The Nick DiPaolo Show - The Episode Where It All Began | Nick Di Paolo Show #001

Episode Date: July 22, 2021

The very first episode of The Nick Di Paolo Show.

Hi, boys and girls. Nick DiPaolo here. Free speech lives right here on The Nick DiPaolo Show. I'm grateful to be able to do this show my way, and I'm only able to do it my way because of your generous contributions. Please go to nickdip.com or click the link on thecomicsgym.com and contribute today to keep this show and our speech free. Thank you so much. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah! Welcome folks! That high note is a sign. I am back. How are ya?

Good to be with ya. The Nick DiPaolo Podcast. The number if you want to call in. We're going to treat this just like the Sirius Radio Show. 888-599-NICK. 888-599-6425. If you want to chime in. And great to be back. It seems like it's taken forever. I know a lot of people busting my balls on Twitter and social media.

What's taking so long? Blah, blah, blah. But, you know, I wanted to do it right. Because if I threw some shit up there, you'd be first ones to uh jump down my throat because that's that's social media and uh it's the world we live in but it took a while a lot of money i've borrowed over 200 grand i'm in the hole but uh i want to uh i want to uh give some thank yous before I forget the people that made this possible. And I'm talking about, first of all, Will Wilkerson and the people at Connect Pal. By the way, the Connect Pal show is done, folks.

People have been asking me on there. That's done. But I want to thank Will Wilkerson and Connect Pal. That was my first podcast that led to the Sirius radio show. I can't thank them enough. They're more than gracious. And even when I left, if I was them,

I'd be like, well, fuck you. Now you're leaving us in the dust. Well, that's life. It sucks. But Will Wilkerson and all the subscribers at ConnectPal.

Michael Baker, my web guy, Michael Baker Digital. So he did the live opening. Sell for Tucci. Color my world. They built the live opening. Sal Fertucci, Color My World. They built the sound booth. This guy was unbelievable. Him and 12 Guatemalans showed up

and they were here 10 minutes and built out this, used to be a kitchen down here. They built the sound booth. This guy does unbelievable work. Color My World is his company. He did Derek Jeter's house and Howard Stern's apartment.

Jason Minello did the logo design, the podcast artwork. And can we get a wide shot? world is his company he did derek jita's house and and howard stern's apartment jason manello did the uh logo design the podcast artwork and can we get a wide shot guys of behind me let's go to the uh the wide shot i want to show the mural that's uh that's john mcgraw photography i found that online and uh that's a shot of a a place in. And at John McGraw Photography, he provided us with that. Happened to be a fan, so I got a break there financially. And Glenn Baback, which is at Pinpoint. He made the murals, logos, hats, T-shirts. Matt Nichols, soundproofing engineer.

My buddy Rob Sprantz at Riotcast and Bobby Kelly. They're always there when I have a question. And so I got to thank them too. Robin and Susan Craft at Creative Flooring provided the rug, which has already been stained. I can't tell you how and why. And of course, the theme music was done by none other than Richie Castellano of Blue Waste Occult fame.

And Richie is unbelievably talented. So, Jay Romaniello is the one we have to thank the most. This is the tech guy right there. There he is. That looks like a shot of a cancer ward in the waiting room at Sloan Kettering. But that's Jay. That's Jay.

His company is ITYS. I told you so, Productions. He started at ESPN when they were using candlelight and and shit he covers nascar uh hockey he doesn't take a day off he saw me on anthony coombe his show and uh this was months ago and i said hey i need a tech guy if i'm gonna do this i was dumb enough to answer the phone yes he answered the phone because he's up and he has a coke problem he's up all night and um so yeah that's how we found him we answered an email and he's been a godsend he comes here three for the last month at least three times a week 10 12 hours a day right jay and uh i've been laughing uh every minute i've been here let's not fucking

lie this house is doom and gloom let's be honest i'm gonna throw in my one joke and go away now i work with vaginas and assholes goodbye that's all right if i know you had that type of uh he does he edits he's been doing a thing a medical thing where he edits uh vagina operations at home he has to edit the the photography he's up to his he's up to his elbows and pussy he has a rubber thing with no legs he showed me look like a girl from afghanistan what there's the first uh there's the first insult but uh i think we the patreon feed right now this is the first show there's gonna be some bugs folks so the patreon feed and the nickdip.com feed we're working on that right now we had it right before the show started so we're working on that right now. We had it right before the show started,

so we're working on that. But we'll be with you soon. So just be patient. And I want to thank the ConnectPal subscribers real quick. These guys kept contributing after the ConnectPal show went off the air, the podcast. Jonathan Keller, Buddy Galore,

Robert Schlueter, Dennis Paul, Daniel Pamentouin, Joseph Veltri. Nicktip.com is up, I was just told. So, one down, one to go. Douglas Edwards, Joseph Crisberg, Keith Anderson, Jennifer Bella, Sean Murphy, Nicholas Simone, Jose Blasic. That's right, I have plenty of Hispanic slash Jewish fans. Jose Blasic. That's right.

I have plenty of Hispanic slash Jewish fans. Julie Corwin, Edward Bullock, James Shearer, Tyler Blickenstaff, Dino Cantillo, Jeff Cook, and Jeffrey Kalman. They kept sending money after the show and off the air. That's how much they liked it. And it helped pay for a lot of this shit. It paid for that ashtray and this coffee mug. I want to thank you guys very, very much. Did I forget anything?

God, I hate being polite polite nobody wants to fucking hear this 888-599 nick is the phone number finally shout outs to the people uh we have over 400 subscriptions and i've been before i even went on the air today and uh you know you can join the Fredo package for $7, the Sonny for $15 and the Michael Corleone package for $30 and you get a shout out if you join the Michael tier

so I want to thank these people they went big with the $30 package Doc Grime, Louis Giorgetta Rob Nugent, Sean O'Toole Sean Post David David Cabal, Kevin B. O'Neill, Brian Sterry, David Villalta, Jacob Perez, Tom Larry, Tankerman, Kenny Cummings, Thomas Martin, Brendan Reese, Joseph Rodriguez, Richie Calacao, Mark Penizza, Grant Riley, Michael Corbin, EJ Nacy, Tom Bush,

Jose Blasic, William Wilkin Kaufman, Jamie Wingfield, Scott Goss, Ron Castellanos, Mark Rolfe, Chris Hawkins, Kevin McArdle. Again, these are all $30 donations. David Rodenborn, Matt Mersing, Carl, just plain Carl, and Ron Epple. Thank you for signing up. They went with the Michael Corleone package where you get all kinds of stuff. Yes, so nicktip.com is up, right? Beautiful. This is me right after I got fired from Sirius Radio.

We'll do it live. Okay. We'll do it live. Okay. We'll do it live. Fuck it. Do it live. I'll write it and we'll do it live. Fucking thing sucks.

And then I got into it with my agent. Get this through your head, you. Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you. I'll tell you, it got ugly for a while there. But here we are and uh wow

the calls are building up already i wanted to get into the serious firing because people are still asking me about that online and um i wanted to get into obviously it's been interesting a couple weeks for me a couple months i should say you all heard about the getting sucker punched by a girl in birkenstocks at a comedy club after the show. Well, I was in midstream conversation with her old man. And I think I was set up, honestly. But yeah.

Well, there you go. She got me. That almost looks fake, doesn't it? It almost looks fake. Apparently, she was wearing a P. Diddy ring or something. And she caught me flush. Apparently she was wearing a P. Diddy ring or something and she caught me flush. That thing was closing up within seconds.

I'll get to that in a few minutes. It still fucking hurts. I still have headaches. And you people ask me, was she arrested? Yeah, she was arrested, but they took her to a psychiatric hospital because that's what left wing fucking loons they get a break no matter what now if i did that back to her like a lot of people's suggestion online which thank god i'm 56 and i know better but i've been i would have been in jail for three weeks by now she's out drinking soy milk and buying shitty sandals i'm telling you it's the climate of the country. Anyways, let's go to PJ on line one. PJ, what's going on?

PJ, line one. What's happening? Hey, what's going on, brother? First of all, it is a goddamn travesty what Sirius did to you, man. Well, you know, I'm not going to shit on Sirius. I was angry and disappointed, yes. Fair enough. But I don't want to burn bridges

because I still get royalties from them and they play my stuff and I need the cash, let's be honest. Oh, oh. But, you know... I did not know that, sorry. No, I know, no, but... You're good people.

But, look... Yeah, I was just telling you guys... It came down... It came down it came down to politics um you know i can hear you guys right in there it came down to politics look i i'm gonna explain it right now what happened my contract was going to be up in in like three weeks two or three weeks i tweeted something um that wasn't that controversial. They say they fired me because of the... Ostensibly, I was fired because of the tweet.

But I don't think it was that offensive because Twitter didn't even reprimand me. So, but either way, it was my politics, I think. They just... They were probably not going to renew the show anyways, and they used that as an excuse to tweet. But either way, it's because I lean right in my politics.

That's my opinion on it. What's that? I'm amazed you're on there as long as you were. I mean, your show was insane compared to anything I've heard on TV, radio, anything. Well, I guess, but it's satellite fucking radio. It's satellite radio. And it was popular. The show was popular.

And I know that wasn't a problem because there's five shows that were on Faction Talk. I had leapfrogged two of them, and I had only been there four months. And that was told to me by management. So the show was popular. Somebody summed it up perfectly. One of my fans on Facebook, he did an imitation of the meeting, and he pretended it was a serious management meeting, and he said, is the show good? Yes.

Do the people like it? Absolutely. Does it align with my politics and my friends' politics? No. Okay, it's got to go. Which I thought was pretty accurate. But, hey, you're the first caller, PJ, so we appreciate you chiming in. It's a real privilege. But what I wanted to get to,

speaking of politics, is over the past two weeks, I've been hearing more and more talk about this Civil War II. And people are taking it more seriously. But I want to hear your thoughts on it, because I'm not sure who the fuck to fight. It's very easy.

You fucking hear anybody wearing a ski mask and is holding a Molotov cocktail and doesn't have the balls to show their face. But I was talking about Civil War a year ago because that's the climate. The left has lost their fucking minds. And when Trump got elected, they went even crazier. So, look, I've been victim of it. I get popped in the face. It's getting physical.

So guns and knives can't be far behind. Yeah, I tried doing that. I wound up beating the shit out of Elmo in Times Square. A lot of people have. Thanks for the call, PJ. I appreciate it. You broke our charity. Congratulations on your new show. I appreciate it. You broke our charity. Congratulations on your new show.

I appreciate it. Thanks, buddy. 888-599-NICK is the phone number. And yeah, I mean, come on. It's getting really ugly out there. But again, as far as the firing, it's serious. I think a lot of people, Joe Rogan texted me like the next day and said it was a blessing in disguise, dude. And he says, look, you're not meant to work for anybody.

Any comedian worth their weight in salt shouldn't have a boss, which is kind of true. But I look at it as the radio show is one year of advertising for this. So that's how I'm looking at it but uh yeah here's what happened because people are still asking me i i came off stage i went in the green room at levity live it's in the palisades mall and and it was like a sunday night father's day night and uh i come out the green room and they're filing people out to the door to the left of the stage which is i think is unusual so i impromptu started shaking hands and taking pictures and i don't always do that for reasons like this so um i shake a few hands this guy approaches me says can i get a picture with

you stands to my right and i'm shaking hands with me goes yeah i love the show but uh my daughter wanted to punch you in the face he didn't even get the word face out, and I get cracked as I'm looking at him from my left. I didn't even know she was standing there. And I was, like, getting a little bit of shock when you get hit like that, but I was still, my instincts were to look right at him. Seconds after she hit me, I looked at him, and I go, did you just fucking set me up to,

which I really believe is the case. I think he used his daughter, weaponized his daughter. Anyways, but I went on a few radio shows and talked about that. And then people kept, they had a tendency to, you know, they were equivocating. They kept saying, well, you know, this happens on both sides. And I said to that, that's bullshit. Show me one example. It might have happened and I haven't read about it,

but show me an example where a straight white male came out of a comedy club audience and sucker punched a black comic, a female comic, a gay comic, a Muslim comic. I don't think it's happened. So this is where we are. And no, I'm not going to hit her back. That would be true gender equality, which is what they claim they fucking want. If we had that, I could have popped her in the face and people would have said, she had it coming.

But that's not how the world works today. So Rogan texts me. He goes, dude, I don't know how you held your temper. I would have leg whipped her, which made me laugh for five minutes. I'm picturing Rogan. He's got like a 12 degree black belt and everything. Kicking this girl in the leg but um you can't do that and if i did that i'd be in jail and then i didn't hear from the assistant district attorney for like i don't know 12 days and i finally got on the phone with her and guess what folks they're just going to try to blow this off

i'm not a litigious guy like i said the only thing I hate more than lawyers are, you know, hardcore feminists. Um, so, but I'm going to try to make an example of her. I'm not going to take this fucking lying down, but now I can't find an injury attorney. You know, if there's not, if you're not comatose to have a broken neck, they want nothing to do with it. It really is an ugly fucking world. It really is. want nothing to do with it it really is an ugly fucking world it really is uh let's go to mark uh our buddy in uh san diego mark on line two mark uh mark what's going on nick i'll tell you what i'm looking at you on the dip video feed you're looking sharp thanks for dressing up unlike most of these slobs in their podcast rolling out in their pajamas and stuff i'll tell you what man boy you should have right crossed her dad because man that girl i'd love to see what team she plays for because she's got a she's

packing a punch bro but nick yeah well look and you know it's funny mark and i know this was going to happen i i said this uh minutes after i go you know what's going, Mark? And I know this was going to happen. I said this minutes after. I go, you know what's going to happen? This is going to be on social media, and people are going to turn it. You get beat up by a girl. Sure enough, the fucking morons out there. And I'm like, I said, no, it's not like she outpointed me in a 10-round match. You know?

I mean, a five-year-old girl will give you a black eye if she has a free shot at your eye. I mean, a five-year-old girl will give you a black eye if she has a free shot at your eye. No, but her pops deserve the dry goals just for raising a beast like that, you know? Well, you know, she does have problems, and I'm not making excuses for her. But, you know, he, in my opinion, he was definitely, definitely complicit. It went down like clockwork. As soon as he said, she wants to punch you in the face,

I get punched in the face. And I know I'm a paranoid guinea, but I looked right at him. Like I said, I was seeing stars, and I said, did you fucking set me up? And then I told the staff to call the cops. So I hate lawyers and all that shit, but you gotta, somebody's gotta, you gotta do something.

We're not gonna, I'm not gonna live in a world where I can't hit back and I can't take it to the courts. Then what? Right, Mark, in San Diego? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I feel you, Nick, but I'm not scared of cuffs,

so I would have gone about it a different way. But, hey, Nick, let me ask you this. Wait a minute. Are you Latino? We've been over this. Yeah, I'm the beater with the big wiener, dog, Nick, let me ask you. Wait a minute. Are you Latino? We've been over this. Yeah, I'm the beater with the big wiener, dog, you know. I didn't hear that. Let's not turn this into a dick joke.

Hey, Nick. Yeah. Two years out in a state that you know is locked up for the dick-angled dog face. They're already out here looking for the uninformed voters do you think the middle of the country is going to get the same treatment and is it a threat to trump in 2020 what do you mean get the same treatment by who no out here they're already getting all in the hood in the body they're trying to sign people up to vote, register to vote. Oh, of course. Because it's going to be so important.

It's like, Kelford is locked up for the thick-angled dog face. Is this going to spread, and is it a threat to Trump in 2020, is my question. I don't think the thick-ankled dog face, for people who aren't familiar with the show, that would be Hillary.

I don't think she has the stamina. I mean, she almost died last year, right? The temperature got above 80. She had a shit stain in her pantsuit getting on the plane. I don't think she's healthy enough to run again. And I don't think the Democrat Party, it's already moved too far left. They don't want her. The millennials don't like her.

The millennial girls hate her because they're like, that's not a feminist. She fucking blew Bill Clinton, and he carried her the rest of the way. So I don't think she will be the nominee. But, you know, they're going so far left, yeah. And they're trying to sign everybody up, and they're getting away with it. So, I mean, to answer your question, yeah, I'm sure they'll try that. But I don't think it's going to fly in Ohio and Wisconsin. I could be wrong. I don't know don't know hey mark good hearing from your buddy

appreciate the support all right nick you're looking you're looking sharp on the video thanks man we'll talk to you yeah i don't know bill uh bill and hillary were on a plane today they're flying commercial so apparently they've lost their juice they were like on a plane today. They're flying commercial. So apparently they've lost their juice. They were like on a Delta flight. And the thick-ankled dog face and the molester right next to her. And guess what? I didn't see any right-wingers

getting in their face and fucking threatening them. And doing all the shit that's been done to Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Getting screamed out of a restaurant. And, you know, I guess Steve Bannon was in a bookstore this weekend in D.C. Some lady called him a piece of garbage or whatever. And women can do that because, you know, it's not going to get physical.

And if it does, the guy's going to jail. And then you had that woman approach Pruitt with her baby. They always have the baby, you know, in the hand and approach Pruitt at a restaurant. And apparently that one worked because he resigned a few days later. So, I mean, if this is what it comes to, it's what it comes to. And yes, you have a right to protest and shit, but you don't show up at people's homes and scare the shit out of the families. You know, I mean, it's fucking soon as the right starts doing that shit and i'm sure there's been a little bit of it but then then the gloves will be off but we tend to be more decent

old crusty white people not young people full of piss and vinegar 888-599-n-i-c-k is the phone number uh let's go to uh mark on line online, uh, three Mark from Bridgewater. Mark, what's happening? Mark, you there? Nick, can you hear me? I hear you clear, bro. I'm here, man. Can you hear me?

Yeah. All right. Uh, first of all, great to have you back. Thank you. Missed you. Um, I'm the guy I called you when you were on another, you know, let's just say platform. Yeah. And I work for a company in South Boston that makes detection technology.

Oh, yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Our firefighters, our emergency responders. Right. And are you familiar with Occupy Wall Street? Yes. I stepped in some human feces when i was going to the bank down there yeah

and all that yes that's what they go in yeah it looks like it looked like san francisco my colleagues are at a well that's pretty much it but uh one of my colleagues is at a conference in new york city this week for the department of homeland security and a tweet came out yeah from occupy wall street that said, and I quote, did you know that my company, I won't say the name, works with at DHS, I'm quoting, to hyper militarize the police across the USA and kidnap children via ICE.gov. So apparently my company, which is trying to protect people from WMDs and fentanyl,

is kidnapping people. What the fuck? Now, where was that? Is this how far the left is? What's that? Where was that publicized? That was what? You read that online somewhere?

That was a tweet from Occupy Wall Street. A fucking tweet. They were tweeting out, say, hey, go buy these companies because they're trying to militarize. And look, we're just trying to protect our responders. You're the enemy. Yeah, you're the first responder.

We're the enemy. Anything that's law and order, anything that made this country work in the first place, they're against. Yeah, abolish fucking ICE. Keep running on that platform. I mean, Trump must have a hard on him. I know. I will say this. I will say this.

A friend of mine, who will go unnamed, quoted to them, fuck you, I hope you die of a fentanyl overdose that comes across the border from Mexico. Well, that's a little rough. I don't like that type of language.

My goodness. Well, you know, not me, not me not me i'm kidding i'm fucking kidding mark hey i liked your friend great to have you back on board i hope you hear you by the way i signed up i i'm a i'm a michael you're a good thing okay that's a great thing that's the michael that means you're gonna get uh you're gonna get. That means you're going to get a shout-out. You're going to get a hat or a shirt for free and 20% off merchandise, I do believe. Well, I tell you what. I'm going to go so I can smoke a cigarette before my wife gets home.

So I'll hang up and listen to the rest of the show online. Thanks. Good hearing from you, brother. All right. Bye-bye. He's got to hide from his wife when he smokes a goddamn cigarette. I smoke. By the way, I'm up to about a pack, pack a day.

After I left serious and family issues and shit, I started smoking. I was always a casual, maybe one or two at the most when I had a few drinks of me. I just kicked it up to an actual, like a pack a day. I got to be honest with you, I'm fucking loving it. People, I tell people, they go, what are you doing at this stage of your life? You're 56. And I said, well, why would you start smoking in your 20s and teens when you're going to have ass cancer in your 30s and 40s? I figure I'll be diagnosed with cancer about 20 years from now. And then who gives a fuck then? I'm timing it perfectly. If I'm 78 in a diaper,

doctor, because you know what? You get cancer? Thank Christ. I'm still doing P90. This is when I knew I was a full-time smoker. I was doing yoga with a cigarette in my mouth. I burnt the rug. I was doing like downward facing dog.

It was like six burn holes. It's a true story. If you believe that. 888-599-6425 is the phone number. But yeah, so I, you know, I've been reading about, you know reading about the things that are happening to these people that work for Trump when they go out in public and shit. And then I tasted some of it myself.

So it's very, very real to me. I just wish I was in my 20s and 30s. I think I might join a militia. How's that for a career move? Let's go to John in Buffalo. Johnny boy. What's going on, John? How you doing, Nick?

It's good to have you back. Good to be back, John. Loved your show before. Now what do you get, about six inches of snow this morning up there? It's 80 degrees. Come on. 80 degrees. Holy on. 80 degrees. Holy shit.

Yeah, it's been a really hot couple of weeks. All right, enough of the chit-chat. Why are you calling, John? I'm hoping you're going to get Joe List on eventually because I love that guy. I saw a couple of his videos after you had him on your old show. Oh, he... Joe will definitely be... He's really good.

Yeah, he'll be... Well, I learned everything he fucking knows from me, so how can he be good? That's a joke. Of course he'll be here because he's been to the house. Hey, if it asks you a question, you want me to answer it to you. What do you want to, what are you, hang gliding right now? What the fuck? No, no, my phone went a little goofy.

Hey, the other thing is I hope you brought your clips with you. I want to hear Hyman Ross tell them they can eat the cake in a smaller piece. I want all of you to enjoy your cake. So, enjoy. That one? Yeah, smaller piece. Smaller piece. Hey, John, you have the energy of a cancer patient.

You all right? No, this phone's screwed up. I'll talk to you soon. All right, thanks, John. Take it easy. He used to call the radio show all the time. You might want to check on him. I'm not going to check on him.

I'm hoping he's gone. He's gone. There's nothing we can do about it. He's gone. What do you mean? He's gone. He called brought the... He called all the time on the serious show.

So, what the hell else? The big story, I guess, Trump already has made his decision about the Supreme Court justice. He just hasn't told anybody. He's holding it till 9 o'clock tonight, treating it like the bachelor. Who do you guys, who do you think? I kind of want the, I want the broad. She's kind of cute. I don't go by left, right. I go by cute, ugly. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, she looks like a cadaver in a gown. Excuse me. And she's got to go. I think his Amy Barrett would balance that ugliness off and Sotomayor. It looks like a tackle for the Eagles. But I think that Hardeman guy has the edge because he works with Trump's sister

on some lower circuit court in Philadelphia. So I would think Trump, you know how he is with family and loyalty, I would think he would have the inside track. But they keep bringing up Roe versus Wade. Don't worry. You're going to kill all the babies you want. Relax. I've been hearing that since high school. And by the way, I'm not

a pro-life guy. So this few people think I'm a real right winger. I think I'd be a hypocrite if I was pro-life because when I was young and messing around a lot, I was glad there were Planned Parenthoods. I got to be honest with you. That's a horrible thing to say, but I'm just saying, you know, 55 million babies since Roe versus Wade. You're not supposed to use it as a, you know, it's like using it instead of a rubber.

So, but I don't care either way so um but they're all supposedly real conservative and and um you got that guy kavanaugh who's got the most experience and mitch mcconnell mitch mcconnell doesn't want him to be the pick because it would take forever to go over all the cases all the precedents because the guy was made a thousand rulings and stuff so mitch will take too long and a thousand rulings and stuff. So, Mitch, it won't take too long. And I say, well, we go with the rod. So, but my money's on Hardeman and the other guy, Ketheridge,

I guess hit it off real well with Trump. So all you got to do, right, is go in and go, Mr. Trump, I love your hair. That fucking tie is tremendous. I think you're the greatest thing that ever walked the earth and he's gonna he's gonna give you the job you gotta play up to him i like him as a president but yeah he's got a shitty personality but uh so do i yes i see that guys it's not my first day on radio i can see that the lines are full i'm gonna fucking talk

and then i'll go to the phones okay did my wife tell you say excuse me we've already flinging flea feces at each other it's only the first day yeah i don't know who built this mouse but i want to cave their head in it doesn't there's no i love there's no anyways let's go to uh dale in new jersey dale uh looks familiar from the serious show dale what's going on Dale in New Jersey. Dale looks familiar from the series show. Dale, what's going on? Nick, welcome back.

They replaced you with some comedy gold over there at Sirius, let me tell you. Who replaced me? Some guy with an accent who has some bipolar actress on all the time. I don't know. Oh, that was Craig Ferguson, I think. Yeah, it's Ferguson and another guy who seems to be into MMA. But yeah, it was good. Now, Ferguson's gone, and that guy's in your time slot.

It was great. Good money well spent on Sirius. Yeah, well, hey, I said to look. Hold on, hold on. I just want to comment on that. The guy that helped me get the job over there, he worked for Comedy Central. I've known him for a long time. And I said to him, hey, it's your fucking loss.

And you know what he said? Yeah, I know you're right. So they've been graceful. It wasn't the guys I know. There's a few guys I like. They didn't make the final call. But either way, it was because of my politics. And that's wrong. God damn it.

Go ahead, Dale. But it hurt. But anyway, how about this? You got Trump. you think they officially left lost their mind trump's in korea i think there's literally people who wanted to commit suicide and um so they double down on this immigration which is like everything else happens with trump when you think oh they have something you really notice that whole border thing it's kind of dying down not really a big deal as it was two weeks ago. Now all they have left is attack the Republicans when you see them in public.

It's like they've literally lost their fucking minds. Well, you made a great point because a couple weeks ago, the last few weeks was all that, ooh, separating children from their families. That's what Trump is for. That was going crazy for, what, two, three weeks we kept seeing. And by the way separating parents kids from their parents if you don't want to separate breakup families don't put your kids on the top of a fucking train in nicaragua and say see you in the america in a couple months

i mean that's where it starts but you know what you make a great point dale because that went on for months on the news and then it died down and trump gained 10 points among hispanics after all that shit they threw at him and all that footage on the mainstream media of kids crying and uh and that fake cover of time magazine trump towering over that little girl i gotta hand it to the left i i they make me belly laugh fucking but trump's numbers went up 10 points with Hispanics after all that so what else are they going to throw at him nah get fucked

he's doing everything I wanted him as a president and more and thank god that we got you and because Cumia was alone out there for a couple of months Anthony can handle himself believe me he's a one man wrecking crew and go ahead real quick thing Anthony can handle himself. Believe me, he's a one-man wrecking crew. And go ahead.

And just a real quick thing. When the last time you were on the Kumia show, the funniest thing I ever heard on TV is when they talk at Starbucks and the quote of tell Melanie to go fuck herself. I could replay that 10 times for a while. Melanie, she's the one that wrote the whole we have to be diverse. And it was a little cute.

What was the cute rhyme she had? Do you remember? She had a rhyme in there. No, no. It was something about being color brave. And you're like, I'll give you a fucking color brave. Genius. Instead of being color blind, be color brave. And I said, hey Melanie, go fuck yourself.

Which I know isn't the most intelligent response, but that's what that type of horseshit deserves. It's tugging on the heartstrings. And by the way, Starbucks closed, what, 150 stores since that? I'm telling you, they're confused. Hey, Dale, good to hear from you, buddy. You too, brother. Welcome back.

Thank you, man. Appreciate it. Don't be colorblind. Be colorbrave, she said from an all-white neighborhood, probably in the suburbs of San Francisco. I didn't mention our two tech guys. I mentioned Jay, who set all this up. And I think actually him and my wife played around. He was here so much. But we got Ryan and we have Jason, Two guys right out of Central Casting.

If you want tech guys, you add the weights up together, they're about 212. Together. 106 grams apiece. After lunch. After lunch. That's right, Jay. Right before it's about a buck and a quarter apiece. They are.

That's what I said before they got here. Anyways, Jason shows up for us. We found him on some porn chat room. He's trying to pick up a Filipino girl tied to a radiator. He is a Filipino girl. So he shows up. Jason shows up. And we're showing him the works and stuff.

And he was here 10 minutes early, like a smart white kid would be. And he's here 10 minutes early like a smart white kid would be and uh and and he's here about an hour so i say to him i go don't you have somebody a friend your age that knows all this shit too and he goes yeah actually i do he picks up his phone calls his buddy his buddy ryan shows up an hour later who again they were roommates in college and shit. So they have a chemistry. Look at them. I mean, they're threatening. They provide security here at the house, too.

But they show up. Of course, they take this shit to like a duck to water because they've been playing with this stuff since they were six. And we were getting nervous. I'll be honest with you. We were getting nervous. And they just flew in like nerd angels. They had a mouse in one hand, a MacBook pro in the other and they just landed here and uh it's it's that that was like a home run that day

and uh yes uh jay you have something to add she's showing off the uh jay's looking good looking young man here jay's looking jesus she's. Let me tell you how creepy that was. First of all, you're in a glass booth with them, and you look like Sandusky, okay? You're trapped with two teenage boys. You missed a big one, though. What? The glue in this operation.

Who? The Energizer bunny you call your wife. Yes, absolutely. But she doesn't want to be part of the show there she is right back there waving at you right what she's doing on her knees anyways what what kind of by the way patreon is working now let's give them a thumbs up they're they're they're only where i get paid. So, that air conditioner. I don't know if it's on or off. I had two cups of coffee. Can you

tell before I came on the air? The phones are fucking lit up. This is like being it serious. I got to put these on. I'm like Mike Francesa. A dog? No, no. The Yankees? I'm telling you. Let's go to Balls in Elwood City.

That sounds fake. Hey, Balls. Balls. Hey, Nick. How you doing, buddy? What up, brother man? Hey. Oh, not much, Mick.

First off, I want to say congratulations on your new show. I've always been a fan of your work, man. I think you're a funny motherfucker. I've always loved you. You know, coming from a guy named Balls, I'll tell you, I'll take that one. I just wanted to ask you real quick. Have you ever suffered any sort

of sexual injuries? What do you mean, recently? I mean, ever. I mean, I ripped my pee hole once. I jerked off so much. But I wondered if you had any similar stories. I'm glad we're staying with the topics. That's good.

We go from abolishing ice to abolishing the head of my cock. No, I can't. Well, once I was riding a bike with no seat on it, and I just had a swimsuit on, and I hit a pothole. But that's it. That's all I can remember, Balls. What happened? Seriously?

Oh, you mean, no. When I was younger, I masturbated frequently. It was one of those things where it got dry, and then it got to the end, but I was almost done. So I tried to finish, and then when I finished, I ended up ripping my peel. It was like when you put a hot dog in the microwave too long, and it just kind of split right down the top, you know what I mean? Uh-oh, retard alert.

Retard alert. Thank you for the call, Balls. I appreciate that. And always use lube or olive oil. I like corn oil, actually. But take care of yourselves, alright? You scare me. What the fuck? Was he even listening to the show?

Talking about the next Supreme Court justice. You know, I ripped my pee hole open. He calls himself Balls and then he talks about his pee hole. It's confusing. He's got hands of stone. Manos de piedra, whatever the term is. Should get Mark in San Diego.

888-599-6425 is the phone number. This is a call-driven show, folks, if you're not familiar with it. We'll have guests from time to time. But this is a place for guys like us who, you know, are not welcome at comedy clubs anymore. No, not, you know, mainstream show business shuns us or whatever. But this is a call-driven show, giving voices to the people who don't get spoken for in the mainstream media that often. And that's why. It's like I always describe the show like this.

It's like you're at a bar with your friends talking politics, and there's one guy that reads a few more papers than the others. That would be me. I'm not going to tell you which papers. Let's go to our buddy Bill in North Carolina. Billy boy, what's going on? Hi. How are you doing, Bill? Bring that energy.

Can you hear me? Yes, I can. Yeah, I'm doing okay. All right. So, the YouTube streams, are they going to only be on Mondays? The free shows are on Mondays and Wednesdays. Yeah. And they'll be on YouTube.

They'll be on YouTube. How do you think YouTube's going to feel about this? I don't give a fuck. No, I don't know. I mean, they're very left-wing. Yeah, well, who isn't? You know, I'll have to get my own server. I'm building my own server in the garage.

I'll go to Anthony Comey and... Well, I know I... No, it's a good question. I just feel like you've toned things down a little bit. I've toned things down? It's the... I haven't been on the... Fucking, I haven't been on the air for an hour yet. Don't worry.

I'm just getting warmed up, Bill. Yeah, I want to see you angry. I want to see you get mad. There's going to be so much time for that, Bill. I'll tell you. I'll be losing my stack. Like you just said. Welcome back.

It's good to see you back. You want me to pull one of these? We'll do it live. Okay. We'll do it live. Fuck it. Do it live. I'll write it and we'll do it live.

That'll be me, I'd say, by Thursday. Fucking thing sucks. That's me yelling at my computer. I love you, man. I've been watching you since your first Redskins podcast over on Riotcast. Redskins podcast? What are you talking about? Redskins? Yeah, no,

that's what you named it, the Redskins. Oh, the first episode. Wow, that's a long time ago. Yes. I mean, that was like in 2000. Well, you know what? Yeah, I gotta listen to you every day, man I appreciate it, Billy, so keep calling

And you got my support Take care Love North Carolina Love it So, uh I don't know, do I even bother with the stories? Uh Kellyanne Conway getting yelled at everybody that works

for trump takes a beating when they leave the house it's unbelievable um i should have brought this up and mark from san diego called this was uh on the morning of july 6th the u.s department of labor's bureau of labor statistics announced that his unemployment in the U.S. had reached its lowest level, 4.6%, in the 45 years since the agency kept records. Also, black unemployment at record lows. Women unemployment at, like, 60-year low and stuff. But the Hispanic thing is important because Telemundo and Univision, they didn't bring it up. They didn't bring it up at all on their newscast.

Guess who? They're sister stations with NBC. So that shouldn't fucking surprise you. Also, along with their lesser known rivals, Azteca, America, and Estrella TV, they all kept silent about the record low and its significance for the country's Latino population. And specifically

during the milestone month of June 2018, a net 164,000 Hispanics entered the U.S. workforce. Showed up in four cars. Hello, folks. I could hear the liberal jerk off.

That's such a, that's racist a that's racist that's been done before i know and i'm going to do it again as long as it bothers you when it stops bothering you i'll stop saying shit like that but the point is univision and telemundo didn't mention it in their broadcast why because they don't want hispanics voting for Trump in 2020. And like Colin Quincy, Trump could have played it better with the Hispanics because they are. I love the Latinos because they are like the Italians at the turn of the century. They're hardworking, religious people. And you got to get them on your side. They're family oriented.

religious people, and you got to get them on your side. They're family-oriented. And every time you see a list of people dying, like in Afghanistan and Iraq, there's a ton of Hispanic names in there. So you got to lock them up. They're good, hardworking people, okay? Not all of them. Some of them are rapists, but there's rapists in every race. Trump said that while he was running and still

still one what does that tell you Hillary you thick-ankled dog face he's still one talking that type of stuff motherless fucks I hate these glasses I'd rather cancer than fucking my eyes go in bed. This is... I'm sure that's coming. I am jonesing for a cigarette right now like you wouldn't believe. Eventually, I can smoke in here because this is my studio. I'll trash it.

Let's go to the phones again. I mean, you know. And this mouse, whoever designed this, they'll be decapitated after this. Ben in England. Ben in England. It doesn't say New England. It says England. Ben, how are you? Alright.

Oh! How the fuck you doing? I guess you're from what a Brutsy in the UK what's up you sound like Tony Soprano on speed alright

how you doing Nick greetings from Great Britain. I just wanted to say congratulations on your new show. And yeah, your president there, the big man himself, is coming over our shores. And you might like to look this one up. So the lefties over here have decided to get their own back and protest and they've crowdfunded about $25,000 to create this big inflatable orange Donald Trump

in a baby's diaper and shit. That's a big gesture. $25,000 they spunked on this fucking floor. Ben, is that the blimp that your mayor said is okay to fly while he's there? Is that what you're talking about? Yes. Yes, that's what you're talking about? Yes.

Yeah. Yes, that's what we're talking about. I mean, that's what I'm trying to stick my finger up at Trump. Do you really think Donald Trump is going to go, oh my God, I can't believe these guys have made a big inflatable balloon that's going to stop me from fucking my supermodel wife when I go back to my house that's made of solid gold?

Does he really give a shit? Really? Ben, you got some good range. You went from Tony Soprano to Donald Trump. Yeah, your mayor, what's his name, Khan? Yeah, Sadiq Khan, which is actually Muslim for sad cunt. I love it. This is our first call from overseas overseas and it might be my favorite call of the day yeah so they're gonna fly this this blimp and you know that's not gonna bother Trump

first of all he's gonna love it the fact that there's a blimp shaped like him and it looks like him is that it we're looking at it right now on screen yeah oh my yeah yeah that's it it looks like uh Kirsten Gillibrand the broad running for senator in New York. That looks like an angry lesbian is what that looks like. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Yeah. It looks like something a homosexual might place inside of his anus. Oh, for the love of Pete, Ben, you were doing so well.

It sounds like a good plug, don't you think? So a lot of goings on in your country. I guess Boris Johnson just quit right after David Davis, the secretary of Brexit. So Miss May is in trouble over there. Isn't she that fucking idiot? Yeah. Well, the thing is, though, Nicky, what you've got to realize is, like, Theresa May never wanted Brexit. She went in after David Cameron stood down. And this is

a, she's not a conservative. This is a feminist who went to school with Angela Merkel who wears Frida Kahlo bracelets and those shirts. This is what a feminist looks like. She's been dragging her fucking knees over Brexit for ages and hopefully now that some of the cabinet

beneath her are standing out, we'll get someone else in who can actually push it through and make good of this fucking situation I'm laughing we got a British accent we got a Tony Soprano he's doing a Trump this you're all world man we're gonna have to make your regular part of the show but yeah so I like it I like that Boris Johnson he looks like the Italian version of Trump. I mean, the English version. Yeah, he's kind of like that. Trump has that sort of working class grit in him,

even though he was raised, obviously, pretty rich. But Boris Johnson, he's kind of bumbling, and he does speak a bit off the cuff. The guy I really like, though, is this guy called Jacob Lees-Mogg. He looks like he's from the Tinker Soldier Spy or something. But the guy speaks a lot of sense and he's one of the only

small government free marketeers in fucking British politics. So if I'm going to give him a bit of Nigel Farage, then fucking two thumbs up from me. I love Farage. He looks like a puppet. But I love what he has to say all the time. And, yeah, good luck with that.

I hope you make a clean break from the EU because I know that was the issue. But I don't want to get into the weeds here on the first show. But call back, Ben. That was terrific. Well, God bless you, Nicky. I love you. Same here, brother. Thanks.

How about it? Ben. Ben from England. I thought it was Joe Matariz. I got to be honest. Joe Matariz does the killer Tony Soprano, and he can do Trump. And we'll have Joey. He lives up in the area somewhere, so we'll have him on from time to time, I'm sure.

He's doing something with Dr. Keith Abloh, by the way. A psychologist who I see on national TV all the time. So good luck, Joey. 888-599-NICK is the phone number. So yeah, I was talking about the record low Hispanic unemployment. And then tell him they're in the bag too. Is there anybody in the media that's not in the fucking bag? Anybody. Other than the obvious.

What do you mean by that? By the way, I like to watch now. I watch that One America News. Have you seen the anchor women on there? They make the girls on Fox look like a leper colony. Of course, I exaggerate. But both channels, it's like a beauty pageant. It's crazy.

So you've got Fox News, One America News, Newsmax. That's about it as far as television goes. And then the rest of it, ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC, New York Times, LA Times, fucking Time Magazine. It's just all the same left-wing horseshit. And they're going to get their asses handed to them come the midterms, I think. Unless, you know, you're for abolishing law and order.

Have you seen pictures from San Francisco lately? Hey, pull up that picture of the Abolish ICE thing. I think we had a picture. I was expecting it to be a nice organized thing. When you guys, anytime you're ready. All right, good. Let's go to Rob in Knoxville. Rob, what's happening?

Hi, Rob. This is the tech support. What's that? Hey, I got my dick stuck in my laptop. Is this even a tech support phone number? Ah, okay. Rob, can you take yourself off speakerphone? I'm just kidding.

Take yourself off speakerphone, will you? Oh, sorry. Jesus Christ. Can you hear me better now? Oh, sorry. Jesus Christ. Can you hear me better now? Oh, that's better. Now you just sound like you're under two feet of water. There you go. That's better.

Oh, okay. Sorry. Yeah, by the way, you have the nicest cold screener in the world, Nick. Yes, we only hire the best here. He's a really nice guy. Yeah, I noticed, man. I wanted to ask you about your appearance on this podcast. It was called The Hole. What was the name of the podcast? I think it was The Hole, right?

H-O-L-E. It was with, like, I think Dave Attell was on there and, like, a bunch of other people. Oh, yes, yes. That's Rob Sprantz's podcast. Yes. Right. Right, man. bunch of other people oh yes yes that's rob sprance's uh podcast yes right you're right man and uh obviously you're great on it and i've been a fan for a long time literally i think it's like a company central special i think for 30 minutes special like when i was counter 12 or something so um you were glaring i've been following you for a while

but obviously as the world has gotten more political and, you know, as Hollywood moves ever more to the left, you know, and after the shit that happened with U.S. Sirius, like,

you seem to still interact with a lot of comedians and you look like you do well in terms of, like, you know, your friendship with them. Yeah.

But I noticed little, like, quips that they make at you, right? Like, I remember when you were on that they make at you right like I remember when you're on the whole podcast which was what was I were what I was referring to yeah you know cracking some jokes about left fingers and some guys on there set up you know you were saying that you know the problem is on

the left right now can you name anything on the right and I think some guy you know had a smart-ass remark saying like oh you know the right is too busy getting nailed for sexual assault or something, right? Or, like, sexual harassment. And it looked like a really easy comeback for you, because I know, obviously, you're aware of the litany of the allegations against every left-wing feminist. Of course. Right. Right. So it's just, I remember you kind of passed by at the moment and actually commented on that podcast

where I got a bunch of likes saying, you know, like, I love how the guy said, you know, the right is too busy, you know, getting, you know. So let me get, let me, Rob,

let me get this. So the purpose of your call was to point out I missed a job on a podcast that 10 people heard? The purpose was sometimes you're very quick. You're very quick-witted, right? Well, yes, but... My question is, do you have to curve your jokes sometimes in order to not...

No. ...ride the feathers of people that you know are good friends no no no no no never fucking never that's not it no if if i miss one like if i you know if i miss one it's not intentional if i see an opening i'll drive a truck through it that's what comics do yeah i mean the very dna of a comedian is to say something that you do well that's what i do yeah i just maybe i was asleep at the switch on that one whatever i wasn't paying i gotta been staring at rob sprance he's a very handsome guy you know i don't yeah man all right uh is there any uh appearances you might make on serious by the way in the future on jim and sam or is it like an anthony cumia deal where

you can't go back or uh right now right right now, there's probably a probationary period, but I'm still on good terms over there. I called into Bennington a few weeks ago. I did that. I didn't ask anybody. Right, I heard that, man. That was awesome. Yeah, so I called in, and I asked Jimmy Norton last night

if I could call in, and they had to check it with some of the higher-ups, I guess. But I had already called into Bennington. Eventually, like I said, I'm not on hateful terms. I'm pissed at what they did, but I'm not going to badmouth them. Hey, thanks for the call. I appreciate it, Rob. Good hearing from you, buddy.

Yeah, buddy. Thank you. Take it easy. Alrighty then. More coffee, please. Jason? Let me ask you a question in the booth. Is everything streaming to where it's supposed to stream to?

Jay? I believe so. Is it really? I believe so. How far into the show? You might not know this. Before we kicked into Patreon. It might have been like five minutes. That's it.

So for the first show, pretty good. Not bad. Not bad at all. We've got to treat Patreon good because they're a place where artists go to make money, God forbid, here in the People's Republic of America. And, yeah. We had over, let me get this, folks. We had over 400 subscriptions before I came on the air for this first show. And it's got nothing to do with me.

You know what that tells you? People need a place to go and talk like this. And to, you know, not everybody, obviously. But that was very encouraging. I've got to be honest with you. Because when we first started, June 28th, I think I opened a Patreon account. And I remember saying to my wife, do you think I'll get like 100 subs before the first show? And we had no idea.

So it's a good thing. And go to nickdip.com, by the way. That's where the landing place of the show is. And you can listen to the audio. We're streaming the audio live on Mixler. You'll see a player for that. And then there's a YouTube player if you want to watch like you are now. So it's pretty cool stuff, I'll tell you.

And thank God for Jay. Jay, how do you say your last name? I've been in your house for a month. It's Romanello. Romanello. I always want to say Morinello. But Jay, Romanello. Let's go to Peter in Austin, Texas.

Pete, how are you? Hey, Nick, what's going on? Not much. What's going on with you, Pete, in the great state of Texas, which I love? It's almost like it's America still in Texas. Oh, yeah, yeah, no doubt. That's kind of the reason why I moved from old math about five years ago. Best decision of my life.

But anyway, yeah, you know, I'm such a huge fan. I'm glad to see you're still alive and kicking on this new format. And, you know, I was fucking pissed as hell when I heard about that feminist cunt, whoever she was, knocked you right in the face. And so I wanted to say, you know, you need to do some, you need to bring your tour down here to the great state of Texas. You know?

Fat chance of that happening. No, no, no, no. Absolutely. Look, I used to play Addison, Texas, right outside of Dallas, the improv, a couple times a year, and it would be packed out. So you're absolutely right, but I don't want to go down there until I know the venue is going to be fairly full. So that's what this is going to do, hopefully. But Texas, I played Houston for years, and like I said, Addison, Texas, and San Antonio.

I used to play this place in the mall in san antonio right on the riverwalk it would be 103 degrees like on a tuesday i almost thought i was going to quit comedy then and that was 15 years ago it was just so lonely i'm sitting in a place called i'm sitting in a place called dicks being yelled at by a waiter at two in the afternoon uh then i used to watch kids shoplift at that mall in San Antonio. Every time I went there, there'd be kids running away with something. One of my favorite gigs. How long ago was that?

Oh, Christ. The early 1700s. But it was after chlamydia. I remember getting chlamydia from a girl that worked at the Foot Locker. Well, now, especially because I'm not the only mass transplant down here, especially in Austin. There's tons of people down here. We have a Patriots bar down here where it's basically you go in there

and you feel like you're in fucking Southie again, basically. So I think you'd have a pretty good audience here, too. Just whenever I go look at your tour, I'm always pissed because I only see dates for New York and Mass. No, I know,ete damn no pete you make it you make a legitimate point man i uh for the last few years i haven't done look i've been doing this 30 fucking years okay and uh i i'm tired of airports i'm tired of fucking hotels i'm tired of you know it's just fucking patrice o'neill the late great patrice he I remember I go Patrice

I said to Patrice you never do the road and he goes he looks at me with those big eyes he goes I'm lonely Nick I'm fucking lonely at home

I ain't gonna go on a motherfucking road and you know what I felt the same way it was fun when you're single and chasing you know

diseased waitresses and shit and you find a Kocheck girl with a limp and a fucking slight hair lip that nobody, you know. But those days are over. But if this show does what I think it's going to do, I'll be to Texas with bells on, man. So I hope to see you. Oh, yeah. And tell Anthony to get his ass down here, too.

There's tons of, plenty of guns for him to have a good time with as well. What's he going to do? Go to Texas to shoot guns? He can do that in Long Island right on the highway. Yeah. Well, yeah. All right, Pete. Take it easy.

He makes a legitimate point. I'll be honest, folks. I fucking hate the road. I hated it when I liked it. But, you know, you know what cures that? Nice full houses. But I just did this Nick is Right tour

this spring. Me and Andy Fiore, my old producer at Sirius, we did, you know, what was it? All of March, April, and the first two weeks of May, every weekend, and that's after doing four nights of radio, so it was six nights a week, so I, you know, I took a little time off, but like I said, if you find the right venues, I want to get out of the clubs, we did nothing but theaters on that tour, and that's the way it has

to be, one show, people paying decent money to see you, it makes such that tour, and that's the way it has to be. One show, people paying decent money to see you. It makes such a difference, and that's not the poo-poo on comedy clubs. By the way, I'm going to be at the Fat Black Pussycat later on this month, the 25th and the 28th. The dates are up at nickdip.com or wherever, but that's here in the city. In the fall, I'm going to be in the Phoenix and Flagstaff area. So I'm going to get out there again. I need the dough, folks. I'm not going to fucking lie to you.

This tie, 11 bucks at Target. The shirt, half that. It's a true story. Oh, this fucking mouse. Oh, help me. I just moved a cunt hair and the thing is flying all over. Let's go to Nick in Detroit.

You can probably hear some gunfire in the background. Nick, how are you? Nicky boy! Oh, easy tiger, easy. Jesus Christ, my good... Nicky, you let the... I miss you, buddy. You let the globalists get you, pal.

I let the globalists what? You let the globalists get you. Yes, I did. Well, look, it was unbelievable. What are you talking about, the incident? I'm talking about the firing and the incident. They're out there. They got your number.

They're coming after you. That's like a free speech. You know what, Nick? You make a great point. But I wear like a badge of honor. Let me tell you something. If you don't get canned from a radio show, that means you're not talking about anything. Fucking, that's how I'm trying to justify my firing.

And, uh, but you're But you make a good point. You've got to do it somehow. And then I get sucker punched by a girl in Birkenstocks right out of, she could have been the poster girl for Occupy Wall Street, and her and a dabbered cohoat. I'm going to keep pursuing that, Nick. So we've got to make an example of some of these psychos. I wish I was 25 again.

You know what, Nick? Go ahead. In any other situation I would I would feel like it's wrong to press charges or anything like that

but you know what fuck that bitch you're 100% right to go after her screw her yeah I think she's fucking she's just another

spoiled leftist who thinks she can do and say whatever the fuck she wants when it when it conflicts her ideology so fuck her

yeah it's not even they don't even have to be political it's in their DNA she's 20 years old or whatever but it's not even, they don't even have to be political. It's in their DNA. She's 20 years old or whatever, but it's in their DNA. I remember right after she hit me, I go, why'd you do that? She goes, because you're mean.

That's how she justified it. Hey, did we lose a picture? Something? On YouTube or whatever? Maybe. I'm back. Good. So how you doing, Nick, in Detroit?

What's going on? I'm doing good, Nicky, man. I'm just calling to tell you I'm a patron. I'm checking in with you. I'm glad the voice of reason is back. Us patriots out here have lost the voice of reason, and I'm glad you're back. Like I said, I'm glad I have an outlet to express myself. You know, I'm taking a beating in these freaking comedy clubs. Oh, how's that? I miss you and I love you. Same here, man. How's that going, the comedy, real quickly?

How's it going for you? It's going, Nicky. You know, like I said, it's tough. You know, I don't take a political stand, but I am, especially out here, Ann Arbor, Detroit, it's a lot of lefties, and, like, even my political opinion, or my opinion, period, means right, so they don't exactly, they're not too accepting of it. I mean, I get laughs, don't get me wrong, but, you know. Right. I don't know. All right, well, just keep your chin up.

I will, buddy. I appreciate it. I'm glad you're back, buddy. Talk to you later. Thanks. All right, buddy. I appreciate it. I'm glad you're back, buddy. Talk to you later. Thanks. All right, bye. That's Nick in Detroit who is a regular caller on the Serious Show. And I want to say Muslim unless I'm confusing him with a –

maybe I'm just saying that because it's Detroit. I forget. But a regular caller. And he just tried to – and he's like a righty. And he just tried to start doing stand- like a righty and he's just try to start doing standup right when I went off the air. So he was telling me about some of the horror shows, even at open mics.

But I heard it from a lot of young comics, both, uh, male and female. I mean, I'm like open micers who they go to these, uh, they call it bring a nights and,

and, and they say they're just so tired because all it is, is young comics shitting on Trump and dick jokes. I've heard that from like 10 different young comics in the last year and people are tired. How about Seth Meyers show? I think he does. I think Seth Meyers feels responsible for Trump being elected because he was the host of that press dinner the night Obama. Remember they skewed trump

was in the audience um and uh seth seth meyers was the host and and i think that's what a lot of people say that's what stuck in trump's craw and and he's like i'm gonna i'm gonna fucking do something about this so seth meyers show show, the first 20 minutes are just shitting on Trump for 20 fucking minutes every night. It's like somebody at NBC made him the point man. It's relentless. It's just, and it's so tiring. I thought I liked him. Hey, we got a big name on the line, folks.

It's the legend. Hey, we got a big name on the line, folks. It's the legend. He's at the Fat Black Pussycat probably tomorrow night and Wednesday if you're in New York City. And you want to see him master at his craft. Watch him. This guy's so prolific. He has a new 20 minutes every four days.

It makes all of us sick. But the legend, my close friend, Mr. Colin Quinn is on the line. Quinny Boyd. Hey. Let's go. I like that you said that guy Nick, he leans right and he's a Muslim. Yeah. I can imagine his act.

He's like, hey, what about these female drivers? No, seriously. What about these female drivers? We're going to stand for that. What about these what drivers? Female drivers. He's got eight. He's got eight minutes on clitoris mutilation that'll knock the socks off you.

Yeah. Yeah, he's got 11 minutes on the new Moskin Dearborn. He's like, now listen, I took the woman's door. I don't care. I had to pee. By the way, he's got a hook on his hand. Does he really? No, but remember Roger Rittenhouse?

Do you remember Roger Rittenhouse, Colin? Yes. The greatest opening joke of all time. He literally has a prosthetic hook. Not a fake hand, a hook like a pirate. And he would come out and he would go, his first joke would be, petting zoo my ass.

And of course that just blows him wide open. The greatest. Oh my god. The greatest joke. I did a nasty show with him. He had some of the sickest shit ever. Where are you? In the street.

Every time I call, Quinny is never in line. I'm on Fulton and Gold. Okay, you don't have to get that specific. I'm not going to meet you later. Fulton and Gold? That's near your apartment. What the local fans would want to know about it. That's near your apartment.

What are you doing on the street? It's on the other side of City Hall. It's on the other side of City Hall with the great Mayor de Blasio. It's probably right there. Mayor de Blasio, huh? How about that? What do you... The great Bill de Blasio.

Louie loves him. Let me ask you a question. You're a New Yorker, a native New Yorker. How about that Alexandria Cortez, that Democratic Socialist broad that beat Joe Crowley? And the left is holding her up as like the, she's like a kingmaker now. She's about 14 years old. Right, right, right. So. Exactly.

Where do you think that's going? Yeah. I think it's going to, I mean, where you'll have, they'll probably just try to promote it. That's the thing. The scary thing is whenever it's a female like that, you know they have none

of those sex scandals the way guys do. You can actually see them going all the way to the top. You know what I mean? Whenever there's a guy, you're like, oh, he'll get taken down. You know what I mean? That's actually a great point. You know? That used to be true.

That used to be true, unless she taught high school in Florida. She might have molested one of her 14-year-old male students. Yeah, I think it's more of a, I mean, everybody's like, oh, Florida's sick, but it's a tribute to the looks of the kids in Florida. They're all very good looking because, you know, a tan gives you like, you know, just gives you a glow.

But it's the teachers who are good looking. I mean, I would have never want to have been fucking blown by any of my teachers. Except for Mr. French. He had a nice physique. No, I never had a sexual fantasy about any of my teachers. They were all very scraggly. How about the ones in Florida? They all had loose skin and they were only 20 back in those days, you know?

Yeah. Yeah, the one in Florida is gorgeous. I mean, their mug shots look like head shots. They look like, you know, glamour shots. You know? And you're like, really? This 14-year-old got fucking banged by this chick? Can somebody tell me where the problem is?

Oh, that guy's, that kid's life will never be the same. Yeah, you got that right. He won't be able to go to the mall without signing 400 autographs next Friday night. Exactly. Yeah, you're right.. He won't be able to go to the mall without signing 400 autographs next Friday night. Exactly. You're right. They have the best mug shots. I'd like to hire the hair and makeup person from the Dade County Correctional Facility. We're doing a Netflix special.

It's the same people that did a shannon breams here at fox um all right quinnie uh you know this is why colin quinn's the best he's got he's got much more important shit to do but he calls it because he knew it was my first show and uh this is why he is uh wish you good luck in your endeavor seeing seeing as how it doesn't interfere with my business. Yes, I mean, it makes no difference what a man does for a living. Here you go. I want all of you to enjoy your cake. So, enjoy.

All right, Quinny. Listen, I want to make it official. I put in at the Underground for not this week, but the following Tuesday and Wednesday at the Underground. So I will come down and watch some of your impressions. Yeah, come on. I'm opening. I'm doing Boris Johnson. And I close with a Michelle Wolfe impression.

All right, Colin. I got to wrap it up. All right. Thank you. I'll see you later. All right. Bye. Who's better than that guy?

Who? Who? Nobody. Nobody. I'm going to take a couple more. We're going to wrap this up because I don't want to give you guys the impression that I'm going to do two hours a night because, I mean, that might happen sometime. But I still am a working comic.

And, you know, I don't know that 6 p.m. will be the permanent. It will be for a little while, but I don't know if it's going to be the permanent thing because I live over an hour out of the city. And I want to go in and get back. I got to get myself back into stand-up. I got to get my chops back. And, you know what I'm saying? So let's take a couple more before we wrap it up. And again, thank you all who subscribed at patreon.com

and went to nickdip.com tonight and called in. It's been a huge success, folks. Tremendous. And by the way, Trump just picked Judy Scheindler. We just have that in? Judy Scheindler? Jason Soyoung and Ryan, they're looking around. They didn't know that was Judge Judy I was talking about.

They're like, did he really make the fucking pick? Let's go to Buddy Jordan in Canada. It's an international show, folks. England, Canada, Brooklyn. Jordan, how are you? Hey, yes. Hi there. My name's Jordan Peterson.

I'm the professor of Canada. I like Jordan Peterson. I just wanted to call and, yeah, I wanted to add some celebrity to your show. You know, since you're getting punched by these liberal whores and persecuted and you're losing your job because of tweets. Yes.

I mean, it's compelled speech. It's what kind of speech? It's compelled speech. You know, they say, like, you can't call them shanties, but, like, the preferred word is dumpster fire. That's what I call them. All right, thanks for the call, Jordan.

Good to hear from Canada. Yuck. Fucking guy made me sick to my stomach, didn't he? Bye-bye, dickhead. All right, a couple more, and then I'll go upstairs and make a pot roast let's go to let's go to brendan currently on line one brendan what's going on real quick what's up buddy how are you pretty good i've been holding a piss for about 45 minutes what's up

all right i'm gonna be quick pal welcome back i've been holding a piss for about 45 minutes. What's up? All right. I'm going to be quick, pal. Welcome back. I've been looking forward to this day for a long time. Glad you're back. Are you calling Whistler? I just wanted to say two things. I'm in Whistler now, yeah. Okay.

Two quick things. Your first day back and also the Supreme Court nominee release day, it's got to be a sign, right? It's a great day. That's what somebody else said. I think you're right. You know, it's got to be. It's got to be. And the second thing is, real quick, I don't know if you saw Mr. Trump's tweet last night,

but he tweeted out a video which was a compilation of all the Democrats losing their minds on election night. It's like a four-minute video, and if you didn't see it, it's great. Yeah, somebody tweeted it to me, and I haven't looked at it yet. Oh, it's a riot. He is relentless, and I love it. Can you imagine they were trying to talk him out of not using Twitter, even some of his people in his own administration?

Do you understand when he can't go through the mainstream media because they've been trying to get rid of him since he showed up, since he got nominated? So, I mean, he has used Twitter. Can you imagine reading the history books 1,500 years from now? He's the tweet president or whatever. But he has used that so effectively, and it's the only way he can get his message out there unfiltered. It's a perfect tool.

It really is, and he uses it perfectly, and he's relentless to people. Oh, he could tone it down. Fuck that. We've been biting our tongues for 40 years. Let it fly every chance you get, Mr. President. That's what I say. How about them Red Sox, Brendan? I love every second of them.

Five in a row, pal. Yeah, baby. All right. I'll talk to you again. Keep calling. Good to hear from you. Last call of the day, folks, before I got to go. Let's go to Zach in Pittsburgh.

A regular, again, another regular guy on the Sirius radio show. And a comedian, I believe. Zach from Pittsburgh. What's up, buddy? Good to talk to you again there, Nick. And like I said, you know, I'm right here with you. You know, screw SiriusXM, screw councilmen there in Boston and third trip to the buffet feminists and those fat bitches. Screw them all there, man.

I'm with you. And I just signed up on Patreon. Oh, you know what, Zach? I love it. feminists and those fat bitches screw them all there man I'm with you and I just signed up on patreon so oh you know what Zack I love it and real good and real quick to balls there are my friend Mike he's a regular caller on the Stern show he's a good dude you'll get a kick out of this I actually booked him on a show stand-up show because I got him a free pizza, free beer, and 20 bucks to recite one of his lines when Amy Schumer actually called in. This is actually really funny. He told Amy Schumer he'd like to use her panties as a

coffee filter. Not bad, but boy, he stunk it up today when he called in. I'll tell you that much. I'm thinking that's like a bit. I mean, he records all his calls and puts them on social media, so I could kind of tell he was doing a bit. All right, Zach. If someone that's actually... Go ahead. All right, I'd have a go, I'm in.

All right, Zach, talk to you soon. Well, if someone has actually been attacked... Okay, I'll talk to you later. All right. Are we going to keep doing this? Bye. Jesus Christ. Wasn't a career decision. You, I'll talk to you later. All right. Are we going to keep doing this? Bye. Jesus Christ. It wasn't a career decision.

You can either hang up or you don't have to. Well, folks, I'll tell you. I think we've covered. I didn't get to any of the stories, but we talked about my face and the firing gets serious. And hold your breath tonight. I think it's Hardeman only because, again, he's going to be the pick because he works with Trump's sister. That's got to mean something. Or Ketheridge.

One of those two. The broad's out, unfortunately. That is it. What am I forgetting? Anything? We'll be back here tomorrow night, the same time. And right through Thursday. Alright?

Rinse those filthy asses. Talk to you soon. Bye-bye, everybody. ... ... ... ... guitar solo you