The Nick DiPaolo Show - The Benefits of Being Biden's Brother | Nick Di Paolo Show #288

Episode Date: January 22, 2020

Asian Ham Hung From Bungee. Father tackles son's opponent. Drunk Florida woman passes out in street with baby.   MONDAY - THURSDAY 9PM EST   #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir  

🎵 Hello, everybody. Welcome to the show on a Tuesday. Don't forget this weekend, ladies and gentlemen, Yonkers Comedy Club, Thursday night, Friday night, the Ridgefield Playhouse, Ridgefield, Connecticut, then Saturday night, the Larkham Theater, Beverly, Massachusetts. All right, so if you're in the area, check it out. Go to NickAtDip.com for all your ticket information.

I am like God, and God like me. I am as large as God, he is as small as I. He can't out above me, but I beneath him be. Salacious, 17th century. What am I doing? I have no idea, folks. How are you? Good to see you. What's going on in the world? All kinds of the impeachment shit starts to stay officially in the Senate, and I'm not going to get into that, because you people, you know, comedy audiences, even the people that love you, have very low tolerance for meaningful comedy. Anyways, what?

It's too dry and shit. But we talked about the gun rally yesterday, remember? Remember how the left built it up on MSNBC and CNN? How all these gun-toting fucking right-wing alt- right militias in the Klan was going to show up and fucking Jed Clampett and his family going to have their guns and not a goddamn peep on it. And 22,000 people, they didn't even leave any trash on the ground. There's the difference between us and the scum of the fucking Antifa crowd. OK, not a peep. 22,000 people. You know why? between us and the scum of the fucking Antifa crowd. Okay, not a peep, 22,000 people.

You know why? Because the people who responsibly own guns, which is 98%, 99.9% of them, they're law-abiding citizens and they're better people. You think you're better than me? No, I don't think I'm better than you. I'm stuck on Cape Fair now. Check that one out, Raz hasn't seen it yet.

And the guy's from North Carolina, but crazy. The movie's set right in his backyard. Anyways, yeah, the pro-gun rally. As you know, Virginia was taken over by, it's blue now. It's a blue state. Can you imagine Virginia, a blue state? I just, it doesn't sound right. But the pro-gun rally, 22,000, ends peacefully.

So all CNN, all your horse shit, MSNBC, right down on the toilet. The size of the crowd and the expected participation of white supremacist and fringe militia groups raise fears that the state could see a repeat of the violence that exploded in 2017 at Charlottesville. They keep saying that too, but that's because Soros sent his boys in there. But the rally concluded uneventfully around noon and the good mood was largely festive. Rally goes chanting USA. Oh my God, huh? What a bunch of jingoistic assholes. Just blind faith in Trump. They shop at Walmart. They smell like shit.

They carry guns. All the same shit. Waving signs, denouncing Ralph Northam, Captain Blackface. Imagine he's still in office, that motherfucker. That just shows you Dems are two-faced. Blackface, huh? Oh, yeah, if he was Republican, I'm sure he'd still have a job. Many protesters chose not to enter the designated rally zone

where Northam had imposed a temporary weapons ban. Instead, packed surrounding streets. Many dressed in tactical gear. I think we have pictures up there, Raz. Look at the... This is a... Like Raz said, of course it's a peaceful rally.

Everybody's fucking armed to the teeth. That's America right there. Who the fuck is that? Looks like Hulk Hogan. Anybody gonna fucking mess with them? And you know what? Militia and Antifa were like, no, we're not gonna. It shows they have zero balls. Yeah, throw a punch around by these guys. See what happens. And that's the

point of it. Because Virginia is trying to pass these red flag laws and you know all this shit. They're to again slippery slope universal background checks blah blah blah all that stuff to you know pick away at the second amendment anyways uh an estimated 22 000 people attended uh one woman was arrested on felony charge of wearing a mask in public hopefully it was kathy griffin the protesters came out despite the frigid temperatures of course they did they're hunters the fuck you don't hunt duck in fucking july you're these guys laying a blind in the woods fucking when it's 90 below looking for deer deer. The government doesn't run us. We run the government, said Ker Regic,

a 20-year-old private security officer from Northern Virginia who brought a white flag with a picture of a rifle caption, come and take it. It says it all, doesn't it? Northam was a particular focus of the protesters. They don't like this guy. One protester showed his face superimposed

on Adolf Hitler's body. Democratic lawmakers said the rally wouldn't impact their plans to pass gun control measures, including, by the way, these scumbags have passed all these laws. You know they're surrounded by security, right? 24-7 in and out of the Capitol. Fucking hypocrites, each and every one, including the universal background checks and a one handgun purchase a month limit. That's going to affect Jay-Z and little cheesy, I don't know, fucking white guy trying to come up with some hip hop guns.

Young Jeezy, fucking junior Jeezy. I told you I came up with the best hip hop name ever for hip hop Jihad it's fucking genius just like my title for a heavy metal band, Crib Death where's that been

Democrats say tightening Virginia's gun laws will make communities safer and help prevent mass shootings, no it won't we've been through this a thousand times, you fucking morons. Like the one last year in Virginia Beach. I was prepared to see a whole lot more people show up than they actually did. And I think it's an indication that a lot of this rhetoric is bluster, quite frankly, said Dell delegate Chris Hurst, a gun control advocate, whose TV journalist girlfriend was killed on an on-air shooting. That was horrible, but you need to shut the fuck up. If somebody was there,

excuse me, and I don't make, do you remember that, the shooting on camera? If somebody, a good guy, was there with a gun, that guy would have been stopped in his tracks. Maybe, Somebody, a good guy, was there with a gun? That guy would have been stopped in his tracks. Maybe. It might have been too late, but anyways. Some of the protesters waved flags with messages of support for Trump. Of course, Trump tweeted, the Democrat Party and the great Commonwealth of Virginia are working hard to take away your second amendment.

Everybody at the rally is like, yeah, I know. That's why we're here. Tell us something we don't know, Don. This is just the beginning. Don't let it happen. Vote Republican in 2020, he says. I am your voice. The Virginia State Police, the Virginia Capitol Police and the Richmond Police had a heavy presence that might have kept the riffraff away with offices deploying on rooftops patrolling in cars and bicycles imagine that they're watching through scopes and people are like eating sandwiches peacefully shaking hands on monday oh the southern poverty law center google them because they are actually

a hate group now this is this you know this is the ultra liberal group that labels anybody they disagree with politically as a hate group denn Dennis Prager, guy's a religious conservative, you know, and they were trying to label him a hater. Anyway, staff members attended the rally and identified members of extremist militia groups, including the Oath Keepers. I think Raz belonged to them. And the 3%—no, that's Raz, 3%.

No, black people are 1%. Three-fifths. Is it—not three-fifths, no. Three-fifths. and the 3%, no, that's Raz, 3%. No, black people are one percenters. Three-fifths. Is it? Not three-fifths, no. Three-fifths. You guys can't do fractions. But there's something called the one percent.

Remember back in Jay-Z, where's that thing? It's the Illuminati. Yeah. It's tied into that. I don't like percentages, unless I'm figuring out what I'm making at the door this weekend anyways the league of the south which i belong to i was a pitcher uh which which the senate designated as a hate group advocates for southern secession why would that bother you if those people wanted to secede from the union you lefties who hate them so much wouldn't that be uh make you happy anyways the bottom line

is none of the shit went down that they said was gonna get on okay and uh there was an msnbc reporter there and uh you gotta watch the guy that comes up behind him to heckle him this guy reminds me of there was a guy, Walter Brennan on a show back in the Raz's way too young. He was in John Wayne movies. He was, yo, boy, I tell you, the way them horses rest around, I think the storms are brewing.

This is who this guy is. A live shot. There you go. I'm going to send it back to you. Gabe Gutierrez live for us there. Thank you go. For several days. So, I'm sending it back to you. Gabe Gutierrez, live for us there. Thank you, Gabe. Appreciate it.

Lying pieces of shit. Fuck you. How can't you like that guy? They should put him in the debates. He'll be the right wing Bernie Sanders. Ah,

fuck you. I wrote the bill, you cocksucker. Boy, I tell you, I wouldn't want to mess with him. You see the shy, shy guy? Boy. Didn't that feel good having somebody say fuck you right to MSNBC's face? Got to give Rachel Maddow credit, though, for that interview she did when she dug out all that information about Lev Parnas,

the guy who, you know, he was an associate of Giuliani. I saw him on TV last night saying he was actually the godfather of Lev Parnas' kids and shit. That's how close they were. And now he's on TV spewing all this shit because he's got campaign finance charges coming against him. So now he's singing like a bird trying to rat out Giuliani. Well, I mean, you make the call. I don't know what the truth is. But Giuliani's like, I'll take the oath anywhere. He's so confident, this guy. Those Italians are good liars. I got to meet Giuliani, St. Patrick's Day.

This was probably 15 years ago. Colin Quinn went to Gracie Mansion in New York whenever he was, 20 years ago, I don't know, when was a mayor and get a picture taken with him. And, you know, the funny thing is never saw the picture because they probably went, who the fuck is this guy? This guy could be a drug king came from the Bronx. Can't just take a picture with a nobody. Never saw the picture. And I love him. Then I saw him at the airport a couple of years ago. He's like right where you are, by himself walking to the gate. I didn't have the balls to go up and shake his hand.

I personally like him. He didn't talk to Al Sharpton for eight years. I spoke with fucking Sharpton more than Giuliani did. I actually had breakfast with him on a Comedy Central thing that never made the air. Funniest thing ever. This is the pal of the, where'd you learn your politics?

Boston. He goes, oh. Anyhow, let's get on with it. Anyway, so strike one up for the good guys. Some lady was giving me shit. I usually don't read a lot of the comments, but she's like, I'm so something about you're sad to see you're so uninformed it was about the gun thing i think she looked at the title of the show which i knew was going to confuse people

because it sounded like i was anti-gun i just came up i said virginia is for lovers of god which sounds like something maybe a lefty would say. But I'm saying she's lazy and didn't watch the show. I'm on your side, lady, for the love of Christ. Do your due diligence. Let's stay in the South. Florida, my favorite state. Is there any normal people left in Florida? Seriously, who the fuck is left in Florida?

Rubio, I think Carrot Top has a condo down there. And my buddy, the cop of 30 years, he's got a place still. is left in Florida. Rubio, I think Carrot Top has a condo down there. And my buddy, the cop of 30 years, he's going to play still. Who the fuck else? Well, Trump at Mar-a-Lago, so all the people that run his golf courses, they're kind of normal. But there's a whole website

you guys know dedicated to stories that come out of Florida. Patton Oswalt, who's a lefty bitch, who I don't like, but he has a great bit on Florida. You might want to fucking Google that, what a horrendous state it is. And anyways, what happened in Florida? Well, in Clearwater, which is one of the nicer towns, a woman passed out with a blood alcohol level of 0.338. That sounds like a high caliber rifle.

While walking an infant in a stroller on a public sidewalk on a Saturday afternoon. That drunken stupid is no way to go through life. Look at her and those devil blue eyes. First of all, she looks like an aging manager in baseball poor ladies i feel you when you start losing your testosterone you really become a lot like us i don't want to fuck paul moment no matter how drunk she is look look at her fucking pupils. Violation? My God.

Emergency crew responded to Bay Esplanade around quarter to three after Stephanie Saladino, she's Italian, a married one, was found passed out on a public sidewalk next to a stroller with an 11-month-old child sleeping in it. Okay? What if there was a sex offender? And by the way, sex offenders, go on that website and put your zip code in. There's some living in your attic, according to that. Can you imagine an 11-month-old baby? Somebody could have just picked up the baby

and taken it off. Saladino and the baby were transported to a local hospital. Nurses told police Saladino had a blood alcohol level of 0.3384 times over the legal driving limit. Luckily, she was walking. According to her arrest report, Saladino told police she drank wine before taking the child on a, what did you drink, half of Italy? Fucking wine. Come on on i can just tell by her look she had five alabama slammers three long island iced teas and a couple shots of wild turkey then she went home and sat on the dildo she whittled out of fucking oakwood what the fuck kind of talk is that uh before taking the child work she ultimately passed out on the sidewalk. So she's kind of gross.

Could I be happier? Yeah. Yeah. Who couldn't? The child is currently in custody of the child protection investigator for the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office. I would think so. If I hear one more story about parents, there's got to be five clips online or more of people on heroin with a baby in the backseat in the car seat while they're passing out in a parking lot in Ohio and such shit. We're falling apart at the seams.

That poor kid. Now, what happens after she sobers up? She gets the baby back eventually. But I'm guessing, I'm sure there's plenty of laws going, you know, she had a bad day. Anyways, look for that 11th month old baby in about 16 years, restripping at the gold club in Atlanta. Probably has, am I supposed to believe she didn't drink while she was carrying the baby? Alcohol fetal syndrome. I've had that. My mother used to breastfeed me. She put salt around the rim of her nipple,

squirt a lime on it. The fuck is going on here? Oh, what a mess. What a mess. Somebody who would like to win in Florida if he becomes a nominee is Joey Biden. The Biden family back in the news again. This headline made my dick hard. Joe Biden's brother, Frank, Frank Biden. Sounds like a fallback of the 49ers. Listen to this. Linked to projects receiving $54 million

in taxpayer loans from the Obama administration, despite no experience. Boy, does that sound familiar? I know a thing or two about a thing or two. Yeah, man. Give me the fucking money. You hear me? You hear me? I got to come here and bust my body. Give me the fucking money. Peter Schweitzer, have you read? He wrote a book on the Clintons that was tremendous. I read the front and back cover. I don't have time for that shit. I was doing a word scramble the extensive overlap in frank biden's

dealings in obama biden foreign policy in central america is exposed in peter schweiss's new book profiles and corruption abuse of power by america's progressive elite frank biden first set his sights on the region uh this is in south america i believe uh where the hell was it? Yeah. In 2009, as the Obama administration began to repair the U.S. relationship with Costa Rica, when President Barack Obama entered the White House, he set out to mend fences in the region in hopes of inaugurating a new era of global cooperation. Leading the charge in that front was who? Fucking Joey Biden, who had longstanding ties to the region from his tenure leading the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. He's as dirty as anybody, Biden. He's so retarded, he doesn't know it. Shortly after the new administration took office, Frank Biden began

scouting real estate opportunities in Costa Rica. Despite the professional and personal handicaps, he had no experience. Business opportunities were plentiful for Frank, especially after his brother paid a visit to the country. Just months after VP Biden visited in August, Costa Rica News announced a new multilateral partnership to reform, listen to this, to reform real estate in Latin America between Frank Biden, a developer named Craig Williamson, and the Guanacase Country Club, a newly planned resort. Biden was going to build golf courses and the venture officially sold to investors and the public as an opportunity to protect Costa Rica's breathtaking beauty.

Amounted to little more than decimating the country's natural wilderness to build a luxurious resort for wealthy foreigners. That's what they do, the Bidens. What are we doing? What's going on right now? We're making money in Latin America, bitch. In real terms, Frank's dream was to build in the jungles of Costa Rica thousands of homes, world-class golf courses, casinos, and anti-aging centers.

That explains the plugs in Joe's head. The Costa Rican government was eager to cooperate with the vice president's brother. This is a little bit, I'm sorry, it's one of these stories, it's a little in-depth. Be patient. I'll get to the dick jokes in eight fucking seconds. In order to execute a project of such scale, however, Costa Rica would need to update and expand its electrical grid located on the Central American isthmus. More than 51 percent of the country's landscape is forested, with nearly half of that being land that has not been disturbed by human activity. As such, much of the areas suitable for the type of resort Frank Biden wanted to build lacked access to electricity. So what did

Frank do? Saw another opportunity, thanks to his brother Joe Biden's name, entered into a partnership with the Costa Rican National Power and Light Company to build... God, I wish I had the criminal mind. I can't even... I have trouble balancing a checkbook. These fucking people are ripping off countries.

Raz, how do they do this shit? These evil white guys. I tell you. To build the solar power complex in a country's northwest, the new facility would provide enough electricity to Frank's resort, which was to be built in the vicinity. 54 mil in taxpayers. Frank, who didn't have a background in solar energy, but it was quite clear he was what he pitched the project to his investors. His brother Joe's name figured prominently in his biography, of course. Anyways, they entered a thing. I'm not going to read the rest of this shit.

Got into a deal with a solar company, bop, bop, bop. Earmarked $6.5 million for that project. Intol, $ 54 million taxpayer funds and he's soaking in it and joe biden has the balls to fucking sit there and judge trump and go you know he was gonna hold back aid unless you know people looked into me and my son you're as filthy as any of them you're all filthy i'm starting i believe trump is the cleanest one yeah he might have ripped off a few general contractors while he was building bill but he wasn't fucking fleecing companies in latin america give him time

what are we doing what's going on right now i'll tell you what you're doing joe you're sitting in 11th place out of four people. Actually, you're not. That's what's fucking hilarious. People still see him as a viable candidate. And Raz's people, the black people, love Joe Biden because he had

Obama's back. Now I see why Obama, on that clip we showed a few months ago, Obama goes, Joe, you don't have to do this when he said he was going to run. Obama knows he's a fucking nitwit. I can hear Obama laying in bed with Michelle going, what the fuck is he thinking? This guy couldn't find an umbrella on a rainy day. He's going to fucking run the country?

I don't think he's suitable for it. Maybe one of the dumbest white guys I've ever met. Yes, but he had your back when you had the health care thing. Remember, Biden, it's a big fucking deal. He swears into the mic. He's a real street guy. Suck a bag of cheese. Here's a guy that Biden might hang out with.

His name is Sexy Vegan. And I'm not kidding you. We covered this guy a few months ago. A California man named Sexy Vegan entered a no contest plea in a case where he was accused of sexually assaulting his dog. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And accused of sexually assaulting and posting the video of abusing the dog on social media. And then he appeared in America's Got Talent. Why? Why wouldn't you just shoot him in the head when you met him the first time? Look at this piece of this is West Hollywood, by the way. I lived there for a year or two.

And this is basically West, he's the straightest guy in West Hollywood. This is a grown man. And here's when I look at this shit and I go, I don't know, fucking ISIS might have a point. We're really, I kid. Is his shirt on backwards? His shirt's on backwards because he's a real contrarian. Look at my blue eyebrows that I draw after I suck cock for 20 minutes on Sunset Boulevard. And look at my purple hair. What a piece of cheese.

Vegan whose name previously was Hansel. Well, oh, my God. His parents. vegan whose name previously was hansel well oh my god his parents it's there for hansel marion de bartolo the third de bartolo on the 49ers he's like a gag stabber de bartolo i heard mr de bartolo not saying nothing he owns every mall in like fucking california uh i don't know if he's related but i think he would have been taken out and shot by one of the DeBartolos if they're related. He was busted for posting a video that showed, brace yourself, a pit bull licking his rear end. Mmm. Delicious.

Thank you. Thank you. Put more peanut butter on my asshole licking his ass on september 5th can you imagine 37 year old west hollywood been entered the no contest played to uh one misdemeanor count of disturbing the peace and was sentenced to two years probation 100 hours community, and 52 weeks sexual offender program. What's missing there? How about jail time? He fucked his dog.

He fucked the dog. Sarah McLaughlin, she must have tied a noose when she heard this story. Fuck the dog. What the fuck? You don't get jail time? And the last dog I picked to lick my asshole is a pit bull. Right? Fucking mistakes your ball bag for kibbles and bits. Next thing you know, you're singing in the choir. Changes his name to Vegan.

What a fucking... Why don't you name yourself Comstain? Hey, speaking of Comstain, Jimmy Edmonds, you guys remember him? One hell of a center fielder, probably Hall of Famer, I'm guessing. I don't know. But he was an unbelievable baseball player. So naturally, he has smoking hot broads all the time, right? He got married to a smoking hot one.

But she really is dumber than a bag of hammers, I'll tell you, after you hear some of this. Jim Edmonds responds to megan king edmonds uh threesome and affair allegations is uh is what it says she's on tv whining to tmz and everything that uh he had an affair with uh supposedly a friend i'm gonna read you the article you won't believe it. There's no crying in baseball. Jeanette Edmonds is speaking out about recent allegations made by his estranged wife, Megan, the former MLB player and the former Real Housewives of Orange County star. That's all you need to know about her.

Who share three children together, have been going through a very messy breakup. Now in a new podcast episode, Megan has accused Jim of having an affair with someone who she thought was her friend. Keep that in mind. She thought this woman was a friend. Keep that in mind because it ties into the rest of the story. A woman who Megan claims they had a threesome with. Excuse me. It happens when I get nervous about these things. In the latest Intimate Knowledge podcast episode on Monday, Megan said she's going through a tumultuous time in my personal life. She went on to share, she said, I found out yesterday my ex is allegedly having an affair and seeing somebody right now is what she's saying. And hot dogs, get your hot dogs here.

Yeah. Can I ask you a question? Is it still an affair if he's your ex? Just a question. Unless she's using the term ex and they're still legally married. I don't I don't I don't think so. But my ex is allegedly having an affair seeing somebody. Megan went on to discuss the early days of her marriage to Jim.

Listen to this. I knew Jim had this bad boy kind of past. And we were newlyweds, underlined newlyweds, and trying to have fun. He wanted to have a threesome. And I thought about it. I thought, okay, maybe, sure. So we decided to have a threesome, a consensual adult decision with a friend of mine

who I was very, very comfortable with. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. So they were newlyweds when they had this threesome. Okay. So over the next few years, Megan explained she became skeptical of this woman in her relationship with Jim, whose name was bleeped out of the podcast episode. Later on in the episode, Megan said that Jim went to Cabo amid their son. They have a son named Hart.

Hart's treatment therapy. The poor kid has irreversible brain damage um so I found out he went to Cabo for a birthday party well I'm just doing the thing with our son from my understanding he takes this girl with him the threesome girl to Cabo she went on to call the situation hurtful, is what she said. Oh, boy, you. In response to Megan's claims, Jim tells E! News, I'm tired of the lies for publicity. I filed for divorce over 90 days ago. Megan has filed as well. The marriage is and has been over, according to Jim.

He's a little whore and a little piece of trash. Oh, take to Jim. He's a little whore and a little piece of trash. Oh, take it easy. I was invited to a surprise birthday party this weekend for one of my best friends and decided to bring a date. There's no affair going on here,

Jim says. It's been a plus one for the weekend. The woman and I in Cabo that I was with in Cabo is not her friend. They have not spoken in over three years.

Jim also alleges as far as the threesome goes, there were more than a few initiated by Megan and only Megan. Recently, I have learned that she carried on with a few of these women without me being present. Would that not be considered cheating? Not in 2019, Jim women, uh, carte blanche on what they do. Uh, Would that not be considered cheating? Not in 2019, Jim.

Women carte blanche on what they do. How can she have a podcast talking about intimacy and relationships when she has neither? He really got pissed at her. You fucking whore. Fuck you. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. Oh, Jimmy.

It makes me sick that she is using our child as a crutch for the whole world to see, Jim tells E! News. You see that? They always bring the kid up into it, you know, and to make them sound worse. They were newlyweds. They had a threesome and shit. So did you really think this was going to? You knew he was a bad boy. You had threesomes without him. Now you're on there. You know what? Staying in the limelight. Guarantee she's a West Coast girl. Loving that limelight. Now Raz had a threesome a couple weeks ago. It involved... I don't even know where I'm going with this.

It involved with a guy at Arby's and a cop. Apparently the fries were cold. It's the worst joke I ever made on the show. Coffee's getting to me. We almost done? Yeah? I would need Bluetooth to have a threesome now. Yeah, that's coming.

Did you move it? No. You did too Did you move it? No. You did too. Where is it? It's stuck. Oh my God. Imagine Tommy will fucking shoot me. I put it in here.

Here it is. It's stuck to this one. What is it? Thank you, Raz. You just made up for anything you've done wrong. I don't know anything about it. But Raz is right. This episode of the Nick DiPaolo podcast is brought to you by Blue Chew.

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Didn't we talk about the Chinese yesterday? What did we talk? Oh, that's right. They were having chowing down on dog over there. They have that yummy dog festival. Apparently, they don't have much respect for animals over there. Why do I say that? Well, outrage on the internet, the Chinese internet, which is different from our internet, apparently. It really is. It's state-run and the censorship and all kinds. I'm surprised

they even put this up there. A Chinese theme park has triggered a wave of outrage on social media after it forced a pig to bungee jump off a 68-meter high tower. Let's show the footage, shall we? To the top of the 68-meter at the Mixon Red Wine Town. A pig parked in Chongqing, southwest China on Saturday, reportedly weighing 75 kilograms. It was attached to a slaughterhouse. It was traumatized mental. They put a blue cape on the pig. It's Chinese, some mean little motherfuckers. Put a blue cape on the pig. It's Chinese, some mean little motherfuckers

put a blue cape on it. That is just wrong. It is. Put it in a nice three-piece suit and a top hat. Give it some dignity. And that's its reward? You'd think, you know, even the turkeys on Thanksgiving that go to the White House, they save that turkey. They kill all his friends and family around him, but they say,

they should have him at the theme park. Can you, these Chinese, I love you, I love your food and shit, but is this the secret to getting great pork ribs? You have to dry them out first with a 10-minute bungee jump? Look at it. It's Rosie O'Donnell in a blue cape flying through the air with the greatest of ease.

68 meters. The theme park located in Chongqing. Oh, Chongqing. That's a beautiful part of China. Have you ever been to Chongqing? They're known for their Chongqing cocker spaniel ears. It's an appetizer. They dip in honey and vinegar.

The stunt was held to mark the opening of the new bungee attraction. Can you imagine what they do in a war when they catch you? Local media outlet said the pig was sent to the slaughterhouse afterwards. Stunt caused anger online, reflecting the growing

importance of animal rights among the Chinese population here's my Asian girlfriend I tell you about it The theme park has since put out a statement saying that it accepted the criticism it had received. What does that mean? That's not exactly an apology. We sincerely accept Nathan's criticism and advice and apologize to the public. I'm sure you will.

We will improve our marketing of the tourist site to provide tourists with better services. We'll actually take a tourist from Ching Pang Tang, strap a cape on him, and let him bungee jump. The publicity event, which organized called the Golden Pig Bungee Jump, was held to celebrate the opening of the park. The pig weighed 75 kilograms. It's 165 pounds. That's not a lot for a pig. Not really. Not if you have like three vodka martinis in you. It's a supermodel. Anyways, it says what happened to the pig effort is not shown. Gee, I wonder. I'm sure they gave it a bucket of oats and tapped it on the head and said, nice job, Borgie. Come on.

Chinese people, come on, step it up. They steal our intellectual property. Why don't you steal some of our animal rights? But, you know, what else are you going to think, Renz? Like, people say, you know, they shit all over people for eating dogs and shit. You know, what if it tastes like lobster? What if you take a bite of a Great Dane's ass and it tastes just like lobster? Who will wait a fucking, you know what I'm saying?

But you don't kill like family pets. You can raise the dogs on a farm. Okay, now I'm contradicting myself. But here's the other horrible part about those dog festivals. You know what they do? And I read all this. We covered this like a year ago. They beat the dogs because when you beat a dog, the adrenaline in the dog starts going.

They think that tenderizes the meat. It's crazy. Although when I masturbate, my heart rate goes up and it is tender. Nick, for the love of Christ, you can't be saying that shit. Oh, please. I know a pig. Who's an animal? Your mother's an animal, you son of a bitch. Oh, oh.

Denver Post column is fired after arguing there are two sexes. Oh, we haven't talked about this in about six minutes, huh? Oh, my goodness. I don't need these. These fonts. It's a 21-inch font. I think I can... He's a columnist, and he's fired from the Denver Post, which is becoming a bass in a blue, too. John Caldera, president of the Libertarian Independent Institute, announced that he has been fired from the post, Denver Post, chalking it up to a difference in

style. He's being polite there. That his editors found was too insensitive, they said. You can act like a man. What's the matter with you? I like what he says. He says, my column is not a soft voice, sticky, sweet NPR style piece, which employs the language now mandated by the victim centric identity politics driven media. He said that on Facebook. What seemed to be the last straw for my column was my insistence that there are only two sexes in my frustration that to be inclusive of the transgendered, he says even that word isn't allowed now. We must lose our right to free speech. He couldn't be more right. You are correct, sir. Unbelievable.

Fucking quiz. Caldera criticized an AP directive saying that sex and gender are not binary. There are only two sexes identified by a double X or an XY chromosome. That's the very definition of binary. The AP ruling, it isn't so, doesn't change science. It's a premeditative attempt to change cultural policy. It's activism, he wrote on January 3rd in a column two weeks later. Caldera also rallied against, He wrote on January 3rd in a column two weeks later. Caldera also rallied against railed against the 2019 Colorado law that required elementary school children to be instructed in transgender ideology.

These far left fuckstains are trying to rebuild a society from the ground up, literally starting with the language and and vote for a vote for Liz Warren. She's all for this shit. Bernie. Some parents weren't thrilled a couple of years back, he said, when during school, their little ones in Boulder Valley School District were treated to videos starring a transgender teddy bear teaching the kids how to misuse pronouns or when Colorado's trans community choir sang to kids about a transgender raven. I got to be honest, I'm glad I, you know, I regret sometimes and I haven't, but I read shit like this. Raz, what are you going to do? Your kid comes home with a transgender teddy bear. Yeah, you do. You're going to go down to that school and get that fucking woman, a guy in a headlock. Unbelievable.

of that school and get that fucking woman a guy in a headlock unbelievable so they fired him for saying that there's you know two sexes two genders caldera said he was fired by the paper's editorial page editor megan schrader i wonder what she looks like uh strong safety for the broncos i guarantee 18 inch neck purple hairdo, I don't know that. She could be a nice lady. Yeah, right. She's a malignant cunt. How do you know? You haven't met her.

Megan told me, I was the page's most red columnist, but there's now a permanent, listen to this. This is classic, people giving in. But now she says, there's a permanently and perpetually offended class.

And in order to speak, you need to use their terminology. Says who? You're saying they're perpetually offended. So why are you giving in to them? Unless you're bragging and saying they're right and being offended by everything. They weren't meant for this planet. There's a whole lot of you can't say that ism going on right yeah and he's trying to put a stop to it by pushing back against it so you fire him

so you're advocating on their behalf the pc cancer culture you dummy god damn you listen to this she says i am writing a job description as we speak to fill his position she said i hope that conservative colorado writers will apply knowing that we value conservative voices on our pages and don't have a litmus test for their. What an idiot. Why would you think conservative columnists want that job? Do you hear the arrogance and the pomp? In other words, there's enough conservatives. You know what?

They'll cave in. They'll do what we say they need to. No, no. We've woken up to your horseshit, Megan. Now go home to your life partner, Karen, and flip that house. What? I don't know. I see a lot of gay people flipping houses on TV.

You know, my dad used to yell at me. He was my little league coach. There's a picture. I've actually put it on Instagram when I was a kid. The local paper took a picture of my old man chewing me out after I made a throwing error. I was a third baseman for the Twins. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I could not.

I had a good arm. I had a strong, but I could not fucking hit first base. People wouldn't even sit in the bleaches behind the first base when I was playing third base. I had a cannon, but I could not fucking hit first base. People wouldn't even sit in the bleaches behind first base when I was playing third base. I had a cannon, but I had no idea what was going. I remember hard ground ball. I had plenty of time, even in Little League with a fucking 60 feet away first base. I airmail one fucking 40 feet over our first. Somebody gets a picture of my father when I come in after the inning's over, my father yelling at me.

And I'm sitting there with the same scowl I have today. I'm like, you can see my father, he's got the Elvis sideburns. Chew on my ass out. Why do I, well, he was just trying to, you know, he was right. I was rushing everything. Why do I bring that up? Well, because some dads take sports, but he didn't, there, but he didn't – there was a guy in Little League. I played with this kid, Dominic.

His father was a mean drunk who lived not far from us. Dominic's pitching one day, and he's not doing that well, and his father's cursing him out. Cursing him out. He's like sitting on a cooler of beer, literally cursing. My old man went over and got in his face and told him to shut up. Why do I bring this up? Well, there's a great clip, this wrestling clip. Well, watch this.

This is tremendous. You got knocked the fuck out, man. That guy, we're going to watch it again. Watch the ref. You can't body slam in legitimate wrestling, right? Watch the referee's reaction. Guy could have broken his neck right here. Watch the ref.

Oh, my God. Oh! Oh, my God. I had the article for it. What the fuck? Was I drinking last night? No, I wasn't. The guy, they charged him. I had the mug shot and everything.

But the point being is, you know how I know you're not supposed to do that in legitimate wrestling, I call it? Because when I was in junior high, we had wrestling for a week in gym. I was sick the first two days. So, you know, it's my first time. I'd miss Monday and Tuesday. We had gym almost every day. So I picked the kid up and body slammed him. And I remember my gym teacher yelling at me.

I go, I didn't know. I thought it was like a street fight. And he could have busted that kid's neck, right? So I kind of feel for the old man. You don't want to ever see parents committing violence again, unless the kid's trying to break your son's neck, then maybe. But he got, like, arrested for assault or whatever. How about the pile driver?

Seriously, that guy could have fucking really hurt, no? And the ref should have did more. Yeah, instead of acting like a woman. Oh, my goodness. You see him put his hands on his. Shouldn't he jumped in? Taking points off of shit like in boxing i love when i do that to go around to the judge um maybe he got fired up he saw the conor mcgregor fight the father we'll see him we're gonna see him in a three-piece suit

with gold hanging all over his neck i had a mug shot of him and everything. Anyways, I say that's it for now. Don't forget folks, no show Thursday because I have to get on a plane. A weekend of comedy up in the northeast area. But we will be here as usual

tomorrow and what else did I want to say? Anything, Raz? Cameo.com. Don't forget it. If you want me to send a personal video message, you tell me what to say. I'll send it to one of your friends or family members roasting them, tearing them to shreds verbally, or being very nice to them. Maybe there's a girl that you're trying to pork at the pork store. What kind of talk is that? Pork. We said that in 1978. You trying to pork that chick? That's horrible talk.

But yeah, cameo.com. Click on my profile. Don't forget the Comics Gym, too. That's my manager's new website. It's sort of a landing place for me once this show blows up up and they kick me off for saying funny true honest and um anyways anything else res do you want to go through the dates or do i want to go through the dates go ahead put them up here are the dates please come out folks this is still my bread and butter there you go.

Friday the... You got a... Okay. Yeah, go ahead. Am I supposed to read them? I'm not going to again. I'm sick of it. You know what? Take them down.

Fuck that. Go to nickdip.com. What the fuck is the website for? You got to fucking read them? Unless you're in your car listening to this and that technology hasn't really started yet. Suppose your podcast is going to be in every car, right? Real soon.

I hope so because I'm sick of living in a basement apartment. That's it. You guys think and I will say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you guys back here tomorrow. Have a good rest of your day, everybody. Bye-bye....... ...

... ... ... ... ... ......... guitar solo I'm out.