The Nick DiPaolo Show - The Nick Di Paolo Show #234

Episode Date: September 30, 2019

Dems hype impeachment, downplay hypocrisy. Biden's Ukraine bind thickens. Everlast gets woke with trans boxer sponsorship.

Welcome to the Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! guitar solo Oh, yeah. Welcome to the show on a Monday. Tell me why I don't like Monday. Because it's fucking Monday, that's why. How are you, folks?

Welcome to the big show. Great weekend in Salt Lake lake city and vegas salt lake city talk about white holy jesus it's like watching uh baby polar bears snort coke in a snowstorm because the whitest cleanest place i've ever been looks like it was like my wife got there with a mop a year before i did and just i couldn't i literally was on the sidewalk looking for a piece of gum a wrapper and shit it's creepy so i spit all over the place but um coming to you live uh as usual folks and uh we'll do it live okay we'll do it live fuck it do it live i can i'll write it and we'll do it live. That's right.

I want all of you to enjoy your cake. So, enjoy. So I'll get to Vegas, which was right after Salt Lake City Friday and Saturday, at my manager Tommy's room, the Comedy Works in Las Vegas. Huge success. It was just, everything was on the house. They were you like, well, they were treating us like we were mobsters in the 50s. It was, I didn't pay for anything. And the guy who runs, the guy that has the gaming license is 36 years old from Britain.

And if you know what that means, when you have the gaming license, you're the guy at the casino. Okay? So, had dinner with him and his wife and a girlfriend. I don't know. I met about eight guys, you know. Two of them caught me looking at the girlfriend's feet, and that was weird. Anyways, shout out. We have a new veto who signed up at the veto level.

That's Michael Niccolo. I actually met this guy. He brought seven people to the show in Vegas. And he had a bald head, a handlebar mustache. He looked like a lesbian from New York City. And nice suit on. I don't know, was it

a denim suit? He was dressed to the nines and couldn't have been nicer. So we thank you for the new veto sign up, Michael. We appreciate that. And we appreciate you bringing all those people out. We have a new sponsor on the show today. This episode of the Nick DiPaolo Show brought to you by mybookie.ag. Look, folks, we're a couple of weeks into football season.

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What is going on uh robert de niro you know look i'm half italian so you know he's always been a hero of mine but the way he's acting now it was more embarrassing this is more embarrassing now than when travolta came out as a fruit cup for the italians that's you know that was like kennedy getting shot fucking travolta's getting massaged and having some fucking male model give him a tug. But what are you going to do? Anyways, De Niro, who's lost his mind completely. Hey, look, I had a line with him in a movie that nobody ever saw. And I met him after the show, and I wanted to love him.

He's been a hero to most people as far as being. But he's just, he's just he's into you know fuckers three meet the fuckers he's he's fucking lost his mind on this week's broadcast of cnn's reliable sources cnn's reliable fucking kidding me denaro criticized donald trump and you know what this is about by the way do you guys know why he hates him so much? This is about a beef over pussy years ago. People in the know in New York, you know, people who know him closely, they all say it. This is a beef about some broad. And I believe it. That's why he can't back up his stuff. Well, we'll play a clip in a second how ignorant De Niro is. But you can tell there's an anger there and it has nothing to do with politics.

De Niro said, I think they have but no choice to have an impeachment inquiry. It has to happen. There's no way around it. You're not even important anymore. If it wasn't for you, CNN, MSNBC, and some other outlets that fucking lie around the clock, The New York Times, The Washington Post. I mean, where are we? Where are we without them? Probably a country that's united.

That's where we are, stupid. Go do Farkas 5. You're making me sick. This is crazy. This is a crazy world. He says, what is going on? This guy is crazy. We've got to get him out.

You've already tried three times to get him out. Apparently the rest of the country feels differently, cheese dick. Boy, do I'm starting to hate this guy. When asked to clarify, De Niro said, possibly medically too. I'm starting to think, I didn't think that before about him being crazy. But now I actually, when I saw him, listen to this, this is what he said. When I saw him out in front of the helicopter waiting to go somewhere and talking endlessly and sweating and sweating and not even. I said, this guy is not even aware of what he's. He can't even finish a sentence.

He should at least ask somebody for a handkerchief or something and dry himself off. There's something very strange about that. That's why we should impeach. God doesn't know when he's sweating or not. He sweats when it's hot out and when he's talking to people on to people on cam i mean we got to get him out of here i think he's got hep c shut your fucking hole here's the clip of the narrow um because i can't believe that they they would actually buy into this craziness this guy is should not be president period and when you say that folks on fox come after you i remember the tony's when he got up there and cursed you watch the tony's pause

fuck him really stealth oh god damn it that was my you watch the tony's brian stelter that was a shock go ahead sorry about that okay well you know this is cable so it's not an fcc violation but it is still a sunday. It's a Sunday morning. Gay guys upset somebody's cursing on a Sunday morning. Meanwhile, he was in a Taiwanese fuck swing 24 hours earlier. It's a Sunday morning. Play it again. I want to hear De Niro.

I fucking interrupted the best part. Go ahead. Because I can't believe that they would actually buy into this craziness. This guy should not be president, period. And when you say that, folks on Fox come after you. I remember the Tonys when he got up there and cursed. A lot of criticism of you. Fuck them.

Okay, well, you know, this is cable. So it's not an FCC violation. But it is still a Sunday morning. It is still a Sunday morning. You know what that means? I suck cock. And I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yum. Did you see De Niro do the Jimmy Conway fingers like he did in Good Fellas? Get it out of here. I don't give a fuck where you get it out of here. But Jimmy, it's on

my mother's credit. Get it the fuck out of here. He slipped into character. That was the most eloquent he was that whole interview. He's upset because Trump's sweat said he had no, and they put him on CNN. And look who he sources. If it wasn't for you, CNN, MSNBC, and other outlets, do you see where they live in their own little bubble? New York City has a strain of liberalism that is just, I can't describe it. You know, it's on par with Los Angeles and San Francisco, but because they think they're the center of the world, New York City is sort of the center of the world, but that doesn't make you right. There's a whole country out there,

zillions of people, 60 million people voted for Trump. But talk about tolerance. We have to get him out of there because we disagree with him. And then he ran off and did, like I said, Fokker nine and uh what's left of his legacy so he's fucking he's really just yeah so they're out uh they're out in full throat wanting impeachment and uh you know pelosi's out there with her her face pulled so her forehead's going to split if she farts. We have some nice footage that somebody put up. It's a little compilation of these Democrats when Bill Clinton was being impeached and how they felt about impeachment.

Do these guys even know that they were recorded, that we had tv and stuff back then they don't take the time like the people who are around them go hey you know this is what you said about the clinton well are we at that point with it that shameless uh pelosi uh we have gerald nadler on here maxine waters who apparently there's a hole in a mental institution she got out out to speak. Steve Scalise posted a flashback. That's the guy who got shot. He might have a reason to put this up. High-profile Democrats decrying Republicans for impeaching Clinton, accusing them of being driven by hatred.

Here's the – I'll stop after each one maybe, but go ahead. We are here today because the Republicans in the House are paralyzed with hatred of President Clinton. And until the Republicans free themselves of this hatred, our country will suffer. They are driven by hatred. They hate Bill and Hillary Clinton so much they will stop at nothing. OK, Maul. Oh, but they got another thought coming. to bring him down.

Oh, but they got another thought coming. That no impeachment should proceed without bipartisan support. It's about a punishment searching for a crime that doesn't exist. An impeachment of a president is an undoing of a national election. And one of the reasons

we all feel so angry about what they are doing is that they are ripping from us, they are ripping asunder our votes. They are telling us that our votes don't count. Pause. Does that sound familiar? What's going on now? They're ripping our votes apart.

They're saying our votes don't count. What the fuck are you doing? What is it, because you lost 300 pounds? You can change your point of view? Even Jesse Jackson's staring. Look at this white fat fuck what an embarrassment look at nadler he put on 10 pounds every time he lied back then just a piece of fucking keep going yeah best for last the american people don't think that they have made a mistake by electing Bill Clinton. And we in Congress had better be very careful before we upset their decision

and make darn sure that we are able to convince them if we decide to upset their decision that our decision to impeach him was based upon principle and not politics you fucking hypocrite what are we doing what's going on right now not a moral compass amongst them just uh they you know trump should just play that on a loop when he goes on his rallies and 20 000 people and and and fox should play it too and uh how dare they as my favorite little 16 year old girl how dare they trump should be re-elected no problem how dare you so they're full of shit and that just proves it. And then Giuliani's out there who I have, look, I absolutely

love this guy. I actually met him, took a picture with him on St. Patrick's Day in Gracie Mansion and, but the picture, we never found it because I sort of got in there because of Colin Quinn so nobody knew who I was and they probably said, we can't put this out there.

Have you seen this guy's act? We don't know if he's a drug dealer or a comic. So I never got the picture. But, you know, I love Giuliani because he cleaned up New York City in five minutes, did everything that de Blasio is undoing now, and he's still sharp as a tack. I will admit he's crazy as a shithouse rat, but he won't be pushed around during these interviews. Every time he goes on these Sunday morning shows, they try to take him in another direction, and Giuliani's not having it. He goes, look, I took on the

goddamn mob. I cleaned up the Fulton Fish Market in New York. Think I'm afraid of you? Fucking Wolf Blitzer, you big bitch. So yeah, Giuliani was making the rounds. I know a thing or two about a thing or two. He was defending his investigation of Democrats, including Joe Biden in Ukraine, while pointing a finger at the Obama administration and its potential involvement in corruption. He said, my role is very simple.

I'm a lawyer defending a client. That is very mafioso. If you guys haven't seen Gaudi, the movie on HBO in the 80s,s please this is just what it's like john gaudy used to you know get busted for something go to trial and of course they had paid off some of the jurors but he would win he was like trump he keep winning but that is his attorney would wake up next morning going they're coming at you again he's like these motherfuckers won't let me breathe. That's Trump. And Giuliani is his, he says, Giuliani said, if you can prove that somebody else did it,

or there's some other explanation for it, then you pursue that vigorously. During a July 25th phone call, Trump made reference to the cybersecurity firm CrowdStrike, which had investigated the hacking of the DNC committee's computers during the 2016 campaign. But listen to this. They did not turn over the server to the FBI. Think that's fishy? Trump indicated that the server could be presently in Ukraine. Okay, so Biden's over there, his kid sitting on an energy board, getting paid $600,000 a year. And Trump wants to know if that's corruption or not. Has the balls to ask. And this is what they're basing the impeachment on.

You guys also read the transcript. He didn't strong arm anybody. This is just politics. Here's Giuliani on this Sunday morning show. And beyond that, the pattern is a pattern of pay for play. It includes something very similar to what happened with the Clinton Foundation, which goes to the very core of what did Obama know and when did he know it? In December of 2015, The New York Times wrote an article scathing criticism of Biden for putting his son in this conflicted position and compromising his

ability to deal with corruption, which, by the way, should be a concern of a future president. Question is, when Biden and Obama saw that article about how the son was pulling down money from the most crooked oligarch in Russia, did Obama call Biden in and say, Joe, how could you be doing this? Yeah, shut up. I have more and say, Joe, how could you be doing this? Yeah. Yeah. Shut up. I have more to say, lady.

He does not let himself. That's what he does in all the shows. And they call him crazy for he has the balls to, you know, to point out. Thank God for him. OK, so this is going to get really interesting. And he also raised suspicion about what Biden knew about his son's business dealings while he was vice president and what Biden's own role was. He claimed that Biden's son received money from China in an effort to buy the favor of the vice. I like how they say he claims it's it's all on record. It's all on fucking record, OK? Joe Biden and, you know, and his his son his drug addict ex-drug

addict son so but but giuliani gets right to it just the facts ma'am it's not playing games so um now they're gonna he's gonna get subpoenaed probably and uh this is gonna get real interesting i can't wait don't forget you're gonna what you're gonna think about all this stuff. The backdrop is the Russia collusion thing that's already been proved a hoax. The Brett Kavanaugh thing was proved a hoax. Stormy Daniels. So why would you believe these fucking people? Why would you believe them? The truth of the matter is, right after he won the election, they didn't want to accept it. And they had a game plan drawn out a long time ago. And they're throwing

the kitchen sink at this guy and uh and mark levin levin said this before trump was even inaugurated i was listening to him one night he goes trust me they will try to impeach this guy eventually he said that before he was inaugurated so So it's really horrible what's going on. It's all going to come out. It's Biden and the DNC who is colluding. Okay, they're the ones. They project, just like some crazy girlfriends I had. They always said, you're cheating.

Anyways, that's enough of that shit. Oh, no, we have to listen to this. If you don't think Biden's crazy already. Biden campaign demands TV executives stop booking Rudy Giuliani on shows or else. Biden's saying this. Bad man walking. He's finished. Former President Biden, Vice President Biden's presidential campaign on Sunday sent a letter to television executives at ABC, CBS, CNN, Fox News and NBC demanding they no longer book Rudy Giuliani on their network.

That sounds, I don't know, I'm not a lawyer. That doesn't sit well with the First Amendment. We don't agree with what you're saying, so don't put them on TV. Do you see how fucking desperate they are? They come right out and say that now? You can't put them on shows? Yeah. Demanding they no longer book Giuliani on, you know, Jake Tapasho, Chuck Todd, Chris Wallace, all included in the e-mails.

The letter was written by campaign advisors Anita Dunn and Kate Bendingfield. Who are these two broads? Why aren't they making me a sandwich? What? You can't talk like that. I just did. They don't want them out there. Tell them the truth. Here's the letter they sent. We are writing today with grave concern that you continue to book Rudy Giuliani on your air to spread false, debunked conspiracy theories on behalf of Donald Trump. Imagine having the balls to say that after two years of Russian hoax and Kavanaugh and all that shit, saying that they're the ones fucking lying. Yeah, yeah.

Look, he's going, pull my finger, somebody. There you go. I was just at the Iowa State Fair, and I had the chili. Picked up two votes because I'm white in my late hundreds. He says, while you often fact-check his statements in real time during the discussions, that is no longer enough. That's not enough. While Giuliani's on the air, they're checking what he's saying in real time,

but that's not enough for the Biden campaign. By giving him your airtime, you're allowing him to introduce increasingly unhinged, unfounded, and desperate lies into the national conversation. Do you fucking believe this? You need to shut the fuck up. Again, this comes after the two years of Russian and all that shit. Fuck up. Again, this comes after the two years of Russian and all that shit. Everything.

Christine, Christine, uh, de Blasio Ford. All this shit. What was her name? It was Christine Blasio Ford. Yeah. What did I say? You said de Blasio Ford. Ah, come on, Tommy.

That was a good one. You're watching the show like it's like you're watching the NASA launch. Fucking relax, Tom. I got this. We'll be making 11.5 by the end of the year. Anyhow. Just today, for example, this is what they're saying about Giuliani. He tried to resurrect the argument that Vice President Biden's anti-corruption work, anti-corruption work, getting a billion and a half from the Chinese.

The sun's getting 600 grand a year sitting on the board of an energy company that people are filing lawsuits against. And we're corrupt for trying to point it out. I say we're like I know Giuliani personally. He said when every single independent outlet has reported that Vice President was advancing the foreign policy goals of the U.S. government, the European Union, the International Monetary Fund. Oh, that's what he was doing. Well, lining his pockets, the World Bank and more by pushing to oust a prosecutor who was known to be in contempt. He also tried to raise complete completely baseless suggestions about Hunter Biden's work in China. Baseless suggestions.

The fucking check stubs are in the drawer. Seriously, these people have lost their shit. Anyhow, can you imagine being that shameless saying, don't put him on the air? He's spreading lies. Meanwhile, CNN's on a loop at every Delta terminal. People sit and they're like, I can't fucking take it. Point is, all this is going to come out.

Let me tell you, this is so bad for the country. We already hate each other at each other's throats after the collusion shit. Now we're going to do this? Now we're going to impeachment is just throwing gas on the fire. I say we get our muskets ready. Dick, you have guns, don't you? Yes. Okay.

Anyways, folks, come see me. You can get these dates at nickdip.com. I had a great weekend in Vegas and Salt Lake City. I can't tell you. And people are coming out. I sat on stage. Who listens or watches the show? And asked Tommy, about 80% of the people there uh applauded which made me hard as a fucking

shark's tooth i'll tell you anyways if you want to come see me live and i'm best seen live i'm like the stones uh thursday october 10th levity live in nyack new york friday october 11th the strand theater in seymour connecticut friday and sat Saturday, November 8th and 9th, the Kansas City Comedy Club. Friday, November 15th, Cortland Repertory Theater, Cortland, New York. Saturday, November 16th, the Comedy Works in Saratoga Springs, New York. Friday, November 22nd, the Historic Ritz Theater, Brunswick, Georgia. That's right. I'm playing and staying at the Ritz. Saturday, November 23rd, the Tift Theater, Brunswick, Georgia. That's right. I'm playing and staying at the Ritz. Saturday, November 23rd, the Tift Theater, where James Tifton was shot by a Native American.

Remember that? What? I just made that up. New Year's Eve, I'll be at the Tarrytown Music Hall in Tarrytown, New York. Tickets are available. That is one beautiful venue. And then in 2020,iday january 24th the ridgefield playhouse in ridgefield connecticut saturday saturday february 15th kelsey theater

lake park florida friday april 3rd morgan hill event center herman main i spent four years in herman mania no I never heard of that fucking time. Only Tommy could find Herman Mania. Tommy, don't tell me you spoke to like a big giant green guy who was the mayor. So I was in Vegas this week. I don't know when the last time you guys have been in Vegas. I'm not a big Vegas guy because I don't gamble and shit because I believe gambling takes luck and I don't like to do anything that involves luck other than show business. You know, it's just they go to pick me up for morning radio. I see a guy, I'd say he's 78 years old, playing the slots at 6 in the morning,

glass of whiskey, members only jacket on, dog shit on his running shoes. What makes this fucking guy think he has any luck whatsoever? dog shit on his running shoes. What makes this fucking guy think he has any luck whatsoever? Putting his Social Security check into the fucking Wheel of Fortune machine. Only luck that guy was going to experience is somebody stands on his air hose that was running up his nose from his tanks, put him out of his misery. What a fucking, oh, my God. So I stayed at the beautiful Plaza Hotel.

It's old school. Me and Tommy were treated like the Gambinos when we walked in there. And I didn't pay for a thing. The guy who has the gaming license was there. That's the Ace Rothstein, you know, De Niro's character in Casino. That's the guy. And his girlfriend was there, and we had dinner. And, you know, the waiters wear the white coats.

They're like in their 60s. Some of the dishes, I had some of the names. Joey C's clam plating. It was called No Broken Nose Meatballs. Real old school. And it's away from all the new age, you know, Vegas where all the phony people show up and take selfies and shit. This is a street across the street called Fremont Street. Tommy said to me when I got there, he goes, you've got to go down this street.

You're going to see people out of their minds. And I'm like, what are you talking about? I've been to Times Square. And you know what? This made Times Square look like fucking Salt Lake City. I've never seen more, you know, Mexican women in their 60s pregnant

fucking gun tattoos on their foreheads and never seen anything like it in my life. We took a few pictures actually of me. This guy stayed in my room for the three days. I call this

love at first bite. This guy had one tooth in his head. And this is what he does to make a living. He dry humps the air. People throw money in a bucket. I wanted a can of Raid so bad, but he was nice enough to hold that. Tommy, you can't see

Tommy has a gun pointed at his head like off camera. He's got his fanny pack in case you weren't sure, but he's humping my leg and shit. I had to go home and boil my pants. Looks like Harlan Williams. These broads right here. Huh? See that? You see the floor she's nailing on? That's outside. If this broad doesn't die as some type of bacterial, and they smell like they've been playing hoops for three hours.

Oh, my God. Now, that's the girl's tits that's being squeezed out her back, the one you can see at the top. But they were a lot of fun. I got them back to the room. I gave them the key to the mini bar. They emptied it and left one twix with two teeth marks in it. Look at that.

I like how they put electrical tape over their nipples. Rich, anything? You guys are awful quiet today You got the energy of a cancer benefit in here What are you afraid Because there's a black guy in the room I had tape on my nipples so I'm trying to keep quiet

But take it off your nipples And put it over your mouth you unfunny fuck Anyways Come on those girls are beautiful Put them back Put them back up Look at them they're beautiful a thousand other fucking pigs you had your dick in over the years that's my wife she saw this picture all right y'all fat fuck look at you anyways this is what they do for a living guys you think we're fit

rome in the final weeks rome would blush at some of the shit I saw. I saw a lady that, you know the women you see like in my 600-pound life? You know the ones that they have those legs, their sweats look like pastry bags that you decorate cakes with? She's in one of those scooters. The tires were literally almost flat. She's in one of those scooters. The tires were literally almost flat. She had to be 700 pounds. And she's got like a two-year-old Mexican boy asleep on her

chest. It was like the fucking green room. Jerry Springer at the height of his freak after freak. But we don't have the picture of the black dude holding the sign? No, that would have got me some votes.

God damn it. Anyways, go to Vegas. You wouldn't believe it, but stay at the Plaza Hotel. There's a zip line, people zipping over. I thought it was Greta Thunberg and her family trying to get out of town. But it was tremendous.

And the shows? Must have taken 100 pictures after the show. The showroom is stunning. It's absolutely stunning. And we had great crowds. And like I said, when we mentioned this show, both nights, fat round of applause. A lot of white trash there. And not there, you know, up the street.

But I'm just saying, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas unless you don't wear a condom. Then it spreads to every free clinic across the country. I was afraid after I went to that street and saw those freaks. I'm not shitting you. I went back to my room and I was thinking what might have went on. I was picking up the remote control for the TV with my ice tongs. Just. And my eyes were weeping when I woke up.

I was really nervous. I think I touched a broad's tit, the one on the right, and then touched my eyes. Speaking of white trash, how about this woman in Albany, Oregon? Speaking of white trash, how about this woman in Albany, Oregon? She's accused of feeding bean dip laced with meth to coworkers at a grocery store. I don't know about you. Bean dip's enough for me. I don't need the meth in it to clear my pipes.

But she seems like a nice lady. A, she was a hooah. B, she was a hooah. B, she was a hooah. A grocery store deli employee faces accusations she fed coworkers bean dip laced with methamphetamine. So, I don't know what to say. Investigators arrested Cassandra Medina Hernandez of Albany on September 25th on suspicion of unlawful delivery of methamphetamines, stealing a Martha Stewart recipe. What?

Bon appetit. Recklessly endangering another person and causing another person to shit his pants for six and a half months to ingest the control subs the investigation started weeks early on september 9th after the sheriff's office received a report of a jefferson woman who was given food which was uh suspected to have contained meth in uh methamphetamines um you're not supposed to you know eat bean dip and then you run like 30 miles in 10 minutes. Unless there's a portal party at the end. The victim, an employee of Jefferson Thriftway, told deputies she was at work, began feeling ill after eating bean dip she received from another employee who was working in the deli.

After being treated at an area hospital, the victim learned the bean dip may have contained methamphetamine. During the investigation that followed, deputies were able to determine at least one other employee had consumed bean dip and ground his teeth down to a fine nub from the same dish that was believed to have been contaminated. Why would you fucking do that? Look at her. She could be pretty if she lost 200 pounds and combed her hair and stopped poisoning people anyways uh the sheriff's office said management at jefferson thriftway has cooperated with investigators and she'll get a slap on the wrist what is this it's a new pattern what would

you rather have let me ask you a question somebody putting methamphetamine in your bean dip or or licking the ice cream at the store, what do you go with? I'm going with a bean dip in the fucking meth. Anybody? Nothing? You guys have the energy. Again, I have fucking kids with cancer. Ask a question.

We're on air. Anybody want a fucking pipe? Come on, Rich. Why don't you put some bean dip out? We'll talk more. Oh, God. Please tell me you're trying to be unfunny. Raz wants to go over there right now and fucking headbutt you into the next one. How about I just play that before you say anything?

Rich, what do you think of that? Exactly. Exactly. I have cancer of that? Exactly. I have cancer of the funny bone. Here we go again. Let's get back into it. Can I ask you a question? Here's a clip. We got a Georgia sheriff's employee fired.

He was the mechanic for Christ's sake that worked at the place for saying speak English to some Latino girls that worked at a fucking fast food place. Can I just ask the question? Any black or brown people ever done anything racist or said anything racist, according to the media? You know, other than going crazy at a Wendy's drive through at three in the fucking morning. This is where we are now. Every time a white person says something fucking racist, it becomes national news. It's just a way of life in America. We all don't like each other that much.

Can we just fucking admit it? Who's with me? Raz is like, what the fuck show am I going to do here? This is... Speak English, Georgia Sheriff's employees said to the... Here's the... The guy saw what? Go ahead.

I did. Yeah, you did. Here. What did you do? I was on the phone. No, I did. I came in and I... At least I can afford to...

Shut up. What do you mean? Shut the... Yeah, I'm videoing this. Al menos me puedo poner en el lugar. Sí, estoy en contra de esto. Eres racista. Eres racista. Y no deberías ser parte de eso. No deberías ser.

¿Hablando? No, estoy hablando con mis amigos. Eres racista. Sí, lo estoy. Sí, soy. Es mío. Me dice que hablen inglés. I'm speaking with my friends. You're racist. Yeah, I sure am. That's me. Me dice que hablen ingles. Yeah, you're going to leave right now. You're going to leave.

You can't tolerate me. You're going to leave. You're going to leave. All right? Cool. All right. Wake up, white people. Classic.

Classic of what's going on. I got to look up who said it. Who said it? Was it one of the Roosevelts? Was it the first one? What was his name, Kevin? Theodore? Yeah.

Might have been him. Might have been churchill somebody said if this doesn't work this experiment is we're going to be uh end up just being a bunch of different ethnicities living side by side with nothing in common squabbling you're watching it happen folks the dream's not working okay you could this clip this happens a million times a day you get an old school white guy with some fucking young broads, 19 years old, who are speaking Spanish. And he has the right to say that hate the racist shit that he said. She has the right to be upset.

But I'm just saying it's going to take 40 minutes to get your burger now. And we're about eating in America, God damn it. I love what he said. Fuck her. And she's talking Spanish. She's my friend. That was her defense. And you're about eating in America, goddammit. I love what he said. Fuck her. And she's talking Spanish. She's my friend. That was her defense. And you're a race.

Do you see how brainwashed these kids are? And he's at the age where he doesn't give a fuck. She goes, I'm filming. He goes, I don't give a fuck. Hey, wait a minute. Is that Bill Engvall from the blue comedy? Blue collar comedy? I don't give a fuck.

Larry the Cable guy is paying my rent, bitch. That's a classic squabble. This happens every day in this country, but it's national news because it's an old white guy. Meanwhile, I saw three stories, two stories over the weekend about two black guys beat the fuck out of some guy in a wheelchair and stole his shit on camera. I don't want to put it on because it's not news. It ain't news. It's just America. It's how we be living. Oh, Nick, that's horrible. I know. Wake up, white people.

So he can no longer be a mechanic at wherever the fuck. There's 40 bucks a week off the toilet. But I don't know. It makes for an interesting country, folks. Let's be honest. But we are not. This is not a melting pot, please. Like I said, this is a bowl of M&M's.

Somebody threw croutons in there, blue cheese dressing, a dirty sneaker, cigarette butts. That's how we're coming together. But I'm just saying, we report this. The New York Post was supposed to be a right-leaning paper. They have clips every day. Oh, here's a white woman yelling at a Hispanic woman in the supermarket. But here's what all these clips have in common, okay? They always say at the end, we don't know what triggered this confrontation. No, the cameras don't go on until, you know, the old white guy starts cursing out. We never have the beginning of the tape is what I'm saying.

We could just put it into context. That was at McDonald's's by the way and uh the girl's name was rio frios can i make that up maybe that's what he was ordering no then she would understood give me two large rio frios diet pepsi make it quick maria that gets viewed more than 15 000 times? Because the country has been taught that, look at this, we hate each other. That was at 9 a.m. What happens there at midnight when everybody's shit-faced? That's at 9 o'clock. Fuck you, you gringo. Oh, fuck you. Go back to the company. Who wants breakfast? It's almost 11. Wow.

So, anyways, Browning had been employed at the sheriff's office for three years as a building engineer. Well, he was not tasked with law enforcement. Browning was mandated to undergo racial bias training. This is before this happened. You know, white guys have to take, well, everybody does, racial bias training before he got the job as the engineer. That's back in Russia, circa 1930, 40s. That was called political rehabilitation. Why I said that with a Tony Zipano accent, I was trying to do a Russian as me, homie.

Anyways. And then, of course, the guy comes out, the McDonald's or whoever. The comments of this, oh, the guy who worked with him, the comments of this employee do not reflect the mission and the vision and the core values of his organization. Really? Your company doesn't believe in telling Mexicans

to go get back on a boat? Glad you clarified that. I was thinking about applying. And what the sheriff and the chief deputy stand for. That's why he's no longer employed. He's no longer employed because you have no balls. He's gone, and we can do nothing about it. And, of course, they mention,

we don't know what sparked this confrontation. No, we never do. That might put the story in context. We can't have that, can we? Here's Super Chat. All right, Richie, let it fly. Okay, we got about four today.

Buholic Bear said Schiff looks like an Andy Kaufman in character. Schiff looks like... He does have Andy Kaufman-like features. I you know, I always been saying Charles Grodin because I Grodin's got that face. I want to punch and take a blow torch to. But yes, he does. Andy Kaufman. Schiff has the eyes of a pedophile. And he's got those puffy cheeks and he does have that pencil neck.

He's an evil, deranged fuck. The fact that he came out of his mouse hole for round two with Trump, what's he going to do if he loses this one? Huh? Nothing. He'll stay in Washington and continue the good fight. Go ahead. Ryan sent a clown emoji, and then he sent the okay emoji,

which is now the white power emoji. So that guy, is he a fan of mine? Or saying, I'm not, we're not for white power here. No, they're saying the OK is now white power. Oh, the OK, yes, yes. Somebody told me that a while ago. Raz, can you weigh in? You're a black fellow.

Apparently this is the white. Raz is like, I've never heard that. I've heard every fucking racial epitaph in the book. Yeah, anything. It doesn't – Bunny actually contributed and she said, Nick, I thought you wouldn't show the photo of me with a tape on my chest. Congrats on the shows in Vegas. That's pretty bad when you have somebody working for the show contributing.

Are we in that? Are we in that much fucking problems financially? And then the last one. Let me guess. My mother with 10 bucks coming to town? Yep. Exactly. Last one.

Saw both shows in Vegas. Proud of you, Nick. And proud to call myself a knicker. That's what some of us decided to call ourselves. So you started a cult. Knickers? Okay. Guess we won't be drinking before the shows and I'm throwing that around.

That could be a, I don't know, that could be a great marketing tool. N-I-C-K-E-R-S. What are we trying to get me kicked off the planet? Jesus Christ, one slip of the tongue. However, you put that on hats, we're billionaires. Now listen,

I'm in it for the art, folks. Story of the week, sports story of the weekend. Got a couple of them, actually. This one made me applaud. I was just hoping it was an NFL ref,

but it was a colleague. A referee was shot by a cannon during a Maine Maritime Academy football game. Jason, I sent you a video right before the show, and we have actual footage of the guy getting shot. Is this the toughest man ever? It's a ref with no shirt on.

Well, it's Maine football. I played up there. Anyways, a referee was injured Saturday May Maritime when he, a cannon blast set off from behind the end zone, hit him in the head. It's academy tradition to sound off a cannon using a blank shotgun shell whenever the team scores.

Lucky they've been shut out every time. According to the sheriff's office. But authorities said an alumnus of the school who brought his own cannon. Who doesn't have their own cannon? He's a freshman Pakistani. He had a rocket launcher. Security's real tight at that stadium huh is that a guy with a fucking cannon in the end zone oh please i frisked him he's clean uh the authority said an alumnus of school brought his own cannon saturday to saturday's

homecoming game against mass maritime he loaded it with black powder which is racist in my opinion and a substance that's how politically correct campuses are you can't have used white gunpowder has to be black uh he made it into a wad the referee was struck by the wad and taken to a hospital with injuries because it was a main hospital he died immediately no um show show the video of uh the actual video. He's on the far right, on the far right. An MMA alum brought his own cannon to that game. Now, after MMA scores, it's a tradition for the school to shoot off a cannon using a blank shotgun shell. But police say this person brought his own cannon and had it loaded with black powder and something that he had made into a wad.

Pause. So then the guy gets up. He just announced he's going to run for president of Canada. Him and Trudeau are going to have a face-off, literally. Look at that stadium. There must be 11 people there. It was a real blood rivalry. Who brings a can to the game?

And who doesn't spot it, huh? Jesus H. Eloise. Anyways. Sheriff's office. Oh, you know what they're going to do now? Listen to this. This is such a reaction because we live in such a baggy world.

The school said in a statement that the cannon owned and operated by alumnus was fired from outside the fence. And the play was reviewed three times, apparently. One of the game officials was proceeding along the end line when the cannon was fired, struck by a packing material from the cannon. What, like bubble wrap? What are you getting fucking hit with? They immediately sent the guy overseas. The academy's president president listen to this here

here comes the ballless here comes the ballless white guy that runs the college and has to over here the academy's president has directed that these devices will no longer be permitted on campus for future events has that been a big problem everybody bringing their cannons and shit no more cannons and uh you No more cannons and you got to overreact. You know what I mean? Take care of the guy that did it. Put him in jail. Fine him or whatever. But I love that.

When the Patriots score, they shoot off those muskets and shit. Eventually they'll be using real ammunition. This is where we're heading in this country. But you don't have to take away the tradition. They're military school. They use cannons. They're going to replace the cannons with sparklers.

Every time the team gets to safety, we'll allow one sparkler. Fucking cheese dicks. I hate this country. Anyways, that's enough. Fucking cheese dicks. I hate this country. Anyways. That's enough. They put him in jail in Maine, so I've been there. Let's stay on sports. You guys know who Vontaze Burfik is?

The dirtiest player in the NFL. I happen to like dirty players. Always did. I was a bit of a cheap shot artist myself when I played. By the way, I played in Maine. Never got hit with a cannon shot. Had to run around a goat during a scrimmage. I'm not shitting you. My first scrimmage, it wasn't a goat actually. It was a deer. Yeah. You know, Maine's up in the

woods. Deke, I know you don't know that. First scrimmage on a Saturday morning. I ran up the middle. A hole opened up. I was on my way. A deer runs across my face. I had to cut. That's when you know you're at a real football factory. Was that your blocker?

No. Is that my blocker? I thought Rich was going to go, is his first name John? Then I got to come over and slap your headphones off. But Vontaze, which is a great name. If I was a brother and I was 6'3", 260, rip people's faces, a Vontaze. That or Terrell Suggs is my favorite.

Yeah, he has a history of dirty hits. And again, when I was a kid in the 70s, the Raiders were the filthiest team in football. And I was in love with, you know, Jack Tatum, George Atkinson, all these guys. Just go Google these guys and watch what they did. They were really mean motherfuckers. And they could play football, too. Anyways, the Raider linebacker was ejected from Sunday's game after a blatant headshot on defenseless Indianapolis Coats tight end Jack Doyle. Jack Doyle.

What's he, a detective from a novel? Let's show the video. Contact, as we can all see, right here with Montez Burford. Once that call is made on the field. Not exactly a controversial. You know, we have to take that out of the game, but I hope a few guys keep it in just to look at this. They probably had to review this for 20 minutes.

Gee, I don't know if that's helmet on helmet. What are you kidding me? They left the field together with their foreheads joined, like a couple of Siamese twins. Look at this thong. Oh, God. You can act like a man. What's the matter with you?

Yeah, so he's got the reputation as the dirtiest player in the league. Oh, that dirty cocksucker. 29-year-old. Listen to this. Here's some stats for you. Spent his first seven seasons with the Bengals. He's been fined or suspended 13 times. And he's been fined for about $4.12 million.

Something tells me he's not going to change his behavior. Money's not that important. Hey, I think I broke his fucking neck. Oh, goodness gracious, Heloise. All right, finally tonight, and again, another sports thing. World's first transgender boxer named Face of Everlast. Oh, God, help me. You can act like a man.

What's the matter with you? Everlast Boxing and Fitness Equipment Company has chosen transgender boxer Patricio Manuel as the face of its new campaign. And I don't really have a problem with this. The boxer born female, if you say so. I really don't. You know, I came up, as Obama said about, you know, I've evolved on the issue. And I've said it on the show before. This is where I surprise a few of my fans.

I really do think there's a spectrum. It's real simple. You get born with too much male juice or too much female juice. And I remember having this discussion with my wife. She goes, well, how would you like if you woke up today and, you know, you felt like a woman, but you had to put on what you're wearing? I said, I think I'd look ugly either way, fucking the clothes are horseshit. But look at this poor, you know, I mean, come on. But Jesus, is that the same person?

What's my point? I don't have one. The box of born female. Jesus, is that the same person? What's my point? I don't have one. The box of born female. No, I'm actually like, okay, to me it's not controversial. If I look like that, it was a woman, you know, it's like, no, I want to fucking knock somebody out. But my point is she really wants to knock God out.

That's who we're beefs with. She goes, for Christ's sake, you made me look like young Drew Carey going through chemo when he was 11. The boxer-born female who became the first transgender person took box to box professionally. We had the company's Be First campaign. Wasn't that Brett Kavanaugh's when it came to the gang rape thing? In the Everlast video, the boxer says that as a child, he felt completely disconnected from myself, and I believe it. What a horrible way to go through. I just mentally checked

out so that I could continue coping through life. So the kid was confused. You know, can you blame him? Here he is talking about it, or her. Him. We have the interview, Jace. California, there are so many people that have said that it's impossible for someone like me, a trans man, to be able to compete against a non-trans man.

Pause. I guess he left the voice. Go ahead. And I proved them all wrong that night. I walked out of that fight. Look at him beating that guy up. That guy had to move out of the country. Pause.

I don't, but that's where they start. Oh, people think I couldn't accomplish anything. I'm not saying that anymore. I said a couple weeks ago, but not anymore. No, but that guy should be, that girl should be a guy. No? Doing what he's... Until, you know, the technical knockout.

Somebody hits him in the vagina with a low blow. We lose a glove. But go ahead. Hearing my name called and, you know, hearing my crowd and us being brought to the center, the adrenaline rush of it was the most incredible experience I've ever had in my life. I want to hear from the other guy because he's boarding a plane. I want to live in a world where being yourself isn't seen as this courageous act.

Pause. Does that go for old white guys who are getting beefs? At Burger King with a Mexican-speaking girl? I'm just asking. Can we all be ourselves? This guy's doing what he should be doing or her or whatever. And I hope he's found some peace, you know. My vagina's angry.

It is. It's pissed off. Anyways, Manuel initially boxed as a female and won five national amateur championships. So God bless her. She was a kicking ass as a woman and could see that it wasn't fair, I'm guessing.

Because now we have, you know, we have transgender guys jumping into women's races and winning by three miles. You can tell, you know, they haven't finished transitioning as they're going through the tape. Their balls are hanging out of their shorts and there's like three cute blonde girls crying behind them a mile anyway uh anyways his message is uh stop living the lie you know uh it's going to hurt living your truth is going to hurt but it but it's worth it

and uh i don't i don't have a problem. I do have a problem with the guys who are transitioning, and they jump into a female competition, you know. For example, you know, the Williams sisters. They should be playing men. Let's be honest. Anyways, that is it for today, ladies and gentlemen. I want to thank the guys that came out to Salt Lake City in Vegas.

Wise Guys is one of the nicest clubs I've ever been in. And Tommy's Room in Vegas at the Plaza Hotel. It is what a hangout. The restaurants, the food. It was great. And so many people came out because of the show. Can't thank you guys enough for that. Don't forget Cameo.com.

If you want me to send a personal video roasting one of your friends or somebody you hate, or I can be nice and say happy bar mitzvah or whatever. Cameo.com. Click. Fucking six cups of coffee, man. I'm going to go home and try to take a nap now and count the fucking sailing fan spokes. Anyways, remember, you guys think it. I will say it.

You're very welcome. And we will talk to you again on Patreon.com tomorrow. Take care of yourselves everybody guitar solo We'll see you next time. you