The Nick DiPaolo Show - The Death of CNN | Nick Di Paolo Show #653

Episode Date: January 13, 2022

Ted has enough. McConnell mad. CNN finished. AZ woman comes after Delta Airlines. Another CA smash-and-grab. Grammy gets high.

In 2022, nearly everything you see and hear is filtered. Social media companies are deleting ideas they disagree with. The mainstream media is reporting only what fits their agenda. And our so-called leaders are using them both to fight personal battles, oftentimes leveraging your livelihood and safety in the process. Just like you, I've had enough, and that's why I created this show. Here you get unfiltered and unapologetic content. I don't care if I hurt your feelings or if I take a position that isn't popular.

I call them like I see them. I'd like to ask you to do two things to keep this show going. First, please share it with two people today. Let's show them what brutal honesty looks and sounds like. And second, please go to nickdip.com and make a contribution so we can keep this show going.

Or even better, subscribe at the Comics Gym or on Patreon today and get an extra encore show each day, discounts on merchandise, and more for being a monthly subscriber. Thank you guys so much for watching, sharing, and contributing to the best show around. You guys make it happen. Thanks so much. Oh yeah, welcome to the show folks. How are you?

Final day of the week. Before I forget, no show on Monday. We'll do a best of or something and put something up but my producer has family obligations in in Texas and Anyways, and not a lot of people it's Martin Luther King Day. So it looked like I agreed everything he said with Anyways, so but we'll put something else up or whatever anyways and i'm going to phoenix but i'll be back sunday and you know have six out i'm actually glad uh i could use it

yeah tommy books these gigs and all of a sudden next thing you know i'm in a three-week run with just like sunday to myself and uh i'm married so I'm not by myself. It's really horrible. No, I'm just kidding. Honey, relax. Cocaine. All right. In the N-word, I just want to talk about Lori Lightfoot and why I have a problem with people who are, well, I shouldn't say that. I mean, this doesn't go for everybody, but don't elect black lesbian to any political office in the United States. Why?

Because nobody has more issues with this country than a black lesbian. Nick, don't paint with a broad, but don't fucking tell me. Lori Lightfoot is the most unhappy, dour person on the earth. She met with a guy

who owns a high-end car dealership. He was a victim of a smashing crab. So they met about that. She storms out of the meeting mad. That's what kind of mayor she is, because he wanted to know what she was going to do about it. About a day or two later, he gets visited by Consumer Affairs, Business Affairs and Consumer Protection Agency of Chicago, cited with six sightings for big things like employees not wearing a mask

and them having alcohol on the premises. That's the level they work at. She's an unhappy person. Nick, what's that got to do with her being a... I'm just saying she doesn't see the world the way 98% of the country sees it. And I don't even think she got elected. I think she got appointed. That's all I'm going to say about that. We'll talk about that and other shit on the show.

Let's do it. Well, we're waiting. Don't rush me. It's the end of the goddamn week. We're waiting. Just days after joining the grift operation Getter, Joe Rogan slammed the platform this week calling it a fugazi. I wonder if he used the actual Italian. And was questioning live on his show about how to leave the platform. As I mentioned earlier this week, this is from a guy that runs Gab. Former CNN contributor Jason Miller's Chinese billionaire-funded Getter is falsely claiming to be a free speech platform and an alternative to big tech,

but nothing could be further from the truth. Getter not only depends on Amazon's AWS for hosting along with Apple and Google app stores for distribution, but the app is also tracking users for Facebook and Google, according to a bombshell report from Talk Liberation Investigates. As I have written in the past, I have no problem with competition. Competition is great and encourages our team to work harder to provide the best product on the market. What I do have a problem with is grifters, hypocrites, and liars. I have a problem with foreign billionaires, it would be Chinese, trying to astroturf Christians and conservatives into a big tech honeypot.

to astroturf Christians and conservatives into a big tech honeypot. I know many good, decent people will be signing up for Getter at the behest of the talking heads they trust on Fox News and elsewhere. I think they deserve to know exactly what they are getting into. Some key findings from the report. Numerous trackers from Facebook, Google, and other third parties are embedded in Getter web and smartphone apps. App permissions facilitate the surveillance of a wide variety of information about Getter users, including fine-grained behavior and location data. This data is then used to profile users and shared with third parties. Get Home, a previous version of Getter app that targeted Chinese language audiences,

is still published in Google Play and effectively provides a backdoor to Getter. Users can log on and interact on Getter network via the Get Home app, bypassing updates on the newer application. Content on Getter, such as news, is loaded directly from external sources, opening connections between Getter users to dozens of domains. This introduces serious privacy and security risks. Some of this content is delivered via unencrypted HTTP, further jeopardizing users. Getter infrastructure is hosted by cloud vendors, as Amazon, AWS, and company email accounts hosted by Google. So, real quick. And here's what they're doing already.

Getter is already banning American First Patriots for no reason. Getter is shadow banning reporters who ask why. Getter is banning certain words they do not like. Getter is using artificial intelligence to they do not like. Getter is using artificial intelligence to ban hate speech just like Facebook and Twitter does. Getter banned a black conservative for using a word they didn't like in his account bio. Another fake in the alternative technology space is Rumble. Rumble positions themselves as free speech youtube alternative conservatives talking heads

from fox news have been pushing it for the past year and earlier this summer president trump joined the platform on the day the president joined the platform rumble updated their terms of service to ban hate speech on the day he signed up anyways i could go on and on. But the point is, they know guys like us, people, Trump fans, like they said, conservatives, you're being duped by atheist Chinese businesses through platforms like this. And Jason Miller on the right, by the way, he actually had worked for Trump at some point. So anyways, I'm glad Rogan reaches about 100 trillion people. That's actually a worthy message. So don't fall for that shit.

I fell for Gab, and I guess Gab's... We heard shit about Gab, you know, having restraints on language. But at least they notified me about this. I'm just trying to get my voice out there, folks. But I'm not on Getter, not because I thought it was bad. I couldn't find it. No, I fucking, whatever. I got to do what I got to do so you guys can fucking hear me, but don't fall for it. If you're the type of people that live on these things for your news, for it if you're the type of people that live on these things for your news.

I don't. I read Bazooka Joe in the morning when I'm on the toilet. Boy, do I laugh. Alright, let's get to the real stories. Ted has had enough. Teddy Cruz got pissed. Let's just show the video and you'll see. It's kind of refreshing. By the way, on the question of hypocrisy, you just asked, you people at the podium are speaking without masks.

Just once, I'd like to see a reporter say to Joe Biden when he stands at the damn podium in the White House without a mask, Mr. President, why aren't you wearing a mask? Just once, I'd like to see you say to Jen Psaki, the White House press secretary, when she stands at the podium with no mask, Ms. Psaki, why don't you have a mask? The questions are only directed at one side, and I've got to say, the American people see the hypocrisy. Thank you all. I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore.

I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore. It really is true. Remember they questioned him about his mask a year ago, when it first broke? And he had a good answer from then. And it really is, they're so ensconced in that bubble in D.C., the journalists and shit, they can't see the forest through the fucking trees or the bush through the shrub or the major labia through the

minor fur. Wear a mask. Why don't you have a mask on when you... That's faggot stuff. You want to call it by its name, that's strictly for fags.

Ted just should have said, If I could, I'd grab this microphone and I'd beat your brains out with it because that's what you deserve. That's what you deserve. Fucking hypocrite. You people. You fucking people.

I love Ross Pro. He's dead now, but he said that verse in front of a black crowd. You people. Oh, man, that was another phrase of a black crowd. Dear people, oh man, that was another phrase we had to ban. What do you mean by you people? He was like, you know what I mean.

Black have been an NBA All-Star game up in this motherfucker. Anyhow, so good for Ted. I think Ted might be trying to make amends for last week's blooper when he referred to the fucking attack on Journey 6. They were terrorists. So he's trying to clean his palate. And he's a smart, smart dude. All right.

But whatever. I want to see a real good. I don't know. There's nobody right enough to put in the White House for me, except for me. Anthony Cormier would be on my ticket. You know what? We'd get a ton of votes. Two angry guineas. We're like the fucking old guys on the Muppets up on the balcony, only we're much younger and funnier. There you go. Hey, Dallas just did an impression.

You know, there's something wrong with this theater. I know what it is. What is it? The seats face the stage. Actually, funny people. All right. Look, I'm looking at papers that I don't even use. Fucking props.

But yeah, good for Ted. People are catching on. People are catching on. Do you believe this? Actually, Dick Durbin quoted Al Sharpton about Biden's divisive speech. And Sharpton called it, what did he call it? Going to hell speech. In other words, if you don't agree with Biden, you're going to hell.

So even Sharpton had a problem with the divisive tone of Biden's speech about the fake voting issue, suppression of a vote. You got Biden in Durban. I think you've lost everybody. It might be him getting elected, I mean, stealing the election, might have been a blessing. By the way, I was on Fox Radio yesterday with Jimmy Fallon, who's great. He's a comic with a great mind, and he's got his own radio show on Fox. And I said, look, this isn't Jimmy's opinion. I don't want to get him in trouble. It's not Fox News opinion.

But the election was stolen. And Jimmy goes, the only reason I don't say that is because I don't have proof. What do you mean? You personally don't have proof? I have plenty of proof. I saw the cardboard on the windows on TV in the polling area. I saw the pollsters who were supposed to watch the people working. I saw them, Republican pollsters, told to be moved back almost like 100 yards.

I saw video of a truck pulling up at 6 a.m. I saw a video of a truck pulling up at 6 a.m. I saw on the Internet tracking the votes. All of a sudden, 6 in the morning, Biden got this spike. Are those baseless claims? But I thought it was pretty good of me to throw a preemptor out there. I didn't want to get him in trouble and shit. I don't know what the rules are. I don't hear him talking about it too much.

I'm fucked. Although Jesse Waters, I got a hand in him. He kind of pushes it there. Any, he must be getting really good numbers. Anyhow, any he, ha ha. Let's stay in D.C. with Ted, this guy. Ted Cruz, I

trust as being a Republican. This fucking thing's gonna, it's not charging. This won't be here by the end of the show, maybe. Mitch McConnell. It's hard to do. I'm not gonna go teak, as you can see, I have a chin. Anyways, top Republican, and to me, one of the biggest reasons we're in the shitter we

are, this two-faced McConnell who can play both sides, He is a killer politician. Bill Clinton's got nothing on this chinless motherfucker. But he plays both sides of the aisle and pretends to be a staunch Republican. Mitch McConnell attacked Joe Biden pushing for a voting rights bill, underscoring the difficulty the Democrats face attempting to steer legislation through the Congress with a narrow majority. Does he look like a fucking leader? Don't women look for a strong jaw in a guy? Look at this fucking guy. He's got a clit under his chin.

The U.S. president has called for his party to jettison the Senate's longstanding filibuster. They want to change the rules in the middle of the game. And Obama stuck his two cents in, linking it filibustered to Jim Crow. Shut the fuck up. You're the reason we have such racial tension. It was actually getting better, there's proof of it, before shithead Obama came along. Even cops will tell you that. Anyways, so Mitch has a problem with him trying to get rid of the filibuster, which requires 60 of the 100 senators to agree to advance most legislation,

a move that McConnell said would irreparably damage the chamber. You are correct, sir. Yeah, yeah, fine, I guess I'm yeah. I mean, it's been 500 years. The president's rant, this is Chinilis talking. The president's rant yesterday was incoherent, incorrect, and beneath his office, which he's right on. McConnell said on the Senate floor on Wednesday, referring to Biden's speech in Atlanta the day before in which he appealed for voting rights legislations and called Republicans cowardly for not supporting it. McConnell accused the president of giving

a deliberately divisive speech. That's all he does. He ran on being a unifier, this cocksucker. They thought Trump divided the country. Are you fucking shitting me? I hope Trump runs again just to prove how stupid you people were four years ago. Deliberately, not you people. You're my fans. You think like me. The one jerk that you're going to make watch is a gunpoint.

Your cousin, Frank. Excuse me. Look at Mitch. That's him getting a blowjob. That's him. No, that's him. That's him happy. That's him.

Look it. That's more effective than the frown emoji. How? Get. You got no chin and no teeth. But you know what? Gotta be one savvy politician to last that fucking

long. But he's a perfect example why we need term limits. Three weeks you get and then you're out. Anyways, a deliberately eviscerate speech that was designed to pull our country further apart. Could it get any further? Fucking more.

Who gives a fuck what you think? Anyways, but it is unbelievable. It was. I watched two minutes of Biden. I can't even stomach it. He really, I got to believe he's out of his mind. When he goes to bed, he probably sleeps like a baby because he didn't remember what he said. But you're a racist, a bigot, basically.

You're worse than Jefferson Davis if you don't fucking agree with this. They can't name one person. These black people, they took polls who want voter ID included. And brown people because it's insulting to them. They're too stupid to get a picture. If you guys can't see, this is the biggest fucking lie on the planet. They want to open up voting to everybody. Whether it be mass mail-ins, no, no, that's part

of the fucking thing they're trying to push through. That voter ID is, is, should be illegal. Think about that. Let that settle in. How the fuck? Joe, I'd like to punch you right in your wrinkled bag. Anyways, I don't know. Need a cigarette. I love doing comedy, folks. Don't get me wrong, but I am one restless motherfucker. How do you like me sitting next to me in a five-hour flight? Last time I flew, I forgot to bring a book. I'm looking at Tupperware on that in-flight magazine.

So that's why you had all that Tupperware when I came over. Exactly. Fucking ordered it when I hit the ground. What a nightmare. I just hate it. It's uncomfortable. It's worse than ever. I'm not telling you guys anything you don't know,

but it really is the only industry that hasn't evolved a cunt hair in 100 years or whatever years we've been flying. The seats are lit. Do you know the – I'm not kidding you, on American Airline, they made it tighter. It's tighter. I'm only five, nine and a half in my knees. I can't imagine being six foot or six three.

Never have a hot broad sit next to me that I can give the stink eye. That did happen. A girl and her boyfriend, I even offered, I said, you want to switch seats? And they said, no, we're good. He sat behind us,

and she was in the middle seat. I was on the aisle seat. About an hour into the flight, it was night, they shut the radio, I think, from Vegas. She's fucking got her head on my shoulder like we've been dating for three years. I got to be honest with you, I kind of liked it. I felt like I was helping somebody out.

Yeah, I was gonna give her a peck on the cheek. If I was some creep from Pakistan, I would have grabbed her tits. That always happens. And I mean, she slept for like three hours, two and a half hours. And then she woke up, she goes, oh my God, I'm sorry. No, you're not. You did it on purpose. You saw that I had a tank top on and I had guns and I have my female body inspector t-shirt. You liked that shit. Anyways, hey, we got a new segment on the show. Did we do it last

week? We didn't even do voicemail. Please tell me, please tell me, or don't tell me, that the show's so small that we didn't get anybody to leave a voicemail. Guys, this is your chance to pipe in. Anyways, voicemail segment. So we got some, one of my fans wanted to ask me a question, and here it is. Hey, Nick, when you got a chance, you're not selling coke to kids. What do you think about the Robert E. Lee statue being melted down and used as a George Floyd monument in New York City? What do I think about the melting down a what statue?

Robert E. Lee. Robert E. Lee. He was the quarterback for the Jets, right? No. What do you think I think about it? I think it's great because I think Robert E. Lee was a racist and George Floyd was just minding his business. He's just a nice black guy who does porn and sticks a knife to a pregnant lady's stomach. Robert E. Lee, I think he didn't like the colors.

So I think it's terrific. You know what I think about it. I think they ought to melt it down and then throw that hot lava in fucking whoever's face. Bellazio's gone. Get his wife. I don't give a fuck. They should be building Robert E. Lee statues. The right never fucking fights back. They just don't do anything proactive. That's how I know they're full of shit. Although I did see a senator last night, Tucker Carlson, from, was it the great state of Kansas?

I don't know. But he was a ball guy, no nonsense. And he said, we should start legislating, getting rid of all the financial aid, NAACP affirmative actions action's basically gone, but he was implying getting rid of all those programs. That's the first time anybody's had the balls to say that. And he's right on, because it's not 1958 like the Democrats are telling you it is.

Yet you keep believing it, people on the left. Anyways, I'm back on the road this weekend, if you don't know. This Friday and Saturday, I'll be at the CP Live Club in Phoenix, Arizona. And then on Thursday, January 27th, I'll be doing this show, the podcast. I have no idea how. Dallas and Tommy will figure it out. Live in Raleigh, North Carolina at good nights. Get a ticket to be in the audience. This could be fun or a nightmare, but it'll still be fun. Nothing's funnier than when I'm caught in a situation that sucks. I also want to take a second to remind you guys to join as monthly subscribers on thecomicsgym.com or patreon.com.

You'll get the daily encore episode. That's an extra story. Access to the voicemail line like you just heard, and perks like that. So please do that. Sign up on a monthly basis. That'll give us a foundation to keep us going until one of these new platforms comes after me. I'm telling you, it's like guacamole. comes after me. I'm telling you, it's like guacamole. What do we got next?

This is CNN, the most trusted name in news. Smokers laugh. CNN ratings, get this. This is such good news, it made me hard. CNN's ratings took a nosedive by a massive, not 40%, not even, if you said 25, you'd be like, ooh, not 50%. How about 90%? 90%. That means I'm getting more people, I bet.

90%. And you know what? Once again, we all predicted this. Once Trump would leave, we were saying it on the right, they're going to crash and burn. Who said it first? Donald Trump. They need me. They need me.

They're going to fold up when I get out of here. You better hope I... 90%. It makes me fucking horny hearing that. 90% both overall and in the all-important demographic coveted by advertisers in the first week of the new year. Congratulations, CNN. Here's Jeff Zucker still at the helm. How is that possible? Nothing good has happened to that network.

Jeff Zucker, the Jeff Zucker-led cable news network averaged, get this, just 548,000 viewers during the week, during the week on an average. Gutfeld gets like 2 million or something, literally. Week of January 3rd, a major drop from the nearly 2.7 million viewers for the same week in 2021, according to Nielsen's rating. You're doing a good job, sucker. There he is on the phone texting Hunter saying, listen, I got to rock at the Four Seasons. The year ago, ratings were jolted by the left-leaning network's coverage of the January 6th attack. So even the numbers were fake.

January 6th boosted it. January 6th attack on the U.S. Capitol. Listen to this. This is how many stupid people are still out there watching it, which resulted in CNN having its most watched day since Ted Turner launched the news outlet in 1980. That made me upset. There's that many of you dumb fucks, you lefties, you Democrats. Yeah, it's that easy.

People go, it's not a left-right thing. Yeah, it is. You're fucking ignorant. You tuned into the January 6th coverage by CNN. No wonder why you have no idea what the real facts are, like Ray Epps, that guy who was telling people to run into the Capitol. Nobody can find him now. He wasn't arrested or anything. No wonder why you're so stupid, uninformed voters. But on the one-year anniversary of the attacks, viewers flipped over to CNN's right-wing rival,

on the one-year, Fox News, which topped the ratings coverage for the event. CNN has been plagued by, now these are the reasons they've given. I'll disagree with these two. It doesn't help, but I think people are finally coming around. CNN's been plagued by a cascade of high-profile scandals, most notably the firing of its primetime star, Chris Cuomo, after the anchor was found to be secretly aiding the defense of his embattled older brother, Governor Andrew Cuomo, former, for sexual harassment allegations that resulted in him resigning.

CNN's longtime boss, Zucker, was slammed last month over the network's low ratings by who? Who slammed him? What, Ted Turner? He's dead, ain't he? And dealings over scandals concerning network stars Cuomo and Don... Please give me a cup. Lemon.

Here's Lemon right there going, ugh, I'm just going to come back from the men's room. I went to take a dump. It was all blood. I don't know what I did last night, but from the men's room. I went to take a dump. It was all blood. I don't know what I did last night, but it couldn't be good. Lemon, the host of the 10 p.m. show that followed Cuomo before he was fired, faced his own ethics scandal.

The primetime anchor was criticized for covering Jussie Smollett's trial after the Empire actor testified in court that the host informed him via text message that Chicago police did not believe he was the victim of a racist, homophobic attack. You are disgusting, Donnie. I suck coke. Oh, you do more than that. And I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy.

Lemon is also being sued by Hampton's bartender who claims the anchor who was gay rubbed his own genitals. Who hasn't done this? Then shoved his fingers in the guy's face in 2018. The guy's still on a ventilator. They said, what did it smell like? He said, it was a combination of balls, sweat, ass, and Ajax. What?

Lemon has denied the bartender's allegations. According to Nielsen, CNN has struggled to grab viewers during primetime between 8 and 11 p.m. Listen to this. Recording an 83% year-over drop. It had 4.2 million total primetime viewers

during the first week of last year and get this, over 4.2 mil down to $705,000. Can we say it's over? Seriously? Can they fold up shop? You can't survive on that. What advertisers are going to go there? Oh, that's right. You know what? This isn't a profit-making thing anyways. This is a propaganda arm for the government. What was I thinking? During the first week of the year, CNN recorded a year-over-year decline of 80% of its total audience.

I was trying to tell Joe Rogan this four years ago when I went on his show. And he was telling me how Trump was such a fucking liar, blah, blah, blah. And he started quoting CNN, how was such a fucking liar, blah, blah, blah. And he started quoting CNN, how many times Trump's headlined NBC. And now he's coming around. We want him on our side. Guy's got fucking, he's got the most powerful, I mean, he would crush Johnny Carson in the 70s. It's also 89% of its prime time viewers among its key demographic it lost, and 91% of viewers ages 18 to 49, which is the demographic everybody wants. So what's left? And if they survive, it proves we're right. It's just a propaganda tool.

The other thing is they make a ton of money online. They have like the most successful website because it's all about clicks. That's where they make their real money. This is the TV. The network is like an advertisement. People go online and click and read their horseshit. Hey, guess what? CNN did not respond to requests for comment.

Really? I don't believe it. This is CNN. No, no more. Most trusted name in news. And I'll say it again, a very clever line that only I could come up with. You know it's a corrupt network when the guy that's the voice of the network is Darth Vader. People have heard that done a fucking thousand times after I said it, naturally. I

should get royalties for, I hear my shit all the time the time well how do you know you said it first very easy I used to put it up on twitter so you actually have the date and when you said it and then you could scour backwards and see that nobody ever said it that's how I back to the show who cares an Arizona woman uh I hope she doesn't come to my show I'll kick her right in her big, filthy mitt. Arizona woman, get this, accused, you know what? I'm going to invite her to the show. CB Live, Friday and Saturday night in Phoenix, lady, who I'm going to read about. Arizona, you'll love me. You'll love my comedy. It's right up your alley. By alley, I mean giant cheese-filled ass crack.

An Arizona woman is accused Delta Airlines of discrimination after she was unable to buy a gender X ticket for her non-binary child due to the company's booking tools. If I'm working for them and she comes up and gets mad at me, I'd be like, shut your fucking mouth. Shut the fuck up, you cunt. That's how you treat her. Dawn Henry, D-A-W-N.

There you go. I said to Dallas when he showed me this picture, when we were going over the show beforehand, I said, if you read this story to me and asked me to sketch this woman, I would have done that. That's what would have come up. A fucking ugly, sort of manly-looking, now we know why the kids are hee-shee,

fucking Gilligan hat wearing. Look at her. Her face, her aura just says, I'm offended by anything I disagree with. Please come to my show at CB Live. I want to tee up your head. Like I'm an NFL kicker trying to make a 65-yarder into the wind. Dawn Henry, who has a cock, 52, slammed Delta in a lengthy series of, wow, really got a lot to do with your life, huh?

In tweets last week saying she wanted to buy her 21-year-old a surprise ticket for Christmas when she discovered the carrier only provides male or female options. You know why that is? That's all the options there really are in life. How about this? New rule. You got to pull your pants down and show us what you got down.

You have to do it in the terminal in front of everybody before they're boarding. But her child identifies as a billy goat and slash cactus. What? No, but her child identifies as neither exclusively male nor female. Is this how I can get early boarding and I'm not shitting? Can I go up and go, you know what, I identify as a veteran who's missing both legs. Can I board early? And has an X marker on their birth certificate in Washington State driver's license. Of course, because you live in the shittiest state. Delta is discriminating against

hashtag non-binary individuals and not allowing them to fly. Again, in her world, every other person's non-binary. Despite legal ID issued by states that allow X on birth certificates and state-issued IDs, Henry said in the first 19 tweets. Wow, you're really busy, huh? This thread is the ongoing saga of me trying to purchase a ticket for my non-binary adult child, she added. Oh,, you. The mother noted that the TSA requires that the boarding pass reservation match your state-issued ID. TSA accepts X as a gender marker on state IDs. The problem isn't with TSA. The problem is the airlines.

At Delta, at Alaska Air, Henry continued, the at Delta supervisor got short with me and said, sorry, that's the policy. I said, are you telling me you aren't allowing my non-binary hashtag LGBTQ kid who has a perfectly legal state-issued ID to fly, she said? She said, no, I'm not saying that. It's just the policy. I love it. Henry wrote, she said she told the staffer that the policy is discriminatory. You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt. Wah.

Wah. She said, talking loudly over me, that is not discriminatory. It's just their policy. I said, then the policy is discriminatory. I was upset by this point. Not yelling, just super frustrated. She points out that she wasn't yelling. Do you understand how better she thinks she is than the rest of us?

Do you get that? Do you understand how better she thinks she is than the rest of us? Do you get that? Do you understand she watches CNN? She votes for people like Biden and Hillary Clinton. Do you understand this cancer is the problem? Gilligan's hat. Fucking drill you with a coconut. Nope. Little buddy. And the Delta supervisor was clearly not going to help in any form and was shouting over me. So I hung up, and I picked up this dildo I carved out of redwood. Stuck it, Mike. Gender identity is protected under the Civil Rights Act. How is Delta's disparate treatment in refusing to issue a ticket

with a correct TSA required legal? Hashtag non-binary gender marker legal Henry asked it's a sick question you're sick fuck and I'm not that sick that I'm gonna answer it no boy that should have been the answer from the supervisor what a small world you live in miss Henry again come see me at CB live and bring your kid guarantee I'll get along with the kid and hate your guts the person was just following policy she makes it sound like millions and millions, millions and millions of transgender.

Is that what the kid was? Oh, non-binary. I'm sorry. Totally different. Boy, I'm confusing my terms. Meaning she doesn't identify as a boy. Again, pull your pants down. If I can suck it or finger it, we'll make the decision.

I solved the problem. Good night, everybody. If I can suck it or lick it, it would have been funnier. Nick, that's horrible. Remind me to write that one down. That'll get them. Using the internet, this is one of our best sponsors, by the way. Using the internet without ExpressVPN is like leaving your keys in your car while you're running to the gas station for a snack. That's where I snack all the time. Most of the time, you're probably fine. But what if you come back to see someone driving off with your car? Every time you connect to an unencrypted network at coffee shops, hotels, airports, any hacker on the same network can gain access to

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Usually I'm in such a great mood. On Thursday it's over. The other thing that's making me sick, my flight's at like 9, which means I should be there at 8. I'm very anal with getting there. And which means I gotta get there. a I'm very anal with getting that and which means I get it But if I was living in New York and I had to go from Westchester to LaGuardia And you know, you don't know what you're gonna hit. I can't believe I did it all those years

Anyways, once I'm out there, I'll be fine folks It just hangs over me and I hear a lot of other people saying when they know they have to fly they get a pit In his stomach for two days. that's how I feel and here's the other thing I'm not worried about the plane going down but maybe I am I had a great line in Rich Voss my buddy very funny comic he's been around for ever it's for us I think it was tough crowd oh we sit around he goes read an article he says if you're like a professional you know singer a professional comedian, you're

like ten times more likely to die in a plane crash. And I said, well, you're fine. He said, why? I said, they said professional, right? I tell you, we laughed at it. But here's what I always think. Real quick, I'm digressing here. You know the saying, you can't win them all?

You've heard that, right? You can't win them all? You've heard that, right? You can't win them all? When you land on a, every time you land after you take off a flight and you land at your destination, that's a win. This is how my mind thinks. And I've been flying for 30 years now. And I keep hearing that voice, you can't win them all. Geez, I hope I'm not jinxing myself. Let's get to some blacks.

What? Blacks. Blacks. Blacks. That's one of my favorite Louis CK bits. This guy goes, I know this guy's real racist, but he goes, he can't help it, he grew up on a farm, he doesn't know any better. He goes, what was it, a racist farm? Sheep are going, blacks, blacks. The cows

are going, Jews, Jews. Shocking video shows a smash. Why is it shocking? First of all, we show one every other day we could, and it's the same people doing it, if you know what I mean. Shocking video, nothing shocking about it, shows video, a smash and grab gang using hammers other day we could and it's the same people doing it if you know what i mean shocking video nothing shocking about it shows video a smash and grab gang using hammers to take over a california shopping center allegedly swiping around a hundred thousand dollars of jewelry after threatening customers and the staff could be uh brown too because this is in California. Could be, you know, could be a gang of, you know, whatever. The footage shows the gang of nine suddenly swarming La Placita Tropicana shopping center in San Jose.

I'm guessing it's Hispanic. With hammers already in their hands. Let's take a look at these fucking idiots. Latest one happened yesterday at Credit Jewelers in San Jose. That's in the La Placita Tropicana shopping center. And that's to say 10 people, which you see right there, forced their way into the store, smashed the cases, they're carrying hammers there, stole jewelry, and then just exited the building. Looks like Black Friday at Walmart.

It's very different from a standard smash and grab or what we've seen recently with retail mall thefts. These individuals actually forced their way into the store, and by saying takeover robbery, they demanded everybody to get on the ground. So it's much different. This is a takeover robbery, not a smash. You stupid shit.

You stupid fuckfucker. He's focusing on, you know, this is different. How's it different? Because they told employees to get on. It's all organized. Is it less or more dangerous? What are you talking about, Steve? You guys are done in California. Customers and staff were terrified as the gang screamed at them to get on the ground, even though there's no ground in a store, there's a floor. One of the owners told the Mercury News, the footage from January 3 shows the gang spreading out and smashing glass displays, while others run around throwing jewelry into bags, completely ignoring a female staffer who runs out and appears to try to stop them.

Yeah, she made a hell of an effort. Then she flees, because she's smart. Chased by staffers carrying two of the dropped hammers just 30 seconds after they'd first stormed in. So there's a woman. Look at her. Poor woman working in there. And then George Jefferson weighed in. I'm getting mad. Listen to me. That's what happens when you mix black and white. Ten more seconds, he's going to call a nigger. What?

The San Jose Police Department expressed alarm at the increased threat level compared to the smash and grab raids that sparked panic across the state late last year. I don't understand the point. Do you? Any robbery. I don't care. It's all dangerous. There had been no arrests as of Monday. You know why that is, folks? They have no intention on arrests.

This is basically reparations. Other California raids have seen up to 90 people. 90. Storming the stores at once. Maybe I get one of these kids to be my marketing guy for my show. They can get 90 people to show up in three minutes. Police chiefs have blamed progressive bail reforms for emboldening the criminals, of course.

Nothing to see here, please, Pittsburgh. Nothing to see here, please. Final story. Final story for the week, ladies and gentlemen. Grammy is high. A South, this is a good one. A South Dakota mother accidentally served her son's pot brownies to other senior citizens during a card game at a community center last week according to the authorities that's a it's a good one

that would be fun watching the people in the hood hey Millie you feel funny God damn it. I don't know. I feel hazy and lazy. I'm going to go lay on that floor with, just put bleach on and take a nap and shit my pants. I don't, huh? Michael Coran, the 46-year-old elementary school teacher, was arrested the next day and charged with possession of a controlled substance.

Listen to how this happened. There he is, Joe Rogan wannabe. On the evening of January 4th, the Bond Home County Sheriff's Office started receiving calls about possible poisonings, according to an arrest affidavit obtained by Fox News Digital. An investigation into the incident led me to believe that the patients were all under the influence of THC. I came in, one of them was playing guitar, the other one, three sitting around Indian style, from a batch of brownies that were brought to the community center. A responding deputy wrote in the affidavit, Bornholm County Sheriff Mark Maggs went to Karanda's home the next day

and spoke with the man's mother, who confirmed that she had taken her son's brownies to the card game. The sheriff then went to the elementary school where Karanda teaches and asked him about the edibles. And of course he said, I don't know nothing about that. Karanda reportedly told the sheriff that he had brought one pound of butter infused. He bought one pound of butter.

That's the butter? That's what my butter looks like when I leave it out. I still eat it. He bought one pound of butter infused with THC. I'm going to stick that in my turkey next year. The main mind-altering ingredient in marijuana. He brought it back from Colorado. Karanda said he used half a pound of THC butter

to make the pan of brownies and then went to bed, and his mother unknowingly took the brownies to the card game where several people ingested them. That's what the ref asked. Anyways, all people ate the brownies. Nighty-night, Grampy. Thank you. Thank you.

Sounds like... Now, there's a couple of questions here. I'd be pissed if I'm the son going, first of all, why'd you take my fucking brownies? Either that or he's lying. He made the son going, first of all, why'd you take my fucking brownies? Either that or he's lying, he made the brownies, and he just wanted to get a kick out of it. People work at that level, I'm sorry. Hey, what if I put these out here? I know she'll take them. Then I'll show up at the bingo game with fucking magic mushrooms. Yeah, clean the place up. Exactly. Anyways, it turns out three old people wrote two number one songs.

Anyhow, I thought that was fun. But why are you taking the kids' brownies, ma? She's like, I'm his mother, for Christ's sake. I used to wipe his ass. I could have anything I wanted. Well, okay. Do you know he was a junkie? That happened to me once.

I took a plate of lemon squares. My mother had laced with meth for, I don't know why. She had a problem, I guess. I got to go. It's late. Before I go for the week, you guys who contribute are the lifeblood of the Nick DiPaolo Show. I want to thank the following people for contributing this week to the show. Michael Lombardi of New York, Freighter Slaves, get it, Freighter Slaves, Georgia, Michael Wood, Oklahoma, Ibrahim Shojari, Texas, Vito Pontarelli, South Dakota,

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don't forget Monday no show again we'll put something up I believe we'll be back on Tuesday until then

I hope to see you out in Phoenix Have a good weekend if I don't Bye I'm going to go down guitar solo Outro Music