the blue shirt, dude, laughing my ass off. Great, great show. So glad I came out, dude. watching this show listening to this show and there were a lot of them second second that was sold out in the second show was sold out and uh after the show they kept mentioning this took a ton of pictures and seriously scott i i appreciate you on a weekend night uh you know getting in the shower driving to wherever i was so uh thanks a lot man yeah it was a great show and i just wanted to let you know too i'm a huge fan and i'm I'm spreading the word. And, you know, I have to listen to you in the morning. And you took over the Stern show for me. I'm a huge fan. And keep up the good work, man.

You appreciate it, Scott. Thanks for the call, man. That's what it takes, people. You come out and let this thing swell. And that's the thing I took away from the whole weekend. It's like they need, they're looking for somebody like me. And I've been doing it long enough where I, you know, a lot of people see me on TV, do Stan, but it's, it's, it's, I'm, I'm way better live.

And, uh, it's a lot of it's off the cuff and a lot of it's my act. And, uh, I usually don't talk like this after a gig. It's like the laughs dissipated into the night. I'll be doing another one next weekend, but I don't get excited about much anymore. It was frigging awesome. Last night, we do this annual thing almost every year for the last few years.

We go to Del Frisco Steakhouse, New York City. Who? Noam, the woman, the guy that owns the comedy cellar. We go to Del Frisco steakhouse, New York city. Who, uh, gnome woman, the guy that owns the comedy seller, SD, the woman who books it and Colin Quinn, Tom Papa,

Robert Kelly. Uh, and then there's a few mixed in every year that are different. And what the Del Frisco's ate, like King, I have enough red meat meat. If I can be toorican countries and uh just had a ball there laughing our ass off talking about everything from louis to to what's going on

in the comedy scene and uh del frisco's paid for all the dessert i you know no one picked up the bill i can imagine what it was had to be 12 people there stakes are like are like, you know, 50 something. They have fucking killer stakes. Anyways, that was my weekend. So yes, I'm going to slightly, slightly, uh, good mood.

Uh, as I said, happy veterans day. And I mean that for, for a guy like myself that does what I do for a living Memorial day, veterans day, it does mean a lot because these are the people, the people that are in the military,

the men and women who put their neck on the line every day around the world so I can shoot my mouth off. They're protecting the First Amendment. So I sincerely mean that. Here's a picture of my dad when he was a young Marine. Holy shit. What did they do back then? They put rouge, they put rouge on you and shit? That's not gonna scare

the fucking Russians or the Chinese. He looks like, he actually looks like a fucking bellboy at the hotel this weekend. That's how they dress. That's my dad, a young Marine. God bless him, he's 83 now. You know, he suffers from Alzheimer's. But it shaped his life i don't know

what happened to me why i didn't follow in the same track but uh just a good man uh and look he's a kid there and uh man he told me some great so he was uh camp lejeune north carolina was where he was stationed and he told me he used to fucking hitch back, hitchhike back all the way back to Massachusetts to see his girlfriend. And he was with a drunk Marine on the way back one time when he, they took a train, I guess. And the drunk guy he's with, he saw like an army and air force jacket and starts peeing on it. And the guy comes out, the army guy, like a six foot three black guy. And my father had to save this guy's life by wrestling with this fucking guy. He had killer

stories. I couldn't be proud of him. That's Nick. Big Nick, as they called him in high school. Put the fear of death in all my sister's boyfriends. 83.

Yahoo. boyfriends and um 83 yahoo uh then uh jason sent me this ad uh a jockey ad he saw in usa today mentioning uh what sacrifice looks like and i think jason you take us right see the guy with a prosthetic leg and uh even with a prosthetic, he's got a better body than most of us. And then the woman's a fireman. And maybe she has a bullet wound in her leg. I don't know. She's just smoking. And but like Jason's take, and it's exactly, I think they're taking a shot at like Colin Kaepernick.

And because that's what sacrifice looks like. Not walking down the street with a turtleneck on, a 1960s fucking fro, poo-pooing the country, and ooh, giving it all up. Oh yeah, I'm sure you'll be hurting soon. Try losing an arm or a leg like Joe Theismann did, and then we'll talk soccer.

I've seen some gruesome breaks this year in football. And, of course, you can't talk about Veterans Day. You know, we're with sports fans and football fans, but you can't forget this guy, Pat Tillman. Read the book. I don't even remember the title of it, but, you know, look at him and then look at Kaepernick, and who do you think

is going to have your back? I mean, this guy was killed by friendly fire, by the way, but he left a lucrative football career, Arizona Cardinals defensive back. He's a stud, and he left that right after 2001,

after the attacks on the towers. Okay, that's a fucking patriot. And I noticed this week, during Veterans Day, NFL had the, you know, paying tribute. And I know they've done it for a little while. A giant flag fills the field. I didn't see, maybe they didn't put the camera on it, but did anybody have the balls? Anybody unhappy with a kneeling then? I know your beef is mostly with the cops, but it's also with the flag and how racist

this country. I didn't see anybody kneeling. Not sure. Maybe they didn't put the camera on him, but it's tough to do when there's veterans right there, you know? What's the book? The book is Where Men Win Glory, The Odyssey of Pat Tillman by John Krakauer. That's right, Where Men Win Glory.

I read it a couple years ago. Unbelievable. Unbelievable story. And he was just a defender of everything good. Even in high school, he had some friends or a girl, not even a girl he'd be dating, somebody he was treating horribly,

they would sick pat on him. You want to fuck with that guy? I don't. Look at his jaw. He could fucking knock you silly. But not just the famous guys like him. My point is, thank you, vets, because, like I said, I get to shoot my mouth off. And real quickly,

and then I had some sad news. First of all, another teammate of mine at the University of Maine football player passed away in his sleep. He's like a year younger than me. And then I get an email from a guy in my hometown telling me that this guy, Richie Myers, he was two years older than me, went to school with my sister Donna.

I played football. He was the captain a couple years ahead of me. And one of these gentle guys, nice. I remember I was a young kid. I told my sister Donna, this guy is so cool. He treats everybody nice. And, you know, he was just a badass on the football field. And he's the first guy I got drunk with, him and another friend of mine, Scott,

standing in the woods behind the high school. I was probably in what, seventh grade? I don't know. Drinking Schlitz, Kansas Schlitz, in 10-degree weather in the woods behind Danvers High School. And anyways, real bad news for him. He's got melanoma, and it came back. Bottom line, he's at stage four. And he's got a family.

He's got kids and a wife and grandchildren. And you guys would love this guy. Just, just a quiet, quiet, hard, you know, just a tough guy who had no, no ego whatsoever. But anyways, I need to go to the gofundme.com. There's Rich right there. Geez, he looks like Richard Dreyfuss. Doesn't he? This was no boating accident.

I mean, just a great guy. I think that's his grandkid, actually. But go to GoFundMe.com, and it's called Help the Myers Family, M-Y-E-R-S. And if you could donate, I don't care if it's a nickel. Every bit helps. He hasn't worked in a couple years because of this and uh you know he needs experimental uh drugs and stuff and and uh so go to go to gofundme.com help the Myers family um I sent some swag they're gonna have an online auction so uh but I I know you guys I know you

fans what you like and you'd like the guy I, he was a football captain in high school and just, just like a family guy. It always happens to the best people. I can think about 12 people that I went to high school with that I would hope not get cancer, but, uh, you know, something that sprained an ankle real bad and it would get infected. Um, anyhow, please do that for me. Will you, if you, if you're a fan of mine, I appreciate, even if you're not just do it for a humanitarian sake, let's get to it. Well, uh, three, let's go now. Let's go to Ron and stat nine before I get off the veteran three-time combat that he

wants to share a story. Um, what happened to him in Iraq with Viagra? Suppose if you get caught. Anyways, he'll tell us. Ron, what's going on? Happy Veterans Day, and thanks for your service, pal. Nicky D, how you doing, buddy? I'm doing all right.

Well, let's see. I was deployed in Iraq from 2006 to 2007, and I was on the base of what was called LSA Anaconda, and I did base security. We had to search all of the Iraqis when they came. We had to search all the vehicles, make sure no one was dangerous. And the Viagra part is, Viagra was sold completely over the counter. It was perfectly legal in Iraq.

So we let the shipment of Viagra come on base and it got stolen and it was a big box and all day all day long we were looking around for a bunch of hardened criminals baby Ronnie help me did you ever find it there was some stiff competition that day did ever find it? There was some stiff competition that day, baby. Did you find it? No. No, not at all. Well. We knew someone was getting lucky. And the funny thing was is when you're deployed, when you go to Iraq and Afghanistan, which is crazy,

you're not allowed to have sex. But yet they're bringing Viagra on base. So somebody's having sex in Iraq and Afghanistan. But it wasn't me. But someone was, so God bless them. If it was stolen by the enemy, they were probably having sex with young males. As you know, that's kind of popular in the

culture over there. And if it wasn't, it was probably the officers. Yeah, that's fucking crazy, man. Again, Ron, thank you so much for your service, man. You're a true patriot, thanks for calling hey I

I 2007, that's when I was in Afghanistan, not fighting, telling jokes me and Artie Lang and Baba Bowie and Jimmy Florentine Dave Attell, what a trip man what a trip we went and did comedy at a forward

operating base. I told you, the whole purpose of the base was to draw military fire. They were out in the middle of nowhere. They flew us out like Chinook helicopters and Blackhawks. We had to be escorted by Blackhawks. I got to sit in a gunner's seat. I told the story many times.

The guy let me shoot the machine gun, and then I saw him getting chewed out once we landed. Apparently, we were sort of over friendly territory when I was shooting the guy. I don't know how they do it, but I hope Rotten was serious. I hope he was from Staten Island. I hope he wasn't stationed in Staten Island.

Anyways, thanks for your service. And this is the shit we're fighting to defend. I should have said they are, uh, Donald Trump. Uh, he says the president in an honest vote count, this is talking about Florida is no longer possible. Ballots massively infected. He wrote on Twitter, must go with election night results. And, uh, I think we'll get into this uh if if you don't think that's a

fucking fraud going down the floor again i i hate to pick sides but we're gonna get into the the woman who's uh you know in charge of counting ballots down there who who's already getting in trouble not for this election for prior elections for hiding ballots and not in putting amendments on the ballots and and uh brenda snip, we'll get to her in a second. Large number of new ballots showed up out of nowhere, and many ballots are missing or forged, Trump wrote, referring to the thousands of additional votes in Broward County and Palm County. Brenda Snipes, she's the Broward County Supervisor of Elections.

Dr. Brenda C. Snipes. She's the Broward County Supervisor of Elections. Dr. Brenda C. Snipes. Could be Donna Brazil's sister. Looks just like her. Nick, what are you saying? They all look alike? No, I'm not saying that, but I'm saying she should have that tick removed before she

gets Lyme disease. Every time I see somebody with one of those on their face, I think Colin Quinn. You guys are not going to remember. This is the singer with the high voice, big black dude. I can't remember. Not the Isley Brothers. I forget.

Anyways, he's got a giant mole. Colin Quinn said to me, we were looking at a picture of one day, and he goes, if I had it on my face and the doctor told me there was a 50-50 chance of me dying from the operation, I'd still have it done. Ah, that fucking Irishman. Anyway, Snipes, Brenda Snipes is the Broward County Supervisor of Elections who was sued by Republicans accusing the county of being unavailable to provide accurate vote counts from Tuesday night's gubernatorial and Senate elections. Brenda Snipes was sued, along with Palm Beach County Supervisor Elections' Susan Butcher,

by Florida Governor Rick Scott's U.S. Senate campaign. Scott leads incumbent Democratic Bill Nelson by less than.02%. Both Snipes, who is backed by former Republican Governor Jeb Bush, which tells me she's incompetent, and Booker are Democrats in counties that overwhelmingly favor Democrats. Nelson leads Scott by more than a 2-1 margin in Broward and by nearly 20 points in Palm Beach. The lawsuit accuses Snipes and Butcher, or Booker,

of failing to say how many ballots are still unaccounted and where they came from. That doesn't smell like fish. It's been over 48 hours since the polls closed and Broward and Palm Beach counties were still finding and counting ballots. And the supervisors, Snipes and Butcher, cannot seem to say how many ballots still exist,

where these ballots came from, or where they have been, Scott said at a news conference on Thursday. Broward County still has early and mail-in ballots to count while palm beach county still has uh mail and ballots to count and these are the five things you need to know about this woman who i wouldn't trust as far as i could fucking throw just by the way she votes nick what are you saying oh nope just her snipes was asked to serve as the supervisor of elections in Broward County nearly 15 years ago, shortly after the infamous 2000 Florida recount in the presidential race between Gore and Bush. Snipes was appointed in November 2003 after the predecessor was forced out amid controversy

under former county supervisor Miriam Oliphant. WTSP reports uncounted votes were found stuffed in a cabinet drawer, and her department was more than a million dollars over budget. Snipes, who lives in the county since 64, was reelected in 2004, 8, 12, and 2016. Of course, even though she had a shady history, because you're not going to fire a black woman, she'll sue you for racism. Snipes has come under fire before. A judge ruled that her office improperly destroyed ballots too early in 2016 congressional race.

Her office was also accused of facilitating voter fraud. But a judge cleared Snipes and her office of any wrongdoing in the case. In 2016, Brenda Snipes' office posted election results half an hour before the fucking polls closed. A violation of election law. That same year, and this is Scott talking, her office was sued for leaving amendments off of ballots. In 2014, Brenda Snipes' fellow Democrats accused her of individual and systemic breakdowns that made it difficult for voters to cast regular ballots. But you can see with a history like that, you know, you would want to fire her.

Snipes rejected allegations of wrongdoing prior to the election in an interview with the Miami Herald. She says, I think the problems are blown out of proportion. It's only a fucking election. Broward is nitpicked to the bone. In other words, I'm a victim once again. Other places have the same problems, different problems. It's just that they are not spotlighted like we are and why is that because you're black or because you're a

woman well why is that it's because you have a history of fucking incompetence you're perfectly don't give me that smart ass shit oh another thing you should know about her uh this is late tuesday night i'll listen to to this. This is Scott talking. Late Tuesday night, our win was projected to be around 57,000 votes, Scott said at the news conference. By Wednesday morning, the lead dropped to 38,000. By Wednesday evening, it was around 30,000. Then he said the next morning it was around 21,000. Now it's 15,000.

Are you fucking dog styling me? I hope they have every lawyer. The Republicans have every lawyer on the planet and cops up her ass. I'm calling it. I'm calling it fraud. They keep finding new votes. And Scott's votes are dwindling after the election. On election night, Broward County said there were 634,000 votes cast.

At 1 a.m. today, there were 695,700 ballots cast on election day. At 2.30 p.m. today, the number was up to 707,223 ballots cast on election day, 707,223 ballots cast on election day. And we just learned that that number has increased to 712,840 ballots cast on election day. Oh! Call me paranoid.

In Palm County, there were 15,000 new votes filed since election night. Are you shitting me? Oh, Nick, you're a partisan hack. You're a right winger. You're paranoid. You have to be fucking kidding me. Oh, Nick, you're a partisan hack. You're a right winger. You're paranoid. You have to be fucking kidding me. This from the, as they call it, the criminal enterprise, a.k.a. the Democrat Party, who would have illegals voting out in California.

We've been over it a million fucking times. They're filthy people. They need the power. The future is brown and black, and they'll do anything to get the vote and to win. The margins for both the Senate and governor's races are now within the threshold to trigger an automatic recount florida requires machine recount of any race separated by 0.5 or fewer after conceding the race on tuesday gillum remember we talked about him now says he's uh awaiting for all the votes to be counted the race between scott and nelson is even, meaning it is likely headed for a hand recount.

Under Florida law, a manual recount of ballots set aside from the machine recount will be ordered in any race with a margin of 0.25% or lower. And there's big discrepancies as far as how many people voted in the Senate race and the gubernatorial. Listen to this.

Sorry to read so much, but I mean, a crime is underway. It's active. This is like walking in during a stick-up. Fucking 7-Eleven. Do something! While a big issue is the remaining votes in the two counties,

a likely bigger issue may be the discrepancy between the number of votes for gubernatorial and Senate candidates in Broward County. CNN reports that there were nearly 26,000 fewer votes cast for a Senate candidate than gubernatorial candidates in the county. The biggest discrepancy in the two races among all of the state's 67 counties by about 23,000. Photos are shared to Twitter, show the ballot placed the Senate race in the lower left-hand corner of the ballot, before a long list of instructions on how to vote for fucking severely retarded people. By comparison, in Miami-Dade County, where the race was on the top right of the ballot,

more people voted for Senate candidates than governor candidates. In total, 3% of people who voted for governor in the county failed to cast a vote in the Senate race, because of where it was on the frigging ballot. They can't even get that right. Fucking Florida. What is so goddamn tough? With all this technology, like I said, you should still have to go to the voting booth. And when you fill out your shit and you put it in the machine, why doesn't it spit out a receipt

of how you voted in a picture of it? Why? Because my cynical friends would tell you, this is all bullshit, Nick. You're crazy to even vote. I remember Brett Butler. Remember her? She was famous. She had a show on ABC back in the 90s. We were talking about elections and shit at a dinner in California with me

and I'm managing stuff and I was getting all heated. She goes, isn't that cute? He thinks his vote still matters. And I wanted to fucking choke the life out of it. Especially, you know, think about that, saying that when we're talking about veterans who have lost their arms and legs defending. Yeah, it does matter. Call me fucking naive. But you can't tell me

Brenda Snipes, if she was a fucking white guy, Nick, why do you bring race into it? Well, the other side brings race into it every fucking breath and gender. If she was a white guy, they would have fucking canned her. That's not canned her. Canned her. Not like she had

canned her. Just the opposite. She's fucking slimy and backhanded. I'm telling you, she's dirty. She's like Jimmy Conway in Goodfellas. Okay, that's going a little too far. And listen to this. In August, I'm almost done, folks.

And we get on to the dick jokes and the funny videos. Jason just applauds. This is what happens on Monday. All the hard news breaks on Monday. You can't ignore something like this. There's a felony going down in Florida. There's 75 every minute down there. In August, a judge ordered Brenda Snipes to take a shower.

She stunk like a bag of mackerel. What? A judge ordered Brenda Snipes in her office to stop opening mail-in ballots in secret or before the Broward County Canvassing Board could determine if the ballots were valid. That was back in August. But again, she's clean, right? Please tell me, celebrities in Hollywood,

please tell me how Trump's in that Rob Ryan is bad-mouthing Trump. And please tell me, Patton Oswalt and Sarah Silverman cursing out the president on Twitter. Fucking broad. She had a dick. Nobody would know who she is. Funny.

Funny as baby cancer. So, yeah, there's a lot of shit going on. It's always Florida, huh? Third World Republic. Dirty party. Dirty party. Dirty. You really don't believe they're capable of this stuff?

On a national level, you have the Russian collusion story. Adam Schiff's all over the TV saying he can't wait to get started on that again. This is what they're going to run on in 2020? So, you know, they created that. And you really believe they're not capable of. And this Snipes woman has a checkered past to say the least. I'm being generous when I say that. What's that?

A relevant super chat. That's kind of unusual. Go ahead. All right. So Chris Kaufman Jrr and they the government hold on can i oh is it is anybody else in the chat room other than chris kaufman jr i mean i love the guy and shit every day what he almost like there's a super chat almost every day so he wins he throws down more money or something i i love the guy but jesus i like to hear from the other 4400 people chris scoffman jr says and they the government wonder why 50 of americans have no

faith in democracy i don't know where he got that chris always has statistics and half of americans don't vote is what he means yeah i know what he means you titless wonder thanks for clearing up gee i thought he's talking about brazil Brazil and the 50% thing I needed to explain to me too, Ryan. What I think he means by 50% is, Nick, let's say you have a pizza and there's eight slices. I eat four of them. That's right around

50%. You gotta love the fucking twinks, don't you? One of them super capable, the other one crazy as a shithouse rat, but he's dressed like a guy today, or maybe a lesbian. Something from the Ellen DeGeneres collection. The headphones match the

shirt. Very nice, Ryan. He looks like he's 11 right there. Let's call him Diane for the rest of the show. Go ahead. Another one? Yeah, I got one more. Yeah. Not related, but Nick, fucking fantastic show Friday night. Loved every minute of it. You should be selling out Madison.

The contribution is for a pack of smokes on me. Enjoy. Mike Rossi. I don't know how to take that. Oh, yeah. I met Mike at the bar after the show. Typical Rhode Islander. Real dour attitude.

Puss on his face like me, reminded me of me when I was his age, and, uh, but yeah, he came out with people, and you know what, Mike, can't thank you enough, brother man, um, and if you notice the, uh, the phone calls, we were talking about the, uh, delay and stuff, they're, they're working on something else, but again, I was trying to explain to Mike that this is, uh, like I said, this is like TV in the 50s it's at the fucking infancy stages so between the natural delay of cell phones and having to go through the internet

but they're working on it Backbone's a good company if you guys are going to do something like this I would say call Backbone 833-599-NICK the phone number we got Nick, the phone number. We got... Johnny Russo's got some information,

maybe an update since I was preparing this afternoon about the Florida recount. Let me guess. They found a 7,500 ballots in fucking Donna Snipe's... I don't know, Garage? What does she live in a lane to? Johnny Russo, welcome to the show.

Thank you, pal. You know, I was on your old Artie Nick show, and I met you many times. I'm the author of Anthony Cummings' book. But I got to tell you, I'm a Republican operative, and I work for the Bush family. And Rick Scott will win, and Ron DeSantis will win that re-election and now do you believe that john because i heard i heard they have like the best lawyers i heard one of the radio talk show hosts once they found out we're down there

too we we have our best people down there too this shit in broward county will not stand uh rick scott will be the next senator and r DeSantis will be the next governor, period. Why? Why are you so sure? Johnny? Johnny? I guess not. All right. Sorry, Johnny.

I asked you why you were so sure and I gave you five seconds to answer and I heard nothing. He was probably preoccupied. He was playing a video game. Maybe he probably knows something that we don't. But we shall see. DeSantis was the guy that's running against Gillum for governor.

Gillum, the black guy who has more Palestinian fucking ties than Arafat did when he was alive. And all the anti-Semitic shit that I read to you about people who work for him. And he conceded it in his race and then unconceded. Probably get a call from Snipes saying, hey, don't give

up yet. I got three Asian kids tied to a loom in the back making fucking yarn ballots. I don't know. But Johnny Russo might be in the know. So I hope he's right. Here we go.

Professor on leave. A professor at a community college in Connecticut has been placed on paid administrative leave after giving a Nazi salute during a meeting. Charles Merrick, an assistant professor of business and economics at Housatonic Community College, held his right arm in a Nazi salute for up to 10 minutes. He should get a trophy for that alone. You know the tricep?

It's in the... I couldn't do that now. I have tennis elbow. Up to 10... And I wouldn't. I find it disturbing. Up to 10 minutes during November 2nd meeting

at Manchester Community College where administrators from the Connecticut State Colleges and universities, and this is key, were discussing ways to align curriculum across the state's community colleges. The reports of a faculty member outburst at a meeting last week, including the use of a Nazi salute, which required campus police to respond.

How funny is that? A guy gives a Nazi salute, and I'll tell you why he was doing it. And the police had to be called. These are grown-ups, folks. These are fucking grown-ups. Because there was nobody on the other side to go up to him and go, what the fuck are you doing, dude?

Because that would take confrontation and balls. And call the police. Later on, he gave somebody the finger and they called the SWAT team. Yeah, fucking cyst is wide, pale ass. Let me read on because it's important why. So they call the police. But the guy, the president, Mark O'Jackian, said it's appalling and unacceptable.

Several staffers who attended the meeting contacted O'Jackian to inform him how they felt violated, unsafe, and shocked by Mayrick's behavior. You felt unsafe as a grown-up? Did you really? Because somebody did this? It made you feel unsafe, did it? And these are grown-ups, folks. These are fucking grown-ups. you should have went over and tried to snap his fingers off ball is titless wonders each and every one oh merrick's displeasure was tied

now listen this is what's important to the story was tied to a proposal to consolidate all of the state community colleges into a single statewide entity, Stafford said. That way you can push your fucking shitty liberal agenda on young kids and indoctrinate them and have it uniform. You don't have to make a phone call and go, hey, are you telling them white people are bad and masculinity, it's toxic,

we're going to have workshops on that. You don't have to do that. Ryan, could you look more disinterested? I can't wait. I want to hear your radio show at that college. What are you talking about? Random bullshit. It's absolutely...

Sometimes you talk about journalism. Sometimes we rip apart news articles that are really biased. That's the goal. Yeah, but you voted for Cuomo. Biased in what way? Okay. I'll get to you in a second there, honey. Anyways, so, yeah, they're trying to make it, you know, consolidate all the states, community colleges in a single statewide entity.

Steve Ginsburg. Now, here's a guy from the ADL, which is the Anti-Defamation League in Connecticut, says he doesn't automatically assume that someone is anti-Semitic if they raise their arm in a Nazi salute. Finally, a little bit of logic comes into this. Is that him doing it? That's the only picture we could find of it. See, I saw the picture earlier, and I thought

that was growing out of the woman's shoulder. I thought it was a symposium on fucking rare conditions. Steve, so Ginsburg from the ADL says, I don't automatically assume someone who is anti-Semitic if they raise their arm in a Nazi salute. He says, frankly, when you think someone's being

too authoritarian, which is what this guy was saying. He was saying they were acting like Nazis by consolidating this is my take on it. So he was doing this. But if you read the headlines and shit, you'd think he was just an angry right-wing man, you know, going, you know,

this is what I believe in. Which he's saying they're being authoritarian by consolidating all the community. So that's what he was doing. So on the surface, it's really, but again, in a country that prides itself on free speech and on Veterans Day, you've got to call the fucking cops.

And it's... I mean, I'm so embarrassed for us. He says... I'll say it again. This is a guy from the ADL. When you think someone's being too authoritarian, there are more effective ways of communicating that point than using a Heil Hitler or Nazi salute.

And I'm sure there are. But he's actually implying that it was a little, you know, overreaction, I guess. I'm sure the jerk-offs that run the college put this picture up and said, look, a typical Donald Trump man. After Merrick's

conduct, employees at the meeting held a moment of silence to honor the 11 people who were killed by a gunman who stormed into the Pittsburgh synagogue. Because you know, anytime anybody does this somewhere, a Jew is shot. This is the mentality that's brought down this country. If a comedian

uses the word faggot on stage, that means the gay guy's going to get beat up somewhere tonight. You make a joke about a black person, that means something bad's going to happen. That's the childlike fucking logic and reasoning behind political correctness. And as we know, political correctness is when they control the language so they can control your behavior. And there's only one party guilty of that.

And if I can Brenda see Snipes belongs to it. So he got the boat. Is that really a punishment? I bet you he's glad that he's away from those fucking children. Children of the corn. 833-599-6425 is the phone number.

You guys listen to my podcast, even when I was on a connect pal.com, I talked about something called disparate impact. It was something that the Obama administration was trying to pass. And it was, uh, it was specific to a few schools, one of them in Minneapolis.

And basically a shorthand explanation of disparate impact is they went into a bunch of high schools and they looked at students who were suspended and they noticed that black students were being suspended at a higher rate than white students. And instead of next asking, like anybody would in their logical, reasonable mind, well, why is that? Was it because of their behavior? They don't even ask that second question. They see more black students being suspended for bad behavior than whites, so it's automatically racism. It's like when they look

at towns that are majority white and they go, that's because of racism, not because people choose or choose not to live there. It's called disparate impact. And they try to imply this, they try to impose this shit on school systems all over the country i'll never remember that out of the eight years of obama reading that story and almost

passing out i was so fucking angry disparate impact google it well um so they've made it now and i remember watching i i think it was o'reilly had a guy on for a teacher who got punched in minneapolis or an administrative person from the school. So literally now in some schools, if you're a student of color, you can literally physically assault a teacher and not be suspended. You might get detention for it. I'm not making this shit up. You can Google it. Why am I bringing this up?

Because the headline here, disorderly student punches a teacher in the face a video went viral of a student who punched an unsuspecting teacher in the face on wednesday the baltimore city public schools stated it was investigating the incident that happened at uh did it happen at the abraham lincoln school or the george washington school or the jeb Bush School. I can't think of any white leaders in Baltimore. No, it happened at the Frederick Douglass High School. Maybe if we just change the names of some of these black high schools,

that would maybe help a little bit. Make it the Kanye West High School or the fucking Michael Joy. Somebody who wasn't so controversial. Frederick Douglass was actually a smart dude. Anyways. Here's the video of the fucking

student. Is that a... What the fuck are you talking about? Daniel. Don't fucking get smart with me. I didn't get smart with you. Straight up. Daniel. I thought she was smart. She said that I was getting smart with her. Is that a... I think that's a girl that threw the punch. Are you with me? Ryan would know this better. She said she said that I was getting smart with her, so...

Who said what? The teacher said? The teacher said she? Yeah, the teacher said she. Go ahead. Play it again. But that's... Yeah, that's... Not me Go ahead, play it again. But that's, yeah, that's not me.

I'm ready to go. Daniel! Daniel! I didn't get you. Daniel! She said that I was gay. She said. Yeah. Okay.

Nick, I'm sure somewhere a white student's done that to her. Yeah, and I'd say for every white student that's done it, I'll show you 21 videos like that. And I guarantee you, this brought Mike at a half-hour detention or whatever. But do you hear the student? I mean, the teacher? Dania, I didn't say...

Instead of just, the teacher should be, you know, chased her out the door. And she's actually still rational. And again, Google disparate impact. I don't know

if they're applying it here in the Baltimore schools. What a shithole, Baltimore. Not the city itself. I've been there many times. I do comedy there. But I'm just saying. Another city run by liberals. Nick, what's that got to do with this?

Oh, everything. This lady's like a religious lady. They get punched. Identify the teacher as a chemistry teacher who is also a respected elder at a church. Naturally, just a good woman. Baltimore City School spokesman E.D. House-Foster said, House-Foster added that according to the Baltimore Sun,

ensuring a safe teaching and learning environment for our students and staff is paramount to city schools. Well, it's an absolute fucking lie. I mean, you say that, those are just words, but we have evidence. This isn't the first video that's surfaced like this. I'd like to follow, guys, follow up on this. See if we can find the student's name.

Not today, but I want to see if they follow through and she's booted out of school or whatever. Don't get smart with me. Love to see that household she was brought up in. Stevie Cobb. This guy's been a long-time follower of mine.

He's in Vegas, I believe. Steve, what's going on? Hey, what's going on, Nick? Not too much. How you doing, brother? You still in Vegas? Hey, man, it's been a long time. No, you know what? I'm still down in Houston now.

Okay. So, hey, man, I wanted to thank you, brother, for all your support with us and the veterans and stuff. And I still hope you got that coin I gave you. Of course I do. I get great stuff from you guys. When we went to Afghanistan, they sent us, they sent a flag, they sent me a flag that they actually flew off one of the Jeeps and stuff that I have.

Yeah, the coins. Steve, refresh my memory again on your service. Well, military police, we were in Afghanistan. Matter of fact, some of the same places that you went, I was at. You know, like when you came to the country, you went into Kyrgyzstan. Remember that?

Yes, yes. Remember that place you guys, I think that's like when you and Artie and Baba Booey and all that stuff first came in. Yeah. And it was like that base. You could drink beer at like 8 o'clock in the morning. That's right. You know, and the prostitutes over at the airport side, yeah. Yes. I's right. You know, and the prostitutes over at the airport side, yeah. Yes!

I almost got, I told people on this show, as we were leaving, we had to go through Kyrgyzstan again. Creepy little airport, it's the middle of the night, there's prostitutes hanging.

And then we had to leave the next morning, I had to go through like security there. All my buddies, including Artie, like passed through and the guy looked

at my passport and asked me where else we went like an idiot i said we went somewhere else and then he gets a serious look on his face and next thing i'm i was having that midnight uh what was that movie uh the guy in the fucking prison over in turkey uh midnight express my heart started beating my heart and they held me and then i see the guy the veteran that's taking care of us is a black dude. Cool. Though he was in Vietnam. He was in charge of us being over there. I see him getting in an argument with one of the Kagerstead guys.

And Steve, we had to. You know what's funny about that whole thing? Nothing. It's the guy that should have been searched already, you know, because you're in the opium capital of the world. He's the guy that gets the walkthrough, right? Yeah. No, exactly.

Steve, thanks so much buddy uh for your service and uh seriously we appreciate it man hey brother next time you use and let me know man we keep in contact online so just next time you're down let me know hey uh the steve i got the coin right here i believe i don't know if you're watching the show with streaming live, but it's awesome. The thing weighs like two pounds. I use this thing for my iPad.

It came in a red case you gave it to me, and I propped my iPad up with it. I didn't realize this. I have a whole bunch of these. I didn't realize this was the one, so we just put it up on TV for you or the internet. Hope you're well, buddy.

Take care. Um, yeah, I made that joke about Artie when we went over to Afghanistan. That was one of the first jokes I said, I said, I said, I don't want to say Artie. I had a heroin problem. I said, we got off the plane in Afghanistan. It was like three guys waving to him from a poppy field going, what a, what a one-time experience, man. And I almost get embarrassed talking about it.

You know, we're up there having fun on the helicopter. Although those things go down all the time now. Since I got back, I don't know how many have gone down. But the thing to be up in one of those and being shot at and shit, that is not what we did. We told jokes at noontime. They flew us all the way out to this

forward operating base and there's a little stage set up it's like literally one o'clock in the afternoon it must have been 115 now and there was like 60 total people we were playing though in other words like one of my shows only during the daytime but you know what what an experience and you see how these guys live and and and and barracks, and everything's two-by-fours and wood and unfinished. And you're like, God bless. And they couldn't have been nicer to us. And Artie was just like Bill Murray in stripes. Every time we were supposed to be out the door at 8 a.m.,

he was straggling along, waiting for Artie. Supposed to have our bulletproof vest on. He's carrying his. And boy, man, did he make me laugh he was more fucking one funny dude um anyways super chats go ahead all right so i got one from dustin toland yeah i thought diversity was a strength nothing more diverse than throwing a nazi throwing a nazi salute yeah good point yeah exactly when uh and again and you don't want to do that because i know there's jewish people and and and relative they sell people who have survived the holocaust and and i understand but

but if if if people have read the headline you'd think you know he was making a point that they would be an authoritarian and like the guy said from the A. Dale, I guess there's better ways of doing it in this day and age. But you know what? We're talking about it. And maybe he wanted to get the message out there, what they're trying to do as far as consolidating all those schools with the same curriculum. You know, it makes it easier to indoctrinate kids by the thousands.

You don't want everybody on different pages and have diverse thoughts and thinking and whatnot. Another one. Go ahead. Green Bastard from Canada says, come to a show in Winnipeg. Okay. Pick me up at the airport tomorrow around 1.30.

I'll do one for you and your parents in the kitchen and then I'll go on to Ottawa. I've been to Winnipeg. No offense. It made Baltimore look like Las Vegas, only with white people. No, it was great. I did a club called Rumors.

Green Bastard, go to Rumors. You know, it's the only club up there. And this was way at the beginning of my career. They used to make you do, listen to this, listen to this. I want you to listen carefully. Tuesday through Sunday, which is a long week, even for back then, but you had to do it back to back weeks. Tuesday to Sunday, Tuesday to Sunday. And I was there in the winter. People were plugging their cars in. I remember I tried to walk to the mall like an idiot.

I had like a windbreaker on that you'd wear in the fall. I got about 11 feet from the hotel. I almost started crying. And it was the most brutal. I had the best Caesar salad at the hotel ever. But I was so happy when I got home. I literally, I was like a guy returning from Iraq. I kissed the ground at JFK or LaGuardia. I had tears in my eyes.

It was the longest tour. And the club is great. My LaGuardia. I had tears in my eyes. It was the longest tour. And the club is great. My picture's still there. Somebody took a picture of it at work there. And a guy wrote a review. That's where he labeled me as gentle as a starved wolverine. And I still have that in my press kit and stuff. And apparently back then I was a prick.

What can I tell you? Oh, here we go. This is the story. Let's lighten it up a little bit. An elderly retired actress. I'm watching the news last night. Me and my wife watching a local, and there's like an old Jewish woman on there complaining she has no heat in her apartment.

She was, you know, with that real New York accent and lives on the Upper East Side of New York. An elderly retired actress who was whacked on the Sopranos says being killed off on the Upper East Side of New York. An elderly retired actress who was whacked on The Sopranos says being killed off on the TV shows nothing compared to the slow death she's experiencing in her Upper East Side apartment.

This broke my heart. Wheelchair-bound, you can tell as I'm giggling, wheelchair-bound Fran Anthony, 87, is one of about 15 residents at 260 East 72nd Street, Manhattan, who have been without heat and hot water for the past six days.

Look at the poor thing. I thought it was a... I thought it was a picture of Einstein in the hospital, but they didn't have... She says, now this broke my heart, a lot of the neighbors have friends they can go to or a relative they can go to I don't have anybody

if anybody lives in this building watching the show or near it go bring her a nice sandwich please and a bowl of soup or maybe a cruller or just a ghost pepper to heat her up Anthony, listen to this

for you Sopranos fans, you don't recognize it because she looks so different. Anthony played Min Matron. Mini Matron in the fourth season of the HBO Mafia series. Her character socialized with mother of Soprano capital, Paul Pauly Walmuth's Gaultieri,

who smothered her with a pillow when she caught the wise guy trying to rob her house. This is one of my favorite scenes in the whole history of The Sopranos. He's there. What are you doing? Man, your door was open. I brought you something from my mom.

What are you doing in my house? Take it easy. I didn't know you were home. Your car was gone. It's being repaired. What are you doing? Calling your mother. What are you doing?

I know you. You got any coffee? My kitchen's all wiped off for the night. Well, this week then, I'll bring my ma, the three of us will go have lunch over at pal's cabin. Huh? You're here to rob me. No, no, what are you, crazy?

Just calm down, okay? You're a disgrace to your mother. Don't set that thing off. You think I'm here to hurt you? You've known me since I'm a kid. Help! What are you doing? Help! Help! kid. Help! What are you doing? Help!

Help! Help! Fuck! Help! Men, wait! You were always a little bastard! Shut up with that fucking mop! Help!

Help! Shut up with that fucking mop! Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh. Can you put the very last scene with her eyes closed when she's the very last part of that? I think they drew eyes on her eyelids. I'm serious. They made it look like her eyes were half closed. I think she might have had a problem doing that as an act. Watch.

It looks like they... It might be hard to do it if it is no biggie. But it looks like they drew her eyes on her eyelids. What are you doing? Don't worry about it. There you go. Doesn't it look like they're drawing on her eyelids with makeup? Don't you think? I got a sharp eye.

Don't I need to pick that up? I knew it because I've strangled like three old ladies in my life. And that's not what they look like when they're dead. Their eyes are wide open. What are you doing? Don't set that thing off. Shut your big fat mouth. Ryan, nothing?

Just fucking dead inside? Ryan's so jaded. They've seen it all. They've been entertained out. We're going to watch that together, all three of us, in our pajamas. That'll be your next punishment. All eight seasons, two nights, a six-season.

You will love it. Anyways, the poor lady, though, I would like to help her out. Amid temperatures that dipped into the low 30s Saturday and Sunday, Anthony said it would become a struggle for her to bathe or use the bathroom because she doesn't want to get underneath her

covers. The city building department on Sunday confirmed that the previous owner had requested emergency work to install an outdoor boiler, and then the building got sold and they took the boiler out. How is this even legal? They ought to send Pauly over there and straighten him out. Listen, you cocksucker.

My ma's freezing her balls off. What the fuck's wrong with you? Not for nothing. She's leaving 10 large on the ground. Anyways, here's another funny scene. This is Pauly Walmuth talking about Minnie Matron earlier.

I don't blame your mother. I blame that Minnie Matrone. She's a malignant cunt. You know how many times I've used that phrase in comedy club? Talking about Hillary? Can we, not now, but we have to have that as a sound drop? And that's right, malignant cunt. Is that not the best definition of somebody who lives in Chappaquahoo?

I don't blame your mother. I blame that mini-matron. She's a malignant cunt. I don't want the rest of it. I just want the malignant. Don't do it now. You don't do it on air. Thank you, fellas. Appreciate it.

833-599-NICK is the phone number. So somebody send her a sandwich. I think I gave out a home address to poor thing. Walnuts is heading over there now. I was going to say, someone's going to go over and smother her with a pillow we're all dead now most of them Tony's gone

I mean they were gunned down Silvio was gunned down here you go more proof that they have lost their minds Liberal California blames wildfires on who? I don't say an illegal who threw a match which sometimes it happens

not a campfire person who left the fire going President Trump was partly responsible for the California fires because he denies climate change gee you wouldn't have to connect too many dots there would you? at least that's what liberal California would have us believe. The latest alarmist to make political capital of the fires is California Governor Jerry Brown, who's fucking literally insane. Literally.

And I'm saying literally insane. I'm using it right now like the Kardashians do. I saw a Kardashian's mother. I forget her name, but she said I literally dropped dead. And I was thinking, God, I would like to be there to prove the difference to her. What? Just shoot her in the chest like nine times and go to her daughter. See, that's literally dead. I've had that fantasy for years.

But Kim's not returning my text messages. That big-titted bitch. Brown called Californians' recent battles with massive wildfires the new abnormal. Yeah, you're the old abnormal, you cheese-eating dick fuckstein. Scientists and the engineers and the firefighters all tell us forest management is one element to control them but warned governments must address a whole range of actions managing all the forests everywhere we can does not stop climate change

and those that deny that are definitely contributing to the tragedy the chickens are coming home to roost I hate this guy so god damn much stop governor moon bean that's his nickname has been mightily irked by President's claim that the fires

are mainly down to the negligence and incompetence of the state's authorities. It is highly unlikely that the fires have anything to do whatsoever with climate change. This is the guy who wrote the article. It's much more likely that they are at least partly the result of the green religion championed by Moonbeam

and most of Hollywood. Now, this is an expert talking, not me. As an experienced forester, Bob Zybeck said earlier this year, many of the wildfires which have ravaged the Western U.S. are a consequence of misguided, eco-friendly policies introduced in the Clinton era. And you're going to go, oh, you're just pointing fingers back at the, well, he's going to back it up with fucking some facts. Sideback said a change in forest management policies is the main reason Americans are

seeing a return to more intense fires. We knew exactly, he said, what would happen if we just walked away. In other words, they stopped logging and stuff and you can't kill the old trees. He's an experienced forester with a Ph.D. in environmental science. Then the Clinton administration in 1994 introduced its plan to protect old growth trees and spotted owls by strictly limiting logging. Less logging also meant government foresters weren't doing as much active management of forests, thinnings, prescribed burns, and other activities to reduce wildfire risk.

But you would be a fool and a right-winger and a bigot and a fucking moron and a cave dweller to believe otherwise. There is no evidence that the climate in California has changed in such a way as to make forest fires more likely. According to the fifth and most recent assessment report from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, rainfall is expected to change little as a result of climate change. More likely, the answer is that these fires are simply a case of the California environment doing what it has always done. It's just unfortunate that now more people are living in the areas that suffer when things go wrong. And then they give numbers to back that up.

I hate to do this too, but somebody get these to Moonbeam when he's done smoking that fucking black hash. Wildfire experts also have increasingly been pointing to the fact that more people and infrastructure are located in wildfire

prone areas than in the past. A recent study found the numbers of homes at and infrastructure are located in wildfire prone areas than in the past a recent study found the numbers of homes at risk of wildfires in the western u.s increased 1 000 since 1940 from about 607 000 in 1940 to 6.7 million since most fires are ignited by humans the more people in fire prone areas the higher risk. Let's call logic reasoning and not just that. You guys don't believe in this, so your other reason is burning. Yes, Ryan, my friend. Oh, I thought you were going to say this. What are you pointing to?

Are you hallucinating? Did you do mushrooms before the show? Oh, yeah, this is great. You're a purple elephant right now. Purple elephant. Is that a joke about my shirt and my white problem? Put the camera on you guys again.

You know, you guys look like a high school audio video team doing a hockey game. You're the play-by-play guy. And there's the transgender person doing color. I was a center cam at my college. A what? I was center cam.

Center cam? For college basketball. You were working the camera, you mean? Yeah, yeah. Guys or girls? Both. Ooh, that makes sense. I love Ryan. I go both ways. place i know you though good for you kid kid is not picky he does not discriminate finally tonight i'll meet the press

again the bottom line the wildfires i mean there's a combination as many variables and stuff but to blame president trump do you think you've lost your minds over this guy do you think he's driven you fucking nuts, Jerry Brown? I just read to you the real reasons why, you know. And I'll tell you another reason I didn't mention. God is striking back at California. What? Another

sanctuary city caught on fire? Geez, I hope nobody gets hurt. I wonder if they'll talk to the cops now, the people hiding in those cities. When your sister's fucking hairnet is on fire or a weave. You think you'll come out of the shadows, huh? When your kitchen's 1,100 degrees Fahrenheit, you might want to step out and go, you know what? I'm here illegally. They'll put me out.

I need agua. Gracias. I don't want anybody to get hurt well again why not Hollywood proper it's burning Malibu it's burning all these places you drive right through the shit it's pretty scary but why not

why can't it catch on to like fucking NBC Universal out there and you know the people that pump out the fucking dog shit movies and Sony and you know all the left that pump out the fucking dog shit movies and Sony and, you know, all the lefties. Get them while they're in their offices. Don't burn them to death.

Put the fucking fear of God in them, though. I'll tell you who. I'll tell you who to blame the forest fires on. Minnie Matron. It's a malignant cunt. You have any coffee? I'll bring you them out of Pal's cabin. What are you doing in my house?

I know you. Finally tonight, I refrigerated Perry's daughter's back in the news. No. Oh, God. Michael Baker, who used to be my web guy, still is uh, when I need stuff and he's a smart dude, he's got a nice family and, uh, he's, uh, he sends me to some of the funniest shit. I don't know where he finds it online. And again, this cracked me up until I almost started crying.

What's on Facebook? Deandre Darillion. I don't know. And I watch some of the things that I go, is this staged or not? But no. What's Jason weighing on this? You guys are better at that. This isn't staged, right? I don't think so. He looks genuinely upset.

And he's gay. Definitely. This kid's gay. Again, not that it matters. It makes it funnier. And the white kid, this is when I started to question the authenticity. The white kid that comes out is really gay.

And, but here's why I'm so cynical. The guy that is sort of teasing this kid and bullying him is like the only straight voice in the thing. So I'm like, is this propaganda? But it's not. When he does what he does to this guy, I'm like, oh no, this kid's not

acting. He's in a fucking rage. Watch this. Yo, McDonald's again, bro? Bro, leave me alone come on now why do you keep doing dumb i'm trying to tell you bro you gotta eat better bro yo you gotta eat bro You always think I'm in a joke. I swear to God, bro. Stop playing. I'm going to get you a salad, bro. I'm going to get you a season salad. No dressing. You want some chicken on it?

I got you. Bro, I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. Get out of my face. Get out of my face.

Bro. My phone. My phone. Bro, get out of my face. Bro, my phone. Yo. Get the hell out of my face. Get the hell. I get you. Stop playing with me. There's something wrong with the black man. There's something wrong with the black man's mind there's something wrong with his mind

oh my god i thought it was an instructional tackling film that they show in arkansas that ryan you can weigh in because you swing both ways uh two of those people were gay right right the black kid's definitely gay at least the green guy at least the green shirted white guy well for sure i mean he could have come down in a fucking skirt and a blouse i would have i mean it could The black kid's definitely gay. At least the green guy. At least the green-shirted white guy. Well, for sure. I mean, he could have come down in a fucking skirt and a blouse. I would have. I mean, it could be that the black guy is a super virgin guy. No girlfriend.

No. No, absolutely not. We're going to, again, write his name down. We're going to find him. We'll have him on the show. We'll find out. I'm calling, if possible. I'm saying the white boy was his boyfriend.

But he came down, it almost, again, because I've acted, you know, I'm like the white boy was his boyfriend, but he came down it almost again because I've acted you know I'm like the narrowly and because the white kid sort of came down at the right time It was almost looked like it was cute to me. I don't care if it is my point I don't care if it's staged or not. I never enjoyed anything more I could watch three hours of this kid in a rage and If you can't find porn around the house, I mean, the titties on them. Looks like a young Esther Roll. The mama on good times.

Fucking loser. That's all I got today, folks. I am tapped the hell out. I almost missed the show. I passed out upstairs in my room. I can never nap because I have three coffees. I didn't do that this morning. I went upstairs about 4.30. Next thing I

look up, it's 10.06. The twanks are down here writing a song that's never going to be heard. Anyways. Veterans, again, thank you so much, including all the men and women that police the world. We have to. We're still the best country

on the face of the earth, regardless of the Colin Kaepernicks of the fucking world. And because of them, they put their necks on the line. That's all I got. I'll see you Patreon members tomorrow. Remember,

we stream live. You know we stream live here. We'll do it live. Monday and Wednesday on Facebook and Patreon. Do it live! I'll write it and we'll do it live! Where do we stream? Facebook live.

Facebook live. Mondays and Wednesdays for free. And then YouTube for... No, Ryan, you're fucking that up. You're fucking that up too YouTube and Facebook live and on Patreon and NickDip.com and on Patreon and NickDip.com but I'm talking about just today

all of them all of them today you'd think I'd know that it's my show it's been about 9 months tomorrow's everything but Facebook Ryan's like that's what I was saying Nick what are you fucking doing I gotta stop this coke I'll tell ya Tomorrow's everything but Facebook. Ryan's like, that's what I was saying, Nick. What are you fucking doing? I gotta stop this coke, I'll tell ya.

Alright, that is it. Remember, you guys think it, I will say it. You're welcome. And, uh, see you tomorrow. Here's a little, uh, viddle for you. Ode to the Queen Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok We'll see you next time.