The Nick DiPaolo Show - The Bidens Busted Again | Nick Di Paolo Show #1492

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about the Biden's busted, Biden craps on vets, Migrants in Malibu and more! Support our sponsor, Factor!  Get 50% off of Factor at https://www.factormeals.com/nickdip50 and use code NICKDIP50 Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 You goddamn guineas really make me laugh. Hi, I'm a guinea. Oh, didn't put the powder on the giant forehead. See that thing shining like a you-know-what's eyeball? Fill in the blank, I don't know. Used to be a real racist thing. I personally didn't like it. Neither did the high school when I put it under my yearbook picture.

A lot of trouble. Sure. Good to be with you on a filthy, fucked up, what is it, Tuesday? Tuesday. Catch me on Crowder tomorrow night as we stream live the GOP last debate. I think you get Fat Buck, Chris Christie. This is why

I know it's all bullshit, folks. I'm sorry. You can believe your vote counts. Chris Christie, fucking Nikki Haley, two people I wouldn't fucking let in my house. Vivek, yes, and DeSantis so

there you go I can't even believe Nikki Haley or the circus elephant got any traction in this fucking thing have we learned nothing

we need somebody to the right of fucking Attila the Hun was he to the right or she I don't know what it was they but yeah so we'll be streaming that live on crowd and drinking you know or she. I don't know what it was. They.

But yeah, so we'll be streaming that live on Crowder and drinking, you know, the finest bourbon or whatever they put out there. We have debate rules. You know how it works. Some of yous don't. If you haven't signed up yet, you really should. I'm so goddamn funny on there. They can't even fucking

keep their wits about them. Last night, real quick, Monday Night Football, Jake Browning. Of course, I take the frigging Jacksonville laying eight and a half because, you know, no Joe Burrow for the Bengals, and they lost their last game, and they looked shitty against the Steelers, and Jacksonville had won about five or six in a row or some shit like that. And Trevor Lawrence was playing like Joe Namath in his prime. And next thing you know, Jake Browning.

Let me real quick. I know you guys don't give a shit. Jake Browning is back. He's the one filling in for Joe Burrow. In high school, I didn't know any of this. In high school, he threw for, I don't even know how this is statistically possible, 229 touchdowns. Let's say he played all four years,

which I'm sure he did, right? Yeah. It's 55 touchdowns or? I mean, with those numbers, you'd have to start as a freshman. Yeah. So he threw 55 touchdowns a year or some shit like that. And listen to this.

His senior year, Troy Aikman was laughing so hard he couldn't believe it. 91 touchdowns he threw for in high school his senior year. You only play 10 or 11 games. That's nine touchdowns a game almost. What were they playing, severely retarded kids from the Cancer Institute? What the? When you have that kind of talent, I don't give a shit at what level. That means you were born to throw a football. I don't give a shit. And sure enough, he played at Washington. I think they were at Powell House when he was at the helm. I think he broke the record for the

Pac-12, most touchdown pass, whatever. I'm just saying it. And that's a backup in the NFL. That's how hard it is. And boy, he played like an all-star last night. Sick numbers, like 28 for 32, 330-something yards. I mean, he was un... I just, I never take it for granted because I played a little bit, you know, high school class. I just fucking, boy, some guys make it look so goddamn easy. Anyway, sorry to boy you gay people. Let's get to it. First headline, Biden's busted again. Well, what in God's name is that?

Biden, that would be Joe, got recurring $1,380 payments from Hunter's firm starting in 2018. That's when he was a VP, wasn't it? No, what am I saying? Trump was a, the fuck am I high? Here's Oversight Committee Chairman. We've heard a lot from this guy, and he is digging deep and doing his, but like me and Dallas say, if it doesn't come to anything, it's just a big show for us, which I'm starting to believe.

But here's James Comer, Republican Kentucky Oversight Committee chairman, blah, blah, blah, talking about what they found recently. Today, the House Oversight Committee is releasing subpoenaed bank records that show Hunter Biden's business entity, a Wasco PC, made direct monthly payments to Joe Biden. This wasn't a payment from Hunter Biden's personal account, but an account for his corporation that received payments from China and other shady corners of the world. At this moment, Hunter Biden is under an investigation by the Department of Justice for using a Wasco PC for tax evasion and other serious crimes. And based on whistleblower testimony, we know the Justice Department

made a concerted effort to prevent investigators from asking questions about Joe Biden. I wonder why. The more we learn, it appears the Justice Department was trying to cover up for the Bidens. The White House did not immediately comment. They didn't. They didn't send out that little black dumb bitch to run out and bat her eyes. This is what she does when she's thinking. Like I said again. Oh, my God.

Fucking terrible. The White House did not immediately comment on the release, but it's possible the funds were meant to repay Joe Biden for car payment. Yet it's possible I have three dicks on my neck. Earlier that year, a January 2019 email from assistant Katie Dodge, for Christ's sake, her name Dodge is right in the goddamn, to Hunter Biden annotated various expenses, To Hunter Biden annotated various expenses, including Ford Raptor reimbursement to JRB, $1,380. Yeah, you couldn't just make that up. The providence of the fund is unclear. knee-deep in titties and coke in two of his most controversial business relationships at the time with Ukraine's Burisma Holdings and CEFC China Energy.

Biden, Hunter Biden. The evidence emerged as House Republicans prepared to question first brother Jim Belushi, I call him, James Biden on Wednesday and Hunter next week about the president's role in his family's dealings in countries such as China and Ukraine. We don't know that. What is Jesus Christ? Get on with it. He's going to die before they do anything with a possible floor vote to authorize the ongoing impeachment inquiry. So they need a floor vote to continue with the investing. Do you see how this is all

horseshit, folks? Please tell me you see that. Nothing to see here. No, I'm telling you you see it. Nothing to see here, please. Car payment. Come the fuck on. And again know unless the guy does the perp walk out of the White House with cuffs on kiss my ass I again it's my best political analogy ever I should sell it to somebody at Fox but the Republicans again they're the Washington generals who travel with the globetrotters feigning competition and resistance it's brilliant how I'm not fucking rich and famous is beyond my mother's ass. What? Anyways.

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slash nickdip50 to get 50% off. And we thank Factor for sponsoring the show today. We do. Hey, Jesus, one cigarette yesterday. My God, I think it causes cancer. In the second half of the show, I will be talking about, you know, the kid who was accused by Deadspin, that black racist writer accused a little white kid of wearing blackface at a Chiefs game? Well, his parents are going to take action. They're demanding an apology and a retraction. They're being reasonable about it,

way more than I would. Or they're going to do something else. I can't wait to see what it is. Also, how close we came to another mass shooting in Vegas by some radicalized Islamic jerk-off. And we came within, you want to listen, it's very interesting. And thanks to Biden,

I'm sure this is the beginning of a lot of stories like that. I hope I am wrong. It's exclusively on Mug Club, so join now to get it at nickdip.comarini. Hey, guys and gals, before I forget,

we're having a big Christmas sale from now until December 10th at the Nick DiPaolo merch shop. All merchandise is 15% off if you use code STNICK, S-T-N-I-C-K. That's S-T-N-I-C-K. We have hoodies, hats, shirts, mugs, signed DVDs, signed plastic hips and knees. signed DVDs, signed plastic hips and knees. So head over to nickdip.com and click on store now so we can get your order to you before Christmas.

And don't forget to use the code STNICK. Talk to you soon. Biden craps on veterans once again. Senator Joni Ernst, Republican, Iowa, is demanding action. She should be in there instead of Nikki Haley. This broad is not a global, at least I don't get the impression. Take the glasses off her, she's almost bangable. Joni Ernst, Republican, Iowa, is demanding action from President Biden regarding border security after military families who booked rooms,

and get this, foxborough massachusetts which is the site of the 124th installment of the army navy game the veterans book hotel rooms receive cancellation notices from hotels that are being used by the state to do what house migrants house migrants no they're ignorant that's ignorant, that's Massachusetts. That's what that is. Migrants. Not illegals, but migrants. Again, yeah, just people telling the feels. Okay? That's Massachusetts. You're disgusting. I'm embarrassed to have...

Well, again, it wasn't like that when I grew up, but it's embarrassing. Their politics are just as gross as San Francisco's. It's clear these cancellations are due to your administration's decision, this is Jody Ernst talking, to ship illegal immigrants across the country to sanctuary cities at taxpayers' expense, Ernst wrote in the letter. Now, due to your untenable border crisis, which has allowed nearly 8 million illegal immigrants

to enter into the country, veterans and future service members and their families will be unable to attend this year's Army-Navy game. Problem? You're the fucking problem. You fucking Dr. White

onking jam rag onking spunk bubble. I'm telling you, H, you keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground. Massachusetts has a right to shelter law.

Of course they do. Which ensures migrants and homeless families will, you know, will cut the line in front of anybody who pays their taxes if I'm here and doing the right thing and serve their country honorably.

You know, nothing important. Migrants and homeless families have somewhere to live. They do. It's called a refrigerator box. I put one out every fucking night. It is flatly unacceptable for our veterans and military families to be displaced because of your administration's failure to secure our southern border.

Military families who have scrimped and saved to be able to afford a trip, and that's true, they don't get paid jack, afford a trip to the Army-Navy game, should not have to compete with illegal immigrants for hotel room space, Ernst wrote, and she used the word illegal, God bless her. Mark Mansbach, the owner of the New Jersey-based Hillsdale Travel, has been servicing military members and their families for 20 years with hotel accommodations and more, especially when it comes to the Army-Navy game. Men's back, whose father was a first lieutenant in the 552nd Field Artillery Battalion, attached to the 442nd Regimental Combat Team. That's why I didn't go to the military. I couldn't find my, I couldn't even find my group. I don't know what any of that means, how it's attached,

what a battalion is. I stopped at the Eagle Scouts. Anyways, the 442nd Regimental Combat Team has a website dedicated to providing military discounts to active duty personnel, retired military, cadets, and families for the game. Mansbach previously told Fox News Digital that 60 combined rooms from various hotels were canceled, something he has never seen in his 20 years of setting up military families for the game, which takes place this year on December 9th. It's a couple of days away at Gillette Stadium,

of course. Take a big step back and literally fuck your own face, Mr. Biden. That was for you. Good for Jody Ernst and good for this guy that's been doing it for veterans for years. Oh, my God. Have you ever? We treat them as, I mean, as bad as you can treat. Thank God you got that tunnels to tower guy doing that. I send money every month. I signed up for the recurring whatever. Happy to do so. I want to up it. Now they're not only building houses. This is ancillary to what we do. It's related. Not only building houses for veterans who are missing legs and limbs and stuff, and they build houses. Now they're building, like, whole apartment complexes for them, you know, and supplying right in the complex psychiatry. I mean, just God's work is what

it is. But some douchebag Asian woman, mayor of Boston, I shouldn't say it, it should be the governor. I don't know who the fuck, Oh, governor's a guy, by the way. Anyways, they would just piss on the veterans. Rather have a family from the Dominican Republic. You know. Nick, why'd he pick them? Okay, fuck Afghanistan. Pick whatever of the 190 countries

that are pouring in right now. It's a fucking disgrace. We need Trump back in office. Fuck you people who vote Democrat and everything you believe in. And I hope your kids have some type of arthritis. The crippling kind. I know that's not going to get out because Democrats

don't watch your show, but they should. You can learn something. Anyways, let's move on to speaking of illegals, migrants or illegals, me and Dallas call them, on Malibu Beach. Why is that funny? Because rich liberals live on Malibu Beach, and these guys are just popping in to say thanks. What kind of people are these, Henry? A boat full of dog shit, I mean suspected illegal immigrants, landed on a beach in Calabonia.

How can you tell? It could be just some people from fucking Laguna Beach. Some Mexicans having a good day. Malibu city limit. They had dinner out there a few times. No, lunches, like business lunches, like meeting about a movie or a script, and boy, that went nowhere.

But they buy the food and shit. I'm sitting right on the beach pretending I'm famous. Cut to me, homeless in New York two years later, living with Louis C.K., giving people the finger out our window. Anyways, they landed on a beach in California near the luxurious homes of several celebrities. I just picture one, you know, old Spanish lady

banging on Barbra Streisand's window. Ni quédate quieta. No come mierda a ser reto, puta. Yo quédese haciendo eso. Eso que te ha venido a ver. Ay, you wep. Funny girls looking out the window. Who is that?

Get those filthy people off my lawn. We got a quick clip, in case you don't believe us, of these guys coming ashore. And I assure you, this is not a scene from Saving Private Luis. Go, Pez. Good. Here they come. They're bringing drugs.

They're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people. Some are good people. Look at this. Look at this. This is America. Can you imagine in Mayorkas that little cocksucking bald fucking homo just sitting there smiling away?

No, our beaches are secure. Incredibly rare to see this so far north, as Malibu is 100 plus miles away from the border. Unclear if anyone caught awaiting a CBP response. Malugin, that's Bill Malugin, the reporter with the hair of a young John Kennedy, also noted that there was a sunken, what is that, a panga? Some type of boat. That's how you know they're not from here.

You're supposed to come in on a Seacraft or a Boston Whaler or, you know what I mean, a fucking Silver Line. That was what we had, you know, with the bow rider or whatever. Or even fucking floating in a giant inner tube that you got at Dick's Sporting Goods. You don't come in on a panga. It's a dance you do at a fucking wedding.

Last week, KABC-TV reported that Homeland Security and U.S. Customs and Border Protection are investigating the sunken 25-foot-long panga boat. How long does it take to investigate 11 people coming over on a popsicle stick boat, you dinks? Authorities said they found life jackets and gas cans and kidney beans and refried dog tits. No one was detained, of course. Are you saying he knows nothing about these guys? That's what Juan said to me. I'm going to find out what Juan said to me.

I hope they land it right in Tim Robbins' yard. Isn't that beautiful Malibu? They picked that. Oh, God. Are you guys watching the left fracture at home? Are you enjoying it? How many rooms do they have they don't even need? They got plenty of room for these guys, you know. That's actually a great point.

If anybody, if anybody could literally put up 40, 50 people without even knowing it, it's these rich assholes. Has any of them? Plus, they have 11 houses. They could fucking land at any shore and find the liberals' mansion. That's such a great point. I don't remember seeing any at Obama's in Martha's Vineyard, that beautiful house. I'm sure there's a few rooms not being used.

Well, a lot of them are used. Michelle lifts weights. She's got a neck machine in every room. Ew. For those of you guys on MugClub, stick around right now for the second half of the show. Everyone else, go to nickdip.com and join to get my full show. Steven Crowder's full show. Again, I'll be on there tomorrow night live.

And a whole lot more. Meaning what? Well, meaning the Hodge twins, Alex Jones on Fridays, Brian Callen. I know he's got a relationship. Oh, the undercover thing. They busted a youth, well, they busted the manifesto story about the trans that showed up to school a few years ago. And they're doing great work on Pornhub and who's advertising on there.

You know, just pedophiles and well-known sex traffickers. You know, they're doing unbelievably good work. So if you're gonna spend money on a show, you want to get your money's worth, that's like the best value. I'm not just saying that because I gave Steven a handjob. guitar solo Outro Music